2019-12-12: You Will Shine Brightly One Day
- Log: You Will Shine Brightly One Day
- Cast: Xantia, Seraph Clarine
- Where: Meria City - Outer Regions
- Date: December 12, 2019
- Summary: In a rush to gain new power, Xantia seeks out Clarine for an attempt at possession, attempting to speed along her understanding of the Light element. Things don't quite work out as planned.
=======================<* Meria City - Outer Regions *>======================= Outside the inner wall that contains the oldest parts of Meria City and the main castle itself is a newer city, the result of growth over the centuries well beyond the original parameters of the settlement. With Meria's good fortune in terms of natural resources, the city proper does not need to be terribly crowded, and so it doesn't compare in terms of sheer scale to the more compact metropolis of Guild Galad. Nevertheless there are a lot of people here, and that means inns, shops, businesses, and beyond the outer walls, farmland for miles. The port is active, carrying goods from the northen regions as well as the ore from its mines, and bringing in goods from the south. Meria City has relatively wide streets, but there are few gas-powered vehicles on them, considered to be largely reserved for the military. The buildings themselves tend to cluster together, sprawling slowly over time. The atmosphere here is often reserved, and quite proud. It is known among other things for a fine collection of teas brought in from around the world. BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj2d8U-CO9E
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It's a day like any other in Meria. Many travelers passing through. Shopkeepers and market stalls doing their business. A young red-haired woman wearing armor asking around about a Seraph. ...Wait a second.
Actually it's getting to be a sight that belongs within the descriptor 'like any other', at the rate this is going. This is Xantia's third straight day of going around the city asking random people whether they've seen a Seraph of Light, and adding Clarine's name to the mix if she gets anything that isn't an outright 'no'. Despite being perfectly aware that being able to see Seraphs at all isn't nearly as common on Filgaia as it was in Spira. Evidently this isn't stopping her.
It fits Xantia's idiom to do this sort of thing, really, but doing the same thing for three days straight, without any solid results to show for it on day one and day two, that's how you can tell that she feels what she's doing is extremely important. Even though Clarine having managed to even get back to Filgaia at all is still an assumption on her part, she doesn't know that for a fact. She just... really, really needs to talk to Clarine, and the general area where ARMs is known to operate is the best lead that she has to go on.
She's still in the middle of asking random passers-by on the main road towards inner Meria at the moment. Perhaps soon she'll do another round of the shops - they may be getting a little sick of the same question every day, but that won't deter Xantia. Clarine could have visited one of the yesterday, she's got to make sure! She's certainly not about to give up. That way, she's bound to succeed at finding who she's looking for eventually!
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
It really is just a matter of poor timing that Xantia hasn't run across Clarine yet. She was a frequent visitor to Meria City - her friends Kamui and Acacia lived here, and she often stayed with them when she wasn't out adventuring or doing work for ARMS.
But, she's been away these past few days, and arrives today to find many people mumbling her name. That's...just a tad bit Concerning, considering most mortals were unaware of her presence. It's with some trepidation that she continues into the city, but as she does the story begins to become a bit more clear.
She soon learns exactly who's responsible and, well...she can't really hold it against her. That Xantia would spend three whole days trying to find her...it was touching, in a way. And, it seemed that she was still in town. And so, she soon begins to track her down - soon enough, trailing behind her.
"Xantia...it is good to see you are well." Clarine greets. "You wished to see me...?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia, of course, is completely oblivious to having created any kind of a concerning situation. Moreover, she has a different frame of reference - if it was her, she'd be pleased to hear her name being whispered by so many people. It can't hurt when you want to figure out who you once were. As bleak as the odds may seem at this point that there's anyone alive who's known her since before the point her memories begin.
Either way, her mood is hard to bring down when out of nowhere she suddenly hears Clarine's voice behind her. Whirling about, she smiles brightly as she returns the greeting, "Clarine! Hi! Wow, you found me! And you knew I was looking for you? Is that also a Seraph power? That's amazing!" The sad thing is that she's completely serious. Unsurprisingly, any potential side-effects of her 'plan' where not taken into account at all.
