2018-01-26: Do the Impossible
- Log: Do the Impossible
- Cast: Xantia, Lily Keil
- Where: November City - Market Street
- Date: January 26th, 2018
- Summary: When Lily's injuries sustained in the climactic battle in the Seven Sages ruins refuse to heal, Xantia, feeling certain she can help, proposes to try something she's never attempted before.
=====================<* November City - Market Street *>====================== November City is the greatest and the largest of the Seed Cities. When it appeared after the Night of Falling Stars, it was already a large settlement, built by the survivors of that day quickly. It has since grown enormously, appealing to people in the Badlands in search of some security and the refugees from failed and lost Seed Cities. Market Street, its main thoroughfare, demonstrates this. On the outskirts of the city, shantytowns and shacks pop up along the street, gradually becoming the larger buildings in the heart of November. The street is named for the huge market that has sprung up across it, occupying the three and four story brick buildings along each side. It's a wide, paved road (a rare thing in the Badlands) and connected to Central Station, where all of the railways come. Here, one can find anything they want. The laissez-faire nature of November City's government makes the black market an open one, and this is one of the few places where ARMs and stolen goods from Aveh and Kislev can be bought with ease. There are also saloons, taverns, restaurants, and hotels to be found. November City is a true melting pot, where Drifters from across Filgaia mix with foreign merchants and locals of every class. Men wearing suits brush by peasants in homespun, while Drifters and knights bump into each other. The police force usually prevents outright gunfights in the streets, but November City's officials are infamously easy to bribe. BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFi2pwQRRzQ
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Wherever there's food, there's Xantia. If that isn't a saying yet, it should be! Market Street is therefore a common hangout of the red-haired pugilist, who tends to have ways to need neither money nor effort to get her hands on something to eat. It's just a thing that happens, she doesn't question it. If people are inclined to give her free food, far be it from her to say no!
This time is no different. Once again, she's managed to obtain some kind of meat-filled bun from one of the stalls, already happily munching away by the time Lily arrives. Xantia specifically asked her to come along today, saying she wanted to talk. It's just a bit unusual, mostly because Xantia doesn't usually ask to talk, she just shows up and starts talking, possibly forever. Good odds that there's something specifically on her mind.
The second sign that something's unusual is that she promptly offers her second, still untouched bun to Lily. Xantia, giving her food away? That's rare. It's not that it isn't good, far from it, even though one would be hard-pressed to identify what kind of meat is actually in these things.
Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary, at leats not right away. Xantia is her usual cheerful, energetic self. Talking excitedly about what's occupying her mind right now, which is mostly how good the food is and where there is more good food to be found around here, until casually slipping in at the end the completely unrelated remark, "And I also found a really good lead to maybe finding out more about myself, so everything's great!" And then immediately asking, "So how are you? Any better? Because if not..."
She stops her waterfall of words for a moment, apparently finally deciding that she should let Lily get a word in, shaking her head. "Well, tell me first, before I start to go on." Start to?
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily, for her part, has a fondness for drink more than most food. ...But here in November, she accepted Xantia's invitation, arranging to meet her as requested, and she arrives more or less on time. Wearing a black dress and gloves, Lily has her usual armored jacket draped over her shoulders, concealing a little bit the padded area with the bandages on her arm--that remains, of course. ...That arm hangs in place, rather than doing much of anything, for the most part. Not entirely though. And...
It is unusual. But then, Lily doesn't usually do meeting to 'talk' anyway. It's pretty normal for people to talk over her; she's quiet, after all. But once she gets here, she is not alone. ...Not just Xantia, either.
A little black dog pads along at her side, happily walking through the streets. Lily does not appear to have any problem with this. Once she's here, she takes the bun, with a bod, takes a bite and chews while Xantia is talking--letting her talk as much as she'd like--and then...
"That's good," Lily says. "What was it?" A pause. ...Tell her. Lily is made up enough to cover most of her fatigue as she looks to Xantia, considering if she can get away with dodging the question.
"...Improving," she answers without giving many details. "I can walk around, anyway. I'm well enough to explore. So what's this lead?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
"Good, right?" Xantia agrees even though Lily may not have meant the food when she said 'that's good'. Not much point in trying to correct her there, probably. "Though maybe not as good as the food you brought!" ...that might be worth a correction, given that she's looking at Lily's canine companion when she says that. She never did learn to not immediately consider any given animal as potential food in her first observation. There's time to, at least, since Xantia is quiet a moment afterwards, too busy chewing and swallowing after stuffing her face with what was left of the meat bun to continue talking immediately.
It's not entirely clear if she's noticed anything about Lily's condition. She doesn't appear to have subjected the area she knows is injured to particular scrutiny. And the short answer followed by moving on to another subject seems to have thrown her off, as that subject is what she immediately responds to. "I have a map of the area where they found me! You know, where I... collapsed, I guess. I don't remember what happened. But I hope I will if I go back there! Maybe I'll find out what made me lose my memory!"
