2019-04-08: Whose Choice?
- Log: Whose Choice?
- Cast: Auron and Tidus (Tidus played by Bel)
- Where: Luca - Port District
- Date: 2019-04-08
- Summary: After Yuna's party fights through the chaos of Fiends appearing at Luca Stadium, Tidus searches out Auron again.
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
Auron had a feeling that Tidus was going to be upset once he found out that yes, Auron did have connections between the two worlds. So on pretense of just sort of 'off into the sunset like the western heroes do', Auron found a secluded dock that no one was using and no ship had docked at, fully expecting Tidus would follow.
For the time being he waits, expecting the Blitzer to show up at any time now. He waits behind a pile of crates that should hide them from casual observers, just waiting for the inevitable. Kind of like he's done for years, hasn't he? What 'the inevitable' was has changed, but that's what he's been doing for years, hasn't it?
...Hopefully, now that he's in Spira again, he can do something... different.
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
In the sphere pool, Tidus is unpredictable. In /life/, to Auron... Well, not as much, it seems, because that expectation is /entirely/ accurate. The need to help Yuna, notice O'aka, and make sure that none of the people around them are /immediately/ hurt is all that stopped Tidus from launching into his questions and complaints at Auron immediately. ...Still didn't take that long, since there's not actually a lot /he/ can do there.
So there he is, coming past a stack of crates, when he sees red--
"Hey, you!"
Tidus's anger is obvious enough that he doesn't even stop to /breathe/ before rounding on Auron, stepping forward, "Yeah, you! Don't just stand there!" he calls, stopping where he is to shake his hand into a fist, glancing away in frustration as he looks for the words--
"All of this is /your/ fault!"
There they are. He's forceful--but they're alone out here, he's not loud enough to draw others.
"Gettin' swallowed by Sin, ending up here in Spira--Not being able to go back to Zanarkand! Everything! It's YOUR FAULT!"
Huff. Huff.
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
Auron is quiet for a long moment, staring inpassively at Tidus after the outburst. He knows Tidus is just angry, and scared, and upset, and that's what prompts this blurting out of blame and finger-pointing. And he's perfectly within his rights to feel that way. He'll calm down, Auron's fairly certain -- Jecht was the same; relatively quick to lash out verbally when angry, but just as quick to calm. Father and son are more alike than they would either admit...
But then... in the back of his mind, he hears it far differently. The same words, certainly. But applied to a much wider range of faults.
-- All of this --
(If I turn back, who will defeat Sin?)
-- Is your fault! --
(...Make me the Fayth. I'll fight Sin with ya, Braska.)
-- It's YOUR FAULT! --
(Your deaths will mean nothing!)
('...It is.')
He didn't try hard enough. He could have stopped it.
But he couldn't have known then the fate that it would damn Jecht to. He couldn't have known it would doom Braska not only to die, but to die by Jecht's own hand. If he had only known...
('...That's an excuse.')
Looking at the angry look on Tidus's face, Auron feels it all hit home harder than it ever had. After everything that had happened to Braska and Jecht... now Jecht's son is here, and Braska's daughter looks about ready to follow her father's footsteps...
...Right into the maw of Sin.
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
('...Blame me if you have to. Blame me if it makes it easier to take. Blame me... because it's my fault you're here now.')
But he doesn't say that, no. Despite it hammering his mind, heart, and soul as surely as a storm slamming into a coastal village, he says none of it. He can't afford to falter, not even here. Perhaps -especially- not here. He knows what will happen to him if he loses himself to his emotions. But something shakes loose inside him. Tears burn at his remaining eye... and he fights them. How does he fight them?
...With laughter.
Laughter that begins as a chuckle that bubbles up from his chest. The laughter rises, slowly, until it is a full, hearty belly laugh. But it is not a happy sound. No, that is a near-unhinged sound. It's not like it's the cackle of an evil mastermind, so there's that -- Auron hardly PLANNED this, Jecht directed it when he showed up in Zanarkand.
Ultimately, Tidus might get the idea that... Auron's not really laughing specifically -at him-. Whatever he's laughing at, that is not a sound of joy. That laughter sounds hollow and dull...
...Broken.
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
He's done better than most in Spira, for all that he was dropped here with almost no warning. He survived early, long enough to get help... And then to get help /again/. And Spira? Spira is a scary place.
But /Tidus/ isn't thinking of how well he's done in the circumstances. Tidus is mostly in the moment remembering all the feelings he had to set aside to get this far, and remembering them all at /once/, to the one link he still has...
Tidus is waiting for an answer, for /anything/, and what he gets is maybe the one thing that could easily disarm his anger without making it just... linger. Anger's a funny thing, like that. Either way, it's true.
