2018-10-08: Walking The Hard Road
- Log: Walking The Hard Road
- Cast: Xantia, Lily Keil, Jolen Crann (NPC), Martha Crann (NPC)
- Where: Baskar Colony
- Date: October 8th, 2018
- Summary: Following the adventure in the Ruins of Memory, Xantia brings Lily to see her grandparents, hoping to uncover more details about her past. New information is brought to light, though it is not pleasant...
=============================<* Baskar Colony *>============================== Baskar Colony is the closest thing to a capital for the Baskar Tribe on Ignas. Nestled high in the northwestern mountains, this small village is where many of the Baskar elders dwell. The homes here are simple but imposing structures, often carved into the walls of the mountains themselves. The scant wood here he goes to providing fire and warmth for cold nights. Provisions are limited to what is given by families who live here, as there aren't any dedicated stores; similarly, no inns or hotels provide respite. However, the elders' knowledge will sometimes lure the determined and desperate to this place. BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKKhBT0A1pE
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It was completely out of the blue that a clearly distraught Xantia approached Lily and immediately asked to please come along to the Baskar Colony to see her grandparents as soon as possible. She didn't immediately explain in anything but vague terms like 'it's very important' and 'I really need your help', but promising 'I'll explain on the way'. If being merely adamant isn't sufficient, Xantia is unafraid to employ puppy dog eyes to get her way. The lack of explanations wasn't to be coy or anything, at the time she just needed a little more time to get her thoughts in order.
When the appointed time arrived to start the journey, Xantia was much more like her usual self again, seeming happy and excited about the whole thing, and more than willing to talk people's ears off about whatever comes to mind. But she didn't forget about her promise, and did start to explain along the way. What brought this on was something that happened while exploring the lower levels of the Ruins of Memory with a few fellow amnesiacs. In her own words:
"It was... kind of like what happened with the mirror. You know, in the castle on Lunar with all the Malevolence? But this... this wasn't an illusion. It was real, it felt real. A memory, that I didn't know I had until... I guess it was the Ruins that showed it to me, somehow? But it was like I was back there as it happened, feeling the same things that I felt at the time. I'm sure that Fei, Avril and Ethius saw things too, but I don't know what they saw. I'd have asked Fei, but the way he looked... I don't think he would've wanted to tell me... to tell anybody about what he saw."
That slip of the tongue made it pretty obvious that Xantia is feeling concerned about being a bother to Fei. It's probably no big surprise, Lily was there when Fei snapped at Xantia in the Leck Mines when she went on about memories a bit too much for his liking. This may be part of the reason why she didn't ask Fei to come along this time.
"As for what I saw, it was not... nice. I was walking through the desert, and I was so hungry, and tired, and... alone. I couldn't remember ever not being alone. I had no idea where I was or where I was going. I still remembered my name, but nothing else. I figure that what I saw must have been from before I collapsed in the desert. Further back than I remembered before."
Turns out her hunch that the Ruins of Memory were named that for a reason was actually correct, and she managed to find exactly what she was looking for: some of her lost memories. Not from quite as far back as she would've liked, but it's something! Judging from how she acted before, the memory was a bit too upsetting for her to feel very happy about this, however. Even now, though she chuckles about it like it's no big deal, her underlying emotions paint a different story, filled with distress as they are.
"Kind of funny, huh? I went there wanting to remember something, and then I remembered what it was like to not remember anything. To not... have anything."
Wanting to push past the painful part in a hurry, she continues, "But... something was strange. I saw things that felt like... they didn't belong there. That couldn't be there. Like my clothes... I was wearing the same clothes I'm wearing now. But I couldn't have been, I know when I got these clothes, that was long after I'd collapsed in the desert. Then I heard Avril's voice out of nowhere, and suddenly I was back in the ruins."
Which brings her to the reason for this journey, and why Lily is a part of it. "When we talked before, you asked before about my condition when they found me, and then I realized I never asked grandpa about that. So, that's what I'm going to do now. I wanted you to be there, because... well, if there's anything else important I should be asking about, you'll probably think of those things sooner than I will."
This isn't a social call. Xantia is looking for answers. Answers that may have been back where it all began all along, but never came to light before. Perhaps with Lily's help, she'll manage to get one step closer to figuring out who she really is.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Some answers are worse than knowing nothing. Lily can have some sympathy for that kind of viewpoint; there are things she knows today that she'd be happier if she didn't. ...But that's not really what drives her. And she imagines the same is true for Xantia, that happy or not...
