2021-06-22: What Do You Do With Freedom?
- Log: What Do You Do With Freedom?
- Cast: Pearl, Jean, Hiro
- Where: Calm Lands Travel Agency
- Date: June 22, 2021
- Summary: The Shadow Dragon Master is dead. Pearl seeks out Jean to tell her what happened, and to ask for help.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
A young woman sits at a table outside the Calm Lands Travel Agency. Her silver hair covers her face, and a black and green tartan blanket sits on her lap. She's dressed in Spiran clothes, and a cloak that was to get her through Gagazet. A meal and a drink sit in front of her, barely touched. She knows she needs to eat, but...
But she's tired. And more than anything else, nervous. She was never nervous. She hadn't felt that way since... since...
She puts a hand on her staff, trying to steady herself mentally. She isn't waiting for an enemy to come for her. She may be close to the Guard, but they have their own problems to worry about, and the Calm Lands are big. She had enough time. Continuing her pilgrimage may be harder but that was always going to be hard. She was a summoner without any guardians. Marching to her death.
But hadn't she always been?
It's a morbid thought loop Pearl sits in, waiting for her meeting.
<Pose Tracker> Jean has posed.
It started when Jean received a message through one of the Spheres, which had been waiting for her for some time. She was very alert, very aware of something--and immeiately started setting up to leave and go somewhere. She didn't insist on making the trip alone, but there was someone she needed to see...
And this is what has taken the dancer--the former Shadow Dragon cultist--to the Calm Lands, bypassing the Solaris camps in Macalania and the fiends of the plains while moving at a quick pace--it's not a casual sort of way she's made her way over. And here, finally...
"I see her," Jean says, and she hasn't actually explained everything to Hiro; she's been quiet, keeping a lot to herself, in that sort of Way she gets sometimes. But now, she walks, green hair down and tied back and clothes done in a largely Spiran style, particularly for the colder weather in the northerly parts of the islands.
Pearl might expect her to look more vigilant, to have a weapon out or free, but while she does look like she's paying very close attention... She isn't carrying any open weapons at the moment save the fans at her hip, last used on Fiends rather than on... well. People she's meeting.
<Pose Tracker> Hiro has posed.
"That's her?"
Hiro says in wonder, having followed Jean all the way to this meeting at the Travel Agency. And once the pair approaches her.
Hiro puts hand over hand, and awkwardly performs the Prayer - making it obvious he isn't exactly a Spiran native. The problem is that he obviously does.
"Lady Summoner - I'd like to thank you for all of your work at Mount Gagazet."
He says it with a certain solemnity that isn't quite the same as a Spiran native. Respectful, but not awed in the same way.
Before he good naturedly nudges Jean, "Why didn't you tell me you knew the Lady Summon-"
And then he seems to double take, giving her a long look. "-Wait-"
Putting a finger on his chin, he leans in, examining the Summoner more closely.
"Aren't you...?"
Pause... like he's making a weighty decision.
"Kaguya's bodyguard-! From the cafe! Hey!" Rubbing a hand across the back of his neck he grins, "Wow, I knew she was pretty open minded about her hiring practices but who'd have thought you'd go on to become a full fledged Summoner!"
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Pearl's on alert, of course she is. But she recognises Jean... and Hiro. It makes sense she wouldn't be alone, given everything. She gives a slight nod of her head to indicate she sees them. When they approach, she prepares to speak before Hiro performs the prayer. She blinks.
And then he starts talking, and Pearl remains... confused. "I-" She leans back as Hiro leans in, slightly panicked, and stares at him as he makes his decision. "...Ah. Yes." Okay. That's not what she expected. She looks to Jean. "You... haven't told him, then?" That surprises her a little, but... well, she didn't really want to bring it up herself. She shakes her head, and returns to the matter of Gagazet. "I just did... what I felt I needed to."
After a moment, she returns to Jean. "You are... approaching this more casually than I had expected." She expected her ready to fight if Pearl made one wrong movement instead of calm, collected. "Given all that has transpired."
<Pose Tracker> Jean has posed.
