2019-02-02: Buried Truths

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===============================<* Dazil City *>===============================

Located a few miles from the southern edge of the Great Aveh Desert, Dazil serves as the staging point for expeditions and travels deeper into the heart of the continent. Wells dug deep intot he earth with the assistance of the Ethos still produce water, and so the small city remains viable despite the ongoing desertification.

With its proximity to the excavation sites dotting the Great AVeh Desert, Dazil attracts a great deal of attention from Etones, Drifters, and anyone else interested in uncovering ARMs. Aveh's military keeps a close eye on the goings-on in Dazil, and stands ready to confiscate ancient weapons or Gears uncovered by fortune-seekers...although with the battle lines ever shifting, those forces are occasionally called away for a few precious hours.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-u3RUAeYWM

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Following several days of unconsciousness, it was only yesterday that Xantia finally awakened. Sadly, it appeared the incident of a week ago had caused her to lose her memory all over again, but there was a glimmer of hope. She recognized the people present when she awoke: Lily, Rosaline, and Fei, seeming to even recall the latter's dual nature. It couldn't be argued that she was entirely the Xantia they remembered, however. For one thing, she didn't seem to mind having lost her memory, vaguely recalling that this is what she wanted to happen.

She also seemed convinced that her grandpa would be coming, and that he'd know what to do. Sure enough, at that very moment, the man she was referring to arrived: Baskar shaman Jolen Crann, who saved her when she was found collapsed in the Great Desert of Aveh two years ago.

Claiming that they had no time to lose, Jolen immediately began preparations for a ritual of some sort, and bid everyone to stay and participate, as they were the best and only hope of restoring the Xantia that they all know. Preferably, to find one more person to participate, someone else who Xantia feels a strong connection to. When Elly arrived, and Xantia recognized her by name as someone important to her, she was immediately recruited for this purpose as well.

And thus we find ourselves at the current point in time, in Xantia's private room at the Ethos facility she was being taken care of, Xantia herself laying down on her bunk. Four chairs, two on either side of the bed, have been put into position for Fei, Elly, Lily and Rosaline. At the foot of the bed, Jolen Crann stands up to his full, considerable height, eyes closed as he calms his seemingly already eterally calm mind even further.

What's going to happen today has already been explained in brief. Jolen will be sending everyone on a variation on the Baskar Spirit Quest, in which one person's mind serves as the 'host mind', which the minds of all other participants are connected to. In ancient times, this ritual had been used as a last resort as an attempt to cure various mental disabilities. Though there had been some great successes, in recent times the ritual is generally frowned upon as an unacceptable risk, as failure can result in additional mental damage to the subject, and the other participants as well.

To minimize said risk, Jolen himself will not be directly joining the Quest, staying on the outside to magically aid the stability of the mental connection. As for the other, non-magical components of the ritual... everyone has been given a cup of herbal tea to drink, prepared by Jolen. He didn't clarify which herbs were used, only that the mixture's effects were strongly psychotropic. So, natural drugs, in essence.

The tea's strange smell, both acrid and sweet, is enough to already start feeling a little drowsy and light-headed. The effect when drunk... well, everyone's already had the opportunity to see what it did to Xantia, who was instructed to drink it before everyone else. Jolen had to step in to catch the tea cup - she was out before she could even set it down. Jolen noted that this was unusual, it should have taken at least 15 seconds for that to happen, theorizing that this was due to an extremely weakened mental state.

Once everyone has taken a seat and a cup of tea, Jolen moves into the final preparatory phase. As he explained, initiating the Spirit Quest is easy. It's magically keeping everyone's minds linked together and focused on Xantia's that's going to be the challenge. If for any reason that part of the equation goes awry, they could end up confronted by their own mental hangups. Normally that's the point of a Spirit Quest, but this time, the objective is to guide Xantia in retrieving what she's lost. They can't afford to get distracted from that.

Once prepared as well as he can be, Jolen opens his eyes, offering some final words of advice. "Please, above all else, remember that you will be interacting directly with Xantia's mind. Anything you say, anything you do while so linked may end up having a profound effect on her thoughts and beliefs. Normally speaking, I would thus recommend subtlety and caution, to let things happen as they may. But in her current state..." He shakes his head slowly. "I leave it up to your discretion. All that I ask... no, I implore you. Resist the urge to impose your own judgment. Rather, think of Xantia as you know her, and guide her in the way that you believe she would have wanted. I am shamed to admit that you would know who Xantia wishes to be far better than I."

His calm, yet authoritive gaze passes over everyone present in turn. "Are you all fully prepared? If you have any questions remaining, now is the time to ask." 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Grandpa will know. Grandpa is here. ...Was it really coincidence, that he found Xantia then? Was it after what had happened? Lily has more questions than answers right now... But the answers seem on the edge of arrival. When he arrived, Lily looked to him thoughtfully, and said little. Now...

Lily sits in one of the chairs, listening. And now, with a cup of tea before her--

"...I'm going to need another. I'm resistant to most substances like this in general. Whatever it does."

She has a lot of reasons not to want it to work; she sees Xantia falling asleep, the paranoid part of her demands that she learn more about Jolen first, since the last time she met him, and yet...

She's willing to take the risk. She can hope that she doesn't lose control without falling unconscious herself--that would be... a problem.

Once given the second cup though, Lily holds both, considering the path before them. The request--"Yes," Lily says. "She wants to remember--to know who she is, regardless of how difficult it may be. I..."

Lily considers; she's seated, with Dog curled at her feet, a guardian but not planning to go in herself. Naturally. "if something goes too wrong," Lily says first, "Dog will awaken me. If I lose control." Or if Fei does, for that matter, though there's not a ton Lily could do about that really. However, that's not the big thing. The big--

"This isn't a question. It's a statement." Lily looks to Jolen, thoughtful. "...I believe that this happened when you found her, as well. The data we've put together, the things we've seen--I can't call it coincidence. So I believe that we're closing in on at least some of the truth." 

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

 
THEN.

Elly panicks briefly when she is seized and brought into the circle of ascension. "B-but I'm just --"

NOW.

Elly is sitting in her chair wearing a clean white dress. It's actually a shift or night gown or something but it felt obscurely important to her to wear something clean and new for her. This is probably a good instinct. Yeah... Instinct.

She is sitting next to Fei, naturally enough. As Jolen blends the tea and explains, Elly nods along.

And Jolen asks them a question.

Before she replies to Jolen she reaches over with her right hand to take Fei's left hand.

"I'm going to be here for you," she tells Fei quietly, her voice soft if not quite a whisper. "I know... you might be concerned. But I think you might be the one best suited to help her, despite everything. And I mean it. I'm going to be there every long last millimeter. You can count on me. Alright?"

Then she kisses him on the cheek, straightens up, and reaches towards the tea cup. "If I do have a bad reaction," she tells Jolen, "Please get everybody out of the area, alright? Otherwise..."

"It's a little bizarre, I suppose, but I think I understand the idea pretty well by now." 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Unsurprisingly, Fei is a little nervous about going into persona dunge---into Baskar Spirit Quests. You'd be uneasy about undertaking activities like that too if your other personality was Id. It's a dangerous place, wandering through Fei's mind, and it's frankly a miracle that those who did step inside with Laevantinn made it back out. It probably helped they skipped along the surface, largely, rather than digged deep.

