2017-09-24: The Mention of Fear
- Log: The Mention of Fear
- Cast: Riesenlied, Xantia
- Where: Wayside Village
- Date: 24th September 2017
- Summary: A whirlwind of energy barges into Wayside's dojo! Riesenlied goes to investigate...
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia is not generally the kind of person to let people know she's going to be visiting in advance. She just kind of... shows up. After which her presence tends to be noticable in short order. As is the case today, in Wayside.
Riesenlied could follow any of the following clues: the sounds of splintering wood and a loud crash, guards rushing in a particular direction, or shouts of 'a crazy red-haired Drifter' purported to be trashing the dojo - which is in the direction that is suddenly the center of attention. Or, if all else fails, someone may follow up on said Drifter's claims that she's friends with Riesenlied. Because that's a thing Xantia tends to decide rather quickly.
The accusations levied are not wrong, per se, as anybody looking at the dojo could clearly see the various smashed and missing training dummies outside, as well as the dummy-shaped hole in the building itself. Xantia's only defense: "But I keep telling you, I was just training! Isn't that what those are for?" And completely failing to realize that maybe you're not supposed to use your full strength on these things.
Still, once it became evident that she was in trouble for this, she didn't try to fight any of the Metal Demons who had objections that she failed to understand, or try to get away. She just asked to get her 'friend', Riesenlied. Surely she'll be able to make sense of all this, right?
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
The inhabitants of Wayside are particularly... curious, Xantia would notice -- she's seen them before in Old Petra, and they're not the 'norm' by Metal Demon standards. Many of them are humanoid, but they're... disadvantaged in ways -- one person has accordion tubing for legs, another looks like he's replaced his chest with an ammo crate... and there's a lady walking around somewhere with a refrigerator for a torso and a pair of binoculars for eyes.
By the time Riesenlied arrives, she peeks into the building as she stammers, "Ah--" she pauses, then flags some of the guards away. "Miss Xantia? Goodness, what a mess..."
The winged woman's had better days since Xantia saw her at the Temple -- it looks like she's got more growths along her left arm and leg, which is shrouded in chitinous, draconic scales -- the same extends at her neck and cheek.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia, for her part, cheerfully greets Riesenlied with a wave of her hand. "Hiii, Riese!" Only to immediately frown and object, "Why're you calling me 'miss', friends aren't supposed to do that!" They're supposed to shorten each other's names, apparently. She sure is easy-going, considering that they were fighting last time they saw each other. Not very judgemental in general, really, having not remarked on or even stared at the unusual inhabitants at all, in fact giving friendly waves and smiles all around. Well, until this happened.
Xantia looks around at the 'mess', seeming a little confused, but meaning with pride soon enough. "They broke real easily!" That means she wins, right? She's pretty sure that's how this works. Which is why her confusion returns in short order. "Why's everyone mad at me? I did good, right?"
Without missing a beat, she immediately asks another question: "Are you okay?" She doesn't really know the first thing about Metal Demon physiology, but somehow... somehow she can just tell that that there's something sub-optimal going on.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied bobs her head once and says, "The training dummies are broken... not everyone is as strong as you, Xantia," with a patient smile. "But now they can't use it. And the dojo is for everyone... so please be more careful, in the future?"
She laces her hands together and looks towards herself, sighing quietly. "I'm fine for now, yes." She doesn't sound like she particularly understands what's happening to herself as well.
"I'm glad you're all right, after what happened at the Temple, Xantia."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia blinks blankly. "Oh. I thought you had a whole bunch of them, and you just put down new ones after breaking them. Or... or magic?" She clearly hadn't put too much thought into how these things are replaced. But now that she has, she lowers her head a bit. "Sorry, I didn't mean to cause trouble." It's just a passive skill, with a very high proc rate.
However, since Riesenlied isn't yelling at her for this, nor claiming to not be okay, she sees no reason to stay down about this for very long. Her cheerful smile is back in short order, nodding enthusiastically to confirm, "Yeah, I'm just fine! I found Fei and the others, and now I'm friends with Noua Shax!" It may feel like she skipped a few steps in her explanation of events, but that's normal operating procedure where it comes to Xantia.
