2017-10-30: He Can't Be Vash the Stampede!

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<Pose Tracker> Meryl Stryfe has posed.

Every since arriving in November, Meryl and Milly have been searching for the elusive, but dangerous, Vash the Stampede. The rumours surrounding him were getting more and confusing with every person they talked to as it seemed like there were a lot of people that at least believed they had seen him or knew someone that had. All of the speculation and rumours only made things that much harder for the disaster investigators.

Today their search has led them to Wayside Village. It's still early in the afternoon when they arrive but they didn't have too much trouble finding it owing to directions given to them. After talking to Riesenlied and Noeline, Meryl wanted to come check out the town and find out what it's all about.

More importantly to Meryl though was the thought that someone here could possibly know something about Vash. After all, the rumours had spread pretty far across Filgaia. As they dismount from their transportation Meryl shields her eyes with her hands, looking across the area. "Wow. This place seems really different than November huh Milly?"

As they walk across, Meryl looks for any signs of her new acquaintances as she comes to a stop nearby the orphanage. "Hrm. I think this is where they wanted to meet." Before she has to look further, Meryl catches a glimpse of Riesenlied and some of the kids from the orphanage and she makes her way towards them as her partner idly picks up a ball that rolls her way, tossing it gently back to the kids.

"Hi Riesenlied! We made it and..." She holds a few boxes in front of her as Milly chimes in, exclaiming. "...we brought treats!" Inside the boxes are all varieties of donuts. The outside of the box has a sticker with the name "Bernardelli Insurance Society."

<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Meryl and Riesenlied have not met since their initial meeting at November -- when the Metal Demon was under the (admittedly poor) guise of Nazgul al-Rashid, rookie Drifter... but then again, she didn't exactly hide her identity all that well either.

Wayside is a terribly quiet and peaceful village, composed mostly of a ring of caravans around which a great campfire sits. Several buildings have been crafted outside of that lot -- an inn and watering hole called 'V4L-H4LLA' at the 3 o' clock side, and a two-storey building called the 'Wayside Orphanage' at the 10' o clock, just in front of what seems to be a young but growing field of crops around which a large white ARM water purifier sits.

The villagers of Wayside, Meryl and Milly will both note, are... a bit quirky -- they're mostly humanoid, but they're also... damaged. The guards greeting them -- there's one guy with accordion tubing for legs and kinda bobbles as he walks, while the other looks like he's had a shoulderblade replacement with an ammo crate. A lady's walking around with binoculars for eyes and a literal fridge for a torso.

But they seem friendly enough, and it's with cheer that a young chestnut-haired girl -- dressed in a red shirt that reads 'DONUT WORRY, BE HAPPY' with... Vash's face on it -- runs up to Meryl and goes, "Oh, my ball! Thanks miss!" A pause. "Ooh, are those donuts??"

Riesenlied is just behind, seated on a rocking chair with another orphan, an adorable little dark-haired... beastgirl? with little black wings sticking out of her back. "Oh, Miss Meryl!" she waves towards them. "Please, make yourselves comfortable... we have water and fruits if you'd like?"

She seems a bit fragile today, but well enough, considering her other days. A bit more wan and drained than last they saw each other.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

It's only been a few days since Princess Cecilia's 'abduction'- that is, the Seraph Ragnell taking her off to do Cecilia things, rather than bad, bad Shakhan things. It was big, it was violent, and Gwen hopes everything worked out for the better. ... Well, it probably did. Anything's got to be better than being a puppet tied to Shakhan's strings, that's for sure.

What's not as good is Gwen's poor ARM, having deflected a stone pillar falling off it (and, likewise, the more squishy Gwen), is still not quite unbroken just yet. Gwen's done what she's could, which equals out to a good amount of work to keep the thing from at least not randomly jittering around in the middle of polite conversation, but the courier still needs to see an ARMs Meister to get the thing back in decent working order. An ARMs Meister she can trust, anyway. That, or bite the bullet and see her Auntie Frea, possibly getting a bit of flack for trying to, well, take on a stone pillar.

So the ARM only *occasionally* jitters. So Gwen's got on the poncho to cover *that* mess up. Broken ARMs usually don't jitter, but they're usually not attached to a person either. All those electrical signals and nervous system things, Gwen's not sure. All she knows is that she just basically tried to do something close to surgery on herself last night, and the thing wouldn't stop jerking. But it wouldn't be the first time she's had to do such a thing, either. Just a part of life, like cleaning between your toes and not sticking things into your ears.

And that's why Gwen is here dressed in a poncho on top of her usual outfit, having just nudged herself into the party with Meryl and Milly. Sure, they had directions, but Gwen just... insisted.

"Even if there's little to no chance of Vash the Stampede bein' here, it ain't bad t'try, and it's a nice little town!" Gwen explains, at some point. "The inhabitants may seem a little strange, but no stranger than-" Her poncho shifts a bit. "Er, well, no stranger than a lot of things, really." It also means Meryl and Milly are able to seat themselves at the back of Gwen's covered wagon, should they so choose.

