2017-07-05: The Tournament Globe Rises

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==========================<* Lacour - Market District *>==========================

The Lacour Market District does not rival that of the major commercial powers of Filgaia in terms of volume or value of trade, but it the class of the world in traditional weapons and protective gear. More than a hundred individual shops line the streets of the district, each bearing its own name, specialties, and branding. Almost any kind of weapon or armour can be found in Lacour, and odds are good that anything innovative will be found here first...or make its way here in short order.

The merchants of the Market District are proud and competitive, and walking down the streets is an exercise in patience, as they bombard passersby with litanies in praise of their work and curses for the rust-ridden works of their neighbours. At no time is this competition more fierce than during the Lacour Tournament of Arms; this annual exhibition to name the World's Greatest Fighter includes considerable prestige for the merchants sponsoring their entries, and talented fighters will find their services heavily sought-after.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bqMqHag86c

DG: Lunata Croze has created a party! To join, type +party/reset and then type +party/join Lunata Croze.
DG: You are already a party leader. Pass Leader status to somebody else in your party before attempting to join another party.
DG: You've already acted for this turn. Please wait until actions are processed and the next turn begins before leaving the party.
DG: Rose has joined your party!
DG: Neriah Parringer has joined your party!
DG: A party led by Lunata Croze is now entering The Tournament Globe.
DG: Party formation is now over. An Entry Challenge will now be drawn and displayed to the party.

====================<* CHALLENGE - The Tournament Globe *>====================
|Type: Entry       |Dungeon Ability: Brute     |Challenge Rating: 1          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 The Saucery Globe menace is back! And now, it's collaborating with the        
 Sparrowfeathers Merchant Guild and Jay's Curatives and Curios!                
                                                                               
 As always, the rules are the same: You have one hour, and anything that       
 helps you digest and consume this monstrosity of a culinary disaster,         
 whether it be bombs, knives or magic goes!                                    
                                                                               
 This time, the Saucery Globe's been done up in the style of the Lacour Arms   
 Coliseum... made out of crust. Goodness, it's a veritable /castle/ of         
 breaded panko, deep-fried to golden delicious buttery goodness. Just what     
 secrets lie past the fortified defenses of this Globe?                        
                                                                               
 Eat... and find out!!                                                         
=Dungeon Conditions: Tire=====================================================

<Pose Tracker> Lunata Croze has posed.

A few days after the tournament started, Lunata receives a sylphjay with a particularly curious message:

'Come to the Market Stall, Lunata. Your culinary education will continue. --Aunt H.'

And it is thus that the mad genius and culinary lawbreaker of the fine dining world has arrived at Lacour in time for the Arms Tournament with a second leg of her devilish invention... the Saucery Globe: Tournament Edition!!

Lunata isn't quite sure why she's seated at the head of a large oval table with fresh white tablecloth and a wonderful centrepiece, with knife and fork and napkin at her collar... but she's about to find out. She's not a big eater by any stretch, so she's not really certain how much she could contribute to something like this... but...

'Gaooooo-n...'

Ge Ramda emerges from within her, floating above. The spectral lich, dressed in bridal kimono and ancient regalia, also... has a napkin tied around both her clavicles, and has refined one of her fingers on each end to look like a fork and knife.

It's also wearing a chef's hat.

"E-eh?! You want to eat too, Ge Ramda?!"

'Gaoo-n. Gao-n gao-n.'

"W-well, if you're sure..."

She looks towards the spectacle in front of her -- unlike the perfectly spherical and round Saucery Globe, this one's adorned much like how a sandcastle would -- a glistening golden brown crust in the shape of a fortification, complete with little portcullises made out of bacon and a moat that floats around it streaming with rich gravy... and a kids' lunch toothpick flag up top.

Which she immediately snags for herself with a 'yay~'

Ge Ramda heaves its massive claw back and immediately tears into one of the parapets -- which is revealed to be a huge boerworst underneath the crumb! Om nom nom nom, lich is hungry... please wait warmly... 

DG: Lunata Croze has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward her party's challenge, The Tournament Globe.

<Pose Tracker> Neriah Parringer has posed.

The truth is, Neriah's here because she's hungry and too poor to afford much by way of great food. Plus she's a disastrous chef. And her run through the tournament didn't win her much by way of gella.

"Luniiiie, I'm starving," Neriah groans as she slouches into place, still in her pink-tunic outfit and carrying her shovel. She flops into a seat -

Her mouth opens slightly as Lunata's lich friend appears. A momentary look of shock dances behind her eyes.

Then she just smiles and reaches over in her seat to give Lunata a quick hug about the shoulders, as if the girl had suddenly become her best friend.

Just as quickly, she disengages, blushing and looking up at the tremendous Globe in front of them. "Okay," she says with a big smile, mostly to herself. "Gotta do good for Lunie and her new friend. Gonna do my best...!"

Neriah promptly digs her shovel into the Globe and scoops out a heaping pile of crust. Then she opens her mouth.