At least she volunteers some information about what she's actually doing here, looking off to the side for a moment. "I hope I can find out something about my past around here... it's where they found me, and I kind of forgot to ask everything I should've asked about." Not about to make that mistake again, she returns her attention to Riesenlied, and proceeds to ask, "You haven't heard anything about me, have you?"
Does Riesenlied even know about her amnesia? The thought doesn't occur to Xantia. She just sort of starts saying things, without taking into account how much sense they're going to make to others.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"It's all right, you clearly didn't mean it," Riesenlied warmly expresses. "We don't have much here in Wayside, so we tend to need to need to come by with whatever we have." It'd be nice to have magical training dummies, but all they have are... well, just what they have.
There's a look of surprise from Riesenlied as she expresses, "Oh, you went with Mister Fei..." she nods, encouraged. "Noua Shax is a... Guardian, isn't he?" Her lips purse for a moment, and she chuckles very softly. "It seems like we were all visited by them in the Temple."
She places her hand to a cheek to say, "Your past, Xantia...? Do you not recall anything?" She tries to make sense of what Xantia is speaking to her, seeing if she can puzzle out some details...
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
All things considered, Xantia should know very well what it's like to not have very much. But on the scale of a whole village, that's well beyond her frame of reference. She pretty much just figured that a whole village must have a lot of stuff. It's something to ponder... later, as she's pretty distracted from that topic right now.
"Yeah! I was going to follow Fei anyway, so I went with the Yggdrasil!" Beats having to follow a sandship on foot! Xantia's actions are always logical and she's definitely always completely sure what she's getting into. She nods again to confirm Noua Shax's identity, only getting more enthusiastic. "He said he'd help me," sort of, "So I'll help him too, if I can!" Xantia's world is a pretty simple one, if that wasn't obvious already.
But where it comes to one topic, even Xantia's seemingly eternally high spirits damper a little. Despite her being the one who brought it up, it's clearly not an easy subject for her, looking pensive a moment before she nods again, the gesture and her voice far calmer than before. "I don't remember anything that happened before this year. I've been looking, but... so far, I haven't found anybody who knows anything about my past."
Then suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, "Hey, Riese... that man in the red Gear. Who was that?" It's true that Xantia, in her enthusiasm, tends to jump from topic to topic a lot. But she's calm right now... possibly, this is somehow related.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied can't help but smile, the way Xantia's spirit just can't seem to be dampened in the slightest. Wayside could use more people like her -- spirits could be dour sometimes, after all, with all the risks and threats that surround them. Kislev. Aveh and Gebler. The Wels that surround the abandoned villages around them...
But even then, this was their place, and they would stand by it any day.
"I see... that can't be easy at all..." Riesenlied muses with a concerned brow, but blinks softly as she hears her ask about the man in the red Gear.
"He called himself... 'Id'." She pauses, biting her lip. "At that time, when our village was under siege... I communed with him, mentally..." A hesitant pause. "I first met him in Garlyle, a kingdom to the far east where I am from. He... decimated it overnight... I chased him to Ignas to try to prevent him from destroying anything else--"
A hesitant pause, as she smiles sadly. "... and invited his wrath personally, it seems..."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Eternal optimism is something that Xantia can always be counted on. Even when she doesn't know how, she always maintains faith that things will work out, somehow. It's no wonder she always seems to run straight at dangerous situations. No reason to see this as unwise, when you're that sure everything will be just fine in the end.
It's pretty much essential to getting by, given her condition. She may seem unconcerned most of the time, but it's true - knowing this little about herself is not easy at all. But it wouldn't help anything to get stuck worrying about it. "It'll be alright! I just have to keep looking, that's all!" Said just as much to reassure herself as Riesenlied.
She's quite attentive when the subject turns to the Red Man, which is all she really knew him as, finally learning a name. "Id..." She frowns deeply, and crosses her arms as she listens, looking as if she's in thought. In truth, it's more accurate to say that she's actively trying to dig something up from her memories. "Id..." she repeats the name after Riesenlied finishes speaking, shortly after letting out a sigh, and shaking her head.
"Nothing. I thought maybe his name would make me remember something, but I guess not." As obviously disappointing as this is, she moves on quickly enough, musing, "So you've known him for a while... but not me." Despite realizing it's futile, she still finds herself pausing to wonder what this could mean, casting her gaze to the sky. Was she wrong? Or is there some other reason?
