2019-09-28: Guilt Allayed

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  • Log: Guilt Allayed
  • Cast: Pearl, Ivan
  • Where: The Thunder Plains
  • Date: 28/09/2019
  • Summary: Pearl and Ivan meet again after the ill-fated attempt to kill Seymour Guado. Ivan provides a meal. Pearl is unusually candid.

<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.

    Guadosalam, for many, is the last sign of civilisation on a trip. The last true city in Spira. Certainly people live beyond the woods of Macalania, but they tend to be outcasts. And most who aren't summoners have little reason to travel beyond the city.

    It's a different story for those who, say, escaped a lockdown of the city, killing several guards in the process. There's too many people on high alert, even this long after the attack. And in terms of supplies, well, there's only so much you can steal from the Travel Agency without people starting to notice. And there's no eating on a fiend that dissolves into pyreflies.

    Guardswoman Pearl of Althena's Guard looks at the aftermath of a battle that, once again, cost more energy than she can reliably get back. She hasn't eaten in four, five days maybe. She seems even shorter on sleep, with nowhere to truly safely rest being a place she doesn't want to risk showing her face. She looks tired and ragged. She knows that the Guard's crusade will not stop at Luca. She just has to hold on until they make their way here. From what she's seen, it seems almost inevitable.

<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.

It's been a few weeks since Ivan left the Guard. He's trying to start a new life ... a better life! A life with cool things in it, where he's totally free!

But... he also still needs money. Which is why he has frequently found himself on the road, either lending a hand to the Caravan Kinship or trying to find his own odd jobs, often providing bodyguarding services to keep people safe during travel.

He's recently finished one such trip, a journey across the thunder plains, and is contemplating where to head next when he stumbles across the last person he expects to see -- a half-starved Pearl.

His eyes go wide, and he stares at her like he's seeing a ghost, because -- isn't he seeing a ghost?! Didn't she die in the battle against Seymour and it was all his fault for not being able to carry his own weight in the fight!?

"Pearl?!" he says. "You're alive?!"

He has momentarily forgotten he's an outlaw in poor standing with the Guard who is pretending to be a guy named Vlad.

<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.

    There are times you don't expect to see a friendly face, and this is quite frankly one of them. When her name is shouted out, she turns, half expecting trouble. Enemies, perhaps guards from Guadosalam. As Ivan asks the question of whether Pearl is alive or not, lightning strikes the ground and thunder rolls out, because perhaps nature has a sense of humour.

    "Guardsman Ivan?" She asks, eyes widening in surprise. Memories run through her head, where did she see him last, what was he doing, what was SHE doing? The reminder that last time he saw her she was ostensibly dead is a handy one. She smiles faintly, if perhaps a little hollow. "It is... good to see you." She doesn't answer the question immediately, though. Instead she falls to one knee, exhaustion appearing to set in at just this moment, appearing to lose balance. "My apologies. Escaping took more than I thought." This is a true statement, at least.

    Pearl starts to push herself up off the ground, but seems to be struggling a bit. Her whole body seems shaky, and slightly woozy. It's a wonder she managed this long.

<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.

Ivan jumps ever so slightly as thunder crashes down -- he's taken a few too many direct hits out here for his liking. They're pretty close to the edge of it, though, so it ought to be safe... ish? Maybe not.

"Did you desert the Guard too?" Ivan unwisely asks her, which would have probably spared her a lot of mental calculus if only he'd led with that instead of asking if she was dead. She 'died' and now appears to be on the run, though, so that's where his mind goes with that. The other fork is 'she DID die and she's a Seraph,' but she looks too run down and bedraggled to be a ghost.

There is no fork for her being a secret assassin who fought him in a disguise a while back, so he doesn't worry himself with any possibilities like that.

Pearl partly collapses, and he moves closer to her to offer a hand.

"Are you all right? Have you been out on your own in hiding all this time?"

At this rate maybe she just has to sit back and he'll feed her a whole story she can give him...

<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.

    "Desert?" She asks, staring a bit at Ivan as he provides details it is unwise to provide. "What do you mean?" It's almost like she is trying to give Ivan an easy out so he can say she misheard him. As Ivan approaches, Pearl tenses up, ever so slightly, barely perceptibly. Something seems to run through her brain at this exact moment he closes in. But she does not act on it, letting Ivan close in and assist her.

    "I was... captured. I am not sure for how long." She says, finally, and sounding quite ashamed of it. She looks at the ground, not speaking for a few moments. Ivan's second question snaps her out of it.

    "Yes. I managed to escape my captors, but I could not find a way back towards Kilika." She looks back up again, and at Ivan. "I have been trying to survive here since, but it is... difficult. Harder than living from the land in Horam." She's done the survivalist thing before, trained by wolves and all, at least so she claims. "I am glad to see a friendly face."

<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.

Ivan blinks. "Captured--...oh, that makes sense, too, I didn't think of that. Nevermind about that other thing I said." It's unclear if he genuinely expects her to believe him or just isn't too worried about her trying to apprehend him in her weakened state. "I got thrown into the ocean, so I didn't see..."

His shoulders slump a bit.

"I'm sorry about what happened -- I know you took a hit for me. It might be my fault you were hurt badly enough they were able to capture you. ... ...wow, but you're alive, though!" He takes a moment to just be... relieved, by it. They didn't know one another well, but it was weighing on him.

Though, from the looks of her, she's only barely still alive.

"Do you need something to eat? I have a bit of travel food, still.." he rummages through his bag to see what he's got on hand, and procures some dried fruits and hard cheese.

<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.

    "...I see." Pearl evidently chooses not to probe. It's probably safer for them both that way. Still, she blinks a bit at Ivan. She stares, ever so briefly. "It was the tactically sound option. You were in a better position to fight than I was." Is that meant to... alleviate guilt? It's a weird way of doing that.