...Tidus watches. The irony in it, maybe--something... human, in this mysterious old man, just enough that his anger drains, and he shakes his head.
It's quiet, for a little while, after that. Tidus walks up, closer, takes up a spot against a nearby crate, too, looks out to the sea... and back to Auron.
No, it's not at him; if it were, that'd be simpler to deal with. Instead, Tidus is forced to come back down to reality... And in reality, he has more questions than accusations right now.
"...Who are you, anyway?" Tidus picks back up the conversation. "You knew my old man. ...You also knew /Yuna's/ father. So..."
"How? Who /are/ you?"
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
He knew Tidus's father? And Yuna's as well? "...Yeah." Easy enough to answer. But then the HARD question comes.
'Who are you?'
Who is he indeed. Of late it's been hard to know the answer to that himself. He knows who he WAS, and a part of that man is still there. Broken and cobbled together with mismatched pieces. But still there.
His story is long and painful. But he tells the story nonetheless. Part of it, anyway. There are things Tidus has to know.
BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pCJbp5dfY0
He turns his back to Tidus as he recounts it, "Jecht, Braska, and I... ten years ago, we defeated Sin. After that I went to Zanarkand, to watch over you..." He pauses, and then turns to look at Tidus again. "...So that I could one day bring you here, to Spira."
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
So, both. It doesn't make any sense to Tidus, who shakes his head. "But that's not... /possible/," he starts. abandoning it as Auron starts to answer the question Tidus doesn't realize is difficult. It should be simple--who are you? Tidus could answer, right?
Auron turns, and Tidus looks over his shoulder, as if maybe whatever Auron's gaze hits will be an answer itself. But it... isn't.
"Ten..." It's not a flash of memory, exactly; everything feels too... slow, /immediate/, for it to be anything that quick. But he thinks it aloud, "Yuna said... ten years ago, that's when /Jecht/..."
Both of them. Why would they /both/ lie? So that leaves--
"But... why?" Tidus asks then. It could easily be a tearful question, like a boy left by his father--but it's something else. Contemplative, like the dregs of an old teacup, still in the bottom waiting for their fortune to be read, unable to move on their own.
"Why did it have to be me?"
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
That question, it seems, is an easy one. "Jecht asked me to." It's true, he did. Though... not in the way that Tidus might think. He watches Tidus's reaction to this bit of information, letting it sink in.
According to Tidus's mother, Jecht had disappeared ten years ago. Auron remembered that much -- the poor woman hadn't been able to even function without Jecht there. Which... truthfully, Auron had never really forgiven her for. She had a -son- by Jecht; the least she could have done would have been to soldier on -- in a perfectly functional and living human body, to note -- at least until the boy had been able to take care of himself.
But no, she just -gave up-, leaving a toddler to take care of himself. Where would Tidus have been if Auron hadn't gone there to Zanarkand to fulfill his promise to Jecht? Would she have even -cared- that she was abandoning her son?
...Anyway.
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
Simple. ...Simple, and /completely/ unhelpful. Tidus stops, and just /stares/ at Auron for a few moments, in open disbelief, or defiance, or /whatever/ it is when you're waiting, knowing that it won't happen, for someone to reveal that they're just messing with you.
That's where it starts, anyway. Then, why? Why would Jecht want him here? Tidus can think of a few bitter, unplesant reasons he could bring in... but he just doesn't /stick/ to them right now.
Naturally... Tidus remembers his mother, too, and things can't be as simple looking back right now as he'd like. But then, if he had the simple life again, Blitzball... could he even go back?
Tidus pushes off of his crate, steps forward, starting to step towards the edge of the dock, angling around Auron if he gets that far, as he asks the next thing he has to.
"...Is he alive? If he asked you to get me..."
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
And Auron remains still, remains quiet, as Tidus mulls these things over in his head. Deep thought was never really Jecht's strong suit. Not that Jecht is stupid... just he's a man of action rather than words or thought. He's hoping Tidus has a little more luck here. Because he's about to give him a lot to think about.
"...That depends entirely on what you mean by 'alive'." Oh great, another cryptic answer. Why does he keep -doing- that? No, here he's going to give more. "He is... no longer who -- or what -- he was. Nothing human remains."
He tilts his head up, as if searching for something in the sky. "But then... I could still feel something of him... there inside that shell. Couldn't you?" And then he turns his head down again, to fix Tidus with a piercing, pinning gaze. "You must have felt it... in Zanarkand, when you came into contact with Sin."
...Well, -that's- a hell of a bomb to drop, innit?
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
Tidus definitely gets caught up in his own thoughts often enough to be in /practice/ thinking things through--and here in Spira, especially... He's had some time. Not always, and sometimes he's had to push it away, but now?
