2017-07-16: Vulnerable

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  • Log: Vulnerable
  • Cast: Loren Voss, Lily Keil
  • Where: Gounon
  • Date: July 16th 2017
  • Summary: In Gounon after his expedition into the Temple of Rejection, Loren has a chance encounter with Lily. Something unexpected happens.

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

Nothing but sunny skies in Gounon today. There are few clouds and the birds are singing happily in the apple trees. Even the scent in the air is pleasant and redolent with apples. Here -- as much as in any of the rare few verdant pockets of Ignas that exist -- one could forget the fact that Filgaia is very busily dying.

The official story is -- as far as anyone in Gounon would know -- that the medical student 'Thomas Blackwell' had gone out to look at the shrine and had met with some misadventure. Not enough to cause serious injury (he must have been lucky) but enough that the young man still bears signs of his folly: bandages around his head and one arm in a sling.

He could have healed them if he'd wanted, and truth be told, the arm injury is incredibly minor. But he had thought -- once extraction of the automaton was complete -- that it would be a good idea to show his face in town afterwards and evade any suspicion. ...Particularly after the looks he'd gotten from 'Ethius' within the temple.

So. The totally normal medical student is currently seated on a bench in one of the open plazas in the apple wine town, staring up at the sky and with an apparently half-read book -- spine bent and everything -- lying pages down beside him.

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Lily's response to the sunny skies are to look up into endless blue with a frown, as if personally offended by the sheer brightness. Oh, she hears the happy birds, smells the pleasant scents. There is something special in this place.

But Lily Keil is not here for warm nature, so different from most of her home. She is here to follow up on leads. She's finally well enough to risk combat, she thinks, though she intends to avoid it. She is no longer so heavily bandaged; her hands are free and gloved, her neck is bare. She wears black and white today, with black for her gloves and boots, black for her skirt, white for her button-up, and black for a vest beneath her black jacket. A white scarf takes the place of a tie. Her earrings glint in the light, long and dangling.

But there is the sign of bulk about her hips that suggests some wounds are not fully healed.

She turns the corner of another few trees and her boots click against the bricks. She is silent for a moment. Then...

"How sad, Blackwell, that you got yourself hurt. After all your advice."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

This is the sort of infiltration that he could be more accustomed to. Gounon is quiet and peaceful in exactly the way that Lacour currently isn't. Sometimes not everything is terrible, down on the surface.

It also might help that currently his job entails nothing but pretending to be an injured student, idle by necessity.

...Though perhaps his estimation of the day thus far might change.

(or perhaps not)

As if in irritation, the medical officer closes his eyes.

"...Don't you have anything better to do?" he says at some length, before finally sitting upright to look at her. "Like a doctor to annoy?"

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Lily, on the other hand, find that this amount of peace makes her restless. Lacour had energy, edges, and while it also had people, it had things. Gounon is open; it's pretty... And she does enjoy the quiet. But still...

Well, it makes her Malevolence easier to deal with.

"Yes," Lily answers Loren, just before she sits down next to him to bother him after having stayed standing. "No doctors this time. I could likely get something to eat. But I'm deciding whether I like these orchards. They're very vulnerable."

A beat, "And you and I have things to talk about. Unless your head wound is too much." She does not actually care about the head wound. She does however say, "I could look you over, though. I can do more than most doctors."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

Frankly, he's just happy to have a few days where he's more or less left alone while he plays his part. Besides, there's always the sympathy angle -- useful for listening in on local chatter and rumors.

Right now, though, there's Lily to deal with.

He snatches up his book from the bench as she decides to sit without even asking. If she looks at the spine, it says it's treatise on hematology, some dry and dusty book no doubt part of his studies.

Reviewing the extent to which Lamb medicine lags has been useful.

"...Very vunerable?" he finally says, rousing from an apparently annoyed silence.

He glances away. "...Hmph. I should have figured. Fine," he says, straightening. "Here's as good as anywhere."

No one else is here.

"...I'll pass. Whatever you think you can do that I can't..." He shakes his head.

