2018-10-09: Please Rely On Us

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=======================<* Adlehyde - Starfall Saloon *>=======================

Located in the southwest quadrant of Adlehyde, the Starfall Saloon is situated next to the local Adventurer's Guild outpost and kitty-corner from an ARMs Meister; the mostly-happy not-at-all-coincidence has turned the Saloon into a popular gathering place for Drifters. Even in the wake of the battle of Adlehyde, the Saloon continues its steadfast tradition of serving some of Adlehyde's finest foods and beverages. The building has largely survived the wrath of the Demons' attack -- minus the shaved off shingles that have fallen prey to dragon fire, and a breached room up top that ate a cannonball to its balcony.

The Saloon's proprietor and bartender is known as Honest Tom; this is a bit of an in-joke among the regulars, as the man rarely speaks more than a dozen words over the course of an evening. The cook is known to most as 'Aunt Hilda', the woman who, along with waitress Lunata Croze has concocted many delectable, mouth-watering specials and soups. The Starfall Saloon was widely known among Drifters for offering warm beds, cold beer and wonderful grub for a fair price...

...and now, it is serving as an additional hospital and clinic for the injured in the wake of the battle of Adlehyde. Most of the showfloor has been converted into a sick ward with plenty of gurneys and cots tending to the ill and injured -- and rooms are at limited availability with priority going to those who need intensive care. The sign reads: 'DOCTORS AND MEDICS WANTED', along with 'STILL OPEN FOR BUSINESS'.

Certainly, they have a downsized menu mostly sticking to mass-produced, but still delicious nurturing foods. A cup of warm, comforting soup to recover from a disaster... won't you have some?

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MQRL7xws7w

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei is not in a great place lately, particularly after having nearly squished a Rudy and then found himself in a wedding(?) that later got attacked by cuccos(?) that were launched at the wedding by leon and lily(????). It was a weird time. Every day the battle with Mother comes closer, the anxious Fei is. That is...probably understandable.

Fei has ordered some burgers, a full plate full, really, and is looking at a map that he's working on periodically that is already somewhat stained by ketchup and other condiment splatter. Perhaps it's just a draft and a strange map to make, perhaps, since it seems to be a map of Adelhyde itself. 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Perhaps a switch of fates happened at some point or another, Fei getting involved with all the insanity while Xantia had quite the string of serious personal concerns going on. The search for her memories has been making some solid strides, if not exactly in the most pleasant ways, and never as complete as she would like. Not getting a complete picture has a way of making one wish to fill in the blanks all the more strongly.

At least there was some Bream Chasing that happened in between. It's not been completely devoid of welcome levels of insanity.

And then, there are things that never change. Just when you're sitting down with a particularly large amount of food, Xantia appears out of nowhere. Or in this case, a noise from her stomach appears before she even opens her mouth. Whatever she had in mind for an ambush this time is thus given away prematurely, causing her to freeze and awkwardly scratch her head. "Ehehe... hi! I was hoping to surprise you." Food: a solid Xantia Early Warning System. Best not deployed if you're feeling very hungry yourself.

While she unsurprisingly can't stop herself from eyeing the burgers, she wouldn't dream of helping herself to someone else's food, and thus quickly distracts herself with the next most obvious thing, the thing Fei was studying. "What's that you're looking at? A map?" That much she can tell. Not immediately what it is a map of. 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

A stomach growls in greeting.

Fei has entered FULL DEFENSE mode

But then Fei sees it's Xantia and he relaxes somewhat, curling up the map he's been working on and giving Xantia a small smile. "Well well, it's been a while, Xantia." He gestures to the burgers. "Have as many as you'd like." Wait, did he bring out the burgers in an attempt to LURE OUT Xantia? Is he getting that savvy!?

"I was just working on a map of Adelhyde. I am trying to figure out what to do if it gets attacked again--you know, the best positions to stand ground or whatever. I didn't have any art projects for a while so it's a nice way to take a load off my mind."

He says, "Did you go back home for a bit?" 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

If it was indeed a lure, then consider Xantia lured, and glad for it! People can lure her with food any time, she doesn't even care who it is! Yes, that's dangerous, but when has Xantia ever shown restraint in the face of danger?

