2019-04-15: Hard Losses and Hard Truths

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==============================<* Mi'ihen Highroad *>==============================

Many years ago, a man named Lord Mi'ihen, commander of a mercenary group known as the Crimson Blades, was summoned by the Grand Measter to Bevelle to answer the challenge that his group was a threat to Yevon. Though his followers suspected he would be executed and begged to follow, Mi'ihen ordered them to stay behind and walked along an old path to Bevelle, without stopping to rest. 

Moved by the display of piety, the Grand Maester formally adopted Mi'ihen and his soldiers into Yevon as a defensive force, known now as the Crusaders. In recognition of the momentous moment, the path Mi'ihen walked now bears his name.

...except not really, because the original one was wrecked by Sin a few hundred years ago. You can still see bits of it as you pass along the Highroad, on which the Djose Temple can also be found.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8tfe_H7bzw
<Pose Tracker> Catenna has posed.

Catenna can't help but feel like events since Elluria haven't been good for the Kinship.

The way Jacqueline has comported herself in the past few days has concerned her in no small degree. The way Lunata laid out her belongings confirmed why, at least at a very surface level - the 'what' is known to her, but not the 'why.' Catenna had regarded the dead girl's cast-off belongings for a moment before closing her eyes and breathing a simple sigh.

    What did Death do to that girl?

It didn't take her long to accept what had happened. But then, Jay knew the girl longer.

It's why there is a soft footfall somewhere close to the leader of the Caravan Kinship, presumably at a space outside the CaraKin itself - one outdoors. "Jay?"

The Moon Shaman approaches with her usual calm, quiet pace and demeanor, carrying a cup of tea on a small platter. The subtle scent of lemon wafts from the cup, mingling with some curious spice mix that she's used before but not all that often. A couple small wafers sit on the edge of the cup tray.

"Please allow yourself to sit down and rest," she advises with a dip of her head. "Working yourself into a ball of stress won't bring you any peace."

From Catenna's shoulder, Saarda-Shanta gives the alchemist a steady look, seeming to peer into her keenly. 

<Pose Tracker> Kourin has posed.

Kourin is not good at saying comforting things. But she is also not good at not being there for her friends in need. So, she is here, because she's showing silently that she's worried.

Spirit is here, too, of course. He is a Good Boy, and he is also worried. Because Good Boys can tell. 

<Pose Tracker> Arleph Ardan has posed.

 It is rather worrying of a development. The betrayal of a month ago and now someone else leaving like this. Last time, Jay did stay isolated for a few days as well. This is a different sort of isolation.
 
 The Symbologist approaches from somewhere else the Caravan, the repair having taken some out of him. He didn't really spend much time to take heed in the first days of Jay's fevered condition, but the new letter and Catenna's remarks do seems to have some weight behind them.
 
 Still, for now, Arleph remains near-by, looking over and pushing himself to his feet. He let Catenna handle it for the moment. Best not to crowd right now. 

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Seeing Lunata's belongings laid out like that and her nametag erased from her door, if anything, made everything even worse for Jacqueline.

It was like a confirmation of everything she had feared, another knife jabbed into her heart. And so, she did what she always did - tried to bury herself in her work. From the acrid smoke rising from her workstation set up outdoors, it isn't going well.

The scent of lemon, subtle through it is, cuts through the smoke. Jacqueline pauses.

"I-I'm okay...really. I'm sorry for worrying you..." She asserts, looking back toward Catenna and forcing a smile.

She is not okay. No one is buying this. 

<Pose Tracker> Ethius Hesiod has posed.

    Ethius has mostly done his expected behaviors (once Prissa took hold of their situation and ensured they were anchored at somewhere as inconspicuous as possible for their circumstances and possessions alike), which is to say he's been busy trying to survey the traffic of Mi'ihen for... well, maybe he just likes staring at people and that is how he is coping with an emotionally rough time.
     He is fairly out of touch with some of the present CaraKin items of interest, as he has only been going to and from the giant horseless wagon with the briefest periods of interaction with the rest. It is not common for him to keep such little tabs.
     There isn't usually a set time for Ethius' coming or going, but it might say a lot that he is lingering more than the average five minute check-in as he stands dressed as a technically-correct-but-way-out-of-freaking-place Al Bhed Psyches fan, standing a ways off from Catenna's eight o'clock position. 

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

What did Death do to that girl?

Good question. Luckily, someone is coming by who might have an answer for you.

Marivel, shrouded as she often is, approaches the Caravan at a patient pace that is pretty typical of her. Honestly, it might seem like she's dropping by to buy bottles for the blood she saves to drink, or potions, or other associated materials. And indeed, maybe that is her initial reason for coming but she sees a gathering outside of the Caravan and quirks her head to the left before continuing her approach, barely a hesitation at all.

"So it seems you have become aware of her aims, have you not?" Marivel asks, stopping at a conversational distance between her and the rest of the Caravan. She looks towards Spirit of all things and grins, showing off her fangs.