Nothing if not optimistic. There's no way to know if this will help at all. But it's the most concrete, solid lead she has. Of course she expects the world from it. To someone who wants her memories back more than anything, this matters in a way few other things can.
However, if Lily thought to have escaped questioning, she thought wrong. It's not long before Xantia remarks, "Well enough to explore is good. But is it all fixed now?" 'Fixed' is a bit of an odd phrasing. Especially given Xantia's simple, straightforward way of speaking, it may be deliberate.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily nods, deciding not to bother correcting it. It's certainly food--Lily will eat a lot of things, honestly. She does however lift an eyebrow at Xantia looking to the puppy. "Xantia, Dog is not food. Don't try to eat her." Dog--apparently the puppy's name--barks happily up at Xantia for an instant, and Lily looks down at her and lifts an eyebrow. ...Dog looks appropriately serious after that, or as serious as puppies get anyway.
Lily thinks for a moment that she might be getting away with it, has a little bit of relief for that. "Is that so?" Lily asks. "It's a good place to start. Act on the information you have. ...Let me know when it's time, and I'll go with you."
...Lily can understand it, to a degree; there's a hint of that understanding in her tone, though she doesn't make it obvious. However... It turns out that Lily was wrong, and she responds to the question by taking another bite of the bun and staring at Xantia's eyes while she chews it. ...The effect would probably be intimidating on someone who isn't Xantia. As it stands though... "Fixed, huh?" she answers eventually, not sure why that sticks out for her.
"You mean my injury," Lily answers. "No. It's going to take some time to heal. Longer than usual, it seems."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia, while chewing, looks momentarily disappointed, but then smiles at Dog's friendly greeting. But what does that smile mean? Is Dog in danger?! ...nah, Xantia is too sincere and ready to accept whatever she's told for that. She's already accepted the Not Food label and is now more ready to act like a normal person around the puppy. She can change her mind and attitude very quickly.
Besides, very soon she has every reason to be even more cheerful, with Lily saying she'll go with. "Really? That'd be great if you could! I mean, it's in the middle of the desert, and the map isn't too detailed, so I only have a vague idea where to go. After we get there, we'll have to, what do they call it? 'Comb the desert'?" She looks so proud of herself whenever she can find cause to use an expression she learned about. She's still not going to get every single figure of speech, but she's improving.
Reading the mood is something she also isn't always the best at, seeing as how she doesn't see any cause to feel like she may have hit some kind of nerve. Lily's just being Lily, she looks like that sometimes. Perfectly normal. She just smiles and nods to confirm the usage of the word 'fixed'. Absolutely no notion of having said anything weird.
The smile only fades when Lily confirms what she apparently already suspected. "I thought so." She's no doctor, of course, but she still looks pensive a moment, looking at the ground as she considers the lingering injury. When she returns her gaze to Lily, she clarifies: "You couldn't use your magic, right? I saw you try before, and it wasn't working."
Since it doesn't tend to come up this overtly very often, it's easy to forget how observant Xantia can be. But it's only a logical consequence of her worry that she'll end up forgetting things again. She pays very close attention to what's going on around her. It may be harder to figure out what makes her think her next claim is the case. She looks confused about it herself, even as she says it. "Maybe... maybe I can help fix it."
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Dog does not seem worried in the least. Dog happily pads along, and Lily looks back to Xantia, accepting the change. ...She's been around Xantia enough, though if she sees any dog-eating motions... Well. She can correct them. It's not hard.
"Sure," Lily answers. "Two pairs of eyes are better than one. ...Though I recommend making an expedition of it and gathering others--the desert's monsters can be a problem." A beat, "...Yeah. Comb the desert. Good work." She adds it mostly to be nice. ..Xantia brings that out in Lily a little bit, not that she's inclined to admit it. However...
Pensive. Xantia gets to the heart of it--something Lily has avoided saying--and she nods, very shallowly. "...That's right," she says. "You saw, huh? ...I'm trying to keep that a little quiet. But you aren't the only one who knows."
It is easy to forget; Lily forgot, in this case. But the claim comes, and Lily blinks, studying Xantia closely. "...Can you?" she asks. "What makes you think that?" She isn't sharp exactly... But it's close. She is intent.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
"An expedition..." Xantia repeats, mulling it over, clearly not having thoroughly thought through how she was going to approach this. But she can agree, "That makes sense! I'll gather some others, then!" She looks and sounds confident about her ability to organize something like that. Why wouldn't she, she just got praised, so her confidence is way up. Is this cause for worry? Time will tell.
She does show some alarm now, as Lily confirms her suspicions, but only because Lily said she wants to keep it quiet. It's easy to tell, with her conspicuously looking around to see if anybody's listening in, before dropping the volume of her voice to say, "Sorry, I didn't know." It makes sense, in hindsight, but well, the obvious not always is, where it comes to Xantia.