Naturally, Jolen mentioning that entering this kind of 'Spirit Quest' can be dangerous to the mental stability of the participants as well makes Fei frown deep frowns.

He looks down at his tea cup. A psychotropic. This is a great idea, he thinks, taking mind altering substances.

As Jolen gives Fei a tutorial that, for him, is honestly unneccessary Fei's hand starts shaking and he places his other hand on top of the cup so its contents do not spill. It's like each hand is contradicting the other in the moment, one trying to splash the contents out of the cup and another trying to ensure he doesn't lose his chance to help Xantia.

Of course Fei's mental hangups want to help Xantia as well, but vague images flash in his mind. Broken puppets, strings cut, bodies falling down. There is no context.

"She believes in you," Fei tells Jolen. "As much as, if not more, than any of us."

But he doesn't drink the tea. The hand covering the tea is pulled away by Elly and held. The shaking stops and Fei looks towards Elly, faint tears in his eyes. He takes in a few deep breaths and nods to Elly a few times, and then--carefully since heavy jostling right now is a bad idea--gives Elly a small hug.

"Thank you," He whispers. "I think... I think we can do this."

He closes his eyes, taking another breath. "Right, 'Id'?"

...Whatever. At least it's by our own will.

Fei lifts the tea cup up and says, "Down the rabbit hole."

He will drink when it's time. 

<Pose Tracker> Rosaline Calice has posed.

A Baskar ritual in an Ethos facility. Well, there's a first time for everything. Rosaline made sure to close the door.

She had actually been on a similar spirit quest once, largely by hilarious accident. The experience left her shaken up, and she has some misgivings about psychotropic drugs for perhaps obvious reasons, but she barely hesitated at the prospect of going through it again for her friend.

She sits now, cradling her cup of tea without trying to disguise her anxiety. Jolen gives his instructions, and her grip tightens slightly. "I'll... I'll do my best, she says." Resisting the urge to impose their own judgment. This may be a tall order, since being judgmental is arguably part of Rosaline's job. No pressure. No pressure at all.

Jolen asks if they have any questions. Lily believes they might be closing in on the truth. "I hope so too." And yet, she can't shake the nagging thought that this might all be a waste of time, and that Xantia's progress in finding out who she is, such as it is, has all but evaporated.

Elly and Fei whisper to one another, kiss and hug. Rosaline's heart can't resist being warmed at the sight, and she even twitches a smile, though like so many things, it comes with its host of complicated feelings.

"I can't think of anything to ask," she then says, quietly, turning back to Jolen. She holds the cup up with a slightly shaky hand, both apprehensive and eager to get this over with.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Jolen's eyebrow raises at Lily's request, but goes to pour her a second cup without any objections. "I suppose it cannot do any harm... the herbal mixture itself is completely safe, at worst you may remain asleep for longer afterwards. The more important thing is that you all enter the trance at roughly the same time, so I can smoothly bind your minds to one another. If you suspect more is needed, then it's a wise precaution to drink it all right away."

With that, he brings Lily her second cup. He doesn't argue with the other precautions, not appearing to have any objections. More accurately, he doesn't believe there's any risk in that department, confident in his own ability to keep the mental focus of a party of four firmly on the mind of a fifth, keeping any potential disruptions magically suppressed. To the point where even Fei may end up being on his own for this one. Though he hasn't said anything to the effect, he seems confident enough for it to be a safe assumption that this isn't the first time he's done something like this.

All that he does say on the matter, to address Elly and Rosaline's concerns as well, is, "I assure you, I will do everything in my power to keep everyone safe, directly involved or otherwise." He nods to Fei when he expresses faith in him, on Xantia's behalf as well. "I thank you. I realize this was sudden, and is asking quite a lot. The fact that you all agreed so readily tells me all I need to know. I put my faith in all of you."

Rather than questions, there is only Lily's statement. "A reasonable hypothesis," Jolen agrees, but says no more on the subject. He only inquires, one more time, "Are you all prepared?" Then with a final nod, he closes his eyes and spreads his arms wide, preparing for his own part in all this. "You may drink the tea when ready, as close to simultaneous as you're able."

The tea itself is actually not bad. Though the bitter taste dominates at first, the sweet aftertaste is quite pleasant. One might expect this to gradually lull one to sleep, but the actual effect is more like what just happened to Xantia - it's more like getting knocked unconscious than falling asleep, which may be best for everyone involved, minimizing any risks during that time. Immediately falling that, there is a pulling sensation... then everyone finds themselves somewhere else entirely. 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
<SoundTracker> Bravely Default - Land of Immortality: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oePlVIEQIw4

It will take a moment for the eyes to adjust, darkness abruptly replaced with a brilliant light. The mind, too, will need some time to fully process the current situation. Only once both ocular and mental faculties have readjusted do you become aware of your surroundings, and the actions currently being taken by your body - or what appears to be your body, identical in its appearance to how it appears outside of this mental landscape.

You find yourself walking down a long winding staircase with translucent steps, which vanish behind you as soon as you step off one. There is no sense of time, no way to tell how long you've been walking, how long you need to continue walking. There's merely an empty white void back in the direction you came from. Glancing aside, you can see the others who came here with you, descending identical staircases of their own. You instinctively know all will converge in the same location down below, even if you can't immediately make out what's down there, hidden by a foggy haze.

You appear to be in some kind of massive structure, featuring crystalline walls that shine with a pure white light. No particular features stand out, evoking a sense of emptiness to contrast with its beauty. You have a moment to gather your thoughts on this place and the situation as your awareness fully returns, and you remember the reason why you came here. Why you all came here. Somewhere down here, Xantia needs your help.

As soon as this thought comes to you, the fog instantly lifts as if it were never there, revealing a large, square floating platform as translucent as the steps you're moving down. This is where the staircases end, and where you can all meet with one another again.

This is also where you find the object of your search. A large crystal floats in the center of the platform, and within it, you can see Xantia. Her eyes are closed and her arms folded over her chest, unmoving. It's plain to see that while she is trapped like that, nothing can be done - she must be freed before anything else.

But she's not the only one there. Standing in front of the crystal, looking upwards at it, is a figure in a grey hooded cloak. As you approach, the figure turns to face you. Or perhaps 'face' is the wrong word to use, as there is no face visible beneath the cloak, or anything at all for that matter. You can sense a presence beneath it, you just can't grasp its form, no matter how you try. Then you hear a voice.

"Visitors, here? Intriguing. You have come for her, I assume. But for what reason? You know nothing of this girl, like she knows nothing of herself. Why, then, would you go this far?"

The sound of the voice, as well, cannot be identified. You hear the words, but you can infer nothing about this figure's identity. At the very least, it doesn't feel hostile. It makes no effort to bar your path should you choose to move past and approach the crystal. It seems merely... curious. 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Lily is largely recovered by now, so two she has and two she takes. The preparations the others have to make she leaves to them, declining to try to interrupt the moment Elly and Fei have. She just nods to Rosaline, listens... and drinks her tea.

She doesn't seem to care that it's hot; she downs both, and in moments, her eyes close.