"Well," Marivel says. "That's a good dog isn't he? Always wonderful to see good boys."

The smile fades back when her gaze settles on Catenna.

Her gaze then shifts towads Saarda-Shanta, whom she dips her head respectfully to, before glancing back to Jay.

"Do you wish to help her, even if it means sorrow for yourself? Even if it means joy?" 

<Pose Tracker> Catenna has posed.

The smoke registers on Catenna. How could it not? She crinkles her nose a little but tries not to mention it. Instead she steps forward and sets the teacup down on the edge of Jacqueline's workstation. She's aware that others are beginning to gather, but she doesn't say anything yet - Jay's the one who has to speak.

The alchemist forces that smile. Catenna meets it with a slight cant of her head.

Then she steps forward. It is very sudden for her. She snaps her hands up to Jay's shoulders.

She pulls the alchemist in, wraps her arms around her and gives her a big, tight, firm hug. With a slender hand she pats Jay on the back of the neck as she downright pulls her in.

Catenna doesn't say anything. She just hugs Jay tightly for as long as the alchemist will let her, rocking ever so slightly as if to coax her to let the emotion out.

That's about when Marivel makes her presence felt. Looking towards the woman past Jay's head, Catenna lowers her eyelids just slightly.

"Are you asking sincerely or are you just here to taunt us," she asks acidly. 

<Pose Tracker> Arleph Ardan has posed.

 "You don't really sound 'okay', if I am being perfectly honest." Arleph lets out, dusting his pants off as he stands giving the newcomer a brief look and a tilt of his head. Ethius admist all that arrived but that man is like a mirage. Even if you see him at the corner of your eyes, your vision just kinda unfocus away from him if there's something more interesting and immediate going on at that precise moment.
 
 His eyes focuses on her Fangs, his brows furrowing a moment, then back at her. "And... you are?" 

<Pose Tracker> Ethius Hesiod has posed.

    The strange man's head turns at Marivel's arrival, but otherwise says little at the intrusion. In better times, Ethius is usually a lot more on point when it comes to interposing himself between mysterious unexplainable people and the CaraKin. He doesn't seem inclined to put himself in between.
     "She is of Filgaia," he remarks to Arleph, as though this were an appropriate greeting unto itself.
     "...Do you speak of Miss Jay, then?" The quiet and now, one can append, woefully-out-of-touch man asks of their new visitor. 

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

"I-It's..." Jacqueline starts, then slumps in defeat. Arleph's right...she knows she isn't fooling anyway. It's obvious, and even if it weren't...they would've been able to figure it out the moment Lunata's things were put out.

Jacqueline doesn't realise what's happening until it happens. Catenna wordlessly pulls her into a tight hug. Jacqueline doesn't fight it. If anything, she just...goes limp, shutting her eyes. Catenna can feel her shaking.

But before Jacqueline can let anything out...there's a voice. Jacqueline opens her eyes and looks back, to where Marivel has approached.

"I-It's..." Jacqueline pauses, her voice sounding a little strained.

"I-it's okay." Jacqueline she tries again, trying to smooth things between the rest of them and Marivel. "I know her."

She looks at Marivel herself.

"I-I don't know what I can do..." She whispers in response, shaking her head. 

<Pose Tracker> Kourin has posed.

Kourin eyes the newcomer, not familiar with her but noticing Catenna's reaction. Her hand falls to the hilt of her sword, but she doesn't move to draw it or anything.

Spirit barks once.

"Miss Jacqueline. You have always been the strong pillar I needed, since I met you. I am not...good at expressing myself, as you know. But I know you are strong. And I know when others are in pain. I...have felt too much myself. Please do not push us away."

She lets her hand drop as Jacqueline vouches for Marivel, no longer resting it on her sword hilt. 

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"What would you say if I were taunting you?" Marivel asks as has become her habit. "Perhaps a little taunting is in order if it were to change this miserable tableau." For it moment it looks like she's considering it, but she shakes her head instead and says, "No shaman of Celesdue. I can plainly see there is no need for tonguelashing here. Out of respect for your pain I shall endure yours."

She nods once to Ethius. "A perfect introduction." She seems pleased despite ... the Ethiusness of it. "That's correct. I am of Filgaia."

She turns to Jacqueline for a moment afterwards, focusing on her--apparently treating Ethius's answer about who she is suffice for Arleph. Not that...there aren't people here who know one alias or even her name.

"Then perhaps I can help you find a path. Or at least, get you thinking." Marivel says. "For it is not I who can save Lunata, and perhaps even you cannot save Lunata but I am inclined to at the very least give you the best weapons available for saving her."

"Nothing is more frustrating and distressing than a world weary teenager."

She straightens up. "Lunata seeks to free Ge Ramda from her chains. She wishes to walk with Ge Ramda into the sun. This is an expression of my people which means to choose the hour of your death. True death. She knows not how she is going to accomplish this, but this is her goal."

