2020-01-10: The Privilege Of Spiritual Sight

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  • Log: The Privilege Of Spiritual Sight
  • Cast: Seraph Ragnell, Xantia
  • Where: Damzen City - Main Street
  • Date: January 10, 2020
  • Summary: Xantia notices something has changed in the way she perceives Ragnell, leading to informing her Seraph buddy about the events that likely led to that. Surprisingly, even Ragnell shares a significant piece of personal information.

=======================<* Damzen City - Main Street *>========================

The main street of Damzen City is a busy place. Damzen has exploded in growth in recent years, with gold mines and oil fields both found nearby. While not as hodge podge as the city outside the walls, the main street reflects this character: wooden buildings have sprung up one after the other, and only some have recently been replaced by brick.

Compared to more noble sensibilities to the south, Damzen is positively liberal. ARMS meisters operate openly, with stores proudly advertising their wares and services -- though mining equipment, not firearms, is what they tend to service. General stores, taverns, and hotels serve those with the means.

A little beyond Main Street, one can find both old and new houses. Wooden homes are constructed next to the ancient, squat stone structures used by Meria's knights when they brought the region to heel.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj2d8U-CO9E
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        It's a busy day in Damzen City--but then, Ragnell's found since she started hanging out here that most days are busy in Damzen City. It's not the prettiest, neatest, or most organized of places, but there's a certain robust vigor in a city that's only just starting to come into its own. Lyonesse's early days were like that, and it's with a certain air of nostalgia that Ragnell watches people go by from atop the shop sign for one of the many ARMS dealers in town.
        
        Neither the ARMS meister themself nor any of their clientele can see Ragnell, but that's normal for Seraphim. Ragnell doesn't mind it either, after Spira and its whole 'everyone can see Seraphim' thing, which was a little weird. Not necessarily bad, but... weird.
        
        At the moment, one lady with a giant hoop skirt is aggressively haggling with the meister for a discount on bullets. Ragnell watches this particular exchange with mild to moderate interest. Ah, but if only she had a bag of peanuts or popcorn and a nice frosty beer! Alas, you can't have everything in life.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Until recently, Xantia had no idea that this island is kind of a smaller mirror of Ignas, the Filgaian environment that she's most used to. One side that still looks fairly green, and then a big ol' swath of desert covering a great deal of it. She'd been sticking to the greener side, the Meria side, until learning of the desert covering the north end.

For her too, this is kind of nostalgic. Her first clear memories involve a desert landscape. She didn't even know another type of landscape existed until after traveling east for what seemed like forever, wandering into the Adlehyde environs. Even now, she feels most at home in the desert, but she can't feel completely good about it anymore. Not now that she understands the problems of desertification.

Of course, that doesn't stop her from paying a visit to the most notable city of the island's northern half. That too is like old times, visiting new places with no clear goal in mind, just to see what it's like. She's found it to be much like she expected, much like she was hoping for. In a place like this, it doesn't feel like she stands out as much as in more... orderly places.

It's on this first stroll through town, still getting a feel for the place, that she spots a familiar face. So to speak, since she actually approaches from behind, but she doesn't feel like there can be any mistake. She knows who her friends are.

"Heeeeey, Ragneeeell!"

Rarely one who will not be noticed a mile away with how loudly she'll readily give away her presence, there's plenty of time to turn and see Xantia come running, waving enthusiastically. Of course she would, why wouldn't she be happy to see Ragnell?

...wait a minute. Something's off. Xantia realizes that much, though she isn't quite sure what it is. It may not be apparent why exactly, but she sure shows all the signs of someone who was just abruptly surprised by something, having suddenly stopped her approach. She blinks, rubs her eyes, then looks back at Ragnell.

"Wow, what happened to you? You look so..."

Ragnell may have her own ideas about how to best finish that sentence when there's a momentary pause, but as for Xantia, she settles on, "...bright."

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        That's the problem with nostalgia. There's always something problematic about those comforting memories one cherishes so dearly.
        
