2018-02-23: The Whims of Fate

From Dream Chasers
Jump to: navigation, search

============================<* Gunsmoke Desert *>=============================

The Gunsmoke Desert occupies the northwestern portion of Ignas. This desert is different from Aveh's. Instead of rolling dunes of sand, it has dry and cracked ground, and the mountains that rim it also intrude into the interior, forming stunning rock formations that can look as beautiful as they look impossible. The settlements here are hard-pressed to survive, consisting of countless small towns. The lucky few are connected by railways to the Seed Cities scattered about the Gunsmoke. Many are lost to the sands, which cover them and a tremendous concentration of ruins from Filgaia's past. This makes these badlands the heart of Drifter activity in Ignas.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z_CxmE0AkA
<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        There is a Ruin out there that continually shifts through the sands.

        It is a Ruin of no small mystery, untrackable even by complex geospatial systems and satellite imagery for those in the know -- it is an ancient, Zeboim-era mechanical mansion known only to Drifters as Fortune Gear, said to house parlours offering games of chance the likes of which are not seen in today's casinos...

        How does one get there, you may ask?

        Well... the last Drifters to have come here appear to have just camped outside of a random side of the road when it popped up next to them, for starters! Indeed, no measure of planning, strategy or searching will help you against the powers of Chapapanga.

        Only by submitting oneself into the throes of luck can one truly find Fortune Gear...

        Which is why it's only at the exact moment that Yarobeleedt exasperately gives up from his expansive searches upon the desert does there come a thrumming--

        WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP

        --is he just hearing it?

        WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP BOOM

        --nope, the drill-headed mechanical mansion just -erupts- out of the ground and probably sends the poor Metal Demon tumbling, its parlour doors open. It evokes a lost sense of time that no modern dweller of Filgaia would be familiar with, though Space Boy Claude C. Kenny may conveniently know of its style as "feudal Japan", with its paper sliding doors and tatami mats and the shakuhachi and koto playing, just to add to the pizzazz of high-stakes gambling.

        There is an enormous Gear-sized roulette wheel at this chamber, as well as giant steel balls that probably could flatten you outright if it rolled you over.

        And somewhere in here, the Statue of Luck...

        Oh, actually, it's just sitting at the centre of the wheel, resplendent in gold and with a :D face to accompany Chapapanga's usual popular depiction:

        ( https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/wildarms/images/0/05/WA2ChapapangaArt.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20100217022046 )

        What do you do?

<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER STATUE yadda yadda yadda we've been there plenty of times
        By the time anyone else comes in, there is a yellowish metal slug-booger-whatever whose blobby rear end is currently affixed by some means to one part of an enormous roulette wheel, caught spinning and spinning as they flail, screech, and become increasingly unsure as to whether this sensation is frustrating and sickening or actually kind of fun? The spinning comes to a hard stop, and the poor serpent-horror-thing woozily dislodges themselves.
        "Is fun to you? Is fun one you? Is fun zero!!" Okay, that answers that question then, he didn't enjoy it. A forearm morphs into a sword-like protrusion, swinging dizzily at the air threateningly as they crawl ever forward towards the gold-plated smiling tiny figure that is Chapapanga's statue.
        The last accessible seal upon Mother to be found in the Badlands, all alone, save for that aberration. Just as he comes close for the kill...
        The wheel spins again, shunting Yarobeleedt into one pocket as it and the giant steel balls roll around. Now might be someone else's chance to get close, while there isn't like the Quarter Knights, Crucible, Kislev, Aveh, Gebler, Valmar, Veruni, or anything else trying to all descend upon this at once for whatever nefarious end!
        (They could also stand and bet on whether Yarobeleedt gets squished by a ball. Chapapanga would probably abide by that too.)

<Pose Tracker> Claude C. Kenny has posed.

Claude C. Kenny was, for the record, going out for a churro*; when he stumbled upon Chapapanga's shrine. He left his hotel in November City and decided to take a shortcut through an alley.**; This led to a wrong turn, which led to several wrong turns, which led to...

"...wait, what?" he asks, staring up at a Ruin he's never seen before. He considers going back for a moment, then figures it may be DESTINY***; at work or something like that! He settles his weapons belt (which he's wearing because, well, stuff tends to go down on short notice on Cow Patty Planet) and marches in through the door. This reveals...

"...wait, does November City have a Chinatown?" asks Claude, who, despite being a student of qigong and kung fu both, is not terribly in touch with his ancient Earth cultures. "Man, I could murder a bowl of belalugosi."****; He steps forward to look around the room for a stall, but stops as he notices the giant roulette wheel. With the giant Guardian statue. Specifically, a Guardian statue of...

get wrecked boy from earth

"Oh God I'm so boned," Claude groans as he draws his sword. He sprints toward the wheel, his blade licking out to fire a whistling vacuum blade in the Metal Demon's direction.