She doesn't seem offended by the distrust. Odds are with how she acts, she's quite accustomed to it.

"I had tried to dissuade her from this course, of course... but who am I but a stranger to her?" She looks to Jay. "And who are you, but a 'hero' to which she compares herself to. Tis you--no, not you--tis the mirage she sees of you when she looks into your blindning light that is driving her to such despair. She sees her story as ended, being left behind by those she cares far more deeply for than she does for me. Sometimes--" She looks to Catenna. "--Being a stranger is a boon."

She looks back to Jay. "You have three paths before you, do you not? A path in which you do nothing which is terribly dull and I do not suggest it, a path in which you help her find her rest out of your love for her, granting a gift she so desperately craves..."

She extends a finger towards Jay. "Or you can drag her kicking and screaming from this path because you crave her presence in your lives more than her peace."

Her hand drops back to her side. "And perhaps, through some method known only to you...you can encourage her to happily embrace that third option after all, but that...is a rare chance and you must be prepared to change your methods, your way of thinking--if you are to make that happen. To think beyond what you were thinking before, to do beyond what you were doing before, for such despair as this does not come quickly. It comes from a pain you cannot escape."

She then turns to Catenna once more.

"Ge Ramda was a shaman once, not unlike you. For striving as hard as she had, she was given this 'reward'." She shakes her had. "I doubt tis a Guardian's doing to place so much in one girl. More likely tis her own inconsolable regret. But--"

She exhales. "...Well, there is naught more than this. You have time, for she knows not yet how to walk into the sun, but you are unluckily in Spira, a land more closely aligned with the dead than any I have seen before except perhaps Rujm-il Hara itself. So if there is a method here she can uncover, she will no doubt find it." 

<Pose Tracker> Kourin has posed.

Is Kourin...crying?

She is. Icy tears trickle down her cheeks. She makes no sound. 

<Pose Tracker> Catenna has posed.

Catenna keeps her arms wrapped tightly around Jacqueline, one hand slowly moving to stroke her upper back as if to try and coax feelings out into the open. "It will be alright, Jay," she murmurs, rocking the alchemist in her arms like a mother comforting a child after some calamitous encounter. "Everything will be alright. We are all here for you."

There's still tension in the way she holds herself, though, and the look she gives to Marivel is flat and not all that friendly. "If you were taunting us I would say that it was time for you to leave," she says, her tone chilly - but when the tiny woman changes her tune, Catenna's eyes relax just slightly, a few of the subtle lines at the outer corners fading away.

The Moon Shaman lets out a slow breath through her nose. "...I had thought it was something like that," she says, her voice quiet.

<The Guardian of Death is one who asks much from those who walk his path. The sacrifices most Shamans make are comprehensible. To pact with Death, however, is to understand the most basic fear of all finite things,> Saarda-Shanta adds with a cock of her head, fluttering her wings and hopping up to perch on Jay's shoulder - but her eyes are on Marivel. <I had wondered, somewhat, the nature of what had happened to Lunata. The wielders of a Stone Medium would not be asked to surrender nearly as much as she has.>

Catenna presses her lips together, then gives Jay another squeeze before releasing her gaze slightly. "...I understand why she would seek the path she seeks," she says quietly. "She believes that this is the right path.

"Just as I believed it was the right path when I turned my back on Piedras Blancas and the Zortroa Kinship." 

<Pose Tracker> Arleph Ardan has posed.

 Arleph's eyes darts to Ethius, taking in his comments with a nod. Ethius has no reasons to lie at all. Plus, she certainly seems to be talking with some assurance that's very different than the natives of Lunar. "Right."
 
 His attention is diverted away from Marivel's explanations, a sad smile creeping up on his face. Well. At least, the crying's starting. That's a good start. "Yes. We are here, and that do bring some insight on what's happening."
 
 The Symbologist shoves his hands into his pockets, leaning against the Caravan as he stares at the stranger, nodding once. He snatch his hat off his head, letting lay lip by his side. "So she seeks to free herself into a final death, then. Hmn. This do brings things into some perspective..."
 
 He twists a look at Saarda-Shanta, tilting his head. One of his hand unconciously reach to one of his pocket, tapping it once. He do have a Medium, as well, but he can hardly call himself a Shaman. He only had a deal with Grudiev.
 
 "Of coruse she does. Frankly, I am not quite knowledgable about this to affirm if it is. Spirits are hardly my realm of expertise... You seem to know much about that yourself. You mentioned 'your people.' What makes you speak with such certainty?" 

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Mm." Marivel considers Catenna's words. "Well, I suppose if you politely ask me to leave, I would have to. I am of Filgaia, after all, not Lunar." She acts as if she'd be compelled to rather than it being some manner of honor code she follows, but it may be a bit of both.

But that's a hypothetical reality. In this world, Marivel continues. "Lunata agreed to this fate. She may have done so without reading the contract, but it is signed in blood." Marivel says. "The Guardians can change their mind though it is rare. If you," She looks towards Saarda. "--believe it is their doing. A simple pilgrimage may suffice if it is so. Our people too were beholden to the Guardians, just as the Elw were... though clearly--" she smiles. "--Our own pact to Filgaia was different."

