2019-05-14: A Weak Love
- Log: A Weak Love
- Cast: Riesenlied, Noeline, Fei Fong Wong
- Where: Djose Temple
- Date: 14th May 2019
- Summary: Riesenlied and Noeline recuperate at Djose Temple and meet Fei.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
A day since the efforts of recovery and recuperation at Operation Mi'ihen -- their trip through Mushroom Rock Road included -- Riesenlied kind of fell apart at the end and... the small Outreach dispatch team has arrived at a particular rest stop at the end of said road:
Djose Temple.
The Temple itself is a remarkable piece of ancient architecture -- a stone building embedded onto the mushroom-rock cliffside, featuring enormous floating pillars held aloft in midair by seemingly nothing more than sheer electrical current.
Fortunately, it's not necessary to come too close to them; there's a waystation to serve Summoners on their pilgrimage and other travelers, and it's here that Riesenlied has spent the last twelve hours resting from her burnout--
--and probably unconsciously clinging to Noeline in no small amount, at that.
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Perhaps it looks a little backwards for Noeline to be the one to have Riesenlied's head on her lap rather than vice versa. She certainly seems to think so herself, chuckling a little as she arranges the other Hyadean to ensure she's comfortable, drifting a hand slowly and repeatedly through her blonde hair. Though it's hard to avoid Riesenlied's scales and sharp deformation, Noeline's long since learnt how to avoid the worst of them and ignore the rest.
Worry trickles through her mind, as it always does at times like this - but she's gotten better at working through it, and it would be a lie to say she wasn't prepared for something like this to happen. It didn't take much to figure out that Sin's attack and its aftermath would both be challenging in very different ways, and even she's feeling grateful for the chance to rest and recuperate.
And what a place to rest; whenever she looks up from her vigil it's to study the tapestries and decorations that dot the waystation, or to glance out of a nearby window at the wildly improbable look of the temple that stands before them, curiosity written plainly on her features. "Really..." she sighs to herself, filling in the silence. "What a fantastical place Spira can be at times. I wonder if this is how so many ruins on Filgaia used to look, before they started to fall into disrepair? It certainly feels like seeing history in motion, at least to me."
She pauses, uncertain. Hopefully Janey isn't trying to dodge lightning bolts, or something like that. (It's not like she'd have the patience for it, anyway.)
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
SOMEWHERE NEARBY TO THE WEST AND NORTH
"It's okay, Mikaia. This badge will protect me from lightning," Janey puffs her chest out, having made a paper badge that says 'FRANKLEEN' on it.
"I'm not even having any of this, I'm out," Mikaia throws her hands up and walks off.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied certainly terribly enjoys spoiling Noeline and having her rest on her lap, it's true; but it's these kinds of moments in turn that really let her recharge, and at least her body seems to acknowledge it enough that her horns have totally turned floppy dogear.
There's a kind of hazy, drowsy voice as she murmurs, "In ways... it is more compassionate than Filgaia. These waystations are well maintained and staffed... you'd be hard pressed to find such comforts along the road in Ignas."
There's another low, stretched-out moan as she stares up a bit listlessly. "You were... really dashing. I'm really smitten," Riesenlied burbles very softly. Oh dear, someone's a little out of sorts.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei has been quiet since making it to the Sending. Now he has stepped into Djose Temple, sitting himself down near the entrance and closing his eyes. He hasn't said anything since arriving besides the occassional remark on the setting.
His mind is on something and he's trying to settle on it. Be a driving force, perhaps, rather than just someone who reacts to tragedies as they come. But to what aim? To what purpose? And how? He does not have thse answers.
"Rough land, huh?" He says eventually.
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
With a blink, Noeline looks over; she'd thought that Riesenlied had drifted back off into sleep at some point, but chuckles again with a rather indulgent smile when she realizes how unguarded the other Hyadean is right at this moment. For a moment, her fingers lightly scratch at the base of one horn as she hums, watching the reaction as her smile nudges further towards a grin. "I agree. Whatever else you can say about the place, Spira certainly has a great deal of cooperation."
Her cheeks are lightly red by the time Riesenlied is done talking, huffing ever so softly to herself in the wake of the surprisingly forthright statement. She shifts a little, trying to soothe the noise of pain with a touch at Riesenlied's cheek - and then hums as she leans down to place a kiss on her beloved's forehead.