What also shouldn't be much of a surprise at this point is that she doesn't hesitate to make a grab for Clarine's hand, in order to pull her along to a place that she wants to go. "Come on, come on! Let's get away from all the people, we need space!" Non-surprise number three: Xantia not immediately explaining herself as she does this.
If allowed to lead as she pleases, she does the exact thing she said she would: head out of the city proper, away from all the people, off the main path, and into the farmlands. This is why she can't answer if asked when they're going: she has absolutely no idea. It doesn't matter to her as as it fits those criteria of 'an empty, spacious place'.
It's easy enough to find a mostly barren field close by, what with harvest season already over. Unless an objection happened sooner, this is where the short trek ends, and Xantia lets go of Clarine's hand. "O-kay!"
And that's when the bright mood abruptly shifts to a more serious one, with Xantia expressing, "...We've got to try this whole possession thing. Things have changed, I can't wait for Light to happen on its own anymore. I need this power, now. Will you help me?"
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
Clarine returns Xantia's smile with one of her own.
"Ah...I am good at finding people, but it is not a Seraph power in particular, no... I, ah, overheard the townsfolk...talking about you." She says. She's just a little startled when Xantia suddenly grabs her hand.
"A-ah... wait, slow down a little..." Clarine urges as they run - well, more like Xantia runs, and Clarine glides behind her - but she doesn't protest too strongly.
She...has no idea where they're actually going, and has the vague idea that Xantia doesn't, either. But they do stop eventually - in an empty field, with no one else around. Clarine has to take a moment to catch her breath. Figuratively, that is, since she doesn't actually need to breathe.
She looks up, then, noting the serious look on her face - and, her serious tone. Clarine studies her, going quiet.
"...I see. So...it is a matter of great urgency, then." Clarine observes. She hesitates for a moment. "...I cannot promise this will allow you to harness it right away - or even at all. But...if you are certain that this is what you wish to do, then I will do my best to facilitate it."
She takes a moment to glide around Xantia.
"I cannot explain what possession feels like to the one subject to it. And, I have never possessed a mortal before. So, this may be a learning experience for both of us." She says, then sets down in front of her once more.
"...However, there are two things I would like to assure you of. The first, is that you will remain fully in control. I will guide your movements, but I will not control them." She explains. "It is possible for a Seraph of sufficient strength to completely overtake their vessel, but I have no desire to do so. However, it may be prudent to be aware of this possibility in the future, so I warn you now."
She waits for this to set in before continuing.
"The second, is that if you ever become uncomfortable, or wish to stop for any reason, then you need only let me know, and we shall cease immediately." She says. "Please do not try to force yourself."
She waits a moment longer, and then nods.
"When you are ready... we shall begin."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia never does slow down a very noticeable amount. Whatever's going on to make her act this way, it's made her even more impatient than she already typically is. ...Of course, she has been at this for literally days, which has been a supreme exercise in patience already. It's not particularly strange for her patience to have grown particularly thin by now.
Of course, there's no actual plan involved beyond this. Xantia indeed has no idea where exactly she was heading from there, she headed for the first spot that looks good for something like... possession. Knowing as little as she does about it, 'better not do it with tons of people around' was about as far as that train of thought reached.
And now, here they are. Xantia quickly made it obvious how important this has become for her. Yet still, she looks surprised at how readily Clarine agrees to do this. Certainly, they'd talked it over before, but even so, she was expecting there might be questions about suddenly moving things into high gear like this. Well, that does make things simpler.
She nods several times throughout the explanation. "I realize that," she notes when told that this may not work the way she hopes. It's only a quiet nod to the notion of this being a learning experience. Still not 100 percent comfortable about the whole idea. A firm nod to being told she will remain in control, no hesitation in the claim, "I know. I trust you."
