2020-10-21: Lonesomeness
- Log: Lonesomeness
- Cast: Kamui, Acacia Saitani
- Where: Bevelle
- Date: 21st October 2020
- Summary: Acacia finds Kamui in the midst of a battlefield.
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
For Acacia, it shouldn't really be that difficult to ultimately track Kamui down -- the swath of destruction in the highroads that have turned into bitter battlefields in Bevelle are one thing, but the path of broken machina who mysteriously have large, circular melted holes in their chests -- the telltale sign a Buster's gone straight through them.
It's disturbing, perhaps, but... at the same time, not exactly the newest thing. But for the little Reploid to vanish and throw herself into the heart of battle...
She can currently be found at the top of a broken-down YAT-99, overlooking the cliff where another battle is occurring at the moment.
<Pose Tracker> Acacia Saitani has posed.
Acacia's spent the last while tracking Kamui's movements, and it's not the first time she's had to do the methodical work of trying to narrow down someone's position. The rest is a good old stakeout, together with recruiting a couple of the local merchants into keeping an eye out for her so that she gets word of anything happening before anyone else.
So it's more a matter of confidence that's held her back, rather than a matter of time. She's still not exactly sure what she can say to the little Reploid that's gone through so much. She can claim all the confidence in the world that Kamui's not about to harm anyone, but she gets the feeling that the pull of 'Maverick' on the girl's memory isn't really something she should take lightly.
On the other hand, after a little time with Yue, the reporter can at least recognize that doing something is better than doing nothing, and she sucks in a breath as she makes her way up to the crest of the hill, watching the figure in the breeze. "... I brought lunch," she offers as she gets closer, and she really did.
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
"Master..."
Kamui turns towards Acacia and hops down the side of the broken machine, her eye flashing red for a still moment as she paces gently towards the reporter.
"This feels very familiar, somehow. An endless battlefield. Humans who say they renounce machines, using them to their own ends, openly being hypocrites..."
Kamui lowers her hand, where her hand is still formed into the X-Buster and lightly smoking; it's seen recent use.
"I'm glad you didn't get caught."
<Pose Tracker> Acacia Saitani has posed.
Acacia winces softly to herself, then sags her shoulders as she looks past Kamui and out to the same horizon. "... yeah. It sucks, doesn't it? This is the sort of thing I should be helping to stop with my writing, but... here on Spira, I don't even know where to start," she admits with a shake of her head and a rough sigh. "The moment I think I've heard it all, I hear about something else."
She doesn't say anything else just yet. Instead, she offers the bag forwards, letting Kamui come to her at her own pace, trying on a quiet smile. "I'm glad you didn't get caught either. Here, or back on Filgaia. I wouldn't have forgiven myself otherwise."
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
Kamui pauses as she hears her heart speaking inside of her.
There is a moment's worth of hesitation, and then she decides to speak honestly, no matter how much it might hurt.
"I saw glimpses of other reporters in my past, Master," Kamui murmurs. "Brave people who wanted to get the truth out, no matter what it cost them."
Her head lowers and mumbles, "And people did not care. The truth was inconvenient to them. It was scary to look at the truth. So they turned their heads from it."
She does accept the bag quietly, and stares inside.
<Pose Tracker> Acacia Saitani has posed.
@emit Acacia lets out a slow breath through her nose, lifting her free hand to rub at her hair. "... well, yeah. It's the same all the way down, you know? It's not really a nice profession. I remember working with one reporter who'd just refuse to review a place unless they gave him freebies. I had a few of my articles thrown out because my boss didn't wanna rock the boat. ... and sure, the Bouletin might be pretty small in the grand scheme of things," she adds with a lopsided grin that would be fanged if she had one.
"I can't let that stop me, though. I mean--" she hesitates, and frowns. "--I'm not that great at being idealistic, sure, but I don't know if I'd forgive myself for giving up a second time. I made that mistake once already. ... though, I guess it meant I'd end up meeting you and Marivel, so it wasn't too bad," she tries to lightly joke.
She's quiet for a moment as Kamui inspects the bag. There's a few of her favorite snacks from the last time they stayed at one of Rin's travel stops, wrapped in what appears to be a scarf. It's a dull red, and it's definitely not made by her own hands, and it may be the clumsiest time to try to offer a small present.
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
"A second time?" Kamui asks quietly, sitting on a rock next to the reporter. She pulls up the scarf, as well, looking a little confused by it... but then she looks to where her current black scarf, run utterly ragged and riddled with bullet holes and everything else under Kepler's sun, hangs.
She quietly undoes it, and puts the nw one on.
"Do you mean... when you ran away from Guild Galad, or?"
<Pose Tracker> Acacia Saitani has posed.
"Thought you might want a new one," Acacia grumbles softly to herself, bashful. "But don't get rid of that one, either." In fact, she watches like a hawk to make sure that Kamui puts it away carefully, then studies the rock next to her. Carefully, not sure if it might dislodge the Reploid, she sits down.
"... ah, yeah. ... did I ever tell you about that?" she wonders after a moment, her brow furrowing as she tries to remember. "I-- well, I got way in over my head chasing down some shady stuff the Congressional Knights were doing. Guess I was taking on Odessa years ago, except I didn't really take them on worth a damn. What would be different if I had, I wonder..."
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
Kamui does one better and just puts the red scarf on, in the way she usually does; somewhat loose and having it flutter around her, like she were some kind of JRPG protagonist on a command mission.
"Master didn't, but I picked pieces up from how you talked about some of those Odessa guys," Kamui explains. "But..."