"I could only be dashing because you were there, because we could cover and combine each other's strengths. ... though, I should certainly /hope/ I can still draw your eye," she teases with a lopsided grin before softening again. "... if I am dashing, you are a pillar of compassion. And I am no less smitten with you."
She hesitates, and then straightens up as if she's a cat trying to pretend nothing happened, the colour of her cheeks a little brighter. It doesn't work in any shape or form, since she's still practically cuddling Riesenlied in her lap. "Undoubtedly," she responds to Fei after a moment of thought, keeping her tone light - not wanting to disturb this moment of peace for Riese. "But it is all in how people respond to it, and how they live within it. If there's one thing to take away, I would say it's the sight of offworlders, next to Yevonites, next to Al Bhed."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"Yyy, you'll never stop drawing my eye," Riesenlied unguardedly answers indeed, feeling that haziness as she lifts her head up just the slightest bit if only to worry that some sharp piece of her face might be snagging. It tend to always be a worry.
She curls a little against the blanket that's been nestled around her, feeling the fabric and appreciating the pattern for a short moment. "Ehe... oh--"
Fei speaks up and Riesenlied nods. "Fei... I saw-- I saw you and Leon during the Sending, but--" she bites her lip, her head a little clouded by the sequence of events that've happened. "It was quite hard... and Noeline, you're right too. As much difficulty as there has been... there has been a lot of encouragement I've drawn from the people here too."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei Fong Wong shakes his head. "You don't have to explain anything," He says, smiling over to Riesenlied. "When mourning sometimes you gotta do it your own way. And I know these sorts of things hit you hard. Even if you don't know any of 'em."
He does not try to join in on the flirting. He's just happy to be with good company right now. This allows him this lazy smile, this distant gaze, and exhales faintly.
"That's a good way to think of it."
They won't think of it like that
"But..." He trails off. "Well, maybe I don't need to be a downer right now." He shakes his head. "But whether it's here or back home, I think we need to..."
He frowns. The system itself is broken. Is not Vinsfeld proof of that, he thinks.
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Noeline responds to that worry by coaxing Riesenlied right back down, nudging her back into the warmth of the blanket she'd found earlier. The clothes she has now are more hard-wearing than she used to prefer - and part of that is exactly for times like these, so she can nestle in against Riesenlied without worry, sharp ragged edges or no.
(She'd gone for the softest and fuzziest one possible to tuck Riesenlied into, or course, together with a little doll that was ostensibly a chocobo. It's a bit too misshapen and round to actually pick out that detail, but something told Noeline that was just going to make it a better present.)
"The Sending was... not an experience I would like to repeat, obviously," Noeline huffs a little as her hand returns to Riesenlied's hair, gently nudging her warmth at the shard of the Dragon's Tear she carries to try to help soothe her partner through the topic. "But it was respectful and reverent, and quite beautiful."
She leaves it at that, aware that it's not exactly something that should be complimented so much as recognized. Instead, she watches Fei; she caught a little of his and Leon's conversation, and her expression turns a trifle solemn as she shakes her head.
"... I know it must be difficult to keep your cool after the last few days. But from a longer point of view, it is important to realize that Spira still stands - and its people are ready to stand together much more closely than I'd given them credit for. Just as Drifters came together in Elru to help us all, or in Wayside."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied draws in a long breath that takes in a lot, the faint scent of aromatherapy the helpful temple attendants have lit for her recovery, the charged scents of the air around Mushroom Rock Road and everything else as she closes her eyes and thinks.
She feels Noeline's presence through the Dragon's Tear, as she shivers to say, "I haven't... I haven't caught up with everything that's happened. I'm still grieving about the Lost Sanctum... I'm still struggling with Sin and what it does when it visits ashore."
She looks to Noeline with a quiet nod, whispering, "They have so much more inner strength than I do. I have to... I have to rebuild myself anew."
There's a little pause as she swallows and looks to Fei.
There's a longer moment as she works to pull herself up to something a bit presentable, and-- clings to that little choco-doll that Noeline's readied for her.