She seems to once again fail to interpret the way Lily is looking at her properly, but when asked how she knows that, even she seems to have picked up on something being different. It prompts her to backpedal a little, holding up her hands and clarifying, "W-Well, I'm not entirely sure if I can, I just, I just thought..."
What did she think? Being asked so directly is apparently making her doubt herself. But she meant what she said, all the same. She can't shake that feeling... it would be easier to explain it to Lily if she could share how she felt, rather than have to put it into words. Failing that, she can only give it her best shot.
"This... may sound weird, but... those patterns..." She traces her own arm with the opposite hand to indicate what she's talking about. "...I've seen them before." She says it with conviction, though it only lasts for that part of the sentence. After that, it's back to sounding unsure of herself. "I just... don't know where. It happens sometimes, it's like... I feel like I'm very close to remembering something, but then... all I'm sure of is that I know about it, and sometimes I can do something with it, and..."
She trails off, frowning in frustration at her own inability to explain it properly. It soon clears up, and she raises a finger, thinking to use an example. "Like with Gears! I knew about them, and when I was in one the controls just... made sense. I don't remember how, or why, but... somehow I just know. And just now, something was telling me... I know those patterns. So... maybe I can do something with them, too."
She can only hope she managed to make that make sense somehow.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
...The way Xantia repeats it suggests a little of that to Lily. "Good. Let me know when you do; we can go over what supplies we'll need out in the desert." A little gentle guidance shouldn't be a problem. ...It should help. Xantia means well, but Lily still has that inclination to take care fo her here. But the alarm--
Lily just waits for Xantia to finish, shakes her head. "It's fine," she answers. "I just don't want my enemies to realize I'm in a weakened state." The explanation may help--or not. She doesn't seem to hold it against Xantia though, just remain quiet, a little melancholy. The way Xantia backpedals doesn't change Lily's expression; she keeps that intent look, waiting through the explanation, including the unsurety.
She looks all the more intense when Xanti traces the patterns, says she's seen them before, because this has caught Lily's attention. "...You've seen them," Lily replies, and waits through that frustration. The example comes, and Lily considers, thoughtfully. "I..."
She nods, after a moment. "...And I've had some speculation that they may be a machine of some kind, somehow." She watches Xantia's face for a few more moments. "I'll take what I can get, honestly. I have no idea how to heal this injury; my own abilities can't seem to touch it, and the longer I go without using them... The worse my condition. It's... an issue I'm aware of. I'm fine for now, but soon..."
A shake of her head. "All right. I'll let you try. But not here."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia is just honestly relieved that she's managed to make herself understood, letting out a sigh as if the effort to explain it was supremely exhausting. "I don't even know how much sense I'm making sometimes..." It's only a momentary lament, before her smile returns when Lily mentions they may be a machine of some kind. "You think so, too? That's the feeling I had, that something was broken! ...not like, the entire arm, just... you know what I mean!" She feels confident enough to say that, now.
All that can really be concluded about her expressions and mannerisms is that they certainly seem natural and earnest. So either Xantia is absolutely incredible at keeping things hidden from people, or she's the exact open book that she appears to be. In which case this isn't that unusual for her: she always wants to help people, she thought that she could help a friend, and this is her trying to do just that. Awkwardly, because you can't really go 'I think I can help but I don't know what I'm going to do, so can I try to do it' and expect to be understood. Even she knows that much.
It's not just a relief that she could get this far, but for Lily to actually give the go-ahead on giving it a try... it's self-evident how excited that makes her, her palms slamming together in an expression of joy. "Really?? That's great! Maybe I'll even remember something that way! I mean, maybe this is something I used to do all the time! Maybe pattern-fixer was my job!" That's a lot of maybes. And even she has to realize how low the odds are of 'pattern-fixer' being an actual job, right?
None of this seems about to curb her enthusiasm, quick to make a fist to declare, "Leave it to me! I won't let it get any worse!" And without any segue going on to wonder, "Oh right, you probably want to go someplace with less people, right? Then we should get away from the market!" Brilliant conclusion. Hopefully Lily wasn't hoping for any more concrete suggestions than that, because they don't seem to be forthcoming.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily can understand that fear--from another direction. "You do fine," Lily answers her, and letting herself watch Xantia's smile. "I don't know," Lily admits, "But I've heard speculation that they may be. I don't see how that makes sense, but I can't rule out the possibility." Something... Broken. "It does seem like that. It's like... Something is shorting out." She knows what Xantia means, it's true.
They're quite a pair being watched this way; Xantia, earnest and natural, Lily cold and standoffish. Lily can't really account for either one that she is; she knows well enough that she can't accept everyone at face value. It may be awkward, but Lily's quiet sort of steams over any awkwardness by virtue of refusing to acknowledge that it matters.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," the sorceress cautions Xantia, but inclines her head. "But it's possible you will. Though... These patterns..." She trails off. "They're..." She remembers seeing what she did. "Rare," she says instead.