She then continues, "Rujm el-Hiri was once a city. They were a city that ever craved the gifts of my people, as humans so often do with their capacity to be endlessly foolish and arrogant." She's one to talk with that last one at least, but she doesn't make a self-effacing comment. "Ge Ramda tried to save that city so there may be something to find there that can help you as well."

She looks to Arleph. "Because I am a Crimson Noble. My people too walked into the sun and they are as dead as dead can be because of it. I am the last. But that's not important to you."

She shakes her head. "Well it is important to you in one aspect but I do not wish to delve into it just yet." 

<Pose Tracker> Ethius Hesiod has posed.

    As the one Ethius introduces as 'of Filgaia' starts to speak at length about the plights of Lunata Croze to her dearest friend - and by proxy other dear friends - the odd man stands about unobtrusively (despite his very existence being perhaps the embodiment of this idea's exact opposite). Somewhere in all of this, he makes way to the vehicle proper with a measure of haste that's a match for the fervent pace in which the man would fetch a simple runaway CaraKin wheel.
     He'll be a minute or two. 

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

In any other situation, Jacqueline might've let it all out. But not out here, not out in the open, and especially not with Marivel here, saying the things she's saying.

It's a lot to take in. She's already overwhelmed, and she's not sure if she's ready to hear and process all of this just yet. But when would she be ready?

"I-I...I don't know. I-I...I just want her to be happy...but, I...I never wanted this." She whispers. She pulls herself away from Catenna, offering her a thankful nod, and lowers herself to the ground, where she sits down and shakes her head.

"I-It's...it's my fault." She whispers. "She...she told me. Before she left. How...how she felt. I...I never noticed it. All this time, and I never noticed it... I didn't realize how much I was hurting her..."

And then Marivel says something. Jacqueline is startled for a moment and then she reaches up, using her worktable to support herself as she brings herself to her feet again.

"Th-that's...that's not right." Jacqueline whispers, shaking her head. "Th-that's not right. She didn't have a choice...not a real one."

Her legs are shaking, but they're a little more stable now. She's a little incensed in Marivel's direction, but not at Marivel herself.

"...Her mother was dying. What else could she have done...? I-It's...it's all rotten. The whole thing..." She mutters. 

<Pose Tracker> Catenna has posed.

Catenna purses her lips, watching Marivel from over Jay's shoulder. "I have not yet asked you to do so. But I am not the sort of person who takes options off the table."

From atop Jay's shoulder, Saarda-Shanta tilts her head a full 90 degrees to the right. Her huge yellow eyes close for a second before reopening and focusing again on the Crimson Noble. <The nature of my relationship to things is... rather different than yours.> The tiny avian's winglets come up in the semblance of a shrug. <But Lunata's pact did seem significantly less deliberate than what most who follow the road of Death take. But no less binding.>

When Jacqueline pulls back, Catenna lets her go, a small, sad smile tugging at her lips - but it fades when the alchemist begins to blame herself.

"It was not your fault," she says with a slow shake of her head. "Lunata was put into an impossible position and now she is looking for a path out of it. Nothing we could have done here could have solved things for her."

She frowns quietly, looking off into the distance as she turns a thought over in her head. "...Death seems to function differently in Spira than it does anywhere else in existence. Perhaps that is what Lunata is thinking...." 

<Pose Tracker> Arleph Ardan has posed.

 Another ancient species that lived on this planet, it seems. "I'm afraid I am not too familiar with your people either but this can certainly wait... But I am sorry to hear what has befallen your own." Arleph counters, nodding once to look at Jay speaking. This is breaking his heart, this was a lot deeper than he imagined this being.
 
 As Catenna handles Jay, he stands for a moment to walk over to Kourin, laying a soft comforting hand on her shoulder of the crying girl. "So it seems. Death seems abundant here at a first glance... not to mention the Farplane being a place."
 
 He stops, returning to look at Jay for another moment, before looking upward. "...So it was a baragain, then. For her soul, I'm presuming. Yes?" 

<Pose Tracker> Kourin has posed.

Kourin closes her eyes, grateful for Arleph's comfort.

"It is...not fair. She was among the first to welcome me. To treat me as...friend..."

Oh boy that's got the waterworks breaking. 

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

It's hard to articulate it. Catenna says she's not at fault, but...Jacqueline isn't sure that's technically true. She shakes her head, quietly.

"...Her situation isn't, but...everything that happened, happened because she wanted to follow me. ...And then she reached a point where she couldn't anymore." She whispers. "She...she thinks I'm 'strong', or a hero...but I'm not."

She shakes her head.

"...Marivel put it best. She was chasing after the 'me' she envisioned, but...it hurt too much." Jacqueline hesitates for a moment. "...I never thought of it as leaving her behind... In my mind, she was always right there with me, and because of that...I was able to keep moving forward."