She does not manage to get the entire shovel blade in there but she does open pretty damned wide.

  • NOM*
DG: Neriah Parringer has used her Tool Trusty Shovel toward her party's challenge, The Tournament Globe.

<Pose Tracker> Rose has posed.

"Imma try it!" Rose says.

"Don't try it," Eguille warns.

"Imma do it!" Rose insists.

"Don't do it," Dezel rumbles, arms crossed.

"IMMA EAT IT!" Rose finally proclaims.

"I'll get the medicine," Rosh says, shrugging as he produces a stomach first-aid kid.

And so we find Rose unwisely next to Lunata, grinning as she grabs a piece of the breaded defenses and starts chewing. "Hey Lunata! I didn't know you were into these sorts of events! You tell me if your stomach starts grumbling, the medicine's on the house today!" It is after all the public demo run of the TOURNAMENT GLOBE, and Rose has to represent her guild. Since they're sitting over there, selling all manners of delicious pills and juices that will ease the eternal agony inflicted by this place.

There is a glance to Neriah as she uses her shovel, too. "You clean that often, right?" Hey, if she didn't ask, someone else would have. 

DG: Rose has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward her party's challenge, The Tournament Globe.

<Pose Tracker> Neriah Parringer has posed.

"Mmmmmhmm mmh clghn mt ghhl th' tghm," Neriah answers Rose, her cheeks stuffed full of Globe and bulging like a chipmunk's. 

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

After her previous brush with the Saucery Globe, Jacqueline had learned much. Someday, she needed to challenge it again for herself...but that was not today. For today, she was exhausted.

She hadn't been involved in the actual cooking, of course, but her part of the work had been pretty exhausting all the same. Still, she was pretty proud of what this collaboration had produced.

...A part of her had been tempted to participate in the guise of the Mysterious Gourmet, but...something told her it wasn't the time for that.

Not yet.

The Mysterious Gourmet would make her appearance once more, but it wouldn't be today.

She sits off to the side, hands folded in her lap as she observed the competitors. They were all people she considered friends, so she was both glad and filled with trepidation that they were the first challengers.

She'd seen what terrible fate awaited those who challenged the Globe...

"Good luck, everyone! I believe in you all, so do your best!" She says. 

<Pose Tracker> Shalune Amira has posed.

Shalune is... ... is... sat next to Lunata on her other side? The pink-haired, bobblehatted girl who is no taller or larger than her childhood friend is looking a little stunned, as if she's not exactly sure how she got here; the last thing she remembers is getting a note from Aunt Hilda, something about a celebration to renew her employment, and then everything gets kind of strangely fuzzy. At least that might explain why - hat aside - she's here in the Starfall Saloon's maid uniform, with a dainty napkin already tied around her neck.

She does her best to shake the fuzz away from her brain, dimly recognizing Lunata's cry of joy at getting the best bit and Ge Ramda's call to dinner--

--and immediately freaks, her eyes wide white circles. "A-aah--! She made another one!?" she blurts reflexively, and stares around her as it dawns upon her, voice rising higher in pitch: "--we're going to eat it?! T-this isn't what a 'performance review' means, Lunie, I'm pretty sure-- w-why does she keep making the~ese?!" she wails, a definite sign of earlier trauma in her life. Maybe that's just what happens around Aunt Hilda.

  • * *

"Uuu, I'm gonna get so round... I'm gonna be a Lunie-balloonie," she's already whining softly to heself, but all in all her presence here might be a bit of a guilty pleasure - she's already making deceptively quick work of all the burnt and crispy bits around the edge, having peeled many of them off into her pot as soon as she had the chance. 

DG: Shalune Amira has used her Tool Soup of the Day -Shalune Ver.- toward her party's challenge, The Tournament Globe.

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

There comes a time in all men's lives when they are expected to consume far more food than can ever be called reasonable. More food than can be crammed into the same space as one's head. More food than can be used to feed a small village for a week.

And so this day has come for one Cyre H. Lorentz.

Why, though? What had he done to deserve this fate?

FIVE MINUTES AGO

"Huh. Saucery Globe? That doesn't sound too bad. What's the worst that it could be?"

Behind the sales counter, a pair of eyes flash ominously.

NOW

"This..." Cyre's eyes twitch nervously beneath the shadow of his hood. "...Is this real? I'm actually seeing this, right?" He reaches out and prods experimentally at the crumbly panko walls. "I'm... Supposed to eat this...?"

...

Tentatively, hesitantly, Cyre approaches one wall with a pair of sporks, for the Saucery Globe is too great for any ordinary cutlery. 

DG: Cyre H. Lorentz has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward his party's challenge, The Tournament Globe.
DG: The party led by Lunata Croze has passed this challenge! The party gained 12 exploration! If anyone needs to use party management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

Beat.

"Don't you mean--" Cyre stares at Shalune. "--A Balunie?"

He takes another bite, and then somehow chokes on a panko crumb.

He deserved that. 