Well, she is the focus here. "It's possible," Lily confirms when Xantia asks her, and otherwise doesn't press the matter; it's enough to make clear that there are possible reasons for what she saw. ...Lily doesn't do a ton of smalltalk herself, though. As usual. And while she wouldn't say it aloud, as such, unless pressed... Well, Xantia is a friend.
Lily speeds up as requested, glancing here and there; she's been to the Baskar Colony before, but not often, and it's her habit to be aware. But eventually when go into the house--the real house--and Lily follows. She follows, and sees...
Yes, Xantia did understate him, didn't she? Lily--one-eyed, dressed in military garb and all--looks up towards his face and inclines her head, nodding to Martha as well, sharp greetings for a sharp woman. ...Though some of the strange circuit markings are visible, at her collarbone and throat, on her hands, gleaming faintly blue from surreptitious magic about the desert. So that's something. In the meantime though, Lily marks Martha quickly as a non-native, reasons out how this worked, and sets it aside.
She doesn't smile, because she doesn't smile around new people, but the way they interact she likes so far. "Lily Keil," Lily introduces herself, "Formerly of Kislev. I appreciate your welcome. ...And it's good to see Xantia's grandparents. You'd believe how animated she is with us."
...Lily can do... polite!
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It's true. If something were to be framed to Xantia as being equivalent to turning away from the truth, she'd likely change her point of view on it immediately. Which can make those matters tough to discuss without making it feel like manipulation. Xantia's thought patterns are too simple for her own good sometimes.
At least she can always be counted on to find something to keep talking about, even if she's the only one talking. This tends to lead to a lot of repeats in subject matter, but well, simple thought patterns. She's mostly concerned with good food, good friends, and good fights. At least, where it comes to smalltalk. Her deeper concerns, like her memories and her powers, tend to come up a whole lot less in casual conversation. It's easier to stay upbeat that way.
Over in the Baskar Colony, too, Xantia acts no more or less than her usual self, excitable and without much regard for decorum. One should hope that she wouldn't just randomly barge into people's houses normally, but then again, some would say that's Just Drifter Things.
She explains herself briefly in the face of Jolen's surprise, "I wasn't planning to come back so soon, but well, something came up, so here I am!" To which Martha replies, "Did you run out of cookies?" Xantia begins to shake her head, starting", "No, no..." before she pauses and corrects herself, "Well, yes... but that's not the reason I came back, honest!"
Jolen only manages a stoic nod in response to Lily's introduction before Martha speaks up again - presuming that Martha tends to do most of the talking would be correct. "'Of Kislev', is it? So a former soldier, I take it?" She is sharp. She lets out a single "Ha!" to Lily's comment on Xantia, affirming, "Yes, I would certainly believe that. Anyway, good to meet you, dear. Forgive me if I don't get up to come shake your hand."
That is, of course, because she can't - Xantia mentioned that Martha can't walk. The way she said that just now, she seems to be assuming Lily already knows about that handicap. Through the assumption that Xantia would have said something, or that Lily would be able to tell this by looking? It must be something like that, she is no magical granny. And much like Xantia, her emotions are an open book, she's enjoying every second of this.
Jolen, on the other hand, radiates calm. Just a constant sense of peace, regardless of his earlier apparent exasperation. That can't possibly be natural, he must be employing some kind of powerful mental conditioning. It's impossible to tell how he truly feels, though he claims, "Any friend of Xantia's is welcome here. We can discuss the purpose of your visit over tea."
At this point, Xantia interjects, "I'll get it!" And she's off through the door at the back of the room, where presumably the kitchen is, before Jolen even got halfway through saying her name. Honestly, by now he should know better than to try and stop her from doing anything she's set her mind to. "...Well then, please have a seat," he concludes, motioning to the unoccupied sofa while he moves to a chair nearby. The only chair in the house the man would actually fit into, by the looks of things.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
A secret hint that Lily isn't quite as dour as her demeanor suggests is the fact that no matter how many times Xantia repeats herself, Lily never shows impatience with her in this conversation. Her tastes in food of course are... different, her likelihood of talking about her friends low, but she at least does appreciate details of a good fight. ...And she has seen some of those deeper subjects.
