2023-02-23: Call the Doctors
- Log: Call the Doctors
- Cast: Xantia, Lily Keil, Citan Uzuki
- Where: South Calm Lands
- Date: February 23, 2023
- Summary: As the Wolves prepare for the battle to come against Sin, Lily and Citan have both noted the same thing. There is something amiss about Xantia of late... and they aim to find the cause.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Preparations always need to be made for any given mission. The exact magnitude of which naturally varies depending on its scope. And yet, while the scope of this upcoming one is immeasurably huge... one has to wonder how much in the way of effective preparations can really be made for it. Previous attempts at such have failed dismally - all the preparation of Operation Mi'ihen wasn't enough to handle Sin. A sobering thought, and not one to get lost in, if spirits are to be kept up.
There are of course other preparations one could consider. Tying up some loose personal ends. One last visit to loved ones before the big battle, perhaps. It doesn't all have to battle. But, for at least one of the Black Wolves... battle is commonly on the forefront of their mind. To become stronger, or in some other way more capable of dealing with the threats before them. The encounter with Krelian cemented the need for this all the more.
It was mostly luck that Xantia managed to get away with only wounds that she was able to recover from without incident. She does not want to depend upon luck again.
And so it is that upon the Wolves' brief return to the Karlsefni, Xantia had suddenly vanished. Not literally into thin air, she simply separated from the others a while ago to do her own thing, and hasn't been seen since. Not cause for immediate worry, of course. But when she fails to show up for lunch... that is when you worry. Xantia does not miss lunch, that just doesn't happen. There has to be something going on.
It's typical in at least one way: when Xantia gets engrossed in something, she tends to lose track of time. What she's doing, however... that is far from typical for her. Since when she is finally found, it will be in Lily's... laboratory? Let's call it a laboratory. That room is meant for technological R&D, after all. There is just so much Stuff in it that it may be hard for some whether it's used for more than parts storage. Xantia knows better, of course, even if she knows little of what all those parts actually do.
At least... she should know little about it. And yet, once the room is entered, Xantia can be seen with her back to the door, appearing to be working on something at the workbench. A few tools are scattered around next to her, and there's a light but distinct electrical burning smell in the air. While it's hard to see exactly what she's doing without going around to the other side, it's plain to see her focus on what she's doing. She didn't even seem to notice anybody coming in.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
For her part, Lily took a while to notice Xantia's presence in her lab--because she hasn't been there. She has has been troubled since the battle with Krelian, having to recover both physically and emotionally from something that was much worse than a mere fight ought to be. The things that he had said--the way he had been able to back them up...
Still, she noticed when Xantia didn't appear for lunch. So eventually, she makes her way to her lab, looking around the ship, and...
"Hm."
"...Not like I mind that you didn't ask," Lily says softly, "But I would like to know what you're up to." She starts to approach.
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
They had returned to Filgaia, if only briefly. What had happened in Spira had made it a practical necessity, their injuries aside: Krelian's intrusion had made certain of that.
To say nothing of the Heimdall Gazzo's arrival on Filgaia, and the very real threat that presented. Citan had returned to Shevat for a time and had come back bearing grave news: the nation-state was on a defensive stance, preparing for a strike from Odessa at any time. It wouldn't be long before the Heimdall Gazzo would be ready.
Solaris, too, was on guard.
It was all the more reason to see that their attentions turned towards threats on another world altogether. In this, the Emperor and he were aligned: the threat to the world's stability was grave, but better that Fei be directed elsewhere, lest his other side erupt during the conflict to come. If their worst fears were realized in such a scenario, that could very well spell the beginning of the end.
Citan has scarce been returned from Shevat a day when the unthinkable happens: Xantia does not show up for lunch.
He had waited. And waited some more.
"Perhaps she has become engrossed in something. I do not believe she has left the ship," he says, following after Lily as they enter one of the places aboard the ship where it is most likely that Xantia might be found.
And here she is.