<Pose Tracker> Lunata Croze has posed.

So intricately crafted is the castle that there's a bit of delight in every bite; behind the walls are little brick-shaped pieces of chicken breast and cubed sirloin, made all the more glistening with the parmesan and chipotle-spiced breadcrumb filling. The gravy makes for a delectable backdrop with how it floats with little sprigs of thyme and tarragon. My goodness...!

"U-um, it's Auntie... she's telling me I could learn something from here--" Lunata admits to Rose, before smiling at Neriah with a hug in turn. "Yes, let's do our best!"

She's taken a little piece for herself and is starting to daintily nibble...

Fortunately, Ge Ramda is doing more than its fair share of work, for how much Lunata isn't really a big eater.

The question of..... where a skeletal being's food goes if it doesn't have a stomach is...

...well, let's not dwell too much on that.

Cyre carefully tears off and undoes the castle brick by brick, applying a deeply crafty sporking method while Shalune cheats and steals all the good charred and crispy bits for herself, the scad! Fortunately, between Ge Ramda, Neriah's shovelry and Rose's undoing of the breading... they eventually storm the gates and power through!!

"... I'm full already...." Lunata says the thing you should never say during a challenge. "Luunieee..." 

DG: Cyre H. Lorentz has drawn a new Challenge.

=<* CHALLENGE - Seis-er Salad (Kahm Yugh) served with Slacker Cocktail (Fei Fong Wong) *>=
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Agility   |Challenge Rating: 1          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 A riveting salad of vibrant colours, the Seis-er salad is a bold toss of      
 butterhead lettuce, shaved parmesan cheese, and crunchy cubes of crostini     
 topped with crispy rashers of panchetta. A creamy dressing of olive oil,      
 garlic and anchovies is dashed with lemon and drizzled ontop for a sharp,     
 tangy punch! Just don't ask what the mystery meat in it is...                 
                                                                               
 The Dragon Slaying Slacker Cocktail, on the other hand, is sure to titillate  
 the tastebuds -- blended dragonfruit is spiced with a base of lime juice and  
 cordial, for a zany, zingy taste that's sure to get any slacker up and        
 running to go slay dragons!                                                   
=Dungeon Conditions: Slow=====================================================

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

What is there to be learned from this... this apocalyptic example of ostentatious consumption. This bastion of culinary excess. Beyond the crispy, deep-fried walls is a vast courtyard; no, a bountiful garden! A pairidaeza of succulent greens capped by a fine dusting of pungent cheeses and glistening with oil. The aroma of olives and garlic ease the sharp scent of anchovies and hints at the depth of flavor hidden within.

And then... Beyond even that, there is a circle of fruit. A grand moat of pureed fruit and tangy citrus that surrounds the inner heart of this culinary citadel...!

Cyre just sort of stares at it.

For a very long time, he stares at it.

His eye twitches. Slowly, he extracts an enormous leather sheet from his side, and with it, he...

Starts scooping entire swathes of salad and scrunching it all together. If he eats fast, he won't notice how much he's eating, right? 

DG: Cyre H. Lorentz has used his Tool Reverse Parachute toward his party's challenge, Seis-er Salad (Kahm Yugh) served with Slacker Cocktail (Fei Fong Wong).

<Pose Tracker> Lunata Croze has posed.

Lunata's eyes widen as she gazes upon the Seis-er Salad. At first glance, this appears to be fairly similar to a Kaiser Salad, but...

"... no way?!"

She takes one bite with a gasp, hand placed to her cheek.

"Unlike a regular Kaiser, the combination of oils, garlic and anchovies...

She's added a subtly nutty hazelnut flavour to the crostini, which goes well with the tartness of the lemon zest!

The unsmoked nature of the panchetta concentrates the flavour...

And...

The crispness of butterhead serves to elevate it to another level over iceberg!!"

Ge Ramda, on the other hand, is just shovelling food into its mouth. No appreciation for the classics, this one. 

DG: Lunata Croze has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Seis-er Salad (Kahm Yugh) served with Slacker Cocktail (Fei Fong Wong).

<Pose Tracker> Neriah Parringer has posed.

Neriah cracks the hell up upon hearing 'Lunie-balloonie,' not gonna lie.

It slows down how much she can eat, but she does eventually recover her equilibrium enough to shovel out a ton of food cubes for herself. She doesn't seem like she's going to slow down any time soon, either. Turns out she's starving. The sight of the vast salad, though, leaves her forming her lips into a little 'o' of amazement. "Lunie," she says, "is this your doing?" Here she looks at Lunata, her eyes wide. "It looks..."

"...It looks so good...!"

Neriah opens her mouth about as wide as she can. It's fairly wide. Scooping up a plateload of the seis-er salad, she angles her head back and proceeds to slide an entire serving of it into her mouth all at once.

She struggles to actually chew it... but manages to do so... somewhat quickly.

Look, it's very agile chewing, shut up. 

