2021-07-22: The Significance of Names
- Log: The Significance of Names
- Cast: Xantia, Fei Fong Wong
- Where: New Kasim City
- Date: July 22, 2021
- Summary: Following the confrontation at the central dome of Zanarkand, Fei and Xantia fall down into the caverns below. Stuck in a place unknown with their friends missing, they decide that this is the perfect time to ask each other about what they learned of themselves in Shevat.
=============================<* New Kasim City *>============================= New Kasim City is the ruin of an ancient Zeboim-era city on Spira. It is covered entirely by the city of Zanarkand, established atop its ruins centuries and centuries after it was abandoned. Now, the city sits in a cavern. Many of its skyscrapers are cut off -- and the city is a small, compact place, to boot. The city is surrounded by huge steel walls, forming a "donut" of steel around the whole thing. Catwalks make the city have multiple levels, with stairs leading upward. Many parts of the city are powered still. Drones wander its streets; lights, including advertisements and other evidence of its inhabitants, can be seen. The buildings are in various states of disrepair, with the top floors having been destroyed. There are no residents here -- no Spirans ever made it down here, after the city was buried. Still, sometimes, fiends can be seen wandering... and the pyreflies, as ever, drift on by. BGM: Xenoblade Chronicles X - New Los Angeles
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Falling! It's not great! It depends on your point of view whether it's made any better by someone else clinging to you for dear life. At least you're not falling alone, but if you wanted to actually try to do something about it, it's probably not the greatest thing in the world that someone with super strength has your waist in a bear hug.
Still, even that's all that Xantia is physically doing, it's easy to tell that's not all she's doing. Though she mostly took action to make sure Fei didn't lose himself during the battle in Zanarkand, she quickly started to apply Ether in some form of another as well, to treat the rather nasty injury the Watcher inflicted on her brother. Rather than direct healing through Ether, it's more accurate to say that Xantia is directing Ether towards healing. Rather than actively healing Fei, she's aiding Fei in passively healing himself more quickly.
That was before the fall. During the fall, the faint white glow she was giving off already quickly becomes brighter, and spreads over to Fei as well. It feels pleasantly warm on the skin. There's not a whole lot of time to figure out exactly what she's doing this time... mainly because of the sudden end to the rapid plummet.
Xantia is forcibly separated from Fei at this time, bouncing unnaturally upon hitting the ground, then falling flat on her face on the second impact, remaining still. To Fei, similarly, it will feel more like he just hit rubber, the ground only having its normal solid consistency after Xantia let him go, and the white glow faded away. It's still far from a painless experience, but... not much chance of breaking bones, at least.
The groan coming from Xantia a moment later is evidence enough that she's still alive and conscious. She just needs a moment. The immediate surroundings, meanwhile, are mostly rock and dirt, as one might imagine from a hidden underground cavern... but there are traces of metal jutting out of the stone as well. Enough evidence to indicate that there's something more down here. Something not natural, but constructed.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei's hand extends up. Is it going to be like this, he thinks. It's really very easy to die if you think about it. At least he won't see the ground, he thinks, before he hits it and splatters across the floor. His gaze is distant, though, as if looking past the sky towards what lies beyond, as if trying to bring the galaxy beyond down to earth with his own hand.
And then he feels warm.
...I don't feel it
He hits the ground, bouncing several times before sliding to a stop some distance away. Neurologically, he feels he hit the floor harder than he did as the idea of being made 'bouncy' does not occur to him. He also hits the ground plenty of times after Xantia lets him go besides.
It isn't until he hears Xantia groan that he rolls over onto his back and stares up at the sky. His eyes slant towards the traces of metal and then he stands up and approaches Xantia.
"......"
He draws out the tricorder and scans Xantia for injuries, almost without thinking about it.
He doesn't say anything but he'll gradually treat Xantia's wounds such as they are.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Considering she was just in a fight and then fell who knows how deep, Xantia's injuries are a lot less serious than anyone would likely expect. Even so, it takes some effort to bring her back to land of the living, as it were. It appears to be exhaustion, more than anything else. She also mutters the word 'cold' a number of times in her half-conscious state, even though she doesn't actually feel very cold to the touch.