More importantly, she was given an offer she would never refuse. "Really?! Thank you, Fei!" Obviously you don't have to tell her twice, those burgers are immediately attacked, Xantia grabbing one in each hand and taking a bite out of each. It's the only way to eat burgers.

While chewing, Xantia listens to the explanation, mmm-ing a bit and mercifully swallowing before she starts to reply. She has picked up at least some manners. "I guess it could help if that happens, but I sure hope we won't need it! I like the plan of attacking the attackers before they can attack again."

She moves to take another bite, and... pauses when Fei asks his question, slowing closing her mouth and lowering the burger. "...Yes, I did." She's not sure if Fei knew or made an informed guess on her saying that she needed to talk to grandpa back at the Ruins, but that's not really her concern on that topic. "Are you... upset that I didn't ask you to come?" 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

It was largely a guess. Xantia did say she had to talk to him but it was still mostly a guess. Fei would go back home if he had one to go to if he suddenly was unable to for a while. Of course, Fei doesn't have a home to go back to, but the idea is there.

He watches Xantia's impressive appetite at work with a smile. If only every day could be like this. If only the world were so simple.

"Well I try not to think about things that way," Fei tells Xantia. "I suppose I imagined you were trying to look after me, in your own way, since I know I haven't been in the best of mindsets as of late."

It's partially an offering of an out if Xantia didn't want to invite him for other reasons, but Fei primarily doesn't want Xantia feeling like she has to invite him everywhere.

"How'd it go?" Fei asks. 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

And here's Xantia going back home twice since returning from Lunar. She'd feel pretty guilty if she thought about such things in a comparative way. As it is, she doesn't even consciously realize she's started to equate her grandma and grandpa's place to 'home', to the point where she confirmed heading back home without questioning it. Being sent to a whole different planet had a bit of a profound effect that way.

Xantia still looks a little guilty even if Fei isn't upset, though her expression soon transitions to one of amazement. "...How did you know that?" Even if she is an open book in many respects, she is still often surprised when people manage to guess her entire thought pattern. If Fei knows that much, then she might as well admit it. "I just... I was afraid I was bothering you, since I keep going on about memories, and you..." Fei can probably finish that sentence better than she could. It's still a difficult mindset for her to understand.

Not forgetting about the burgers entirely, she nibbles on one absently for a bit before she replies to the question on how it went. "It was... good. Yeah, it was nice. We talked about a lot." She pauses, before correcting herself, "I talked about a lot, they mostly listened. But..." Another pause. This time she needs to take a breath before continuing. "I also asked about the condition grandpa found me in. Since I sort of forgot about that."

Then there's a cliffhanger, because she really needs a more solid bite from those burgers already. 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei Fong Wong is feeling plenty guilty himself. The last thing he wanted to do was Xantia to not feel she could ask him to come with her even if, well, the break was well appreciated.

"I know what I've been like." Fei says, fingers curling in against the table. "You're a very considerate person when it comes to the important things."

He shakes his head. "This is important to you. I'm just...afraid. I've never been a brave man, Xantia. Not when it comes to the important things."

Fei exhales slowly in a sigh. "There are so many dangers out there that can hurt you. I should've never let one of them be me. I'm sorry, Xantia. I wish I could say I could be a different person tommorow. I wish I could be proven wrong all the time. That sounds like the ideal life, but so often it feels like my worst fears weren't imaginative enough."

He looks down at the table. "...You have good grandparents. Were you hurt?" 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia looks at Fei with a rare unreadable expression. It's usually pretty obvious how she feels about things she's being told. But Fei's words right now... perhaps she's confused about how to feel about it? That's probably the safe guess.

She waits patiently until he's done talking before giving her response. Which doesn't initially come in the form of words. Instead, she leans over... and shoves a burger into his mouth. One that she's already taken a bite out of, but that hardly matters, it's still good.

"You're being way too hard on yourself," she finally scolds, with a bright smile. "It's okay silly, I don't care about how brave you are. Thank you for worrying. But... I just think that you shouldn't let being worried stop you from trying to learn more about yourself. No matter if you have memories or not. I don't know about you, but the more unsure about things I am, the more worried I get. So even if there's bad things ahead, I'd rather just get them out of the way. After all, no one can escape the past. No matter how far we run, our past will always catch up to us!"