Then the assurance that she can stop this whenever she wants, and, strangely, now Xantia starts to actually look uncomfortable. It's not about the possession itself, not really. She feels guilty. And so, rather than give the signal to begin right away, she rubs the back of her head.
"Ah... I feel bad now. You're all ready to help me, and I haven't even told you the truth about this. Or, well... it's not a lie, this really is important. But, it still feels a bit like lying if I don't tell you what I need this power for first."
She pauses, and brings a hand to her chin, thinking about how to best explain this. Then she shrugs, and just casually says, "I'm going to fight the Demon of Elru." Which might be enough of a bombshell without the addition, "Again."
Xantia looks at her right hand as she balls it into a first. "...This time, I have to beat him. Or at least surprise him with how much stronger I've gotten. If I can't make him understand that..." She trails off, unsure herself of how she would finish that sentence.
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
The immediate belief in her does take Clarine a bit by surprise. As for the reason why... Clarine had wondered, certainly. But, she isn't really the type to pry - she has plenty of friends with their own secrets they need to keep. She had a feeling Xantia would tell her when she was ready.
And, indeed, Xantia does. Clarine pauses, listening quietly. Xantia says she's going to fight the Demon of Elru. Clarine frowns, just slightly.
"Admittedly... I do not know who this 'Demon of Elru' is. With the exception of ARMS and Odessa, I am not very well-versed in the matters of the Blue Star as of yet... However, I can tell the matter is very important to you." Clarine replies. There was something about how seriously she spoke on the matter.
"You want to show him how strong you have become. You want to make him understand." Clarine repeats. "...I can sympathise with that feeling, perhaps. I, too, have those I wish to prove myself to..."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It's Xantia's turn to be surprised, she was expecting Clarine to at least have heard of the Demon of Elru. Or not even really Clarine in particular, she'd just gotten used to pretty much everybody knowing tales of the Demon of Elru, accurate or otherwise. Only now does she start to consider that the circumstances that Clarine found herself in add up to making it actually pretty likely that such a thing could have simply never come up.
"Oh... sorry. It's just... to most people, he's a monster, a destroyer, someone who could and would wipe out most of a continent without even blinking. And he'd agree with that." This is still probably way too casual when it's about somebody you just you're planning to fight, but of course Xantia doesn't pay attention to such things. Doubly so because things are different from her perspective. "But to me, he's..."
She pauses, looking down as she struggles to find the proper way to express this. She decides to start over, in a softer tone. "...It's not right. I don't care if nobody else thinks so, he deserves to be happy too." She locks eyes with Clarine again, determined. "He'll never listen to me unless I make him. I have to do it. If I don't..."
There's a lot of ways in which she could see it being bad for the world at large if Id were to go back to the way he was a few years ago. But in the end, all of that feels like it matters less than, "If I don't... I feel like I'll lose the only one who really understands me."
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
A monster. A destroyer. Clarine frowns a little, but there's sympathy in her eyes. She can...kind of understand that. She was friends with Ragnell, after all. Someone who had, along with K.K., tried to infect the Guardian of Love herself with Malevolence - something that would have likely spelled the end for Filgaia.
Clarine didn't understand why Ragnell was helping them. But she still wanted to believe in Ragnell, even if it meant fighting her. So, in a way, that gives her a little perspective on Xantia's own feelings toward the Demon of Elru.
"...I see." Clarine murmurs with a nod. "You wish to get through to him in a way you can both easily understand."
She nods as Xantia continues, explaining how she'd lose the only who truly understood her.
"...I cannot begin to imagine the nature of the bond you two share. However... if you believe that learning how to harness the Light will help give you the edge you need... then I will gladly do what I can to help." Clarine decides with a nod. "...Thank you, Xantia, for sharing. I can see now that this is a deeply personal matter for you...