Finally, after some time passes, her eyes fly open, and she sits up abruptly. "Huh? What? Where?" She looks around in confusion, though immediately smiles when her eyes land on Fei. "Oh... Fei, you're alright!" And then immediately her brow furrows with concern. "Are you... you know... still you?"
She shakes her head and interrupts before there can be an answer, "Sorry, that didn't come out right, I mean... I was worried. Something was happening, and I felt like I might... lose you. And then... did we fall?"
Leaning back against the rock wall behind her, Xantia does her best to calm herself, and try to put the pieces of her memory back together. The fact that it's the recent past this time doesn't make it feel any less disturbing that she can't remember every detail of what happened.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"I'm always me," Fei says, snapping the tricorder closed. Xantia clarifies naturally even as he's saying it so he just kind of clamps his mouth shut after. He starts to ask, "Why did you do that?" as well but Xantia gives an explanation before he can get the words entirely out again. He then lets out a sigh and rubs at his forehead. "I must've really been worrying you."
He looks up. "Yeah, we fell a while. I thought we weren't going to make it. I appreciate you doing what you did but--emphatically--you shouldn't put yourself in harm's way just to protect me. Or lure me out of a bad mindset. You could get hurt."
He is quiet for a moment before adding, "And if you get hurt, that'd hurt me more than most anything."
He rubs at his forehead again before adding, "This place, the ruins must be nearby. I think Odessa--maybe even Solaris--is looking for something here. I have to imagine Elly got out of there in one piece too. I don't know if it's true or not but I have to imagine it so let's...just imagine that's what happened for now and hope we guessed right."
He glances to Xantia. "You shouldn't hunt Grigori for me either. She's one of the most dangerous people in the world. Not because of how strong she is, but what she's willing to do and the tools available to her to do it. I'm stuck on their radar, but the best chance you've got to evading their hunters is to not draw too much attention to yourself. Not until you're ready to strike."
He pauses a moment before adding, "Sorry, my head's a bit jumbled up right now. But you don't want to get on Krelian's radar."
Something seems to occur to him and he jars out of it even more before adding, "Oh! But--you probably learned a whole lot more about yourself that nobody knows now too! We didn't get a chance to talk about that--!"
Is this really the time?
"I bet Zephyr had a whole lot to say."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
The look of vague confusion Xantia gives Fei when he explains makes it clear that she still isn't quite sure what exactly she did. Everything from the moment she hugged him on is distressingly blurry. But at least she remembers the initial motivation.
"I just... yeah, I was worried. I mean, if it were Id... well, I don't know what he'd do, but I wouldn't have been so worried then." Evidently, she could tell something else was going on. Of course, there's no point in even trying to convince her she should be worried about what Id might do.
Xantia lowers her head slightly. "...I wasn't sure what was happening to you. But... it reminded me of what's happening to me. I just can't control myself when I fight Solaris. It's kind of frightening, but... I can't help but feel that I need to fight them. It's important that I do. Besides, even if I don't know the full reason why I feel that way, I'm not going to just... sit out. You know I could never do that."
She quiets down, just listening for a moment while she picks herself up to stand, stretching her arms and legs a bit. She isn't sure how badly hurt she was to begin with, but feels thankful that Fei was there to help all the same. She tenses up the moment Fei speaks Krelian's name.
"...Sorry Fei, but... if someone like Krelian appeared in front of me now... nobody could stop me from fighting him. It's the same for this... Grigori. It's true that I felt like I was doing that for..." For Id, she thinks, but she says, "...for you, at first. But what Grigori said... isn't wrong. Where it comes to Solaris, all I want to be is the weapon that brings them down."
Not about to get stuck on that thought, she quickly moves on, finally taking in the surroundings a little. "They want something here. So I want to make sure they don't get it, whatever it is. We should find the others and make sure we get to it first." In spite of everything, there's nothing wrong with her optimism - no doubt in her mind that everyone else is alright, too.