...Well, he doesn't /feel/ like he's getting anywhere, even if really, he is. The cryptic beginning of that response gets an open sigh from a boy who's had plenty of not knowing for one lifetime just this week--but--
"...What...?" It's more answer, but it doesn't make any sense.
Until it does, of course.
""What--" He starts it again, and the shock is obvious in Tidus's eyes since Auron's looking. It's the same kind of shock that comes of being stabbed, and for an instant, all thought of words flies out of his mind.
"It... It can't be," Tidus answers, stunned. "I--That's not possible..."
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
"It is. Sin is Jecht."
Auron's words drop like stones, direct and to the point, the thing he so rarely does in all the time Tidus has known him. This is something that he needs to know, before the pivotal moment. Before it comes time to face whatever fate chosen. Tidus can't afford to falter upon finding out. So it comes out -now-, to give him plenty of time to deal with it.
And also because... well, if Jecht is in there, its technically Jecht that's destroying the world. Auron is hoping that Tidus can't leave it like that, knowing his father is partly responsible for the death that envelopes this world, without trying to fix it. Tidus could be the key... but only if he decides to do anything about it.
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
Tidus /asked/, silently and aloud, for answers. Of all the times he has actually gotten what he wanted, this is not at the top of his list. Still, he tries to wrap his mind around such an /obviously/ impossible concept that nevertheless can't quite be easily pushed away.
"No--" He's not quite as totally stunned anymore. There's no blade hanging over him while he hesitates and thinks and stares. None but the truth itself, anyway.
"No!" Tidus shouts, taking a step back. "That's--that's ridiculous! There's no way that could even be /possible!/ I don't believe you!"
His words say it; his shock says it. The way he throws his arm to the side, the way his muscles tense as he stands, they all say it.
...But his eyes know better, and /that/ he doesn't want to say at all.
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
Auron does have sympathy for Tidus's situation. But it's not something he can afford to show. He has to be a hardass here... to administer the bitter medicine of the hard truth that no one wants to acknowledge. With Tidus -- someone not so ingrained in the spiral of death gripping this world, someone to whom sacrifices to Sin weren't 'just something that has to be done', someone who still has an open mind -- he can push through with the hard truth, smack the Blitzer in the face with it, and not have Tidus completely reject it.
"Whether you believe it or not... it -is- the truth," Auron reiterates. And he knows that Tidus believes. He can see it in Tidus's eyes, the truth that his heart believes even if his mind can't process it yet. His voice is softer then, a little more sympathetic, as he makes his pitch. "Come with me then... and see for yourself."
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
The sharp knife cuts cleanest. Basic knowledge, for a swordsman... and apt, here. Given little to hang onto to refute this idea other than the certainty that it shouldn't be possible, Tidus keeps staring through, waiting for that craggy expression to become something more /reasonable/, and... then no longer waiting, because it won't happen.
No, his /voice/ is what does it, and there's not even something to shout at it that moment.
"And if I say no?" He asks, but it's without venom this time, a distant, small thing thrown away on the journey somewhere larger.
He tries to think it, tries to find it, and then, fingers closing into fists again, just--
"Rrrggggggggggah!" Frustration comes out worldless, and his hands open, shifting as he talks, flowing around like he feels like he's been /turned/ around in circles.
"What am I supposed to say!? You say see for myself--but if I don't go with you, there's nobody /else/ who can tell me what's going on! I'm not going to /see/ if I just stay by myself, I /have/ to go with you! I don't have a choice!"
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
A thread of something like fear enters Auron's Unsent heart at those first words -- 'and if I say no?'. He doesn't let it show... but he does frown. The threads of a still-coming-together plan abruptly start to restructure themselves in his mind, to compensate for the possible lack of Tidus. Will he be able to pull it off if Tidus isn't there? How much of her father's daughter is Yuna, really? Will the desire to not place a burden on someone else's shoulders be strong enough to make it work?
But he can't let it show. He can't let anyone know the plans that are coming together in his mind, a hastily strung-together plan for revenge that might not even work. It's not just personal revenge... though that's a big part of it. He wants revenge against the system. How better to take revenge on a whole system than to -BREAK- it utterly?
"...I'm sorry you feel that way," he allows, enough to note that... yes, he does want Tidus along. He turns a bit, as if to leave. And then the outburst. He pauses, remains in place, with his back turned to Tidus, as the young man vents the frustration. But it's enough to know that he at least -wants- to know what's going on. Auron sighs a bit, quietly, in relief.
"...I know. Aggravating, isn't it?"