"Well, what have we here?" he says, trying to get a better look at what she might be working on. "It appears we have one thing in common," Citan adds, affecting a more avuncular mood. "Why, more than once I had nearly missed dinner back in Lahan because I was involved in this or that in my shed!"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It may be immediately obvious - if not by the smell than by the tool that is put aside - that Xantia was busy soldering something. Most definitely not something that she's ever been seen doing before. Tinkering with machines wasn't something she really showed much of an interest in. She'd freely admit she's more about breaking things than fixing them. And yet...
"Hm, hm, let's see..." she murmurs, taking an uncannily long time to process the fact that she was spoken to. That other people have come in. One of which being the one who normally works here.
Abruptly, she whirls about, hiding the object she was holding behind her back on pure instinct. She couldn't look guiltier if she tried. "Lily, Citan, I...!" This is gonna be a hard one to explain. But she gives it a try, directing herself more directly to Lily for reasons that are likely obvious.
"S-sorry for using your stuff! It was just, I didn't mean-- I was gonna ask you, but when I looked in here I saw these wires laying around, and I just thought, that's just what I need, and before I knew it--"
This is not going to make any sense, she realizes that much herself. It's easier to just show them. And so, rather than continuing to try to explain herself, she instead reveals the object behind her back, holding it cradled in both of her hands. A second bracer, exactly like the one Xantia's had for as long as anyone's known her, except for the fact that this one looks burnt, and bent out of shape.
Lily and Citan probably already knew she had this, that much wasn't a secret. She carried it with her in a spare waist pouch wherever she went. Either she herself or Fei could have told them about how Xenia left it with Fei, to make the decision on whether and when to give it to Xantia. With an Ominous And Vague Warning about Dire Things Being Set In Motion by doing so, of course. Wouldn't be Xenia without that.
The more notable part for this moment, is that a service flap on the ARM has been opened, exposing little more than a mess of wiring. On the workbench, more wiring can be seen, badly burned from electrical damage. Putting two and two together seems to suggest that Xantia's replaced the wires that were in worst shape with new ones, and tried to fix the ones that still looked salvagable. It actually looks like a fairly neat job. But... since when did she know how to do something like that?
Xantia only looks ashamed of herself though... and soon shocked as she looks to Citan, even though that's about another matter entirely. "...Wait, what time is it?" She shakes her head, that doesn't matter. What matters is, "Oh no, did I miss lunch? How could I let that happen??" How, indeed.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Sin could become a threat to Filgaia... but the truth is that Lily has something of a fixation, by now. It is the enemy; it must be defeated. Since that first day she saw it, she has known this. ...And she doesn't have the power to oppose Heimdall Gazzo. Krelian made that all too clear.
Yet. She doesn't ahve that power yet.
"I don't think so either," Lily says. "I still sense her presence somewhere..."
An here they are. Soldering. Lily does keep the tools around, just in case she needs them, though she often uses her magic to work machinery. As she does most things. But then--
"I don't mind, like I said," Lily answers Xantia. "Use what you need. As long as you don't break the bike."
The motorcycle, that is.
But the bracer...
Hm.
"So is this a 'you meant to do this' thing or a 'you felt compelled to do this' matter?" Lily wonders. "You've never shown much interest in my workshop before."
"Looks like a neat job, though. Think you've got it working?"
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
It isn't as if the threat to which they attend has no bearing on Filgaia's future, no, or that its scope isn't as dangerous. But as far as he sees it, it is about the clashing nature of the fuel and the flame. Id awakening in the middle of a battle against the Heimdall Gazzo could be as catastrophic as the conflict in Elru, and perhaps without whatever miracle had stayed that inferno from spreading to other lands. At least with Sin...
Well, he can but hope.
"If you had but asked, I would not have minded permitting you access to my own tools, either," Citan remarks, glancing Lily's way. "Still, it would seem that you have found what you have needed...?"
He draws nearer.
Aha.
He knows precisely what it is when he spots it -- or at least, he knows its provenance.
Citan has seen it before, and in his usual way, he hadn't asked her about it but another -- Fei, in this case. It had been Xenia's, given to him to present to Xantia at just the right time, which of course, Fei had dutifully done. And that had been the end of it, until now.
