2018-08-21: A Dear Wish
- Log: A Dear Wish
- Cast: Avril Vent Fleur, Dean Stark
- Where: Meribia - Merchant's Row
- Date: August 21st 2018
- Summary: After success against the Black Mirror, Avril and Dean head out among Meribia's markets to browse and chat.
<Pose Tracker> Avril Vent Fleur has posed.
At a glance, one would take Meribia as unaffected by the war -- life unfolds much as it usually does in the merchant district, with people browsing wares, haggling over goods, or just lingering to have a conversation with a casual acquaintance.
A closer listen, though, would tell a different story: Meribia might be far from Glenwood and the front line proper, but people are worried.
People are afraid.
Malevolence curdles across the city in pockets -- too thin to be more than a symptom of a disease -- but to the honed eye, telling in its own right.
There is then a reason why Avril has paused for a moment, pulling back from a display of delicately colored pottery. Her eyes are elsewhere.
Perhaps Malevolence is on her mind, after what they had managed to narrowly avert to the north.
"It will... be a difficult journey from here on," she says, without prompting, upon a return to the here and now.
"But, I think they will be alright. They are not alone."
<Pose Tracker> Dean Stark has posed.
Even if there is Malevolence in the city, and even if Dean can now see it, his good mood can't be dampened. There may be war on the other continent, and people here may be worried about its potential spread--if Rolance or Hyland wins, who's to say they won't turn around and declare war on Meribia next?--but right now, Dean's helped three friends of his overcome their personal strife, *and* prevent a great tragedy before it had a chance to happen. That's something to celebrate, no matter what level of general unease there may be in town!
"Hmm?" Dean looks over at Avril when she speaks up out of the blue; he doesn't have anything in particular to buy, but he's happy to walk with his friend through the marketplace. Maybe they'll spot a deal on something cool out here! When he realizes what Avril's talking about, though, his smile widens as he nods. "Yeah! They've got us, and each other, and the rest of their friends. They're gonna do just fine!"
He rubs a finger under his nose then, and looks up to the skies. "I kinda wish I could remember what happened in the dreams better, though," he admits. "I get the sense that a lot of important things happened, and I realized something big, but... I can't quite grasp it now."
<Pose Tracker> Avril Vent Fleur has posed.
Neither, technically, does Avril, but after what they've done, she's simply just happy to be out and about.
Doing normal things, the thought echoes in her mind, a remnant of a dream's fragment, still shining brightly in a dark corner.
A frown colors her face, then flits away by a butterfly off to the next flower. No, even if she can remember some points of the dream they had all shared... much of it simply slips from her, like each and every one of those attempts she's made to recover her own memories. Like water through a thimble.
"Yes. I've heard it said that there is much to gain by confronting one's darker nature." Her lips press thin for a moment. "Of course, in my own case..."
That's a lie. She knows enough of her own nature to hazard at it. But to express it plainly, and receive forgiveness, unearned...
Because of course he would.
"You, as well? It makes me feel a little happy to hear I'm not the only one unable to recall something..." Her head dips in a nod, and she turns to pull away from this stall and on to the next. "Yes. I can remember some of what we endured, but much of it remains hazy."
I remember a fond wish.
She clasps her hands behind her back as she walks on through Meribia's crowds. "Dean, I was wondering... You said that you wanted to become a Golem Hunter. Is that your only wish, or are there others?"
<Pose Tracker> Dean Stark has posed.
"Darker nature, huh," Dean says, frowning in thought. "I wonder if we both did that while we were in there. D'you think any of the others remember? I didn't think to ask before we left the castle. I was just glad everything was over."
Oh, right--when Avril says that, that it makes her happy to not be the only one to not remember, it gives Dean pause. He hadn't thought about it like that before, but to Avril, not remembering that dreamy world is just more of the same, isn't it? He rubs the back of his head, momentarily abashed. Still, she's happy, so he's glad for that. "Same here," he says. "I think there was something about Fei, and you, and there was a lot of falling..." Then he shakes his head. "Past that, I just can't pin it down. It really is rough to not be able to remember. You're incredible, Avril, for always putting up with it with so much grace."