When she looks back to Riesenlied, she explains further. Or tries to. "When he showed up, I..." Already she's not sure how to finish that sentence. But eventually she settles on, "I just felt like I had to go to him. To... fight him, maybe?" It's hard to be sure even of that much, which clearly bothers her greatly. Is there a connection, or not?
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"Did something about him make you think he might know...?" Riesenlied tries asking. There's a quiet 'mmm', before she thinks on that topic a little further. "I'm not a stranger to unexplainable urges myself... I am often drawn by voices and sensations deep within the soil, to the Ruins."
There's a gentle, sad smile as she says, "I'm still looking for him. If I ever hear anything, I will let you know. And you'll always be welcome here at Wayside, of course..."
She bobs her head. "If you don't mind... what is your earliest waking memory, then? I recall meeting you a while back when those Black Ties were attacking Tindus Town, but that must have been before that?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia's brow creases further, as she's forced to conclude, "...no. I want to ask, but... I don't think he knows anything about me, either." That's just the feeling she got. Which just makes the whole thing weirder. She's generally okay with not understanding everything, but where it comes to things potentially related to her lost memory, it's infuriating to not be sure.
Although... she immediately latches onto Riese's following assertion regarding unexplainable urges. "Really? That's normal?" If that's the case, then maybe she doesn't have to worry about it so much! If possible. It remains difficult not to wonder 'why'.
Not interpreting Riesenlied's smile as anything but encouraging, Xantia returns it readily. "Really? Thanks! Anything you hear could help! In return... I could help you fight him!" She tends to enjoy fighting in general, but that prospect in particular remains uncommonly exciting. She must be one of the very few who'd happily volunteer to try taking on Id in a fist fight. And fewer still who threw a punch at him and still have all their limbs...
Her enthusiasm solidly returned, she nods several times to confirm her first meeting with Riese. For someone suffering from amnesia, thinking back to things that you are able to remember can be cause for joy in itself. "I remember that! You came to help fight them, and then I saw your wings and you were so pretty!" Well, it's true.
Rather than expound on that further, she quickly bounces on to the topic of her earliest memory. "It's nothing special, nothing like waking up in a Golem's hand or anything, I just woke up in a bed." Awfully specific comparison. "It was in the Baskar Colony..." She trails off, and has a rare moment of looking embarassed. "I... haven't talked to the people who found me collapsed in the desert yet. They're probably mad at me for leaving even though they told me not to."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied knew someone who was eager to take on Id in a fight fight... but she doesn't exactly have all her limbs. Poor Fenrir. She'd have to speak with her sometime.
"I'm sure they'll understand," Riesenlied tries to sound reassuring. "You might not have been ready to hear what they had to say... but now, after a year, you probably feel differently than you did then, don't you?"
She takes a seat as she lets out a quiet, tired-sounding sigh at a nearby bench. "And-- thank you," she blushes as Xantia compliments her wings, as they wiggle gently behind her. "I can't say whether it's normal or not, but... don't we all feel urges from time to time, that propel us forward?"
The Baskar Colony... they wouldn't welcome her here. A pause. "... did you mean... Miss Avril, when you said the Golem's arm?" A chuckle. "She's been here too."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia looks a bit dubious. Is that how it works, you have to be ready to hear things sometimes? She should be more eager than anything to look into leads regarding her memory, but for some reason... "The last time I was there, I stood right outside their door, but I didn't go in. Why didn't I go in?" A question posed solely at herself. It's not like her to hesitate. She can't even explain why she feels so awful now about leaving back then. It made perfect sense at the time. Will they really understand...?
She can't exactly deny urges propelling her forward, though. "I guess so! I thought I was just sort of doing things randomly." For as oblivious as she might seem sometimes, she's perfectly aware that she's often had - and still often has - absolutely no idea what she's doing. And it's true that this hasn't often felt like a bad thing. Now it all makes sense! To her, anyway.
Xantia doesn't look surprised to hear Avril's name pop up. "Yes! We're all hoping to find our memories together!" ...in her mind, for the most part. She's pretty much decided that all amnesiacs should be in this together, and help each other out where possible. The way she made it sound, she may know quite a few of them.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
There's a bashful chuckle from Riesenlied as she admits, "Noeline would be the first to chide me on being tugged in random directions. Sometimes, all we can do is operate on our instincts." It doesn't feel like a bad thing to her, and seeing Xantia, she can tell that the girl also lets her instincts drive her at times -- and it hasn't exactly been bad for her either, now has it?