...'Do more than most doctors', is it.

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

There sure is Lily to deal with. Her eyes flick down to the spine of Loren's book, and back up to Loren himself, through each snatching movement and annoyed look.

There's a shrug at his question, "Vulnerable. Hard to see around you, exposed on all sides, little decent cover. If someone attacked us we'd be sitting here ready to be shot." She says it without condescension, but darkly and a little dourly.

"It's isolated at least. Not ideal, but I doubt I'm going to be near you somewhere better."

Loren says he'll pass, and Lily shrugs her shoulders. "Suit yourself. I don't like seeing people suffer. What medic does?"

"So, what we share. Do you have a family history?"

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

Lily explains exactly what she finds so 'vulnerable' about this place.

Loren glances over at her, giving her a look that could be best translated as 'are you for real'?

Yes, he's a paranoid person himself, but he would define his paranoia as completely justified and practical, particularly given certain social and professional hierarchies. Imagining that enemies could be stalking you out to an orchard, though...

How absurd.

He shakes his head.

"...I'd hope not."

Apparently, no love is lost between her and 'Thomas'.

"Perhaps you should have more concern for your medic, then." It's still a sore spot, it seems.

He gazes over at her, a touch thoughtfully, a touch quizzically. "What do you mean, 'have a family history'? Other relatives with this power? No."

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Loren gives her that look and Lily looks back, entirely calm, entirely casual about it; his apparent disbelief doesn't really faze her. But she has reasons to be paranoid herself, some of them specific and some of them...

You can learn things, in war. Especially when things don't go well. When it results in sticking your hands in your friends to try to keep them in the land of the living.

No love is lost at all. She rolls her eyes in fact, leaning back in her seat to look upward or a moment. But at what he says...

"Fair enough," she answers about her medic. "It was irresponsible of me."

Wait, what?

"That's exactly what I mean," Lily explains. "I don't know whether it's hereditary at all, or in general what the trigger for these abilities is. I don't even know if I'm properly human. You either, for that matter. I can't ask my birth parents; I was separated from them younger than I can remember."

"I need more data. When did you start learning to use your magic? Not training necessarily, but when you started showing it. I was... Maybe five? Maybe younger. It's been since before I know."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

'Thomas' lifts an eyebrow, as if to question whether the woman he's speaking to is really Lily Keil and not some imposter. Really, an apology?

It doesn't precisely make him want to forgive her right there and then. He looks away, turning his attention towards the sky in a faintly irritated fashion as if he'd rather focus there instead.

Until she asks about family.

It does in fact typically run down family lines if not always manifesting itself usefully -- not that she'd know this and not that he'd tell her -- though sports are known, as with any other inherited trait. Hence the rare ether-users on the surface, he gathers.

"So that's what you're after. You want to know why you have this power?" If he didn't have an arm in a sling, he might have crossed his arms over his chest, from the way he settles back. "...So what do you even think you'll learn if you know why? If I were you, Keil, I'd just forget about it. Focus on doing something more useful, like not getting killed. Trust me, the 'getting killed' part's easy for people like us."

Put up a defense, but show a weakness. Then let them come to you. It's true in chess and it's true with people, too, he's finding.

Still, he blinks in surprise when she admits something to him.

Hers manifested that young? In surface-dweller stock at that? It's exceedingly rare that ether ability manifests before the talent for it's detected by testing.

In Solaris, at least.

"...I don't remember. ...Eight, nine, I guess. Young enough, but not as young as you."

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Lily shrugs at Loren's raised eyebrow, saying nothing about it. What is there that's useful to say? She works on forgetting it for the moment. She has other questions regardless. Like family.

Loren gets at what she's asking, and Lily narrows her eyes at him. He suggests that she forget it. He has the body language for it. It almost sounds concerned, but Lily lets a breath out through her teeth, shaking her head. She considers what to say, but finishes talking in the meantime, something she doesn't know is significant, despite it being significant to her for another reason.

"...All right then," Lily says to Loren's answer. "I don't have enough data points for that to mean much of anything, but it apparently varies... If we are really the same. However..."