A pause, as she tilts her head. "It's tough to do much when you're alone... I guess, is how it's often said."
It's an ironic thing for her to say, because she's very much thinking of going alone again.
<Pose Tracker> Acacia Saitani has posed.
"Mm, sorry. I didn't realize at the time that it was Odessa, or I might've said something. First I knew was when that creepy guy tried to attack me, and I recognized him," Acacia ... admits, but also kind of dodges any question of why she hasn't told anyone since.
For a moment she looks across at the Reploid, then nods her head. "Anything's tough to do alone. The fact you stepped out into the world without remembering much of anything about it... now that I look back I was kind of overwhelmed, but I was impressed too. I still am, really."
She lets out a sigh, and risks lifting her hand to place it on top of Kamui's hair. "... I don't want you to think you're alone, okay? There's a lot of terrible people out there. But whatever happens, I want this girl called Kamui to know I've got her back. I don't know anyone who cares for other people more than you. It's only fair I pay it back as much as I can, you know?"
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
"Yeah... I remember. The guy pretending to be one of Mom's people," Kamui sounds like she has a specific kind of distaste to that, for rather obvious reasons.
She glances aside, though, and murmurs, "But... don't you have a duty as well, as a reporter? A lot of it I still don't remember, but I know..."
Kamui places a hand to her chest. "I know I killed many people. I know I brought a lot of destruction, some five hundred years earlier. This... shouldn't be something anyone overlooks so easily."
<Pose Tracker> Acacia Saitani has posed.
The redhead remains silent for a moment, thinking that over. As she said to Yue, she's still not completely sure how to approach this - but she can't just leave it alone at this point, either. She gathers what she knows - Juno's taunting set against Marivel's desperate pleas - and turns both over in her head slowly.
"I'd like to think that people can change. And I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good judge of character. And whatever else, I've watched you - around Meria Boule, around other robots, around ARMS, here on Spira. You're not some monster," she says firmly. "I trust you. I-- well, I miss you, too."
She softens right afterwards, letting out a slow breath. "Marivel said something about it being for a good cause. That you were trying to stop the other machines from getting hurt? ... would you tell me about it?" she asks, and then immediately winces. "--not as your Master," she doesn't think she needs to say that, but says it anyway. "As a friend."
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
Kamui doesn't seem to mind, perhaps not even thinking it as an order, but glances aside as she replies: "I know Mother is being selective and gentle with me. She says there was light in the darkness, in the end. That I protected Tio, and... that may be true."
She glances back towards her, however. "But I speak of unfathomable heaviness in the heart, Master... you talked about giving up, before."
A pause, as she admits: "At that point, I knew I had given up. I had given up trying to understand anyone, trying to be better. I had decided humans and machinekind could not coexist. And that realisation is worse than being any simple monster."
<Pose Tracker> Acacia Saitani has posed.
Acacia watches for a long moment, then lets out a slow breath, rubbing at her hair. "... I'm sorry. Spira is-- the worst possible place for you to be right now, huh?" she wonders softly, looking across at the broken machina next to them. "What Yevon's doing is absolutely terrible."
She finds herself swallowing, her throat dry. "... I can't know what it's like, to have lived that long and had that sort of realization. It must have been hard. Given everything, I can't blame you for feeling that way. But..." she rakes at her hair, and hardens her stare off into the distance. "I don't expect you to be some unfeeling machine. If you're being treated unfairly, it's okay to say that. If you're angry, it's okay to be angry."
"I know-- we're kind of talking on different scales here," she adds with a rueful smile. "But I can only talk about the Kamui I know. And that Kamui includes all that stuff in the past, and all your regret, and all the hope you've had for Tio and Xiumei, and all the times you've been dumb with the kids in Meria Boule, or helped fight for what you think is right, and all the rest of it."
"That all makes 'you' up. And I'm okay with this 'you', even if she has a bit of a tendency to disappear off on her own all the time and steal all my food. ... I told someone I wanted to rip Juno in half for suggesting he wipe your memory," she admits awkwardly.
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
"... I won't lie. It is, but... it isn't like the same problems don't exist back home," Kamui admits. "But it does remind me of what it used to be like, time and time again."
She is silent for a while longer, eating her snack as she listens to Acacia speak her piece. Her thoughts.
"I hope you never have to know what it feels like, Master," Kamui does speak after she's finished. "Not being able to feel is one thing. To choose to not feel, after weighing everything, is...."
A longer pause. "I know you can only know the 'me' of today, but... remember Juno knows the 'me' of the past."
Kamui looks towards Acacia. "... we should go, though. It's not safe to stay here for too long."
<Pose Tracker> Acacia Saitani has posed.
"He did also say he was gonna cut me open to study my tasty, etheric insides, so I might be a little biased," Acacia manages to just about deadpan - but she catches Kamui's hand for a moment as she draws in a breath. "I want to trust in you. More than that, I don't want you to have to feel that way again. You've got a home, and Gami waiting for you, and me having your back, and a lot of other people waiting to see you safe," she adds solemnly.
"And if you run off I will start just chasing you," she adds with a more familiar grumble. "Don't think I won't. You haven't even seen me at my most stubborn Master mode. ... c'mon," she offers more softly, holding out her hand.
<Pose Tracker> Kamui has posed.
Kamui is silent for a while longer, looking towards Acacia. Then down, towards the red scarf now draped around her neck.
"Lonesomeness only ruined mother and I," whispers Kamui. "Perhaps..."
She pauses, as she reaches up with her gauntleted hand and rises. She'll just have to trust it can work, for now...