Somewhere along the way, that got a little weird to say with such a happy smile. Xantia may be the only one who ever read a passage about the past being inescapable in a book and interpreted it as something optimistic and hopeful. But to her this seemed like a very good pep-talk!

That done, she leans back a little, her smile slowly fading as she thinks back to what she was told. "...I don't know. Maybe. There was blood, a lot of it, but I didn't have any wounds at the time. Which doesn't have to mean it wasn't mine." Not with how fast she tends to heal.

She could say more about this, but instead, she turns her head to Fei, asking a question out of nowhere. "Fei, back in the Ruins of Memory... what did you see, at the end of it?" She's been wondering about that. She never did ask at the time, dazed by the experience. But she's sure the others must have seen something too. 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei smiles, "Being hard on myself is what I'm best at." He looks away for a moment, but then back again. "The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. Whatever my secret past is, it's definitely missing a lot of details. Or maybe I really don't want the answers, even on a subconcious level." He looks towards Xantia and smiles, "Get 'em out of the way huh? Just get through it and bam! Done? I'm guessing your past is very quick with how fast you run."

He does seem to feel a little better. Seeing that optimistic Xantia makes him feel like there's a stable constant in his life of constantly being upended.

The cheer fades when Xantia makes it clear that her own past isn't so squeaky clean. "Even with a detail like that...you want to know, huh?" He closse his eyes, and then admits, "When I was taken to Lahan Village, they said I was covered in blood too. Maybe we were enemies back then, and we did this to each other."

Strangely, the way he says that sounds strangely optimistic.

"I wouldn't mind that." Fei says. "Because it meant that we managed to move past it."

He looks back to Xantia. "Though I guess I do worry about that."

Xantia asks a strange question.

"The Ruins of Memory?" Fei asks. "Um." He rubs at his forehead. "You know... now that you mention it..."

He trails off. It's his turn to cliffhanger! But it's almost like he doesn't exactly ... remember? 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

"Never goes quick enough!" Xantia still sounds upbeat when she says that, even though it's not exactly something she's happy about. If all memories she regains are just gonna be single events that she slowly remembers more details about, this is going to take forever! But she managed to get Fei to smile again, which in this moment matters a little bit more. Sometimes it can be okay to keep her memories waiting for a few minutes.

But regarding there being messy elements to her past, she nods without hesitation - she absolutely still wants to know. "Maybe even more than before. I don't know what it means, a lot of things could have happened. That's just the kind of thing that makes me more worried because I don't know everything about it." Even if it's something bad, well, she obviously wouldn't like it, and may be upset, but it's a lot more frustrating to have a piece of a puzzle without any idea where it goes.

It's not strange to Xantia at all that Fei sounds optimistic in his suggestion. Because of course she's going to see that in a positive light, too. "That would be great, it'd explain everything!" Well, maybe not everything. But why she's always felt like there was a connection between her and Fei. Being former enemies is very possible! Moreover...

"If that turns out to be what it is, you don't have to worry, I'm sure I won't be your enemy again. After all this time we've spent together, I know that any reason I could have had for fighting you has to have been some kind of mistake. ...Serious fighting, I mean. I'll still fight you for fun any time you want!" Never any less enthusiastic about keeping that offer open.

All this cheer and optimism... and it goes right out the window when Fei looks so confused about the Ruins of Memory. Xantia's face falls. She's seen this enough times that she recognizes it, even when it's about a different topic than usual. "Oh no, is it happening again? Like with Id? You still remember who Id is, right?" 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

"Heh, well," Fei says. "I'm not sure I'd like my odds if we ended up fighting each other, for fun or not." Of course not if all the blood ended up coming from him but he isn't sure that's what actually happened.

When Xantia interrogates him further, Fei crosses his arms, frowning thoughtfully to himself. "No, no... I wouldn't say it's like that exactly. It's more like, what I saw was pretty strange and hazy to start with. I'm not even sure I have the words to explain it, but..."

Id, he thinks, or the Demon of Elru. are they different entities? Ramses told him he was the latter. Elly suggested it was mistaken identity. What if they're---No, it's impossible. Even he doesn't have that kind of power.