        But that's not really all that important, is it? Whether it's because of the city's early growth, or because it's in a desert, it's not really what they remember, and so indulging in memories can only go so far. Danzen City is itself, regardless of whatever it reminds them of.
        
        And so, present moment. Cue one energetic redhead, calling the name of someone who is and isn't there. Ragnell looks Xantia's way and gives her a wry half-smile as she leans forward and lifts a gloved hand in greeting. "Hey there, Xan," she drawls, leaning over the meister's sign. The meister themself barely gives Xantia a glance, but when it becomes clear that she's not here for business, they go back to bartering (and losing at it).
        
        But then Xantia slows, goggling as if surprised, and asks Ragnell why she's so bright. Ragnell, not knowing what she's talking about, raises an eyebrow. "Maybe it's the sun?" she suggests, holding out an arm as if she might be able to pool the sunlight in her palm. "Don't know precisely what you mean, though, t'be honest."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

"No, no," Xantia quickly counters, waving her hands emphatically. "The sun doesn't do that to people!" She pauses, then corrects herself, "It doesn't do that to humans. But probably not to Seraphs either? I don't know, but there's been plenty of sun, and I'm sure I've never seen you like this before."

At this point, some of the people in the area are beginning to give the crazy redhead who's talking to nobody strange glances. As usual, Xantia isn't taking any notice of it. Certainly a thing that's happened more often, taking to a Seraph in a public place. Ragnell's seen that happening a few times herself. But if she were to think back to all the previous times she ran into Xantia, she might put together that all those other times had something in common. Xantia was never the first to acknowledge Ragnell's presence. And she's not as oblivious as she can appear sometimes - some of those times, you'd think she would have noticed Ragnell was there before she announced herself.

She sure doesn't seem to have noticed that part of what's unusual herself, though. All she can tell is, "You're all, you know... solid. You always looked a little transparent before. Now you're so clear to me, it's almost like you're glowing."

She lowers her head for a moment, mulling something over in her mind. More doubtfully, she ventures, "If nothing's different about you, then... is it me?" She starts looking herself over, her hands and arms, her legs, even looking over her shoulder at her back. There's nothing visibly different at all, but then, she doesn't even know what she's looking for in the first place.

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        Hey, it's not Ragnell's problem if Xantia gets eyeballed like she's a crazy person. Unless of course she gets attached enough to Xantia that it would upset her if she were, say, dragged into a literal witch trial and burned at the stake HA HA HA but what are the odds of that??
        
        "Hhhhuh," she utters at the redhead's description, tilting her head one way. So solid she's glowing, huh. That's unusual. And interesting. "I think it's jus' you," she continues. "Your Resonance sounds like it's gotten stronger... in a way Resonance usually doesn't?" She rubs her chin, considering this. Then she rocks back, then rolls forward and jumps nimbly off the sign and down to the ground. The sign rocks in her wake, drawing the alarmed attention of its owner. Ragnell couldn't care less, though, and instead asks Xantia, "What kind've antics have you been up to lately that might've made you more sensitive to the spiritual side o' things?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Well it could happen, but it'd probably not be the best way to go about it. Xantia already sets herself on fire on a regular basis.

The word Resonance draws Xantia's attention, if not her immediate understanding. "Resonance... still kind of a weird thing to me. Pretty sure I didn't used to have it, back when I couldn't see you at all, only hear you." Which is already not how Resonance usually works. She's always been unusual in that regard.

Xantia doesn't even blink when Ragnell brings herself down closer to eye level, rubbing her own chin as she tries to think back. "I think that over time, I started seeing you a little bit more clearly. Is that how it's supposed to work? It was never this big a difference though."

She crosses her arms, frowning as she fails to come up with anything super spiritual that she did. Mainly because she doesn't really know what sorts of things count for that. That's why it takes her so long before she arrives at what should have been the obvious thing to come to mind.