The ARM itself is a mess, but the work itself within it... well!
Leaning over, Citan readjusts his spectacles, peering at the wiring work. One finger traces the path of one the wires in the air and where he suspects it would connect further under the device. Beetling his brow, he hums thoughtfully, as if in careful consideration of this. "...And this is the first you have done such work? A master of machinery could scarce have done better," he says, pulling away and giving her and the ARM back their personal space once again.
"But not to worry! Your lunch is safe."
Citan pauses.
"...Unless, of course, Fei has found it."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia's actions, too, are ultimately prompted by threats such as Krelian and Sin. Both have proven to be insurmountable to her in the past. Yet she could not shake the feeling that there was something more significant that she could have done. If only she could remember it. That's really what this is about - not an attempt to obtain new power, an attempt to unlock whatever memories Xenia implied her other bracer might help her recover.
Her work on the bracer is inspected, and seems... to get both Lily and Citan's approval? "Oh! You think so?" That actually perks her up a little. It means a lot, coming from people who know what she did better than she herself does. Weird, why is she feeling proud of something she's not sure she could even replicate again if asked?
She very briefly tenses up when thinking about Fei's appetite. But no, he wouldn't. There's no way, not knowingly. By accident... nah, Id would smack him in the back of the head rather than allow such a thing to happen. Yes, she's sure she has nothing to worry about here. ...Though she should probably go check soon just in case.
Lily has asked her a complicated question, however. "Um, well..." is all she manages for a time, taking a moment to think it over, placing the ARM aside on the workbench in the mean time. Finally she settles on, "I guess it's... prooobably more of the latter...? I'm not completely sure how things ended up like this." She scratches her head, nothing but genuine confusion in her expression. Retracing her steps seems like a good idea, for herself as well.
"So... I talked to Billy, about the damage to my other bracer. He managed to get it open, and there wasn't a lot he could get to, but that's when we saw the damage to the wires, as the obvious first thing that would need to be fixed. I asked Billy if he could do it, but he said you'd need replacement wiring and it'd be best to have a master ARMs Meister handle the repairs."
She frowns, casting a doubtful look Citan's way. A master, that's what they both said. But that's not... what she is. Is it? She's starting to get a little disturbed, but continues to lay out her thought patterns.
"All I was going to do was check to see if Lily had any wires in here. I figured, Lily knows a lot about machines, if she has the parts for it maybe she can fix it for me. But then... but then I just..." She brings a hand to her forehead. "...I just... realized I knew how to repair this. And before I knew it... that's what I started doing."
It's distressing, to consider that your memories might have some kind of hold over you. Forcing you to act in ways that you never would without them, just by the memory being there. It's something that Xantia greatly fears, and events such as this do little to reassure her.
And in the end, did this even do her any good? Her expression turns sour at Lily's question regarding whether she's got it working now. "I don't know about that. I mean, even if that fixed it, I'd still need to wear it to use it. And there's no way I can do that right now. Just look at it."
Picking up the ARM from where she left it on the workbench, she makes to present it to Lily again... only to stop in her tracks, staring at what she's holding. Xantia was expecting to prove her point of it being impossible to wear in its current state, except... it actually looks as if it could be worn just fine. It was definitely bent out of shape just a little while ago. And yet now... is this still the same bracer as before?
As she watches, her eyes widen, at the realization that the object she's holding is still changing. Right in her hands, the blackened sections of metal are slowly shrinking, rapidly recovering its long-lost sheen. All Xantia can do is direct a dumbfounded look towards Lily and Citan. She's not doing this. She has absolutely no idea what's happening here.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
It's all important; someone has to take care of each. At least Xantia's lunch is safe.
"It is very good," Lily agrees. "So, in that case, it sort of... ran away with you..." She considers that. Retracing her steps is wise. So she does. It's definitely disturbing.
"...It seems it is working. That bothers me," Lily admits. "Sure, it's possible that by fixing it you were able to engage its self-repair protocols. That much isn't so strange. But the fact that you suddenly decided to fix it, and then here it is, fixed and all..."
