2019-01-13: What Feels Like Home
- Log: What Feels Like Home
- Cast: Riesenlied, Fei Fong Wong
- Where: New Petra
- Date: 13th January 2019
- Summary: Riesenlied moves seedlings to pots while undergoing physical therapy, and Fei joins her.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied hasn't really been around by herself much -- especially, she's been around Noeline a lot, perhaps even moreso than the usual; it doesn't take much to guess that the loss of Siegfried's made her especially clingy and needy to her loved ones out of a fear that she might've expressed coming to grips with a lot...
But the healing process can't really be hastened like that.
Right now, she's in the semi-open garden section of the Fereshte -- part of the cargo bay past where the Gears are currently stored, with Wiglaff and several others in the distance. She's at a table where...
She's got her wheelchair just behind her, and something that looks like a powerwalker she's leaning hard on as she focuses on tending to several potted plants from saplings that Mariel's granted for her.
Her legs are wobbling hard as she works, and sometimes she relents and flops back onto her chair, exhausted. Some kind of exercise as part of Lily's therapy, perhaps?
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
There is an emptiness in Fei Fong Wong where his feelings on Siegfried once stood. They got intermingled with other lives, lives long past. He remembers it both as if it happened to him but also as if it happened to someone long dead he's never met. Those feelings are still mixed up, still in him, but it feels washed out like a watercolor that used too much water.
The metaphorical camera pans to the right, revealing Fei Fong Wong standing behind Riesenlied. He hasn't been there for long, but he isn't a noisy walker when he's alone with his own thoughts like this. He isn't certain at first why he approached Riesenlied like this. Technically they have made ammends already, in a kind of semi-wordless kind of way, but the guilt remains.
Is that other Riesenlied still there, he wonders. Could he reach out and check? He does not.
"You're working hard." Fei says. "Do you want any help? I don't quite have your green farm but I've helped with gardens before."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Where is Nasrin?
The player should've really written about a cutscene, but alas. It's been quiet in her head, as if the punisher has gone and taken her own rest following Id's. Perhaps it's the mark of a change within her. Within the both of them. Mother's demise and the destruction of the Photosphere marks a large era of change in many ways. It doesn't mean she's gone, but...
"O-oh, oh," Riesenlied stammers as she looks up with a smile. She's a little off her stable ground at present, dabbing a bit of sweat as she smiles to Fei to say, "I was just transplanting these seedlings into pots... after a few months, they'll be big enough that they'll go on the big planters Val's taking care of."
She gestures to the seedlings that're still bundled on a sphere of soil on the table. Doesn't look too hard.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
It's okay Fei's player didn't write a cutscene either. Not yet, at least. Sometimes the cutscene can be implied.
"Doesn't sound too hard. Even a guy like me can do that." He approaches the seeds, picking up a spare pot and setting it down nearby. "I'm sorry I haven't been around too much. Elly and I have been taking some time to recover, work some things out, think about the future...that sort of thing. Had to talk to Leon of course. I've appreciated your kindness during the New Year."
He starts packing the seedling in, trying to keep the soil level with the roots deep. He shows it to Riesenlied. "How'd I do?"
He hesitates for a moment, not quite immediately jumping into it, but he does add, "Revitalizing the land is a tough thing, but that's what makes it worth doing, yeah?"
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied pushes her elbow a little on her wheelchair as if she's trying to tiptoe and peek, but nods as she smiles to say, "That's good. The only real thing to caution is that you don't pack the soil too tight, because you want water to be able to drain through to the bottom..."
She smiles just a little bit more tiredly. "I'm glad for your and Elly's company too. It's been busy here. And-- oh--"
A pause, as she pipes down. "You talked to Mister Leon? He seemed a bit... distracted. I understand there's much to talk about, between him and Lily and you..."
A longer pause. "Yes... even now, I don't think I feel differently that I love Filgaia. Doing these little things, a little at a time... it's well worth it."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei Fong Wong says, "Makes sense, makes sense." He ducks down to set his pot with the others. "Yeah. Elly's kind. Kind enough that she's willing to share the blame with me. I guess since you're sharing the good, too, it's not so bad."