Jacqueline hesitates, inhaling deeply.

"I can only do what I do, support everyone...because I have everyone around me, supporting me, like you're doing right now. If I lost you all...that'd be it." She sighs. "...I-I don't know what I feel right now. Everything's all...muddled, and it all hurts too much right now." 


<Pose Tracker> Catenna has posed.

"So it would seem," Catenna murmurs with a quiet nod for Arleph. "Perhaps more accurately, a bargain for her life."

With Kourin beginning to break down too, it seems Catenna is virtually the only one in the conversation not in tears, save Marivel. The Moon Shaman lowers her head and lets her breath out in a slow, pensive rush. It centers her. Even with tears gushing out around her, she remains a rock of calm in the midst of it all.

When Jacqueline begins to go on again, Catenna shakes her head and clears her throat. "You were being yourself," she says with a small smile. "Who could fault you for being Jacqueline Barber?"

She holds her hand out; Saarda-Shanta hops down to perch on her finger. "Even if you had realized perfectly what had happened to Lunata the moment it occurred - even if you had dimmed your inner light and reduced your expectations so much that she would never see you as anything but Jacqueline the Disappointment - even that could not have changed the heart of the problem," she points out. "One way or another, Lunata would have had to find a way to go forward, even with what happened to her. She would have had to feel such things even if her traveling companions had been Janus Cascade and Zed, and neither of them would have been able to turn back the clock on the sacrifice she made, either. Making a sacrifice is not easy. You have to accept the consequences. Even those Zortroa who give up their humanity go into it with their eyes open."

The Moon Shaman exhales. "It is worse for her because she did not know what the nature of the sacrifice would be, nor did she make the sacrifice feeling she had a choice. That is why I think I can understand why she made this decision."

Catenna flicks a lock of hair away from her cheek with one hand. "...If she feels that she wishes to die, I can pity her, and perhaps even hope that she finds a way forward that is not so final. But I can understand her. The call is hard enough when you want to hear it and it wants to be heard." 

<Pose Tracker> Ethius Hesiod has posed.

    Ethius was there at the peripheral edges of that day. That day where Lunata's course in life changed forever more, when the Metal Demons attacked that Dig site. Surely, he must be holding the same concern for her overall well being - that he should share the same sadness, reflecting upon an unfair fate thrust upon them from circumstances beyond their control.
     "Where is she?" Comes that man's voice, walking back into that social climate of sorrow and reassurance about the circumstances of a dear friend. The level of detachment this man must have, even having been right where the pact happened... with that mask on his face, there's no telling what's going through him. (When has there ever, though?) 

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

Lunata's departure was... Not something that the Carakin needed right this very minute. Adrift again in a foreign land, not long after Matilda revealed her true colors in the most traumatic way possible, they now had to deal with... This.

For someone so connected to the both of them, the sudden departure of not one but two friends under such awful circumstances must be heartbreaking. Almost like the kinship that had brought them all so far is slowly coming apart at the seams, but...

"She's right, you know," Cyre says, unfolding from a hatch that leads up onto the Carakin's rooftop. He looks like he's been... Doing a lot of hard thinking. Hard, windswept thinking. He may not be using it to run away from his problems anymore, but soaring even in unfamiliar skies is a meditative experience like none other for the Wind Priest. "...The problem with being human is that it's so hard to really know for sure what someone else is going through," he says, settling down at Catenna's side. "We're all limited only to our own experiences, our own worlds and perceptions. So when something like this happens, it can take us by surprise. This isn't your fault, Jay. Lunata... Her mind and her decisions are her own, but... When she first started acting... out of the ordinary, I thought it was just a phase-- but I think I can understand how she feels too, a little bit."

"I can understand what it means to want freedom so badly that you're willing to throw everything away."

"...I just wish she didn't have to leave us all in tears when she did. But never, ever let this make you think twice about being the best person you can possibly be," Cyre murmurs, gently squeezing at Jacqueline's shoulder, "You might not be a hero, but you are a good person, and this world can't afford to lose any more of those." 

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel frowns faintly when she hears some of the responses. "Mayhaps a tongue lashing is in order then."

"Not a real choice? Whatever do you mean? She could have certainly watched her mother die. Many have in the past and many yet will still. I thought you people were merchants." Marivel's eyes narrow. "A life for a life, Jacqueline Barber. You will scarcely find a fairer deal on Filgaia." She glances to Kourin for a moment then back to Jacqueline. "You act as if her unhappiness at the incredible bargain she was given is the fault of the Guardians, the fault of poor planning but Filgaia has been as fair as the day it was born. You have the greatest gift of all and you act as if tis a burden you never asked for, yet you did ask for it, your ancestors asked for it, and their ancestors asked for it and now that you have it, you balk at your inheritance, you cast it away like a child seeing a puppy's first piddle. Filgaia is life. Filgaia is death. Filgaia is harsh. Filgaia is fair. The Elw are not here to save you, the Crimson Nobles will not protect you. I have two hands, two feet, and an organization of well armed individuals. Tis enough to save Filgaia, perhaps, but we have no intention of being greedy."

