2021-04-20: The Phantom of Djose Temple is there Inside Your Mind

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  • Log: 2021-04-20: The Phantom of Djose Temple is there Inside Your Mind
  • Cast: Seraph Boudicca, Xander Lovell, Riley Arwell
  • Where: Djose Temple
  • Date: April 21, 2021
  • Summary: Xander tries to stab Boudicca. But is there truly such a thing as Boudicca? A question for the ages.

===============================<* Djose Temple *>===============================

Djose Temple is one of the Temples of Yevon, though unlike some, it is near no settlement. A small refugee camp has appeared near Djose Temple in the wake of the failure of Operation Mi'ihen. At the very northern edge of Mushroom Rock Road, it is surrounded by the tall, stacked mushroom-like cliffs.

The refugee camp is built around a small outpost; tents and temporary buildings make it up. The Temple itself is often encased in rock, and requires lightning-aspected mana to open it. That makes the rocks around it fly out, and unveil the structure.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnKi0LqkL5g&ab_channel=Ultimatefighter343
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Boudicca has posed.

    Boudicca is here at Djose Temple helping orphans who lost their families to Sin's attacks here not so long in history. That is precisely the sort of thing Boudicca does all the time, and is, in fact, specifically what she is doing today: helping sad orphans.

    Today's Orphan Quest, specifically, led Boudicca to leave the Temple and head out to the roads surrounding it; one of the girls there, the very youngest nun-in-training, was quite distraught over the fact that it was her birthday and her mother had not gotten her a specific yellow flower which grew there. The children, of course, are too scared to go out there alone. But Boudicca...

    ... Boudicca has character levels, and does not fear fungus-based Fiends, or any others, for that matter.

    And so she has come out to search beside the road for a flower. A yellow flower, mind you. The little girl was deeply specific.

<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.

Thorns spread through Xander's lungs. The pain was an ever present reminder of urgency. They need to quell the symptoms of the curse through a sacrifice of blood, or it will claim them. With the growth having pierced through Xander's chest, he spent mornings cutting and trimming away the blossoms carefully. It was only surface level, not like the way he would surgically remove the roots from Riley's face and neck when able. With the depth of it, Xander fears he risks even more internal bleeding if he were to try.

Coughing up blood now and then was better than going into shock and bleeding to death, but he doesn't look great for it. Xander's always ashen, but his complexion's hit a level of 'about to faint' pale as the new default.

That's not how he carries himself, though. Xander is determined to hold his head high and press on with only the occasional cough. But he's gone into a hunting mode of sorts, even less inclined to banter with Riley beyond a distracted grunt of affirmation here or there. Spira is a place of pilgrimage, and Xander hopes to catch someone off guard on their way to -- or from -- the temple.

Once he sees a silhouette, his eyes dilate and he snaps out his hand to stop Riley before signaling for silence with a finger pressed to Riley's lips. It's a grim toss of his head that motions to his target: a woman searching the roadside. With her focused on another task, he hopes this is the opportunity he needs to strike.

Xander slips toward his mark. Even if she sees him coming sooner, the flash of dagger isn't visible until it's already been drawn, seeking a vital space between plates of her armor and trying to aim for a deep, critical blow.

Or it might be if his target were human.

<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.

Riley has his doubts about their fitness for a fight -- the thorns in Xander's lungs mean his condition continues to worsen by the day, and Riley is still recovering from a series of puncture wounds he received during an ill-fated run-in with a Drifter who was able to summon ice knives. But the urgency is growing.

They only need one unwary traveler to get out of this mess. But on the other hand, descending on someone too capable could just as easily put an end to them. There's little to do except hope they get lucky.

There's a pulse of excitement and dread in Riley's chest as Xander signals for silence and stalks after his target. But as Riley attempts to move into position for a shot with his bow, he finds with increasing concern that he can't spot the person Xander is going for. He steps closer, veering to one side to look from a different angle in case Xander might be blocking his view of the target, and is finally forced to confront the sight of Xander stabbing... nobody. He vanishes his phantom arrow and releases the tension on his bowstring, and hurries over to him.