"All right. To be honest, I'm a little desperate. ...So let's go." She considers. "Away from the market... Follow me."
Lily turns away, and Dog walks right at her heels, padding over the stones of the streets as the Kislevi woman leads onward across some twists and turns--she finishes the bun along the way, though not without leaning down to give Dog a little piece. Eventually, they come to what looks like an old common room with a few people drinking. Lily looks to the man at the counter. He grins at her. "If it ain't our scariest boxer," he says. "You gonna fight tonight?"
"...We'll see. For now, the usual private practice room. I'm bringing her with me. One hour."
The man--a muscled man in middle age, with a shaved head and a beard--looks her over. "All right. Go ahead. Usual fee."
After handing over some Gella, Lily leads Xantia then down into the basement... where they find a room past some barrels and she closes the door behind them. At that, she starts taking off her jacket easily, since her arms aren't in the sleeves--and grits her teeth to start undoing the back of her neckline so she can undress enough to show her arms. She's still wearing a slip beneath the black dress, of course, but in short order, her arms are visible; the right shows the patterns down to her now-bare fingertips, circuits in strange colors, red-orange and violet and gold and blue and deeper red, shifting into one another slowly. They extend all the way up past her shoulders to her clavicle, visible with the thin straps of her attire. ...The left would be the same... save that at the top, outside the bandages, the lines seem broken somehow, flickering in places, as well as under her elbow. The colors are... off, shifting more quickly.
Lily keeps her back to Xantia for the moment, and raises her hand before her. ...Again, sparks fly like a flame that won't light in her palm, and she shakes her head. "...This good enough?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
As much as Xantia takes gleeful notice of similarities, such as those between her and Fei, she doesn't seem to notice stark contrasts so much. Or if she does, it doesn't appear to matter to her at all. She interacts freely and easily with most people who aren't actively trying to kill her. Lily isn't any different. Standoffishness doesn't deter Xantia. Being quiet just means Xantia gets to be loud for the most of them. Xantia is the best at taking everything at face value, no help needed there. Isn't it a perfect complement?
She's also great at getting ahead of herself, so some reeling in can't hurt. But it's hard to curb her enthusiasm right now, as evident by her getting excuted all over again at the mention of the patterns being rare. "Yeah, they must be! I don't think I'd feel like this if they were a normal thing that you'd see anywhere. And that means it could be a really good clue about my past, too!" Is it any wonder she's ecstatic, getting to help someone and possibly herself, too? Win-win! Of course, when you really break it down, this too is an expression of desperation on her part. There are some similarities here, after all.
Xantia follows Lily readily, actively trying to not look at Dog too much. Even if she has plenty of self-control to not actually do anything unfortunate, it's still best to not give herself any cause to start thinking about it. Besides, there's plenty of other things in the area to direct her attention to. She doesn't frequent this part of the city so much. Too low a concentration of food, no doubt.
"Boxer?" She questions this new piece of information aloud when it's spoken, but doesn't say anything else, only giving the man behind the counter her usual carefree smile. Probably giving off the impression that she has no idea what she's getting into, which in a way is accurate. Only after they leave the counter behind and move to descend the stairs does she remark on this again. "I didn't know you were a boxer. Maybe you could teach me how it works! For some reason they weren't happy with me when I tried it..." I'm sure it's hard to imagine how it would make people upset to have One Punch Woman here involved in what's then no longer much of a boxing contest.
Xantia has no comment on the room itself, as it's only a means to an end. She's far more excited to get a clear view of those circuitry patterns, quick to declare, "Oh, this is good, this is helpful, I can see exactly what it's supposed to be like!" It helps that in her head, it just makes sense for it to look like that, as if it were a completed jigsaw puzzle.
It may be somewhat alarming how Xantia is suddenly right there beside Lily, moving silently yet speedily to get a closer look at the problematic arm, with a long, drawn-out, "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." It's not at all clear what she may be thinking of it, but it at least looks like she's seriously considering something. Then she suggests, "Well, if you know anything about these that you haven't told me yet, I'd like to know, that could help!" Her memory if nothing else, or so she hopes. "But I think I know what to do. Just..."
She looks away for a moment. It's hard for her to even consider discouragement when this is something she wants to try really badly, but she'd feel bad if she didn't say anything. She doesn't mask her genuine concern. "Lily... I said I think I know what to do, and I do, in a way, but you realize that I don't actually... know what I'm going to do, right?" She couldn't put it any more simple than that if she tried. It's not easy to understand for her, either. "So, if you want to stop... you should say something, okay?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Dog has no idea about these things... Probably. But she does tilt her head to look at Xantia a little bit as they go, panting cheerfully. Lily doesn't really have to do much; she just makes a motion with her fingers and there's the puppy following.