    "Thank you. I am not used to people caring whether I lived or died." She then catches what she said, and her eyes widen a bit. Has she just said too much? Would that be enough to give anything away? She had told Ivan that her childhood was rough.

    And then the offer of food comes, and Pearl eyes the fruits hungrily. That hunger is definitely real. "If it is not too much trouble..." She says, but then takes some of the fruit before she actually gives Ivan a chance to respond. The thought was there, at least. She eats quickly and quietly, but there is a certain ravenous quality to it.

    It's easy to see that something is slightly different about Pearl. More talkative than last time. Smiling, occasionally. It seems off, somehow.

<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.

"I still didn't manage to finish him off, even with the help..." Ivan still regrets the loss like it's a test of his mettle that he failed, even though he's not sure he still believes that assassinating a Yevonite authority figure in the hopes of quickly ending the war and giving the Guard unchallenged dominion over Spira would have been a... super great move.

That said, choosing the 'right thing to do' in this conflict is absolutely not less daunting now that he's free. He worries a bit that without the Guard to follow, he's just going to blindly go along with what the Caravan Kinship thinks is right, now. But at least they talk through what they think is right... That's got to be a step up, hasn't it?

I am not used to people caring whether I lived or died.

It doesn't give anything away, but it does strike him as a surprisingly raw admission. It must have been hard to be behind enemy lines not knowing if anyone cared she'd been taken. Maybe the whole harrowing experience brought it to the fore for her.

"I didn't realize you felt like that. I bet a lot of your comrades will be really glad to see you again."

He offers the fruit readily, and will hand her the cheese, as well, if she doesn't actively turn it away.

<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.

    "It is a failing for both of us, then. Do not dwell on it." Pearl doesn't linger on it overlong. It seems that Pearl isn't going to pass up any food when it's offered, but she goes for the cheese last. But she downs it quickly, and looks at least a little better for the food. "...Perhaps." She says, unsure. It's hard to get past long ingrained beliefs. "I assume I will be reprimanded for my failure." Again, she shares perhaps more than she intended.

    She looks baack up at Ivan. "Why are you here, Ivan? Have the Guard made their way this far in?" She knows the answer, to some degree, but she can see how long Ivan is going to play along. But she doesn't know exactly where they are- perhaps she can get a useful answer this way.

    She realises she has eaten, well, everything. "I will repay you for this." She says, and gives a small bow to Ivan. "Your assistance is much appreciated."

<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.

"I'll... try," Ivan says doubtfully, at Pearl's suggestion not to dwell on their failed battle. He suspects he'll go on revisiting that one in his mind for a while regardless.

She then asks what he's doing here, and whether the Guard has made it this far north. He considers his answer for a bit.

"No, they're not here yet. They might be up this way soon, though. I'm not keeping very close tabs on them anymore, since I actually did desert..." For whatever reason, he's back to honesty. Maybe something about her sounding like she didn't feel genuinely connected to anyone at the Guard struck a chord with him. And coming back from the dead and all. He didn't feel like answering it with lies... and she's not super threatening right now, though she could always surprise him.

"Or rather, I think I was kicked out for turning on my employer. My employer did deserve it, though."

Somewhere in there -- possibly before he idly mentioned being an enemy of the Guard -- she offers to repay him. "If you want," he says with a shrug, mostly just because he knows he'd be pretty intent on repaying if the situations were reversed. He doesn't plan on calling in a debt of fruit and cheese, though.

<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.

    Pearl takes a few moments to respond, mulling over the situation. "...I see." She says, finally. The two of them have been surprisingly candid with each other. A part of her is envious, being able to retaliate against the man who held the chains that bound him. Would that she could do the same so easily. "That sounds like a personal dispute between you and your former employer." She says. "I see no reason to get involved with a business matter." There are things she could infer there, and things she knows that she shouldn't, but this is not the time to reveal that.

    "I will be alright from here, Ivan." She says, even if she isn't exactly in the best of shape. "I must return to the Guard. That is my place, at this time." Not her decision, but her place. Those were the orders she has. "Thank you, again." And then, perhaps more strangely. "I hope you are able to resolve things with your previous employer once and for all."

    Oh how she wishes she could do the same.

<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.

Pearl tells Ivan she doesn't want to get involved in the 'business matter' of his dispute with his employer, and he actually grins at her, recklessly happy that the gamble of being honest came out for the best. Little does he know the honesty is a bit one sided. Though it's true she's made a few more personal admissions than perhaps even she herself expected.

I will be alright from here, Ivan.

"Are you sure? I can probably accompany you for a bit if it helps, just not -- yeah, not quite all the way back to the Guard, probably."

She wishes him well in resolving things with his employer. It is a bit strange, almost like she somehow guessed the whole thing... but Ivan is a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. His smile turns rueful.

"It's probably for the best if that... takes a while to resolve, but yeah, who knows, maybe it'll turn out all right."

<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.

    The offer is, perhaps, a touch surprising. Why would he risk himself being captured by travelling with her? Perhaps it is merely that exuberance. Pearl shakes her head. "Thank you, but no. I have taken advantage of enough of your generosity already." The unspoken part is that it's easier to sneak through as one then it is as two. She has knowledge she was missing, now. Perhaps she could make it through Guadosalam after all, or find an alternate route.
    Or perhaps the battlefield will come closer to her than she initially suspects. A lot can happen in the course of the days to come. Pearl starts walking, and gives a somewhat stilted wave to Ivan. The direction is away from Guadosalam, for the moment.

    When she is out of sight, she stops. Should she have said so much? Should he? She shakes her head. For the moment, it doesn't matter. She has other priorities now.