"Nobody," Marivel shakes her head. "Nobody asks for this. Nobody. Not I, nor your past heroes. They did not ask for this. It was not fair. But you need not look far to see much that is 'not right'. Tis not the Guardians that made Filgaia this way. Tis you, humans, more than any other people who have squandered away your inheritance. The Elw stumble once, the Hyadeans stumble thrice, how often has humanity managed to burn this world and still carry the Guardians' favor? Do you think we could cast the very Guardians themselves at our enemies to obliterate them so utterly tis like having God in your hand?"

"Unfair is watching your world dying before your very eyes, knowing that it will never be your world again. Unfair is never having the opportunity to trade a life...for a life. and yet tis still very fair, my friends, for now you see the sands of life fading from your world--now you, so many of you, know and recognize that you must save away for the future."

She gestures with one hand. "And if a Guardian asks much of you, it is because much is neccessary. Even now, many of your people seek to reignite war. Even now, your people still yet war. You carry the burden of your people, each and every one of you, and there is little else that is more right."

She is crying on the inside, Catenna, for a Crimson Noble shows no weakness... even when they are feeling very weak indeed.

"You are merchants." Marivel says. "Renegotiate the contract. Do humans still use contracts?" She turns as if to leave, but she does not actually leave. She just looks down for a long moment. "Ana never saw herself as a hero either. But they still see her as a hero to this very day." Marivel says. "Every day humans erase her and build up monuments to a falsehood that never was, tearing apart precious memories as they preach their lies in an endeavour to feel as if they shall be saved by one other than themselves. As if all they have to do is be good, and fair, and right and that all will be well. That if there is calamity, someone will save them."

"There was a choice." Marivel says, looking back, eyes twitching. "There is always a choice..."

"But of course as you say, tis not a choice any good soul would refuse to pay when given the opportunity. You wish to live, but you know that to decide to live is a decision you cannot live with. So as it was with Ana, so as it is with Lunata. If you think 'it is not fair' will bend the will of Ge Ramda, you are mistaken. When you renegotiate, I suggest thinking of what Lunata is needed for, and what else might fulfil your buyer's need."

Marivel closes her eyes a moment. "...And perhaps make Lunata see the true you while you're at it. If she is not yet forever blind."

She looks to Arleph. "A life for a life."

Her body shakes briefly and she covers her eyes for a moment as if struck by headache.

"Yes. This world can ill afford to lose good people." She says before straightening up, turning away again. "...Yet sacrifices they remain."

<Pose Tracker> Kourin has posed.

"Do you think I do not know how that feels?" Kourin snarls at Marivel. "I walked away from the Guard. I walked away from ever being able to return home to Lunar safely. I turned away from the Goddess' chosen, and even now expect that when all this is over I will never see my home again! I have faced a world being snatched away from me! And I have carried on. I have trained in combat, I have trained in magic, and I have dedicated my life to helping my friends, as there is nothing else I have. My dreams of someday finding my heritage have been shattered--my mother is a heartless mercenary. And now, one of my first friends--not just on Filgaia, but ever--seeks for an end to her life and I can do nothing. All of my training means nothing, and I am helpless. I know well how unfair life is. And that is what I mourn. You may have come to terms with this, but you will not deny me my grief." Tears stream down her face as she speaks. 

<Pose Tracker> Arleph Ardan has posed.

"The wounds are still fresh. It will heal and reason will return as we have faced this pain." Arleph gives another pat on Kourin's shoulder, even now that she snarls out her anger and frustrations.
 
 He listens in to the Crimson Noble's speech, almost berating comment. That's the issue when dealing with immortals: they've seen, usually, a way lot more than you ever had by sheer volume. He is still staggering at the sheer concept of a world having spirit that guards it, raw enemies that seeks to corrupt a world from within. Field energies on a planet do exist, that's not new. Heck, planetary-sized lifeforms are not THAT unheard of, if exceedingly rare. However, this amount of spirituality just STUCK and CHOKED into this one solar system is staggering.
 
 He may not be immortal, however, he do come with a very interesting outsider's perspective. He knows, without a doubt, that Mankind is far older and wiser than most people give it credit for here... and even that is starting to be questioned. Thanks, Id.
 
 Cyre adds his bits, the symbologist is already lost in his thoughts, drawn out of it when Marivel talks to him, pointing it out.
 
 A life for a life, huh.
 
 There is a brief flash of light on Arleph's lenses as he adjust them. A trick of the light, perhaps. "I've discovered in my life that there is usually more than the paths people lay before you," Arleph begins, eyes focused on Mariel, studying her with a piercing stare. "Here are the facts: she is suffering. She made a sacrifice for her mother. She wish to end this suffering with the first way she knows. I do not know who instilled that idea into her and convinced it was the only one, this might be needed to be found out, but,"
 
 He lifts a finger. "You clearly know more about this Guardian than we do. Renegotiation for a person's life will likely require sacrifice of some sort, or the proof of a great need, as you say. More importantly, it will require her will to do so. This will be the biggest challenge: if she is as desperate to do this in this, this means she see no other ways out."
 