Jean could have insisted on coming alone... But then, trying to do things alone is something she's learned from. There's something to be said, for relying on her friends.
But Hiro's response to Pearl is not what Jean expects, either. SHe pauses, and then blinks--'Lady Summoner'. Hiro nudges her, and Jean blinks again, looking at him and at her, double taking herself before--
"Aah..."
Jean is a little chagrined. "I didn't realize he'd recognize you from elsewhere," Jean admits to Pearl. "Summoner... You have been up to a lot. I didn't realize..."
She shakes her head, and then moves towards the table, gesturing towards Hiro to sit down and then looking back at Pearl. Her expression is serious. "No one among us would joke about what you said. And I know you're not just going to replace him."
She lets that hang for a moment, before she says, "...This is Pearl. You know her as a Summoner, and as a bodyguard... but I know her as another member of the Shadow Dragon Cult. And she sent me a message saying our old Master is dead."
<Pose Tracker> Hiro has posed.
"That's still admirable..." Hiro says to Pearl's comment of doing what she needed to. Though he doesn't expound on that further why he thinks it is. It's the sort of mild praise one might say to anyone downplaying something good they did.
And... Jean...
Hiro suddenly catches something in his tone that makes him realize he missed something. "Wait..."
He looks full of questions, but Jean bids him to sit, and he does so, putting one leg then the other over the bench, looking between the two as he listens.
'Pearl.'
Hiro's eyes grow wide, then he looks back from Pearl, to the Summoner, and it's like he's now picturing an overlap of her in her Shadow Dragon gi.
He looks startled, but he's not exactly grabbing his blade or moving away defensively.
"... You're Pearl?"
Speechless for many long moments, he then looks at Pearl...
"... well..."
The awkwardness is palpable, but then Hiro simply states...
"... nobody's perfect."
As if those two words would simply excuse the fact that Pearl is a member of the cult. Tried to kill him. Very nearly did manage it. And had killed countless others.
Yet the very fact that she's appearing as a Summoner and is meeting with Jean like this seems to... balance the scales, even just slightly.
"... so he's dead... we haven't run across him since... Meribia."
Pause.
"Which you know... since you were there." He adds with no small amount of sheepishness on his part, rather than any sense of accusation.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Pearl looks away. "We have had a number of run ins," she speaks plainly, before addressing the second part. "I had been seeking any means to face Him. But becoming a Summoner was not a path I expected to take." Another Pause, and she looks down at the table. "...Thank you for thinking so highly of me, when I have given you no reason to do so."
Jean explains the situation, and she waits for Hiro's words. Condemnation. A sword at her throat. Instead...
"...That is all?" She looks up at him, confused and maybe... not angry at him, persay but. "After all I have done to you, that's it? I do not... Why?" She just stares at him. This is the man Jean chose to ally with? The one supporting the Lord of Calamity? One of the Guard's number one enemies? He is baffling.
She shakes her head, and takes a breath. When she reaches for her drink, it's obvious her hand is shaky. She takes a sip, and places it on the ground. "There's something you need to know about Him." She's not sure she wants to bring it up, but if anyone deserves to know, it's the woman in front of her. "I had time before he died. To unmask him. To discover who he was. To ask him why." She takes a breath. "The man... the man who did this to us... who destroyed our lives..." Just say it, damn you!
"Was Blue Master Lunn."
<Pose Tracker> Jean has posed.
"There's a lot of paths that turn out right that aren't the ones you'd have expected. It was like that for me and dancing," Jean answers first. Hiro looks full of questions, and that's pretty fair--but what he says, in the end, is just... nobody's perfect.
Jean actually smiles at that, the green-haired woman glancing down and then over at her friend, before she nods. "Hiro takes some getting used to. Don't feel too bad if you don't understand him. It took me a while to figure him out, too." She's fond as she says it, though.
There's a lot more she could say--but there is soemthing first that Pearl has to say, and Jean listens, moving to sit as well once the others have, and her eyes are right on Pearl's as she says there's soemthing she needs to know. To unmask him... "Yes," she says. "You saw?"
