2018-04-30: Reach for the Heart
- Log: Reach for the Heart
- Cast: Gwen Whitlock, Riesenlied
- Where: Vane
- Date: 30th April 2018
- Summary: Gwen reunites with Riesenlied and tells her of a truth about her condition...
<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.
It wouldn't be long before Riesenlied will learn of yet another familiar face in Vane, especially once Mikaia and resident Lord of Calamity(?) Janey find out and in turn spill the beans.
Of course, this will definitely mean Gulliver, who dotes on the little hands that stroke and pet his fine silvery grey hide, hoping one of those hands will yield a sugar cube or, just as good, an apple. Hanpan will then start the Sisyphean task of urging the horse to not eat so much, something that has become extremely difficult since coming to the lush verdant landscape of Lunar.
And then, there's Gwen, looking mostly the same as she did the last few times Riesenlied has seen her. Maybe a little thinner, the space underneath her eyes showing the telltale signs of poor sleep.
Well, she's getting a little better with that, at least.
Having passed a message to the Hyadean that she wanted to see her, Gwen stands out front of the tavern, watching Gulliver mosey over to go mooch off anyone nearby, with Hanpan voicing his protests from the safety of the wagon.
"Didn't think you'd be here too," Gwen says on seeing Riesenlied. "'pologize for askin' you for a favor, seein' as we all are still adjusting to this place. How're you doin' as far as your powers? I was hopin' that bein' here'd somehow give you a break with that condition of yours." She itches her head, an easy smile on her lips. "Things happened so fast it was hard to really keep ahead of everythin'."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Janey and Mikaia look like they've adjusted to Vane rather well, really -- how could they not? The place was essentially another Wayside, and Miria Ausa being who she is, they couldn't help but pitch in. They're usually at the Wolfsbane -- Janey cleaning up /surprisingly/ good with a vest, dress shirt and pants as she serves up the bar...
(Yes, she's too young to serve alcohol, but try telling that to her.)
And Mikaia's been seen around the place as well, waitressing like a certain Lunata did a while back, and otherwise helping out with the soup kitchen. She'll also sneak a lot of treats to Gulliver, and keep Hanpan company as well, super-eager to let the wind mouse teach her all kinds of big and clever words.
Riesenlied... has been doing as she has -- if there's indication that the air quality in Lunar is helping her, it's been offset by the fact that Malevolence is ambient everywhere you go in it. Like trading one set of problems for another.
But it isn't about to stop her -- she's just back from playing her instrument on stage, which she appears to have been doing for a while! It's an ornate piece of wood upon which strings are attached on a bridge, a zither-like instrument she calls a guqin.
"It is rather different, and to sense Malevolence so acutely made me ill for a while... but I have gotten accustomed to it," she speaks to Gwen as she sits at a table with her. "If anything, the fresh air's made Lily step up my physical therapy." She chuckles. "It's a challenge. A favour, though, Miss Gwen?"
<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.
"Whoah, whoah, who's this professional young lady?" Gwen humors the smartly dressed Janey, one hand poised thoughtfully underneath her chin as she nods. "This *can't* be Janey! Last I saw her, she was off being a Lord of... what? Calla lilies? Clams?" She waves a hand, winking one eye to more clearly indicate her teasing. "I'll think of it, I swear. But until then, if y'ain't busy, I'd love, uh..." She tries to think, her mouth twisting around. "Something non-alcholic, I think. I'll leave it up to your expertise!"
Settling down at the table, Gwen eyes the elegant gupin, trying to piece together how it works in her mind. "Yeah, the Malevolence is weird here. I don't know how people stand it, but maybe it's like a bad smell in the room. After a while you just kinda... not smell it at all. Which I ain't sure is a good or bad thing." She crosses her legs and turns in her chair. "But if everything else is helpin' you, that's still great news! A lot better news than the sorts you've been dealin' with lately."
Which suddenly makes the request Gwen has in the back of her head seem like a terrible burden to add onto the calm woman's shoulders.
"Yeah. I 'spose you'd say that, but I want to let you know that it's somethin' you can refuse. But I guess it'd be better just to come out n' say it, then explain once the dust settles."
She straightens in her chair and leans forward, pressing her elbows onto the table, mindful of whether or not Mikaia or Janey are in earshot. "I need you to look at my heart." Grey blue eyes study Riesenlied's face, her lips drawn firm. "But only if you think you're up to it."