  • - Actually six churros, although half were for Cecilia.
    • - And also some guy's kitchen, thanks to lax November City civil planning.
      • - Or a really, really trolly Guardian, which is functionally the same thing.
        • - He means bulgogi.*****
          • - Which is Korean.
GS: Claude C. Kenny has attacked Yarobeleedt with Air Slash!
GS: Claude C. Kenny has completed his action.
GS: CRITICAL! Yarobeleedt takes a glancing hit from Claude C. Kenny's Air Slash for 82 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.

Lydia has no idea what Claude's talking about but she is eating a churro. Two of them are in her hands and two of them are for Lydia Seren. She has probably pointed out her identity as Asteroid the Kid to him offscreen so he doesn't go ????? at her forever. She is too busy eating her churro to make comments on Claude's babbledy boop and is eating churro up until Claude launches an AIR SLASH at Yarobeleedt. Luckily today, today is the day that Claude gets to have Lydia's help instead of having meteors launched at him from Lydia.

"Why are you boned?" Lydia asks, eventually. "You have a * PRODIGY SUMMONER * with you." Whatever that means since she actually just has bronze mediums and two guardians to choose from like every other Shaman.

Naturally she starts by summoning a large rock shaped in the form of Asteroid the Kid's face (not that Lydia has an asteroid the kid face anymore) which she promptly kicks for Yaro's head without even asking him to politely desist or anything.

"It'll actually be nice to not have to engage in a life or death battle to save a statue anymore." She says.

GS: Lydia Seren has attacked Yarobeleedt with Asteroid Ball!
GS: Lydia Seren has completed her action.
GS: Yarobeleedt guards a hit from Lydia Seren's Asteroid Ball for 55 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Fortune Gear - Jacqueline's been there once before. It sure didn't make itself easy to find. In the end, it would be more accurate to say that it found her, though she used her coin to help lead the way.

With Fortune Gear, the name of the game was 'leave it to luck'. And that's what Jacqueline does this time - she just points herself in one direction and keeps driving, and whenever she comes to any kind of road, flips a coin and goes in whichever direction it decides.

And in that way, she sees it - that golden monument to games of chance and terrible life decisions. She makes her way inside only to find...

That she isn't alone!

Claude and Lydia are here too, and so is Yarobeleedt...who will immediately find a bottle of black liquid hurled at him.

"I had a feeling that I should try to find my way back here. Looks like it was right..." Jacqueline says. There's a moment of hesitation - or is it a beat?

"...On the money."

...Oh. It's the latter. At least she looks kind of embarrassed at her stupid joke and glad that Shalune and Lunata aren't here to hear it, as she glances toward the Statue of Chapapanga in the center of the wheel.

GS: Jacqueline Barber has attacked Yarobeleedt with Cancelling Cocktail!
GS: Jacqueline Barber has completed her action.
GS: Yarobeleedt takes a solid hit from Jacqueline Barber's Cancelling Cocktail for 0 hit points!
GS: Mute! Statuses applied to Yarobeleedt!
<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        Have random encounter, even if the random encounter has boss music, will AIR SLASH. Claude's sense of timing is something to celebrate - or at least, just lucky - as Yarobeleedt's latest tumble across the wheel carries him in the route of the slicing vacuum wave that abruptly lifts him off of his current course and sees him tumbling dangerously close to the center!!!
        ...Just missing the statue, of course, lucky thing that it is....
        ...And raising his arms up threateningly as a meteor head plants itself on his skull. It's cocked to his left, but for the moment, it takes over his normal face. He whines and complains incessantly, like such.
        "Forsooth! Thine ham-handed approach to our disagreements is frankly barbaric and ghastly!" ...No, he doesn't say that, but if someone were doing funny mock subtitles, the grousing and screeching could meaningfully be interpreted as that. Jacqueline's black liquid bottle misses him and hits the ground ahead.
        The wheel shifts a bit and he slithers over it, slipping somehow and flopping into it as the rock falls off his head.
        "Always get way! Always get way. Inoutupdownfrontback there is all ways then just mine??" The good news is, the balls have rolled in such a way - for the moment - that he couldn't turn around and go be a dumb slug monster at the statue.
        The bad news is that he's been deposited close to the three of them as he morphs his arms into misshapen pointy stabby things, thrusting and stabbing into them in a rapid but haphazard way.
        "Silly! Silly silly! You are too silly!" That's... strong language? Is 'silly' some kind of f-word tier insult among Metal Demons? Let's worry about that later, there's stabs.

GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Claude C. Kenny with Sue Tabbing!
GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Lydia Seren with Sue Tabbing!
GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Jacqueline Barber with Sue Tabbing!
GS: Yarobeleedt has completed its action.
GS: Claude C. Kenny takes a solid hit from Yarobeleedt's Sue Tabbing for 94 hit points!
GS: Jacqueline Barber takes a glancing hit from Yarobeleedt's Sue Tabbing for 91 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        It's all right, Jacqueline. Lunata and Shalune may not be here for it, but for some mysterious reason, a sting plays loudly right after she says it, and the Statue of Chapapanga...

        ...actually begins moving and puts a pair of shades on. Yeahhhhhhhhh?

        "Boy from Earth, Boy from Earth!" the Statue exclaims, bobbling left and right. "RED (heads) or BLACK (tails)? Choose wiiiiiiiiiisely!"

        Indeed, the statue seems to just continue getting missed by Yarobeleedt, who doesn't seem to be able to reach through to the centre of the roulette wheel despite its cackling. Is it... asking you to play a game of chance? Even now?!

GS: Lydia Seren guards a hit from Yarobeleedt's Sue Tabbing for 52 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Claude C. Kenny has posed.

Claude C. Kenny blinks. "Uh.... heads?" he asks, then returns to the fight.

<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        Fanfare music plays, like the kind you'd hear if you just got a Key Item. It bounces next to Jacqueline, perhaps. "Protect me! I'm useful!" it exclaims. Well, it just got harder for Yarobeleedt to reach the statue, certainly, given how agile and fleeting it is...

<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        "What?" Yarobeleedt asks as a ball goes into a red pocket. He tries to fix this, of course, by nudging it over with a whip-like strike of one arm, but then another larger ball batters into him and pushes him further away from Jacqueline.

<Pose Tracker> Claude C. Kenny has posed.

"Yeah!" Claude shouts, turning and pumping his fist in a victory pose. "That guess was somewhere around 80 points!"

It is then that the multiple stabs come in, because Claude C. Kenny IS STILL IN A FIGHT, YO! The Boy from Earth yowls as several spears jab into his jacket (where they don't penetrate, because his Federation armourweave is some total BS) and one carves a lone across his cheekbone. Roaring a battle cry, Claude twists his arm around the stabby tentacles, trying to tie them tightly around his sword arm, trapping it (and them) together.

It is then that his left hand - free of both tentacles and sword - begins unloading roughly a hojillion punches, each strike flickering blue-yellow fire.

GS: Claude C. Kenny has attacked Yarobeleedt with Meteor Palm!
GS: Claude C. Kenny has completed his action.
GS: Yarobeleedt critically Guards a hit from Claude C. Kenny's Meteor Palm for 23 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.

"Boy from Earth, boy from Earth!" Lydia shouts as well because the Guardian is calling him that and now it's in Lydia's head.

She raises up her metal arm, blocking several metal demon stabs, but some strikes slip past her guard and slice her across her body.

"By the way, is like true perfect randomization really 'luck'?" Lydia wonders aloud. "Because at that point it's just math, isn't luck about beating the odds? And if you flip a coin, mathematically even if it comes up tails all the time, it could still be a 50 percent chance of getting tails--"

She fires a pair of portals into the roulette wheel that Yaro is stuck in, trying to send him tumbling into a more tumultous part of the roulette wheel because really Lydia's kind of a jerk sometimes.

"Don't worry Claude!" Lydia shouts. "I can seal the statue if I get close to it!"

Then...then why are you just beating up Yaro some more, Lydia?

...Lydia doesn't answer that question.

GS: Lydia Seren has attacked Yarobeleedt with Freefall!
GS: Lydia Seren has completed her action.
GS: Yarobeleedt takes a solid hit from Lydia Seren's Freefall for 123 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

The statue bounces next to Jacqueline and...it speaks to her? Well, she was planning to protect it anyway, but if it was asking so nicely.

"Okay then...Grudiev, please!" She exclaims, drawing her Medium from her bags.

She calls upon the Guardian's power...

...But it's as if someone pressed a [SKIP] button somewhere, because the big CGI Summon Sequence doesn't play.

Still, the Statue's golden sheen will become that much brighter...it's like it's been encrusted with diamonds, thanks to the power of Grudiev!

There's some extra rock and stone left over from the skipped summon sequence as well...and Jacqueline gladly invokes a Crest to send it flying toward Yarobeleedt!