If they were just walking into a random house to check for treasure boxes, that would also be fine, of course. But instead...
Cookies. Of course cookies. Lily can't help but ofer a very small smirk at that interaction, before she inclines her head again to Martha. "First Lieutenant, Kislev Special Forces, Black Wolves," she explains. "Likewise--and of course." Lily in fact comes over to her for this purpose, extending her hand without so much as a blink over her status. ...Lily has mentioned her mother can't walk either. But after that--
Of course Xantia's enjoying it. And Lily--well, frankly, the calm radiating from Jolen is good for her, given the subject of their visit. Mental conditioning or not, she watches his face again for a moment as if she can sense some of that, because she can--
"...She certainly does have a lot of energy," Lily remarks as Xantia runs off, shaking her head. "Certainly," Lily answers Jolen. "Thank you." Lily moves to the sofa, and notably, she is not wearing her ARM; before entering the house she made sure to keep it among her things, instead.
"...She's told me some about the both of you. Her affection is clear. I can see why."
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
A secret hint that Lily isn't quite as dour as her demeanor suggests is the fact that no matter how many times Xantia repeats herself, Lily never shows impatience with her in this conversation. Her tastes in food of course are... different, her likelihood of talking about her friends low, but she at least does appreciate details of a good fight. ...And she has seen some of those deeper subjects.
If they were just walking into a random house to check for treasure boxes, that would also be fine, of course. But instead...
Cookies. Of course cookies. Lily can't help but ofer a very small smirk at that interaction, before she inclines her head again to Martha. "First Lieutenant, Kislev Special Forces, Black Wolves," she explains. "Likewise--and of course." Lily in fact comes over to her for this purpose, extending her hand without so much as a blink over her status. ...Lily has mentioned her mother can't walk either. But after that--and approaching Jolen--
Of course Xantia's enjoying it. And Lily--well, frankly, the calm radiating from Jolen is good for her, given the subject of their visit. Mental conditioning or not, she watches his face again for a moment as if she can sense some of that, because she can--
"...She certainly does have a lot of energy," Lily remarks as Xantia runs off, shaking her head. "Certainly," Lily answers Jolen. "Thank you." Lily moves to the sofa, and notably, she is not wearing her ARM; before entering the house she made sure to keep it among her things, instead.
"...She's told me some about the both of you. Her affection is clear. I can see why."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
"Sounds mighty fancy," Martha replies to hearing Lily's former rank, evidently not easily perturbed about these matters. It might be a bit surprising to feel her squeezing Lily's hand with a solid, strong grip. She might look like a frail old granny, but despite the loss of mobility, there's nothing wrong with her upper body strength. She grins as she does so, because of course she does. By now it's fairly clear how much she enjoys taking people by surprise in every way she can.
In fact, she put more force into her handshake than Jolen does, when Lily approaches him to exchanges pleasantries. He, by contrast, is more used to holding back his strength. "Black Wolves," he repeats, keeping his stoic expression focused on Lily. "Xantia mentioned that she joined you, that she's happy to be among her friends." Though there's no apparent judgment there, he does add after a moment, "Far be it from me to dictate her actions, but I hope that she fully realizes what she's gotten herself involved with."
Jolen probably knows more than he's putting into words. Xantia did say that he travels a lot, and knows, in her words, 'everything that's going on'. As for how far that goes, one can only guess. But there's one thing that he's already figured out: "Xantia has questions, no doubt. I will answer as I can, of course. Your questions as well, should you have any." Martha lets out a tired sigh at that. "Serious business, is it? Maybe I aught to check out while I can, that stuff ain't my forte."
Xantia returns in short order, with a serving platter bearing four cups, which she places on the table in between Jolen's chair and the sofa. The tea was already prepared, so all she had to do was pour it. There isn't any sugar, but the tea smells plenty sweet as it is. The cups and saucers are plain white, but the platter prominently features Guardian sigils, much like Xantia's cookie tin did. "There you go!" With that, Xantia takes one cup and brings it over to Martha, sitting by herself a bit further away, who accepts it with a nod of her head.
Xantia promptly lets herself drop down on the sofa next to Lily, all smiles as usual. "Did I miss anything?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
"...Felt fancier before I left," Lily admits. Lily notes the strong grip with some approval, meeting Martha's eye and nodding right back, that approval clear for a moment. She has a very good impression of this woman so far. Jolen, though, Jolen has an interesting question.