-=-=-=

Lily opens her eyes. She is utterly calm in the space her mind takes to construct reality around her. Her surroundings register; she is walking, and the steps behind are disappearing. In dark resting attire, only thin gloves conceal the markings on her hands, and the dress she wears cannot hide the circuitry up at her neck, disappearing under fabric towards her shoulders. She glances back, to the void; to the side, around--and then down. "..."

Her soft soles make little sound against the stairs as she walks. Finally, she remembers why she is here... and there is a sense of approval she can feel. The fog lifts, and there--

"Mm..." The witch looks up to the crystal, thoughtful. "I wonder--are we to take it that Xantia is trapped, then? That her memory is sealed? ...That she considers her 'self' to be memory...?"

Lily's golden gaze slides to the figure in gray. Naturally, she looks at the cloak, at the figure; she finds nothing, but she makes the effort. "Who are you?" Lily asks. Then she pauses. "...I'll bite. An answer for an answer, then. To answer your question first--I want to learn of her, just as she wants to learn of herself. Know her or not, she's my responsibility; she's under my care. And she's told me she wants to know, regardless of how difficult the knowledge may be."

She pauses, then, looks to the crystal, and studies it thoughtfully. She lifts her hand, closing her eyes, and reaches out with her will. She looks for breaks, for signs of life... 

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

 
Elly drinks her god damn tea.

She slumps forwards afterwards, the tea cup rolling out of her hand. It levitates a foot abve the ground before landing. This may nto be the weirdest thing Jolen has to see. Elly's eyes flutter...

deep dive

Elly opens her eyes. The light is bright... unnaturally so.

But it reminds her in a sudden way of home.

That was the difference, Elly thinks. Even in ruins, the light is never like this. But it was, in...

She's standing on a staircase. Is she alone? Oh, no, she thinks -

Elly looks to her right. No. She squeezes the hand she feels, even if the luminosity hides Fei from her site for a moment.

Her eyes turn downwards, and the revelation of the crystal makes her draw in her breath. She descends and then there is the cloaked figure, the master of the passage.

Questions are posed.

"Love," she answers, for the first question.

Elly closes her eyes because the next steps are more complex. "... Xantia is someone who reminds me of myself... and someone who I care about. So, those are two reasons. Many other people care for her too. But that's a little facile, isn't it?"

"Filgaia - Lunar - everywhere... it seems to be a cycle. What everyone always says is that 'strength,' 'conquering,' 'power,' are what is needed. But I don't think that's the case. I think... that what we need is understanding."

Elly looks back at the figure, then. "I want to understand," Elly says, with a nod of the head. 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei has but one mind, even if that one mind is often of two (or three) minds, but Id has no intention of disrupting the proceedings. He wants Xantia to be as safe from this as anybody else and honestly he's just not feeling it.

So far the 'dream' is fairly benign for what Fei usually goes through, but the fact that Elly is not standing next to him immediately is concerning but he's relieved when he sees Elly and the others making down their own staircases.

After that point, It's easy to focus on Xantia and this situation right now rather than reflect on his own frayed conciousness.

There's Xantia, in a crystal. A mysterious hooded figure (Fei honestly sighs a little at seeing a mysterious hooded figure) speaks to them but he doesn't sense hostility from them so maybe they're not the kind of mysterious figure Fei is accustomed to.

Fei wasn't really expecting a question like that, to be honest he wasn't expecting questions at all, but he does have an answer. "I disagree with the basis of your assertion." Fei says. "Xantia would have done the same for me, but even if I do not know every detail of her past, or if there are aspects of her personality buried with her missing memories--she is still a person who has made her own memories with us. She is not just a friend, she is family."

He isn't sure if this is a phantom or an aspect of Xantia herself, but he keeps his thoughts on Xantia even when confronted with another individual.

Elly gives her own answer and Fei nods once, particularly to the former point, he does't need to repeat it but just as Xantia reminds Elly of Elly but also another, Xantia reminds Fei of Fei and also another. 

<Pose Tracker> Rosaline Calice has posed.

"Thank you," Rosaline tells Jolen. At least it's clear that they can trust him with his end of the ritual, and he trusts them in return. Rosaline's own self-confidence is another matter.

In any case, she can't let herself be bogged down by her fears. She drinks when the signal is given, depositing her cup a little hastily, in case she ends up dropping it. She closes her eyes, feels that pulling sensation, and...

Her eyes adjust quickly, even though they aren't... her eyes, per se, but just like last time, this place feels uncannily real to her. Seeing the others go down the other set of stairs is reassuring, if nothing else. Is this Heaven? she dimly wonders. She makes her way down, one step at a time, and...

The structure is beautiful, even if devoid of context. Her awareness returns, and her quiet, regular steps turn into a jog as she joins the others. "Well... here we are." And just in front of them is... Xantia. "It seems like it," she answers Lily.

Immediately, her mind races to figure out which combination of ARMs and sorcery would be the best for breaking her out without harming her. This may be a little hasty, however, as they have someone to greet them.

She blinks, wide-eyed at the sight of the hooded figure. At least it's not a mask, which is a change of pace. They speak up, and immediately, Rosaline wonders if this is the one who was speaking through her when they fought. The words sound familiar, at least.

"We met Xantia nearly two years ago now. We may not know who she was before then, but in that span of time, she's been a supportive friend and a courageous ally. She dived into the flames of Hell to rescue me and my friends from ourselves when we were at our lowest. I don't know about the others, but I don't need to know anything more to do the same for her."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

The crystal, at a glance, may be translucent, but looks to be completely solid. Using force to break Xantia out of that would take forever. Lily's more in-depth study reveals no obvious structural weaknesses, but confirms that Xantia is alive in there, detecting a weak heartbeat. Whether that can be trusted to mean the same as it normally would in a world separated from reality is the question.

"Who am I?" The figure repeats the question. It doesn't appear to have an immediate answer to what should be a simple question. Instead, it responds to Lily's answer to its own question. "You speak like a scientist. Albeit one with a bit more compassion for their research subject than most, perhaps."

It turns to Elly next. "Love and understanding, you say? Fascinating. Certainly not the predominent motivations where you come from. Yet I sense no deception in your words."

Fei... doesn't get an immediate response. The figure regards him silently, then responds to Rosaline first. "So you wish for the return of the one she has become, not the one that she used to be. You must choose carefully then, on the road ahead."

The figure looks to Fei again. Even if there are no eyes visible, it's an uncomfortable gaze, as if the figure is trying to look through him. Having no sense of the passage of time makes this an especially odd sensation. It takes forever to respond, yet it responds immediately. "Family. I see. Then I will say no more."

Finally getting back to the question it was asked, it settles on, "Here, I am but a figment of a vague memory. An observer, at best. You, perhaps, may make a difference, where I currently cannot."

Without clarifying further, the figure starts to fade. Just before it disappears entirely, something odd happens. For a measure of time - which meaningless as it currently is lasts as long as it needs to to be clearly visible - the single figure has become two. One in a lighter grey cloak, one in a darker grey cloak. The figure's parting words are likewise split in two, simultaneously speaking slightly different words.

"I'll leave her to you."
"I'll be watching you." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

As soon as the figures vanish, everything changes. The crystalline structure is abruptly gone. Your surroundings have become metal, a dull grey now the predominant color. The silence that reigned before this moment is replaced with periodic hisses of steam, creaking of gears, and other sounds of machinery far in the distance.