"He--"
Jean's eyes widen immediately in surprise--no, shock. Her mouth opens and closes, and she leans in closer, as if seeing more closely will help her hear somehow. "Wait--the Master was--"
"...But he--we asked him for help against... He had sent us to--"
He sent them to where the Shadow Dragon Cult attacked. He always seemed to know so much...
"And all that time, he pretended to be--" Pearl may be satisfied by the fact that she can see real anger in Jean for once, a fury that brings her hand to curl into a fist. "Then..."
...It neither overtakes her nor fades. She holds it there, breathing in carefully, and looks up to Pearl again.
"...Then you saved me, this time," Jean says simply. "Because I was going to seek out Blue Master Lunn in Pentagulia to learn whatever else he knew. I would've walked in completely unknowingly to his trap."
Not once does she say 'could you have been wrong?' or for a moment seem to doubt Pearl's account. Instead she just shakes her head, "The perfect disguise, I guess. But that means... Do you think the rest of the Cult knows he's dead? There's no way that people knew who he was--like Leo, he couldn't have known. And even you and I didn't know, in our positions..."
<Pose Tracker> Hiro has posed.
'That is all?'
Hiro seems to regather himself, and has this slightly sheepish smile.
"Well... it's just. What you said before... about doing what was necessary. It just reminded me of Jean I guess... the first time I met her."
'Get out of the way Hiro!'
'My body just... moved... before I knew what was happening.'
"She did something she wouldn't have wanted to do normally... but she did it because it was needed. So hearing you're Pearl..."
He cocks his head to the side, as if thinking about his own feelings, trying to articulate them.
"... I guess ... it just made me feel like I'm actually meeting you for the first time... that's all."
He turns to Jean and laughs light-heartedly, "Man, when you put it that way, I sound like some bratty kid you're minding or something..." He teases Jean, good naturedly. They both know there's a grain of truth in that, but that it's not actually like that.
He does however, fall silent, as the conversation moves to the Shadow Dragon Cult's master. This is why Jean came with them after all...
What didn't jolt Hiro about Pearl, does about Lunn.
"That's... not..."
... possible...
He almost says. It's absurd at face value. That Althena would raise a man like him to the position of one of the Four Heroes. A slaver of children. A murderer. An assassin's master.
Jean believes it though, and while he's speechless for long after his own statement of impossibility was cut off...
... it doesn't take long for the sense of it all to catch up to him, because Jean believes it. And when she does, he starts putting 1+1 together to equal... well, 2. "... he was manipulating us the whole time. To get the Dragon Kids to drop their guard..." He puts a hand up to his face, seeming ashamed, "... the whole tournament, it was just an attempt to try to bring you back into his fold..."
He says with a glance back Jean's way, scowling.
He doesn't want it to be true. "I had wondered if there were... elements like that infiltrating Althena's Guard, manipulating the events here in Spira..." His eyes lid, as he rubs his face, "... guess we can consider that theory confirmed..."
Hiro notably then falls silent, as if he's trying to recomport his thoughts back together.
Whatever questions he has right now about that... aren't as important as what Jean needs right now from this.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Hiro continues to confuse her. "I see." She doesn't.
When Jean seeks confirmation, Pearl simply nods. She can see Jean's anger, she had felt it herself in the moment. She had unleashed it on the old man. Now though, she seems a little defeated. "He told me that he wanted to be able to take hope from us too. To ensure we knew there would never be a miracle." A second nod confirms Hiro's theory. "...I was supposed to force Jean to use the style. Push her far enough to drive her to kill me, and bring her back." And she was prepared to, at the time. Death would have been release, and it would have meant Jean would be strong enough.
But now.... She was glad that wasn't the case.
"...Maybe." Pearl looks away again. "But even with Leviathan's help, I didn't expect to survive the attempt, let alone kill him. I'd just hoped I'd do enough that someone could finish the job." Her thoughts linger on Pentagulia, for a moment, but she moves on.
