2018-12-02: Encouragement
- Log: Encouragement
- Cast: Lan Lilac, Leah Sadalbari
- Where: The Photosphere
- Date: 2018-12-02
- Summary: While scouting out the Photosphere, Lan and Leah talk about their hopes for a mutual friend.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Lan really, really dislikes Metal Demons because they're selfish and killing the planet. So when she'd been offered the opportunity to help gather intelligence on their weird base, she was fairly enthusiastic. Maybe this is what she's been waiting for, all along...?
If they can destroy the Metal Demons, they'll have eliminated a huge threat to Filgaia. Lan isn't entirely sure how that works, but she's more sure of it than she has been of anything in years. She'll take it.
She'd been thinking that she would be assigned with Loren (as usual) but this time it's Leah. Huh, it's really nice of her to want to take Lan along! With her long hair in a loose braid and a light polearm broken into its three pieces on her back, she supposes she's as prepared as she'll ever be. "So... what are we looking for, again?" she murmurs to Leah as they approach.
<Pose Tracker> Leah Sadalbari has posed.
This place is strange; it is /clearly/ alien, clearly does not belong on this world, maybe not anywhere. The translucent golden barrier is gone, now, but the structures of metal within the great cavern show cramped hallways of metal, halls ahead; cafeterias, proving grounds... Advanced technologies and tram systems leading to different parts. There is interior lighting; despite the cold temperatures outside, it is reasonably comfortable here.
But it is oppressive, and dangerous; the sounds of combat echo from not far in.
"...The story goes that the Metal Demons--Hyadeans, they call themselves--have hated the Guardians for centuries. ...That they were opposed by them in the ancient wars, and that this Mother of theirs was barely defeated, once."
Leah is not in uniform; she's incognito, so to speak, which means she's in ordinary Drifter clothes, her mechanical limbs largely concealed, a spear in her hand.
Leah then tilts her head down and says, "We're just scouting; we need to see the lay of the battle, so that we know how to deploy our forces."
She gestures to a passage ahead, leading down too far to see past its bend. "...There are already people inside engaging them, but some might come past towards us. Let's be safe, shall we?"
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
It's been really, really strange to be in such a cold place. Not that Lan doesn't enjoy the novelty and all, but it's weird to have to wear so many clothes. She's actually wearing pants for the first time since the moon. Brr!
"That's what I'd heard, yeah," Lan nods, and moves up to keep pace with Leah. "They don't know when to give up, I guess." You'd think hundreds of years of being about dead would take the fight out of somebody, but... Well, stubbornness is worth a lot, Lan supposes.
Her footsteps are fairly quiet as they move into the tunnel, Lan listening ahead as best she can. "...How long have you known Loren, anyway?" she asks, apropos of nothing. "He treats you really differently than he does anybody else - even other officers."
<Pose Tracker> Leah Sadalbari has posed.
That /is/ cold. Leah avoids pants where she's able too. ...Though some of that is another reason, because the average fabric doesn't play well with the joints of her mechanical leg.
It's not hard to keep pace with Leah, though; she walks slowly, the slightly mismatched click of her gait soft compared to the noise around them.
"Don't mind me. You'd know the details better, I'm sure. ...But seeing history makes me think a little of storytelling. You're right, though; you'd think they'd try a different route..."
"But some people won't learn unless they're shown a better way."
The butt of Leah's spear touches the ground as she glances up, for a moment, at a seam in the ceiling--and then continues. "So you noticed?" Leah asks lightly, and for a moment it seems like she might not actually answer, given how she doesn't talk. After a few moments, though--
"Since he was a little kid. He must've been... what, eight or nine, when we met? Adorable. It was back when I was in school. ...I knew his older brother, you see." A free hand rises, rests lightly on a chain about her neck, though whatever it /is/ is concealed below her collar.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Lan hasn't appreciably changed the way she interacts with Leah even after seeing her metal limbs; whether or not this is because Lan is Lan or because she's really good at disguising awkwardness is debatable.
"You think so too?" she asks. Lan would really like to think that there's something to hope for. That all people can become better than they are. They just have to figure out how. It's just another name for what people have been doing since the dawn of time: evolving.
Even Lan had noticed it. There was none of the bite that he keeps for other people. There's something... it looks like hesitance, and something like strained fondness. It's different from the way he simply swallows his words in front of Kahran Ramses.
And what kind of person doesn't want to know more about their friends?
"Ahaha, did he have those freckles then too?" Lan can't help but smile a bit as they creep forward around the bend. "Was he always so grouchy?"
She notices the way Leah's hand moves, to something thin and shiny - a necklace. Maybe she's remembering something nice...? Maybe Loren's brother?
"Huh. He never mentioned a brother. I wonder why?" Lan is an only child, and can't really imagine what having a sibling is like, but it probably isn't bad. "I know--" She trails off abruptly, lips sealing shut. 'Knew.'
Ah.
<Pose Tracker> Leah Sadalbari has posed.
Either's a good start. Leah certainly isn't bringing it up at the moment. There's something else to talk about.