Rather than standing on a free-floating platform, you're now in a square room, with open doors in all four cardinal directions. The crystal in its center no longer appears as it did before, having become more cylindrical, and set upon a raised pedestal rather than floating off the ground. Xantia can no longer be clearly seen within it, mainly because its surface is heavily spider-webbed, as if someone had been trying to punch their way through for some time now. Because that's exactly what's been happening.

It only takes a few more punches for the glass prison to shatter, and Xantia to collapse through it. Weakened from the effort, but conscious, and quick to return to standing up straight again, regardless of whether or not she was aided in any way. She looks upon all of you in turn, then nods.

"So you're all here, great. There's no time to lose. Look over there."

She points towards one of the open doors. All that's visible is the beginnings of a corridor, and far, far in the distance, a speck of light gleams in the darkness.

"What I've been looking for all this time... it's there. It's all there. My lost memories. I just have to make it there. That's all I have to do... but there's something in my way. I don't know if I can get through, but I have to try."

She steps towards the door, determined in spite of her condition, and looks over her shoulder. "I'll understand if you don't want to help me do this. You want... who I am, not who I could be. Even so, I'm not going back without them."

Unless prevented from doing so, with that she will continue on, to make her way out the door. 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Nothing obviously strange happens with Lily, for the moment, despite her concerns. Nothing save a faint glow of red from the patterns inscribed on her body, albeit with no obvious effect. In the dream, such as it is, though--

Lily listens to the others talk of their feelings, of their own assertions, and the answer to her.

A scientist? "I'm a soldier," Lily corrects whoever it is. "But we all have to make sense of our worlds somehow." Nevertheless that feels a little strange, and Lily finds herself troubled and quiet through the explanation, through whatever they can say about the figure's identity. Two?

As the world around them changes, Lily lowers her hands to her sides again. Gears, machinery are not unusual to a woman from Nortune, and after ascertaining that their surroundings lack immediate danger, Lily looks to the crystal in the pedestal. Immediately she moves towards it--while destroying it would have been very difficult otherwise, with Xantia, the work is handled quickly enough. Lily is there by the time it breaks, and moves to help her up. She meets her eyes in greeting--and... Wonders. Is this Xantia? Is it the same, is it some trick? They really can't know.

"Here," the medic says then, shaking her head, and extends her hand towards Xantia. Golden light gleams from her hands as she shields Xantia in Ether, if nothing goes strange with it, gives her a bit of defense to compensate for her weakened form.

"I'm with you." And not just her, obviously. Her hands lower, and orbs of flame burst into being, beginning to rotate about her hands, two then four, as she breathes in.

"Explain what you can, but I'll follow for now." 

<Pose Tracker> Rosaline Calice has posed.

The figure's answer to Rosaline has her looking at the ground for a moment. "I don't know... That's just how I feel. It should be up to her, in the end." Choose carefully indeed.

The figure leaves them to their task, before splitting into two and disappearing. Hm. But Rosaline has to take a moment to get her bearings again as the surroundings change, and Xantia... Wait.

Xantia is out, and Rosaline rushes over to her side, though it seems she doesn't need a hand getting up. She isn't sure at first if this Xantia remembers the past two years, but the preoccupation with her lost memories is a good enough sign. She has her eyes on the prize, even if this means this reunion isn't as joyous as it could be.

"Are you sure?" Rosaline asks. "Well, it's worth a try, at least. You've been working so hard to find your memories, and this might be our first real chance to do so." A part of her has to wonder if what this Xantia wants is what, in Jolen's words, she would have wanted to become, but so far, Rosaline sees nothing objectionable in giving it a shot.

Besides, Rosaline sort of wants to know too.

"I'll also help," she says, putting a hand on her chest and incanting one of her usual healing spells. She isn't entirely sure they would work here, but if so, this should put some spring in the weakened Xantia's step.

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

 
'I'll leave it to you.'
'I'll be watching you.'

That was a little weird, Elly thinks, but she strives to keep herself stable. She sweeps forwards as the world moves from crystalline litten to metal corridors. She wonders, again, if perhaps...

Could this be?

                                (ARE they sisters?)

Elly can't contain the thought but she can keep it from being spoken aloud. She squeezes Fei's hand as the crystal reappears and takes a form that is, somehow, familiar to her. A tube with a woman inside of it. Why? That's such a strange thought. It reminds her of her shower in her room back home --

Until Xantia begins punching it, of course. She takes a deep breath, then Xantia speaks. She looks as inclined.

"... This is the sort of thing I was thinking about, heh..."

"What do you think we ought to do, Fei? I don't think we should stop her... but is it enough for friends to simply be present?" 

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei raises two eyebrows when 'It' starts talking about Solarian culture and curls his fingers to press them against his palms when 'It' looks back at him but he wasn't lying. Xantia was one of the first people he truly befriended since his exile from What Was Left Of Lahan Village (there was nothing left of Lahan Village). When 'It' says it will say no more, Fei lowers his head. He can't focus on his own insecurities now. He was practically told as much by the wise old man and it generally pays to listen to those.

Duality doesn't really shock him anymore.

Onward. The scenery changes. Erauqs Si Dlorw Eht.

At least Xantia's presence here finetunes his focus. He steps about a bit to avoid the broken glass, a million shades of light.

But then Xantia is already talking about moving towards the light. Hopefully the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train.

Elly asks him what they should do but there isn't a lot of time to give an answer. It's like one of those adventure games where there's a time limit before the game picks an option for you! Oh no! Fei listens to this Xantia. He knows full well this might not be THE Xantia, but it is A Xantia and that's good enough at the moment. He remembers when he snapped at Xantia over their differing beliefs over memories. Perhaps the wound was deeper than Xantia had let on.

He thinks about what Elly would do and he says, "Xantia tried to protect us before that other her took over. Let's believe in her."

"You weren't wrong." Fei adds, turning to Xantia. "It's clear to me now, more than ever," That Kingdom Hearts Is Light. "--That we have to understand who we are. Past and present so long as we have the strength to accept it." He smiles. "Let's find out together, then."

He gives Xantia one shoulder pat. "We'll keep up." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Though clearly determined to move ahead at full speed, Xantia certainly does accept the help that she's given. Healed by Rosaline, and shielded by Lily, she appears reinvigorated, flexing both hands for a moment. If she'd been bashing against what she was encased in for as long as it appeared, that must have been painful. Things in this world do seem to work similarly to how they do in the real world, as it seems like she's no longer suffering from pain or fatigue.

Moreover, she receives emotional support. Directly, from Fei, but Elly's feelings, too, are coming through loud and clear. Xantia's feelings on that are unclear, possibly because she doesn't know how to feel about all this herself. It's a complicated matter, after all. And it's about to only get more complicated.

"...Thank you," she replies simply to the support, looking down a bit and averting her eyes. Then she moves through the door into the corridor beyond. Upon following, she starts the requested explanation, such as it is.

"I've tried this before. But I can never make it through all the way. You'll see."