"...I do not think so. At most the masters who have been serving since he started the cult, but most of them have been killed and replaced. I don't believe any of the older ones are in Spira though." She nods to Hiro. "A small contingent, as far as I can tell. Perhaps enough to start a new cell." She pauses. "I do not know... exactly where. The rest are still in Meribius and Glenwood, I believe."
She takes a breath. "The longer they don't know the Master is dead, then the longer they continue his practices. The longer they keep repeating their crimes." Our crimes. "But if it becomes common knowledge, they go to ground and become harder to hunt down, and it's harder to free them." And who will hunt them down?
"It comes back to my question... What do I do now?"
Something's off there, for the astute. Pearl is trying to keep a measured, calm face. Trying to keep her cool. But she's struggling. Distressed. Unsure. When you've been caged and leashed all your life, freedom... might be terrifying.
<Pose Tracker> Jean has posed.
"Hiro..." Jean remembers the time Hiro is talking about, after all. It's nice, in a way. As is... the teasing, in this case, that prompts a grin from her. "And maybe you do need someone looking after you, with all the trouble you end up in."
But there is not a lot of space for levity in this matter, and Jean's feelings are obvious here. What he says, the planned manipulation... Jean looks down, and inclines her head. "It almost worked," she says. "I did draw on the style, like I had against the Hyadeans. Just... not far enough for him. Not then."
"To take hope..." Jean shakes her head. "Well, he reached too far. In the end, his 'power' wasn't enough after all."
"...I didn't know how it would go when I finally went against him again either," Jean admits. "But whatever would've been, we know what is, now."
The other masters... "Yeah. I bet some of them, maybe, but it's as you say. He'd probably have kept the oldest back in Meribia, to keep the Cult going fresh..." A small contingent. "Well, I don't think it's a matter of 'if' but 'when' they'll come up again."
But the longer they don't know... It's as Pearl says. Jean sees it--Pearl can see it in her eyes, that same statement. Our crimes. "Right. That's the question." She looks to Hiro, and nods. "The Guard aside..."
"Well."
"Here's what I'm going to do. With him gone, my responsibility isn't. I'll find each of his sub-masters who want to keep pursuing his ends, and show them the futility of their style's power. I'll free the others, the ones I left behind... like you. It probably means I have a lot of fighting left ahead of me... But I've made my peace with that."
"...It'd be easier if I could tell you what to do, wouldn't it?" Jean says then, and reaches out her hand. "And I could. If you want, I'll try to guide you from here. I owe you that much. ...But the truth is..."
"You won your own freedom from him. You don't have to do any more than you already have. But..."
"...Being free and being free aren't the same thing. You'll have to deal with your past, one way or another--decide on a future for yourself. Do you want to make up what you've done to people, to try to do good in the world? ...Or do you want to just be left alone? That's the real question, Pearl. It's not just what do you do, because you could do anything, now."
"The question I have for you is... If your life is yours now, and it is--then what do you want to do? It took me years to figure that out, and for a long time... all I was really doing was just avoiding the past. So that you don't know yet... That's okay, too."
<Pose Tracker> Hiro has posed.
It's a nice moment, but... there isn't a lot of room for levity.
Hiro takes Pearl's understanding at face value. His eyes go wide as Pearl basically indicates she went along with a plan to commit suicide by Jean.
"But that's...!"
The word 'horrible' is unsaid. It's obvious. Anyone could know that is what he meant to say.
And then he visibly seems to calm down, "... in... the past."
As if he were digesting an unpleasant truth as if it were reality. Learning Jean was an assassin was... similar. It was hard for him to believe, but he accepted it.
Just like he is now, when Jean says she almost did draw upon the style. It's an interesting mix of emotions hearing that Pearl called upon Leviathan to kill Lunn. A Spiran Aeon to kill a mastermind, a slaver, and a murderer who helped orchestrate this bloodshed against Spira.
It's poetic, even if it makes his stomach churn.
He wishes she hadn't killed him but...
... he's not going to condemn it either. He can't know what Jean and Pearl went through at his hands. Not really.
Instead he just listens as Pearl outlines the structure of the cult. And her fears of what might happen if Lunn's death becomes common knowledge.