"R- Na..." Gwen shuffles through her names, and instead, just waves to Riesenlied as she rides up on Gulliver. "Riesenlied," she finally says, as Meryl exclaims her name in greeting. "Don't have much in the way of treats, but I did bring Gulliver! I bet the kids would really like-" She stalls as she sees the donuts, her stomach beginning to growl.

Then there's the matter of the shirt one of the children have on. Is that... Mr. Balderdash's face? "Hey, Riesenlied, did he show up here at some point?" Gwen vaguely motions to the child's shirt. "Y'know, Mr. Balderdash? Who is not Vash the Stampede." She adds that, for clarification.

<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.

Noeline is at Riesenlied's flank, as she so commonly is; the Metal Demon is back to her blacks and reds, at least temporarily, curled up in a dress a little too lavish for the scenery around them with a small pile of books laid down next to her. By the look of it, she's been making her way through the stack at something of a rapid pace; it makes for a remarkably domestic look, especially with the children around them, even if she looks a little out of place for the scene.

"Miss Stryfe, you decided to come," she notes as she looks up, grinning faintly to herself as she tilts her head in greetings. "Welcome to Wayside Village - such as it is - where we continue to survive against all prior expectations and odds. Unfortunately, I doubt we'll be able to say the same for your gift; I give it perhaps an hour," she adds, then glances at the more upbeat of the two orphans to raise one eyebrow. "Or perhaps half that."

Gwen gets one of those glances as well, and an amused snigger at the sound of her stomach. "Miss-- Whitlock, I think it was? It's been a while, I suppose. I hear Riesenlied manages to find you a great deal more than I do, but they do say no news is good news. Perhaps that makes it balance out?" she wonders with a lazy-cat sort of grin, bringing one hand to her mouth to half-heartedly hide it.

--of course, immediately afterwards her eyebrows shoot up through the roof, as it were. "... I'm sorry, you're suggesting that Vash the Stampede has been here?" she somewhat blurts, then sags with an aggrieved sigh. "How exactly does that rate compared to the Demon of Elru, on the scale?"

<Pose Tracker> Meryl Stryfe has posed.

With the amount of strange things that Meryl has seen lately, the uniqueness of the villagers doesn't seem to overly bother her. She greets them with the same enthusiasm she would anyone else. Should anyone eye the ladies too suspiciously, they both just offer smiles and waves in their direction. Every once in awhile, a certain villager gets a longer than necessary look from Meryl though.

Milly tosses the ball back to the girl as Meryl eyes the childs shirt with suspicion. She nods at the little girls question. "Do you want a donut?" Should the girl want one, Meryl will hand her a donut wrapped in a napkin while idly commenting to Milly, "I hope we brought enough for everyone!"

It isn't until Gwen remarks on the shirt that Meryl is really focused on the childs shirt and the possible answer. The image seems similar to the wanted posters but from her experience, she knows that it could mean very little. Too many discrepancies in the descriptions and Meryl didn't even know anymore if the Wanted posters were accurate. She does, however headtilt a bit at Gwen, "How can you be so sure it's not him Gwen?" Regardless of their previous conversation, she still is skeptical.

Meryl looks over to the tiny beastgirl with Riesenlied. "Oh thank you! Please help yourself to a donut! Make sure you share though!" She sets the boxes down near the two of them. Looking to Noeline, Meryl gestures. "I am glad that we finally made it here! Sorry it took so long. Following up on so many leads has kept us busy. It's good to see you both again." If she notices Riesenlied's state, Meryl doesn't remark upon it.

Behind her there is a small cheer from a couple of the kids as Milly begins tossing the ball back and forth with them, clearly she is distracted from their business here. For now, Meryl doesn't get after her. It's rare that they have a chance to just enjoy themselves and perhaps these kids needed the interaction.

<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

The little chestnut-haired girl in the Vash t-shirt looks on with burning enthusiasm as she exclaims, "yes, I want a donut, please!" as she pauses, and then peers back towards Riese...

...who acquiesces and says, "Just one, Janey." "Yaaay! Mom says I can have a donut!" she throws her hands into the air, then snatches the sweetest-looking one, with the most color on it.

Riesenlied quietly and unsteadily picks herself up from her chair with the beastgirl in tow, using Noeline at her side to support herself gently -- and introduces, "This is Mikaia. Mikaia, say hi to Miss Meryl and Miss Milly..."

Mikaia bows her head, ever the image of the most adorable little girl as she expresses much more softly, "H-hello, Miss Meryl, Miss Milly...!" She reaches for a mini-donut instead, after deciding it'd be too much for her to have a big one.

She listens in and waves to Gwen as she approaches as well. "I understand that there've been some rumors, about a 'man in red' coming to our village to threaten it... but that was not Vash the Stampede. That much, I can assure you. As for, ah... Mister Hamandspam? ...Balderdash?"

She bobs her head one way. "I haven't seen him around the Badlands, admittedly..."

Meanwhile, Janey's basketball drops to one side and rolls along the ground... perhaps dramatically stopping at a Certain Man's feet??

