2021-11-14: Stepping Out of the Shadows
- Log: 2021-11-14 Stepping Out of the Shadows
- Cast: Pearl, Talia, Seraph Amaranth, Ivan
- Where: Magic City Vane
- Date: November 14, 2021
- Summary: It is time for a long overdue confession. It should not be received warmly.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Pearl is only a recent visitor to the Magic City of Vane, having had an important discovery to talk about. Now she's been there for several days, mostly in the library in a state of wonder. While Bevelle was better stocked, it was almost purely religious texts. And she wasn't free to study. Now she has time, freedom, and the will to learn. Lemina's private shelves donation box has been... filling up.
But for all that, that's not what today is about. Today is about something more personal. More serious. Something she has to tell people who deserve to know. Have deserved... much better from her.
Finding a place that offers privacy, but also space for all parties to leave in a hurry if they so desire in Vane is hard. Hard, but not impossible. In the common area, there is a table under the shade of some trees, where a gap in the trees leads towards the Guild. A desire path, left by students long past, who wished to sneak out. There is a beat up old table, with an assortment of movable wooden stools that have seen better days. Pearl sits at one end, the end closest the trees. She had been debating what to do, how to show this would good faith.
As such, there is a small covered platter set out. The platter is set with a number of small triangular sandwiches, with lettuce, tomato, mutton and a mild mustard with the crust still on, as well as several without the meat just in case. In all the meetings to discuss important information she has had with normal people, food has been part of it, right? There's also a large jug of clean water and some metal mugs. This is what regular people do, right? Right? Lord Yvain, don't steer her wrong.
For now, Pearl sits, and waits nervously, but doing her best not to show it. Next to her, a small round bulb like creature snores merrily, sleeping against her leg.
<Pose Tracker> Talia has posed.
Talia stays in Vane sometimes -- with Amaranth, mostly -- but the twins' efforts to look for a specific person has them traveling a lot. The former assassin (in a cluster of them) has been a little tired, lately; she would blame it on being focused.
When Pearl reached out -- as she now has a basic understaning of the situation -- she agreed to come. She spots the location for what it is: pleasant, but easy to leave.
The sandwiches look good, though. One eyebrow is raised as Talia walks up; she looks at Leo, Jr., and then she looks back at Pearl.
"Ah," she says. "Hello! I didn't think we would be meeting like this, exactly, no?"
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Amaranth has posed.
Amaranth is... kind of known as the guardian of the Library of Vane, in a way -- chalk it up to having lived there for literal centuries, first known as a murmured whisper as a ghost inhabiting the library... and from one rare Resonant librarian to another, it's grown a little bit from there.
It's also, importantly, a place of comfort for her -- so it seems like a pretty good place for this. She appears -- Katherine appears, that is -- dressed in her usual Sunday best, with her frilly dress as usual! Her lilac hair is bound in two low ponytails, and her dress is white and blue with a red sash as is often the case with her.
There's a quiet pause as she observes Pearl, perhaps a bit hesitant from last time... but she knows that if she wants to have a conversation, knowing what's happened, that... things have turned a corner. And, well -- Talia seems more okay with it.
"Hello," she smiles, holding up a little cake platter with a stack of macarons on it. "I thought I would add to the treats, since I made some last night. It has been a while."
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
Ivan has been spending much of his time traveling with Talia lately, as they undertake their search. This means he shows up along with her, and lingers about a step behind her making weird faces as he takes in the sight of Leo Jr., the troubled Pearl, and the table set with sandwiches.
If Ivan knew the thinking that went into the sandwiches, he would probably commisserate. But instead, as it is, he looks from the sandwiches to Katherine's macarons and assumes he's missed some point of social etiquette where you bring snacks when you're going to discuss grim things. He awkwardly sets a healing potion down on the table and then backs away.
"...I didn't think to bring food," he explains.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Pearl looks up as the group arrives, and readies herself. She doesn't wake the strange onion creature deliberately, but she stands up to greet her arrivals with a bow, he falls over and wakes up with a 'Pkyu!!' Pearl invites the group to sit, removing the cover from the platter. "Thank you all for coming. Please help yourselves." She takes one for herself, perhaps to indicate they are not poisoned, but she's hungry and they're pretty damn good sandwiches. She takes a bite, and nods to Talia. "I... suppose? I do not know exactly how to determine how one would meet such an expectation. My apoloigies." There's no sarcasm in her rather flat voice, but she's hard to read, despite her best efforts. But genuinely, she is somewhat clueless. "You are Ivan's sister, correct?"