Hiro takes a deep breath. Suddenly the choice of telling Leo becomes so much harder.
A hand rubs his face... as Pearl asks what she should do now.
And he finds himself listening to Jean's answer. Part of him wants to say what Jean eventually decided, that living towards the future she wants requires reconciliation with the past... however...
"I don't think it's really my place to weigh in on this except..." He offers this small shrug, "... well... whatever you decide... know that you can always come to us with your problems... and I'll do my best to support you in living the life you want for yourself."
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
They were both complicit, weren't they? Even if it hadn't been by choice, they'd done it. Could what they've done been wiped away so easily? Was she absolved just because she'd murdered the man who had done this to them?
Or was she still a murderer, a monster, now and forever, running from justice?
She doesn't meet Hiro's eyes. "...That is how it was." She says, simply. "Our lives didn't belong to us. They belonged to him."
Jean lays out her plan. To go and show them the futility of her ways. "Isn't that..." My duty, she wants to say. Her responsibility, as the one who killed Lunn. But unlike Jean, she only knew how to kill. And that's how she'd resolve it. "...Can you do it, as you are?" It's tinged with concern, not just fear that she would fail.
Initially, Pearl flinches away as Jean extends her hand, and the reasoning should be obvious to anyone who knows her background. Touch means pain. It takes her a few seconds to reach out again, cautious to put her hand in Jean's but at least... prepared to try. She listens, and her eyes look up at Jean's. She's proof you can move forward, even a little. But she called it running. She pauses. What she wanted to do? Had anyone ever asked her that. It takes her a few moments. "...I made a promise. To fight Sin. If I survive that..." If Lady Yuna succeeds... "After that, I'd... I'd like to hope I'd do something good." Her eyes are tearing up. It could be easy to confuse her for a different woman than the violent psychopath she was.
It's Hiro that startles her. "Why?" She asks, confused and teary. "I can understand Jean, but not you. I tried to kill you and your friends. Repeatedly. Why do I suddenly deserve your help? Your forgiveness? Your sympathy?"
<Pose Tracker> Jean has posed.
"As she says," Jean answers Hiro. Horrible--it's unsaid, but anyone could guess it. "All to fulfill his ideal of 'strength.'" She says it darkly--but her opinions on that are known. But this... Well. There is a certain poetry in Leviathan's role in ending Lunn, considering what Lunn helped to do to Spira. But Jean doesn't have to look much to Hiro for now; she knows him well, knows his quiet support....
"Her duty, Pearl wants to say, but Jean shakes her head. She knows what she's thinking--but she knows what she's thinking with the question, too. Can she?
"I'll just have to make sure I'm ready. Whether I can, or I can't--I have to. And I think... From when we fought before, I think I can."
Pearl is cautious... but she does it, and Jean curls her fingers about the other woman's, squeezing once. Not enough to hurt, just a little gesture of connection. Jean knows why she would hesitate--that's all the more reason.
"Knowing what that promise means... You still want to keep it. There's a lot you'd have to do to make that happen..." She considers, thoughtful.
She pauses, at Hiro's statement that startles Pearl, and at this she smiles. "He's like that," Jean says. "He means it. ...It's not about deserving, Pearl. I didn't 'deserve' the help of the caravan, when they took me in. I didn't deserve Hiro's friendship. But he gave it to me--they gave it to me. ...Because in the end, when all power does is take... The only thing that changes, is someone deciding to give, instead."
Jean nods, after a moment. "All right. If that's what you want... Then that's right."
She looks down, and then says to Hiro, "...Then, that settles it. Hiro..."
"I might need to be away from the group for a little while." She looks back to Pearl, "We can help each other. You need someone to train with you, to prepare for Sin, and... the Pilgrimage, if you're going to go on it. And I need to get ready to face the remaining Shadow Dragon masters. What do you say?"
<Pose Tracker> Hiro has posed.
Hiro finds his anger increasing immeasurably against a dead man at being told that their lives belonged to him. Oh certainly he'd seen it. He knew it.
It just makes it so much worse to hear his willingness to throw them away just to meet his goals.