She's all ready to head out there and start looking right away, when she freezes in her tracks. This time, at the name Zephyr. It takes a moment for her to turn around to face Fei. She didn't want him to see her expression just now. When she turns, though, she looks perfectly cheerful, like she most often does.
"That's right, she did! I'm sorry I was so hard to get a hold of, after that... I had a lot to think about. I was thinking so much, I completely forgot when we were going to head over here. I didn't mean to be so late."
There's no outright lies in there, but she's certainly taking pains to beat around the bush. Even now, she doesn't feel quite ready to share, suggesting, "But, you talked to her too, didn't you? Can you tell me what she said to you first? I'm really curious!"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"...I'm sorry," Fei says. "I just... want you to live happier than I did but more than that I want you to live. When I die, whomever comes after me--I want them to remember you. Maybe even find you again so they aren't so alone." He seems to take solitude to be a given. Though considering how many people Fei knows, what Fei understands to be solitude may be a little strange.
Xantia says that what he was doing reminded him of what was happening to her. He knew that all along, of course. Id seems to recognize it too. They really are siblings, he thinks.
"Yeah... I know you can't sit out. Just like I can't stop telling you to sit out." He laughs for a moment at that before sighing.
"Krelian isn't someone you can beat by fighting," Fei says. "Grigori..." He hesitates. He's not sure about her so he just admits, "Maybe. But you won't bring down Solaris by beating it in a fight. Though you are right that we can't let them get whatever they're looking for here."
He glances to Xantia again. She doesn't say 'For Id', but perhaps he felt it all the same.
"Just be extra careful of Krelian. He's one of Lacan's old war buddies. I think."
Xantia can see his hand shaking. Fear? Not exactly. A kind of undercurrent of anxiety and desperation perhaps.
Does he sense the expression Xantia makes? Probably not. But the feeling behind it?
"Well, I learned the name of my father." Fei says. "Khan Wong, apparently. Wiseman was apparently an old friend of his. Grahf...probably killed my father but it's still nice knowing his name, and that he cared enough to rescue me from him. Guess that's why he's so obsessed with me. Maybe why he took so long to take me back. Might be behind my missing memories too but I'm trying not to think too much about that."
He quirks his head. "I think she gave Elly her new mech too but I wasn't around for that. She told me what Shevat did though, their 'sin'. I think she was being forthright with me. Mostly, at least. It wouldn't really surprise me if she left something out."
Why doesn't that bug him?
"But I think she does feel genuine guilt over what her ancestors did at least. And the villagers from Lahan are living there now, so I'm grateful to them for that at least."
He walks up to Xantia, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Sis, you can tell me anything. But I'm not going to push you if you're not ready. You don't have to suffer alone and I know I'm being kind of hypocritical here but--well, you know. Whenever you're ready."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It's easy enough to tell when Xantia doesn't know what to say. Mainly because when she does, she usually just says it, regardless of circumstances. Talk of death is difficult enough, but Fei's circumstances... she can't even begin to imagine this perspective. Of knowing there will be another. How could she even argue, it's not as if she could promise the same. There's really only one response she can think of to give.
"...That's not fair." Said in a quiet, almost petulant voice. She may not have any way to directly go against it, but as is her wont, that only makes her want to fight back even more. So she takes a different route, taking a defiant tone. "But I think you overestimate me. You think I'd die for you? No way! I'm not dying for anybody! It'll just make people sad, and I won't be able to cheer them up anymore, that wouldn't help anyone! And YOU." She taps Fei on the chest. "You think I won't be sad if YOU die? That I'll be fine with a replacement? No way, again! No matter what you think, from my point of view, there's still only one you. I don't want anyone else to be my brother. No one else can! So... so how about nobody dies, huh?!"
She needs a breather after that one. Perhaps this is why when the topic of Solaris is broached, she no longer argues. "...you think so, huh? Well, if you're that worried about Krelian, I guess I'd better take that seriously. I just... don't know if I'll be able to think straight, if I see a chance to go after him. Your turn to hold me back, maybe?" She chuckles, mirthlessly, before adding with a straight face, "...I mean it, hold me back if I'm about to do something stupid. Chances are, at the time, I won't be able to tell."