"I think you should put it down." Lily pauses. "It may not be safe to use. ...I understand the need to gather power--believe me, I do--but yours risks you losing control of yourself, like you have before. Is it worth risking that possibility, on this mission? For yourself, and your own mission?"
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
He nods. "Yes, I do, as a matter of fact." At a glance, there are a few small adjustments he might make -- which he may well suggest -- and who knows what else might turn up under a more direct investigation. Still, for someone who has not, as far as he is aware, spent significant time with these tools or working with such devices since she was found in the desert...
Well, it rather suggests that Xantia had been once, in the past. In a way, it is not unlike Fei's painting skills, or perhaps more accurately, like his skills at using a Gear.
"Billy, was it...? Yes, he would know a thing or two," Citan muses, rubbing at his chin. "Though, I must say, I am surprised that you did not speak to me! I consider myself an accomplished tinkerer. After all, it has been some time since once of my experiments... ah, hmm." He frowns, perhaps reflecting on the last key word there.
It isn't his fault if sometimes ancient machinery decides to explode after it's brought around to regular operation. But it might make some more leery about his talents, perhaps.
"...But you realized you knew how to fix this, you say? That is... quite interesting." He pauses, looking her up and down. "By the by, Xantia, how have you been feeling? I had been concerned about you during..."
He trails off. What is happening to the device she holds can no longer be ignored. "Good heavens! Is that...?!"
It's reacting to her. There's no question about that.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia's unexplained abilities just keep increasing, it seems. To her, this one is no more or less surprising than, say, her knowing how to cook a good meal. It's both knowledge that seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere when she needed it, and both things of which she doesn't know her original motivation for learning them. No different than any other ability she happens to discover she has, in that respect. It's always surprising, but she can't be exceptionally shocked about it anymore. She's more shocked about that revelation of Citan's.
"Oh? I didn't know you tinkered with machines, too! I guess all of us can just do a little bit of everything, huh?" See, it's not so strange, not when so many of her friends can do lots of different things too.
And yet, in spite of their praise... they seem bothered by her success at this. Lily flat out says it, even. She's not sure what to think about that. Citan asks how she's feeling... ah, could it be about that?
"This... isn't like what happened with Krelian, if that's what you're asking. More like... something I realized I could do, and I really wanted to do, so I did it. But back there..."
Xantia runs a hand over her torso where the horizontal slash wound used to be. The wound itself may be completely healed, but she can still feel the roughness of the patchwork repair job to her armor, a reminder of what her uncontrolled state led to.
"...there was no choice. No choice at all. All I could do was watch my body move on its own. Like Dazil, only... no one was in control."
She can't describe it any better than that. It's hard to keep fear from overtaking her just thinking about it. But for better or for worse, she is soon distracted by what's happening to the weapon in her hand, repairing itself before her eyes. ...Is this it? Is this what's supposed to trigger her memories? Then why isn't it happening?
She was already plenty confused by this, but what Lily says next... this is something she never expected to hear. Not from someone who understands so well the need to use everything you have at your disposal for the best odds at victory. She looks appropriately stunned, as she wonders in her mind. Even considering the risk, would it not be worth it? Would you not take every risk you had to in order for you and your friends to live another day?
She doesn't actually ask these questions aloud. Instead, she leans back against the workbench, seeming to comply by gently putting down the bracer - now easily recognized as identical to the one she wears - and casting her eyes to the ceiling. There's a moment of silence before she finally responds verbally.
"The first time I fought Sin... that was the first time nothing I could do had an effect on something. The second time, I got hurt so bad, I wasn't able to move my arm for weeks. I don't often think that there isn't anything I can do to fight something, but... well, as it is, it's very hard to feel confident about what we're about to do." With that in mind, she finally directs a form of that question to Lily. "Do you really think it's a good idea not to use everything I have in this battle?"