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

"Heyhey, not every news I deliver is bad news," Gwen is quick to say to Noeline before softly admitting, "besides, most mail I get are just parcels, really."

Reaching over with her left hand to snag a donut, the courier gives a sheepish smile. "W-well, I ain't implying nothing! I just saw the shirt, n'-..." She trails off, and sighs. "If you saw him, you'd *know* he ain't-"

But is he? Is he really just a bum that goes around, having excessive amounts of misadventures and being a complete goof? And why 'just'? Being those things is a full-time job!

Meryl also speaks up. Gwen waves a hand. "Well, if he's here, you'll see what I mean."

Which is to say: Gwen's not sure if he's Vash or not, but she doesn't care to deal with the connotations of simply hand-waving the sin of making an entire city's disappear off the face of the map.

But either way, Mr. Balderhambashlagash's not here, according to Riesenlied. Something in the redhead's shoulders sinks; her expression, meanwhile, is hidden by the donut she's beginning to eat. "Oh hey, these are pretty good!"

Gulliver, meanwhile, dotes on some children who have come up to pet and gently play with him, his head held low within easy reaching distance of any child's hands. Gwen chuckles. "He won't bite. Just be gentle with him. He can only judge you by the way you handle him, so kindness is key."

<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.

Noeline doesn't reach for the treats, seemingly content to let the children have first go at them - there are no shortage of others around to have first go at them, after all, and she's managed to learn at least a little in the way of temperance around Riesenlied. From time to time, at least. Instead, she offers the other Metal Demon her shoulder, helping the woman up and providing some support for the other woman.

"... to be honest, I wasn't quite sure if you'd even be along," she notes with some humour towards Meryl, keeping an easy grin on her face. "After all, my 'offer' was-- certainly a rather strange one, hm? And half a joke, though at the same time you can surely see why it wouldn't hurt to have a little in the way of official protection and recognition. Wayside is a little out of the way, as befits its name."

She looks mildly astounded that the more upbeat of the orphans even bothers to check with Riese, rather than just nab a doughnut off the bat - and then huffs as 'Janey' just grabs for the best looking one without asking. One of her paired ARMs appears to be following the girl around, the white sphere alternately bobbing just behind her or else resting in Janey's hair as if nesting there.

"Even then," she adds to Riesenlied's comment with a light frown, almost bemused. "I can hardly say that Id was here to 'threaten' us. He might be gruff, certainly, but his actions--... well, who can say?" she adds, perhaps backing away from the point a little to offer Gwen a mischievous sort of smile instead. "I have to admit, I'm curious about this Vash, however. The only reports I've heard were wildly differing, and in my experience that tends to mean the truth lies rather further from the tree, hm?"

<Pose Tracker> Vash the Stampede has posed.

The basketball hits the earth, kicking up a little ripple of upended dirt. Like a guide towards destiny it rolls, as is its sacred duty, compelled by fate to dramatically stop...

... very far away from a Certain Man's feet.

...

It's not an exact science, okay?

The point BEING, of course, that there is someone new here. Someone dramatically off in the distance. Someone wrapped -- dramatically, obviously -- in a tan shroud, tattered from age and use to weather its wearer against the most brutal of sandstorms that batter western Ignas' vast, desert landscape. He stands, tall and yet somehow so easily overlooked, at the fringes of the Wayside, as that basketball stops several feet from his, well, feet.

From the darkness of his hood, he surveys the landscape, his parched, dry lips pulling into a thin, inscrutable line clearly indicating something deeply profound nd perhaps morally complex. The desert cloak rustles in the wind. Dramatically. Of course.

"So, I'm here at long last."

It's all very, very, terribly--

"... After decades of search--" *gurgle* "ohgodmystomach"

--... dramatic.

And that is the story of how the Certain Man dramatically faceplanted after a weak "why meeeeeeee".

His face dramatically coming to a stop on top of a Certain Baseball.

*whud*

And there he lies, motionless.

... Is he dead??

... ... Well anyway. It's all, incredibly, worryingly, disconcertingly dramatic.

<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Is Mister Balderhambashgoulash Vash? The question do ever mount. What is it about that cavalcade of syllables that draws the eye so? It is something that the mind reels at. Riesenlied does smile at Gwen, before-- pausing as she whispers, "Miss Gwen..."

A hesitant pause, as she steps closer as she reaches her hand out gently. "Did-- something go awry, recently? I can sense something--" she twinges for a moment, as she glances towards her poncho for a moment.

She's not sure, but it's like she can hear the cry of a dragon... a similar feeling that she gets from the Ruins.

Mikaia nods towards Meryl with a smile as she says, "I--I'm on my best behaviour, mommy says I can study more... alkeemee... if I'm good!" So sweet!

Riesenlied is grateful for Meryl's question, saying, "It's just been... difficult in the past week or so. I'll be okay."

Janey turns her head and stares towards the tall, tan and dramatic as she gawks and goes, "Hey, my ball's-- woaah...!"

A pause.

"Someone just died on our doorstep, mom!" Janey crows out.

Riesenlied frowns as she says, "Could someone please-- ah."