Even if this may not be the best time to discuss this, Xantia still is eager to hear what Fei was told. She has no problem with taking it all at face value. "Huh... so that's how it was. Well... I don't know how you feel about it, but it must be good to know at least, right? To just... be able to be sure?" It's what Xantia wants more than anything, she's said that often enough. Whatever she was told by Queen Zephyr, it's probably already obvious that she still doesn't know what that feels like.
She grows quiet when the topic turns to Shevat's 'sin', and freezes up completely when he mentions Zephyr having 'left something out'. She just stares at Fei after that. Why doesn't that bug him?
She averts her eyes when Fei steps closer, starting a bit when she feels his hand on her shoulder. It's clearly true that she feels uncomfortable about something. But it also doesn't exactly feel like she'd ever be more ready to share. And so, she doesn't shy away, raising her head slowly.
"...She said that she's pretty sure I've never been to Shevat. But, there was someone who looked like me, a long time ago. Xenia. ...A different Xenia. Her Ether affinity was so strong that her body couldn't handle it. But, she didn't have children, or any family. So... I don't know what that makes me."
She can't suppress another humorless chuckle, as she wonders, "Who knows. Maybe I do come back."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
It's strange, isn't it? It normally would.
You think I'd die for you? No way!
Fei listens to Xantia. He does always listen. He thinks about her words but lets her get it all out before he tries to speak. He wouldn't be able to get one over Xantia even if he tried. But he eventually takes in a deep breath and says, "Yeah. You're right. They'd all be sad. I'd be sad too. So--yeah," He smiles. "Don't die and... well, I'll try not to either. I certainly don't intend to, not until I've had a nice long life. I want to experience old age and slowly lose my hearing and...well I don't really know what else. It's hard to come up with a plan there."
He smiles, "Filgaia's a rough world though, so we'll have to work hard to stay alive. We can help each other but... Well, be careful. I'll try to be too."
He does seem VERY worried about Krelian. "Heh, maybe. If I can hold myself back." Look it's not like Fei ever pretended to not be a hypocrite here. "Maybe it'll be Elly." But he does nod. "But okay. That's a deal."
Fei quirks his head when Xantia looks at him. Why ISN'T he bugged? "...I guess thanks to Doc I'm just used to it."
There's more to it but he isn't sure he can articulate it so he holds off for now. Instead, Xantia mentions what happened in Shevat. Someone who looked just like her? But the name's different--
Clones?
"...Well," Fei says. "Whatever you are, you'll still be my sister, and my friend, and all our friends and--a great drifter hero. I don't know what you were meant to be, but what you turned out to be was pretty great. I... know that me saying that isn't really that great of a salve but... On the bright side, you did learn a little more about yourself."
"And you have met Xenia. Or a Xenia anyway. That's pretty big steps from when we just kept running into a lot of nothing right?"
Maybe she does come back?
"Well don't test it." Fei laughs nervously.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia raises a finger when she hears the words 'be careful'. That reminded her of something. "Ah, yes, this is where you say 'Careful is my middle name', isn't it?" Whoa, she got it right!
"...But that's strange for me to say. I don't know my last name, if I even have one, so how could I have a middle name? Even if it were part of my name, it wouldn't be in the middle." Aaaand she kind of sabotaged herself by overthinking it. Well, she's better at this than she used to be, at least. Even if she did distract herself enough to not really give too much of an answer there, in the end.
It's debatable whether Xantia even could claim to be careful in any way while keeping a straight face. Being hypocritical in that way certainly isn't something that she is a stranger to. You have a different frame of reference when things that shouldn't work out end up working out for you anyway most of the time.
"So... Elly holds you back while you hold me back? Weird deal, but alright." She seems amused by the whole thing, but she's probably seriously expecting that's how it'll turn out.