"It felt like I was in a dark room." Fei says. "And there were these strange...windows?" He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, it's hard for me to really talk about right now." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia waves off Fei's false modesty with a literal wave of the hand. "Pff, you didn't know me very well yet the last time we fought. I'm sure it won't end with falling off a rooftop and into a fountain this time!" That's a pretty good bet, since that would be really specific.

It's plain to see that as quick as Xantia was to get worried for Fei, it passes just as quickly when he denies it to be the same as what happened with Id before. "Phew, okay. Not wanting to remember things is one thing, but it'd be really bad if you started forgetting things again, too!"

Just hazy on the details, then. That's easier for Xantia to understand. She even shakes her head, going so far to suggest, "Don't force it, then. Take your time to figure out what you saw, and you can tell me later!" Of course if it were her, she'd be in a real hurry to try and remember, but she at least understands that this might be different for Fei. She can wait! ...Not very long, usually, but she can at least try to not pester him too much about this.

This just means that she'll have to go first: "I saw myself in the desert, it was from sometime before I collapsed. The blood wasn't there, but that was wrong, it was supposed to be there. I was also wearing clothes I didn't have yet, Lily said that was probably my mind's way to compensate for missing details in my memory. So... I'm guessing that the hazy things in what you saw are like that too."

She brings a hand to her chin. "There were other things that didn't fit, like I saw some vague shapes of people... and a boy who asked for my help. I'd never have left him behind... but grandpa said they searched the surrounding area where they found me and didn't find any evidence that anyone else had been there. I guess it's possible the tracks got lost in the sand, but..." But, somehow, she's just really sure that didn't originally happen. She remembers that strong sense of being alone so vividly... she can't imagine that she had a companion at that time. 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei suspects his ability to lose to Xantia will have less to do with martial skill and a hefty repulsion towards hurting friends. Holding back against Xantia when she's not someone you should hold back against sounds like a recipe for pain.

"Heh." Fei chuckles a bit at the reminder. "No, I think the problem is more 'me' than my memory. If I don't want to remember something, or I'm not looking at something that will refresh my memory pretty directly, then..." He trails off because this might suggest some things about Xantia since surely if he had memories of her, he'd have remembered them by now right? 'Course, there's other ways to have a connection.

"Vague shapes..." Fei murmurs. "And a boy in the desert?"

He is quiet for a while. "Huh."

He takes a burger for himself because if he doesn't it won't be there much longer. He looks into it as if for answers. "....Huh." He says again.

And that's...it? How unhelpful. 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia would wave that notion off too. Previous experience has shown that it's just not very likely for her to get seriously hurt, even when she probably should've been. Obviously she sees no reason why people should ever hold back against her! And with her fighting under that assumption... well, Fei might have a point. Xantia will just never see it.

But as long as it isn't directly contested, Xantia's just going to gloss over that suggestion, anyway. Especially when there's the topic of memories to distract her from it. She frows a bit at the notion of 'not wanting to remember something', she has no idea how that feels. Which makes it pretty believable that it's just a normal thing that happens, things becoming hazy when you don't want to remember them. Meaning...

"So... that there was a blood on me back then, that could be a thing I didn't want to remember?" If she sounds surprised, that's because it is. She doesn't really see how that might be a thing that people would want to forget about. It's not like she was ever freaked out by blood or anything.

Xantia's hand suddenly flies to her forehead. No... that did happen once. "When I fought Fargo in the tournament, and I..." Almost killed him. "...that was... different." She did freak out when she saw all that blood that time. Why was it different that one time?

She must be seriously bothered by all this, she still hasn't finished her one remaining burger entirely. At least she's distracted from Fei's lack of helpful commentary. 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

"Well I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, but it's possible." Fei says, knowing that Xantia would win the gold in the Jumping To Conclusions Olympics. He remembers well that tournament, but the reminder that the blood is what set Xantia off...

...could blood be some kind of trigger for Xantia? "Most people aren't comfortable around blood. Me neither, really." He laughs awkwardly at that.

But he's mostly quiet. He looks out a window. Should he admit it? He doesn't want Xantia to make a mountain out of a molehill but it's very strange, isn't it?

"It's weird though that you mentioned a boy in a desert." Fei says. "I think I had a dream about that once. Do you think someone's maybe trying to contact us?" 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

It's not about Conclusions Fei, it's about Possibilities! Xantia would rather have a ton of possible explanations than none at all, or only ones she doesn't like. Good thing she already had more possible explanations for this instead of just this one that doesn't seem great.