DG: Neriah Parringer has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Seis-er Salad (Kahm Yugh) served with Slacker Cocktail (Fei Fong Wong).

<Pose Tracker> Shalune Amira has posed.

"We-- we can do it! Right? If we're gonna deal with the Tournament we're going to need energy, so-- so we'll just stock up now and then burn it off later! We'll just train it off then end up super-slim! Right?!" Shalune is obviously trying to keep her own spirits up along with Lunata's, though perhaps it's telling that there's already an edge of panic to her voice as it wavers; she glances up at the lich with a deeply suspicious frown, as if worried the calories will somehow just translate over to Lunata.

She balks a little when she spies the salad lying in wait; tilting her head, she whines in the rough direction of the other diners. "U-um... every so often, a little alarm goes off in Aunt Hilda's head and she makes somethin' like this," chimes the voice of experience. "I mean, um, she's seriously amazing for the way she can just pull something like this off so quickly, but I always feel kind of sorry for whoever ends up with it on their plate..."

That includes now, apparently, her voice low with concern and worry. As if to save herself, she slows down a little, a long-lived experience knowing full well that the salad's just there to fill you up early - and yet, she can't resist sneaking an abandoned piece of panchetta from Lunata's plate--

--and immediately screwing her face up with another whine. "U-uu... it's so good, though, it's not faaair..." 

DG: Shalune Amira has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Seis-er Salad (Kahm Yugh) served with Slacker Cocktail (Fei Fong Wong).

<Pose Tracker> Rose has posed.

"Full? This is just the start!" Rose says, looking at Lunata with a grin. "I don't know what there is to learn, but you've GOT to get enough food in you! It's better to eat too much than not enough! Listen to Neriah, she's on to something there! You need energy!" Is... is it really?

Dezel, over there, grits his shark teeth.

What a reckless vessel.

Behind the fortress of baked goodness is... salad! Delicious, highly dressed salad, and dragonfruit cocktails no less. Rose grabs a massive forkfull of salad and stuffs her mouth full, washing it down with the cocktail like it ain't no thing. Then another, and another. Poor Rose, haven't you ever been told not to fill up on bread and salad before you order the main course?

Mouth full, she turns to Cyre too. "Hey, those ears are cool! What kind of dog-person are you?" That cannot possibly be the politically correct way to ask that question. 

DG: Rose has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Seis-er Salad (Kahm Yugh) served with Slacker Cocktail (Fei Fong Wong).
DG: The party led by Lunata Croze has passed this challenge! The party gained 37 exploration! If anyone needs to use party management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

"There's no time to be full," Cyre growls over his makeshift BURRITO OF VEGETATION. "There's only time to eat. To consume. Think of nothing else! If you think too hard about how much you're eating, it will go STRAIGHT TO YOUR THIGHS!" Cyre has it on good authority that this is how you motivate people to eat. You threaten their body-shape. It works perfectly well.

No really. It does. Soon enough, the garden of delicious salad and the fruity moat are consumed in their entirety, leaving their next challenge waiting ahead...!

There's a beat.

Cyre stares at Rose with a literal fistful of anchovies.

"A... dog...?" Cyre's ears twitch. "...I'm... No dog!!"

He presses his hand directly into his mouth. The fish sort of... disappear. "I AM A MAAAAAAN!" 

DG: Neriah Parringer has drawn a new Challenge.

==========<* CHALLENGE - Dancer's Special (Jean) served with Xan-tea *>==========
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Combat    |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >----------------------------
 The Dancer's Special is a true testament to the extraordinary diversity of    
 Lunarian cooking, as can only be done by someone who's travelled with a       
 dance troupe! Chicken leg pieces and pork chops are highly spiced with a      
 jerk seasoning flared up with habaneros and Lunarian reapers, sure to evoke   
 the dark past within you!                                                     
                                                                               
 Calm down with a martially effulgent and yet spirited cup of Xan-tea,         
 afterwards. Just watch out for the hidden punch within this seemingly         
 tranquil beverage!                                                            
=Dungeon Conditions: Overwhelm================================================

<Pose Tracker> Neriah Parringer has posed.

Neriah crunches down a big mouthful of salad, swallowing a huge lump of it. Her throat bulges out a little. "Umm! See," she says, gesturing at Rose. "She's a smart cookie!" Then she pauses. "Lunie, are there cookies in it? I hope there are cookies in it."

Then she pauses and stares at Cyre. She gasps, cupping her hands to her cheeks. "Oh my god, he's a catboy!" she gushes. "I didn't even realize before now!"

Setting her shovel aside, Neriah rises in her chair, instead taking up a fork and knife. With delicate care, she pushes aside the salads... to reveal the delicate array of chicken legs and pork chops arrayed on the very next layer, undoubtedly threatening to awaken the darkness within her!

Neriah folds her hands together for a moment and closes her eyes, as though saying grace over the spicy pork chops. "Granas, I am not worthy to receive this spicy wonder," she murmurs. "But only say the word and I shall try my best not to breathe fire all the time."