 Arleph steps up, looking at the others. "Which means, now more than ever, she needs help and support. The world is not like binary: there is often other ways. If there is no obvious choices... then we'll make one happen." 

<Pose Tracker> Catenna has posed.

"I think the word Hero is an awfully loaded word anyway," Catenna says with a frown, resting a hand at her hip. "The expectations it puts on someone are impossible to ever uphold."

She reaches out, sliding an arm into the crook of Cyre's as she moves to stand alongside him.

When Marivel starts to go on at length, Catenna just lets out a slow breath through her nose, not moving to interrupt the woman's extended lecture. About halfway into it, she glances up at Cyre, opening her mouth a little as if to say something.

She can't get a word in edgewise. She just closes her mouth again and brings her free hand up to brush through the Owlet's feathers, giving the tiny bird a small scratch behind the neck.

"...Are you done sneeringly heaping guilt for the entire compendium of the sins of humanity on a handful of young people grieving the loss of someone they love?" she asks quietly. 

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

"...She told me she was going to do some work for a Maester she and Shalune met - Seymour, I think she called him." Jacqueline explains, as Ethius asks where Lunata is. Jacqueline listens quietly. As Catenna and Cyre try to reassure her. She nods to Cyre as he rests a hand on her shoulder.

They were right, of course. She knew that. ...But it was hard. She was still wrestling with her own thoughts and emotions on this. It was a feeling she wasn't familiar with.

And then Marivel speaks, and Jacqueline suddenly feels like a child being scolded. Her face reddens with embarrassment, and she wants to look away...but she doesn't. She listens quietly as Marivel says her piece, lets everything out.

Marivel was right, of course. It hurt to admit it. Jacqueline couldn't deny it, there was no way she could refute her words.

But what was it Ge Ramtos wanted? She didn't know that much yet. There was still so much she needed to learn...and would have to, if it meant helping Lunata.

...But she could't find the answers here, right now - even if they were right in front of her she was too unstable really comprehend them. She needed to rest, and recenter herself.

And so, without a word, Jacqueline, still shaking, walks over to her worktable, gathering her failed experiments up in her arms. She'll need to dispose of them properly later.

"...I...I'm going back inside. I...I need to think." She says, her voice quiet. She turns and walks back to the Carakin - in its current disguised form - but before she gets there, she pauses, looking back at Marivel.

"...I'm sorry." She whispers, sympathy in her voice. 

<Pose Tracker> Catenna has posed.

Catenna cocks her head to one side and watches Jacqueline go, her lips pressed lightly together.

Only once the alchemist is out of earshot does she swing back towards Marivel.

"Nice job," she says with all the mildness of an ice pick to the eye socket. 

<Pose Tracker> Ethius Hesiod has posed.

    Ethius does not receive a satisfactory answer as to Lunata's present physical location, and he starts to pace the rounds around the gathering, about Cyre's reassurances and Mairvel's lectures. A hand goes to his forehead. Where could she have gone?
     "Wh-"
     He's cut off by Marivel at the 'nobody asks for this' part. He quiets again. Something about the situation, simply not knowing where she is, is doing more than merely removing the physical mask over his face could ever do in showing his feelings. That rare glimpse.
     Agitated. Nervous?
     Marivel's counts are interesting. Elw stumbled 'once,' Hyadeans stumbled... thrice? Knowing what he does, what he saw in that assault on the Photosphere... no, enough on that.
     'Unfair is watching your world dying before your very eyes, knowing that it will never be your world again.' That passage halts him - or he's seeing/hearing something off in the distance, as he looks away from the crowd, and from Marivel (this is extremely rude on his part).
     "Where is she," he repeats again, in a lower voice, lost to Marivel's reminder of the CaraKin's natures, as emotions and retorts start to boil over among the gathered. He steps away further, detaching from some of the individual dramas as he tries to mentally trace the places that Lunata could have gone, or where, or why, ambling off further alongside the Highroad as if expecting to come across the familiar scents of her cooking. If she's leaving behind her equipment, she's not leaving behind her best trade skill to see here where she's going...
     ...
     "She can't have gone far," he says, but this - even through the even tone of his voice - seems less that of a deductive statement and almost like bargaining. 

<Pose Tracker> Cyre H. Lorentz has posed.

The Crimson Noble speaks. Her words carry the condemnation of centuries, the grief of being the last of her kind and the bitterness of watching a race that has known so little of how fortunate it has been squander away all of the world's blessings. And yet--

Even being a Baskar, I.E. one of those human-ish-people who actually do know and espouse similar concerns, he... Also knows that this is neither the right time nor the right place.