Funny thing - Xantia was about to blurt out that she never once suspected Citan of not saying everything he knows, but now that she thinks about it she could easily think of half a dozen instances where it turned out that had been the case. She really should have been more used to that, huh? Still... this doesn't exactly feel on the same level.
Fei's reassurance seems to have limited effect, only prompting a small smile from Xantia. "That may be, but... I'm going to need those missing answers, still. Until I know who I was, I need to keep searching."
She presses her lips together tightly when the other Xenia is brought up. "She... may be the best chance I have for those answers, now. But she's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want me to have those answers. It won't be easy to make her talk. If that isn't possible... we may have to find Herod."
Naturally that name will come as a surprise, but Xantia pauses a moment before elaborating. "Hearing that name made me remember something." A memory that wasn't her own, but she doesn't see the need to get into that right now. "I also know that he was engaged to Xenia. Putting the pieces of my memory together, I think that 'Herod' is probably 'Father'. It would all make sense that way. I have no idea where he is right now, but if we could find him... that could be another way to learn about me."
Xantia takes Fei's hand suddenly, looking him straight in the eyes. "But listen, Fei... you can't tell anyone else about Herod. That's... something Queen Zephyr didn't tell me. I heard it from someone else. There must be a reason why she tried to keep it a secret. If they know we know..." She doesn't finish that sentence, not knowing what would actually happen, but she's clearly worried about it.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"We could pick one." Fei says. "What kind of middle name would you want if you could just pick. And then we can figure out a last name eventually."
Fei knows that Xantia is about as careful as he is optimistic but it's the best he's going to get so he accepts it. "We'll get in a nice line and they'll be too confused to bother us. They'll be vaguely embarrassed and leave us alone and that, s'far as I'm concerned, would be a great victory."
It's true that it's probably not on the same level but Fei figures if he gets any more revelations in the short term he'll probably EXPLODE so he's going to try and avoid that.
Xantia only unleashes a small smile.
"Well you won't do it alone. If you'll still have us and maybe give us a chance to catch up now and then."
Xenia doesn't want Xantia to have answers and Fei does admit, "Well I can't say I don't have my sympathies there. Like we've talked about before, sometimes I wonder if it isn't better to just forget." He smiles. "But we'll cross that bridge when you remember I guess. Whatever happens we'll do it together."
Fei blinks blankly at the name Herod. "Herod?" He asks. "Is that name familiar to you?"
He might be asking the other guy there.
But he does quirk his head. "Does that mean we're chasing your mom not your sister?" Your sister mom??? He rubs at his forehead.
"--Oh she..didn't mention?" He frowns. "That's a pretty big thing to hold back. I can't imagine it was something she did out of spite." Maybe she's afraid of him?
But he does nod once and says, "Your secret's safe with me. I'm not saying we can trust Shevat entirely--but I think they are being MOSTLY straight with us and that's--about as good as it gets sometimes."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia frowns and pouts a bit at Fei's suggestion of picking a middle name. "Feiii, there's no point unless it's my real name. You know how I feel about that, stop teasing me." She can take it mostly in stride by now, but... there was a time when the only thing she was completely sure about was her first name. It's an anchor she takes very seriously.
No harm done though, Fei manages to get her to laugh in short order. "That sounds like fun, actually. We could call it the Train Style. We should come up with all sorts of weird ways to fight and confuse people, they won't know how to deal with it!"
Though naturally, where it comes to forgetting, Xantia firmly shakes her head no. "If anything, her not wanting me to know only makes me want to know more. That's how secrets work. If you know they're there, of course you're going to want to find out what they are. That won't discourage me at all!"
Of course Xantia explains what she knows about this Herod, thinking that question was for her. Chances are that's all they'll have to go on - Shevat keeps to itself, and Herod never made a name for himself beyond there. Not someone that the Other Guy would have been likely to care much about to begin with. He's not even strong.
As for Xantia, she makes a displeased noise at the notion of possibly dealing with her mom. "I did feel that 'Xenia' is 'Mother', that's true. But... she doesn't look very far from whatever age I am. Ugh, I really hope this doesn't mean there's a third person who looks like me and uses that name. As much as I'd like more leads, that's just... too much."