GS: Jacqueline Barber has attacked Statue of Luck with Material - Earthen Embrace!
GS: Jacqueline Barber has completed her action.
GS: Shield! Statuses applied to Statue of Luck!
GS: Jacqueline Barber heals Statue of Luck! It gains 200 temporary hit points!
GS: Jacqueline Barber has attacked Yarobeleedt with Rubble-Rouser!
GS: Jacqueline Barber has completed her action.
GS: Yarobeleedt guards a hit from Jacqueline Barber's Rubble-Rouser for 52 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        Claude is a perfectly ordinary traveler who is decked out in amazing space equipment and is an amazing martial artist also a prophesized Hero of Light or something or another. Yarobeleedt is a gross, half-melted, incomprehensible alien horror that does not belong upon the face of Filgaia in any way, shape, or form. Both are tactically down to one arm.
        They are slapfighting, a swishing tentacle-y forearm slapping at the punching hands while looking away and screeching every so often as neither one seems to get the upper hand on the other beyond putting forth a fantastic display of supreme speed.
        Then Lydia breaks it up and teleport-dumps him to another part of the roulette board to put him in time-out, where he can sit and be rolled over by the roulette balls a few times and think about what he did. He might be disappointed about the CGI skip but he is in a panic as he tries to slither back over yonder, flailing arms as rocks fly at him. They shatter and batter him with their smaller halves, but he's still racin' at 'em...
        "You start give statue!" He keeps racing towards them. Somehow, his footing seems worse than theirs as the roulette board spins up. His breathing gets heavier, tongue lolling out and flapping faster as unpleasant liquid matter drips off the tongue...!
        He eventually gives out and flops over from fatigue, which is nice! Now he can't come at them in a full assault from that direction.
        But then a sprawled-out, stretched-out, borderline passed-out Yarobeleedt becomes a hazard they'll need to jump over or redirect when he just starts tumbling up behind them.
        Jerk statue.

GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Claude C. Kenny with Toe Ripping!
<DICE ROLLER> Lunata Croze rolled 1d13 <12> + 0 = 12
GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Lydia Seren with Toe Ripping!
GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Jacqueline Barber with Toe Ripping!
GS: Yarobeleedt has completed its action.
GS: Jacqueline Barber takes a solid hit from Yarobeleedt's Toe Ripping for 89 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Lunata Croze has posed.

        The Statue flies out of the throes of Grudiev's power, newly studded with bling-bling and diamonds as it next lands on Lydia's head.

        "'Luck' is only a concept you humans chose to define."

        It bobs to one side, still blingy.

        "So is math, come to think of it! All attempts to understand a cold and infinite universe?? Why would it land you here if not chance, right, Boy from Earth??"

        A pause.

        "Anyway! Yarobeleedt, my -favorite-!" Just as the Metal Demon seems like he's going to keel right over from exhaustion, cackling as it actually floats down and goes riiiight in front of the half-melted, incomprehensible blob.

        A shimmering card emerges, revealing: A King. A two-headed king with a sword, which might make about as much comprehensible sense as Yarobleeedt, come to think of it.

        "HIGH or LOW??"

GS: Lydia Seren guards a hit from Yarobeleedt's Toe Ripping for 55 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        A dazed, exhausted Yarobeleedt looks up as he hears the name, he sees the statue hold up a card. His eyes blink irregularly.
        "Hello?!" That's... 'high.' Oh my god. How do they mess that up in the script? The context is there. Why couldn't an editor catch it and change it for him to say 'HIGH'? Seriously.
        Ugh.
<DICE ROLLER> Statue of Luck rolled 1d13 <3> + 0 = 3

<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        A second shimmering card emerges, revealing: A Three).

        "I like those that don't mind betting on the long shot!! But alas! Drifterssss..." the annoying statue drifts off and out of sight of Yarobeleedt before he can even do anything. "Protect me~"

        Looks like it's not particular about anyone this time...

<Pose Tracker> Claude C. Kenny has posed.

Claude C. Kenny advances forward!

By like two steps, so he can wrap his arm around the statue. "Ook-lay, ude-day," he whispers between gritted teeth. "Ixnay on the oy-bay from Earth-yay, okay-yay?" he asks. Claude gives the statue a MANLY CLASP ON THE SHOULDER that maybe makes it tougher against punches, or something. Look, he's not a scientist.

His next step is to fire a hadouken in the direction of Yarobeleedt's sign. Not the Demon itself, but the sign, perhaps trying to cheat the Metal Demon out of future guessing opportunities. What a jerk!

GS: Claude C. Kenny guards a hit from Yarobeleedt's Toe Ripping for 53 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Claude C. Kenny has posed.

