2022-05-14: The Most Important Memory
- Log: The Most Important Memory
- Cast: Fei Fong Wong, Xantia
- Where: Sylvaland City - Market Borough
- Date: May 14, 2022
- Summary: Fei invites Xantia over for a meal, and the two discuss memories once lost, as well as new memories of the most precious kind.
====================<* Sylvaland City - Market Borough *>===================== The gates to Sylvaland City lead into the Market Borough. This part of the city is a testament to the glories and qualities that Sylvaland would emphasize. Unlike many cities in Filgaia, this one is built amidst the great trees of the Great Woods. Somehow, those trees have been more resistant to desertification... but also impossible to plant outside of Sylvaland. The Market Borough has small, low-lying buildings constructed amidst the trees. The buildings have more permanent, low-lying shops -- crafts and industries that need a permanent fixture. At the center of the borough is a large lake, fed by creeks and streams throughout the city. A vast network of boats is moored there, semi-permanently. Piers and docks connect them, and sellers will bring a boat with a cart up to attach -- then detach and row away, when their business is concluded. The result is a vibrant market, dealing in local cuisine, trade from Meria and Guild Galad, and the occasional ARM. BGM: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Kakariko Village
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei Fong Wong got pretty spooked by his venture through the ice shrine and has invited Xantia to one of the market restaurants in Sylvaland called The Garden but--don't worry!--it's not just salads there. It's a wide variety of things Xantia (and Fei) could eat!
Fei is also by himself. He hasn't even invited Elly along, or Emeralda, but he did at least offer to front the bill--
--despite knowing this isn't going to make things easy on the pocketbook. He's at a window table and is kind of idly twirling his fork, staring down at it--lost in thought.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia's had her share of unpleasant encounters as of late, which have spooked her in their own way. And aggravated her, a lot. Did Fei hear about what happened, and figured she needed a break? It's one possible reason that Xantia could see for the sudden invitation, although it's not like an excuse is ever needed where she's concerned. She'll hang out any time, especially if food is involved. Doesn't even matter if it's only salads. Does food that Xantia doesn't like even exist?
Naturally, Xantia arrives with all due cheer, though she holds back on it in her approach. Fei looks distracted, which gives her the perfect opportunity for an ambush!
...Though an old-fashioned tackle might be a bit much at a restaurant, so she holds back on it a little bit. She settles on a quiet approach from behind, and greets Fei by firmly planting her hands on his shoulders. "Gotcha!" It's only a brief, good-natured squeeze, fairly low level on the Xantia scale of discomfort potential. She quickly whirls about to look him in the eye, smiling brightly as usual. "Heh heh. Did I surprise you?"
Seating herself in short order, she continues casually, "You surprised me, inviting me over like that. And offering to pay too, so generous! You know you don't have to, right? Food is most of what I spend my money on anyway."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei Fong Wong ... hasn't heard about what happened! But he doesn't really need to because, well, if it happened to him too--he might have SOME idea. And that's something.
He is surprisingly NOT tackled. He startles when Xantia actually tries to be quiet and plants her hands on his shoulders.
She's growing up, he thinks. Hopefully not too quickly. But it's still nice to see. He's so proud of her.
He kind of pushes that down a bit.
"You got me." He says, smiling at her. "Yeah, you've gotten a lot better at getting the drop on me."
His eyes widen faintly, "Surprised you? Aw c'mon, I'm happy to spend time with you. I mean I did have something I wanted to talk about, but it's not like we don't hang out, sis."
He nods to the menu. "Yeah, of course, since I asked you all the way out here. Happy to treat you. Makes me feel useful."
He winks.
"...I went to the Ice Shrine like you suggested." He adds.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
All according to plan. Thoughts like that will only aid Xantia in tackling Fei just when he's become convinced she won't do that anymore.
For now, she beams at the praise received for being surprising. See, that's exactly why she does her best to not be too predictable about it, if she did the same thing every time then Fei wouldn't be impressed!