"Look, Blackwell. What you say is nice. And it's true, I have higher priorities right now than learning the truth. But I've known since I was a tiny girl that people would hunt me for the power that I have. It's not new to me. Even telling you is a risk, but you already know."

"...But you don't understand. You know where you come from, where your family is. I don't. I never have. I have no idea where I come from other than somewhere Kislev forces can reach, and even then I could've travelled to get there. So yes, I'm going to try to learn the truth. I'll learn what I am. I'll learn why I've been different and set apart from everyone for my entire life. So keep in mind that you're not me."

"...Have you been attacked before? Or known others who were? Have you known others?"

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

"And what if the truth's not something you like? What do you plan to do about it then?" he asks, as she insists that even so she wants to know, because she wants to understand where she came from.

Truth is ideal. But Truth is brutal, merciless, and unrelenting, leaving most broken and strewn carelessly in her wake.

It's better, then, that some things remain unsaid. Some facts left on the cutting-room floor of history.

Though she is right about that part of it -- for better or for worse, he does know where he comes from.

In the end, he shakes his head. "You're right. You're not me. ...Hmph. Suit yourself. It's your own neck, Keil." He shrugs his shoulders as if to push the whole subject aside.

Blue eyes look at her sidelong then. "...I had a close call back home," 'Thomas' says at length, gazing up again towards the sky. "I imagine if you've survived this long you know all about the rumors. Sometimes people just disappear. I'm in no haste to find out where they go."

Probably because he already knows.

Loren briefly lapses into silence again. "...Since coming out this way? No. But I knew a guy who vanished. It's part of the reason I decided to 'vanish' myself."

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

"That depends on what the truth is," Lily says. "I can't know until I see it what I'll do. But I'm prepared for it to be unpleasant. Do you think I haven't imagined a hundred things it could be?"

Lily Keil is accustomed to hiding the truth. She's lied all her life, to everyone around her, and the fact that she's become more honest may be what gets her killed one of these days, more likely than anything else. Nevertheless...

"It's damned strange that you waver between concern and... Whatever else. Whatever, it's not my problem. But bear in mind I've spent time at war. I know survival. I know all about survival."

A close call. Lily is quiet. "Yes, I've heard them. My parents taught them to me. And I've heard about who it is that does the hunting for people like me. ...The first people who used magic that was similar to mine where I could see it."

Lily doesn't voice them... Yet. Not who they are.

"Mm. So you've met others. I think I know where they go, too, but I know almost nothing about that, or the details. I haven't sought these people out to ask." A pause. "But it's fair enough to vanish. I may again, when I accomplish my mission."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

Briefly, his gaze diverts to his lap. "In my experience," he says, a moment after considering what she's just said, "It usually is. And if you think you're ready, you're either an idiot or a fool."

He may be somewhat bitter, about something. It is a mystery.

He glances her way. "Why do you care what I sound like?" he says, a moment later, punctuating the statement with a slight shrug. "We're supposed to be enemies, aren't we? Or does national pride suddenly not matter? ...But if I'm being honest, I don't care about that either."

Keep her at bay. Feint. Redirect. He's suddenly very grateful for the assistance Cultural gave him after he arrived, as well as the sleepless nights he spent catching up.

"Good for you," 'Thomas' says, a touch flatly. "But if you didn't, I'd almost worry about you. The sooner people like us learn, the better."

Maybe she even has a name. It seems possible, these days; with them operating openly, it's to be expected.

"Seeking them out?" Loren shakes his head. "That's assuming you can even find other people like us. Most of us have enough sense in their head to keep quiet." 'Unlike you' is the implication here.

And then she mentions her mission. "...What mission?"

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

"I already know I'm a fool," Lily answers simply. There's no emotion in her voice as she says it, calm and even with a look that's dull, golden eyes staring into him. She says nothing about his bitterness. She shows some of her own, but she processes it... differently.