She hesitates, then says to Fei, something that's claerly been on her mind for a while:
"I remember... you told me -- well, I heard you through the Ley... why does love carry a sword?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei says, "I'm not angry." to Noeline. "I mean." He laughs a bit. "I'm about as calm as anyone can be, I think, without being a sociopath after what happened. I am honestly glad I wasn't at the battle--and not just because it didn't work out. Elly's still recovering from what happened to her the /last/ time we saved the world. We can't..." He exhales, shaking his head. "We can't just wait for every problem to become apocalyptic before we solve it and I don't just mean 'Sin', though I think for something that has been 'defeated' so often there is really not a lot of information about it. I mean everything. Mother destroyed an entire nation and attacked a second one before we even knew something was up. Now there's Vinsfeld and he's got the job on everybody. He has a bloody army and the Sorcery Globe." He pauses. Was it the Sorcery Globe he had or the Saucery Globe? Either way, it's a troubling predicament.
He ralizes that despite not being angry he is getting tense so he lets it out with a long breath. "I think there's some stuff under the surface that we haven't even touched. Even seen. It doesn't make sense for all these problems to come out all at once."
He pauses and adds, "Actually I've been meaning to--"
Riesenlied asks him first. Fei reddens faintly and looks at the ground. "...I uh. I was wondering that myself for a while. I can't say my answer is any more correct than any others, but..." He looks towards Riesenlied, and then back down. "Love carries a sword because a love that won't get angry, that won't fightwhen those you care about are hurting...is a weak love."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
A love that won't fight when you care about are hurting... is a weak love.
Riesenlied doesn't immediately answer with words, but the quiet strained noise as she clings tightly to Noeline is rather telling, all told.
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Noeline pauses as she looks down at Riesenlied, her fingers gently rubbing at the back of her partner's neck. "... take your time. It's alright. It's entirely understandable, to struggle with something like that," she admits ruefully, then moves to help Riesenlied nudge up towards a more sitting position. "You have been through more than anyone could ever have thought possible. The fact you're still going is a marvel," she adds, keeping 'and a relief' to herself.
"And from that-- I would argue that you have every bit as much inner strength, personally speaking," she huffs out a breath, tucking Riese against her shoulder. "But if you wish to rebuild yourself, that is fine. You are not in this alone," she promises, quietly and fervently.
She's quiet for a moment as she takes in Fei's speech, her mouth set in a thoughtful frown. "... it is becoming clearer and clearer that we on Filgaia know very little about the state of the 'world' in general. And it is not just us - all these disparate kingdoms and countries that have been kept separate from each other for so long, and then suddenly have their cultures clash together - that will naturally cause friction. Is it right for us to come here and say that the way Spira manages Sin is 'wrong'? Is it right to overturn that much history?"
She lets out a breath. "I realize that, coming from a newly liberated Hyadean, that is a very ironic question. But I suppose that is my point - these things are not necessarily things we can make a preemptive decision on, not without a great deal of understanding and information. I am not saying you're wrong - I am merely asking you be careful, and keep in mind all those you wish to help."
She's kept her voice quiet throughout, still not wanting to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. When Riesenlied stiffens, she draws her arm more tightly around the other Hyadean, letting out a breath. She's well aware just how much she embodies Fei's statement; she's the one who raised arms willingly against the Quarter Knights, even at her lowest point.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"... it's partially my fault," Riesenlied's face gets more stricken as Fei speaks about Vinsfeld. "Two years ago, I helped Alhazred and Father mitigate the effects of the Sorcery Globe through a barrier to contain it. But the urgency of everything else meant no one'd kept an eye on it, and Odessa used that negligence... ..."
Riese's horns are already peak dogears, so they can't slump any further.
"I do agree... we scarce understand everything that is going on between the two worlds. What stirred Sin, the Clysmian of Obsession, to Meribia's shores... what caused the war in Glenwood... there's so much that happens beyond our eyes," Riesenlied further admits as she lowers her head down.
Oh no, now she's being a downer!!
But Noeline's rubbing her neck, and it reminds her to take a break and breathe, nodding as she breathes.
"I don't know if I have a good answer to that still. Is the love that I bear... weak?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei wishes he could just tell Riesenlied 'no of course not' but he did just say that love carries a sword FOR A REASON and it would be pretty awkward if he went back on that. Especially since he knows he means it. It's what he genuinely believes. It is what he thinks is important for him to remember in the future so that he does not simply...give up in the face of everything. So much happens beyond their eyes, it's true. For a moment he is at a loss. He looks at his hands for a moment, then he smiles at them.