"Xander...! Xander! What are you doing?! There's nobody there. Are you okay?"

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Boudicca has posed.

    Boudicca crouches, as she inspects a flower bed. "No... that is more of an orange... oh, who knew colours could be so complex..?"

    She is completely focused on her task of Finding That One Particular Quest Flower. Xander might be doing his best to strike efficiently, but as it turns out, he only really needed .4 of his best. .5, tops. Crouched down like this, even her plate armour has points of separation, articulation points required to let her move -- like the one which separates her chestplate from her flank.

    "Oh," Boudicca exclaims, quietly.

    It's a small sound. Sometimes they're such small sounds, when they never expected it at all. All carried out her lips on the breeze of her lungs, as that knife sinks in just below her ribs. His blade ought to come out VERY red.

    She looks heavy, all wrapped up in armour and tall even when she's crouched over like this. And indeed the strike sends her mightily crashing down, a plume of dust and dirt flying up as if a localised whirlwind had just made contact with the ground.

    Still...

    ... until...

    ... "goodness," Boudicca huffs, and there is just that thin trail of blood on the blade, that thin trail of blood in the laceration, though Xander's aim cannot be argued. She puts a hand to the ground and the wind blows her back upwards, whirling to face the man with the dagger -- and his friend, who sounds deeply concerned for him.

    Boudicca reaches for the sticks at her belt, of course; she takes her tonfa to hand. But she does not, immediately, respond to Xander's attack with another, lifting them in a defensive position instead. Examining his face, she asks: "Are you... well?" There is that hitch of discomfort, in her voice, a little grimace as the metaphor of herself rearranges; still, the question she asks Xander is without sarcasm or bite. Even if these are highwaymen, she can't help but be concerned over how they're acting.

<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.

Every nerve and muscle is taut like a spring, ready to twist into the next move in case the strike misses. But Xander feels the knife sink in, he sees where it's gone. He knows what the blade should look like when he yanks it out and makes his follow up strike to finish it off.

The blade yanks back with only a single red line, nearly clean. The wound is -- what?

Xander snaps his gaze up to his target. She's prepared for a fight, and so is he, immediately, slipping back into a readied stance with his knife raised like a guard for his own vitals, prepared to parry while his thoughts try to catch up with him.

It's her concern that has him most stricken, joined by Riley's insistence no one is there.

"She's -- She's right there!" he hisses to Riley, risking a glance to him. But Xander doesn't see the gleam in Riley's eye that comes with his jokes, nor that cat-like smile of his that comes with teasing. Nor is Xander's blade covered in the blood it should be. "I... stabbed her?" A question now. Xander hesitates, looking over the blade. He lets Riley see, but that's probably even more worrying.

The bloodlust isn't there when he looks back up at Boudicca. Valmar doesn't crave this sacrifice and Xander's breath catches. He looks from Boudicca, to the knife, to Riley, and all over again as he tries to take a deep breath to settle his pounding heart.

"... Don't panic," he says with a sudden deathly calm as he looks back to Riley, "But I think I'm having a mental break down."

<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.

Xander insists that 'she' is right there, and shows Riley a clean blade to prove it. Riley's brow furrows with concern. He looks at the blade, and he looks at where Xander is looking, trying to see what he's seeing. But... nothing. Not even a shadow.

... Don't panic, but I think I'm having a mental break down.

Riley makes a face of profound dismay at him before gathering his composure and rubbing Xander's back in an attempted gesture of comfort. "It's all right, Xander, you've been under a lot of stress." Is it the blood loss...? What if it's the blood loss? "Do you need to sit down?"

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Boudicca has posed.

    "No, no, please do not be alarmed," Boudicca tries to explain, "I..."

    But her explanation for why that man's friend can't see her trails off as she listens to Riley, only to sigh. It's as if the world sighs with her, a breeze suddenly picking up along the roadside. "Yes," she agrees, "let us sit."