"I do," Lan agrees with a small smile, glancing sidelong to Lan out of her good eye. "Everyone has the potential to become more than they have been. ...Sometimes they need to be shown how... But it's possible. I find it gratifying when I see it happen."
Something--Leah, of course, knows much of what it is. She knows Loren, and even if it's been a long time... She reads people well. It's something she's good at. She does however see a little of that in Lan--
Leah laughs softly. "He didn't," Leah answers. "I think it's the sunlight in Aveh that did it. They work though, don't they?"
"He wasn't as disagreeable, no. He had a mouth on him, of course. ...But you know how kids are."
Leah lets the question hang; she lets the awkward moment as Lan gets it stretch out, moment by moment, as she pauses, looks around a corner, and gestures Lan to the right, down the next corridor.
"It's not a story that you'll hear many of us talk about," Leah says, looking into the distance, "But he was still young, when it happened. I'm sure he has unresolved feelings on the matter."
Leah glances back to Lan again, having noticed that her movement was seen. She pulls the necklace, and when the chain is revealed there's a pair of golden bands, one slightly larger than the other. "They certainly don't bring it up around /me/."
"...But his name was Engil."
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
It's nice. Cheering, even, to be told that she's right. That not everybody's so fatalistic. "I like freckles - you don't see a lot of them among the Baskar. He'd be so cute if he smiled more, wouldn't he?" He'd look healthier. Maybe it would mean he was happier.
Sometimes Lan wonders a little bit why she's so interested in Loren. It's not /precisely/ that she feels sorry for him. It's not that she wants to change him into someone new.
It's just... He shouldn't /have/ to feel like that. It must hurt. /He/ must hurt.
And didn't she spend most of the last two years looking for a windmill to tilt at?
Of course she wasn't quite fast enough to keep her foot out of her mouth. She clams up, though too late, and returns her attention to the hallway, shuffling obediently in the correct direction. There's a hint of red at her cheeks. But Leah is merciful despite the power in her hands, and Lan feels a little better for it.
"...Would you rather that I not bring it up again?" she asks, which is the most tactful way Lan knows to say 'are we cool'. A sparkle brings her eyes back to Leah just in time to see what hangs on that chain. 'Oh,' indeed.
She doesn't really even think about it. Just turns, eyes still half watching the hall ahead, arm outstretched with intent to loop around Leah's shoulder for a quick hug. "I'm sorry."
<Pose Tracker> Leah Sadalbari has posed.
It /is/ nice. Leah, for one, believes in peoples' potential. ...As for freckles, "They are," she agrees. "You don't see a lot of them where we come from, either. But he really would--he used to be better at it, believe it or not."
Leah has an interest in Lan's thoughts on Loren, too--but she seems to content herself with listening, watching so far. The way he hurts, though... Well. Who /wouldn't/, in those circumstances?
The older of the two remains utterly calm through the moment of awkward(?) silence, doesn't even comment on Lan's blush. Instead, she focuses for a moment on testing the ground ahead with her spear before they walk on it. ...They pass the wreckage of a few Metal Beasts along the way, their red eyelines long-since gone out.
"I don't mind," Leah answers, "But I would prefer you only bring it up when we're alone. I'm giving him some more time, before I discuss it with him." Pause. "...And I don't want someone else to say something that they would come to regret, in mixed company."
She lets that be instead, pausing as Lan moves to side-hug her. In fact, though it may be a surprise, the arm to the left--where Leah has kept Lan--has the give of normal flesh above the elbow, though the thick leather glove is a little stiff. Leah stops where she is... and then looks down at the ground, with a small smile.
"You're a kind person," Leah says to her. "We were married almost ten years ago now. ...Loren is my younger brother now, you see. So things are a bit different for him."
A beat, "That's not the only reason, of course. But it's the more complicated one for him, I'm sure. We haven't spoken much since Engil died."
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
She glances at the remains of the Metal Beasts as they pass, just long enough to confirm they're dead before the two of them move on. "I understand. I won't say anything to anybody." But it's all starting to make sense now. His brother - Leah's husband - Engil - had died. "...They must've been close."
Weird. Kind. She's getting all kinds of words applied to her lately. "I guess it's just... how it's easiest to be," Lan admits a few moments later, though she's not sure just how admirable that is. But kindness costs nothing, most of the time.
"So it's been a while, then," she assumes, leaving the words at face value for the most part. As awkward as Loren can be, it's good that he's got somebody else looking out for him. "I keep thinking that he must be lonely, but..." Lan lets her words trail off. But what, exactly? It's not like she really has any concrete idea of how to help him figure out his feelings. It's not like it's really any of her business.
Still.
"Do you think he'll get himself sorted out someday?"
<Pose Tracker> Leah Sadalbari has posed.
There will assuredly be more up ahead. ...There should've been more as they passed, but there's no reason that they would entirely fail to meet resistance; it's not as if Leah would have some way of noticing them that far back. ...Would she?
"Thank you. ...He was the kind of person a lot of people looked up to. Bright, talented..." She sounds almost distant--or maybe her eye is just on someone far away instead of the hallway before her.
"That you find it easy is a good thing. Not everyone does. But easy or difficult only matters to you; to everyone else, no matter how hard you worked, it's the results that will be remembered."