A pair of Demons dressed like doctors hurries on out from a nearby medical tent, carrying a stretcher with them. The lead Demon looks towards Milly as she hurries by, nodding at Meryl as he goes: "Don't worry ma'am, I'm a licensed Simple Country Doctor."

His safety yellow clamp hands whirr and spin after he says that.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

"Dunno if anyone can really say what Vash the Stampede's like. I like t'think he's just some old guy, holed up in an oasis, being a hermit. Just... away from other people." Gwen's expression softens into worry as she finally begins to look over Riesenlied. Her condition really hasn't gotten much better, it seems. Though, what exactly *is* better?

While Gwen frowns over Riesenlied's condition, Riesenlied is noticing her own. The courier spares Riesenlied another sheepish, guilty smile, allowing herself a wince as Meryl and Milly's attentions are turned towards the children. "Had a, uh, stone pillar fall on me? Kinda hurts, but considerin' how much hurt I'd be in if I didn't have it, well, it's a small price to pay. Um.. Sorry." Her words are quiet, meant for Riesenleid and Noeline, (if she's close enough). Lifting her left index finger to her lips, Gwen gives a playful wink. "Don't say anythin' to Meryl n' Milly, 'kay? They don't know."

The courier misses the indication of Riesenlied reaching her hand towards her; all of it is thrown to the side at the exclamation of the child upon discovering the cloaked traveler.

"What in tarnation?!" Gwen jogs over to hover by Meryl, thankful that Milly's already pressing the children from crowding in. "Is he still breathin'? A-ah-" Looking up, she manages to hold back a cringe as one of the Simple Country Doctors comes in and announces himself, his clamp hands spinning. "O-okay, sure, lemme see if I can get this Drifter on the stretc-" It was a declaration for Meryl's sake, as Gwen firmly places herself in charge of getting the man on the stretcher.

It's just that, in that moment of time, where Gwen felt the call of duty...

... She forgot about her ARM.

It's actually a difficult thing to accomplish, really, considering the Mockingbird's occasional signals of pain and mismatched nerve pulses.

"Gh- ... d-damn, he's heavier... *grunt* .... than he.... lOO-" Gwen manages to get the fallen Vash halfway up before her clothed and gloved ARM gives way, jerking suddenly away, leaving her significantly weaker left arm to hold the man up. Which it does.

For a split-second. "D-DAM-"

<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.

Gently, Noeline tilts her head towards Meryl with another of those wry grins that have become rather common as of late, flicking out one of her long tails of hair with the hand that is free and not around Riesenlied. "... well! Then it's appreciated, I admit, and we can certainly take some time to show you around. Not to mention, if you're short on water, we have enough on hand to refill your skins. The qanat is the primary focus of the village, I suppose you could say," she adds as she nods her head towards where a long channel has been cut at a slight angle into one of the nearby cliffs, with a water pump at its base. "That is the commodity we're hoping to trade with those nearby, you could say."

"And-- I can only say that I do not believe Vash and the Demon of Elru are one of the same, at the very least," the spy adds with a light snicker. "The latter is not exactly-- subtle about what he is, or how he operates. Were you to put a bounty on him, I imagine he'd be at your doorstop within days just to show off the many ways in which you would be unable to capture him."

Her ears catch Gwen's explanation towards Riesenlied, and it takes her a moment to even realize what the courier might be talking about - but she raises her eyebrows just a little when she figures it out, letting out a sudden and unexpected breath. "... I imagine we can find you some assistance, if you can stay a little while--" she starts to say, but then the shout goes up.

If everyone else is worried and full of concern over the fallen figure, Noeline is the one who hands back in the corner of the frame as a grumpy blob, her arms suddenly folded tight around Riesenlied's arm as if to keep her away from the figure she's immediately pegged as some sort of troublemaker. "--honestly! Who on earth goes out into the desert without any decent provisions, or at least a vehicle? So many humans are so eager to injure themselves, these days!" she huffs hard, sulking almost to the open air.

In the blink of an eye she's darted forwards from where she's next to Riesenlied, taking the bulk of the weight from the courier; unlike Riesenlied, her strength is intact, and the way in which she hefts the man upwards is frankly ridiculous given their sheer difference in size - and yet, isn't without effort. "Has this man been eating cannonballs?!" she grouses, as she rather unceremoniously dumps him on the stretcher.

<Pose Tracker> Vash the Stampede has posed.

There he lies, lifeless. Probably dead. Maybe. It's hard to tell, really. His cloak draped around him, hood veiling both his face and the basketball, the Mysterious Man is just kind of... awkwardly slumped on a strange slope atop that ball. Motionless.

Motionless, even as Milly and Meryl and the children approach. Motionless, even as the shorter insurance agent prods him tentatively on the shoulder. Motionless, even as the Simple Country Doctor clamps his clamps (menacingly)helpfully (that he stiffens up a bit at that is clearly just a sign of rigor mortis settling in, clearer proof that he is obviously dead).

