2021-06-07: What She Fears
- Log: What She Fears
- Cast: Ida Everstead-Rey, Citan Uzuki
- Where: Aphel Aura - Residential District
- Date: June 07, 2021
- Summary: As agreed, Citan meets with Ida to discuss a rather personal matter of hers in private.
<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.
Ida's last meeting with Citan left her with more questions. Not all of those are his fault--Gwen did start talking about meeting Fafnir in a dream, before Ida quietly told her this wasn't the time for that. Nevertheless, it was he who first told her about Shevat in detail, and he who thought that its medical staff might be able to help her.
The heiress sits in the hospital's small meeting room, reading a book she borrowed from the city's library. It's not actually in book format--it's a tablet, and Ida finds its design as fascinating as the ancient novels contained within. She's also doing a good job of blending into the populace; she wears the blue-and-gold pullover tunic, cream slacks, and martial artist's shoes she bought when she first arrived.
It's a beautiful day. The sun streams through the window, illuminating greenery and computer screens and the polished wooden table. Everything is fine.
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
He's here alone, today.
This is not because he is keeping such a thing hidden from his wife -- rather the opposite, and Yui has better things to do than follow him around. Things have become more chaotic in Shevat of late, and whether this will be for good or for ill he cannot yet say.
The wheel, Gaspar had said to him once, a long time ago, can be broken. The endless cycle in which this world has been caught can be brought to an end. The question only remains: what form that ending will take?
"Miss Everstead-Rey..."
Citan announces himself thus, once he enters the room in which she's seated.
"I trust that I am not interrupting anything?"
<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.
Ida tilts her head, her chair swiveling slightly towards Citan. She sets the tablet down, and offers the doctor a warm, welcoming smile. "Not at all," she says. "I was expecting you a little later, but that's hardly an inconvenience." She gestures at another empty chair, next to hers. "I would have returned the favor, but the tea service today was rationed for the patients." Her tone suggests this is something she is unused to--but she's dealing with it in stride. It's not like this place gets regular trade with the surface.
The martial artist waits for Citan to close the door, and seat himself. "I wanted to speak with you about matters that came up the other day," she says. "Sensitive matters. I remember, you told me that the people here might be able to help me. I haven't spoken to any of them about it. I'm... not sure what to ask." She looks down at the table. "I'm... worried they might see me as a security risk, despite everything." 'Security risk' is only part of it, judging from Ida's expression. She's downplaying it.
The hateful, treasonous voice uses other words to describe her condition. Freak. Monster.
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
"That is quite alright," Citan tells her, shaking his head. "The staff here is more, shall we say, protective of its supplies. ...Between that which Shevat can provide for itself and what it must rely on from below... well, fortunately a citywide shortage is not commonplace in this day and age." He smiles, if abashedly. "Let us hope it remains thus!"
But he did not come out this way to talk to her about the state of Shevat's tea supply.
He closes the door behind him and takes a seat near opposite her.
"I had gathered. I assume you have sought the advice of... oh, I see."
He rubs at his chin.
"If... I am being quite honest, I do not think you are more of a security risk in their eyes as some of the rest of us, myself included. But, that is not all that is worrying you, is it, Miss Everstead-Rey?"
He pauses for a moment, closing his eyes.
"...You fear they will think you a monster. Is that right?"
<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.
Ida nods. The next time she makes the trip up here, she's going to have to bring sundries. And account for the mass of those sundries in her fuel expenditures, since she cut it very close her first trip up. Ida is certain that she could pulse-jet down the length of Babel Tower on the slimmest of reserves, but that's not something she wants to experience.
But there is a more pressing issue at hand, and Citan identifies it in a single word. Ida's face twists into a thin, sad smile. "It's as I said earlier," she says. "Some days it feels like a mystery to unravel, or a wellspring of hidden power. Other days it feels like a burden, or a curse, something dehumanizing. I know all of those feelings are valid, but..."
"He's broken loose once already. He didn't hurt anyone, but--" Ida's breath hitches. "And then Gwen said she saw him in a dream, and I don't know where to even begin with that."
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
There are times when the generally kindly doctor can cut right to the quick of the matter.
"...I understand," he says, opening his eyes once more to gaze across the table at her. "What has happened to you may be a singular event. In any case, we cannot know for certain if another had been... able to, before."
But he remembers what had come of her that night when they had struggled against Gwen. She had been, for a time, overrun.