That explained why, then, that it became so urgent. It was no longer just a matter of becoming stronger, but holding onto someone important... Clarine could sympathise with that.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It's a pretty apt parallel. Xantia's own friendship with Ragnell hasn't suffered in any meaningful way by the whole betrayal thing and having to fight her, either. Her views where it comes to these things can seem strange, perhaps contradictory at times, but, well. They make sense to her. It's the best she could explain herself.
Still, she can't help but be a little self-conscious when Clarine correctly judges that this is the easiest way for people like her and Id to reach an understanding. "...It's weird, right? Fighting someone to understand them better? ...To understand myself better? It doesn't work like that for most people. But, that's how it works for me."
Xantia couldn't begin to identify what the bond between her and Id is exactly either, so Clarine is not alone there. All she knows is how much she values it, and how much she doesn't want to lose it. As notable as some of the things she recently recalled are, none of it feels as important as this does.
It also felt important to make sure Clarine understands that, and indeed it's like a weight was lifted from her shoulders after saying it all out loud. "I'm glad it makes sense to you, you know, sort of. It feels selfish, but, if you can and will help me do this... then please do."
With that, Xantia spreads out her feet a little and holds her arms to the side, looking a bit as if she's asking for a hug. "...Is this right? I don't know how I should stand for this..." She's still visibly nervous about the notion of being possessed, even if it's not the full losing control of yourself kind. She may never have resorted to it if the circumstances were different. But, things being as they are...
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
"Hm... It is...different, yes, but I would not call it 'weird'." Clarine replies, shaking her head. "You simply have your own unique way of expressing yourself, and learning to understand others. There is no shame in that."
She smiles, then, as Xantia says it feels selfish.
"There is nothing wrong with being a bit selfish now and then, particularly when a matter is so important to you." She replies, and then chuckles a little as Xantia gets into a stance.
"It is alright. You do not need to stand in any specific manner. I would suggest, however, that you hold still for a moment." Clarine says. And then, she shuts her eyes. It isn't long before something happens - Clarine's body disperses into motes of light that soon settle over Xantia.
Her presence is felt almost immediately. The Seraph normally emits a kind, encouraging aura, like stepping out into a pleasantly warm day. That aura suffuses Xantia's body now, and it will feel as if Clarine is right there with her.
"Ah... I think that went well. Can you still hear me...?" Clarine asks. "Do not be alarmed... I am yet right here with you."
The voice seems to emit from Xantia herself. It might be a strange sensation at first - not that anything about this is normal.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Different, rather than weird. Xantia smiles, though averting her eyes for a moment. "That's a nice way of putting it. It's just that... sometimes I wish I was less unique." Another thing she could talk about at length, or how she kind of feels that she's selfish a bit too often, but she keeps it at that, this time. Right now, she occupies herself with an attempt to mentally prepare herself, as difficult as that is when you have no solid idea of what's going to happen.
"...Okay," she responds simply when told her stance isn't necessary. She holds it anyway. Clarine said to hold still, so she's holding still in the exact way she was standing, without relaxing. She probably couldn't entirely relax if she tried, anyway. She sucks in a breath and subconsciously holds it when Clarine seems to vanish, and she is bathed in light.
The strangely warm, pleasant feeling is only dimly felt as Xantia tries to make sense of the peculiar sensation of another presence, which is there no matter where she looks, yet never visible. She has only just begun to adjust to this when she hears Clarine, from inside of herself. Which, true, means that it went well. But the way this parses at first is... not well at all.
"Ahhhh!" Xantia literally jumps, then looks about in confusion before this new reality starts to sink in. "Y-you're really in here...?" She runs a hand over her chest, then her stomach, then her arm... she slowly rubs her hands together, trying to parse this whole 'I'm myself, but also someone else is here' situation. As quickly as she adjusts to most things, this may take a bit more time.
"So... I can talk to you, even though you're not here, except you actually are here, just not here here, you're wherever my 'here' is," she succinctly summarizes the situation. She laughs a bit, nervously. "I wonder if this is how Fei feels all the time..." Perhaps less of a pleasantly warm and more of a burning sensation, she guesses.