And he is an equally motionless sack of dead weight as Gwen Whitlock tries her damnedest to heft him up. Heft him up, in a process that is made more of a struggle by how limp he is. Lift him up, half way, before that arm gives out. He looks like he's about to topple over anew --

--until Noeline grabs hold of him before he can hit the ground, hefts him up, and dumps him on the stretcher, leaving nothing but empty ground where once he laid.

... wait. Empty ground. What happened to the basketb--

"HMRMRHPHOOH!!"

And that is when the mysterious figure suddenly lurches up out of the stretcher like the dead springing from the grave as terrible zombies, cloak falling away to reveal all the telltale, ominous signs:

Tall.

A red coat.

Spiky, blonde hair.

Basketball for a face.

Wait. What?

Yes. There stands the horrifying Vash the Stampede (??) with his glowering basketball face, limbs outstretched menacingly as he springs to horrifying life, groaning muffled, shrill sounds that only the infamously damned could mutter.

Closer inspection would probably reveal that the basketball is not his face and his mouth is just attached to it through the power of sheer suction which is of course a totally normal everyday thing for a normal everyday person who is not Vash the Stampede to do, and all his blood-curdlingly muffled cries are quite obviously easily translatable and completely obviously harmless:

"HHHUHOOO MUHDUHHSSH!!"

(HELLO MORTALS)

"UHM DH TRRBUH BUHSHKEHBUH GUHHHHHH~~!!"

(I'M THE TERRIBLE BASKETBALL GODDDDDDD)

"GIHH MEH AHH YUH FOOOOOAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

(GIVE ME ALL YOUR FOOAAAAAAAAAAAH)"...D"(...D)

--But that might not be the kinds of things one thinks about when someone who is clearly some manner of alien assimilated to a basketball is flailing around their suspiciously noodle-like arms threateningly in front of children. It's a crying shame.

"BWUHH HHH HHH HHHHHH!!" (*EVIL AND OMINOUS LAUGHTER*)

-Honestly-.


<Pose Tracker> Meryl Stryfe has posed.

"I am sure that we would appreciate being shown around. It would give me more of an idea of what we're looking at for insurance reasons." Meryl smiles, but remains professional. "Anyway, I am sure that we can work something out."

And then things change and everyone's focus is on the injured or sick? man.

Milly seems to be working to keep the kids attention elsewhere while Meryl helps the two demons that arrive with a stretcher. Or at least she tries to... but then Gwen offers her assistance. "I don't think you should handle him by your-" But it's too late and for all of Gwen's efforts, the wounded man nearly falls to the ground.

Somehow, before Meryl can even offer an additional hand, Noeline appears beside Gwen, offering a helping hand. Her strength is surprising and Meryl takes a step back but then she gets worried, "Don't drop him! He's already in trouble!" She can't help but feel sorry for the man getting josled around like that.

And then the man suddenly spurts to life and Meryl jumps back in surprise at the noise.

Then she stares...

...for a long time.

The spiky hair. The coat. His towering height.

Her mouth drops open even as she sees the basketball covering the majority of his face and then he speaks. Well... more like muffles and she is rendered speechless.

Milly, however, turns her attention from the kids and walks up to the man, reaching for the basketball. "I think you have a little something in your face." She then, without hesitation, pulls the ball away from him." One of the kids behind her looks terrified and Milly frowns at him. "You shouldn't scare the children like that!" She may also be wagging a finger at him.

<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied looks genuinely surprised at Gwen, before she-- nods towards the courier for a moment. "Y--yes, of course..." A pause, as she quickly adds, "I may be able to soothe the voice within, though I cannot say about the damage it may have endured."

But that's kind of left on the burner when she follows Gwen over to where Meryl and Milly is, looking towards the fallen man for a moment. "Ah, no, don't exacerbate it, Miss Gwen--"

But fortunately, Noeline is there to assist as she holds onto the mysterious tall man's side to drag him onto the stretcher. She sighs in quiet relief...

.... before he emerges out and his cloak falls off to reveal--

Riese holding her hand to her mouth in surprise--

"Mister Hamandspam??"

Janey's eyes shine more as she stares towards how tall his hair is! How cool his coat is! And--

"It's the Terrible Basketball God!" Janey exclaims, somehow having perfect Vash-sense. It's clearly because she's wearing the Donut Worry t-shirt with Vash's face on it, that they have perfect understanding! She holds onto her ball after Meryl pulls it off.

She looks excitedly towards Meryl. "The Terrible Basketball God wants food!"

Riesenlied sighs as she kneels next to Gwen, placing Mikaia down as she asks, "Is her arm okay, Riesemama...?"

Riese supports Gwen for a moment, and closes her eyes-- and there's a faint shimmer of those light particles from Riese's hand as she laces her afflicted hand to Gwen's. Inwardsly, Gwen can feel that erratic nature, the agitation that her ARM's been suffering since she struck that stone pillar... start to soften a little, as if it's been coaxed to relax and not panic about its pain.