Claude C. Kenny engages in the sickest sissy slapfight known to man or alien. It is totally sweet, and also totally dumb. And then, stumbling over Yaro's supine form, he ADVANCES FORWARD!

By like two steps, so he can wrap his arm around the statue. "Ook-lay, ude-day," he whispers between gritted teeth. "Ixnay on the oy-bay from Earth-yay, okay-yay?" he asks. Claude gives the statue a MANLY CLASP ON THE SHOULDER that maybe makes it tougher against punches, or something. Look, he's not a scientist.

His next step is to fire a hadouken in the direction of Yarobeleedt's sign. Not the Demon itself, but the sign, perhaps trying to cheat the Metal Demon out of future guessing opportunities. What a jerk!

GS: Claude C. Kenny has attacked Statue of Luck with BRO MODE ACTIVE!
GS: Claude C. Kenny has completed his action.
GS: Claude C. Kenny has attacked Yarobeleedt with Signicide!
GS: Claude C. Kenny has completed his action.
DC: MISS! Statue of Luck completely evades BRO MODE ACTIVE from Claude C. Kenny!
GS: Yarobeleedt takes a solid hit from Claude C. Kenny's Signicide for 28 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.

"Oh sorry," Lydia says, lowering her voice in an aside to Claude. "Are you using your alien language now?" She is referring to the pig latin of course. What a strange alien language.

She is lectured by Chapa...chapana.... The Guardian of Luck. She says, "So you're saying... luck has no definition... to you, the Guardian of Luck?"

She thinks it over and then says, "...Damn!! That's awesome!" Her eyes widen. "That means you can do whatever the fuck you want and nobody can complain!!"

She points a finger at Yaro. "...So in the name of Luck, I'm going to--WAAAUGH!"

Yaro crashes into her and sends her flying into the air, minus shoes which get left behind.

Lydia channels Solais Emsu next, firing a SOLAR BURST for Yaro's....face!

"Take this! SOLAR BURST!!"

The 'sky' around Lydia shines ever more brightly as it tries to get right into the metal demon's eyes.

"I wanna play too! Pick me pick me!" Lydia begs.

GS: Lydia Seren has attacked Yarobeleedt with Solar Burst!
GS: Lydia Seren has completed her action.
GS: Yarobeleedt takes a solid hit from Lydia Seren's Solar Burst for 84 hit points!
GS: Break! Statuses applied to Yarobeleedt!
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Luck is also pretty fickle, as it turns out. Our heroes unleash their barrage on Yarobeleedt...only to send him rolling at them. Jacqueline isn't expecting this.

"A-ah!" She's tripped face-forward as he goes rolling and what's worse, her glasses go flying. They land neatly in a roulette slot. They're not broken, thank goodness. She starts crawling toward them, hoping to reclaim them...

But then the roulette wheel shifts at the worst possible time, causing her glasses to go flying again.

"That's just rude..." She murmurs, then whirls on the blur that is Yarobeleedt.

"I'll give you a statue!" She replies, invoking her Crest and causing a pillar to shoot out toward him!

...Well, okay, it's more like somewhere in his general vicinity. She can't really see well without her glasses...

...Which she quickly hurries to reclaim. Thankfully for Claude, she may be a little too preoccupied to think too much on the 'Boy From Earth' thing.

GS: Jacqueline Barber has attacked Yarobeleedt with Pillar Not-Quite-Crash!
GS: Jacqueline Barber has completed her action.
GS: Yarobeleedt guards a hit from Jacqueline Barber's Pillar Not-Quite-Crash for 56 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        Yarobeleedt looks too pooped to be angry about being told off in the latest game of chance. Good thing he gets a nice, warm, welcoming BLAST OF GUARDIAN SKY LASERS TO THE FACE to wkae him up and get himself all angry again. He starts to flail and screech as he rushes at them half-blinded... three-quarters blinded... five-eighths blinded... whatever, precision math is for losers and card counters.
        Then Jay's pillar comes up and stops him with a 'thunk,' and Claude hadoukens Yaro's picture. The slimy thing crawls on top of the pillar, looks behind him, and drops his jaw.
        "What! No carnivaaaaaaallll!!" He whines. Lydia intuits what luck means to luck itself, and Yarobeleedt seethes from his temporary perch. "Fees! Fees. Then play without soap!! That is what I do."
        From his maw, he horks up a stream of bile that may be poisonous to the touch, but more importantly, generally does awful things to armor. If not in terms of 'maybe ruin armor,' more 'laundry sessions to clean it is double-digits minimum.' This is bad enough to have vomited all over them, though some... parts of it feel solid, like this might have been once a manifestation of some other kind of weapon? Anyway now it's just gross alien vomit.
        Alien vomit that has just enough solid form behind it to roll about the roulette wheel too for its lifetime of being a packed ball o' pukey gunk, staining each and every roulette pocket.
        Now all the roulette spaces are tinged a sicky, bubbly, acrid-smelling YELLOW.
        "Fufufu." Chortles a dessicated-looking Yarobeleedt, whose body still sickly pulsates and churns whatever metallic biomass just won't stay put in the proper shape it should. "No RED. But also no BLACK." He starts to grind his forearms together to a sound akin to chalkboard nail screeching. "What you pick now? If no RED or BLACK there? Always get wrong. Then Yarobeleedt show Chapapanga cancellation!!" This seems like a solid plan with absolutely no downfalls or workarounds whatsoever.
        "Spin ball. It is canine dare!!"