She can't suppress a chuckle, thinking back to what happened with Krelian. "Besides... I'm losing control of myself already, aren't I? It's usually around Solaris, but who's to say it won't happen in the middle of fighting Sin? Maybe wearing the other bracer will give me more control. Or maybe it'll do just the opposite. What does it matter at this point? I'm no good like this, always unsure of everything, never knowing when I might do something beyond my control. I want... I just want..."
The pained look in her eyes is one that suggests she's on the verge of tears. But the tears won't come. They never do.
"...I just want to be like everybody else. Why did this have to happen to me...?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily isn't entirely shocked by the idea of Xantia having depths they hadn't realized in terms of her knowledge. But all of them...
"It's a useful skill to pick up," Lily decides. But, "I'm interested in more of those experiments sometime," to Citan. But it's definitely reacting...
"It's very interesting. And I wonder how you're feeling, too."
Lily does say it; it feels a little hypocritical, but the others try to hold her back from the excesses of power seeking, so she feels just enough ability to say it. As it stands, though...
"...When I fought Sin," Lily says, "I could think of nothing but trying to defeat it. And I managed to score a tiny, tiny hit. ...And then I lost an eye." She shakes her head. "The odds weren't on my side. I couldn't do anything, either."
To feel confident... "I think it's a good idea to use all you can use while ensuring that you'll be present for the battle at all."
"My worry is this: you put on that bracer, your controls kick in, and you wander off to try to kill Krelian again. Something like that. You're losing control already, but..."
"Mm. It's true. It could be either way," she admits. "You're already losing control. It does matter, but... I feel like..."
Hm.
"...I understand," Lily says. "I'm sorry."
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
"You did not? And here, I thought I had let my hobby get the better of me during our travels," he sighs, smiling to himself even so. "No, if you were to ask my wife, I am hopelessly obsessed with machines. But it is not always easy to find the time these days to experiment with what I find... or to find suitable parts in the first place. It was quite difficult to repair my camera!" he adds.
"Well, I should not mind that," Citan tells Lily, glancing her way. "Though... I am afraid it shall need to wait. We have more pressing things ahead of us and we must prepare while we have the opportunity," he finishes, folding his arms over his chest as he frowns, creasing his brow in thought.
It isn't surprising at all, no, that Xantia has such surprising skills at her command. Yet, it asks that they both reconsider the scope of her abilities -- that there is more to who she was than the fighting skills she displays.
"...No, I did not think so," he tells her, forestalling perhaps any concern about her skill and how she had reacted to Krelian. "They are of a kind, but they are not the same. It is more like, ah, Fei's ability to paint," he says, picking up on the first of his earlier thought along these lines. "However," he continues, readjusting his glasses, "at that time..."
He trails off. Xantia herself says it: it was like watching herself move without a say in the matter.
Just like in Dazil.
"...He, too, is Solarian." An obvious statement, yes. But it is a reminder of Xenia's warning of what Xantia might do if she lost herself. No, it wouldn't just be Solarians, either.
The odds are not on their side against Sin. They could throw everything they have, and still, Sin could remain unscathed. There is a reason why Spirans had settled on the Calm rather than attempt to destroy Sin. They do not even know if it can be destroyed -- indeed, previous attempts had failed, as Lily can well attest. And yet, to do otherwise is to simply give in. Fate cannot be denied, it is true.
But... could it be instead defied?
"If I may intrude," he says at last, "it is important to fight with all that you have. Yet, it is equally important that you endeavor, should it be possible, to return from the battle you have waged. There are many who have perished to bring us to this precipice: let us honor their sacrifices and not recklessly seek to join them."
He again meets Lily's gaze. "If we do not know what that bracer may do... though, it would be strange if Xenia were to give her a device that would return her to their control." Citan pauses. "Yet, perhaps she did not have a choice in the matter." To Xantia, then: "What does your intuition tell you?"
That she's already losing control.
She's afraid. And in torment.
"..."