"M--mnnn," Riese struggles just a little, nodding as she breathes out exhaustedly.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

"OhguardiansI'msosorry-" That's Gwen, apologizing to the definitely dead man now being propped up by poor Noeline to be deposited in the stretcher. Man, it's been a while before she's had to apologize like this. The last time (that immediately springs to mind, anyway) is when she somehow inflicted violence upon Mr. Bananabash. "ThankyousomuchNoeline, Icould'vekilledhimandthatwould'vebeenhorribleandaughmyarm-"

Thankfully, that's when Riesenlied manages to come to her aid, her hand ensuring Gwen doesn't immediately move to place herself in more unneeded danger. "Riesenlied..." Her eyes fall to the worried Mikala; a left hand reaches out to lightly tussle the child's hair. "It'll be okay. I just wanted to make sure I, er..." Her words become distracted as she feels the effects of Riesenlied's inflience on her ARM, an unnoticed tenseness beginning to fade out of her upper body. "Thank you, Riesenlied." She moves her hand over Riesenlied's now, in order to prompt her to stop. "That'll do me until I get back to Auntie's.

All this goes on as the Angry Basketball God rises from his grave, eager to inflict suffering upon the living to appease his all compassing maw of his hunger. This is why it's kind of a good thing Riesenlied has Gwen's ARM; Gwen's first reaction may have been to punch him.

As Riesenlied identifies the Basketball God to be Mr. Baldersmash, Gwen just limply gestures with her left hand. "That's him. The friend I was talkin' about. Or had to talk about because some idiot decided to tell you that he's Vash." She moves to get up, but feels the urge to stay next to Riesenlied for now, just in case she's about to fall over. ".... Uh..." Gwen notices the donuts. "He might like a donut." Or five.

<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.

Noeline, for all her poise and pomp, lets out a rather ungainly and surprised squawk as the inert man suddenly jumps up from the stretcher; she's skittered backwards a couple of uncertain steps, even, her hair and composure visibly ruffled. You can sort of see the connections spark in her head - a immediate and instinctive comparison to a Metal Demon whose name begins with Z - and automatically she's aimed a swift kick at the man's ankle. It's not exactly hostile, so much as her version of trying to save face after her loss of composure.

"... honestly," she grumbles afterwards, and looks to one of the guards who's immediately sprung to alert at the first signs of yelling. "--get this--" pause, "--man some water, please?" she requests, trying to ignore the way that her two spherical ARM pods have begun circling the newcomer's head as if they were trying to do a rather off-kilter impression of a Disney Princess surrounded by wildlife.

Her eyes flick towards Riesenlied's attempt to make contact with Gwen's arm - and even if she's not encountered the appendage before, only heard tell of it from her partner, it doesn't take her all that long to deduce how damaged the limb might be. Or, for that matter, who might be able to repair it. She lightly rests a hand on Riesenlied's shoulder in support, watching Gwen's reaction - not to mention her gradual climbdown from discomfort - and her naturally suspicious mind wonders about awkward things like 'long-term affects' and 'acclimatization' and 'is that thing going to mess her up eventually'. Quietly, she makes a mental note to check if Kalve is in.

Then, for good measure, she huffs again as she aims another boot at the overly tall man. She is a terrible example for her kids.

<Pose Tracker> Vash the Stampede has posed.

"GWEH HUHH HUHH--"

(*EVIL LAUGHTER CONTINUES*--)

"HWAH?!"

(*STUNNED GASP*)

And so it is that Vash the Stampede (?) inadvertantly (??) continues to menace (???) all those in front of him until Milly saves the day by removing that basketball, revealing the -- very red -- face of none other than -- Mister Hamandash? Mister Balderdash?? Mister--

"NO! THE SOURCE OF MY POWERS!"

--Mister Whoever He Is, he can only look on in shock as the basketball falls away; he sags, practically looking like he's withering away into nothing--

"Is this the end... of the lovable Mister Basketdash--"

*CRACK*

--and then Noeline helpfully seals the deal with a swift ankle kick.

"hurk -- no, struck in my Diomedes Heel--!"

This would be the defeated sound Vash makes as his poor, abused leg snaps up and he goes toppling over like a mighty, fallen tree, hitting Wayside grounds with yet another, meaty thud. Dust and dirt settle inelegantly around him, and there he lingers, forgotten for a time, as attention turns to Gwen's arm. Which is fine.

Because somehow, in the span of him arriving and him falling to the ground in utter defeat, that box of donuts has managed to find its way into Vash's hands.

His mouth is stuffed with two or three of them right about the time Gwen mentions his dire desire for donuts.

"Huh? Whoh, meh?" he questions incredulously around a mouthful of pastries, brows scrunching. That he has been keeping his attention on Gwen's arm throughout all his antics is likely something that would go largely unnoticed. "Noh weh--"

kick

"Oh god why!"

And this is Meryl and Milly's first sight of the man they believe to definitely maybe possibly be Vash the Stampede.

Gripping his ankle and rolling around.

That he finds the time to cleverly and subtly sneak an extra donut Janey's way in the midst of his flailing is probably masked expertly by how he is very definitely crying. Loudly.

Seriously, there's tears and everything.

"... I'll never walk agaaaaaiiiin...!"

<Pose Tracker> Meryl Stryfe has posed.