"The organization by that name now has no affiliation with Kislev," she answers for a start. "...I hope she does as well," Lily admits then. "But so far as I know... She does."
Everything going on. Well, hard to tell, for sure. The questions... "It's at least..."
She trails off, doesn't finish as Xantia returns. Instead, in her seat, she accepts the cup of tea, taking it carefully. "Thank you," she begins.
"Just a few pleasantries," Lily answers Xantia. "Introductions. Some about you. Nothing to worry about, I think. ...I'll follow your lead, here."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Jolen and Martha quiet down when Xantia returns, too. If she were the suspicious kind, she might suspect the sudden silence to mean that she was being gossiped about. But it's doubtful that she ever even considered that, let alone be concerned about it. Lily's words on that matter are plenty to convince her that it is, indeed, nothing to worry about.
The only thing that she feels a little awkward about is being told that she's got the lead in this. Absently scratching her head, she admits, "Feels kind of weird when you put it that way. I'm not used to being in charge of things." She's over it quickly enough, turning to Jolen to tell the story of what brought her back here. "Well, you see..."
<Brief fade to black, as we don't need a full recap of the events at the Ruins of Memory a second time>
"...and that's why I had to come back. I want to make sense of what I saw, but I don't remember everything about it, so I was hoping you could tell me more."
Jolen, this entire time, has been listening intently with the tips of his fingers pressed together in front of him, elbows on the chair's armrests. Nothing so far provoked a visible reaction of any kind on his part. When Xantia falls silent, he lowers his hands, questioning, "And? What exactly is your question?"
So prompted, Xantia goes ahead and asks the main questions that have been on her mind ever since Lily brought it up, reinforced through the events at the Ruins: "When you found me... what was my condition like? And, what was I wearing?"
The first reaction actually comes from Martha, who'd gone back to her needlework and listening quietly until now, suddenly chiming in without looking up, "Ha! What'd I tell you? Should've just gone ahead and told her. Stubborn old coot."
Jolen does his best to ignore that, though he grimaces, then raises his right hand to rub at his forehead, taking a moment to respond. "I merely thought it would be better if Xantia managed to remember this on her own. Just being told circumstances while lacking the proper context might do more harm than good. So I must ask..." He locks eyes with Xantia. "Are you absolutely sure you want me to answer?"
Normally speaking, Xantia wouldn't have hesitated. Of course she'd want to know everything there is to know about her past, why wouldn't she? But the way that her grandpa looks at her now, with this intimidating, oppressive kind of gravitas... that causes her to hesitate. And so she turns her head to Lily, wordlessly asking what she should do.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
It's a balance; Lily doesn't want to show a habit of lying to Xantia immediately, but there's no need to worry her about a discreet conversation, either. At least it's clear that Lily knows how Xantia generally works. As Xantia gets awkward though--
"It's yours to tell," Lily answers simply at what she's not used to. Then, she waits. She waits, and she watches all three as best she's able while she does, though having only the one eye makes it a little more involved than she'd like. More to the point, she pulls a notebook, and begins writing. And this...
Yes, the question. Lily waits in silence still; she is here as support, not to take charge, and she takes the difference very seriously. Her pen pauses on the page, as she glances between the two of them. There is, then, something. Circumstances...
Xantia looks to Lily, and Lily looks into Xantia's eyes, relying on an old method of reading someone: watching her.
"You came here for that reason," Lily answers quietly, seriously. "You've said yourself that even if it's painful or difficult, you would rather know, than not know. It's ultimately your choice, but that's the resolve that brought you here today."
"Only you can decide if you're ready."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia nods quietly to Lily. That is what what she said. Nothing is more effective than being reminded of your own words. With a chuckle, she shakes her head. "Guess it'd be silly to just sort of walk away now, wouldn't it?" Even though she can tell perfectly well, if her grandpa is presenting it to her like this, it can't be anything good. Even so, she's got to know, or it'll just keep bothering her forever. Turning back to Jolen, she takes a moment to steel herself, before nodding to him in the affirmative.
Seeing this, Jolen leans back in his chair, seeming far away for a short moment, considering. But, in the end, concluding that there's no better way to present this than just saying it straight out.
"When I found you... you were covered only by blood. Blood likely not your own, given the absence of injuries."