She then realizes that some clarification would be helpful, a sheepish laugh bursting out her mouth. "W-well, my physical one. Er, uh, my ARM kinda... now is my heart? If that makes sense? It happened a while ago, durin' the events at Krosse. Um." She settles back with a sigh. "Gosh, this made a whole lot more sense when I thought of it talkin' to Cass."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Janey huffs and complains, saying, "Now look and see here, Miss Gwen-- what's to say the Lord of Calamity can't look super-snazzy, huh? I mean, Lucia rocks the black and red cape look, and that lion-man's kinda got his own armor-and-cape look too! I'm allowed to fashion!"
She grins, though, as she starts mixing a mocktail for her. Looks like someone's been really learning under Argus...
"Y-your heart...?" Riesenlied asks, once they're out of earshot. Her eyes blink a few times as she widens, expresses, "What... what happened, Miss Gwen?" She places her hand to her chest. "I know your ARM sustains you, but--"
She bites her lip.
"Well, of course I would, if it would help you... but what is it that you wish for me to look at?"
<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.
"Oh, I'm sure the Lord of Committee has a bunch of style too." Gwen giggles, watching Janey walk away with a warm grin. "I'm glad they're adjustin' okay. No one needs to deal wiith as much as she n' Mikaia have."
WIthout anyone to follow up on it, is that orphanage going to just open back up, creating more MIkaias and Janeys?
Nono, think of something else.
Like, say, the very awkward request she just made of Riesenlied. Gwen laughs uneasily and rubs the back of her head. "Well, uh, see... There was this guy who's been goin' around, trappin' people in these illusion-type deals, n' he finally came back to, uh, test me? He also tried to ask me about Metal Demons, which I didn't tell him anythin' about you or Wayside or anythin'. And also... some other stuff that you don't need to know about. 'sides, my memory's kinda terrible still." Gwen shoots a final look at the bar, then turns her attention back towards Riesenlied, that same, sheepish look on her face. "But anyway I kinda... died? Because he tried to kill me. By stabbing me through the chest. And he kinda left me in an alleyway? But like, I survived, obviously, so you don't need to worry."
It's an odd display, Gwen talking about a traumatic matter as if assuring someone that a package was still in one piece, despite being tossed about by a windstorm.
And then, the true nature of the matter begins to crack through its mundane framing, exhaustion beginning to drawn on the cheery lines in Gwen's face. "I honestly don't know. I know somethin' happened. I finally told my friend Cass 'bout it, but when I did, I realized that if it weren't for the fact that the ARM actually filled in the wound the guy made, I really don't know what's been goin' on without, uh, actual surgery. Which seems like invitin' trouble in a place like Lunar, y'know?" She laughs anxiously. "I mean, there's things like infection, n' I don't think my ARM can handle that! N'... uh..."
She sighs. "I mean, I feel better now that Cass knows, but my ARM did somethin' real strange. Usin' my tablet to feed itself, even, so I probably got a pissed-off Guardian waitin' for me on Filgaia. So maybe I don't need to worry about it? I... uh..."
She rubs her face. "I don't know. Still... explorin' all this. It's like pickin' a scab and then realizin' 'oh dang, now I'm bleedin but I can't take it back, but sometimes you gotta pick a scab in order to clean it, and-" Her eyes cross, and she waves the analogy away. "Somethin' like that, I guess."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
I mean, Gwen did kidnap that creepy murderous lady who thinks Beastboys and girls are spawn of Valmar and dump her in the lap of authority. And also Lydie might've done a thing or two. Perhaps the nature of Little Twister is that others might just spawn back up, but...
"... horrible," Riesenlied expresses with wide eyes, shaking her head. There's a deeply pained look on her face as she expresses, "I'm glad you pulled through... if only I could have been there to help you."
She exhales very softly as she says, "... I've often felt the tremendous synchronicity you've exhibited with your ARM. I have sensed its memories in the past--"
She can't help but smile. "And perhaps, that bond is what made it reach out to save you in that moment. Perhaps you could call me sentimental, but I do fervently believe that the spirits of our ancestors still dwell within them..."
Well... given her beliefs, that's not a very surprising thing at all for Riesenlied to say.