Meryl looks back at Gwen momentarily as Riesenlied helps her. Whatever happens, she seems interested but mostly unaware of the healing and help that was offered. "You're okay right Gwen?" She appears genuinely concerned that trying to lift the man had injured her. "You should have tried to lift him."

As Janey mentions that he wants food, Meryl turns around, "He what?" A pause. "Was all this just to get food?" She doesn't seem amused at his actions. Milly also folds her arms across her chest as one of the younger kids continues to cling to her.

"That's the guy you were talking about Gwen?" Meryl shakes her head in disbelief as Noeline takes first aim at him. "I can see why people don't believe that he's Vash."

Meryl walks closer to him. "But... " She cannot ignore the similarities between him and the rumours, the child's shirt and the wanted posters. "...who are you?" Despite her small size and the fact that he towers over her, she doesn't seem intimidated.

And then, as Meryl sees him stuffing his mouth with the donuts, she reaches to snatch the box of donuts away from him. "HEY! Those are not for you!"

When she turns to hand the box to a nearby kid, she hears the man cry out again and turns to find... him rolling around on the ground. "Seriously?" Meryl huffs and then shakes her head at him. "It couldn't have been that bad." She appears to be very unsympathetic to his discomfort.

<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied winces for a moment further, but breathes out genteely with a soft nod. "... I'm sorry I can't do much more for you..." she does say with genuine regret, but lets go when Gwen prompts her to.

There's a squawk of surprise as Noeline actually kicks him, though, exclaiming, "W-wh-- Noeline, don't!" She tries to get up and drag her partner away as she says, "He's not hostile! Why are you kicking him?? This isn't like you..." Someone might be incredibly sensitive still, after what happened with Ragnell.

"W-waaah, stop fighting...." Mikaia whimpers as she holds her arms over her head, little tears welling up around her eyes. "He's so louddd...!"

Janey flails as she exclaims, "O-oh no, the source of the Terrible Basketball God's power has been removed!"

A pause, as she looks at the ball and holds it up.

"Now I am the Basketball Goddess!!!" she enunciates with power. And gets another donut, ooooh. See, declaring herself Goddess is already producing tithes her way! Althena got /nothing/ on Janey.

"Bow down before me, Dethroned Basketball Goddess! It's now the age of Janey, gwah hah hah!" Janey declares in front of an already rolling-around Vash.

Janey, do you want to be a Drifter when you grow up, or... an Antagonist?

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

As Noeline calls for water, Gwen sighs and shakes her head. "No wonder I haven't gotten a message from him! He's probably not at all used to Badlands heat. Probably was bein' boiled alive in the desert, and somehow, he managed to survive. Might have some sun burn, heat exhaustion, dehydration, probably delirious on top of it all. Y'know, the works. He's lucky to still be alive." Even as she lists the possible aliments Vash may have, a small, relieved smile is visible on her face before she turns back to Riesenlied. "Nah, nah, you did plenty! I came here not expectin' anythin'. Just saw Meryl and Milly headin' here and kinda wondered if they stumbled across a lead. So, uh... I guess I owe you guys a few favors, eh?" Slowly, she gets up, running her left hand over her right experimentally.

Wait. Where are the donuts?

"Oh. Guess he found em'." Gwen watches on in amazement as Meryl proceeds to handle Vash with expert ease. "Man, even I threw a log at him when I first met 'im! Maybe he's just been goin' around causin' little tussles like this, and it just got attributed to Vash the Stampede because of his coat n' hair. He's real harmless, though!" Very much. Except when his friends are in trouble.

But isn't that the same for any Drifter?

Walking over to the rolling and thrashing Vash, Gwen bends down, grinning wide. "'Ey! Long time no see! These two lovely ladies have a few questions t'ask. Y'think you can at least convince em' of who you are?" She offers out a hand- her left, of course- for Vash to help himself up. "Gotta pay em' for the donuts, right?"

<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.

With a snort, Noeline relents, dropping back at Riesenlied's behest to grumble rather openly as she latches onto the other Metal Demon. "It's not as if it was going to hurt him," is her first attempt, but she does cow quickly at the look on Riesenlied's face, letting out a softer breath as she settles at her partner's side. "... if he got this far across the desert alone, with nothing but the rags on his back, he's tough enough that that shouldn't phase him. We'll get him some provisions."

Why she knows this, she's not entirely sure - but she's used to trusting her instincts, and there's something about the way in which Janey abruptly and conveniently ends up with more in the way of sugary treats all while the man is rolling around making a lot of sound and not a great deal of actual fury.

She leans in, even, to give Riesenlied a light chuckle and a fond touch at her hair - and then she's abruptly nabbed Janey under one arm with an amused cackle. "Oh? And here I've never heard of a Calamitest Basketball Goddess. Can you be one or the other when you can't even defeat a Crimson Noble, I wonder?" she adds, her spare hand at her mouth, fingers splayed as she puts on her best evil grin. It's a pretty good one.

--her expression kind of drops as she looks towards Gwen and the courier's extensive litany of what-ifs and maybes, the rather bemused and disbelieving look on her face suggesting that perhaps a Metal Demon ex-spy is not someone so easily swayed - but then, it's not like she really believed that a single man would explode a city on purpose, either, and she knows the value of keeping these kinds of plays intact.