The two walk on through the crowds, unhurried, no particular destination ahead. Eventually they'll need to return to the inn room where they've been staying off and on, whenever they're in the area, but for right now they don't need to rush. Soemtimes breaks like this are important, too. Avril's question, though, makes Dean blink in surprise.
"My *only* wish? Hmmm... It's definitely my biggest dream, but I don't think it's my only one," he says, scratching his cheek. "Becoming a Golem Hunter is just what *I* want. I still have a lot of promises I need to fulfill to lots of different people, so I need to do that, too. And we've gotta get back to Filgaia, too! Oh, and I'd love to meet Nightburn again! And... apologize to him for being such a fanboy the last time we met." He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. "Why d'you ask?"
<Pose Tracker> Avril Vent Fleur has posed.
"It may be," Avril allows. "Some might remember, but... it is likely to be a private matter. Many people have difficulty admitting such things to themselves, let alone to others. You may worry about what they will think, for instance."
Her own recollection of the matter is incomplete. A cold voice. A promised pain.
A revolution.
But she doesn't need exactness in her memory to know what it may have been.
She has been coming to know herself, piece by piece, over the last six months, even if the context and details remain lost to her.
"I suppose Fei, too, might understand," she says, on the subject of Fei. "Though, I cannot remember clearly myself." There's a pause, wherein she dons a truly startled expression. "Ah? ...To be honest, not remembering in and of itself does not trouble me much. Perhaps it's akin to a fresh start...? Still, I would like to reclaim my memories, no matter what they may hold. They belong to me, after all, don't they...?"
'Because they belong to me', a younger Avril had declared, in another dream.
And more than collecting what she has lost, she knows she must find Johnny Appleseed.
"I thought not. Most people seem to have more than one dream, multiple wishes. Perhaps it's healthier that way." She tilts her head to one side, looking him over. "If one dream falters, there's another to strive to attain. And..."
Her lips tilt in a slight smile; she lifts a hand to her mouth and giggles. "I hadn't realized you and he had met. That must have been exciting..." She recalls, after all, the day he showed her one of his biggest treasures.
"Hm? No, I was simply thinking... I feel as if the mirror had attempted to lure us into its trap with our dreams. That's one thing I do recall more of, at least more than what else I had seen and experienced."
<Pose Tracker> Dean Stark has posed.
"Huh. Really?" Dean says of Avril's analysis of the matter. He thinks about it for a moment, then concedes, "I guess that makes sense... If it were an embarrassing dream, I wouldn't be quick to share it either." Though he also thinks he gets the other side of what she means: that sometimes, people have painful memories that can assert themselves as dreams, and those people might then want to keep them close to their chests. ...Being friends with Ida through her depression and Hellionhood really has taught Dean a lot.
"Oh, that's good," he adds when Avril says not remembering doesn't really trouble her much. "It'd be great if we got your memories back, of course, but I'd hate it if you were suffering alone because you didn't have them!" Another thought he hadn't really considered in depth previously, and since he knows it's not the case, something he won't really consider deeply going forward, either. Oops? As for belonging to her--Dean smiles and nods firmly. "Of course! It's only natural to want to get back what's yours!"
As for Johnny Appleseed... that's another matter. One that dead-ended completely here on Lunar, in fact. But they'll find a way forward sooner or later! He grins at Avril's remark on Nightburn. "Yeah, it really was! But I kinda embarrassed myself, hehe... He kept running off thanks to that." He clenches a hand. "But there's always next time!"
Multiple dreams, multiple wishes. Dean nods. "Yeah, that's true. Becoming a Golem Hunter is my biggest dream, but as long as I got to work with Golems, I think I'd be happy. Maybe if hunting didn't work out, I could learn how to be a mechanic like Old Man Tony?" Though that's not quite what Avril means. Dean blinks, then nods slowly. "I think I remember something like that... That's still hazy for me, though," he admits, scratching his head. "Mostly I remember a bunch of flames. Wonder what *that* means." A beat. "So what did *you* see, Avril?"