    And so she puts her tonfa away, and she sits. And there's a little noise of discomfort as she does, because she was still stabbed and it still hurts. "I have no salve for mental anguish, but..."

    Boudicca claps her hands together, a Seraphic glyph lighting up beneath her. "The world exhales! Soothing Breeze!" Like springtime the zephyr wends around her, fixing that small problem of having a hole in her side; so too does it make its way around Xander and Riley, to heal them, too.

    "Now," she says, to Xander, "you are not insane, I am a Seraph, and your friend simply does not have the spiritual acumen to perceive me. Would you like to tell me how you have come to stab people on the side of the road?"

<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.

Oh no she's talking to him. Xander accepts Riley's attempts to comfort him with resigned unease. He swallows. He tastes blood. Maybe it is the blood loss. The wind seems to move with this figment, like he were giving image to the wind itself. But she doesn't look like anything that would come out of his thoughts. ...Maybe one of his old fairy tales...?

Then the healing spell is spoken and everything about Xander tenses up again. Magic can do about as much the damage of curse roiling inside his chest as alchemy can -- which is to say, almost nothing -- but he's still familiar enough with his own body to feel it trying.

"A... Seraph? The hell is a Seraph?" Don't talk back! She's not running away and a real person would have run away by now, not be concerned and heal him...! But the magic sinks in against his flesh and a new dread is gnawing at the back of Xander's mind.

The awareness of Riley's touch upon him because burningly acute. Xander shoot straight up, back arched like he's had a bucket of cold water dumped on him. It's not his usual grumpy shoving so much as a flustered jolt slightly out of reach as he stares back at Riley, red faced and unguardedly bashful.

Not in front of the... hallucination.

The embarrassment doubles. Xander drops his knife and buries his face in his hands. Nobody look at him please, especially the hallucination. "No, no we don't need to do this. You live in my head. You know exactly why I'm stabbing people on the side of the road."

<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.

Healing magic does little for their curse, it's true. But Riley, who was so recently pincushioned with ice knives, does feel a little bit better in that regard, and puzzles over the soothing breeze.

Could there be someone there? A 'Seraph,' whatever that is? Why would such a being heal them?

Riley's touch seems to spook Xander, who becomes suddenly and disarmingly adorable about it instead of snarling at him like he usually does. Riley gives an apologetic smile. Part of the apology is for enjoying the expression on Xander's face. He removes his hand from Xander's back but still settles it on his shoulder.

"...What does your hallucination look like, Xander?" He reaches for the empty air in front of them where he supposes the phantom might be, and tries to wave his hand through the space.

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Boudicca has posed.

    "I live in your...? Gracious, no!" Boudicca lifts a hand, palm-up, to abjure the notion. "I would not take a sapient Vessel! Perish the thought!"

    Boudicca, on the other hand, is having trouble perishing the thought that these men have considerable problems. That fellow still looks as pale as a corpse, even after her healing. She reaches out to poke at Riley's waving hand with a finger, which may or may not actually have any effect, but she can at least do her best.

    "I am not a hallucination," Boudicca repeats, again, trying her best not to sound too bothered by the entire concept. "A Seraph is... a holy spiritual being of Althena, and ours is to ensure the safety of humanity throughout the centuries. You are just lucky you tried to stab me, and not a mortal human! Were you to have stabbed them where you stabbed me, 'twould be a terrible situation." Boudicca... is giving them the benefit of the doubt, maybe.

    Maybe.

    "My name is Boudicca," says Boudicca, "and I am deeply concerned for the situation which has led you to this frenzy of stabbing. Though I am sure you have some reason... still, you must not do this!" Or maybe, stern face and stern words, she's just holding out hope that this time telling someone not to do a harmful thing will actually work.

<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.

"A vessel," Xander repeats, because he's already decided he's fine with Riley thinking he's crazy. Well, that particular ship sailed a year ago so it's probably fine. "All right. Thought... perished."

Xander keeps his focus on Boudicca, which is probably all the more worrying for Riley. "She has long braids with a ribbon. And horned armor." Describing her feels absurd, "She says she's a Seraph, something something Althena and spirits ensuring the safety of humanity." Pause. "Her name's Boudicca."