"I betayed Kislev, haven't you heard?" Lily asks. "They don't want me there except for the firing squad, and whatever else they'd settle." A shake of her head. "Of course you don't care. Ass. But it's foolish for me to keep pride in a nation that wants me dead." That sounds bitter, but not bitter in roiling anger; it's quieter.

"Whatever. If people learn or not, most aren't especially looking for it. But it galls me to concern myself with those... meddling busybodies. It isn't their war."

"Not other people like us," she says. "Gebler. Solaris. Did you know that Kislev thinks I'm a Gebler spy? Because of my abilities."

Unlike her. Sure. Lily shakes her head. "I'm a soldier. When I hide, it's to find a place to strike, to recover myself to press onward or around to the next mission."

Lily pauses. "...I'm not prepared to share that with you," she says simply. "It's too dangerous for you anyway. But there's something I have to do. Something relating to the dead who I owe."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

To that, he just lifts an eyebrow again. "Well, good. They say that self-recognition is the first step." There's no mistaking his tone, of course.

Even in this he's rather unkind.

"You seemed rather upset the one time we talked about it," 'Thomas' says, nice way of saying that he was blatantly mocking her nation and the war as a whole. "You'll have to excuse me if I assumed otherwise." He pauses, as if considering his words. "You're right, though. I don't. I left Aveh; none of this has anything to do with me anymore."

None of this entire conflict has anything to do with him, except on the most professional of levels.

He pushes his glasses up his nose a touch as she goes on about 'those meddling busybodies'. Not their war, was it...

"...Is that who you meant." His gaze fixes on her again. Lingers there.

And then he makes a sound that almost could be a laugh. "...A Gebler spy. That they raised, since young childhood. ...Is your nation run by imbeciles?"

To hide, to find a place to strike from, to attack, to retreat and recover. An accurate way of summarizing things, he'd say. One mission to to next, though if she's no longer with the military, what does she mean by 'mission'?

He looks at her. He looks at her, once again for a long drawn out moment, as if attempting to ascertain the contents of her heart.

And then Loren nods and settles back again, gaze shifting to one of the trees immediately across from them both.

"...Survivor's guilt. I wouldn't have thought you the type, Keil. So, how many died?"

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

This amount of shit-giving is unkind, yes, but it's also comfortable in its own way; the prickly way Loren talks is soothing to Lily's nerves, does something about the too-great quiet of this lovely orchard.

"I was," Lily answers. "But misplaced feelings can be a liability at times like this. I'm not saying I don't concern myself with Kislev at all." A pause. "I'm not going to forgive you because that's a stupid thing to forget. You're still obnoxious, Blackwell. I just don't care to deck you for it right now."

Is that who she meant. She looks at Loren. "Yes." No nod, no other movement, just that. Then a shrug. "My parents would know otherwise, unless Gebler got to me in secret on the front lines. It doesn't matter anyway; after treason, any other charge is just making me more exciting to catch, a bigger deal when they parade me through the streets."

It certainly sounds cynical, though.

Loren can look all he wants; Lily reveals very little to look at her face, almost blank except for a general unpleasantness. Survivor's guilt. Her lips twitch. "...Maybe so," she says, tightly, shaking her head and closing her eyes.

"Twelve. All at once. Even using my magic, I couldn't protect them or bring them back. I burned myself out trying to cast, did everything I could. ...And not a thing. I probably only even lived before it wasn't after me, or I got lucky."

She shakes her head again. "Twelve. Our entire squad, except for us. I was second-in-command... It was my responsibility." She trails off. "...So maybe you're right. I remember their faces. The positions of each body... The injuries on each. I..." This really does seem to get to her, her gloved hands shaking. "I didn't... intend to talk about this," she says, strained. "Let's move on."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

To that, he just makes a vaguely annoyed noise, his gaze departing her entirely. "Well, good. I'm not interested in getting friendly with you, Keil. Even if we do have something in common."

This comment is, maybe unsurprisingly given current circumstances, honest.

She'd deck him? "...What a violent woman," he mutters, glancing over at some of the trees again.

"So it's just a lie they're telling for the sake of appearances... typical," he comments, shaking his head. "Too bad for you, I suppose."