Eventually shaking her head and moving past the moment of trying to recall something without success, she cheers herself up by devouring the last of that remaining burger at long last, and grabbing herself two new ones. "I don't mind blood, not really. I know it's a sign of people being seriously hurt, I don't like that part of it. But you know, I kill monsters and animals all the time. There's a lot of blood sometimes, and that's fine."

She's pretty casual about that. Maybe a little too casual. But that's why it's extra weird to her that this one time her reaction was so different. Not that she seems too concerned about that anymore, she's perfectly content to go back to munching on burgers.

Until Fei brings up the boy again, that brings everything to an immediate halt. Swallowing quickly, Xantia is quick to latch onto this particular possibility. "You had a dream about something that showed up in my memory?! ...but, it didn't feel like it belonged there, so... maybe a dream got mixed up in somehow? That sounds like something that could happen... and that could mean that someone's trying to tell us something, you think?" 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

"Well," Fei says. "Fargo's a person. Maybe that's why. And--it doesn't seem like you really meant to either, so maybe that's part of it too. I know how hard it can be to accidentally hurt someone, to accidentally kill someone. It's not a great feeling and that's why sometimes I feel like I'm more trapped in this conflict than a willing participant. I just want a place where I and those close to me can live their lives in peace. But with the world in danger, there is no such place like that. Not on all of Filgaia, really."

He looks back to Xantia, shifting onto the matter of the boy in the desert. "It's possible. Or the ruin was just playing tricks on us." He's not entirely sure which worries him more. "Regardless, um, I'm afraid I don't know much about it. Honestly, even for me, it didn't feel right either." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

A person... well, that is possible, she supposes. It was however a person who had her on the ropes to the point that she feared for her life. A reaction like that can happen at a time like that. And then there was the similar thing that happened with Jean earlier in the tournament. "...I don't know," is all that Xantia can really say about it in the end. "It just feels like I'm still missing something important about this. But I have no idea what it could be."

She smiles, and chuckles a bit as Fei expresses what he wishes the world could be like. "That sounds nice. Though, to be honest... I don't know if I could feel like I belong in a place like that. It feels like I should be fighting, so that people who can't or don't want to can live in peace." Though she maintains her smile, it's probably not hard to tell that she has mixed feelings about that.

On the matter of the boy, she can at least offer a firm, "I'm pretty sure it wasn't coincidence at least, I don't think that dreams would just appear in someone else's memory for no reason. It has to mean something. But... who knows when we'll find out what it is." She sighs a bit, and raises a burger back to her mouth. "Same as always." Chomp. 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

"Mm... Maybe." Fei says. "Unfortunately I think we hit a bit of a dead end there for the time being. We shouldn't force it any further, just like you asked. And I think the same thing goes for the 'dream' or 'memory' of the boy."

Xantia thinks a world of peace doesn't suit her and Fei thinks to another hint of a dream in which Xantia was busy off having adventures and didn't make it to...what was it again? Well she hadn't made it.

Fei bites into his own burger quietly. Maybe, he thinks, he should avoid visiting these 'memory' ruins if possible. The Elw sure seemed to like dragging out your own psyche to use against you. There has to be a healthier way to learn about his past even if it is what he wants to do.

"When we go to Elru." Fei says. "Please rely on us."

Burger Chomp. 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia nods quietly, or as quietly as one can be while actively devouring burgers. Even with her wanting to recover her memories more than anything, she's not going to be stubborn about beating her head against something like this. Besides, Fei doesn't like the topic, but he indulged her quite a bit already, so if he wants to leave it at that, that's fair.

But as much as Fei might want to avoid ruins that have to do with memory, it's a given that Xantia's going to want to go, and who the first person she'll ask to go with will likely be. Perhaps one day, he'll be forced to decide what's stronger - his wish to stay away from his memories, or his fear that the one time he fails to accompany Xantia will be the time that she doesn't come back.

Being Feiguca is suffering.

But at least he has burgers! What Xantia will leave of them, anyway. Her eating has sped up considerably now she isn't spending as much time lost in thought anymore. She barely even pauses to reply now, "Of course! And you can always rely on me!"

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