Then she grabs a chicken leg and takes a giant-ass bite of it.

Her eyes water immediately. 

DG: Neriah Parringer has contributed a Combat Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Dancer's Special (Jean) served with Xan-tea.

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

"They're doing fairly well...I'm impressed." Jacqueline observes, leaning back in her chair. So far, none of the dishes contained within the Globe had really delayed the challengers...

But this next dish might prove to be positively Overwhelming.

She reserves her judgment for now. Will they be able to succeed...? She can only hope.

"Keep up the good work, everyone!" 

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

"I'M NOT A CATBOY!" Cyre says over a DOUBLE fistful of extra-spicy chicken. "I!" Nom. "AM!" Om. "A!!" Omnom. "CAT-/MAAAAAAAN!"

"This is good though," he then says, his face turning bright red. Sweat is beading at his forehead and flowing down his face. He's... tearing up. But somehow he seems... happy? "This flavor is... So... nostalgic...!" 

DG: Cyre H. Lorentz has contributed a Combat Basic Action toward his party's challenge, Dancer's Special (Jean) served with Xan-tea.

<Pose Tracker> Lunata Croze has posed.

Lunata gasps just a little bit as she whimpers, "O-oh no..." she looks towards the Dancer's Special, an enormous pile of meat that looks too spicy for even her! She tries to look for Aunt Hilda for a moment, but there's no saving or getting her out of this one. "U-um, I think so! or, oh, Lunie, heat's supposed to make you sweat out the calories, right?" Lunata with the Alternative Facts.

Ge Ramda, however, looks positively gleaming with energy as it stares down the dish of Lunarian origin with a haunted, longing look in its eye...

Lunata's eyes erupt into blue flame with a sudden shock.

"The butterfly dances... the sword echoes with an earthly howl!

I draw forth the spirit of the blade, Orochi-Agito!"

The black cube that surrounds Ge Ramda suddenly elongates into an ornate katana, and the lich grabs hold of its sheath as it stoops over for an iai-stance.

Slash!

'OISHII--' is carved in artful brush strokes in midair for a moment, and then a large pile of chicken and pork collapses into itty bitty bite-sized pieces that Lunata then soaks in yoghurt and begins to munch on. "M-mm! It's not too spicy now! Thank you, Ge Ramda!" 

DG: Lunata Croze has used her Tool Orochi-Agito toward her party's challenge, Dancer's Special (Jean) served with Xan-tea.

<Pose Tracker> Neriah Parringer has posed.

"Mitth Dthay, itth thpithy," Neriah whines towards Jacqueline as she bites into another chicken leg.

Then she gasps and stares at Cyre in mild amazement.

Her heart flutters in her chest...! 

<Pose Tracker> Shalune Amira has posed.

"--ooh, ooh, Aunt Hilda included the best part, at least!" chimes Shalune happily as she claps her hands together in glee. Already, without apparently moving through the intervening space, she's somehow managed to pile her plate high with seriously spicy meat, and is attacking it with a gusto that completely belies how hot the seasoning actually is.

Yoghurt? Tea? Shalune needs no accessories, simply attacking the meal with a beautific grin as she hums under her breath.

Is the sweat getting absorbed by her bobble hat? Is she just immune to spices after years of Aunt Hilda's cooking? Who can say - but in the face of it, a great deal of her worries seem to have at least blown away, and she's almost curling up on her chair as she shuffles in closer to the table.

"Mm-mm!" she confirms to Lunata with a solid nod of her head, before pausing to watch the lich's graceful cutting technique, swallowing afterwards to add the comment: "Or at least-- it's the best way to take calories on, y'know?"

... ...

For a brief moment, she wonders if you can cook with blue eye-flame. 

DG: Shalune Amira has contributed a Combat Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Dancer's Special (Jean) served with Xan-tea.

<Pose Tracker> Rose has posed.

Rose does not recall cookies being on the menu but then again that menu was massive. And she didn't see all of it! So she abstains from answering, stuffing her mouth full of salad instead. She's starting to regret that, finding that her hunger isn't as up to the challenge as she thought. That's two meals already! And there's a third! ... there's way more in there, she recalls.

One whiff of the spices and Rose squints.

"I'm not sure spicy does this one justice," she says, then glances towards Cyre. "Oh? But you have... OH! Oh I get it! Are they wolf ears? I mean they're pretty cool and fluffy, do you have a tail too?" Rose did not look, so she asks.

Lunata holds her attention, with repeated comments that more than prove she knows her food. Far more than Rose. Maybe more than anyone else here! Also martial arts to slice the food apart? A cool morphing katana? This just got pretty serious!

"You take your meals seriously, dang!"

Rose, well, she's just eating like a NORMAL PERSON. That is, one chicken leg at a time, and seeking a sip of tea between every bite. "So who's this Aunt Hilda?" 

DG: Rose has contributed a Combat Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Dancer's Special (Jean) served with Xan-tea.
DG: The party led by Lunata Croze has passed this challenge! The party gained 26 exploration! If anyone needs to use party management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.