GS: Yarobeleedt has activated a Force Action!
GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Claude C. Kenny with Pail Faes!
GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Lydia Seren with Pail Faes!
GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Jacqueline Barber with Pail Faes!
GS: Jacqueline Barber takes a glancing hit from Yarobeleedt's Pail Faes for 33 hit points!
GS: Shieldbreak! Statuses applied to Jacqueline Barber!
<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        The Statue, as it would seem, deftly slips out of Claude's manhandling, perhaps not quite up to speed on the 'bro', or perhaps it has other ideas. Alas, Claude, a beautiful man-to-man friendship could've been birthed there!! "Ooh... I didn't think it was on the ix-nay given your... 'Sword' of 'Light', Hero!" There's a loud snickering that sounds suspiciously like a hoarse mutt. Though to be fair, Claude's probably been very careful and the Guardian's just extremely judgemental. But enough about that.

        "'Guardian of Luck' is only a title you humans gave me. And your kind has prayed to me since ancient times for all manner of wild things, whether a sunny precipice, a successful sale, or a good marriage."

        There's a cackle from the Statue again, as if it finds the idea utterly foolish... but amusing, nonetheless.

        "And when luck does not go your way... you call it 'fate' instead. A convenient scapegoat. 'Lament your fate'. 'Curse your luck'.""

        It's distracted from its musing as Yarobeleedt gets up to something and just-- ruins Fortune Gear's roulette wheel, the shiny silver rim now stained with an awful, acidic globule of YELLOW. It pauses for a moment.

        "You wanted to play, Lydia! RED or BLACK?"

GS: Claude C. Kenny takes a glancing hit from Yarobeleedt's Pail Faes for 34 hit points!
GS: Shieldbreak! Statuses applied to Claude C. Kenny!
GS: Lydia Seren takes a glancing hit from Yarobeleedt's Pail Faes for 38 hit points!
GS: Shieldbreak! Statuses applied to Lydia Seren!
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.

Lydia says, "Black!!" as she starts plummeting down from the sky again. "No...R---Just kidding! Black!"

She doesn't actually have any buffs to use guys.

(the rest of her pose will be added shortly)

<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        Very predictably, the steel ball rolls and rolls and lands on a... well, YELLOW-bellied square!! A burst of confetti erupts from the ceiling and probably gets itself stuck all over Yarobeleedt, who probably finds it repulsive and disgusting rather than a cause for celebration.

        "Come straight at me, metal slug!!" the statue exclaims as, much to the horror of the Drifters, Chapapanga's statue honors its deal and floats right in front of Yarobeleedt, ready to get whacked. At least Jay's armour is upon it...

<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        "Silly!!" Yarobeleedt cackles, then coughs. Wow, maybe he shouldn't... have ejected that much mass, but the sheer joy of his attempt at rigging the game going his way is met with opportunism in spades as he flashes out both arms again into straight-edged piercing needles that are far smoother than he usually manages, looking upon the floating statue with glee as he stabs and stabs and stabs and stabs away.
        His rock perch is moving. The statue's floating location is fixed. He lets his lower body stretch as far as he can to keep stabbing at it until he no longer can, comically flopping off and then flailing helplessly at the air where the statue continues to float.
        Jerk statue. But he might chip away a not small amount of Jay's protection...!

GS: Yarobeleedt has activated a Force Action!
GS: Yarobeleedt has attacked Statue of Luck with Faint Hard!
GS: Statue of Luck takes a solid hit from Yarobeleedt's Faint Hard for 159 hit points!
GS: Yarobeleedt has completed its action.
<Pose Tracker> Claude C. Kenny has posed.

Chapapanga's taunting of Claude C. Kenny is doing nothing to disabuse the young man of his theory that the Guardians are giant trolls. But he promised Cecilia he wouldn't taunt them, so he just flushes out of embarrassment and frustration instead. This embarrassment is heightened eveer further when Yaro...well, yacks all over his one-of-a-kind uniform.