It may be all the explanation she needs to give, because soon, the corridor opens up... into an identical square room as the one from before. Identical, save from the absence of Xantia's former prison in its center, broken or otherwise. The light is no longer directly up ahead, either. It's now shining through the door on the left from the one the group enters through.

Xantia sighs. "I knew it. Alright, where are you? Show yourself!"

Upon that demand, someone exits through the doorway straight ahead. It's... Xantia. A younger Xantia. This one appears to be around ten years old, wearing a smaller size of the exact same clothes as the other Xantia, the same clothes that she always wears. She smiles, arms behind her head in a relaxed pose. "Trying to leave already? That's not very fair, is it? I've barely had my turn. We can't both leave."

Adult Xantia's face contorts in anger. In a flash, her ARM activates, brandishing the red energy blade threateningly. "If you won't get out of my way, I'll make you."

Child Xantia frowns, then drops into a fighting stance herself, activating her own, identical ARM. "Geez, you're going to try again? Really? You know you can't win, unless I let you. And I won't let you. I'm the one who's going to leave, and that's that."

"Things are different this time. This time, I'm not alone."

With that assertion from Adult Xantia, it seems a fight is about to break out... when a third Xantia rushes into the room from the door on the right. This one looks to be the same age as the other adult Xantia, except she looks far more haggard. Her clothes are torn, her hair's a mess, and unlike the others, she bears many scars, the most prominent one across one of her eyes, which she keeps closed.

"Stop!" the scarred Xantia yells, extending a long-nailed hand forward. "You mustn't leave! Neither of you can leave, none of us can leave! It won't solve anything, it's just going to make everything worse! I know it's hard, but staying here is the only way!"

The other two Xantias glance over to the third. Child Xantia shakes her head. "You don't make any sense. You never do." The other adult Xantia - let's call her Unscarred Xantia to set her apart - urges, "Stay out of this. I need my memories. You won't talk me out of it."

This prompts Scarred Xantia to also activate her ARM. Hers is damaged however, sparking dangerously, its blade fading in and out. "Then... then I'll use force! Whatever it takes...!"

None of the three Xantias attack immediately, though if left to their own devices, it almost certainly won't be long before one of them does. While the standoff lasts, Unscarred Xantia shouts back to you. "These two won't listen to reason - you said you'd help, right? Then help me beat them!"

What will you do now...? 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Lily doesn't think being present is going to be enough. At least Rosaline's presence doubles what she'd tried to do--when the Etone brings on her healing, Lily inclines her head to her once, a militaristic sort of acknowledgement but one nevertheless. "She wonders, though--Elly's caution... And Fei's statement. They have to understand. Yes, that's what she's learned, as well.

Xantia keeps moving, though. The reply is simple, but it does seem more like her. She's tried before... "All right," Lily says. "We'll see then."

She steps forward--there they are, another room just like this one, and a light--the exit? This may not be as good as it seems though because...

'Barely had my turn'. 'I'm the one who's going to leave.' Calculations flash through Lily's mind as she considers possibilities, discards more, watches the ARMs ignite.

The scarred Xantia gets a sharp look from Lily as she explains. It won't solve everything. ...No, this is going to turn into a fight quickly, and she's sure of that much. "..."

Interesting, it strikes Lily. For just an instant, she looks more curious than concerned, but that passes.

"So is the child the one we saw, in Dazil?" Lily asks, attempting to gain the attention of the three during the standoff. She starts forward, towards them, hands down, rather than throwing the fireballs she's already conjured.

"Hold on. Whichever of you decide to fight--the outcome will be changed, if we interfere. So here's your chance to tell us why we shouldn't."

Lily looks to the Scarred Xantia. "It doesn't make sense to them--But it might to us. Tell us why we can't free Xantia. Why her memories can't be returned."

But the first one of them moves to attack, Lily will throw a blast meant to hit the ground between them, break them apart if only for an instant. This doesn't leave much room for her to defend herself if it goes wrong, though... 

<Pose Tracker> Rosaline Calice has posed.

Rosaline runs, following Xantia with the rest of the group. They head in... the same room? She had been expecting a large wall, or perhaps a lake of flame or a dragon.

The one who walks in is definitely none of these things.

Rosaline watches the two Xantias argue, looking between the two of them with an increasingly despondent air. Xantia expected them to help her fight her younger self? Fight a child? That isn't something Rosaline feels she can do. But wait, there's more! The situation is complicated further by the appearance of a third Xantia, and Rosaline has to bring a hand to her forehead processing this. Leaving? What are they talking about?

Lily's words clear things up in her mind, at least to some extent. But the standoff they see is fragile, and they have so little time. And so...

"Please let me help. Shield of Faith!" She extends both hands forward, and soon both the child and scarred Xantias find themselves bubbled in shields of light, similarly to the way the unscarred one was already shielded by Lily. Rosaline knows full well that Xantia's strength should be enough to break through one of those in time, but they might still prove resilient as she focuses on channeling the spell, palms held forward.

"Please! Don't be hasty, we want to understand," she says, giving Elly a little nod. "Who are you, each one of you? What happens when one of you leaves?"

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Oh boy.

It is clear from Fei's expression that this is going to do a number on him but he seems to be able to largely maintain stability even upon seeing TWO MORE Xantias, one of which is a child (which he's used to) and the other is scarred (which is worrying). "Uh." Fei says. There's so many Xantias. So far it hasn't seemed too mindblowing as far as dives to the center of the mind go, but this is where shit gets confusing even for Fei. What do these Xantias represent? Are they just other ghosts?

"W-wait! Don't fight each other! You're all Xantia, aren't you?"

...They won't work together... There's no point.

Lily makes her guesses as to who is who but Fei's instincts here are far more primal to who Fei is.

What Fei is. He doesn't even realize it. He doesn't even apply it to his own situation but while Fei may be 'fake', his purpose is not fake.

He is a shadow.

He is not the true self.

Even if he doesn't entirely understand what he is, even if he is a construct forced upon the identity that is Fei and thus became a Fei, there is a longing that can't be supressed. This, at least, he understands from Fei.

The boy looks across the way towards the young Xantia, towards the wounded Xantia. He holds Fei's hand but it seems less a gesture of support and more as part of a connected being.

"Why can't you both 'leave'?" Fei asks. "Why can't you work together? You want your memories, don't you? I'm not sure whether or not 'leaving' is a good idea or not, and this isn't a decision we can make for you, but you should make it together. You're all Xantia. How can you even get your memories back if you leave parts of yourself behind?"

"No matter how far you run," the boy says. "You can't escape yourself."

"I mean, I get that we leave parts of ourself behind all the time. That's part of growing up. Sometimes it happens sooner than we'd like, but..." Fei says. "Regrets are also a part of our memories. We shouldn't run from them."

The boy says, "You can't outrun your regrets. The more you run, the more they'll gain on you."

"I'm sorry," Fei says. "If I ever made you feel like you had to be a certain kind of person for me. You've always cared for me no matter which side of myself I showed you."

The boy doesn't say anything for a moment, looking down at the floor.

But there isn't much time. So he mutters, "We are the masks we wear."

And then the boy is gone, going back to moping in Feispace, and it's just Fei. 

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

 
She's been fighting but she's never made it through to the end.

Elly wonders about that.

Then she smiles at Xantia.