...That works, though; Lily for one appreciates people who fill the silence, who don't expect her to do so. But the walk doesn't take a whole lot of talking anyway. "That... makes sense," Lily allows about Xantia's assessment for memory, for her clues. "If it really is related to your past... Then I think we have some things to talk about," she points out.
Lily doesn't have more food to share at the moment. The man spots Xantia's smile once they're in though, laughs. "Yep," he answers, and goes back to his business.
"It's just something I do," Lily answers about boxing. "...It's good exercise. And helpful if you get in close with someone." A beat, "I can imagine they wouldn't like you much for it--you're like bringing a gun to a knife fight."
It is... moderately alarming that Xantia is just so close instantly, given Lily's relationship with personal space. She hers it's helpful but she hears it from too close--and she takes a slow breath, showing the patterns from a few different angles, twisting her good arm more and her injured arm less.
"They react to my magic," Lily explains when asked. "...It used to be that they'd only appear when I was using it, then one day they started sticking around. ...And taking up more space on my arms. They didn't used to go past the shoulders like this." She motions with her right hand. "But I've had them manifest since I was young."
A pause. She studies Xantia's eyes at the concern. "...I know," she answers. "But... I can't be without my magic," she admits, a little dullness in her eye for a moment, an anxiety that she rarely shows. "I'll take risks if I have to. ...And I don't think this is a large risk. Or else I'd have told Leon first."
"I'll let you know if I think you need to stop. Trust me."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It can be hard to tell if it means anything when Xantia is talking a lot or is exceptionally quiet. The latter has higher odds of something being wrong, but for the most part... Xantia just is. Trying to find logic in everything she does may be an exercise in futility. Those who can accept this tend to get along with her the best.
Generally speaking though, her heart is firmly on her sleeve, as it is today. She clearly looks forward to everything about this. Reservations do exist, but are not even close to holding her back, if she has her way. It'd be fair to say that Xantia's own reasons for wanting to do this are actually stronger than her wish to help Lily, as happy a coincidence as it is that she can do both. That much is clear from the undertones of desperation. "Anything related to my past, if there's any leads at all..." She doesn't even finish her spoken thoughts. She probably doesn't have to.
Yet even in this, she can be easily distracted and confused. The remark about boxing is what does it this time. "But... it's just fist fighting, right? There weren't any guns or knives..." Yes, about that figure of speech thing...
Lily's discomfort goes, probably as expected, completely unnoticed. Xantia may not even know the meaning of the word uncomfortable, it's not one that she's ever used to describe any situation. But at least she's keeping her hands to herself. For now. Inevitably, touching will be necessary her her to do anything.
"Hmmm..." Xantia considers Lily's situation, and concludes, "Well, if you've had them for that long, I guess it'd be normal for you." Perhaps a rather pointless statement coming from anyone else, but Xantia would have no idea how that feels, not being able to remember that far back. Was she always like this? A question that she's asked herself many times, and is still not really any closer to answering. So she can only offer the cheerful conjecture, "So it's probably nothing to worry about. It's just a part of who you are!"
Of course, that's only when it's actually working properly. The sense of not being able to do without something you've always had, that's not difficult to understand. Readily taking the claim that this isn't a large risk as a vote of confidence, she nods firmly. "Alright. Then... please stay as still as possible." She looks around a moment, then suggests, "We should probably sit. If something happens and you lose your balance..." That's a sentence she can't finish, because she has no idea. She just has a bad feeling about unexpected interruptions. This feeling is also telling her, "I think this is probably going to hurt a little."
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily reads people a little better than she lets on, but Xantia... Xantia just is. It's something she's noticed, and rather than trying to get her to act a particular way, she just makes the effort to look out for her. Lily is accustomed to some things that she cannot control. She's fine with that.
The fact that Xantia looks forward to it so much inspires some caution on the quieter woman's part. But the desperation is something she recognizes--...It gives her more reason to go ahead with it. Not that she would, if she didn't think...
"We'll talk," Lily says. "And we'll see. I know what it is, not to know where you come from," she admits. "...Originally. I was adopted; I have no idea where I was born, what my birth parents were like, what the first few years of my life before I can remember were like. It's not to the level that you're at... But maybe knowing that will help you."
As for fist fighting, "...It's a figure of speech," Lily explains, amused and with a shake of her head. "It means that you're stronger than they're prepared to deal with."
Touching will be necessary, but Lily isn't especially relishing it. She's already tense for that part. When Xantia speaks about it, it might be pointless... But no, it's not in this case. "That's a very simple way to look at it," Lily answers. "...It's hard for me to do."
A part of who she is... That's true.
"...I will," Lily answers, and then looks to Xantia with a thoughtful approach; the patterns continue to change colors, faintly. "All right." She takes her hurt arm carefully, and begins to sit down. "We wouldn't want that." She pauses. A feeling...