"Well, I did do that thing you suggested, with Clarine. You know, that possession thing? But that didn't work, I couldn't make Light happen at all. All that happened when I tried it was Clarine got thrown out of me."

Okay, so just a Seraphic possession that she apparently managed to forcibly terminate under her own power, nothing unusual there.

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        It can be how Resonance works. Not everyone starts with zero Resonance, and having a low to moderate amount can indeed lead to someone being able to hear but not see Seraphim. Of course, that probably wasn't what Xantia had going on in the first place but WHO KNOWS with this wacky redheaded wonder!
        
        "If your spiritual sensitivity increases, then yes. That's what Resonance is, after all," Ragnell replies, folding her arms behind her head. "Basically, you got a li'l bit stronger over time. Or rather, this did," she adds, reaching out and poking Xantia in the boo^h^h^h chest.
        
        It takes a while for Xantia to think of something. That's fine; Ragnell can be patient. She peers around at their surroundings, and notes quite a few suspicious stares Xantia's way. Hmm. But then Xantia comes up with something and explains it, and Ragnell raises her eyebrows at her. "You kicked Clarine out've your own body?" she asks, incredulous. "That's, uh. That's kind of impressive, honestly? And you just... casually... did it?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

It sure is funny how this happened, given that Xantia used to have less Resonance than a rock, and now here she is just flagrantly disregarding the rules. Maybe the trick is to not be aware of the rules in the first place, that technically doesn't make it cheating.

At least some things never change. Such as how easily Xantia misinterprets things that aren't completely spelled out and goes somewhere that doesn't have anything to do with anything. Case in point: getting poked in the chest only prompts her to question, "...My chestplate? Well, I guess this armor is stronger than what I used to wear, that's true." A wonder, indeed.

Either way, she doesn't pay attention to anybody else who happens to be looking in her direction, she's talking to a friend, here. On a topic she wouldn't mind learning more about herself, no less. With the term 'kicking out' being used, Xantia feels the need to defend herself. "I didn't mean to! It was an accident! I must've done something wrong, I have no idea how that happened..."

Somehow it felt more natural that Ragnell would be upset at this, but Xantia settles down when she notes the reaction is more one of surprise instead. "Oh, um. Yeah, I guess. Clarine was surprised too. I don't know, I feel like maybe this is something I've always been able to do, and I just didn't remember." She looks a bit sheepish about it, it doesn't feel especially impressive to her. Just one more weird thing that she can apparently do. You'd think she'd get used to it after a while, but nope, still weird.

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        'My chestplate?'
        
        Ragnell opens her mouth; shuts it. "...Yes," she decides. "Yes, that's exactly it. Sharper'n'a scalpel, you."
        
        Sometimes (often (almost always)), it's just easier to let people be wrong.
        
        "Clarine was okay after all that, right?" Ragnell asks, frowning. She's pretty sure she would be, she doubts Xantia would have done her any harm, but... there's a lot of mysteries in this one, and she doesn't know exactly when this happened. Honestly, if Ragnell is upset about anything, it's the prospect that Clarine might have gotten hurt. Still, she's not mad, or at least isn't until she hears exactly how Clarine is doing.
        
        "Possible. Hard t'know what you're capable of when you've lost your memories," Ragnell concedes, folding her arms. "Still. Hm. If that was somethin' you could always do, that doesn't explain why you're suddenly seein' me... glowing?" She waves a hand in front of Xantia's face. "D'you mean like literally glowin', or...?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Sure is one reason why Xantia continues to be so wrong sometimes. She can make it difficult to figure out where to even begin with correcting her.

"Oh, no, Clarine's fine," Xantia hurriedly clarifies, interpreting this as worry rather than possible anger. "That's what she told me at least, and it's not like she had parts missing or anything like that." Like that one time in Dazil when she absorbed part of Ragnell's body. That could feel pretty awkward if she were thinking back to that right now. But she's more concerned about what might have happened to Clarine right now. "I didn't think anything like that would happen, I never would've asked if I thought it would be dangerous." So she claims, yet as soon as she says that, she lowers her head, having to admit to herself, "But then again, I guess I was a little... desperate."