"Oh my God whyyyyyyyyy!" Claude moans, trying to shake himself off. He opens his mouth to complain again, stops, then yells louder. "Aw man, I got some in my MOUTH! AUGH!" The young man stops, drops, and rolls, which doesn't do much because he's not on fire. Eventually he gets back to his feet, eyes blazing, and darts after the variably-formed Metal Demon. "YAAAAAAAAH!" he shouts, leaping off Chapapanga's head, then drops down toward Yaro with a powerful two-handed chop. As he lands, he pivots, and slashes across his body with a second swing.

GS: Claude C. Kenny has attacked Yarobeleedt with Twin Slash!
GS: Claude C. Kenny has completed his action.
DC: MISS! Yarobeleedt completely evades Twin Slash from Claude C. Kenny!
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.

Lydia is promptly knocked out of the sky by a stream of bile. "Gyuhhhhhhhhhh!" She goes flying. "Heey! You cheater! I'll show you yellow!"

She crashes to the ground and bounces a few times. "...Though doesn't that just mean we can just say 'yellow' from now on whenever it's our turn?"

She flips back up to her feet. "If that's the case..."

She launches her own asteroid ball. "Instead of yellow, instead of red or black... This one... will land on Yaro!"

She throws the asteroid for Yaro, as if the rock itself was a roulette ball. "Ten gella on Yaro!!"

She drips in the meanwhile.

GS: Lydia Seren has attacked Yarobeleedt with Asteroid Ball!
GS: Lydia Seren has completed her action.
GS: Yarobeleedt takes a glancing hit from Lydia Seren's Asteroid Ball for 53 hit points!
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Yarobeleedt is the worst. Jacqueline has felt this for a while now. This becomes even more evident when he - eww - hurls all over the roulette wheel - and her, too.

She's had just about enough of that.

Apparently this counts, because the Statue lets Yarobeleedt get a swing at it, too.

"W-well...you did say it meant he could do whatever he wanted..." Jacqueline admits with a helpless shrug toward Lydia.

She still hasn't reclaimed her glasses, but at the very least they weren't in the roulette wheel when Yarobeleedt...

...Did his thing.

She moves toward them again, but first she draws out a Crest.

"I've had about enough of you." She says, sending a bolt of lightning crashing down toward him!

GS: Jacqueline Barber has attacked Yarobeleedt with Lightning Strike!
GS: Jacqueline Barber has completed her action.
<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.

"That just means I can do whatever I want too!" Lydia says.

Of course that seems to mostly be violence.

DC: MISS! Yarobeleedt completely evades Lightning Strike from Jacqueline Barber!
<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        Hard to imagine, but Yarobeleedt looks like he's seen better days with just how much of himself seems less 'smooth blobby' and more 'wrinkly blobby.' His mistranslated cackling seems to just embolden him that much as he evades flaming swords and electrical strikes of anger outright, striding and slithering about the board and smoothly around roulette balls as though he owned the place.
        He helps himself to the very center of the wheel, as a rock bounces off the side of his head as he just misses ducking it.
        A shiny ten gella coin pops out of the point of impact upon Yarobeleedt and rolls towards Lydia! ...But then it skips past a loading zone out of reach, goes out of bounds, and then manages to run the Lost July dungeon with a glitched, 0-stat phantom party member and it's not really worth dwelling on that weirdness any further. She technically won the ten gella bet and that's that, she can go retrieve that... much later in the game, at her own risk.
        Let's worry about the present.
        "Roll roll roll roll!" Yarobeleedt encourages, rearing his arms up into the air. He doesn't motion to attack them. Time's on his side now! "No RED or BLACK! But you keep select? Select selection cost election!! ^Unlucky Dudian^ keep come to me..."
        Of course he'd conserve his strength to keep going for the statue, then, if he stands with confidence that it will now always go to him, unless... someone can break through the trick?!

<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        -doinggg-

        At the very least, Chapapanga's gold and somewhat-diamond studded head proves to be a pretty effective stepping step for Claude to leap off off, bobbling from one side to another as it looks at Yarobeleedt with something approaching-- well, no, it's just the same expressive :D that seems kind of ominous given the position that they're all in.

        Yarobeleedt's stabbing keeps piercing, over and over and over against it, and several chunks of the statue's seeming gold skin flies off in flecks, primarily guarded by the dusting of diamond from Grudiev.

        And then it flips up, up and out of sight, apparently deciding that that's enough for now. "Oh, have we come around the room again? Very well. Lydia, once more, with feeling...!"

        Well, if one can play at that game...