"I don't mind pain. It can hurt as much as it has to." Dog watches a little and then curls up at Lily's feet, while she sits cross-legged, arms bare. "Should I remove the bandages?" She offers her knife. "Cut them off if you have to." It's... a big knife. The Dog, meanwhile, whines a little in worry but then quiets.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia has a way of unintentionally making herself a mystery. It's probably hard to tell how well she is at reading people. She so often seems to fail at figuring out the most obvious things, and yet every once in a while will manage to be surprisingly insightful. At least her simple wish to be helpful in any way she can seems genuine enough, making it easy to believe that no matter what she says or does, she always means well.
Some caution is probably wise, all the same. Even leaving aside that very little is known about who Xantia actually is, she definitely is prone to overeagerness, and could easily end up doing more harm than good if she loses sight of what she was supposed to accomplish, or never knew the exact goal to begin with. See also: boxing competitor knocked into a different zip code.
But, now that it's come to this, that previous eagerness seems to have made way for something that at least resembles sensibility. She's calmer, at least. Quieter. Looking and sounding more serious. Perhaps she's mentally preparing herself, possibly without consciously realizing that's what she's doing. "I see... I guess that's sort of alike," she remarks on the matter of adoption. "I hope you at least knew that's what happened. In my experience... the uncertainty is the worst part."
And yet, the uncertainty that she should be feeling about what she is to do is just... absent. It simply feels like she knows what she needs to do. It's similar, and yet different from something else she commonly does. She rarely needs a very long recovery time after getting hurt, because she knows how to stimulate the natural healing process of her own body to rapidly recover from injuries. Though more difficult, this has proven to work on others too. The principle should be the same. There's just the additional hurdle of inorganic material involved. Machines can't be healed. But, when similar to and bonded with organic material... perhaps they can be fixed, in a way that resembles healing.
As a result of her mulling things over in her head, here's one of those quiet moments of Xantia's. Right up until Lily means removing the bandages. "Yes, let's do that," she agrees with a nod. No arguments against the knife, no hesitation in using it. Despite the abrupt action, the blade never touches the skin, or the wound below. Only once she sees that do some of Xantia's worries return, and she furrows her brow. It must hurt just to remove the bandages from such a wound, she realizes. Still, she persists in doing so. It'd be best to touch the skin directly. "...that looks pretty bad. I'm not sure if I can do everything at once... so I'm going to focus on getting the patterns fixed, okay?"
There's not much Xantia can do to prepare Lily. There's not much she can do to prepare herself. So she just goes ahead and does it. One hand moves to hold Lily's wrist, while she holds the other directly against the wound, pressing firmly on both ends. That's probably going to hurt plenty, and she hasn't even done anything yet.
With a deathly serious expression, Xantia regards Lily's arm for a moment, then closes her eyes. Visibly, all that happens at first is that her hands begin to glow. The sensation that flows into Lily's arm from Xantia's hands is warm at first, gentle, actually making the pain fade away a little. Run on the mill healing, simple groundwork before the big step. Or it would be run of the mill... but studying it closely and experiencing it directly, Lily is probably going to notice that there are certain similarities with her own spellcasting. If there was any doubt remaining, it should be quite clear now that the base nature of Xantia's power is the same: she's using Ether.
There isn't too much time to focus on this, as soon the white glow turns a brighter and brighter orange. This is no longer pure healing. Restoring a bond between flesh and machine can't be done through healing alone. It requires restructuring. Breaking warped bonds and reestablishing them properly. This would normally require surgery, of a kind far beyond Filgaia's level of technology. But, even though her closed eyes... Xantia can see what she needs to do quite clearly.
It just so happens that she was right and wrong about it. It does hurt. It doesn't hurt only a little. As it turns out, the sensation of cells within your body being rapidly disintegrated and reintegrated is incredibly excruciating. For an approximation, try to picture what it might feel like to have your blood abruptly replaced by sulfuric acid.
Xantia couldn't even fathom how this must feel. But she shows no sign of stopping. All she knows is that she's on the right track, that what she's doing will help. But how long will she need?
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily accepts it. ...The truth is that dealing with people is a skill that she's come to learn, but she does not have the same... way about her, that a different person might. ...Meaning well doesn't always end well, but Lily has already made her peace with that, made her statements. She's desperate enough to try, just as Xantia is desperate to know.
Caution, however, is something Lily has also learned; she tends to be most cavalier with her own body, her own health, her own injuries, however, and this is true here. She is not the type to trust easily... But Xantia is a comrade. Xantia is an ally. And Xantia... represents a hope that Lily needs.
"I didn't," Lily admits, "Until I was older. I forgot that I was adopted until they told me at sixteen. ...Ever since, I've wondered. I don't know that I'll ever have the chance to really try to find out. It just lingers, that not knowing."