The smile becomes a neutral expression at the sight of young Xantia. Childhood --

Then comes the appearance of the Old Xantia, presumably from the future. Elly tightens up for a moment, remembering the vow of that shade of Odoryuk in the Baskar village in Arctica, but no, she's not here. This is Xantia - inside of Xantia, if it's anywhere at all.

She takes a deep breath as the scarred Xantia speaks. They're going to fight, Elly thinks, even as Lily asks a question. About Dazil? Elly glances at her, then Rosaline intervenes and buys them some precious moments. Elly sweeps her hands up through her hair as Fei speaks -

And she wants to hold him again, but, she tells herself, later, there is later. This moment is for someone else important to you, to him, to the world.

Elly takes a deep breath after Fei speaks and an even deeper one before saying, raising her voice,

                        "STOP IT FOR A MOMENT!!"

The words have almost visible form coming out of her mouth.

"Just, all of you," Elly says. "We've come here for you. You're asking us to help you hurt 'yourself,' from our perspective. All of you take turns, if you have to, explain to us what you mean. Maybe it's not going to be a problem at all. If you have a worry, a doubt, something you're afraid will happen, it can loom so hugely, it can make it seem like there's no escape... but sometimes it's just the shadow of a hobgob up on a canyon top."

Elly glances at Fei. "Remember that? How we thought it was so huge?"

Elly looks back to them. "But it was just a normal hobgob. You don't need to feel ashamed, for feeling that way - your feelings are your feelings - but you have to look at the world around you or you won't ever make any progress at all, whoever 'wins' this fight!" 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Unscarred Xantia's response to Fei's initial question is quick and immediate: "Obviously!" She doesn't feel the need to elaborate further on the 'who are you' question. Obviously they're all Xantia. Obviously. Everything about this makes complete logical sense.

But Id is correct: there's no way they're going to work together. Pleas to stop fighting are not about to be heeded. It's only a matter of time before one of them strikes the first blow. Shields appearing around the other two only seems to annoy all three of them, though Unscarred Xantia is the only one who reacts verbally. "Why?! Weren't you on my side? These two... they'd keep my memories from me forever! If I don't fight them, it's the same as giving up on my past!"

Lily's question about whether they saw the child in Dazil is readily responded to by Child Xantia. "Oh, you've definitely seen me there," she confirms happily.

Scarred Xantia seems annoyed by that response, snapping back, "That's not what she means, you idiot!" This seems to surprise Child Xantia, and causes her to fall silent, leaving Scarred Xantia to continue responding to Lily. "Look, it's really simple. They think only one of them can leave. But the fact is, if one of them leaves, we ALL leave. Which means--"

Unscarred Xantia interjects, "It'll be safe if it's me! She doesn't know the first thing about what's really going on!" To which Scarred Xantia shoots back, "You're just as much of an idiot if you think it'll be any different this time!"

Abruptly, the bickering stops. All three Xantias are now looking directly at Fei. No... directly at the other, joined with him. They hear what the boy has to say far more clearly than Fei's words. It visibly sows doubt within the three. Scarred Xantia is the one who starts to reply, "...Even if you say that, I..." Then falls silent once again.

Elly yells out, which startles all three Xantias. They look at each other after Elly finishes speaking, looking confused. Then Scarred Xantia starts to laugh. "I get it... I get it already!" Her weapon, already looking like it was going to do so on its own, fizzles out entirely, and she takes a step back. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it'll be alright this time. Either way... that side is part of me too. If you can accept that... maybe I can learn to do that, too." With that, Scarred Xantia leaves through the door she came in, which vanishes behind her.

Which leaves Child Xantia, and the remaining Adult Xantia. Adult Xantia speaks next, addressing Child Xantia in a soft voice. "...I'm sorry. I feel bad for you. But, you know it has to be me, don't you? Otherwise... it'd be the same as hiding. We'll never be able to make up for what happened that way."

Child Xantia is silent for a moment... then deactivates her weapon, prompting Adult Xantia to follow suit. "...It's not fair," the smaller Xantia laments. "I know," confirms the other Xantia.

Shoulders sagging, Child Xantia turns to exit through the door behind her. She looks over her shoulder before crossing the threshold. "...It's better this way. But, it's still kind of sad. Don't forget about me, okay? I'm still there, even if you don't see me." She takes another step, and the doorway vanishes.

Only one Xantia remains, the one that you followed here. Not looking back at you, she softly speaks, "I'm sorry... I almost made a very bad mistake. My... my others, I understand how they feel. I hope that you understand how I feel, too."

She glances aside, to the left door. The light seems so much closer than before. Her memories are right behind it. Yet, after everything that happened, she looks back to Fei, Lily, Elly, and Rosaline. Wordlessly asking the question: "Should I?" 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Will she have to choose one of them? Lily considers it; she could likely, working in tandem with Rosaline, keep them from destroying one another for a time. She considers how long, based on the power she's seen Xantia bring to bear, at her weakest and strongest, comes up with a time value that is itself merely an estimate. She chooses, in an instant, what she will do if she runs out of that power.

But she doesn't do it. Not yet. Not before the others speak, before all of them... Sometimes more than one them at once... ask, assert. The story Elly gives is familiar; Fei...

"It's not that we're not on your side," Lily says to the unscarred Xantia. "But we need to understand what's happening." Child Xantia confirms that she was there--but Scarred Xantia makes it clear that it isn't just that. She nods, thoughtfully, looking to the Scarred woman ahead. "All right."

A side; a something. Lily looks between the three... then the two.

Lily looks in silence between them. All the way, talking about these feelings, until Xantia looks to them.

Lily finds herself answering before she even realizes she's starting to talk, "Of course."

A pause. "...That is, it's what you've wanted all along. Isn't it? Whatever happens as a result... We can see to it."

Back among their bodies, Lily's unconscious lips curl into a small smile.

The dream Lily nods, as if rethinking and coming to the same conclusion. "We have your back." 

<Pose Tracker> Rosaline Calice has posed.

Rosaline, hands still held up to maintain her spell, looks as the boy appears by Fei's side. So it really is like that, isn't it? He has some insight into this sort of situation. As much as Rosaline could be said to have an other self, and as much as she believed she had come to some sort of understanding with it, that other Rosaline was (is?) also by nature completely opposed to the notion of using her words, what with being a screaming berserker and all.

Not that this is much different, until Fei and Elly intervene.

Rosaline exhales loudly, as the three lay down their weapons and come to an agreement. Rosaline is still a little confused, but at least she can relax, dismissing her shield spell. Her face is a little pale from the exertion. "I think I understand too. It's okay to be angry at yourself sometimes, but not to the point of hurting yourself. That doesn't help anyone." She may not be great at following her own advice, but she's trying.

But this isn't over just yet. There's still the question of Xantia's memories. Rosaline was supportive of this at first, according to Xantia's wishes, but now... she isn't so sure anymore. Memories and knowledge can be very dangerous things, so teaches the Ethos, and so she's seen firsthand a few times now. It's better to live in contented ignorance than to seek and find knowledge and power that could potentially destroy you and everything you love.

And yet, is this really the same thing? How does Rosaline feel about this? The question has been asked several times, and she doesn't think she knows the answer. That's the problem, isn't it? She might have to know what lies behind that door before she makes up her mind.