"Hey, not all fighting has to be with a sword, you know?" He offers to Riesenlied. "There were some great things only you could do that Leon or I would've never been able to do."
He lowers his head. "But..." He frowns. "...It doesn't always have to be that way...but sometimes..." He exhales. "Sometimes it has to be. We got lucky with Mother, I hate to say it but it's true. If she hadn't confessed her true nature, that battle would've been a lot harder, maybe impossible. We barely defeated her and that was /without/ Siegfried helping her. Or Harken. Imagine if they had been! We might not have survived, let alone won."
"Vinsfeld," He adds. "K.K and Ragnell. Even the Emperor. They're not going to give us that kind of luck. They actually believe in what they're doing, they have causes beyond oblivion. And they won't back down from words and kindness."
SPOILERS: He might be maybe kinda wrong about the Emperor there but WEIRDLY he is not inclined to be charitable.
"I don't blame you for Vinsfeld at all. It's not as if he would've not been a problem if he didn't take hold of the Sorcery Globe. I mean, if he hadn't had to fight to get it he might've even had it earlier!"
Fei never knew the Prime Directive. "Yeah, of course." He says, predating the whole thing. "Because Sin is still murdering everything! And it's been, what, ten years since the last time? That means everybody here, if Sin doesn't kill 'em, has to deal between 7-9 Sins. It's not ... it's not tenable and I trust Yevon about as far as I can /throw/ Sin." Don't ask him to throw Sin.
"But I don't just mean Sin." Fei says. "
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
"... I don't think anyone could have expected you to keep an eye on the Sorcery Globe," Noeline points out with a patient if slightly wry smile. "Things were rather hectic on Elru, to say the least. I wouldn't have thought anyone could be able to get to it, let alone when things were so busy elsewhere. Besides... none of us are capable of looking after the whole world on our own, or even close to it. It's alright. We had our own people to look after, even if we try our best to help as many as we can."
She pauses in thought, but she's quick to shake her head as well. "As Fei says... I might be biased, but I would never call your love weak. Your love is in connecting with people and understanding them. If it were not for that, we would not be here - we would never have reached you as we did. You are the one that built Wayside, that first pleaded with the Guardians as a whole. That counts for a very great deal. And when it is not enough, I will be there to help."
She's patient with Fei, only letting out a breath for a moment and keeping her touch rubbing gently at Riesenlied's skin. "... how long has Spira been around? How long has Sin? A thousand years or so, and yet Spira still stands. To them, that is tenable. Changing that perception will take time, and care."
... but now that she's said it, she furrows her brow. A thousand years. That sort of timeframe crops up again and again. "Should we petition Lombardia again, I wonder..."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"I didn't... make it easier, with the struggle against Mother. But it was with all your strengths and sacrifices that I'm still here today, and free," Riesenlied quietly murmurs. "I'm...."
She leans a bit more intently against Noeline as she concentrates, and summons a familiar looking sword. It's the Fereshte Heritor's heirloom weapon, Mistilteinn as Prissa christened it. She doesn't know if it had a name prior to that.
Noeline disagrees that her love is weak, and she tries to remind herself of that. Of what she's promised to do. Of all the exercise she's been doing to rebuild herself against atrophy. But she hesitates, as she further divulges what she's thinking:
"I long wondered why the Heritor was given a sword," Riesenlied quietly admits. "Nasrin never seemed comfortable with it. She'd ask me, too, a long time ago. But in my time with them, and at the end it was with her own sword that..."
She clutches the sheathed sword a little tighter. Her hand is pale and sweating.
"That... I was told, the Heritor has a sword, because it reminds her that she is a sacrifice should the world demand that of you."
Her shoulders stiffen and raise as she leans closer against Noeline as she mumbles, "So much about Spira reminded me so much about it. And I have no better answer right now... it feels like I am following in the Fereshte's cruel traditions. I feel, a bit lost and responsible and failing my loved ones..."
She pinches the bridge of her nose. "Mm-mm..." She looks to Noeline and hesitates on that note on Lombardia's. "... she's hurting too. I don't have the heart to tell her her closest friend... is now gone."
She's kind of freefalling in mood right now, isn't she...