<Pose Tracker> Neriah Parringer has posed.

Neriah can only take so much spicy food. She's not Riesenlied, but she's shoveling a lot of pork chops into her mouth one after the other here. Soon enough, though, she's getting to a point where she can take no more. Tears bead at the corners of her eyes as she lifts another pork chop. Just one more.

"I caaaan't," she wails as she flops back in her chair. "Too hot... too full... too tummy..."

Then she steels herself visibly. Her fists clench as she thumps one against the table. "N-no, I can't quit!" she shouts. "I've gotta do this! I've gotta... I've gotta do it like a beast! A Lunie-allied beast!"

She opens her mouth. Draws in the pork chop.

Triumphant music plays as she chews it... chews it... and swallows it. Painfully.

"Hnnnnnnngh!" she vents, flexing her noodle arms dramatically. "Have... a good day!" 

DG: Shalune Amira has drawn a new Challenge.

==============================<* CHALLENGE -  *>==============================
|Type:             |Dungeon Ability:           |Challenge Rating:            | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------

=Dungeon Conditions: =========================================================

DG: Lunata Croze has drawn a new Challenge.

=<* CHALLENGE - Lulu Parfait (Lunata Croze) served with Princess Frappé (Alisha Diphda) *>=
|Type: Final       |Dungeon Ability: Brute     |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 The Lulu Parfait is a sweet and delicate dessert that nonetheless seems to    
 exude the chill of death itself. Made of a bed of whipped cream and eggs,     
 served with slices of strawberry layers inbetween, this enormously sized      
 dessert is not to be contended with lightly... lest the butterfly garnish     
 atop touch you and send you to the nether realm!!                             
                                                                               
 The Princess Frappé comes alongside, a blended drink of Lunata's finest       
 espresso blend with shaved ice served with a generous topping of fresh cream  
 and strawberry sauce ontop. Truly a beverage worthy of those of Ladylake,     
 one sip of this will make you feel as if you've the mantle ... and            
 responsibility... of royalty!                                                 
=Dungeon Conditions: Suffer===================================================

<Pose Tracker> Shalune Amira has posed.

"Oh," perks Shalune, her eyes bright from a sudden infusion of spices. Again, her face-- doesn't seem the slightest bit red or flustered, despite how hot the last course was, and so instead Rose just gets the warm smile of a Lunie. That then turns surreptitious as she completely fails to whisper: "Aunt Hilda's the secret power behind the Starfall Saloon! Lunie's an amazing cook, but Aunt Hilda's kind of this mythical figure, y'know? One time, she managed to kick a bandit out of the saloon using only a pair of chopsticks! Without even touching him!"

... shalune how does that relate to food exactly

A pause, and Shalune catches herself, bobbling slightly in consternation as she glances to one side, imagining that in the distance she can hear the ringing of an apocalyptic dinner bell. "I-I mean, um-- Aunt Hilda's a very fair and great boss, and I'd never work under anyone else! That's what I mean!"

As if to break away from the subject, she drags in a breath of effort, and heaves her fork into the midst of the Saucery Globe - and with an almost audible crack, the inner shell of delicate sugar peels away as the entire thing splits in two, the remnants falling to each side to reveal--

--dessert!

Shalune very nearly goes for it immediately, her eyes lighting up at the enormous parfait. For all that she loves spicy foods, Shalune is also a five-foot pink-haired young girl of about seventeen, and if you were expecting her to somehow not also have a sweet tooth, then boy do I have news for you.

Even so, something brings her up short suddenly. "Um. Does this cream feel like it's echoing with death to anyone else...?"

She wouldn't put it past Aunt Hilda, after all. We're just saying. 

DG: Shalune Amira has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Lulu Parfait (Lunata Croze) served with Princess Frappé (Alisha Diphda).

<Pose Tracker> Neriah Parringer has posed.

"It feels like I'm going to die if I eat it," groans Neriah as she clutches her tummy with both hands. "So good. So much. So good. So much. So good. So much."

Wracked by the food coma to end all food comas and struggling to stay awake, Neriah picks up her shovel again. She tilts her head back and swallows a big mouthful of lunie-sunday. Ice cream drips down her chin.

Then she twitches a few times, gasping and wincing and rubbing her forehead. "Ahhhhhh oh my god brain freeze brain freeze," she wails, kicking her booted feet a little and squirming in her chair. Steeling herself, she groans and keeps on rubbing - but even as that brutal chill plagues her senses, she frees one hand and reaches for the other sweet treat.

The Princess Frappe.

"This is gonna go straight to my thighs," she mutters as she takes a long drink from it.

Neriah perks up a bit, then. "...Then again, Miss Alisha does have--" 

DG: Neriah Parringer has used her Tool Trusty Shovel toward her party's challenge, Lulu Parfait (Lunata Croze) served with Princess Frappé (Alisha Diphda).