She can see Katherine Weaver's hesitancy, and she can't blame her. Pearl is wary herself. Leo Jr, however, is not wary. He sees the macarons and bounces up and down 'Fuu! Fuuu!' Pearl looks down at him. "Do not be rude, Leo Jr." She looks at Amaranth's tray of Macarons with curiousity and bewilderment. "Thank you. I have not seen anything like them before, may I?" Pearl pauses, not reaching without permission, but if/when it is granted, she takes two, feeding one to Leo Jr- who eats it whole- and taking a bit herself, her eyes widening. "It is very sweet." A Beat. "I like it very much, what is it called?"
Pearl gives a faint smiles to Ivan- faint smiles seem all she can do- and shakes her head. "There is no need. Your friend's generosity is unexpected, but appreciated." It feels strange, to keep up the ruse but.... To do so before revealing herself would be a problem. She finishes the macaron, and takes a deep breath.
"...I apologize again, but there is much I must reveal to you, and I feel you should hear it from me. If you wish to leave, I will not stop you, but I request that you do not act until I speak my piece. This may be a hard request, I understand." She takes another breath, centering hrself. "As you know, my name is Pearl. I served in Althena's Guard with Ivan, and in that time he told me he was looking for spy."
Pearl looks forward. She can't make eye contact with three people at once. But she's trying to address the group at once. "...I was that spy. I was a member of the Shadow Dragon Cult. And I was in the opposition to you when the Shadow Dragon Master tried to recruit you," she looks to Ivan, "and tried to kill the two of you." She bows her head, deeply. "I do not deserve your forgiveness. But you should know the person you are 'allied' with, and it is your right to reject me, or seek revenge for my actions. But you deserve to know. Nonetheless, I apologize."
<Pose Tracker> Talia has posed.
Talia glances sideways at Ammy and flashes her a quick smile. There is a nod as she puts her platter down. Then, she looks at Ivan -- blinks at the healing potion -- and opens her mouth to say something. She thinks better of it, though, and closes her mouth.
Sometimes, you just have to let these things happen.
She stares -- and then smiles -- at the strange, onion-like creature. She takes a sandwich, too, and has a bite. She nods her head.
"I am!" she says. "Talia. It is nice to meet you, no?"
She winks at her -- and then she shakes her head once. "I, ah, am happy to hear the request." She is quiet, then; she lets Pearl explain. Her eyes widen, as she does. There is a gasp.
"Then--" She hesitates. "You... were there. You--ah." She hesitates, a moment more, and looks down. "You... no longer work for him, then?"
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Amaranth has posed.
There's a smile from Katherine at the cute onion creature -- something she hasn't seen before, but, awww, adorable. She sits down gently and nods as she takes one of the sandwiches... maybe as a gesture in return for Pearl's.
Pearl asks if she may have one, and she gestures with a nod -- "These are macarons. I actually only learnt how to make them in Filgaia... I can give you the recipe later, if you'd like."
But she says she has something to reveal -- and explains that she is Pearl... a spy under the Althenan Guard -- and that she was a member of the Shadow Dragon Cult... and tried to kill the two of them. And by that extension... all that has happened when they were in Spira too.
She looks towards Talia, since this is just as much of her piece, but... she puts two and two together, from what she knows. She was once a member of a -- progenitor to the Shadow Dragon Clan, after all, and if she's here explaining all this... ... it is because there is no threat left from the master. Which lines up with the news about the Shadow Dragon leader being gone as well.
"It is not easy... to break from an abusive cycle like the ones you -- we -- were both in," Katherine responds, seemingly from experience. "I know this is difficult."
Her glance moves over to Talia and Ivan, because this is as much their say as hers. "On my part... I'd like to try to move on. Because the last thing I want is to give our abusers more power over us, even in their graves. Does that make sense?"
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
Ivan looks relieved to find he didn't need to bring a snack, but doesn't move to take a sandwich, more because he's preoccupied with learning what she wanted to share with them than because he's worried or even thinking about the possibility of poison.
Do not be rude, Leo Jr.
"Leo has a son who is an onion??" Ivan whispers in a panic to Talia, in the moment completely forgetting an onion-beast-adoption-related anecdote Pearl had once relayed to him about her adventures in the Guard.
But they settle at the table, and the mood rapidly shifts to a darker place as Pearl begins her confession. Partway through, Ivan stands up with alarm, balling his fists to hold himself back from interrupting her partway through, or maybe from lunging at her to interrupt with more than his voice.
When she finishes, he blurts harshly, "--What do you mean 'in the opposition'!? -- did you stand and watch? Were you a part of it? Talia almost died!"
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Shock is expected. The silver haired girl, after her initial speech, is not meeting anyone's eyes. And while Leo Jr knows his summoner is struggling. But so are others. This is a dilemma. Pearl shakes her head. "I am not. No one is. He is dead. I slid the knife into his heart, and ended it quickly and clean. I confirmed he was dead." She grimaces. "But I had no time to ensure he was sent. Despite that.. the cult is in disarray and on the retreat."