OH GOOD his hallucination has a name.

"She's asking us not to stab people." Xander takes a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. If she is a hallucination, and not a Seraph or whatever that is, then he is, in fact, having a mental breakdown. Great. Fantastic.

"And I don't want to stab her," he says, looking to Riley meaningfully. But doesn't that just make her being a hallucination more likely?

<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.

Riley contemplates the half-a-conversation he can hear.

The results of his handwave test are inconclusive. He maybe felt something...? Or maybe he didn't.

"What's that about perishing? Horned armor..." He tries to picture his own Boudicca in the space of Xander's focus. It is not very accurate.

She's asking us not to stab people.

"Oh? Ask her if she has a better idea for us, then." Riley, despite entertaining the notion that Xander's hallucination might be a real Seraph-spirit-person, still seems to also assume that Boudicca understands why they're stabbing people on the road.

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Boudicca has posed.

    Just talk about Boudicca like she's not here that's fine. It's at least not as rude as stabbing her before saying hello. Boudicca isn't mad about it.

    (Okay, she might be a little flustered.)

    Boudicca sighs, as Xander yadda-yaddas past their entire reason for existence, and resolves not to bring up such advanced subjects as 'some Seraphs have decided that humans are actually terrible'. Riley comments on her horned helm, and her gauntlet-clad hands reaches up to feel at her horns.

    "Is that truly the most notable thing about me..?" She wonders, to herself, lost in consideration for a moment.

    This, it turns out, is a terrible idea, because then Xander says he doesn't want to stab her, which Boudicca would normally be thrilled about, except for the way he emphasises that last word through voice and glance. "W-wait just a moment!" Boudicca exclaims, hands coming back down to wave in front of her. "You should not wish to stab anyone! It ought not be special that you do not wish to do violence unto me!"

    It is increasingly possible, Boudicca thinks, that something is deeply wrong with these men.

    "Are you experiencing emotional troubles? I do not sense Malevolence about you, but -- but if you feel you must express yourselves through violence, you are not the first to feel so pressured!" Nervousness threads through her voice as Boudicca realises just how out of her depth she is trying to fix this. She can't fix feelings. "I assure you there are other ways, and, and you will find yourselves much happier, truly! Or is this another's request? If you are being pressured by someone else, I -- I am sure my friends and I can offer you some assistance!"

    Sadly, hallucinations these days don't seem to know anything about anyone's motivations.

<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.

Sorry Boudicca, Xander can't remember what it means to be polite to humans, let alone spiritual beings from another planet and a god he's not familiar with. Or maybe he wants to hit blasphemy bingo.

"The most notable thing about you is that you haven't run away," Xander says. "Assuming you're real."
 
Xander's still doubting his sanity enough, or at least Riley's current opinion of his sanity enough, to think his question is directed at least a little at Xander by proxy. "We already exhausted my better ideas, and look where that got us." He's trying to sound annoyed, but it's defeated, and the attempted harshness in his tone prompts a cough. He catches it against his sleeve, taking a breath to steady himself.

The white cloth is stained red as he pulls it away.

He sucks in air, ragged and tired. "It's a little bit special. Mostly it's Valmar's servants I don't want to stab. Is Althena another name for the same entity?" Maybe the whole of the moon sees it far, far differently... like Neriah and her belief it's about change. Weirder things have happened.

Emotional troubles. If only she knew the half of that. But that's exactly the issue here. "I won't be happy if I'm dead!" he snaps. "It's us or it's them, and unless your friends know how to negotiate with a dead god, I've got to pick us. Sorry."

There's no remorse in that apology.

But there is the sparks of a sick hope that maybe there are spirits who can negotiate with a dead god. Don't. He reminds himself. That's how you keep making everything worse.

<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.

Riley's hand at Xander's shoulder gives a small squeeze of concern and reassurance as Xander coughs blood.