<Pose Tracker> Avril Vent Fleur has posed.
"Yes... every person is a universe unto themselves, or so it has been said," Avril states, entwining her fingers with one another. Perhaps she's only thinking from her own perspective here -- of the position of knowing some things about herself but not everything, and unwilling to share what she has gleaned before she knows more. It would almost be a betrayal, in a sense, of her friends' good will, when there's no knowing what had been.
She only has her suspicions to go on.
"I agree, I would like to remember."
Does she really?
A part of her doesn't.
But still, she proceeds onwards.
"But, I am not suffering alone. I am traveling with the two of you, and we have met so many people on our journey." A little bit literal, perhaps, but...
It is true unfortunately -- they had continued to hunt around for word of Johnny Appleseed, but have had yet to find a thing. It had been a long-shot hope though -- even they had known it. Still, all was not for nothing -- there had been statues up here on the Moon after all...
It emboldens her to think they might find a way back home again yet.
"Yes," she says, echoing that sentiment if in a slightly different sense. "There will be another chance."
Her thoughts run towards Rebecca, towards that sentiment that she feels more than fully remembers from another dream. Rebecca had felt... obligated?
Rebecca's own dream was...
"Or perhaps, become a Drifter? Though, I suppose we are doing that already," she adds, with a brief tilt of her head. "Flames..."
Flames stir something in her memory, but it's unconnected to anything she can grasp at, at least just now.
She shakes her head.
"What did I see...? Well, most of it I can only recall as feelings, but I do remember what my dear wish was."
She smiles at him. "It was..."
Her gaze shifts from him, off and a touch to the side. "Traveling with you and Rebecca, on a journey without an end. Perhaps that means I am living out my wish already."
<Pose Tracker> Dean Stark has posed.
A little bit literal, but Dean grins anyway. "That's true! Me and Rebecca would never make you have to carry everyone on your own. That's what friends are for, after all!" This talk of people being universes unto themselves is somewhat beyond him--when he first came to Mirapulse, he was genuinely impressed that there really were people living outside of Capo Bronco, and in some senses, he's still that wide-eyed boy--but if he thinks of it like, everyone has their own story to tell, then it's easier to grasp.
Avril agrees that there'll be another chance. If Dean were more intuitive, more in touch with subtleties and nuance, he might wonder if there was something more to that statement. As it is, he beams at her. "That's the spirit!"
Become a Drifter? "We're already Drifters, though--yeah," he agrees, nodding once. "Maybe we're not gonna do that *forever*--Rebecca'll become a circus star, and I'll become a Golem Hunter, and you'll find Johnny Appleseed, but we're doing it right now, right? So it still counts!" He shrugs at the echo of flames. "It could mean anything, right?" He rubs his face. "I remember it being painful, and then suddenly not... Guess that's dreams for you, though. They're off the wall like that." He grins. "Maybe I summoned Moor Gault in my sleep?"
Avril shares that she remembers her wish itself, and then says what it is. Dean blinks rapidly; then he smiles back, as warm and affectionate as he's always been. "It sure sounds like it to me," he says. "I don't know about the 'without an end' part, but we've got the rest of our lives, don't we? And we've been having a lot of fun on this journey together, even when it's been tough or scary or dangerous." He walks off a few steps, towards the docks as they pass them by. Seagulls coast on the salty breeze. "I'd been planning on leaving Capo Bronco no matter what, you know. Even if I'd never met you, I was planning on leaving home that day. But..." He turns around and grins at her broadly. "I'm glad we *did* run into each other. This journey wouldn't be half--no, even a quarter as amazing if you and Rebecca weren't on it with me!"
He rubs a finger under his noise and approaches her again, smile still beaming. "Hehe. Guess that means we're *all* living out our wish! Wouldn't you say?"
<Pose Tracker> Avril Vent Fleur has posed.
Avril, by contrast, for a girl who awoke with no memories atop a mountain, while far from unfazed by their strings of circumstance and hardly jaded, has managed to take the events since she met Dean and Rebecca in considerable stride. Perhaps it's not so much experience sometimes as much as it's someone's basic nature.