Cyre exchanges a meaningful look with Catenna as Jay gathers up her things, and... quietly and gently brushes a hand against her cheek, as if to say 'watch this.'

He then brings his fingers to his lips and blows, emitting a shrill whistle that just barely ranges on the upper end of human hearing-- but not bestial hearing.

For a moment, it looks like he's just trying to get everyone's attention, disrupt the conversation, be a giant thorn in everyone's collective social sides.

And then, barreling out of the Carakin, dodging around Jay with a surprisingly thoughtful lunge, comes a great surging body of fluff and love that can only be the caravan's very own Dire Wolf Pupper (no longer a puppy), the one and only...

"Waffles," Cyre intones with all the ominous gravitas of a Roman Emperor ordering an execution, "This blonde lady is being sad. Give her hugs until she stops."

There's a great, booming *BWORF* as said defective doggo leaps boldly forth to give Marivel the sloppiest, huggiest snuggle she's had in at least a few decades.

Meanwhile, Cyre looks to Ethius and frowns. "I dunno," he answers as Waffles does as Waffles does, "They said something about a guy named Seymour? Sounds like a pretty nerdy name." 

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Of millenia. It seems unlikely that Marivel is thinking of one particular failing, one particular misstep. When she listed numbers,the Nobles weren't among them. Either she is not aware of any earth shattering kabooms, or they are blameless enough but even if so, her tribe as a small one. Perhaps it's unfair to expect the same out of....however many humans there were at the time.

Kourin lashes out at Marivel first. She seemed perplexed rather than enraged or upset at first and then says, "You have much in common with your friend. You both chose to 'leave'. I am sorry about your mother. Even I have felt a mother's love. To be utterly bereft of it is a cruelty inflicted I cannot imagine."

While for some reason she thinks being an undead monster isn't that big of a deal and is a bit offended at the talking down of such pacts, she does seem to recognize true tragedy yet.

Arleph seems to handle her words the best (possibly because he's a wizard and expects this shit??) but Marivel says, "As many paths as there are feet, but you were at a loss, I provided options." Pause. "T'was not eye who put the idea into her. I think she should appreciate that her mother is alive and all the bargain took from her was a pulse. But you have the right of it and are prepared to act, so you have my respect." ARLEPH SOMEHOW?

Catenna cuts through the drama with a single sentence.

"...You lost nothing yet. She moved out." But perhaps it is telling that she does not comment on the first half. Her feelings may be more complex than she lets on.

"...You owe me no apologies, Jacqueline." Marivel says. "You are just a run of the mill no good human. Tis natural to stumble in your course. I merely bid you to be quick about getting up. The time for suffering and grief is past." She HAS been having a rough time since her arrival on Lunar. First Matilda, then this. "With your completely normal hands, you shall concoct your victory."

Ethius asks a question. "I last saw her in Luca." That seems simple enough. Probably don't count on Marivel's numbers being precise, though, she doesn't actually tabulate calamities. She is about to say something when suddenly there's a dog whistle.

A pair of dogs appear. Marivel turns to look at them, her expression stone-cold, her ancient demeanor absent of cracks, and her will scarcely bending.

She sees the dogs.

INSTANTLY: https:'66.media.tumblr.com70617a6bff8464873201ebc439cc57e0tumblr_p3uybpF4861tjqw6so2_400.gif
"Eeeeeeee....!" Marivel is tackled over by the doggo (there is no defective doggo ok) and she doesn't seem to care. She laughs hysterically as the dog walks all over her and licks her face and love love love love love love love--

"What a beautiful lovely creature! Who is the wonderfullest dog in the world? Who is the best and bested of puppy pals? Is it you two? IS IT YOU TWO? Why wes it isssss...!"

She cranes her head so the dog can get all the licks in that it wants.

CRIMSON NOBLE WEAKNESSES

1) The sun.

2) They are dog lovers.

"Ooooh, you are such a good boy aren't you? Not like a naughty grump of a wolf. A cutey cutey pup patooty--"

She then looks towards Cyre, joy fading instantly as she stares at him with the gaze of a true ancient once more.

"...Hob. Nob. That one is being sassy. Class: Beastman (Cat)."

A twin pair of orbs (one red, one blue) float over to Cyre at some speed. One of them shines a laser pointer on the ground. The other one barfs INFINITE YARN at him repeatedly without end.

Back to dogs. "Ooh, I've got a treat for you, yes I do. Yes I dooo." 

<Pose Tracker> Catenna has posed.

Catenna tilts her head as Marivel calls Jacquline a run-of-the-mill no-good human.

The Moon Shaman turns away and begins to make her way back towards the CaraKin with a last glance back as Cyre calls out the dogs. For a few seconds she watches Marivel play with the pair of big ol' fluffers.

"Cyre, don't bother," she says with a shake of her head.

She gives Marivel a last look. "I hope that next time you find a better outlet for your bitterness than a sad girl who's hurting right now," she says before heading back towards the CaraKin.

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