On Shevat, she does nod and agree, "I don't think anything they did say was a lie. But to not tell me something that important, about something she knew was really important to me..." She curls her fists, but her anger has nowhere to go, and after a moment she just sighs. "I guess there's no way to know why. But, again, now I want to know what the big secret is. I have to know."
She sighs deeply, and rubs the back of her head. "Well, anyway... that's all I know for now. I guess we did both learn the names of our fathers, one way or another. That's important."
Idly kicking a rock, she is surprised to hear the sound of it impacting metal in the distance, only now really processing the unusual nature of where they ended up. "I wonder what this place is... we should go find out, don't you think?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"I'm not teasing you--I mean, a name you pick yourself--isn't without meaning." Fei looks down, embarrassed. "Ah but--Yeah, I understand why you wouldn't want to. I wasn't trying to say you should give up on it but--well," He pauses a moment and then adds, "Hold up, they never mentioned 'Herod's' last name?"
Apparently Id doesn't recognize the name. Or is keeping it to himself. It's hard to know with that guy. He certainly knows a bit about the Shevat from 500 years ago. After that? Who knows.
"The fact that the name is so similar though. That must mean something right?" Fei asks. He's still not sure it's the clone theory because the Xenia wrinkle keeps things complicated.
"...When we get back to Filgaia I could ask her?" Fei asks. "I mean, you might not like to hear it--but she might've just forgotten." He frowns. "But it's pretty weird to not just mention a name if she meant to not say it. I mean... that suggests that the name is important rather than just another extraneous detail that might not even be helpful."
He considers, cupping his chin. "I guess we're not really in a position to ask right now, but maybe once we're done here we'll be able to investigate further. Someone must've known about the name right? Besides her? Otherwise you wouldn't know it."
He brightens. "But yeah! We did! And that is important. One step closer! ... Maybe Herod IS his last name. Xantia Herod? Does that feel familiar in order like that?"
He does nod though, "This place? Ehh, it's probably not too important or relevant to us but-- yeah we should check it out."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia slides her hand forward over her forehead. "Y'know, that does bother me. I've been to Xenia's... resting place. ...not the one that's still around, obviously. And there was no last name. I never learned more than 'Herod', either. But..."
Xantia seems to be mulling things over again. It's probably not hard to imagine her getting lost in thought like that over all this. But she's quick to snap out of that when Fei suggests to simply ask about it. "Oh no no no, you can't do that! The queen can't find out that we know. I..." She goes into pondering mode for a few moments longer, before she shakes her head. "There's something else that I'm still figuring out for myself, so don't ask me how I know this, but... Herod and Queen Zephyr did not get along. I'm positive. You haven't-- I mean, I... I've gotten a glimpse of what Zephyr is like when she's angry. I don't want to get her angry."
Realizing she's creating questions by saying this, she repeats, "Please, don't ask right now. I'll tell you when I can explain it better. I promise."
It's easy to tell that's she genuinely concerned in how she's quieted down considerably. She only smiles faintly and shakes her head at Fei's name suggestion. "Thanks for trying to help me. But it's okay, really. I'll... figure out what I want to do later. We've got other things to worry about right now. You want to find Elly, right? So let's go!"
Speaking of being hypocritical... looks like Xantia is now the one keeping something secret, at least for the time being.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"Maybe people from Shevat don't have--no wait, I have a last name." Fei frowns, now having an existential crisis. "Oh I mean... It doesn't really surprise me that 'Herod' and Zephyr didn't get along. Or aren't on the same side--I mean, if they were--he'd be here right? Xenia wouldn't be feeling like she had to kung fu battle you every time you get close to the truth. Well--it's your choice obviously."
He smiles. "Just offering ideas. I want to help, but I can't promise I have good ideas."
He nods a little and adds, "Well you've got us. We might not be bright all the time but we're loyal."
You want to find Elly, right? Shit, he got distracted by worrying about Xantia and now he's worried about Elly!
"Y-yeah, we better find her quick."
They may end up conveniently separated for the dig though.