She a bit taken aback by the reaction to her following words, however. "Oh no no, that's not what I meant! It's just, you know, it's not exactly one of the usual places. Makes it feel like it's a special occasion, you know?" She takes a menu when prompted to. "I've never even eaten here before. Is there anything you think I should try?"
She stops browsing through the various restaurant offerings when Fei brings up the Ice Shrine. There's a brief flicker of concern in her expression before her smile returns. "Oh? Well, I wasn't really sure you'd want to, I just thought I'd bring it up 'cause of the whole memory thing it did."
He's changed, she thinks. There was a time when such talk would only make it less likely that Fei seek the place out. She didn't even have to really try to motivate him this time. She's so proud of him.
She, at least, is enthused about this development. "So how was it? Did you learn anything interesting?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei says, "Oh!" And then his face turns bright red. "Haha, I guess I must've been missing you myself." He rubs at his neck. "Not that you haven't been around either, but..eh..." He does feel a little strange when he hasn't seen anyone around in a while as if he expects they might not come back...
But he isn't sure what to do with that thought so he pushes that down too.
"The turkey burgers are great, haven't had much anything else if I'm being honest. This is only my second time here."
Fei is oblivious to Xantia being proud of him which might be for the best because he'd get super bashful about it. Id might be the tsundere one but Fei can still get embarrassed by this sort of stuff himself just fine!
"Uh, well---" Fei begins. "I guess I did ... learn one thing."
"But what about you?" He asks. "You seemed pretty excited about it, you must've learned something big right?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Oblivious to Fei's concerns, Xantia just giggles it off when he's acting all embarrassed about the unusual nature of the invitation. "It's fine, Fei. We've both got our own things that we wanna do. ...And I am kinda bad at the whole 'doing things just for fun' thing, so it helps to suggest that to me. Even if I can have plenty of fun doing pretty much anything as long as you're there."
She doesn't pick the menu back up after putting it down. All she needed was the one suggestion. "Okay, sounds good, then I'll try the turkey burgers!" Same old Xantia, always going along with suggestions and not really showing much in the way of personal preference other than 'a lot of it'. Maybe all food really is the same to her.
She gets her question regarding the Ice Shrine turned back around on her, which stuns her into silence for a moment, blinking several times. "Um. Oh... Did I... give you that impression?" She scratches her head. "I actually didn't learn all that much about myself. I helped someone else find something important, that's mostly why I was there to begin with." She pauses, looking for something of substance to share, which she finds as she lays eyes on her bracer.
"Oh, that's right. I did see this in there." She holds up her right arm, the one with the ornamental bracer that acts as a shell for the real, technologically advanced one that she's had since the beginning. "Just, the way it normally looks. And there were two of them. I never really thought about that before, but when I saw that, it made sense to me that there were two. So I guess that means I must have lost one. But, other than that..."
She doesn't want to think about the terrible ordeal of being forced to accept that the delicious food in front of her was not real. Skipping over that, the main thing that comes to mind is... "...There was a part where I couldn't see anything. Everything was just static. I guess since I couldn't remember anything that far back, it couldn't show me those memories either." There's disappointment there, sure... but it clearly didn't do much to help her deal with her own doubts. She shakes her head firmly. "I hope you learned something more useful than that."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei says, "Well--you seemed really excited." He pauses, and then brightens. "Oh--is that it? I'm glad you were able to help someone recover something. That's... great to hear actually."
He looks to the bracer, it does look familiar. He wonders if one being broken has anything to do--no that doesn't really make much sense, right?
"It makes sense." He admits. "I guess thinking about it, it doesn't really make sense to only have one in most cases."
He rubs at his neck awkwardly and adds, "Well, I don't know if it's...useful. But the shrine did show me some memories. Happy ones. But not mine. His."
He doesn't need to clarify that too much. But he does add, "Oh though I did get a lot of hot cocoa with marshmallows." He brightens. "So it was pretty much worth it for that, aheh..."