Jolen pauses to let that sink in, watching Xantia's reaction. A stunned silence, as she slumps back in her seat. It was a fair point - without any context for this, Xantia just feels kind of lost on what this could mean.
"I do not know what happened to leave you in such a state, in such a remote location. Do not presume the worst, is the best advice I could give you. If you've remembered this far back, then going back further still may lead you to more answers. You may wish to take it slow. Remembering too much too quickly... may not be in your best interests."
"That's up to her to decide, ain't it?" Martha chimes in, looking up from her needlework with concern, and to share her own opinion. "Would you tell a gal dyin' of thirst to take it easy on the water?" Jolen attempt to interject, "Martha..." but the old woman will have none of that. "No, listen, that's exactly what this is like for Xantia. Or haven't you ever noticed? She needs this, Jolen. The uncertainty's killin' her. That's why she left in the first place. You can't--"
"It's alright!" Xantia, having found her voice again, finally speaks up for herself, a bit louder than she meant to. "...It's alright," she repeats more quietly, not looking at any of the others present. "It feels right, what grandpa said. The blood, I mean. I... vaguely remember that now. I don't know what happened, but... it's alright. I'll be alright."
It's hard to tell if she actually will be right now. She obviously doesn't really know what to do with this information, still looking a bit lost.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
She might've been able to make this decision for her--but Lily is sure Xantia would've regretted it. ...And really, choosing to hear is the same Lily would've chosen for herself. She could respect either... But this is the one she thinks is best.
Lily nods again, waiting, watching Jolen and Xantia both as they speak. Covered... In blood, is it? Lily writes this part down as well, thoughtfully considering; the only sound she makes is the quiet scratch of pen on paper. If anyone looked at her notebook, however, they'd likely find it incomprehensible. No one is likely to in all this. Do not presume...
"I've seen the same," Lily admits to Xantia's grandparents. "And to a point I understand. I was adopted myself, and don't know what my life was before then... Though that's much longer ago than for Xantia." Her voice is calm, even. But she focuses on Xantia after that.
"...I think he's right. It's best not to jump to conclusions. There are many reasons that could've happened." And, Lily reflects, a lack of injuries doesn't mean the blood wasn't Xantia's, considering her healing abilities. Not necessarily, at least.
Lily considers. "If I can ask--how fresh did the blood seem? Did it seem whatever violence was recent? Were there any signs of struggle, or theft?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
While Martha is clearly concerned for Xantia from her vantage point some distance away, Jolen's calm state of mind never wavers, and neither does his expression. His voice, too, remains perfectly calm as he answers Lily's question.
"The blood was dry, but for how long, I could not say. The desert heat makes such things hard to estimate. But whatever violence there might have been did not happen where we found her. By my estimation, Xantia walked away from what happened under her own power. As for theft... if she had anything to take aside from her bracer and neck guard, it's certainly possible that it was taken. We found nothing else in the immediate area."
Abruptly, Xantia rises from the sofa. She looks momentarily perplexed at her own action, before she speaks, "I'm sorry, grandpa, grandma," before turning to Lily. "Can we have a moment?" Without waiting for an answer, she makes a beeline for the front door, casting a look Lily's way before she exits.
For as little as she said, reading Xantia's emotions paints a much clearly picture. Regardless of what she said, she's seriously upset. Her distress has been building more and more while Jolen was talking. Not that this was entirely difficult to tell from her actions alone.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
That calm--what would that mean, for a man like this? Is that why he took her in, rather than leaving her, this demeanor of his? Still, the answers give her some more information at least. His estimation, and he would've had the opportunity to observe Xantia, who isn't... exactly talented at dissembling about herself.
"I see. Thank you." She pauses, turning to look at Xantia as she rises, feeling the moment, watching her start to go. "...Excuse me," Lily says to Jolen and Martha, rising smoothly and following the other woman out. She can feel the upset there, but imagines she'd guess it regardless, it being Xantia, it being the way she is.
So the black-haired woman steps outside with Xantia, closes the door behind them, glances about to make sure they're fairly alone at the moment. ...Apparently she's satisfied with their level of solitutde right now.