"What do you mean about the... tablet? Did it actually-- consume a Medium?" Riesenlied asks.
<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.
it Gwen's face falls as Riesenlied voices her regret, leaning forward once more to wave her hands in front of her face in desperate dismissal. "Nono, it's okay! See, Mr. Balderdash found me n' made sure I was okay. Between him and Hanpan I was in good hands. And, well, there was Gulliver too, givin' moral support. So please, please, don't worry! I mean..." She settles back into her chair, the legs softly squeaking with the effort. "I couldn't let myself die. If I never got to see another horizon, or another sunrise, or another smile, even... it'd be sad, y'know? And I just don't do sad."
It would mean letting him win. And possibly, draw others to his web.
Gwen's gloved fingers interlace in front of her as she listens, her head tilting. "You... said somethin' like that once, I think." As their orders are placed in front of her and possibly Riesenlied, Gwen considers the amber color of the liquid, memories floating through the inner theatre of her mind. "Hey, uh, Riese... Was it somethin' 'bout a sky? LIke, from up high? Real high. It was weird, but, like, when I was dyin', I remember somethin' like that. N' all I could think was how terrible it'd be if I couldn't see that ever again."
Would such a spirit reach through, to help a human being, of all people? Gwen smiles at the thought. "I hope so. Maybe they're learnin' from people like you n' Noeline. If they're there. It'd be a pretty swell thought, to think we could change the minds of those who've gone before us."
The tablet. Oh yeah. Gwen rubs her face, as if preparing for a difficult task. "So, uh, yeah. Or, well, like, when I woke up, the stones were all cracked. Most of 'em I lost, but Hanpan made sure to save the ones he could. They're just regular rocks, though. Gave most of 'em to a good friend's grandpa on Lunar to ponder over." She rummages in her cloak and takes out a small piece, sliding it before Riesenlied. "As you can see, there's nothin' there. I remember reachin' for it to help me heal, but I was kinda beyond help when I blacked out."
<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.
Gwen's face falls as Riesenlied voices her regret, leaning forward once more to wave her hands in front of her face in desperate dismissal. "Nono, it's okay! See, Mr. Balderdash found me n' made sure I was okay. Between him and Hanpan I was in good hands. And, well, there was Gulliver too, givin' moral support. So please, please, don't worry! I mean..." She settles back into her chair, the legs softly squeaking with the effort. "I couldn't let myself die. If I never got to see another horizon, or another sunrise, or another smile, even... it'd be sad, y'know? And I just don't do sad."
It would mean letting him win. And possibly, draw others to his web.
Gwen's gloved fingers interlace in front of her as she listens, her head tilting. "You... said somethin' like that once, I think." As their orders are placed in front of her and possibly Riesenlied, Gwen considers the amber color of the liquid, memories floating through the inner theatre of her mind. "Hey, uh, Riese... Was it somethin' 'bout a sky? LIke, from up high? Real high. It was weird, but, like, when I was dyin', I remember somethin' like that. N' all I could think was how terrible it'd be if I couldn't see that ever again."
Would such a spirit reach through, to help a human being, of all people? Gwen smiles at the thought. "I hope so. Maybe they're learnin' from people like you n' Noeline. If they're there. It'd be a pretty swell thought, to think we could change the minds of those who've gone before us."
The tablet. Oh yeah. Gwen rubs her face, as if preparing for a difficult task. "So, uh, yeah. Or, well, like, when I woke up, the stones were all cracked. Most of 'em I lost, but Hanpan made sure to save the ones he could. They're just regular rocks, though. Gave most of 'em to a good friend's grandpa on Lunar to ponder over." She rummages in her cloak and takes out a small piece, sliding it before Riesenlied. "As you can see, there's nothin' there. I remember reachin' for it to help me heal, but I was kinda beyond help when I blacked out."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"... Mr. Balderdash..." Riesenlied expresses, placing a hand to her chest. "He was present when I was called by Lost July as well. The voice coming from within that city was exceptionally strong... like a wave of lost souls calling out to me." She furrows her brow, but then does reach forward and hug Gwen if allowed. "I'm so glad you're still here to speak to us."
She blinks once, before smiling quietly as she says, "Something like that. A free-spirited dragon that loved to race through the skies unabated, free of conflict and harshness. Someone who would never let themselves be restrained to the ground..."