Instinctively, Xantia swats at the hand that's waved in front of her face, squinting her eyes. "Stop that!" Her momentary pouty face quickly disappears, however. "...Though, that was just kind of annoying, not blinding or anything. I guess it's not glowing glowing, not really. It's just kind of... you have a bit of a brighter outline than regular people do? It's like, it would be easy to tell where you are in a crowd."

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        Ragnell settles a little--her hackles had only been raised a little, after all, so it doesn't take much to go back to relaxed--when Xantia reassures her that Clarine is fine. "Good," she replies, nodding once. The line about parts missing gets a chuckle; Ragnell sure remembers that one time in Dazil. Well, as long as that... strange other side of her didn't come out and hurt Clarine, it's fine. She hadn't thought it would, but... maybe it'd been reckless to recommend her to Clarine after all. Xantia says she didn't mean to hurt her, but Ragnell's sure she didn't mean to flip out and try to kill her and a bunch of her other friends that one time, either.
        
        "Desperate, huh," she muses. She pauses as Xantia swats her hand away. "Hmm, that so." She frowns. A brighter outline than most... She's not sure she likes that. But if anyone has to spontaneously develop a power like that, it may as well be Xantia, who likes her. "Least you'll never get lost 'long as you have a Seraph buddy around," she drawls, switching back to nonchalant as she folds her arms behind her head. "Lucky you, eh?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

If there had been any tension in the air, Xantia failed to notice. She also failed to take into account how wrong things might have gone had she lost control of herself at the worst possible time. It's probably better than still being worried about that every waking moment. But generally speaking Xantia prefers her reckless actions posing no risk to anyone but herself. She might be a little more careful about such things in the future. Then again, she might not, considering what's at stake.

It's hard to tell whether she's doing it on purpose or subconsciously, but she copies Ragnell in folding her arms behind her head. And of course... "It's pretty great!" ...she's taking what was said entirely at face value. And why not? She genuinely doesn't feel like this is a bad thing.

She may have just assumed a leisurely pose, but it doesn't last long. Her hands drop back to her sides as her expression turns serious. "Hey, Ragnell... can I ask you something? You don't have to say anything you don't want to, not that you would, but... there's something I've been curious about."

This being Xantia, this could be about anything from food to fighting. ...food or fighting would be the guesses that make the most sense. The thing she's decided to ask about now is probably not the kind of thing one would expect from her of all people.

"You and K.K.... how did that happen?"

She lets that unspecific question hang there for a second before scratching the back of her head. "I mean... I don't know K.K. like you do, but they seem... difficult to get close to. How do you make someone like that trust you?"

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        Pretty great, huh. You can always count on Xantia to both take things at face value and look on the bright side. Ragnell chuckles, both at her response and the way Xantia mimics her pose.
        
        When Xantia drops her arms, though, Ragnell keeps hers where they are. "Yeah?" she prompts. While it could be anything from food to fighting, the way she prefaces it sounds like it's going to be a personal question--annnnnd there it is. She sure guessed that one. Xantia might be clueless about some things, but she gets Ragnell pretty well to know to say she doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to.
        
        "Me an' K.K., huh." She lets that beat hang until Xantia continues. "I can't answer that question," she replies. "I'd be happy to tell my own tale," (liar) "but it's not my place to tell theirs. An' I couldn't tell you how or why they trust me without tellin' you at least some o' their story. You wouldn't go around gossipin' about your friends behind their backs, would ya? It's the same thing." Is it? Is it, Ragnell??
        
        "But, since you ask so nicely... I'll answer the first question, at least."
        
        Will wonders never cease! Regardless...
        