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

"..." A wolf? She thinks... He's a wolf...? "......" Rose... Rose. Is this why it took so long for you to see Seraphim? Is it because you are actually this dense? Oh my God, Rose.

No time to think about that. It's time... For dessert.

And what a dessert it is. A parfait piled high with heavy cream and so many strawberries. Cyre can feel it. He can feel his intestines revolting against the inevitable fate that awaits them. A little cream, sure. A little is fine, but this... This...!

It reeks of the powers of death itself...!

Wait.

Waaaaaait.

"Lunata," Cyre sideglances at the adorable waitress and her bizarrely helpful GIANT LICH FRIEND. "Does... Does Ge Ramda cook...?"

He's retrieved an incense burner from somewhere inside his cloak and has set it alight. The smoke is fragrant, the vapors fortifying. Is this a meal, or an exorcism? Both? With a sigh, Cyre brandishes his sporks and embraces his fate...! 

DG: Cyre H. Lorentz has used his Tool Invigorating Vapors toward his party's challenge, Lulu Parfait (Lunata Croze) served with Princess Frappé (Alisha Diphda).

<Pose Tracker> Lunata Croze has posed.

Lunata stares closely at the dessert and--

Her eyes begin to sparkle. "... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh--"

She squeals and begins to melt in a way that no one except Jay and Shalune have seen her done so in her childhood, cupping her cheeks with her hands--

"It lookshh shoo goood...!!" Hearts and a pink backdrop have appeared behind her.

Ge Ramda begins to reach for a piece of the parfait, except Lunata just kinda backfists the lich as if to say 'NO, MINE' and begins to stuff her face. "Oh, this cream is freshly whipped! Mmm, the strawberry is lightly tossed in lemon for just a bit more tartness-- ohhh that wafer crumble!! Omigosh omigosh, ladyfingers with a dip of blue mountain espresso!!"

Lunata is going to be embarrassed in roughly one hour. For now, she's... lovin' all of this.

Ge Ramda looks towards Cyre and kinda goes 'eeeh...?' A little bit. 

DG: Lunata Croze has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Lulu Parfait (Lunata Croze) served with Princess Frappé (Alisha Diphda).

<Pose Tracker> Rose has posed.

"Wow! Really? I'd love to meet her sometime, she sounds awesome!" Rose had only gotten to deal with some of the staff at the Saloon, but not its apparently legendary figure. Now she feels a bit bad about that! Or maybe it's... all the food catching up to her. It MIGHT just be the food, really.

Luckily, it's time for dessert. Unluckily, it's time for dessert. Rose helped design this one personally. She regrets it now.

"That's not death! It's pure sure, the sugar of sugars! Imagine if there was a prophecy about the one true bag of sugar rising above the others to save the world, and that's the quality of the stuff in there!" Rose says, maybe exaggerating a bit. Maybe. Probably not.

Rose is, by the way, that dense.

Maybe it's the fact she's not looking closely enough. Or the lack of whiskers. Cats have whiskers, Cyre doesn't. THEREFORE, he can't be a cat. Or cat-person. Cat-people have whiskers! ... sometimes. Rose has not met many. That might be the problem.

"What? Sorry, is it impolite to ask about that?... do you like pettings, can I like, headpat you?" Cyre, just... just give up and let her. You don't know what you're dealing with here.

Time to start tackling the dessert.

Rose takes a spoonful out of the parfait, like she's been eating ice dessert her entire life! She's a pro, she's got this! ... is what she'd like to say.

She's actually struggling to get very much of it in and that second bite might be torture. Is that way she's finding refuge in poking at Cyre so much? To draw attention away from the fact she is critically full? 

DG: Rose has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Lulu Parfait (Lunata Croze) served with Princess Frappé (Alisha Diphda).
DG: You have overcome the dungeon's trials! This run is a success!
DG: The party led by Lunata Croze has successfully explored The Tournament Globe!

====================<* CHALLENGE - Ticket to Suffering *>=====================
|Type: Discovery   |Dungeon Ability: Conclusion|Challenge Rating: 1          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 "TIME!"                                                                       
                                                                               
 As you drink the last of the frappé to wash down the pure sugar of the        
 parfait, you and your team realize... you have conquered the Tournament       
 Globe.                                                                        
                                                                               
 For your trouble, you are given... tickets. Redeemable tickets. For what,     
 you might ask? For more suffering! That's right, for a limited time only      
 these tickets will give you access to the Saucery Globe (MRE ver.), so you    
 can enjoy the infinite flavors of the Saucery Globe on the go*!               
                                                                               
 * Stomachache medicine sold separately.                                       
=Dungeon Conditions: Treasure=================================================

<Pose Tracker> Shalune Amira has posed.

"L-Lunie?!" blurts Shalune as her path towards the parfait is suddenly blocked; her eyebrows rocket open as she realizes the source of the high-pitched squeak, jostled back by the small waitress rather than the large lich.