Leah inclines her head. "Yes. It'll be seven years, soon. ...He's been dead now longer than I even knew him. Longer than we were together. Funny, isn't it?" She isn't laughing, though.
But here she does turn towards Lan, look her over thoughtfully, clearly evaluating her for some purpose. Silence, for another few moments. But...
"No," Leah answers simply, unblinking. Her voice is gentle, but firm; there's no doubt in her tone.
"Not as things are, not on his own. Unless something changes, the bitterness of what happened will always hold him back, until it's finished twisting him into something unrecognizeable. ...There was a scandal, at the time. Not only Engil died; also those under his command. Failure is not well-received among our people."
Leah looks forward, again, into the distance, or maybe into the future.
"...But if someone were to help him; were to be there, a friend, remind him that not everything is so bitter..."
Leah's blue eye regards Lan again, once more. "Then he might."
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Maybe everybody is busy fighting. That would be nice, right? Unlikely, but nice.
"Maybe I should just be glad that it comes easily to me. It'd be pretty horrible to be fighting your own nature all the time. If you even felt like fighting it before long." As they walk she becomes vaguely aware of Leah's eyes on her, glancing over with a curious look. It feels like she's being judged for something.
It's uncomfortably familiar to how Rigdobrite had looked at her...
So Loren's people had turned on him, then. That would make /anybody/ super grouchy. But to stay on anyway...? What does that say about Loren, or about Solaris?
Lan leans around another corner, holding a hand up to Leah. Footsteps pass distantly.
"I was kind of hoping you'd say that, honestly," she continues once the footsteps have disappeared. "The part about him being able to if he has help. I've been kind of thinking maybe he could use some."
<Pose Tracker> Leah Sadalbari has posed.
"It would, wouldn't it?" Leah asks. "There's not much more difficult than fighting your own nature--or worse, trying to do it alone."
Leah /is/ judging Lan in those moments; it suits her to make that obvious, but the eyepatched woman has to make a call, has to decide based on what she's seen of Lan, on what she's seeing right then. ...But the truth is, despite the look... Much of what she considers is what she saw long before they entered the Photosphere today.
Leah pauses as Lan checks the next corner. She waits, and then--"Were you?" She seems a bit pleased. "I'm glad you've been thinking of him. I can only do so much for him, myself; I'm his brother's wife... and there's the matter of rank, and secrets. So hearing that you've been looking out for him enough to see that is... pleasant."
Only once Lan continues does Leah keep on walking again. She turns away, to stare seemingly into the wall for a few moments, thoughtfully. "...I said something similar before, but I think it's worth repeating; I think we can all do better with a little help. Don't you?"
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
"He's kind of a puzzle. Really smart, doesn't much like other people but is really good at putting them back together when they're hurt. He acts like he expects everybody to hurt him. I guess... now I'm starting to understand why."
Leah looks very hard at the wall. Lan watches her for a few moments before turning back to keep her attention on the tunnel in front of them. They have to be getting close by now - more echoes keep coming from ahead. "I just keep thinking that maybe he doesn't have to feel like that all the time. Yeah," she nods, "I think you're right."
It would be good to help out like that. She wants to save this planet, but when that's over... what about the people who still have to live on it?
Isn't it a saying that 'saving one person is the same as saving the entire world'?
"I want to be there for him," Lan says. "Will you help me out with him?" She can't do something this big by herself.
<Pose Tracker> Leah Sadalbari has posed.
"A misanthropic healer--It's something you'd see in a story, isn't it?" Leah nods, though; she seems to agree with Lan about what she's starting to get, doesn't add much to it for the moment. ...Mostly because there's the wall. If Lan listens hard, there's a faint click before Leah keeps going again, and as they walk, Leah seems to be walking with somewhat more purpose this time.
"I'm glad you think so." Leah adjusts her grip on her spear, rolls her neck lightly, as if stretching for a coming battle in a small way.
Saving one person is the start of saving any number--that would be logical. One is part of all.
"...That's good," Leah answers, nods, and smiles at her. "I will. I've been watching him, of course; if there's something specific... Just let me know. I'd be happy to collaborate."
She pauses, then, lifts her covered hand. "...There's a patrol ahead. We should be able to get the drop on them if we move quickly. Are you ready?"
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
"It sounds like a bad joke," Lan sighs, tucking her hands into her pockets. "I suppose I should be glad he's got a talent for healing and not for anything else. He'd probably feel even worse if he never got to help anyone." People who have to hurt others often enough become hurt themselves. She's heard it plenty of times from her aunts.
When Leah's gait adjusts, Lan's eyes flicker over to the other woman's face. That tells her all she really needs to know - Lan stretches a bit, wiggles her feet in their new boots to test their grip on the metal floor. Yeah, this should work out fine. There's still that chained spear at her back, but Leah seems to have midrange covered.
Lan turns to give Leah a genuine smile as they prepare. "Thanks! I really appreciate it. He'll never know what hit him~"
And neither will the patrol. She can hear them too now; Lan adopts an easy, loose stance and takes her hands out of her pockets. "Yeah. On your mark!"