Delicious hot cocoa forgives a lot apparently.
"Didn't show me any of my own memories I'm missing though. I think I was giving the shrine some trouble, heh."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Absolutely not something that Xantia ever thought about, that bracers usually come in pairs. When you've only had one for as long as you can remember, that's just your normal. A minor thing to learn perhaps, but at least she learned something, whereas Fei...
"...Oh. Oh I see. That's... probably kinda awkward, huh?"
She doesn't often put effort in not letting her emotions show on her face, but she tries her best to do so now. It would be even more awkward if she plainly showed how much joy she feels for Id, when it's not Id she's talking to. He could certainly stand to be reminded of the happier things in life. For Fei, all she can really do is hold that in and give him a reassuring pat on the arm.
"I'm sorry it didn't show you anything to help you. Sounds like we both made things difficult on the Shrine. Almost like we were the ones giving it a Trial." She chuckles at her own attempt to lighten the mood. It peters out awkwardly, her own train of thought sabotaging the effort when she frowns suddenly.
"To be honest, I'm kind of worried about getting my memories back right now. It's all that stupid Loren's fault. He lost his memory too at some point, did you know that? He got them back, and he told me that when that happened, the person he was when his memories were gone stopped existing." She pauses, looking at Fei with the expectation that she doesn't need to explain why that upset her. "...I think he just said it that way to be a jerk, since he could tell I was afraid of that, but I can't help but worry anyway."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei feels a little better when Xantia admits that they have 'giving the Shrine a Trial' in common. He actually laughs and smiles, the worry fading some from his eyes. "Actually, it's strange. Despite it being a memory, it was...in the third person." He pauses. "Er, that is to say, like... it was if I was watching 'footage' of something he had done rather than through his perspective, do you know what I mean?"
He rubs at his neck. "Actually it was kind of useful in that regard. Finally got a good look at how Id appears to all of you. Honestly, the way he looks to everyone else--that's not how he appears to me at all."
He lets his arm drop. "It was just him hurting and killing people. When he destroyed Elru. I don't...understand why he takes joy in that sort of thing."
While Id was certainly acting happy during that battle--
"Nhh... I don't understand it. But I guess I know how he and Ramses know each other now."
Luckily at least this time he hasn't noticed Xantia's joy--focused as he is on explaining it.
He considers how Loren speaks of it and Fei admits, "Yeah, if he said it like that, I'd be worried too. Though, sometimes people say things not because they're true but because they wish it was true." He smiles, embarrassed. "I mean maybe he said it because he just wanted to hurt you but I think he also just kind of hated the version of him that hadn't been screwed up by Solaris."
"But even so," He admits. "I can see why it'd worry you, especially with how different that other version of you was from you."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
"Yeah," Xantia says quickly enough, about the memory being like watching footage. "That's just the way the Shrine does things, I guess. I was kind of too focused on what I was doing most of the time to see much of it, but... I did see my memory of when you first called me your sister." She smiles warmly. "Of course, that's not a lost or even a faded memory. But it may be the most important one."
Again, not voicing what she saw of Id in there. Xantia may actually have learned a little bit about what tact means. ...Though if Fei himself is talking about Id, it's probably alright to follow up on that with her own thoughts on the matter. She frowns a bit upon hearing the happy memory in question was a violent one, and shakes her head.
"I might have known. I guess that's just how it was for him at the time. I've thought a lot about that myself. Because that could have been me. Back then, I had nothing but power, and using it made me happy. That could have easily turned into something ugly, if I didn't have people like you helping me to see things differently. But to him... power is all he has, or so he thinks."
She shrugs helplessly. "What can you do with power, really? Oppress those without it, stand against those who decided to use power that way, or just... challenge yourself, because you have no idea what to do with what you have. The only problems power can solve are themselves caused by power. Even if you find joy in these things, it's only in the moment, it won't last. But when it's all you have..."