Jean's confirmation just makes it worse.
His fist clenches beneath the table, and it takes him a while to unflex his fingers from curling into his palm. Allowing him to expel a breath.
"I think she can do it... because of who she is now."
Hiro says quietly, noting his support. Before listening to Pearl's... plans.
There's this... nod. He can't say it's approval.
He can't ever approve of someone sacrificing their life knowingly for such a goal. But he can't... tell her no in this moment.
She has a second chance, and it's her choice of what to do with it.
When she asks him why? ... with tears in her eyes. Jean answers first, and he looks sidelong at her, chuckling.
"She's... got the right of it. If you were an entirely self-interested person... you wouldn't have sent the Ronso that Heldalf slaughtered. You wouldn't be keeping a promise to fight Sin. You wouldn't be framing your question ... as whether you deserve what I'm offering or not."
Hiro says quietly, calmly, there's a ghost of a smile there. "Your life has never been your own Pearl... until now - right? You said it yourself. That doesn't mean you have no responsibility for the things you've done... but... it means the person you were was defined by him."
He weighs it for a few moments, "... And now the person you will be, is defined by you. I think I'd very much like to find out about who that person is... going forward."
And part of that implication is 'with you', as if Pearl herself might not know who she is, or whom she will be... yet.
His eyes look sidelong at Jean, and... he gives her the longest look, before closing his eyes, and inhaling a breath. "What do I say? I say... that I hate giving you up. I'm definitely going to miss our morning sessions." His volume drops just... subtly, emotionally, "I'm going to miss you. But... this is the reason you started travelling with us in the first place. You told us you needed to reconcile with your past in order to embrace the future."
Slowly he stands up, and he walks over to Jean, and lowers himself down to her side of the bench to wrap her in a tight hug, "But if you ever need anything... don't be a stranger. We'll always be there for you. Your fights remain our fights... even if it's only to cheer you on from the sidelines... okay?"
Eventually he releases her, and straightens back up, maybe trying to surreptitiously swipe at one of his eyes, as he mumbles, "Ah... I should... check us in. I imagine, the two of you have a lot to talk about that you won't need me listening in on."
Pause, "A lot of... you know... girl talk. Girl talk about liberating the remnants of a cult... and fighting Sin..."
Hiro looks sheepish as he departs back to the front desk.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Pearl starts to think she should not tell Hiro any more specifics. What had been common place for her seemed to be a source of rage. It probably should be. Her grey eyes are are again not making eye contact, as Jean shakes her head, seemingly knowing what Pearl is thinking. She listens. "...I hope so." It's quiet, but even she had realized she'd not be able to beat the master with the shadow dragon alone. But what she needed was to not rely on it at all.
The squeeze of her hand is not something Pearl is used to, positive physical contact is not something she's used to. "They're the only reason I'm here, now. I owe it to them." The 'them' is probably obvious at this point. But she's right, the only debts Pearl used to honour were ones when she had to get revenge.
It's not about deserving. She doesn't quite understand it. She'll just have to learn. Somehow. Hiro doesn't absolve of her guilt, but he does provide context, of sourts. "No one has ever wanted that of me before." She answers, frankly. And then she watches the conversation between Hiro and Jean, and slowly puts what's happening together. She's stepping away from her friends... for her? For training, but she could train with others, and then talk of the Pilgrimage... And then Hiro makes his exit, and Pearl follows his movements with her eyes, before turning back to the other woman.
Pearl stares at Jean is disbelief. "Are... are you offering to become my guardian?"
<Pose Tracker> Jean has posed.
Jean has ideas, about how--what to do. Things she can try to learn, things she can try to investigate. But she knows above all that she has to do it, and so that means taking the steps. So she listens, first to Hiro explaining to Pearl, and then...
"Heh, I may not have to be gone that much, depending. But I know you can handle things if I am. You'd better keep up your training, though, either way--or else when I get back we're going to have some rough times!"
....But it is the reason she started in the first place, that's true. "As soon as you have a lead on getting to Pentagulia, let me know--I'll keep my promise to help you and Lucia get to Althena, too."