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
"I can understand how it might...complicate matters..." Clarine murmurs. It's not a matter she can truly comment on, the subject of uniqueness.
And thus, the process begins. There's a tinge of worry and concern from Clarine as Xantia jumps.
"I-I am sorry, it was not my intention to startle you..." She murmurs apologetically. "But...yes, I am here."
Clarine goes quiet as Xantia summarizes the situation in her own way. She...is just a tad confused by that, and it takes her a second to follow.
"...Ah, yes... That sounds about correct..." She confirms. Fei... Clarine knows him, but she's not sure how he relates to the situation.
She's really missed the memo!
"I would not know..." She admits.
"Would...you like to get started...?" She asks.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
After tentatively feeling things out, it's only natural what Xantia would try next. Move a bit more energetically, throw a few punches. Nothing too fancy, just trying to get a handle on this sensation in a combat situation. The most important thing to be prepared for, when you're hoping to weaponize an aspect of this. Now that the initial surprise has passed, she instead starts to have different concerns.
"...Is it okay when I do this? I can't end up... shaking you out or anything, right?" Once she starts wondering about things like this, it's only a matter of time before Xantia's mind wanders further. In this case, it's immediate. "You don't feel sick or anything, do you? Like, motion sickness, that thing some people get when they're in something that moves? Or... huh, do you still feel, at all? This is so confusing."
Xantia is in danger of getting lost in her own mental webs, when the question of 'getting started' comes up. She actually needs a moment to figure out what that means, canting her head before abruptly raising a finger. "Oh yeah! We have to... do a thing." The finger bends slightly. "...What do we need to do? I mean, I know what I want to do, but how do I use... what you do to..." She trails off, then rubs her head with both hands. "You know what I mean! I hope."
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
Xantia moves about, getting a handle for moving in a combat situation under Clarine's possession.
"Do not fear - I am still perfectly fine." She replies...and then pauses for a moment, as she inquires further. "It is...difficult to explain. I am not physically present - I can not feel anything. I can see, and I can hear, but that is the limit. I am here, as a spiritual presence within you."
"Perhaps a Seraph more experienced in possessions would be able to learn to feel through their host... but, I do not know for certain." She adds.
She listens, then, as Xantia responds to the question of getting starting.
"I understand, yes." She replies. "Let me see... Hm, how best to explain it..."
This is followed by some quiet muttering.
"Hold your hands out in front of you, as if you are holding something." She says. "We will begin with the most basic expression of light. I will go first to demonstrate. Focus on the sensation as it happens - try to grasp it, and understand it... and then, try to do the same."
Once Xantia is ready, Clarine focuses. It's a difficult sensation to describe, and she feels it as it happens - it is as if the light itself is being manipulated, willed to move. This all happens in but a moment, the warmth and light shifting and concentrating until, finally, coalescing into a sphere of light in Xantia's hands. It is faint, but it illuminates the area around them.
"Do not try to reach the same level intensity. Go at your preferred pace." She says, and the sphere disappears. "Now, it is your turn. Do not worry if you do not get it correctly the first time - or even the first few times. The light will go where it will, and must be coaxed."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
The more Xantia thinks about it, the stranger all this becomes. Clearly the solution is not to think about it, usually not a particularly difficult task for her. But this is just too... different. It's hard to put a mind that exists next to your mind out of your mind.
"I... I see," she somewhat struggles to respond, her mind going on another field trip trying to parse the exact nature of Clarine's current existence. She rarely encounters things this difficult to take in stride.
Perhaps it's because of Xantia's befuddled mental state, but the sensation of possessing her body may have shifted somewhat, from Clarine's perspective. It's subtle, and there's no clearly identifiable source, but it's there - a slight sensation of passive resistance. It isn't threatening, easily ignored, but difficult not to perceive.