        "Basically, they stopped me from gettin' myself killed or worse," Ragnell replies, plain and unadorned. "A couple hundred years ago, a great and terrible plague was ravaging Glenwood, up over on the Silver Star. That plague spread Malevolence near an' far, includin' to a place near an' dear to my heart. That Malevolence gave rise to a Fell Dragon, an' the Fell Dragon set that city ablaze. I returned just in time to see it all destroyed, I thought." Her jaw tightens. "...Even though I had no chance o' winning, I attacked. I didn't care if I lived or died; I just wanted to spread the anguish I felt."
        
        "It was K.K. who stopped me. K.K. who kept me from dyin' or worse that day. And after we talked for a while, I decided I'd follow them. To the ends of the earth, if need be."
        
        And then she shrugs. "The end. Satisfied?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia tends to be easy to read. The disappointment is plain to see when Ragnell initially says that she can't answer the question. Even if the reason given makes sense, it's still not what she wanted to hear. ...it also may not be entirely accurate, Xantia can be easily made to gossip about her friends without realizing that's what she's doing. She's pretty bad about keeping secrets.

Ragnell has her full attention when an answer to the first question is offered, though. That's very surprising. Pretty much as soon as she said it, she thought 'if someone asked me that, I would have no idea how to answer', so she'd already mentally dismissed it. But then, if Ragnell is answering it anyway, it's probably going to get misinterpreted, right?

But that isn't what happens. Ragnell is answering the exact question that she had. Exactly the sort of question that she would have figured wouldn't be answered so readily in the first place. But it's a straight answer, sounding not in the least bit insincere. Not that she's great at detecting insincerity, but that's neither here nor there. 'Stunned silence' would be the appropriate description for the state that she finds herself in.

She barely even moves a muscle until asked whether the answer satisfies her. "Oh, yes! I mean... yes, thank you, that was... I wasn't expecting that." Of course she has to state the obvious. Nodding, she adds, "That makes perfect sense to me. I mean, I wouldn't blame you for doing what you want to do to begin with, but... now I understand why you'd want that."

She lets out a chuckle, and shakes her head. "Sorry for getting all serious there. It's just... there's something I have to do, and knowing what happened with you and K.K.... well, it just might help."

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        Well, that's true. But there's a difference between knowingly, wittingly gossiping about your friends and just running your mouth because you're super-friendly and maybe not super-bright. Ragnell is more than happy to take advantage of both. This is also why she tends to keep her secrets to herself. However, her recent experience with Spira and nearly every person she reunited with being surprised to see she was alive taught her that, actually, Drifters are really bad at sharing information. Maybe that's why she's a bit more at ease telling Xantia this than she normally would be. Bad at keeping secrets as she may be, she's probably not going to spread it around anyway.
        
        In any case, she answers, and she answers truthfully. It's not the whole story, but then, she made it clear from the start she wasn't going to say anything that would give K.K.'s secrets away. And so she finishes to the roundness of Xantia's gawking eyes. Ragnell smiles at her response. Now she understands, huh. "No need to apologize. We've all got our serious sides. Someone who lived their entire life bein' silly an' flippant would, actually, be pretty boring." Cotton candy might taste great, but eventually you need to eat something with substance.
        
        She tilts her head in consideration at the rest of what Xantia says though. "Oh really? How so? And what d'you need to do?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

It sure is true that Xantia doesn't usually think to share information unless it's immediately relevant to whatever she or people near her happen to be doing at the time. It's not like she enjoys gossip, it's more that she can get carried away with saying whatever comes to mind when a topic is brought up. She isn't a very good judge of what things people might not want her to share unless she's directly told not to. And even then it's no guarantee.

She isn't immediately sure what to say about people who are never serious being boring. That's another thing she never really thought about. Has she ever met a boring person? She couldn't think of anybody. She then opens her mouth as if to make an 'o' sound, without actually making one, and nods her head. "I guess that's something you start noticing after a while, huh?" That's her conclusion: you need to have more memories than she does to be able to notice things like that. And given what she knows about Seraphs, Ragnell must be an expert, likely having more memories than she'll ever have.

