2019-08-14: For Endless Fight

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  • Log: For Endless Fight
  • Cast: Kamui, Marivel Armitage
  • Where: Macalania
  • Date: 14th August 2019
  • Summary: Marivel finds Kamui reminiscing by the Guts-Dozer.


<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

Kamui kind of got lost in the shuffle following the battle at Lapisera Mines, but eventually... well, her data banks prove kind of valuable when it comes to touching up the Guts-Dozer. Besides...

She would be there anyway, quietly curled up on its lap near its cockpit as she places a hand down upon its side and thunks her forehead down.

"... I'm sorry you have to continue ... being used like this," Kamui murmurs quietly. "I'm so sorry..."

A pause.

"But... you're Gutsy. And... I'll try to be Gutsy too. Even if it hurts a lot inside."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Used like what?"

Marivel has been conducting repairs to the Guts-Dozer periodically though she had stepped away for a time because she was feeling peckish. She has brought along a small tin container with a cartoon penguin on it along with her toolkit which she has swung over one shoulder. But she did catch Kamui's words.

"I guess it was a pretty rough fight there. Very rude and sudden that one." She hefts herself up, swinging herself onto the Gutsdozer's lap. She offers the tin container to Kamui.

Inside said container... are penguin shaped gingerbread cookies!

"I suppose I am the type who uses others sometimes," Marivel admits. "I try to be honest about the sort of person I am but I try not to be too cruel. Are you worried about Gutsy here?"

She pats the robot on the side.

<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

"... ... used like ..." Kamui murmurs, sounding very listless and not at all like the exciteable, child-like Kamui she usually is!

A pause.

She doesn't remember.

"It's not going to... get any easier for a while," Kamui assesses. A pause, as she looks towards Marivel and holds up a gingerbread cookie.

"Pengy..."

A longer pause, as Marivel asks if she's worried about Gutsy.

"I don't know... I just feel a nostalgic... sadness."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Mm." Marivel says. "The world is not easy. Tis what makes living in it worthwhile. If 'twere easy, well..." She looks back to Kamui. "It can be easy if you wish. You can retire from my bloody work, stay with Acacia, do some journalism. Your room will always be free in the Castle. There are no strings attached to my love for you."

She looks back forward and adds, "Helping others is difficult. They're rarely thankful , believe me, and when they are that gratitude melts away as quickly and easily as snow."

She tilts her head down a bit and adds, "To me, any machine is worthy of respect whether they have your brilliant heart or if they are merely user operated constructs. Of course, Guts-Dozer appearing was quite a surprise wasn't it?" She laughs a bit and adds, "But I believe that the difficult choices we face, and the painful paths we cross--they will be worth it. And I will not sacrifice anyone for that path if my power means anything."

Maybe it doesn't.

<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

"... ... I don't ... want to sound as if I'm whining," Kamui quietly admits, slumping her head. "Maybe I am. Maybe I'm struggling. I feel like my resolve to you is being tested, but..."

She quietly leans against Marivel if she'll allow it. She sounds a bit more lucid than normal. "... thank you ... for having love for me. Not just now... but since always," she quietly admits.

She closes her eyes. Do some journalism. Stay with Acacia. Would that be more fitting? Yet...

"It was... a real surprise," Kamui agrees. "I want to check on Xiumei too. That was... also a real surprise to me." A deeper frown. "I don't want to just see him in her. She deserves better. She's one of us."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel allows it, and even wraps an arm around Kamui in a hug. "I just want you to be happy, Kamui. Not to live a challenge-free life, not to never face hardship, but just so that when you sink into the memories you've managed to keep, you find more joy than sorrow. I know I--" She hesitates and then just admits it. "--I know that there is more to caring for others than simply loving them, and I know I am...inadequate as a caretaker. I have my own pain and the culture of my people is not the same as what Lumen had come from. Perhaps if mom and dad were still around, I could ask them for advice but...heh... well I hope it would have been of some help."

She presses her head up against Kamui's.