Avril even in the midst of a crisis usually remains calm.
Even if worries nag at her, as they do now.
They put a stop to that near-catastrophe, but...
Ida, Jack, and Rosaline have returned to themselves, but...
They've sealed statues, but...
Somewhere, there has to be means to return. Somehow, they need to return. That sense of urgency hasn't died over the last few months.
"Yes, I suppose so," she agrees, smiling faintly at his insistance that they're not going to go around doing these things forever. "Someday..."
Her smile falters for an instant, and even she doesn't know why. A heartbeat later, and it's as if it never happened.
"I do not know. I barely recall a fire," she says, trying to search that flicker of memory again. Which dream?
It's no good.
Lifting a hand to her mouth, she laughs. "I would hope not. Ida would have been disappointed if she had woken up to find the room had been burnt," she says, the mental image of them all awakening in a charred and blackened room suddenly a funny one.
She glances up, watching the birds dip and soar on by, screaming their cries to one another in the salty air. "The rest of our lives. Hmm, I feel as if that's sufficient for me..." That's a long time, when you lay it out and measure it.
And yet, so so short.
"I have, too. Even when it has been difficult. Even when I've wanted to cry. I've had a lot of fun traveling with the two of you -- and meeting everyone else, as well. I can't begin to think about what it would have been like traveling alone."
She shakes her head, silver locks caught in a sudden breeze. "I've had enough of being alone," she states suddenly, even this feeling running through her from head to toe.
And she turns to face him.
"Besides, even if our journey should someday come to an end, though... even if we go off to realize our dreams, we will meet again, won't we?"
<Pose Tracker> Dean Stark has posed.
That's another thing that Dean's always admired about Avril: even though she lacks her memories, even though she knows so little about the world as a result, she's always so cool and composed. It makes those times when she *does* lose her composure that much more unnerving. It's like she becomes another person... though that's silly. With or without her memories, Avril's still Avril. Avril's still Avril, and they'll all definitely find a way back to Filgaia. It exists for sure, so it's just a matter of time. Of that, Dean is certain.
A blink. Dean sees Avril's smile falter, though he doesn't know why. Even if they all reach their goals, it doesn't mean they have to stop being friends or seeing each other. There's all sorts of ways they can stay in touch, whether they're at each other's sides or not.
"I guess it's not all that important. I mean, in the end, it was just a dream," Dean says. "Even if it was more real a dream than most, we're still here, and nobody's actually hurt. That's what counts!" A firm nod. He pauses when Avril talks about the room being burned, and Dean gives her a dubious grin. "She'd be more than disappointed by that! A fire when everyone's asleep is really dangerous!" Though it hadn't been /everyone/ everyone. Riese and Ethius had been watching over everyone. Maybe Sephy too? Dean doesn't remember seeing her there so he's not sure.
A time both long and short. That's a human life for you. Young as he is, Dean has little concept of just how short a life can be. He's promised he won't die so easily, knowing how much his death would hurt the people he loves. Rebecca's scolded him about it, Fei's talked to him about it. But...
'I've had enough of being alone,' Avril says suddenly, with surprising vehemence. Dean blinks at her. How can she say she's had enough of being alone, when she just got done saying she couldn't imagine what it would've been like to travel alone?
For an instant, he remembers that tear she shed the moment they met. He hadn't understood it then, and he still doesn't understand it now, but... "Avril?" he utters. ...he feels like he might be a little bit closer.
She turns to him. He blinks, then smiles. "We sure will! I was just thinking of that a moment ago. We can still write letters, send messages, get together, even travel together again!" Dean says cheerfully. "Just because we've made our dreams come true doesn't mean we can't make new dreams and help each other make those come true, too!"
He reaches out and takes her hand in his. In other circumstances, with other people, it might be romantic; here, it's Dean's way of reassuring Avril that they're both really here. "So you don't need to worry. I promised I'd protect you, and I always keep my promises."