Xander seems to be evaluating the possibility that the hallucination-or-spirit is aligned with Valmar.

"She also hasn't got any blood, if she's here at all..." he suggests, as another possibility. At least, there was no blood that Riley could see. He is aware that there may be invisible blood, but isn't sure invisible blood would count anyway.

I won't be happy if I'm dead!'

Riley gives a small frown vaguely Boudiccawards as she upsets Xander with... well, whatever it is she said. "I don't know if a servant of Valmar would be trying to talk us out of killing... it does seem like possibly a fragment of your psyche would be, though..."

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Boudicca has posed.

    "Why would I run?" Boudicca asks, frowning. "You evidently have some form of issue presently, and were I to flee, you may try and stab someone who could not so easily get up afterwards."

    Not only is Boudicca real, she's stab-blocking them. How cruel!

    But Boudicca, for all her myriad concerns, still has enough concern in her heart for this bitter man who coughs up blood, no matter the healing she just gave him. Oh, it's an old concern; men who die and die and die, no matter the effort.

    So she tries, even though her nervousness is mounting.

    New alarm crosses her face as Xander asks whether Althena is -- "No! Absolutely not!" Boudicca shakes her head ferociously, braids all getting tangled up in her lap, as the breeze picks up around her. "I mean --" this is the moment where Boudicca thinks back to their Goddess and wonders whether it is remotely possible that she's actually a dark god who desires nothing but the suffering of men, "-- there is no possible connection!"

    Boudicca is filing that thought straight in the nope bucket.

    And she points at Riley, though he might not appreciate the gesture in the slightest, and declares: "In no form or fashion am I considered a 'servant of Valmar'! Please do not even suffer the thought! Arastell locked away things which should never have been woken, and I have no affiliation with such horrors!"

    (Maybe Boudicca shouldn't have mentioned the catacombs, but that is a problem for future Boudicca, because current Boudicca is busy panicking.)

    "But --" she takes a breath and smooths down her silk frills, from where they'd billowed up in the breeze. "But, you feel it is 'us or them'... all right. All right," she repeats, trying to calm herself down. "So, let me be clear... if you do not kill people, you will die? And this is a function of Valmar..?"

    Okay. That's... at least a mindset she's encountered before. Boudicca can handle this. It's okay. No, no, Boudicca cannot handle this and it is in no way okay --

    No, no, if she panicks they're just going to go off and stab someone else. Boudicca does her best to get a grip. (On her very own arms, crossed over her chest.)

<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.

There is no response Xander can find to Boudicca's refusal to run. You know what? Fine. She can be weird. That's great.

Xander whips back around to stare at Riley in sharp offense. They both know Riley's correct, but this is not something anyone's supposed to acknowledge or entertain out loud. He clenches his jaw, and breathes a frustrated tch as he looks back at Boudicca.

The hallucination-maybe-spirit -- Boudicca, Boudicca is... panicking about associations with darkness. Xander clicks his tongue. "Interesting." It's not, really. "Arastell..." He says it mostly so he can remember it later, though he's not sure he cares. He leans in to whisper to Riley, as if Boudicca can't hear it. "She doesn't like that I said she might have anything to do with Valmar."

He sighs, heavy. It doesn't look like she does have any ideas.

"That's right. Life for life." Xander shrugs his shoulders. "You may as well try convincing a cat to stop hunting mice and starve."

<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.

Riley is given kind of a scolding look when he suggests that part of Xander's psyche might not want him to kill.

"What? It's not like it's that strange. But I wonder why that part of your mind would appear to you as a woman in horned armor..."

She doesn't like that I said she might have anything to do with Valmar.

"I guess they know about Valmar even on the moon?" It's not a huge shock, if the curse can reach them here.

You may as well try convincing a cat to stop hunting mice and starve.

Riley glances aside with a pang of guilt. He was trying to starve the Fangs when he first got them, for all the good it did in the end. They weren't trying quite so aggressively to kill him then the way they are with Xander now, though.