Talk about the recipe is discared in the moment, as she expects a harsh response and... Katherine does not deliver. Perhaps because of what she experience. Perhaps because she didn't make it to where Pearl did. She silently accepts her comment, but her head bows deeper.
"I mean I fought you." She says, bluntly but not coldly. This is the reaction she expected. The one she deserves. Ivan is entitled to his rage, and she will not try to mitigate it. She deserves to experience it. And worse. "I was ordered to keep you occupied so that L- so that the Shadow Dragon Master could break your will. I failed, but I nonetheless did so. I wil not shy from my deeds, nor your judgment."
There is more to say, but... she will not step on Ivan's grief and anger.
<Pose Tracker> Talia has posed.
"I--I think it is just a name, Ivan," Talia answers Ivan in a whisper. She stares at him for a second. "A-At least, I think so, no? I... I couldn't imagine.."
She looks back at Pearl. She nods her head at what Amaranth says, and she looks ready to say more. But Ivan raises his voice -- and her eyes widen -- and then her eyes track to the left. She remembers, then, that the cult's master died.
"Ivan.." Talia says. She can remember it; the pain of being stabbed, of bleeding out in front of her friends, of watching them fight as she lay helpless. A shiver runs down her spine.
He is dead. Amaranth reminds her; Pearl confirms it. She looks to the side, for a moment, and then she shakes her head.
"...it's all right, no?" she says. She looks at her brother, but not for long. There is something uncomfortable in her eyes, and she can't meet anyone else's. "It's--I've... done things that are terrible. That hurt others. Because... because I was told."
Talia glances down, her expression heavy. "I won't hate you for that, no? It would be like hating myself."
Which isn't that hard for her.
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Amaranth has posed.
Katherine is a little quiet, as Ivan blurts his piece out; she can't really fault him at all, and some part of her wonders if she's going a bit easy -- but she's had yeeeeeeeears to temper all this out in a way other haven't. A longer pause.
"There are... people who still live in my dreams that I wish I could apologise to, but never will be able to," Amaranth points out.
She nods at Talia's resolve, with a smile; her hand moves towards hers, and she gives her a light squeeze.
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
I mean I fought you.
A tongue of fire flickers off of Ivan's arm, though he didn't call it voluntarily. It's just a thing that happens lately when his emotions flare--fire does, too.
"When that happened, I swore I'd do something about it. Kill everyone involved if I had to." This may be news to Talia and Katherine -- he promised them he wouldn't do anything rash. He grits his teeth.
"But-- you ended it. You killed him. And I couldn't even find you and you were right under my nose." Not only was she their enemy, she did what he couldn't. He's angry about that when he should be grateful.
He looks to Talia and Katherine, both earnest in their forgiveness and both taking personal meaning in that forgiveness, from the parallel between Pearl's situation and their own. It was Ivan's situation, too. But he always told himself his choices were his own, and he'd be willing to face retribution if anyone harmed by him ever came for it. But Talia was the one harmed, not him. He looks back at her again.
"Are we... are we all just letting it go? That's fine. I can let it go." He turns away, arms folded and shoulders jumping with fire. He does not seem to be letting it go.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Pearl continues to look down as Talia lays out her reasoning. She looks up slowly, but does not meet anyone's eyes. She gives a small nod. "...I understand. Thank you." She does rather understand that. It's quite easy for one who has done what they have done to hate themselves. Wouldn't you? Amaranth too, talks of the people in her dreams, and Pearl nods. Every single one, how they died, the reason- or lack thereof- burned into her brain forever. It's grim.
But Ivan's fire spurts forth and Leo Jr lets out a startled 'Pukyuu!!' and leaps back in front of Pearl, the little Guardian taking his place even as Pearl tries to dissuade her with an arm. This time, she looks up to face Ivan, to face his hatred and rage. She was right under his nose. "...I had assistance I did not know of." She replies, as if to ease his self hate. It won't help. "...You should know something, about the Shadow Dragon Master." She looks forward again, simultaneously freed and afraid to say it in the open. "He was the Blue Master Lunn, one of the Four Heroes of Althena. The men that were my distant hope and the source of my despair were one and the same. I know this to be true. I took the mask from his face before I killed him, and I asked him why. And he told me his... hateful truth." Pearl is clenching a fist of her own now. "And I can tell you exactly where to find the killing blow in amongst Leviathan's strikes, if you have any doubt. I have the sneer on his face as I ended him burned into my eyes, my mind. There is no doubt."