Rather than pass judgement, therefore, she just thoughtfully turns Janey upside-down by the ankles instead.

<Pose Tracker> Vash the Stampede has posed.

Donuts -- stolen!!

"This is the worst day of my liiiiiiife!"

It couldn't have been that bad, insists Meryl.

"I feel like death--!!" maintains Vash.

"I see -- I see the white light. This must be it. I bequeath all my possessions.. to Gulliver-- eh?"

And just before he can officially sign away all his great personal treasures (?) to a horse (??), Vash pauses in confusion as Gwen approaches him. Seagreen eyes blink once or twice. "Oh hey Gwen," he greets nonchalantly despite the fact that he was definitely literally at death's door not, like, half a second ago, wide eyes full of curious wonder. "Kinda an unusual place, right?? Who knew deserts could be so big! And HOT! And there wasn't a single catina along the way! It was hell! Oh, you don't know the horrors I experienced to get here! All the sand! And the sand! ... And the sand!! But finally, finally, I've reached this destined place!"

Sprawled as he is, he points one valiant finger to the heavens. A long stretch of silence passes.

"Uh. ... What IS this place, anyway?"

Vash is in the middle of scratching the back of his head in abject confusion when Gwen offers her hand and makes her request. Blinking, he looks back the insurance girls' way, head tilting as he hefts himself back up onto his feet with the super courier's help. He leans down. Stares at Meryl. Squints.

"Huh. When'd you get here, lady?" ... Vash you were literally just talking to her Vash come on now Vash--

"BUT! Hm. Who am I, you ask? Are you sure you want to know?" Suddenly, his pitch drops, and it's almost like magic how he can invoke that grim sense of gravitas -- invoke that sense of mystery -- when he had been previously rolling around on the ground, bawling his eyes out. The light in his eyes dims to a grim sobriety. His smile fades. The gloved hand on his chin evokes a deeply introspective pose. "For you see... my name is..."

...!!

"... the BASKETBALL GODDESS?!"

... Wait that doesn't sound right.

Which is probably because Vash's attention is completely diverted fromo Meryl and Milly now in favor of pitting his focus on the inverted Janey. His nostrils flare in indignance, eyes alight in fury, rising up to his full, impressive height once more. "You think so, eh?! You think just because you can defy the laws of gravity" Vash someone's clearly holding her upsidedown "you can intimidate me, villain!? THINK AGAIN! For I..."

And dramatically, Vash the Stampede's hands lift...

... and affix that box of donuts atop his spiky head of hair like a crown.

"... was really the LEGENDARY DONUT KING all along!!"

Wait. What?

And how did he get the box of donuts again??

All questions perhaps best left an enigma as the infamous Mr. Bananasmash (??) snakes a hand out to swipe that basketball from upsidedown Janey, proclaim, "And now I have deprived you and your little lackeys of both your power and your sweets! Neener neener neener!!," and very maturely give all those kids a great big raspberry before he looks to dart off, basketball in tow and box of donuts precariously wobbling on top of his head as he encourages the children to chase after him with his taunts.

That he simultaneously ducks answering any of Meryl or Milly's questions while also running away from them is probably just a coincidental byproduct of him playing with the children, clearly.

"Oh hey, I think I see a sandworm!! Let's go look!!!"

... But someone should probably go after him all the same.

<Pose Tracker> Meryl Stryfe has posed.

Milly's concern for the orphans, especially Mikaia, causes her to try and offer some comfort to the small girl. She bends down until she is eye level with the girl, "It's okay Mikaia. I will protect you!" A hand is offered to the little girl as Milly tries to move away from the crazy man rolling around on the ground.

Listening to Gwen's explanations, Meryl can only shrug. "It's hard for me to say but still..." Unfortunately, despite her experience, the investigator doesn't really know what to think or what to believe. "I still have to treat everyone who even remotely matches the description with suspicion no matter how harmless they seem." Still, she really, really finds it hard to believe this man could be him.

As Vash talks about feeling like death, she hovers over him. "Seriously? You could... you know... stand up!" She sighs. "If you knew that you were coming all this way, you should have prepared... or at least brought water."

He continues and Meryl is momentarily forgotten and then suddenly he acts like she wasn't talking to him just two seconds ago. "Yes, we really want to know." As his voice lowers, she raises an eyebrow with interest and then he exclaims that's he's a basketball goddess and Meryl practically falls over. "What are you talking about!" But she is completely being ignored now.

The tiny insurance woman watches his antics as he somehow acquires the box of donuts again but he is entirely too tall for her to grab them away and Milly is still distracted with Mikaia to be of use. "Hey wait... you can't go yet and I told you those donuts are for the kids!!!!"

It's too late though as he is clearly too fast for her and as the children follow him, Meryl looks back to the others. "Seriously...I think you guys are right. He can't be Vash the Stampede." Meryl sighs and slumps down into in a nearby bench. She is clearly exhausted and maybe very confused by all of this.

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