When questioned further about her motivations for asking questions like that, she crosses her arms, her expression turning slightly sour. "There's this guy I know who won't listen to reason. Just keeps trying to push me away. It's not gonna work, but it's frustrating." With a slight shrug, she adds, "I guess it's more of the opposite sort of thing, not following someone who saved me, but someone I think needs saving."

Uncrossing her arms, she takes on a determined pose, making a fist, which promptly bursts into flames for a couple of seconds. "So I'm going to fight him! Again! And this time I have to win, one way or another. That's why I wanted to have Light powers going into that fight, or you know... learn other things that might help me convince him."

Just when it looks like Xantia might have learned to keep certain details under wraps, she just goes ahead and says straight out, "You probably know about him. Id, the Demon of Elru?"

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        Being functionally immortal unless she's killed or Hellionized, Ragnell probably will have more memories than Xantia will ever have! Unless it turns out that Xantia's also immortal, or a robot, or an immortal robot, or something like that. Hey, you never know.
        
        "Mmm, it probably depends on the person. I like people-watchin', so I tend towards being observant," Ragnell replies. "So if someone doesn't have a lot o' depth to them, an' I run out o' things to observe..." She shrugs. "Well, I'm gonna get bored."
        
        Xantia explains her motivations. Ragnell listens. A guy who won't listen to reason, who keeps pushing her away? She raises an eyebrow as she tilts her head, thumbs hooking into the loops of her jeans. "Saving from what, exactly?"
        
        But Xantia's enthusiasm is so intense her fist literally bursts into flames. Ragnell grins and laughs at the sight and at the sentiment. "You know what? Good for you," she says, nodding. "Sorry I can't help ya with those Light powers any, but I hope you beat 'im." Whether he needs to be saved or not--
        
        Oh she's talking about the Demon of Elru, coolcoolcoolcoolcool. Both eyebrows go up this time. "Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard of 'im."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia is very rarely bored, but boring others wouldn't be great. Not having much of an idea on how to measure to the depth of a person herself, Xantia is happy to learn she's apparently not one of the boring people. And she won't have to worry about how not wanting to be boring doesn't really gel with her occasional wish that she could be more like everybody else, because she doesn't see what those two things have to do with each other. Operating on your own type of logic is pretty great like that.

What does stump her for a moment is the question 'saving from what'. That's just the way she feels, she usually just acts on that and doesn't try to explain it any further. Having to put it into words now is tougher than she thought it would be. "I guess... from himself?" She frowns, not feeling like that was a very good answer. "It's hard to explain," she admits. "Just, the things he's told me, I don't feel like he's going to be happy if things don't change."

Having received support from Ragnell before she learned who this was about, Xantia of course fails to pick up on the signals that knowing their identity might have made a difference in that regard. She just continues on speaking with the same level of passion as before. "So then you know why I asked you, right? I feel like it wouldn't be easy to get through to K.K., make them see that things'll be better if you stick with them. But, you kept following them, and it looks like that worked. So, that's what I'm gonna keep doing too! If there's anything else you can tell me that might make it work faster that'd be great, but it's bound to work eventually!"

Xantia's optimism truly knows no bounds. Her patience does, however - she's been trying for so long it's hard to overstate her frustration. And now that she's started talking about it, she's going to air some of that, adding sweeping handmotions to her speech as she goes along.

"Can you believe that he still doesn't think I can handle being around him? I mean, come on, do I look like someone who dies easily? I've lost count of how many times people told me I could've died doing a thing, but by now I'm pretty sure - it takes more to kill me than it takes to kill most people. I think K.K. might have actually killed me back in the Guardian Temple, and I still got up again. So what's the problem? Am I not the best person to be around if you're worried about losing people important to you?"

Yeah, this is... this is pretty important to her, that much is obvious.

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        "Hmmm," Ragnell murmurs. Save him from himself, huh. Yeah, there are people out there like that. In her experience, though, you can't really save someone from themself, though. You can help them out, stay by their side, give them support, but they have to save themself. Trying to make someone change when they don't want to change is just an exercise in frustration and heartbreak.
        