This time, she makes eye contact with Ivan, seemingly not giving time to let things seek in. "This may not satisfy you, but I will say it regardless. I plan to face Sin, with any other summoners who still fight and whatever help I can muster. I swore an oath to an ally who granted me freedom that I would fight. I know that this does not redeem me. It does not wipe away the cruelties I have inflicted. So should I survive that..." She pauses taking a breath. She does not want to say this, but... it is what she deserves, is it not? She is still a monster, no matter how nicely she tries to wear a human skin.
"...then my head is yours, to take as and when you please."
<Pose Tracker> Talia has posed.
"Ivan..."
Flame is shooting off him. Without his control; something she knows some explanation for, and yet she worries about it just the same. She reaches a and out for him, but pulls it back as that flame leaps off his arm. She swallows.
"I... I know it's not easy, no?" Talia says, her voice kept quiet. "But... we don't have to kill everyone involved. The one behind it is dead, now, no?"
She looks back at Pearl -- and finds out who that dead person is. It makes a certain kind of sense; Lunn had died, after all, worsening the woes of Althena's Guard. She breathes in, sharply, and lets it sink over.
And it seems that Pearl has a plan, which may well see her death -- to fight Sin.
She sucks in a breath, and she turns to look at Ivan. She opens her mouth, trying to find a refusal. Demanding Ivan not do it.
But what right does she have to take something from him? She already took so much.
Talia looks away, her crimson eyes downcast and miserable. Her hand balls into a fist and she feels it shake.
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Amaranth has posed.
Katherine is quiet as Ivan asks if they're just letting it go; he folds his arms and... well, it doesn't take much of a read to see he's not letting it go. A quiet pause, and she glances aside; again, it's not like she can say his feelings are less valid. Seeking forgiveness both ways; many times, people won't forgive... and that has to be okay as well.
But Pearl explains, to her surprise, that the Shadow Dragon Master was also... the Blue Master Lunn. She purses her lips quietly, frowning gently. She tells them of her plans to keep fighting Sin.
"... I... long ago learned to stop thinking of lives as commensurate, as something you can trade one to one," Amaranth murmurs. "And that includes your own. To reduce lives to a number to bargain with is... the kind of thinking they wanted me to believe in."
She breathes a bit more groundedly. Her eyes are on Talia, detecting her feelings for a moment; she sighs, then quietly rises up as she looks to both Ivan and Pearl.
"All I can advise you is to not make any decisions right now. These aren't the kind of things you should make a decision on without giving it time and thought."
<Pose Tracker> Ivan has posed.
"I don't really want to kill you," Ivan says, quiet but harsh, like he's frustrated to have his bluff called. "I thought -- killing everyone who was a part of it was what making things safe from the cult again would have to look like. But you made things safe again. It's already done."
He sighs, ashamed to have frightened the onion child and trying to will the flames to flicker out again. "The things you told me about your past weren't really even lies, were they?" She wouldn't have killed her master lightly. "The cult hurt you more than it ever did me. I just..."
He gestures at his chest. "The inside of me isn't listening yet, I guess. I need time to digest it or something."
And it feels like someone should hold the anger for Talia, because she doesn't feel like she has the right to it. But Pearl is just like them, and it sounds like she thinks she owes the world her death now to balance the scales. Another frustrated exhale. The fires are only burning higher.
"Katherine is right. I think I should... literally cool off."
He gives a small gesture trying to communicate 'take care of Talia' to Katherine, and steps away so he can process his fury down to something a little less threatening. He's a good distance away when he brightens with a fresh plume of fire, the part about Blue Master Lunn finally finding its way to his brain in the processing queue. "What the FUCK??" they hear, distantly.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
She had put it out there, but... Pearl was truly not sure how her suggestion would be received. She does still not understand... exactly how much she may have made things worse. Talia trying to dissuade Ivan seems... fraught. And then Katherine speaks up up. It's a message she keeps hearing, about different things. Your life and your deeds aren't a scale you can balance, a ledger you can put in the black. But it doesn't seem to sink in. It doesn't seem to quite line up that someone who has done all that Pearl has done can simply... change paths and that's it.
Pearl stops herself speaking. 'It's never safe,' she wants to say. A new master could try and take over, were it not for Jean hunting them. But she can't say that either, lest someone find out.
"...No." She answers truthfully, but paused. "But... I do not think now is the time for me to speak to it." She pauses. "...Thank you. For hearing me out. I should best... leave you be for the moment." This isn't just for their sake, for Pearl, this sort of openness is terrifying, and exhausting. She needs to rest. Find somewhere quiet. Not go the direction Ivan is, given the flames.
But privately, in her hardened heart, it's nice to know that her first ever friend doesn't want to kill her, at least.