And so, she strains out an answer.

"It's up to you." She nods in Lily's direction, also glancing in Elly and Fei's. "But whatever you choose, you have our support."

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei has his instincts, but Id lives this every day.

He looks at child-Xantia through Junior's eyes. He did think, once, that he could only understand others through destruction, but in short order he learned something about this kid's companions.

Rosaline had the rage in her, burning ever hot within her. She may not be literally radiating fire but he can still see it lurking within her ready to burst out and burn.

Lily has cynicism. It tempers her kindness into a duality of spells, one path saving others, another path making hard choices.

Ida has the depression of course. She may not be here, but it isn't as if he has forgotten.

And Elly, of course, sweet Elly. She carries the pain better than he ever could. Every whisper is a spark in their spirit, every decision a new fractal reality. The truth is, Id wants to embrace her just as much as Junior, reassure her, treasure every moment...

but he can't.

That is locked away from him. It is too precious, too kind, and the coward that won't face himself will never let him. So he must play pretend, lest he lose what tiny little lights he can seize for his own. That Junior gets to walk in such light is tremendously painful for him, especially because--to Id--he isn't even really Fei.

But they were never really Fei. Only one name had true meaning for them, and it wasn't any of the ones they collected over the years.

So he looks towards the various Xantias. Which sides do they represent? They represent Xantias. The fracture lines are unimportant. That's what makes them ever so frustrating.

It's not fair.

I know. I don't forget.

What did Xantia give Id? She gave her understanding and that's what he offers in turn. Understanding isn't just understanding. Understanding is also the acceptance and embrace of that which you don't understand.

Junior tells him, "Thank you."

And Junior. Junior gets angry with him, he fights with him, but he also shows strange kindness to him. Treats him like he's a person.

And Id realizes that's why he hates him so much. He gives Id what he wants but it doesn't matter, it's just a mirage of that which could be.

Still, Id concedes, it's not always awful to work with him. If they could stumble through this, maybe...

Maybe we can save her.

Fei is asked a question. He smiles at her, "You know the answer already don'tcha?"

Xantia's always seemed to know her own mind before, after all. Just...sometimes she needs to take a moment.

"Hey," Fei adds, a little more quietly to Elly. "Hob gobs can be pretty scary." 

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

 
'Should I?'
It's a hard question.

Elly listens to what the Xantiae say in quiet and peace. The other two left and they are left with the familiar one who they knew, who they came here to find and to save.

The others show themselves too. Lily avows neutrality. Elly wonders about that.

Rosaline speaks with a different kind of neutrality - a pan-acceptance. All choices are valid. Elly smiles at Rosaline but inwardly she wonders too: is that really ultimately alright?

Her eyes turn to Fei. She smiles at his small sharing of memory, and she takes his hand again.

Back to Xantia, to whom Elly speaks.

"I don't have any good answers for you," Elly says. "Sometimes I think the more questions I ask, the more questions I get...and that makes me wonder if asking questions is a good idea at all."

"But you want to know if I understand your feelings... and I think I do."

"I think that a lot of the time, the one who hates us the most is 'ourself'.. but it's because we see ourselves at every moment, every hour, every tiny failing, every doubt and every ugliness. If we could see ourselves the way that other people do, seeing only our words and our actions, and perhaps a little hint of what we choose to share..."

"I suppose it wouldn't solve much," Elly says.

"You were willing to fight yourself," Elly says, "to the point of destruction, rather than face this. I don't know what the secret is, but it may not be as bad as you think. And either way - even if it is something bad - you can't move on until you know. We're all behind you." (Probably, Elly thinks. Maybe Lily a little more distantly, but she knows Lily means well, on a level beyond rationality.)

"I promise I won't forget you." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia chuckles at the responses she receives. It's weird that she would doubt herself now, when she's so close to what she's been searching for all this time. Why would she hesitate now? There's plenty of reasons, actually, as Rosaline understands. But in the end, Lily and Fei have the right of it. What she should do, what she'll ultimately choose to do, is as obvious as the notion of all those present having her back. "...I know you do," she confirms with a nod.

Elly has a bit more insight to offer, which gives her pause. That... may be the cause of what happened just now. Being unable to reconcile with herself, all aspects of herself. But, now, she feels ready. She can't think of anything else to say at this point. Instead... she starts to walk towards the door. Slowly, but purposely. She's doing this.

But before she does, she turns back, to fondly look upon those important to her one last time before she finally accomplishes her ultimate goal. Though this may change much, she knows that it will never change how she feels about the people she's come to care about these past two years. Having gathered her resolve, she faces the door, and steps through...

...only to immediately come flying back out, landing flat on her back.

What happened? That isn't the correct question. It's not a 'what', but a 'who'. Someone else steps out of the doorway, crossing their arms as they proceed to block the way through. A figure who tends to be instantly recognizable to any who've met their acquaintance before. For those present right now especially, as they have seen them not long ago. None other than...

"Grandpa?!"

Xantia is completely stunned. Of course it's surprising to see Jolen Crann here, of all people, at this time. In fact, it should be impossible. Jolen said it himself during the ritual's explanation - he couldn't join them in the Spirit Quest, he needed to keep their minds linked from the outside. So Xantia's following question is no more than logical. "How... why are you here?"

Jolen says nothing in response. He just stands there, wearing a stern expression. A living roadblock, standing between Xantia and her memories. Someone who should not be here, could not be here, but is.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Thus, if it's impossible for the real Jolen to be here, this can't be the real Jolen. It must be a representation of something within Xantia's mind. A representation that's blocking her memories. Which leads to a logical, if dreadful, conclusion. A conclusion which Xantia seems to have arrived at herself, given that she's started shaking, overcome by a mix of anguish and anger when she realizes...

"It was YOU!!"