"...I'm here," she announces, though it may or may not be necessary. But she does this instead of starting off, instead of making some assumption or demand.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
The immediate area outside the house does happen to be clear right now, but Xantia is in no state to care. Her behavior and actions would have been the same either way. She just stands there, shaking slightly, with her back towards the door. Until Lily speaks up, prompting her to turn around. That lost expression is back with a vengeance, but as she speaks, it's soon replaced by more heated raw emotion.
"...I'm seeing it again, Lily. That memory of myself, walking through the desert, but... red. Just... completely red. I just kept going like that, I-- I didn't know! I didn't even know what I was covered in!"
That's the real thing that upsets her about all this. Not so much the fact of being covered in blood. It's the realization that, at the time, she didn't even know something so basic that anybody would take it for granted. Two years worth of memory is all she has right now, and even she can't fathom how it's possible that there was ever a time she was that clueless. Thinking about that without being able to conclude anything, or figure out how to go about learning more, is undoubtedly what's been tearing at her for the past few minutes.
A desperate need to vent her frustrations is what brought her out here, her voice only getting louder and more frantic the more she does so, moving to hold the sides of her head. "This... this doesn't help me at all! Why can't I remember what happened to me? Why is it always just bits and pieces? Tell me already! Somebody, tell me!!"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily's used to caring because others can't be in a state to--it's just part of her life, part of her work. Lily watches her shake, watches her lost--and watches her show that emotion. The memory...
So she didn't know. She didn't remember because--
...Because it didn't seem important at the time? Because she didn't look down? Reasons pop into Lily's mind to explain it, but Lily steps forward regardless.
"..." She considers. Why can't she remember? Well...
"...On its own, it won't." Lily looks to Xantia's face, but doesn't move to touch her, to interrupt. "But memory... It's fickle that way. It's very common that after a traumatic experience, the mind simply... blocks out parts of it. Waking up covered in blood... It suggests something difficult, whether it was or not. But..."
"It's also possible that you were in shock, and didn't look down. You didn't realize because after whatever it was that happened, your mind was shutting down, trying to protect you. I've seen it before."
"I don't have those answers for you. No one can. I can only give maybes, I can only give what I've seen. ...This road is hard. But the only thing you can do, if you want to know, is to keep walking it."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
While Lily may not have the answers, she does have the next best thing. Plausible suggestions. Possibilities, things that could explain things that Xantia can't make sense of. It's strangely comforting - while the uncertainty is agonizing, it can at least be made bearable by knowing that logical reasons do exist. Especially at a time where she momentarily lost the ability to see any.
That moment seems to pass with time, Xantia's quickened breathing slowing as she hears Lily's words, until she finally lets go of her head, and casts hopeful eyes in that direction. "...Really? So it could be... a normal reaction?"
Trauma, shock... the terms themselves she doesn't really know much of anything about, but that doesn't matter so much. Lily's seen these things happen before. Lily knows about these things, since she's a doctor. And that... kind of makes it feel like she was overreacting.
"I... I see. Well... I feel silly now. You're right, it could just be... one of those things. That would explain everything!" She thinks. Really, it doesn't even matter if she doesn't fully understand what's going on. As long as it seems like an explanation exists. Then all she has to do is find it. All that takes is to never give up searching. That's something she can do.
And so, just like that, she's smiling again. "That's fine, then. I can walk that road. ...I probably couldn't stop walking it if I tried. I'll figure this out yet! And... I hope you'll be there when I do."
Whether it's something unexpectedly pleasant she can share with her friends... or, as she more and more suspects, something unpleasant that she may need support in dealing with.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Just knowing that an answer might exist helps, right? Lily can think that way, too. ...Has before, will again, with the questions in her own life that are unanswered. And she knows that if nothing else, talking with authority can comfort people in crisis. It's part of her training, aftre all.
"Yes," Lily answers Xantia about normalcy. "It could be. It doesn't sound strange to me, at least, compared to how people can handle difficult situations."
She wouldn't say she wanted Xantia to feel silly, exactly, but she recognizes 'that could explain everything' for the potentially fragile hope it is, and thinks better of quashing it. Xantia's already smiling again, and while it might be better if she had a more solid foundation...
They have what they have, and they do what they can.
"You probably couldn't," Lily admits, with some amount of affection in her voice. "I plan to be, at least. Whatever happens... Know that I hope you'll get those answers. And I think you're strong enough to survive them, when you do."
Think. Hope. They can be the same thing, right?
"...Take your time. We'll go at your pace."