"--wah, Lunie broke!" she adds, not really knowing what else to say; somehow her cheeks start to burn at the sight of her childhood friend going full 'kyaa' over the dessert, before she catches herself and puffs up her cheeks. "W-well-- I won't be beaten! Lunie, move over and give me some--"

Between them, they assault the final challenge of the Saucery Globe (Tournament Edition) - Shalune and Rose attacking with forks, the shaman desperately trying to relieve some of the intimidating pressure and atmosphere around it, and Neriah--

"--I-I don't want it to go to my thighs! I'm pretty happy with my shape already!" Shalune whines in return, looking down at her stomach as if she's already started to expand. It is a pretty good shape, all told... ... and fortunately, no-one paid the DC artists to make dynamic models, so perhaps she'll get to keep it a while yet.

It takes time, the cloying sweetness nearly overwhelming - but at the end of it, somehow and improbably, Shalune sets her fork down. Next to her, Lunata is still blissed out; around them, the table looks like one of her bombs hit it. Perhaps it did, at some point, just to blast away the last of the macaroni crust.

The mechanic-waitress is tired. She needs a nap. But this was a performance review - ostensibly - and she's at least got to do a proper job of it. She smile is strained, even for her, but it is there. "Please, um-- please come again... to the Starfall Saloon."

And then she wilts. "Uuu, just roll me home..." 

<Pose Tracker> Lunata Croze has posed.

Lunata can have a Cecilia Moment (tm) when she really wants, and by the time she sets her dessert fork down onto an empty platter, she's wiping her mouth as if nothing ever happened, bubbly notes coming out of her head. "Mm mm... oh, mm that was so tashtyyy I could go for seconds..."

But... where did all the sugar, the calories, the carbs go?

One may notice Ge Ramda slowly crumbling into spectral dust as a wave of pink washes over it. 'Goaaaa--...'

Ge Ramda is next seen up in the skies as a translucent figure giving a skeletal thumbs up amongst the clouds.

A nearby trio of Drifters salutes up to it. 

<Pose Tracker> Neriah Parringer has posed.

"I don't know, I wouldn't... hng... I wouldn't mind having thighs like Alisha's. She... she really makes it work," Neriah opines without a hint of shame.

She downs the last of the sweet dessert before flopping back in her chair, pressing both hands to her stomach. She hasn't quite blown up like a balloon, but she feels like it. Moaning thinly, she sprawls out on the next chair over, propping her legs over the back of it and rubbing her belly with a wince.

"Luniiiiies, I have a tummyache," she whines. 

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

Cyre is... Cyre is face-down in a pile of whipped cream.

"Thick thighs," he says from around a fluffy mound of sweet goodness. "Are a sign that the gods... love us all...!"

He's going to regret this.

He's going to regret all of this.

But not... Not that. Never will he regret being a member of the Thighs Faction...! 

<Pose Tracker> Rose has posed.

To say Rose flops down onto the table is to slightly undersell how hard she just crashes her face into it. She weakly mumbles something like: "Ahahaha... totally worth it... suck it, Eguille, creepy stalker ghost, I wiiiiiin," but this is clearly the talk of a delusional death's row inmate.

She's lucky that she lives a lifestyle that'll let her burn this off in a couple of days. The pain may never fade though. A hand raises, despite all this, and reaches towards Cyre's head.

Patpatpat.

"Yeeeeeah, double wiiiiin...!"

She doesn't have enough energy to roll herself back to her booth, much less Shalune. She's still unsure if working on this was a good idea or a catastrophe, but since it left a pile of corpses, we'll go with rousing success for now. 

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

This was a terror Jacqueline had not seen in ages. Nothing could come between Lunata and her sweets. It seemed that not even Ge Ramda was an exception to this.

She had a feeling this was going to happen.

...But, eventually, when all was said and done...

The had emerged victorious. She was surprised. She didn't think it was possible...but they had actually done it!

Jacqueline stands from her chair, applauding.

"Well done, everybody! You did it! I knew you could!" She says, smiling brightly.

"As our first challengers, you're also entitled to a special welcoming prize, in addition to what you've already won..." She says. She stands up from her chair, then removes a box that had been concealed beneath her chair. She walks over to their table and sets the box in the closest available space.

And inside...

Enough potion-based digestives for the whole group. They'd...probably need them. Especially if they had the courage(or perhaps the outright insanity) to redeem and use their real prize.

"We all look forward to your next challenge...and I hope you enjoying participating in the Saucery Globe home game~!"

In helping coordinate this...had Jacqueline been infected by whatever madness had spawned it as well...? 

<Pose Tracker> Shalune Amira has posed.

Shalune has lowered herself to the table, a blob hidden beneath pink-shaped hair. For once, her enthuisasm seems a little dented, as she glances to Lunata's shining, blissed-out moment and then across the table as Rose adopts much the same posture. When Jacqueline's voice chimes out, she sighs slightly. "Ja~ay... you're kind of mean today, uuu..." she burbles, then slowly slides beneat the line of the table.

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