"Mm. I hadn't anticipated that myself. But he still cares for you, it seems. Maybe he and Xiumei will find absolution with one another and your new friend and your old friend will yet walk by your side once more. That's a nice thought, isn't it?"

<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

Kamui lets out a little, quiet sniffle as she hears Marivel out. She doesn't respond right away.

"You came back."

That's the first thing she can say, a little warbling. "You came back to us... to me. I was thinking... maybe you could have walked into the sun. Would you have seen... her? Just like me... you've done more than your fair share of bleeding for the world. Yet we're both still here. And..."

She looks up towards and clings tighter towarsd her.

"And yet you came back. And that means more than the world to me... so it's OK if it's bumpy."

A pause.

"... mmm. I hope so. I know how much it hurts to only be seen as... someone other than who you feel you are."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel is briefly stunned by Kamui's words and then she laughs again. "I guess I couldn't sneak that one past you." She strokes Kamui's hair absently as she adds, "Yes, I did consider staying. And--yes. I did see her."

She is quiet for a moment and adds, "And I stayed with her for a time, because as strong as I may behave, even I like to be a little weak sometimes. But Ana didn't let me forget what I had to go back for." She pulls her hand away from Kamui's head and instead boops her on the nose. "You. And my promise with Ashley."

She lets her hand drop then and adds. "I will always be with you. And until the day you no longer need this old demon and can smile freely, I will be with you. As long as you wish for me to be by your side, you will find me there. Either in spirit, or literally." She pauses and adds, "But often literally."

To be seen as someone 'other' than who you feel you are.

"Mm. Zhang Xiumei is a good person. I need not see eye to eye with her to stand shoulder to shoulder with her. I trust her more than I trust Varius but--perhaps I had misjudged Varius. I suppose time will tell. I would be happy to have misjudged him."

<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

"... it wasn't the first time, is why," Kamui answers. Perhaps she talks about the time of Conflagration, the first time Marivel and Anastasia both disappeared into the Memory Maze, and Kamui stood to fight against an endless wave of enemies...

Though if you asked her, she'd probably be pretty clueless. The Suffering Circuit comes and goes, after all.

"You have a promise... with Ashley..." A pause, as that name starts to grow cold on her lips. And she doesn't like it. Maverick...

She doesn't have to think about it now.

"One day, you'll get your well deserved rest with Ana. Just like I'm looking forward to my rest with Gami."

A pause....

She clutches at her chest.

"... Varius..." she sounds sorrowful. "I still don't remember everything... but..."

A longer pause.

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Hey I wasn't gone that long." Marivel says of the Conflagration. "Well, subjectively speaking I wasn't gone that long." What does that mean Marivel??? But she doesn't explain it. There's rules after all, and Ccrimson Nobles love tying themselves in rules. They consider it sporting.

"But yes, I made a pact with Ashley Winchester. We will have a common goal. I do not know if we will succeed but I suppose if we do not, 'twill be little purpose in worrying about it."

Is that what she wants, she wonders, to rest with Anastasia?

It's so easy to succumb to that line of thinking but when she is in Filgaia...

Heck even while she's in Lunar. All she can think about is how much more fun it would be if she were here.

How many adventures they had left unfinished. They may have shared their 'deaths' together, but in moments like these...what about their 'lives' together?

Kamui didn't get to do so many things with her.

"What do you remember?"She asks, distracted by this line of thinkingg.

<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

"I just remember... fighting."

(BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7rsTuDcjDU )

"Fighting... and fighting. Endless waves of... Mavericks. Telling myself that it'll be okay... so long as I'm giving you time to do what you need to do," Kamui whispers.

"But since you and Ana disappeared... I was fighting alone against an uncountable number for so long... so painful and so sad. I didn't understand how long I had to fight. Even when I was woken up, by other humans, by other people seeking a legacy of the past..."

A longer pause.

"But the hardest part was when I discovered I no longer cared about fighting my enemies."