She sucks her breath and says, "... maybe it's found commonality with your job as a courier. And maybe, like me and Noeline, it found something infectious in your kind-hearted spirit."
A pause... as she tilts her head, and says, "Do you mean Gwyn? I should catch up with Hiro again about that..." She nods as she looks towards the Medium.
"... if-- when we go back to Filgaia, I've a Medium to pursue myself. It's a bit of a long story, but I remembered something painful that I've hidden away in me all this time..." A pause. Bashfully, "And-- maybe, just maybe, if I can find it again... and learn from Princess Cecilia... maybe I can make slow gains to try to understand how to purify Malevolence like she does?"
<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.
"I guess we're both real lucky to have him as a friend." Gwen sips her drink, sighing with relief at the taste, then looking at it with a suspicious glance. Is this really non alcoholic? Janey really *is* good. "Sounds like he helped you at a time you really needed it too. I ain't sure how I'd handle somethin' like that. Yet you do it all the time, handlin' both your folk and folk like us."
Not only that, Gwen realizes, Riesenlied does it without that barrier between her and the world, one Gwen always needed herself to keep hopeful. She embraced it head on, much like she does now, reaching over to hug Gwen.
And Gwen readily accepts, squeezing Riesenlied back. "I'm glad you're here too, Riese. You, n' Janey, n' Mikaia, n' Noeline. Everyone. Your gentle strength, n' how you take everyone on, even when they just might try to hurt you for it."
A dragon, free-spirited, racing through the skies, free of restraint. Gwen closes her eyes, enjoying the very notion of it, nodding with a fond smile. "Then I got some shoes to fill, instead of bein' all weepy. Can't let all my fans down! But as they say, nothin' like a little death to get a courier goin'!"
It makes sense. No, really.
"Yeah, Gwyn! You met him? He's pretty incredible, ain't he? 'Course, that's to be expected from any sort of Gwen. We got a name to hold up. No bad Gwens, or Gwyns, only great ones. But yeah! You really should. I probably need to catch up with 'im too. Just... once I figure out how to convince him never to go after this guy." She blinks, then waves a finger at Riesenlied. "Same goes to you! If you ever see this guy, you need to get away. Don't try to emphasize with him, don't try to hold a conversation with him, n' *especially* don't try to fight him! He's made of different stuff than we are. And he'll try to take whatever he can, until you end up just like him. Y'got me? So, if you see a man with really bright blue eyes, you get the heck outta there. Ain't nobody gonna blame you for it. You got things you gotta do!"
Like seek out the Guardians, and deal with a deep, old sort of wound. Gwen can only nod sympathetically, closing her eyes. "If you ever need anything to help you along, all you need to do is ask, Riese. It'll definitely be hard, but all we can do is try, at this point. People like Sorey and Cecilia can't bear this burden alone."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"I'm grateful," Riesenlied smiles wider. "And-- don't count yourself out. You've been there for me, Miss Gwen, when the voices have been stronger than I can manage. Without you, I know I'd be in a worse place."
And she means it, as they hug, and Gwen compliments her for her gentle strength, and the tenacity in which she takes it, even if people may hurt her.
"You truly won't let rain nor snow nor death stop you... that's dedicated service if I've ever seen one, from a Super Courier," Riesenlied chuckles.
She nods gently as she expresses, "Not yet, but Hiro said that I ought to catch up with him and his grandfather -- Ruby was itching to spend more time with Odjn, so that sounds like a good thing to do." She furrows her brow as she nods slowly and says, "... I'll keep it in mind. Bright blue eyes..."
She nods firmer as she says, "I know. There's so much more we have to do... and I know we can support each other when we need it."
<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.
Gwen blinks at this, a genuinely bashful tinting her cheeks at the compliment. She rubs the side of her head and chuckles. "Then we'll support each other when those times happen again. N' I know that even if I ain't there, someone else will who's just as qualified. You sure know how to draw us in."
At the mention of her dedication, Gwen beams. "Of course! Can't let my customers down. Though I 'spose if I do pass away on the field, I'll have to leave the business to Janey, or Mikaia. And all my packages, too. And all my promises, n'... well, gosh, I suppose I'll just live instead of subjectin' any of them to that boring stuff." She is, of course, teasing.
Maybe.