He pauses. "And--yes. We had to talk about what happened. He knew less than Lily, knew less than you even. I offered to quit the Wolves but he decided to keep me on. Cause we were friends." Fei smiles faintly at that. "He said I'd have to learn more about the other guy so as to better resist him--least when he wants to hurt folks."
He stands himself up and makes his way back to the pots to work on the next one.
"Riese. Why did you follow us to Ignas? Was it just to stop us or was there some other reason?"
Fei can finally ask a question like that now that he knows.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied puckers her lips for am oment as she listens to Fei, about Elly. She's been kind and gentle to her too. And when she hears she's willing to share the blame... she thinks a little about her obsessions to draw ire from other people, keep them protected. Keep Noeline's identity hidden, so that she could still enjoy the lifestyle she wanted back then. No matter the cost.
"... that sounds like a good plan in general. We've both been on that path before," Riesenlied speaks gently. Of Nasrin, indirectly. "It's going to be long and tough, but... we don't have to do it on our own."
She hesitates for a moment as Fei asks her a more direct question.
"... I don't know... I kept telling other people I was investigating what consumed Garlyle in a single night, and what nearly killed me. For security's sake, for intelligence..."
Even she doesn't bother trying to make it sound convincing.
"But I guess... more than that... back then, I was just a fledgeling empath. I heard the voices of the fossils, of the Dragons below the earth... and I heard something beckon me to Garlyle on that day."
A pause.
"Maybe... maybe I wanted to learn more about what was happening to me too."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
It's doubtful that Fei intends to have Elly handle it on her own. Frankly, even saying that, it's probably still tough for Fei to let Elly handle any of it. But Noeline and Riesenlied's resolution to share their burdens is no doubt no small part of Fei's own resolution to try and let Elly carry a share of it. Elly has her own burdens, after all, they just don't involve her having a supervillain side personality.
Fei looks at Riesenlied as he explains that 'something' called her to Garlyle. Fei can't help but wonder aloud, "I wonder if even then he was trying to contact someone." He can't know for sure. There's other possibilities.
"I'm glad you came to Ignas. I wish it had been under better circumstances, but our world would have been much smaller without you." He doesn't clarify whether he means his own life or Filgaia itself. Maybe he means both.
He places another seedling into a pot carefully. His hands can be gentle in the right situation. It might be hard to believe someone capable of punching out dinosaurs could handle plants with this kind of care.
"I am lucky. I have Elly, and Xantia, the Wolves and you, Hiro and Ruby, Ida. A lot of folks who would be completely in their right mind to leave me behind. It's a big family, but over and over I've been immensely grateful for them."
He looks to Riesenlied. "But for Lacan..."
He is quiet for a moment. "Well, maybe you're the last family he's got."
He sets down the second pot. "Are you going to visit Equites again?"
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied has a more slow, conflicted look of rumination. Even now, when she's certain that much of what pulls her probably comes from the Ley... there are still more mysteries than answers. And maybe a part of her knows that spiritual awareness, the kind that she's been immersed in, won't ever be fully explainable.
She lets that thought stew as she takes hold of the frame again and-- lets out another grunt of effort as she pushes herself up on those taloned legs of hers. Her calves jitter, and she leans awkwardly against one side as she takes one of the saplings.
"I was worried, to be sure. I wasn't like Noeline... I hadn't gone anywhere but Elru," Riesenlied speaks gently. "I think I tried to mimic a lot of what I admired about her when I started out."
She chuckles for a moment and lowers her head. "... we all... have a big family. Everyone here's-- would be happy to help support you too, you know?" She sucks in a breath as she packs that soil in, wiping her hands off on a cloth afterwards.
A pause. "Lacan..." A moment longer. "... I still... I don't know. Maybe after all that's happened, I have an inkling of how father felt at the time. It's..."
She heaves out a tired breath and sits back down again. She can't manage more than a minute of standing up time. Still, she looks a bit proud of herself.
"It's a reminder, maybe. That pain that came from centuries ago still affect us today, so it's important that I don't cause more grief for those that'll be here long, long after our time."