The last thing anyone sees of the mindscape is Xantia's body bursting into flames. Then everything turns bright white.

~~~~~~~~~~

Having had no sense of the passage of time, there's no way to tell exactly how long it took for you to wake up again. But the first thing that anyone is likely to notice is that the bed in front of them is unoccupied. Xantia is gone.

Jolen Crann is still there, standing where he stood before, beads of sweat on his forehead, and letting out a sigh of relief upon ascertaining that there was no permanent damage done after the connection was forcibly broken. Even so, he is tired and shaken, for once failing to keep his distraught mental state from showing. He is also sporting two fresh burn marks on the collar of his robes, which look an awful lot like hand prints.

"...I know you must have questions," he pre-empts, holding up a hand to halt them before they begin. "However, I believe it should not be myself who answers those questions. Xantia knows the truth now, as best as I know it myself. I leave it up to her in what form she wishes to share it with you. I have no right to bring my opinion into this matter. I have interfered too much as it is."

He pauses, before adding, "Give her time. She will return to you, I'm certain of it. As for myself, I will only say this: I merely did what I thought was best at the time. Whether or not you choose to believe that is up to you." 

<Pose Tracker> Rosaline Calice has posed.

Rosaline is indecisive, it's true, but she knows as well as they all do what Xantia will choose, even if they share similar last-second misgivings. She's fairly sure she would do the same, if placed in a similar situation.

She holds her breath, watching Xantia walk in, and... lets out a faint but audible 'What?!' at the following sight. Xantia's realization and anger are palpable, and...

Fire and light.

Rosaline comes to, not painfully but with some confusion. She blinks several times, giving the others blank stares before remembering where she is and what she was doing. Jolen can likely tell by the sudden shift in her facial expression, turning to one of understandable upset. The looks she gives him may give the impression someone else is going to grab him by the lapels.

That is, until she sees those burn marks, which paint a rather clear picture and cool her own ardors. Rosaline takes a deep breath as the man speaks.

"You wanted to protect her from the knowledge, didn't you?" It's very understandable. It's what the Ethos is all about, isn't it? And Xantia was like a child in many ways then, likely unable to handle the truth. But if so, why is Rosaline still so mad? She feels she should yell at him, if only for lying to them, even though a part of her feels he was correct.

After another deep breath, her answer is a compromise: "You should leave."

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

HAPPY EN--

Fei's eyes widen sharply as Xantia is thrown back and Jolen is standing before the door blocking Xantia's progress. THEY DID THE PERSONA DUNGEON MAN NOT COOL.

Id gets it faster than Fei. He gets it immediately. He even had something of a suspicion. He roars in rage within Fei's mind and Fei grimaces, sinking to one knee as he holds his head. He mutters uncomprehensible words to himself, his voice so low that it is impossible to catch. Whatever the exchange ends with, it ends with Fei's eyes widening in horror and gritting his teeth in rage.

They are promptly shunted out of the mindspace. Fei wakes quietly. His expression is oddly peaceful in the real world even as the Fei in his head seemed pissed off as all heck.

Fei looks towards Jolen Crann, takes a moment to rub at his nose with his wrist which comes away bloody. He stands himself up. His eyes slant briefly towards those handprints as Jolen speaks. The words of the elder man... did Xantia already know on some level? Grandpa Grandpa Grandpa. Yes, 'Grandpa' wanted her to stay in the Baskar Village. He didn't agree with her leaving. And now Fei has an understanding that it wasn't just a matter of typical distrust of outsiders.

Fei walks towards Jolen.

Or is it Fei? There's a faint red tint to his hair growing ever brighter, like two hands on the same controller.

Fei looks Jolen into his eyes. Fargo once said Fei was split between himself, but he has rarely looked as determined as this.

And then he punches Jolen in the face. It's enough force to send him spinning, but--and this is important because it's Fei--even like this he is holding back so as to not cause the old man permanent injury, but it'll hurt. Even Fei pulling punches is still Fei punching.

"I knew you were hiding something. But to think it was this..." Fei(?) says. "There is no crime, no atrocity on Filgaia that justifies what you've done! Even WE don't do that." His eyes flash yellow. "You thought it best at the time." He says it mockingly. "Who gave you the right to twist open a path through her neural pathways to a happy ending? What you have done is no better than what the Emperor does. Perhaps you think you have some idea of the tortures you put her, all of her, through."

He lowers his hand. "But you don't."

The aura dissipitates and Fei steps woozily back, raising his hand to his head again, but judging from the glare he gives--this wasn't at all a solo effort.

"Um," Fei says. "What he said. Sorry." He doesn't want to step on Rosaline's toes here, "Don't you dare run from her." Meaning Xantia.

He looks to Elly. "You um, you okay?" 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

It was you. Of course--Of course it was. Lily's theories, her observations...

The smile on Lily's unconscious face disappears as her eyes snap open, a flash of violet about her as the cups in her hand turn instantly to ash. Lily had watched; she watched how far that went, and sure, she keeps a certain neutrality, and yet--

And yet it makes sense. Her eyes flash, but she does not interrupt Fei--the figure that could be Fei--and instead waits, until he speaks. She waits, until he stops. And then--Then, Lily speaks with certainty, and without mercuy.

"When you found her," Lily says, ignoring the hands up, ignoring his statements, "You didn't simply come across her in the desert, alone. You found her because you were the one who stopped her at the time, just as we did, in Dazil."

She doesn't expect him to answer; she sees the difficulty he has, the burn marks... but she stands, nevertheless.

"You may well have done what you thought was best. I see no reason to believe that you were lying."

She pauses, looks him up and down; already her magic is at work purging the drug from her system as best she's able.

She looks at the man, again. Lily glances to the cloak--the all-important, precious cloak, still here--and back up to Jolen.

"She chose to spare you. And it may be that we require you in order to undo what has done." She steps closer.

For an instant again, her gaze is nothing but scrutiny. It passes, and her hands lower again; a piece of the floor bursts into nothingness, as Lily breathes deeply and slowly. A part of the bedframe cracks. Then, nothing.

"...The Wolves do not forget, Jolen. Remember that." 

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

 
Elly's eyes flicker open as she tries to focus. She can see the empty bed in front of her... but she doesn't smell blood, so her fear is - Oh, there's Fei -

Fei gives an old man a punch.

Elly snaps together. "Fei!!" she cries out, reaching out - and then she focuses up as best she can, recalling what the man said. She stood up before realizing it, and she lowers her own hand, even as Fei comes nearer to her.

"I'm alright," she tells Fei. Actually, her head hurts.

She looks towards Jolen.

"... Thank you for helping us to understand Xantia better," Elly then says, with a sort of careful diplomacy. She bows a little at the waist, not looking away from his face as she does.

"but,"

"I want you to understand something."

"When Xantia reacted in the area near Dazil, she wanted to get control of a modern Gear. I don't understand why, but she was willing to lash out with a level of power that we had trouble dealing with. I don't think it's very arrogant to say that Fei, Lily, Rosaline and I are among the stronger people of our generation... and we still won mostly through luck."

Her eyes stay on Jolen.

"I understand there may be things you don't fully understand. And Xantia made her own decision... As Lily says. But I want you to know that you aren't excused. I respect that you attempted to help. That you succeeded in helping."

"But if even one more person is hurt, or worse, because of the aftermath of what you did..."

Elly trails off. Maybe she doesn't feel a need to finish the sentence. After all, Fei provided the ultimate punchtuation, just now.

("Are you alright?" Elly asks Rosaline.) 

<Pose Tracker> Rosaline Calice has posed.

("Y-Yes," she answers, staring at the cracked bit of bedframe intently.)

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Rosaline asks a question, but Jolen, frustratingly, doesn't answer. He only inclines his head when told to leave. That's what he had been planning to do, and likely would have done, had someone else not objected to this.

By punching him in the face.

Jolen is a big man, a strong man, the kind who can take a solid punch and stay standing. He does not stay standing after that one. Staggering back, he crashes into the far wall, and sinks to the floor. Not out cold, but certainly dazed.

There was no mistaking it though - from looking in Jolen's eyes, it was obvious: he knew that punch was coming, and just let it happen. It was more than he anticipated, certainly, but even the man himself agrees that he deserved that one.

He yet says nothing. No reply for Lily, who almost certainly has correctly determined the sequence of events that led to this. No reply for Elly, who makes perfectly valid points regarding the consequences of his actions.

Somehow, Jolen doesn't look as large anymore as he used to, which has little to do with his seated position. Gone is the muscled giant who seemed appeared vital as a man half his age. All that remains is a tired, frail old man, perfectly aware and remorseful of his trespasses.

But that doesn't make it all okay, does it?

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