<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        "You pick one, is wrong! Other is also wrong! No right! Is all left!!" Yarobeleedt taunts from his... not very lofty, actually kind of rapidly spinny perch and he's starting to regret trying to sit here all menacingly because it's making his blobby lower half all tired trying to keep there.

<Pose Tracker> Lydia Seren has posed.

Lydia considers this. Red or Black, huh? And there's only yellow--and who knows what Yaro will ooze out next! He could cheat again!

But this time, Lydia has a plan! She points towards Yaro and says, "Don't take it easy! This next one will definitely hit its mark!"

She draws out a metal plate and zaps a portal onto it and then one more portal onto the roulette wheel. She waits until it looks like a ball is about to jump into the roulette portal before turnnig the metal plate around--

"This next one will land on Claude!"

She turns the plate so that it, and the portal, is facing Claude--launching a roulette ball for HIM.

"Whatever you do, Claude! Don't dodge!" Lydia shouts. "This is to protect the statue!!"

GS: Lydia Seren has attacked Claude C. Kenny with Asteroid Ball!
GS: Lydia Seren has completed her action.
<Pose Tracker> Claude C. Kenny has posed.

"Wait, what?" asks Claude, who is still trying to blink Yarobarf out of his eyes and most of his face. He turns around to see a giant yawning portal, which raises an eyebrow, followed by a giant ball streaking toward him. He gathers his energy into his legs, preparing to leap out of the way---

'Whatever you do, Claude! Don't dodge!'

Claude C. Kenny is an ensign in the Pangalactic Federation. He is the lowest rank it is possible to be and still be an officer. He barely outranks the stapler. He is used to taking orders, even if they sound mega-dumb.

And so he stands his aground and charges chi as he tenses muscles, power whirling around his body. The energy waves send his shirt fluttering, revealing his rather well-defined abdomen. Veins standing up on his neck and face, he bends over, screaming and concentrating, his six-pack rippling...

...into an eight-pack

"BRING IT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON"

GS: Claude C. Kenny takes a solid hit from Lydia Seren's Asteroid Ball for 95 hit points!
GS: Claude C. Kenny enters CONDITION GREEN!!
<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        The Statue of Luck watches this latest turn of events with... with... well, really, as we've established in the past, exasperation or indeed any emotion other than detached amusement seems to be beyond the so-called Guardian of Luck -- such that when Claude C. Kenny erupts with a rippling whelm of chi to flutter clothes aside, as he roars and concentrates and powers up to have his well-defined abdomen bulge--

        --a silly little fanfare showers confetti above him too.

        "Oh, you are truly right on the money!" the Statue cackles, in its left-to-right bobble. "Wonderful, wonderful! Truly there is no kind of luck but the kind you make on your own." The snicker seems derisive as much as it is impressed.

        Nothing seems to happen on the statue's part, but Claude's eight-pack is so immaculately formed that the metal ball actually just rebounds straight off off him and towards--

        Towards--

        Towards----?!?!

<Pose Tracker> Yarobeleedt has posed.

        Yarobeleedt continues to mock and cackle and heckle in his own way. He has no knees to slap. He will not magically develop one when the statue speaks again, but he might - in some form - produce a brick as eyes that never seem to be able to stay level or focused find some way to look ready to ooze out of his damn head. Or pop. Pop-ooze?
        "WHAT"
        The metal ball pops up, and Yarobeleedt screeches as he undulates off the center and tries to flee the ball. The ball keeps bouncing. The ball keeps hounding.
        There is no kind of luck but the kind you make on your own - and Yarobeleedt is doing nothing but that, trying to flee to some random part of the whirling board where he thinks he's safe, even pulling that little security blank-- er, sheet of metallic fabric over him.
        All is quiet. He peeks ou--
        WHAM
        A flattened Metal Demon, like a bug on a windshield, rolls about the board until it finds itself in one pocket that might not have been there on the previous rotation - the grinning face of Chapapanga, in place of a color or a number.

<Pose Tracker> Statue of Luck has posed.

        The Statue stares for a long, looooong moment as Yarobeleedt attempts to escape and hide in his little safety cocoon, and yet--

        --as luck would have it--

        The ball does not miss him, until it is such that he's essentially merged into the side of the ball landing on the 00, with a grin of the Guardian of Luck's face.

        "Joking aside," the Guardian of Luck chuckles. "I am grateful you Drifters would seek the safety of my statue. Whether you believe it or not... luck be with you."

        It floats over and descends before the three, ready to be sealed. The flash on its eyes is gone, and so is the presence of the Guardian, it would seem.

        You've come a ways since then, Boy from Earth. Be a little proud, it adds somewhat more privately to Claude.