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei's fist curls tight. "Don't--!"
That flareup fades as he forcefully brings his mood back under control. "Don't talk to me about time. Please. I'm not saying to be reckless, but if we wait for the perfect time we'll be waiting forever. And I don't just mean Sin here. We know more about Solaris than we ever have before and they can still just show up whenever they want and..."
He cuts himself off. He doesn't want to say it. He shakes his head. "This isn't standing, Noeline. This is surviving. Trust me, I know, a meager basic life can be very fulfilling... but... I don't trust Yevon. I don't." Fei has always been pretty anti-theist, only grudgingly accepting the Guardians after they gave his friends boons. "And just because the people have accepted this is the way things are--Crusaders and Al Bhed aside--that does not make it right nor does it mean we have to figure out how to coerce them first."
He opens his mouth about Lombardia and then slams it back shut. He turns around a bit and looks at the floor. He still remembers his own outburst against Lombardia and even if Lombardia left on her own, he blames himself for the conversation not going better than it had. "If Lombardia wants to rest maybe we should let 'er."
He stands up and adds, "I..I...Umm. I should probably cool my head. I guess it was pretty dumb to ask what I was gonna ask but..."
He looks to Riesenlied. "Should I... let Emeralda meet him? You know, uh, the other me?"
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Noeline is firm when she shakes her head at Riesenlied's statement. "You not only made it easier - you made it possible. We were not the only ones who showed strength and sacrifice that day," she promises solemnly. "I won't claim I did nothing - I am past doing that - but you reached out as much as we did."
She turns her gaze a little, watching the sword for a long moment as she gathers her thoughts. It's difficult to remain calm, but she knows she has to; that right now, Riesenlied needs that sort of stability and support. "You do not have to be the same sort of Heritor that she was," she whispers gently. "You are the Heritor of Wayside. Even before everything happened on Elru... Odoryuk showed you trust."
Carefully, she lays her hand atop Riesenlied's where it grips the sword; slowly, she curls her hand around her partner's. "None of us would say you are failing us," she promises, her voice soft.
She lets Fei's words wash over her - but evidently not out of dismissal as she glances to one side, offering Fei a nod of recognition rather than further prolong an argument that isn't helping. It's been a long day already, for all of them, and she knows her own viewpoint is sometimes a little too pragmatic and long-term to be helpful.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
If it were a comical scene, you would absolutely have been able to see the steam clouds escaping from Riesenlied's horns. It's too much right now! It's just too much...
As it is, though, she just wears a wounded look on her face.
"Yes, I should too... I'm sorry. I'm just not in a good place right now... I'm sorry." Riesenlied takes the bad habit of apologising for everything again. "I already said I'm-- ooh..." Whoops she's gone circular.
Instead, she draws strength from Noeline's firmness, knowing that her partner's blend of pragmatism, careful logic and long-term planning helps propel her through her lowest of points.
She's not failing them...
If Janey were here and not busy getting owned by surprisingly harmless lightning bolts because she didn't press (X) at the right time, she would agree too.
But Fei asks if he should let Emeralda meet him.
A sleepy girl stirs inside. She's not very wakeful these days. "...hrm..."
"I think..." she looks to Noeline. "Noeline and I decided early on that we would not try to lie to Janey, Mikaia or the other children. About what we are, what we were, what we've done. So I think... it is worth being honest there."
She tilts her head. "But you don't have to do it overnight... you should be ready for it." She manages the weakest of smiles. "Both of you."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
For what it's worth, Fei doesn't thnk Riesenlied has much to apologize for. If she had sinned, well, she's paid that over a thousand times hasn't she? But as effective as that path has been for Riesenlied, Fei is increasingly aware it is not for him. You can't have someone like Id inside of you and live that life. How can you say 'we can solve this without conflict!' when some part of you is always quite willing to go there? You just can't. Especially when denying that aspect of yourself gives it power.
Besides, some deep part of Fei tells him it's been tried before hasn't it? Over and over? He can't put himself on that pyre again though he prays Wayside is the exception.
He seems to ease up a bit though, now that he's stood himself up and seems intent on cooling his head. He smiles a little at the answer. It's a nice answer. He kind of hoped for the other answer.
"Right..." He says. "Honesty. Best policy. ... Both of us."
He then heads off to think about that.