She talks, and talks, more than she usually would; she is not the type to chatter when she is nervous for the most part, but the truth is that the terrifying sorceress is herself terrified of what could happen if she does not heal. It is a deep fear, lower than consciousness, of loss of the self, and she recognizes it only because she has worked with those who lose part of themsleves for some time.
Another thing that observant Xantia may notice is that underneath the patterns, Lily has no scars whatsoever, despite her years in combat. ...The wound itself indeed hurt just being exposed, and Xantia can see, if she looks, the way that Lily sets her lips together to avoid betraying that pain. "...if I'm fixed, I can heal the rest myself," Lily allows after a moment, speaking quietly, evenly. She takes back her knife when Xantia finishes, sets it down beside Dog. Her wrist is taken first; Lily opens her hand. The patterns themselves feel cold to the touch, smoother than skin, different from the flesh on which they sit. ...There is however a little sense of electricity in them at the moment, sparking, uncomfortable. The wound, of course, is ruined flesh and now open blood, and is as pleasant to touch as Xantia likely imagined it would be. Both do hurt, yes--Lily closes her eyes for an instant--and then opens them, turning slightly to look at Xantia's work. Warm, gentle... Healing, at first. Except--
She misses a breath as she stares in thought. "You're using..." But the glow turns brighter, and brighter, orange. Healing alone would not be enough for this. But--
Within an instant, Lily goes from mild discomfort to nearly undescribable agony, every nerve she has suddenly aflame as far as she can tell. The pain slams into her gut as she chokes for a moment, a cry that could've happened cut off by not breathing. Her fingers curl into fists, she lurches slightly foward, held up only by Xantia's strength; Dog whines at her, looking up in total, large-eyed worry.
How long? Lily is already losing the ability to consider time. She is trained to resist torture, but the way she stiffens and pales, this is mind-blanking.
The patterns themselves spark brighter for an instant as Xantia works; Dog drops back and scoots away as little rents in the air around Lily form, darkness bursting from nothing in a way that could be a problem; a pebble on the ground simply winks out of existence. ...But then the useful magic stops, and violet power crackles along Lily's form. "Aah!--"
She can't entirely hold it in; her eyes roll back, and her whole body starts to shake. "D-don't..." She can't quite get the words out.
There is a sense, as Xantia works, of knowledge of Lily's form; in restructuring, in what she needs to do... The truth is that Lily's body is far, far more infirm than it looks. This connection, these... machines, are not only a channel for Ether that makes it difficult to restrain Xantia's power; they seem to have a powerful effect on Lily's own health, seem to impact her on a deeper level than can be easily understood.
...Lily convulses a little more in the midst of the healing; she's almost entirely beyond thought, fingernails digging into her palms enough to bleed.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
That feeling of not knowing, always lingering, always somewhere at the back of your head... Xantia can't stand it, she absolutely can't allow herself to become too focused on it. It's far easier to focus on others in similar situations, leading her to strongly sympathize with Lily. But she doesn't say a word. She can't, right now. Getting too focused on the pain Lily already must be suffering will only make what she has to do even harder. Knowing it's necesssary doesn't exactly make it easier to knowingly cause pain to another.
When the other is a friend, anyway. She's rarely shown having a lot of trouble hurting those who hurt others. Situations have ended with her splattered with blood on more than one occasion, and that's not visibly bothered her any more than having to place her hand on Lily's wound does now, one notable exception in the Tournament of Arms notwithstanding. An unusual trait for someone who usually seems so carefree and innocent. Where does the amnesia end, and the real Xantia begin?
It's rare for her to look quite this focused and serious about something which - as far as anyone knows - isn't even something she specializes in. It's an extension of what she normally does at best, which most commonly displays in making her own body emit lightning, or rapid recovery of her own body. Her own body... that's what it all comes back to. That's where the difference must be - her Ether powers are specialized to work on the inside. She can punch people with lightning, but she's never thrown a single lightning bolt. She's healed people by touching them, but never from afar. Though this is by far the most complicated thing she's ever attempted, it all makes so much sense in her head. The full extent of what she could do to a person's body may be frightening indeed.
It's also a little frightening that seems it might be impossible to get Xantia to stop at this point. She doesn't appear to react to anything in the slighest. Lily's pain, her movements, the reactions from the patterns... she just remains sitting there, unmoving. Unmoving... and, if Lily can somehow manage enough presence of mind to take notice of it... not breathing. It's unclear when that stopped exactly, yet even that doesn't seem to affect Xantia's Ether-channeling, which continues unabated.
It all takes just long enough to start to wonder if Xantia is even still in there. Until suddenly... the pain subsides, strongly and abruptly, as the bright orange light emitted by Xantia fades back to white. Just healing, now. Though mostly internal, the wound on the surface benefits somewhat also. As Xantia said beforehand, that wasn't her focus, so for the time being, it's still not a pretty sight. The question is... was the rest of the operation successful enough to restore Lily's use of magic? And, as it turns out, her well-being in general? That can't be something that escaped Xantia's notice, given what she needed to do.