Fei asks about Equites. "Maybe... Noeline's mentioned visiting Elder Halle too." She places her fingers to the Medium embedded at her neck. "... I think I heard their voices very briefly, at that time when I was..."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei doesn't rush to help steady Riesenlied. He figures the difficulty of it is what Riesenlied will have to endure for her own recovery. If he doesn't let her endure it, she might recover more slowly. Or not recover at all! He can help with the pots though, because part of him just needs to help even if help with labor isn't wholly what Riesenlied needs right now.
But her words, Fei thinks. The reason they were so hard for Id to believe he imagines was because he believed in words like that himself in the past but he didn't succeed. He failed.
Now Riesenlied has failed, but she still wishes to keep at it. Maybe that's why Id's empathic assault didn't have as much of an effect as he expected.
"You're a wiser one than I." Fei says. "But I'll fight for your people's future to the best of my ability. I know that's a small promise right now but one day since truth be told it may be a long time since I can really give 'my best' considering my situation but... maybe one day that faraway promise will mean something."
Seeing the truth about the fall of Deus Ex Machina taught Fei plenty as well.
He nods slowly to Riesenlied's answer. "If you do see Equites again, I'd like to come along. Maybe he has advice or demands of me. After fighting off Mother, I wonder what has changed for them...and what our next step will be."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
It's hard. It's definitely hard to hear such words, to believe them, and have your belief be utterly wrecked in the moment. She still can remember the instant when she watched the Watcher's fist tear through Siegfried's armour, when he fell without saying another word to her...
Riesenlied lets out a more strained noise as she tucks herself back in -- maybe she's done with her reps at present, getting a bit more comfortable in her wheelchair.
"I owe it to Wayside," Riesenlied speaks, as if she can sense what they're feeling between the words. "They're the ones that really taught me that it's okay to fail, to fall, to not be able to do something right now... because no one can live life as an all or nothing gamble their entire lives."
A pause, as she smiles just a bit wider as she says, "Maybe that's why I came to Ignas too. To make something happen. And despite all the setbacks and pain, we've made something happen. A little flower has blossomed."
She nods just a moment as Fei says he wants to come. "... I can't hear Odoryuk's voice, even with the Medium, but... it's okay, I think. Like he once said to me... we can eventually overcome such walls together."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei nods slowly once. "Yeah," He says. "We will." He smiles. "If it were easy it'd be done by now, but we don't need easy. And if we fail, then the folks who come after it will make it happen. Or after them."
He sounds sad when he says it like that, like he has some idea of the odds, but there's a resoluteness to it that wasn't there before when Fei talked on matters like that. He's not sure if it's the resolve to move forward, but it is at least the resolution to face it. With his understanding of his other self's presence, he has some idea of just how difficult it's going to be for him, maybe even for Riesenlied, but knowing it's going to be tough is a far cry from thinking it's impossible. It's as if what the one thing he could be certain of changed very softly but it's nonetheless changed him.
Into what, time will tell.
"A little flower huh..." Fei says, closing his eyes for a moment. "I...think you're understating it, a little. I think it's more like the first tree of a forest."
"The one that we'll have to tend to until it's strong enough to live on its own once again."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
There was a time when the idea that change may not happen in her generation daunted Riesenlied. But perhaps it was indeed exposure to humans, shining and living to their fullest in the lifespans that they did have, that helped temper that view a little. Or perhaps it was in a way her own mortality, even if that was a deeply somber topic.
"Hehe, maybe," Riesenlied bashfully admits in turn. "Maybe I'm just thinking of the story of Laevateinn still." The story of the magic sword that never was, that was actually a little twig and a flower growing nobly on parched wasteland...
... and, y'know, a giant golden invincible cucco that she editorialised in. don't judge
"I think that's enough for the pots right now. Val said she'd rotate them in as needed... I think I'm going to go rest for a bit. This standing up exercise is very difficult!"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei says, "If it weren't for 'Laevateinn', there might not be an Adelhyde anymore, though in truth it was you, Elly, the others--that pulled me back out. I might not be 'me' anymore, so--thank you for being my friend." That's how Hiro told him it was, and he's going to have to get used to saying it a lot because that's what lets him look in the mirror in the morning sometimes.
He sets down his last pot and says, "Of course. It's the time for resting. I hope you recover soon, but--take your time. The world will still be spinning if you take a few extra days."
"I'll...be around. These places are what feel like home to me."
And this time, he's vowed, he'll protect not destroy it.