She trails off, and chuckles, looking a little sheepish. "I guess I probably didn't sound very much like myself there. And you already understand what I'm saying. Still, maybe it gives you something of an idea of how Id may have felt? It feels important to me that you do, since you're kind of stuck with him. I should leave it at that though, he'll get upset if I say too much."
As if she wasn't already going on for a while there. It's one reason for bringing the topic back around to herself. Less awkward, if not exactly more happy. Thankfully she's over the actual dread involved, and is now just more annoyed about it. Fei offers a perspective that she hadn't considered though, making her nod with widened eyes.
"I see, I see... I thought he was lying, but I guess he was also lying to himself? It's really weird to me that me that people do that, but I'm starting to see that they do, sometimes." She waves it off though. "But, don't worry about that, or about me. I'll be fine, in the end. With everyone helping me, how could I not be?"
She does genuinely believe that. Even if it's a bit more difficult to put her thoughts aside than she's making it appear.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei Fong Wong wonders--is that it? Is it just the way the shrine does things? "Well..." He begins, a little more awkwardly. He wants to express something but before he gets the opportunity--
"Ah--" Fei startles a bit as Xantia--did in fact get to see a good memory. Fei's cheeks redden again and he smiles. "That...that is a good memory."
...
"It's a little--well, no, it's a lot flattering that you consider that a most important memory." It's definitely one of the most important to Fei. "Hopefully one day I'll feel like I've really earned that. Until then--I'm grateful and honored you feel that way."
Why does it get to be that kind of memory for you?
Fei isn't sure power so much as solves problems so much as creates them--there have been, though, some cases where it turned out to be helpful so maybe it's not power itself such much as the clear surfeit of it.
"Did--do you feel like some time ago, maybe your past self--that all they had was power back then?"
The other Xantia was certainly a tough enough opponent considering that she could even interfere with Id, whom Fei largely knows from the wreckage he leaves behind.
Is Loren the only one who is lying to himself?
Why does it get to be a moment that brings you joy when it only brings me fear
"I--heh--well, I do tend to worry. But don't you worry too much about that. Even if you just settled down and lived your life as the world's most powerful gourmand--I'd probably still worry. I'm sure you'll be okay. You're tougher than me and outside of me, you've got plenty of friends who care about you just as much as I do."
He is quiet and then adds, "And I'm sorry for being an idiot before. These Trials really mess with my head. I think maybe--I don't know--maybe Grahf's own ways of 'testing' me makes me think it all has to be crueller than it is. We've been through a ton of tests by now, what can they really throw at us that we haven't endured before?"
And yet, was it really the shrine? Whenever he has a vision, even when it's just that small memory of him as a little boy that he has salvaged--
--why does it still feel like it's happening to someone else?
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia can only laugh a little at Fei's reaction, and scratches her cheek. "Oh, stop that. You're making me feel awkward when you say it like that. I'm just, you know, saying it like it is, like I always do." It's weird how these sorts of things are so much easier to say than they are to hear. Has she gotten that from Fei? Is it contagious?
Likewise, she quickly feels disarmed when Fei posits a possible reason for why she has these feelings regarding power. "I... I don't know? I wasn't thinking about it... just saying things the way felt right to me." It's not really an answer. She has none. Thinking too much about it tends to lead her in unhelpful circles. So she chooses to abandon that line of thought, and quickly move on from it.
Thankfully the next topic is easier to handle. She can just laugh at it, boisterously. "Fei, I don't even know what settling down means. I'd probably be in more trouble trying that than I am just doing things the way I have been!" Her amusement lingers, helping her to handle the next topic on a lighter note, giving Fei a poke in the arm. "Look, it's easy, the correct answer to 'who will be the one that suffers' is not 'me', it's 'nobody'. That's all you have to remember! Don't believe anyone who says that's not an option, you can make it be an option!"
This seems to be Xantia's moral to every story. Just focus on what your feelings tell you is obviously true! Not like anybody would ever have differing points of view, right?