"...Sure. I'll talk to you in a little while."
She looks back to Pearl, then--and nods. "Yeah. You owe a debt, I can respect that." Jean is no expert on Aeons or the Fayth, but she has picked up some; they are a subject of great importance in Spira. And eventually, when Pearl stares at Jean...
"Yep!" she answers with a little laugh and a smile, "I guess I am!" She doesn't lose that feeling, not even as she looks more serious. "...I don't know that I can go all the way to the end; I have my own promises to keep, too. But you're going to need all the help you can get. You're not from around here, you were with the invaders even... I don't know how friendly temples are going to be to you, even if you are a Summoner now. But here, and now, I can help you, and this is how."
"...I'm not from here either, so I don't know all the nuances of the title and everything... But I'm offering to train with you and watch your back for a while, and I think that's what that means."
"If you want to go on the Pilgrimage, I can at least help you get started. I couldn't protect you, back then... and I didn't, when I left."
"But if you'll let me, this is a way I can help you, until I can get to finishing things with the Cult for both of us."
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
She had honestly assumed she'd have to go it aoone. That she'd burnt all her bridges. The fact that someone would even offer to be with her part of the way... Those tears roll down her cheeks again, with a small smile on her face. "...Thank you." It's quiet, small, but genuine. What she can manage. "Thank you very much." Jean's concerns are... extremely valid, for so many reasons. But right now, it was a possibility she hadn't expected. Something that could help, if the temples will let her. Even if a part of her hopes to beat her to it.
But another concern runs through her head. Getting Lucia to Althena. Pentagulia. Hiro isn't here now, but it's not too late to raise her concern.
"Jean..." She hadn't sounded it out loud. Even for a self confessed non-believer. "Do you think Lunn could fool the goddess? Or did she know, and allow it?"
<Pose Tracker> Jean has posed.
Jean smiles at Pearl, and it's unreserved. She doesn't call her out for her tears, but she'll squeeze her hand again, given the chance. 'Thank you', from Pearl--that she can say it at all means a lot. It means a lot for both of them, that they could be free enough...
"Mm."
But another concern--there is a concern, yes. Jean quiets, as Pearl asks, and shakes her head after a moment, in that way that suggests she just doesn't know--but that's not all she says or does either. "That's..."
"He must have," Jean says, still believing that much. "But then, I don't know of any explanation of how Althena would have approved of this... crusade, or of the Guard and the Chosen's crackdown on music, and on people. The honest truth is that I don't know. I can only trust Lucia to be able to get through to her, when she finds her."
"But the Goddess I learned about from the caravan, the one who loved music and saved the people of Lunar long ago... That Goddess wasn't infallible, but she was never cruel. And that's the Althena I believe in. If I'm wrong... then Lucia will be able to do something about it. I'm sure of it."
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
That squeeze again is reassuring. It feels good. It means support. Actual suppport. Jean has confidence that Pearl lacks. She had always wondered what sort of Goddess could have allowed their childhood to happen. But so many seemed to believe in her. Completely and utterly.
"I hope you are right." She says, after a moment. "But there is so much rot..." Heldalf. Mauri. Lunn. Maltran. Pearl herself. There was so much rotten in Althena's house.
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I fear I am spoiling the mood." Pearl sighs, looking down.
<Pose Tracker> Jean has posed.
Jean has had a long time to be her own person--even if some of it was spent trying to escape something else, she's had time away from that life, and she has reason to have confidence.
"...For a long time I've had to keep the idea of Althena and her followers separate," Jean admits. "Whether I'm right to or not, who knows? We will know. That's what counts. One way or another, I believe in Lucia, at least."
"You have time to find the mood you want. From here on out... Your life is yours. Give yourself some time to get used to that. It takes time."
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Separating the followers from the goddess. Maybe it was possible. She'd have to see. It must be nice having someone to believe in.
Just as it is, right now, to seemingly have someone who believes in her. It's different. A good sort of different. Pearl nods, finally. "I see. I suppose I finally have time to take." That too, would take getting used to.