Oh he knows well the frustration of only having one clear path, and that path being anything but what he wants to happen. "...Or is it that you are afraid to -see- the truth with your own eyes?" Surprisingly... he isn't taunting Tidus with this, trying to push him into action by provoking him. It's an honest question. He understands the feeling -- honestly... he's afraid too. So many things can go wrong. So many ways this can fail. What if he can't do it? What if the cycle continues nonetheless, despite his efforts?
What if he fails -again-?
Auron realizes the distress Tidus is under. And so he steps closer to Tidus... and places a hand on his shoulder. "...It's all right," he says quietly. "You -do- have a choice... even if you don't feel like you do. Every story must have an ending. But it would be easy to just abandon this one. Leave it unfinished. That you -feel- you have no choice but to see it through... that says a lot."
Jecht was much the same, he recalls. How many times did he see the three of them waylaid to help someone 'because it was the right thing to do'? Hopefully that strong sense of justice exists in Tidus as well. But, well... the last thing Tidus wants to hear right now, Auron figures, is yet -another- comparison between himself and the 'old man' that he seems to hate so much. No matter how much it holds true.
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
In the end... It doesn't /really/ even stick with Tidus for a moment that he'll just give up and do nothing. Maybe, some people would try to make the best of it, at least find a path that wasn't directly into the worst danger known...
But that's not what happens. Tidus has no idea about that moment of fear. To him, that basic statement--sorry he feels that way--is kind of a brick wall itself. Avoiding the answers isn't going to solve his problems. Tidus vents--And again, he's surprised.
'Aggravating, isn't it?'
"..." The unspoken answer is affirmative, Tidus's face saying it well enough as he nods shallowly, and then watches Auron's face--shades and all--through that question. If he detected even a /hint/ of mockery thee, even a hint of something his father might've said, he'd argue. As it stands?
Tidus sighs, his shoulders drooping. Yes, no--both? It's a lot on his shoulders, in this moment. The implications are something he's barely thought out.
"More stories, huh?" Tidus asks, though it's not /really/ a question. He wants to say he doesn't care, but maybe...
"I guess," the ace answers. "...But, it's better than hanging around here."
He's still kind of glum--it's /heavy/--but at least, there's his choice made. "...Hey..."
The gesture, from Auron, means a lot--enough that Tidus is willing to let himself ask again, someone he's relied on for a long time. "Auron?" he asks. "...Will I ever go home? Back, to Zanarkand?"
<Pose Tracker> Auron has posed.
No, there's no mockery there in Auron's expression. There isn't much of anything, really. But then, that sympathy... that's still there, if nothing else. So he's not completely unreadable. Auron knows this whole situation is just the worst. And it's going to get even worse before it's all said and done. Hopefully Tidus can stick with it. Hopefully Yuna can.
...And Auron hates how he's going to have to rely on everyone else to fix problems he believes he should have fixed the first time. How he's going to have to place Yuna and Tidus in danger when he'd rather just pick them up and run for the hills.
('We all must play our roles, I suppose...')
Tidus's question draws... silence from Auron for a moment. He... really doesn't know. -He- got there ten years ago... but that was a unique situation. On the other hand Tidus, very much alive, was brought here. But that was also a unique situation. Sin really is the only one with the capability to cross over freely...
And Auron realizes that, for the short-term at least, it could be a way to focus Tidus on the goal. Perhaps if he does believe that Sin can send him back to Zanarkand -- that -Jecht- could send him back -- Tidus would be more likely to agree. And so, he notes, "...That... would be entirely up to Jecht." And then he does start to walk back.
After a few steps, he stops and turns to look at Tidus over his shoulder. "I intend to offer my services as guardian to Yuna. If you want to find out the truth, to find out what really happened to Jecht, come with me." Here he pauses, and there's a trcae of amusement there. "...You might be able to give him a piece of your mind, now that you're old enough."
<Pose Tracker> Lulu has posed.
Sympathy. Is that /really/ something to turn away, in a place like Spira? Even if it does come with cryptic answers. Tidus can read /just/ enough--just enough, that this man he's known most of his life...
Well, Tidus has made his choice, and asked one more question for now. At least he doesn't imagine it will be /easy/, but he really has no idea what's coming. That much would be hard to miss, however much he /thinks/ he knows. But eventually...
"...Yeah," Tidus answers Auron this time. Up to Jecht. Sin brought him here; Sin would be the way to get back. That's naturally how it would be, isn't it? As Auron starts to walk off, Tidus at first stays where he is, rooted more by inertia than by an intention not to go. But he looks up. The truth--
"...Yeah," Tidus says again, this time with more feeling. "Maybe I'll have a thing or two to say to him, when we catch up."
Tired, weighed-down, but not defeated, Tidus takes the next step--and trudges along behind Auron after all.