"In a dream... well, who is to say what that might mean?" Citan says to Ida, his smile a slight if tight one. "This is not to discredit your fears or Gwen's experience, of course. Rather... a dream can mean many things. It does not suggest that you necessarily have something to fear... or something to disregard. There is a connection between Gwen in yourself in a fashion... and she may know 'him' better than most others might."
He falls silent, for a time.
"...Needless to say, I do not think that harm would befall you as a result of any investigation from the staff, here. And while I cannot say what they might think of you, I should say again that Shevat is not Solaris. There are beastfolk who make this place their home, among others. They are treated no differently than humans here."
<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.
Ida swallows. "Not in the same fashion," she says, looking up to meet Citan's eyes. "But long before all this happened, I... discovered something, in Cage Tower. Filgaia's forces were experimenting with Hyadean tissue--with hybridization. Whether that means other chimeras or something else, I can't say. But they knew it was possible. I even used some of their research to commission medicine for myself. I don't know what became of those experiments, if anything, but..."
The silence speaks volumes. Anything could've happened. And Ida has seen that research replicated by madmen. A haunted look creeps into blue-grey eyes.
The dreams. "Possible," she says. "But..." Ida's eyes flick away, towards a potted fern near the window. "Doctor, have you ever had a dream tinged with static, that felt real, and lucid?"
He raises a very good point, but first, Ida needs a data point of her own.
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
This seems to actually make the doctor pause.
"Hybridization? ...With Hyadean flesh?"
And not merely mimicing the features thereof?
The Emperor had spoken to him once of the Holmcross. But had some not stopped at mimicry and went on to attempt to merge human and Hyadean? And if so, what had come of it?
"...All of which we can be certain is that, regardless of whatever they might have attempted, nothing now remains of it. Whether that means that they were unsuccessful, or whether..."
Citan does not finish that statement. There is no purpose in finishing that statement.
But Ida speaks to him again of dreams, and at this, he can only shake his head. "No, I have not. Of course, it is the nature of dreams to feel quite real. Why, the other night I myself had a dream where I had been playing cards with an oversized ant." He smiles, genially. "I assure you, it only seemed absurd upon awakening!"
<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.
Ida nods, a darkness creeping into her eyes as she processes Citan's words, and the implication. She's wondered--often late at night--if the graft would extend her lifespan, or cut it short. And that's not even counting the problems it caused during its initial integration, and its subsequent expansion into her central nervous system.
"Ah," Ida says, forcing a smile. "That sounds... more lighthearted than many of my dreams, lately."
But she can only delay her question for so long. "Thank you for your reassurance," Ida says. "With everything that's happened, I just--I just don't want to end up as a /test subject."
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
The only answer Citan would be able to give her would be this:
He has no answer as to what would become of her. While he has expertise and understanding in a variety of fields, they do not include the depth of domain knowledge that would be required to make an educated guess about what might happen to Ida Everstead-Rey in due time. Medicine is not the same as biology. Engineering is not the same as genetics and cellular structure. Psychology affords him only a reasonable understanding about the contents of her mind.
"Gaining knowledge can be a frightening thing," he remarks, glancing down at the table for but the moment. "...Nevertheless, to understand the shape of your future, I believe it is a necessary step."
That more serious persona of his melts away in the moments following and he shakes his head, unable to keep from smiling slyly. "I believe I was winning, but only by a hair. In the event that you were wondering, you understand."
But even that he soon leaves aside. "Indeed. I am happy to have been of assistance, Miss Everstead-Rey. As I had said... whatever errors Shevat has made in its past, it is not Solaris. Please keep that in mind."
<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.
There's another grim little nod as Citan speaks of the fear knowledge can bring. Ida knows that all too well, as someone who's seen glimpses of the rot beneath the skin of the world. Still, she can't help but smile as Citan tries to lighten the mood. "I will," she says. "Thank you, Doctor." She pauses a beat, lips tightening. "Would you be willing to go with me when I speak with them? Just... so there's someone there."
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
"You are quite welcome! I hope that I have helped you to make a decision," Citan replies, shaking his head.
At which point she asks him to come along with him. "Oh? Well, I do not think that I had much else that I needed to do today," he says, after a moment's consideration. "Very well! I must admit, I am a little curious myself...?"
<Pose Tracker> Ida Everstead-Rey has posed.
Ida's smile returns, faint but earnest. "Then we'll find out together," she says. Rising from her seat, she scoops up the tablet and turns to the door. "Shall we?"
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
"Then, after you," Citan says to her, similarly rising from his seat.