        So naturally, Ragnell keeps that part to herself. Especially when she hears the one Xantia wants to save is Id. Some trials, you can't make up better than what people put themselves through.
        
        Xantia's explanation gets Ragnell to burst out laughing, though. "Oh, is that what you think!" she declares of her and K.K.. "Well, I'm 'fraid I don't really have any good advice for you. But you seem really passionate about this, so I wish you all the luck in the world. Luck and hard work!"
        
        Wait. K.K. killed her in the Guardian Temple? "Really? How did that happen?" she asks, eyebrows furrowing. Xantia's logic gets her a dubious look--but then a shrug. "Makes sense t' me," she drawls. "Maybe he'll need to kill you a few times himself an' see you come back with his own eyes to really accept it. Seein' is believin', right?"
        
        (rip xantia)

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

That's a lesson Xantia might learn if she considered that given what she said just now, it's pretty obvious that people's attempts to save Xantia from herself aren't really going anywhere. But if you're doing things like trying to be friends with the Demon of Elru, few people would probably accuse you of thinking straight. A heck of a self-imposed trial, indeed.

She's visibly confused when Ragnell suddenly starts laughing. What about the things she said was funny? She has absolutely no clue. She's still getting support in the end, but she can't hide her uncertainty about what just happened, only accepting these well-wishes with a doubtful, "Um... thanks?"

She's only a little bit more comfortable talking about death because, well, it's not like she knows a whole lot on that topic either. So she just kinds of shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know, I don't know what it's supposed to feel like when you die. It's just, I've taken bad hits before, but it felt different that time. Like I was conscious, and not at the same time? But then I heard a voice and I felt like I had to get up, so I did."

That's the best she's got, or at least the most that she feels like getting into. It's not like it was a very pleasant experience, and not exactly her main concern besides. Not much point in worrying about things you can't even begin to explain.

To the point of being killed by Id though, she resolutely shakes her head. "He won't kill me. I'm absolutely sure about that." No additional explanation for that one. There might not be one, could be another one of those things she just has a strong feeling about. That, and the moment where she got heated for a second has passed, and getting laughed at has taken the wind out of her sails a bit. She looks away for a moment, and quietly adds a few more words.

"...besides, it's not like I actually want to die. I don't know if I'd get back up if what happened that time happened again."

See, she does have some amount of sense. But it probably won't stop her from running directly at the next epic-scale threat.

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.

        "Huh... Interestin'." Ragnell gives Xantia an appraising look, then turns her thoughtful gaze towards the city street. It returns to Xantia when she asserts with complete confidence that Id won't kill her. "Have you tested that?"
        
        But then Ragnell waves off the question. "Eh, some things maybe you don't want to test. It'll be more interestin' if you live life not knowin' for sure!" she says brightly. "More importantly, I could go for a drink, an' I know you're always up to eat." She thumbs over her shoulder down the street, in the direction of the local pub. "How 'bout we grab a li'l somethin'? I'll need you to order for me, o' course." She claps Xantia on the shoulder and turns. "Consider it the privilege o' spiritual sight~."
        
        ...Sounds like Ragnell intends on having Xantia pay for her, too. But at least they can catch up over at the pub on less... unusual affairs. Or as less-unusual as anything gets on this planet.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia couldn't say that she's tested that, exactly. But she's fought Id... how many times now? Most times with others, but also all by herself. Everybody knows what the Demon of Elru is capable of - the fact that Xantia's still here has to mean something, right?

She doesn't actually answer the question when it's waved off however, mainly because it ends with the mention of food. "Oh, wow, that's right! I can't believe I almost forgot to eat!" No one would believe that, Xantia.

Not seeing any sort of problem with the arrangement as suggested by Ragnell, she readily agrees, "Sure, just tell me what you want and I'll get it for you!" She doesn't exactly have huge personal needs beyond food anyway, spending money on giving friends things is something she'll happily do. Sometimes things just work out for the best, don't they?