What can he do but shake his head? "If there were anything that I could do... I am sorry." He smiles: tight, unhappy. "'To have a simple life'..." He gazes up towards the ceiling. "It is a repeating, unanswered prayer from many. It may not give you comfort... but you are not alone, in this."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
That's probably the main issue here with Xantia not noticing certain things - she too is pursuing her own interests a lot when she's not needed anywhere in particular, which in her case means wandering about, away from the others during the time they're most likely to work on their hobbies. In Citan's case, she only knew about the photography, since it comes up often enough during explorations and other such ventures. Moreover...
"...Like Fei? So... like a hobby?" It comes out perhaps a bit more perplexed than strictly appropriate. But that's Xantia's point of view: she's no expert on hobbies, as a concept. It's never not weird to think that she used to understand that concept - and the value inherent in it - better than she does now.
At least she currently seems like her usual self. This time, she could - and would - warn her friends if she felt something was seriously wrong with her. The problem is... these losses of control are so much more sudden now. There isn't much of a warning she could give except 'be prepared at all times'. Solarians are obviously risky for her to be about, but she too realizes there are risks beyond that. Things can't keep going on the way they have been. But there's so little that can be done.
And now, there's no time. The battle with Sin awaits... and she can't fail everyone this time. And yet... "Believe me, Doc... self-sacrifice is out of the question. I don't want any of you to do that, and none of you want me to do that. So that's not what we're doing." That part is simple, as far as she's concerned. There's always a better way than someone having to give up their life. All they can do is their best... and she'd prefer if her best was a little better than it is right now. She may have the means right now... but concerns are raised over this. She listens calmly to Citan and Lily both.
"...I know the circumstances that made Xenia give up the bracer. It make me think that... there are worse ways it could have been returned to me. I can't say whether it will be good for me... but I'm pretty sure that this is not what the people giving Xenia orders wanted. Which makes me think it's something I should want."
There's a lot of maybes involved. But when asked about her inituition, that's her answer. Always the hopeful outlook, even at times like this, when thinking about her circumstances left her in pain, she seeks to combat it with all the optimism she has available. That simple life may not be happening. But there's something she can do, right now.
Xantia gives Lily a neutral look in response to the apology, though she may realize that the silent gratitude behind it will come across. Even if the decision was always going to be hers, having some form of approval is important to her. She can't just do something like this while knowing someone whose opinion she values disapproves. With that seeming to have been retracted... her mind is made up.
She does it all slowly, with deliberate movements, as if to emphasize her conscious awareness of what she's doing. Unclasping the ornamental bracer on her left arm, placing it down on the workbench, then picking up the newly restored ARM, giving Lily and Citan a nod each, before clasping it firmly about her left wrist.
...
Nothing happens. Xantia looks frustrated. All of a sudden, her right bracer manifests its Ether-constructed energy blade, only for it to dissipate again immediately. Yet, nothing from her left. So that's what she's been trying - and failing - to do.
"...It's not working," she clarifies the obvious. "I don't understand. I'm doing the same thing as I do to activate my other bracer, but it's not... doing anything." She lets out a deep sigh, releasing all her previously held tension, replacing it with disappointment. "I guess it's still not fixed, after all."
At least nothing bad happened. But Xantia is obviously not satisfied by nothing happening, after all that. She was so certain this would work. You can just see her thinking about what she's missing here. To get so far in following a clue, and yet miss some vital piece of knowledge for it to matter for anything... story of her life, as far as she can remember it.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
"I think there's a lot I'd like to ask your wife," Lily quips, managing a little humor despite the situation. But indeed; these matters are likely for later. Not just now...
But Lily considers Citan's approach. She does not wish for a 'simple life', herself, but she understands the difficulty. Maybe she should want that...
But she doesn't.
She does seem like herself. There is that. "Good," Lily says of avoiding self-sacrifice. "Well... It sounds to me as if you've reasoned it out pretty well."
She notices that gratitude; she appreciates it. So...
She puts on the bracer, and--
"...Hm."
Lily considers. "Is it meant to work the same way?" Lily wonders immediately, looking to Citan. "It would make sense for a matched pair to have differing functions, right? To maximize utility."
She looks back. "It looks fixed..."