This however is not Xantia's primary concern at the moment, as she takes a sudden sharp intake of breath, eyes flying open at the same moment the glow fades from her hands entirely. Her hands immediately fly to her neck, grasping at the thick metal band covering her throat. It's easy to forget it's there, covered by the fastenings of the cloak she usually has tied around there. Even Xantia forgets about it sometimes, she's used to it. But at a time like this, gasping and coughing for breath, it must feel that much more constrictive.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily lets it go. The silence, usually, is comfortable for her. ...Less so right now. But she has discipline enough to keep herself together. Causing and receiving pain are just part of life, for her. Something she's learned to do, has become very, very good at. ...But it's different from Xantia's innocent approach, her means that seems like a switch, yes or not, her amnesia and her sense of self for what it is.
Lily can see how serious Xantia is--well, she could, for a few moments, anyway, before she stopped being able to see anything. Their abilities are different in that way; Lily can act on herself, but most of her power shows acting on the world around her, acting on others; conjuring fire, bringing forth darkness, calling up ice from the air. ...But there is something to be said for the internal; what Xantia is doing already could easily be called frightening.
Lily is held in place by those unmoving hands, her arm at least, and she notices that Xantia will not stop. ...It's a good thing in a way, because Lily doesn't want this to cut off just because of pain, but her thoughts can't connect in chains like that; only her anti-torture training lets her think in fragments at all.
She can't focus on the Ether in the air, she notices but does not comprehend Xantia not breathing; Lily herself is breathing heavily, gasping here and there, until the pain subsides, and it becomes clear that there are tears in Lily's eyes, down her face, an autonomous reaction that never happens with her. Was the operation successful?
The light fades to white. Just healing, and her insides need it after all of that, and for other reasons besides. Lily still can't talk for a moment, not until the glow fades. She looks to Xantia as her arms are let go, Lily herself falling most of the way before she supports herself on her good arm, "Xan--"
She can't quite get it out, shakes her head, "<Are you all-->" The words in Zeboim come next, as Lily finds herself still too dazed to function, putting a hand on Xantia's arm in an instant.
She often misses the collar. But Xantia can see, if she looks; the patterns on Lily's left arm have changed. ...They are whole, by her clavicle, below her elbow... and faded, in the space between, disappearing before touching her wound.
A faint red glow passes from Lily's hand, the ghost of healing magic, and her markings light up red--but she can't quite make it go more than that before she starts to slip, falling against Xantia in almost a swoon. "Are.. you...."
Talking is a little hard for now.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It takes a moment for Xantia to manage to catch her breath, but in the end, shortness of breath seems to be the only issue. Somehow, she even manages to smile while still half-choking as Lily touches her arm, noticing the results of her efforts. Her skin has turned very cold, compared to when they started. But she's clearly thinking of Lily before herself right now. She doesn't even care to try and go over things in her head to see if this helped her remember anything. Beyond her ability to smile even while coughing like mad. She definitely doesn't have the mental faculties to even begin to parse she was spoken to in a weird language just now.
Just when she's finally caught her breath, Xantia also catches Lily, though she's wholly unsteady herself. That seemingly endless strength seems to have failed her right now, leaning into Lily as much as Lily is leaning into her. "Did it... did it work?" It looks like it worked. That's good. That means she can feel more okay with complaining about herself. Her breath is fine now, but... "So tired... so hungry..." And, as Lily has undoubtedly noticed by now, "I feel... cold?"
The confusion in Xantia's voice is not just because she's suffering this condition now. It's because she's never suffered it before. She's always going around in shorts and a sleeveless shirt, and not once has she appeared at all cold. Looks like that may also have something to do with her Ether ability, and she's well and truly exhausted herself with this effort.
She immediately decides that being cold sucks, and she should only ever tire herself out as much as she did today for a really important reason. Lily counts, of course. She wouldn't have done this otherwise.
But seriously, being cold sucks.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Xantia's recovery is a relief; the way she thinks of Lily first brings Lily a pang of something like guilt, but not quite guilt. She is not accustomed to being the one healed. She notes the cooler temperature, looks to Xantia's face to see if she can identify a problem... But she's caught, and finds herself holding up Xantia a little too, mostly by virtue of her position and physics rather than anything intentional.
"I... think it..." Lily nods a little, at Xantia's question. "Doesn't feel as... bad." She's still trying to catch her own breath, though she notices the way Xantia is tired, and hungry, and--
Lily actually laughs slightly, obvious since she's practically hugging Xantia despite the low volume, at that. "You can wear my jacket," she offers. "...I'll... pay for some lunch for you if we can get back to my hotel. But I..."
Yes, being cold sucks. A very important reason, huh?
"Thank... Thank you. I think I just..." She inclines her head, closing her eyes, "Need some rest..."
Her patterns glint away. ...There are no sparks.