Isn't that how it usually goes? He's not blind to how people really operate, the sort of deals that really decide things behind the scenes. Say one thing, turn around and do another, where no one can see it. It was how the world worked, and there's little that can be done to change it, no matter how you might hate it.

It worked, after all. Even he can't deny that.

Cynicism might just be the name of the game over here.

It had just been a guess, based on her comment, how she's acting. And it's such a cliche, isn't it -- the one who comes back alive is the one who feels like they should have died.

He just happened to guess right this time.

Twelve.

He blinks, as if in surprise. The entire squad, was it...

...Ugh.

He touches his free hand to his forehead as she recalls the scenario out loud. "..."

He's not good at sympathy. He's not even good at faking sympathy.

Particularly not in the strange mood that settles over him as she talks.

Silence drags out, endures on his end.

Thus, at length: "...Are you planning to get revenge on whatever did it?" He's gathered that it might not be a 'person' from her words. Some monster, probably, above and beyond their capacity. It happens. "...Fine. I don't want to talk about it, either."

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

"Fine, Blackwell. I'm not in the mood anyway."

Lily moves to try to ignore it, and rolls her eyes at Loren's muttering. "Violence has done well for me for a good portion of my life. It sure tends to get overtalkative boys to back off if all else fails."

She does say boy; to her, Loren looks young. She feels older than she is in a lot of ways. "Too bad for me," she agrees. "I could be wrong... But I know how Kislev operates. You don't remain a military power by being kind to those who cross you."

Cynicism. It's just how they both are. But Lreon's guess turns out to be right, and Lily voices it, still finding her hands shaking and her eyes closed as she tries to get herself out of that memory, tries to pull herself away from bodies and a stalking creature and Leon...

Loren asks. "I'm going to kill it," Lily says. "Destroy it. Obliterate it. Whatever. That's the other reason I need to understand my power. I need to become stronger. I need it."

Her hand is a fist, and Loren says.... Ah, right. "Good," she says. I didn't mean to bring it up. I hate... I hate getting stuck in it. I can heal, but I can't heal memory." She lets out a breath, and starts to stand, very carefully.

"Enjoy your book, Blackwell. Or don't. I don't care. I'm leaving anyway. We'll finish the rest of this conversation some other time."

One arm wrapped around her body to hold the other, one hand down at her side, Lily forces her posture straight and walks stiffly away.

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

His eyes narrow a touch. 'Boy'? "And I'm sure you're quite popular, with that sort of attitude," he replies, once again giving the impression that he'd fold his arms if he was in any way able to do so with these injuries.

He never did say what happened, but if Lily asks around Gounon she'll definitely find out why. He's been very deliberately talking about his 'mistake'.

Here, he has nothing to say to her, just exhales a breath and shakes his head. Too bad for her. Hopefully she won't get killed first, it would be a hassle to try and retrieve the corpse, assuming command even thinks it would be worth pursuing as things stand.

And to be fair, you don't remain any sort of power in any sort of position by being kind to those who cross you.

Destroy it, obliterate it...

So that's the reason. She wants to get stronger so she can crush anything in her way.

Loren can at once say he understands and does not understand.

In silence, his gaze slips downwards, lingering on her clenched fist. That much wrath...

Yes, that's exactly why he can understand it -- they were taught all about that. That's why people like her are dangerous. These surface-dwellers... they only think to gather in power and then use it only to destroy, never even thinking about the rest of the world.

"...Don't push yourself." From another person it might be meant kindly. While he's not exactly being cruel, here, she won't find much sympathy from the prickly 'medical student'. "The only way I know how to heal memories is by forgetting them. Maybe some cranial trauma..." He shrugs, shaking his head. "The cure is worse than the disease, though."

And then she stands. She's leaving? ...Must have gotten to her.

His gaze flickers up to her. "Maybe. We'll see if we cross paths again. Assuming you don't get yourself killed."

He doesn't say goodbye. Rather, he reopens his book one-handedly, paging through to find where he had left off.