Xantia herself is none the wiser, simply following Clarine's instructions. Everything is easier when you have clear directions. And when you don't really have to do anything yourself yet. She tries her best to focus on the sensation of 'light happening'. It does kind of feel like something about it clicks that wouldn't before. Could this indeed be what she was missing...?
"...Okay, I'll try," she responds after the ball created in her hands vanishes. All she has to do is the same as what she felt Clarine do just now. Even though she was told not to go for the same level of intensity right away, she feels like it will go better if she tries to mimic what happened just now exactly. She attempts to concentrate...
...And that's where things go wrong. That sense of resistance from Xantia's body suddenly becomes massive, like a solid wall pushing out from the core of her being. She's managing to bring Light forth from her body, alright. Unfortunately, it happens in the form of violently pushing Clarine out of her body.
As icing on the cake, Xantia doesn't even seem to have realized it. She has her eyes closed, still focusing on trying to make Light happen, which doesn't appear to be working at all. All she's managed to do is make it flat out impossible to even attempt to repossess her at this time. This may count as an accomplishment, of a sort, being able to ward off a possession like that. Just... not what she was trying to achieve, obviously.
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
A feeling of resistance... Clarine can't help but be a little surprised. She hesitates a little - but, she continues with the teaching, though with that sensation at the back of her mind.
The teaching continues...but, Clarine feel it just as it happens, as Xantia tries to mimic exactly what Clarine did.
"A-ah, wait-" She starts - and then, she finds herself ejected from Xantia. The motes of light fly out of Xantia at high speeds, quickly coalescing into Clarine once more. She goes rolling across the ground and lays there for a moment, in a daze.
"A-ah... Th-the world is spinning..." She says. She's quiet for a moment, and then with a wince she rises up off the ground, shaking her head.
"Xantia, are you alright...?" She asks, concerned. "...You...rejected me. That was not quite the intention of the lesson, but it was fairly impressive... To shake off a possession so forcefully is, perhaps, a useful talent to have..."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia apparently didn't notice even the slightest bit of Clarine's plight. Presumably not because she doesn't care, she's just trying really hard to make that light happen. Hard enough for beads of sweat to appear on her forehead. She doesn't even to realize anything is amiss until she hears Clarine addressing her, and it's not the same as before. Not from within anymore, but from without. She frowns a bit, then her eyes fly open at hearing the words 'you rejected me'. "I... what?"
She stares at Clarine for a moment. Then stares at her empty cupped hands. She clearly didn't accomplish what she was trying to do. It takes her a moment to piece together what it is she did manage to do. "I... I did that?"
She doesn't know where to look for a moment, before settling her eyes back on Clarine again. "...Sorry, I, uh, didn't mean to do whatever I just did. I guess... it's probably one of those things that I've always been able to do, I just didn't remember how until now." She frowns, then takes a deep breath. As she lets it out, she can feel it: a profound change in the composition of her body that she can't identify the exact nature of, slowly returning to its original state.
"...Well, I guess that'll help in case Id tries to possess me. As if he could do that to begin with." She grumbles a bit, not satisfied with this outcome even if Clarine called it impressive. "...Sorry, again, I hope I didn't hurt you." Still, it isn't long before a faint smile returns. "But, I guess you're right. Maybe I'll be glad for this later. And I feel like I've learned something about light. So, maybe I'll be able to figure it out from here!"
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Clarine has posed.
"You did." Clarine replies, but it's not accusatory - just stating a fact. She offers her a reassuring smile, then.
"It is okay." She says, shaking her head. She listens as Xantia explains its something she's always been able to do. "I see... Please do not be disheartened."
She notes that frown - she helps it doesn't discourage her too greatly.
She smiles, then, as Xantia says she hopes she didn't hurt her.
"It is alright. I am a little dazed, but otherwise unharmed. Do not fear." She says, and then considers. "Ah, you do...? I hope that is the case. I am glad something came out of this, at least."
Her aura of light soon returns, emitting a pleasant warmth once more.
"I am sure you will shine brightly one day." She says encouragingly.