Lily considers. And then--
She reaches out. "May I?" she asks, and beckons Xantia's left arm. "This may hurt a little. But I don't think it will. And I'll heal you if it does."
Without touching Xantia, Lily reaches out--and applies with her magic a thin sheet of ice over Xantia's left arm, especially over the bracer. Or at least, that's what she tries to do, her markings lighting up blue with icy Ether as she does.
She's never been much for holding back.
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
So, like a hobby?
"Perhaps," is what he allows here. "In any case, it is another part of 'who you were'."
Lily says there are a lot of things she'd like to ask Yui. "Oh dear," Citan replies in kind, shaking his head. Were it not for the decidedly playful smile, someone might (possibly) even mistake him for serious here and now. "Should I be concerned about that...?"
But such mirth can't linger long, with such matters of discussion before them.
"I am glad," he says to Xantia, quite honestly. "But I am not speaking about even 'self-sacrifice'. I merely mean to say... you should endeavor to return, as yourself. Should you give all that you have but lose something of yourself in the process... whatever might be gained, that is no victory," he tells her.
It is almost as if he might know something of this himself.
But, the bracer. As he suspects, so does she: this bracer is something that, perhaps, 'they' do not want Xantia to have. And while this is far from a secure theorum, it is perhaps enough. She slips it on.
If he holds his breath during, perhaps no one will notice or tell.
...Nothing happens. "...Hm." Shifting his body weight forward, he squints at the bracer, as if he could discern anything about it from here. "I wonder." Is it merely not repaired just yet, or...?
"A matched pair? It is possible, though I would wonder why they would not have equipped her with both, unless there was another reason..." Such as, perhaps, Xantia not behaving to their 'specifications'. He steps aside when Lily approaches, extending an arm to usher her ahead. "Please, be careful."
Though Citan visibly hesitates.
"...What is it that you intend to do, precisely, Lily?"
And Lily coats Xantia's left arm with ice-- or attempts to do the same. Citan blinks in apparent surprise. "Well--! That is rather, ah, extreme, Lily...!"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia's not going to be a hypocrite about that sort of thing - she's lectured Fei for his propensity for self-sacrifice often enough. He's still way too ready to just toss himself off an airship while telling everyone 'Live'. He should take his own advice already! She hadn't considered the alternate take, though. She nods to Citan after a thoughtful pause. "You're right. I'll remember that."
The bracer, though... there's nothing Xantia can think of to ease her disappointment there. Thankfully, Lily does have a theory.
"...Hm. I guess that makes sense. Since they look the same I just guessed they'd work the same. But, maybe not?" She scratches her head. "No idea how else it would work though, if it doesn't respond to my Ether the same way the other one does."
Lily asks for her arm. Xantia holds it towards Lily immediately, looking worried but not withdrawing it when it's clarified this could hurt. "Well, okay... if you think it could help."
The results are... well. It's quickly obvious that the bracer isn't quite doing nothing - it seems to actively repel Lily's Ether, not letting the ice even begin to take shape over it. This is clearly not happening while Lily is holding back. And putting more behind it... while the bracer may not be freezing easily, the same is not true for Xantia's arm.
"H-hey, Lily, I don't know what you're doing but this is really cold... I don't like being cold, can we stop this?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily grins. "It's fine, it's fine."
She hopes Xantia--and she--can remember what Citan says about loss, though. ABout what's worth it. "Maybe they did, back then. She seems to have gone through some changes, after all." Of equipping her with both.. Then... Hmmm.
Lily notices the way the bracer doesn't catch 'ice', and she is about to consider intensifying the effect despite Citan's obvious protests but--
"Ah, right." Xantia says she doesn't like being cold. "I was testing a theory. Here." She removes the ice, replaces it with enough warmth to bring Xantia back to equilibrium, glowing red as she does.
"Sorry about that. But it furthers my theory--I think you'll have to figure out how to use it, but if my guess is right... It's a shield, not a sword."
"Still," she says. "Now I'm hungry, too. Let's go get your lunch."