Either way, if it gets Riesenlied's spirits back up, it'll make Gwen feel better as well. Because-
Wait.
Does she... really need to see it? Sure, there could be nothing but gears and clockwork underneath the metallic covering that laid itself into her skin, but in talking to Riesenlied...
Maybe, for now, it doesn't matter. Just like it didn't matter to Riesenlied, with all her worries about possibly turning into a dragon, piece by piece. She still kept going.
She needs to do the same. Mr. Balderdash probably did the same, all these times some element of his background threatened to bubble to the surface.
Such big shoes to fill.
Suddenly, Gwen squints at Riesenlied, giving her a mock suspicious glance before nodding. "Bah, I knew it! You were so good at this that I didn't even notice." She presses a hand over her heart, and gives a wink. "You did exactly as I asked. I didn't even feel it. But I feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders. I'm more sure of what I need to do now, more than ever. Just don't tell Cass, or she might get jealous."
Giving Riesenlied a frown, Gwen adds, "And if you meet Cass, n' she tells you I tried to take her into another room and charm her or somethin', do *not* believe her, she lies."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied lets out a very soft chuckle to say, "Oh, don't say that... Janey and Mikaia think the world of you. You just know they'd--"
"GWEN if you ever kick the bucket I'm going to go kick Ge Ramtos' door down and convince him to give yer soul back for a slim jim or something!" Janey suddenly exclaims.
Riesenlied looks extremely baffled for a moment, stammering, "A-aah... well, there you have it."
She chuckles as she says, "I can try to delve into your ARM with a bit more care now, but perhaps we should try it at a time when we'd both be ready for it. If nothing else, I can try to see what it's doing with your-- um, human side, as it were... goodness, we are in similar situations, are we not?"
A pause... as she says, "As for Cass..." A pause. "I think she might harbour a hatred for me in her heart. I'm not certain why, but... I believe that is the case, last I ran into her."
She chuckles faintly. "Being an empath is not always-- pleasant, but I must have done something during my time with Siegfried to harm her such."
<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.
"Bah, ain't nothin' like a bit of dark humor t-" Gwen nearly jumps out of her chair at Janey's exclamination, and quickly offers a shaky thumbs up to the young girl. "I better live then... for, uh, Ge Ramtos's sake."
There's now a whole lot more riding on her survival than Gwen even dreamed of, it seems.
'If nothing else, I can try to see what it's doing with your-- um, human side, as it were... goodness, we are in similar situations, are we not?'
And Gwen just lets out a surprised chuckle at this, then nods, looking as if Riesenlied had just promised to repair her wagon tongue. "Yeah, yeah, weird, ain't it? I mean, I ain't sure how I feel 'bout it on my end, but lookin' at you, maybe I can deal with this. Or, uh, make do, in my usual way. But that don't hinge on you doin' anything, so don't worry. If we do try it, It could be an exercise. Or somethin'. And-"
Oh.
Oh yeah.
Gwen, ever faithful to her nature, forgot. And somehow, that feels comforting in its own right.
"I don't know much 'bout her past, now that I think 'bout it. Could be real possible y'did. N' dealin' with that, well." She gives Riesenlied a sad sort of smile. "Those're things none of us can rush. She dang near died tryin' to protect Wayside, but I'll just proudly claim that as my influence."
It wasn't even 'dang near', really. It really was Cassidy, dying. For Gwen, even. A real weird batch of phoenixes, they all are. It was probably a godsend that Gwen had somewhat accepted it by the time her 'death' happened as well. Her want, her very *need* to survive at any sort of cost would've likely been greatly dampened by any bit of doubt, no matter how faint.
All that struggle, for this. To be here, in this room, talking, drinking, dealing with the consequences and knowing it wouldn't be easy, and she *had* changed, but the blue-eyed man hadn't taken anything from her that she wasn't able to renew, even when she remembered.
"It probably won't be easy, if you did try. So I want you to be ready, 'cause I'm still rememberin' things. If I have a firmer grasp of the consequences, that'll be the time I'll let you, when you're ready." Strange. She came in, willing, but now, she realizes that the time isn't now. Gwen smiles slightly at this thought, tilting her head. "You deal with your pain first, Riese. I'll deal with mine. N' at some point, when we think we've gotten far enough, we'll see if we can't give each other a hand in dealin' with that."