"I can't answer the questions of why you didn't go in... but if you truly have an appetite to know, then please, don't let that fear stop you," Riesenlied expresses. "I... went to the Temple myself, to speak to a Guardian. I could have easily been killed -- and yet, now..."
She looks at the village surrounding her as she steps out towards the porch of the dojo. "One among them has deigned me to show that we are capable of more than just murder, just hatred. And I don't intend to let him down." Her smile is bigger. "Understanding starts with a will to reach out."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia merely nods several times at this affirmation that she's obviously doing something right by acting on her instincts. A name is mentioned that she doesn't recognize, but it would be pretty hypocritical of her if she questioned this - she mentions names as if everybody knows the same people she does all the time. Which is proven right pretty often. About as often as she runs headlong into danger and comes out just fine. She'll never learn at this rate.
The mention of fear, though... that visibly perplexes her. Fear, is that what this is? What a strange thing to be afraid of. Nothing like Riesenlied's example, she's pretty sure visiting these people will not get her killed. What is she afraid of?
Lack of understanding causes her to focus her response only on Riese's situation. "The Guardians don't like Metal Demons very much, huh?" Tiny bit of an understatement, but at least she's understood that much. She smiles when she hears about the mission given by the Guardians. "That's easy! You're doing lots of other things with this town, right? I'm sure they'll see that. I mean, I thought you were all bad guys too, at first, but that's just some of you, just like with humans." Everything should be a lot simpler than it often is, if you ask Xantia.
After a moment's pause, she steps a bit closer to where Riesenlied is seated, adding, "It'd be best if you didn't have to fight anymore... not when you're hurting yourself doing it." Yes, she noticed that. Not as oblivious as she might seem, indeed.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"... they don't," Riesenlied expresses in confirmation to Xantia. "They're wounded... they harbour the wounds of their battle with my ancestors, from a thousand years ago. They said as much -- they have no eyes or ears into the world. That was why they granted their power to the Drifters..."
She sighs very gently, but nods at Xantia's enthusiasm. "I'll do what I can to prevent a catastrophe. I can see the pain that both the Guardians and my brethren, like Lord Siegfried, have endured... and I want to stop them from going down this destructive path, wherever I can."
Maybe it doesn't have to be too complicated after all. Both sides have good reasons to hate each other... but it needn't be inevitable.
She looks towards Xantia and says, "Thank you, Xantia. I do wish I could stop fighting myself, but... sometimes, there's no choice." She plants her hand to her chest, and chuckles weakly. "I try to not use that which hurts me unless I feel pushed into a corner, at least."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
"A thousand years..." Xantia boggles. More than a thousand times the amount of time that she can remember. She can't even imagine that amount of time. She can only wonder, "How could anything stay the same for that long?" And why would anybody assume that? Questions that she'll never figure out the answer to, so she just shrugs a bit, admitting, "It felt like the Guardians don't really understand humans either. If they can't see, I guess we'll just have to show them!" In the end, everything is still simple, the way she sees it.
As for the other matter... Xantia frowns slightly, urging, "Well then don't use it against me anymore! I don't want to hurt you, or you hurting yourself, you're nice!" That matter too, should be simpler than it is. But Xantia realizes that sometimes there's no choice. Sometimes, she just has to fight whoever is on the other side. And so, "...I hope we don't have to fight on opposite sides anymore, at least," is about the closest thing to a promise that she can make.
Things have gotten rather serious... which Xantia seems to have decided is the perfect time to break things up with a more casual suggestion. "Hey, do you want to go eat something? I'm starving!" Not that this should be any surprise. She always is. "Can we go to that place? What's it called... Vee-four-el-dash-aitch-four-el-el-eh?" That's what it says, isn't it? She wouldn't know how else to pronounce that!
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
There's a bashful look from Riesenlied as she says, "I don't want to fight you anymore either... so I'll try my best," she promises. It may not always be a promise that she can keep, on how peculiar and dangerous their circumstances are, but... she'll try her best. She has to.
"Oh, Valhalla..." she expresses, "That's right, Val should probably have some lunch ready. I'll introduce you to some of the children here as well, they'd probably be very happy to play with you."