She places a hand to Guts-Dozer as she looks up to it. Then down again.

"So when Varius... ... ..."

She hesitates. Something strains inside of her. The chest gem glows gently.

"... no, nevermind ... not yet."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Mm. Don't push yourself." Marivel suggests.

She listens to Kamui talk about one of the darkest elements of her past. She is at a loss for a bit--obviously Marivel herself would never have made her fight so much. Marivel was not gone long objectively speaking. By her own timeline, thousands of years had passed, but for the world it was scarcely any time at all.

But it was the apocalypse after all. Marivel had to protect the land itself, fight for the future. Even if she was on Filgaia, she lost precious time with friends and loved ones she would never get back.

She had to help people. Some of them even deserved it.

But that flashback is for another time.

Marivel noods her head slowly. "You were not made to fight. Yes, Lumen had her dreams for you but--"

She trails off.

"No, no. Tis best if you hear it from herself. She left those messages for you for a reason, after all."

She gives Kamui another hug-squoz before pulling away.

"Do you care about fighting your enemies now?" She asks.

<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

Kamui is silent for a longer moment through that comforting hug-squoz. Squozzy Bee is the most dangerous Maverick she's ever had to fight, because his power of squoz was tough to overcome with how comfortable he was.

"... if I did not care ... I wouldn't feel so upset about that Seraph and her angry words."

She lowers her head further.

"If I did not care... I wouldn't feel so much guilt over what I did... to Varius..."

And lower.

"If I did not care... I wouldn't feel so scared... about why I think about Mavericks when I think about Ashley from the bakery now... ..."

She sniffles further, hugging towards Marivel.

"So yes... I do care..."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Whatever happened to Squozzy Bee??

"Then I'm proud of you," Marivel says. "Caring about your enemies even though you had lost that once--that means you regained what you had lost. Something that you find precious, still." She opens up her pouch and starts rifling through it but is stalled once Kamui hugs her again. she smiles quiely and leans in once more. "You know, if you feel bad about what you did to Varius, you should apologize to him. That's what a gutsy girl would do. There's nothing scarier than apologizing, after all!"

She rests a hand on Kamui's shoulder then and adds, "Ashley is a good man. He has people waiting for him too. I won't let him lose sight of that."

Her smile widens, showing some fang. "Remember, he summoned the power of Knight Glazer to protect us, after all!"

That isn't what Ashley called it but Marivel, well, she has her personality.

"And some time in the future, I will share a little more. Once I can."

<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

Kamui quietly nods, closing her eyes. Caring about her enemies... it's something important that she can't let go of, ever again. "I will... maybe once I remember... exactly what it is. Maybe he doesn't remember either."

A frown. Memory is a tricky thing.

"I'm part of that, as the Meria Boule Irregulars!" Kamui exclaims. "And as a bakery patrons! I won't... I won't let him forget either."

She sags... but then perks up as she says:

"I want a sticker, mui...."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel says, "Meria Boule Irregulars! Wwell well...! I will hold you to that, Kamui!"

She reaches back into her pouch and says, "Hmmmm... I don't know... Have you earned a sticker today, Kamui? I think I remember you using bad language during the battle. Hmmmmmmm...."

She then winks, "Oh alright. You've earned this one, I think!"

She draws out a sticker of a pair of BATTONS hanging upside down wearing toque blanches on their head!

And the words: BAKING BUDDIES.

"I suspect you knew this one was coming, to come out and ask for one so brazenly...!"

<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.

"Batton Bat...!" Kamui exclaims excitedly. "I haven't seen one in so long..."

A pause, as she starts sweating. "I--I didn't use bad language! She was being really really mean to me! B-but I did call her... 'lame'..."

She sniffles.

"I'm sorry Mari!!"

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Aww! It's okay." Marivel hugs Kamui again. "It's okay to trash talk a little when someone is being mean. Defending yourself is important! Just don't get carried away like I do."

MARIVEL ARMITAGE: TOTAL HYPOCRITE.