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Boudicca has posed.

    oh no did boudicca make it worse now they think she's in denial and did they not know about arastell oh no oh no oh no

    Deliberately she tries to pull up that part of her brain before it can keep spiralling in for eternity, no matter how suitable the location might be. She raises a finger to point out to Riley that the moon is well-connected these days, but this time she thinks better of it, and lowers her hand without speaking.

    The one still latched to her arm rubs at the silk there, as Xander compares himself to a cat. "I have not met a cat who does not have a detestable attitude to the welfare of those around him," Boudicca grumbles, halfway to herself, before she puffs out a sigh and looks over to the pale man.

    "But it cannot be as simple as killing others to ensure your life," Boudicca struggles calm into her voice, even as her fingers tighten over her arm. "Perhaps you are comfortable with this, killing others so you will survive, though I think that answer is more complex than you would like it to be." Why else would he think she is some -- what, fragment of his conscience?

    (oh goddess, she's not equipped for this, what would dean do)

    "Those feelings of desperation... you must be very careful, for there is more still we know on what you call the moon." Boudicca shifts her hand to her heart, glancing aside. "Malevolence lives in the hearts of men. I should not like to see you claimed by two darknesses. I do not abide by your cruelty, but that fate is too sad for anyone to reckon."

    Boudicca shakes her head, looking to them again. "There must be a way to confound Valmar's connection to you," she insists. "I truly believe this is the only way you can possibly survive! Please consider my words, not only for everyone's sake, but for yours, as well!"

<Pose Tracker> Xander Lovell has posed.

That really doesn't sound like any part of his own mind when Riley says it out loud. Yet Xander seems refusing to look at Riley with this particular subject matter. It isn't strange, no, but a nerve is being struck all the same. This leaves them two guilty murderers who won't share a glance for the moment.

Boudicca sounds at least a little bit in denial to Xander. Sorry Boudicca.

"Then you already know what to expect from me," Xander says of Boudicca's cat opinions.

Xander actually barks an almost laugh at Boudicca's warning on darkness. It's only the start of the sound, and devoid of any joy. "You're far too late to worry about that."

Then she speaks with her hope and her optimism, and it's too much like looking in a mirror of himself, and Riley's words about his psyche are still gnawing at his frayed nerves, and Xander clenches his teeth. His cursed fangs show as he growls at Boudicca. "The last time we tried purifying away the connection they told me to stand by and watch my beloved die for the sake of the world. I'll burn the world before ever considering those words ever again."

He's possibly forgotten that Riley can't hear Boudicca, but can still hear him.

<Pose Tracker> Riley Arwell has posed.

The last time we tried purifying away the connection they told me to stand by and watch my beloved die for the sake of the world.

Riley is mystified to silence, his head tilting at the words, so much so that he's nearly leaning sideways. Did Xander really say that?

Maybe he is having a mental breakdown...

<Pose Tracker> Seraph Boudicca has posed.

    Boudicca is just about to worry about whether maybe she's missed the Malevolence with everything else hanging around their shoulders --

    but she just stepped on a landmine.

    She might be an ageless spirit but she still leans back when Xander growls; perhaps the weight on him is heavy enough even to intimidate ghosts. "No, I would not ask that of... that is not the truth of purification! I am sorry you were hurt, but, but--!"

    Did he have fangs before? Boudicca is not so attentive to how people look. Are the fangs new? Is her presence here straining him further? Rapid-fire she wonders whether she is only making things worse, fumbling through.

    One thing is for sure: she doesn't think she can handle this on her own.

    Boudicca takes a breath, pushing herself standing. "I will not adjust my expectations to the lowest demoninator," she insists, no matter how Xander feels about her cat experience, "and I refuse to believe I am too late. But, I... I am exacerbating this situation, I think. I have no wish to do you harm..."

    Well, that's what she says, but maybe she's nervous, too. After all, it's her same old excuse: "I must go." And it turns out Boudicca is very good at running away, once she actually puts her mind to it, wind at her heels as she turns and goes in the opposite direction.

    She'll stick around the Temple for a little while, just to make sure no orphans go missing.