2023-05-27: The Trouble with Not Troubling Anyone

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  • Log: The Trouble with Not Troubling Anyone
  • Cast: Hannah Curie, Marivel Armitage
  • Where: Klein Port Ward
  • Date: May 27, 2023
  • Summary: Hannah accepts an invitation from her mentor Marivel to meet and catch up. They discuss causal loops, Sielje, and the reason Hannah fell out of contact for so long.

=============================<* Klein Port Ward *>==============================

Gateway to the rest of Filgaia, bursting with goods from ports around the world, the Port Ward of Klein City has all the sights and scents one might expect of a region on the sea and populated by sailors. Occupying the least rocky terrain and the most favorable access to the coast in the area, it has capacity for many ships all at once, and is always abuzz with officials checking goods and manifests and trying to ensure that taxes, duties, and laws are properly observed in trade... though they are not always successful. Given the quantity of travel here, there are many inns and common houses and other businesses catering to those who come and go, and the sight of the Central Ward up at the top of the cliffs nearby can provide the sense that the whole ward is under a watchful eye. ...To the paranoid, anyway--for the most part, matters are smooth, though there's a significant local police force that seems to some to exist mostly to break up the fights between bored men and women of the sea on leave. It's said that the markets here have at least a little something from all over the world, though perhaps most popular are textiles: with the ocean so close to the cliffs, the ports grow quite chilly at night.

BGM: Chrono Cross - Another Termina
<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah sighs a bit as she looks down at the scrap of paper in her hand, glancing up as she references local shops and landmarks. After her reunion with Eleanor, she wasn't sure at all how Marivel would react to her sudden reappearance. She seemed fine at the Memory Maze and during the battle, but... well, there were other matters to attend to at the time. This would be their first chance to just... talk, and she wasn't sure how it'd go.

Even more than Eleanor, Marivel had been her oldest acquaintance (excepting Susanna, of course), and since Eleanor had thought she'd died, she could only guess what Marivel would've thought. And now that she knew what had happened to Marivel so many years ago...

She'd been kicking herself ever since.

She should've shown up sooner for the mission. She should've stayed in touch. She should've done a lot of things.

The inevitable invitation had come, and so Hannah had set out, following the instructions until she arrived at the small cafe Marivel had picked out. It had been about five years since they'd last met. Hannah had cut her long hair short, ditched the dresses, and, seemingly out of nowhere, had taken to wearing a black, hooded cloak. Her demeanor had also changed, a lot more stoic and closed off, not friendly and happy (though there was some part of her deep down that was still like that, but it felt a lot harder to let those parts of herself out these days.)

Zephyr is riding on her shoulder still, however, and looks the same as he ever did.

Hannah took a deep breath to steady herself and stepped inside, glancing about for her mentor.

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel was pretty bloody distracted at the time but now she's eager to move on with her life and checking in with a friend who she hasn't seen in quite some time. Most of all that junk that has occupied her life for so long just ... no longer needs to occupy so much of her mind. It's a relief, and a little sad.

Technically, she IS the oldest acquaintance (because she's quite old). And there's another way to look at it too, but not one that Marivel would press.

Marivel understands the world of would've should've could've and wouldn't wish that on someone as sweet as Hannah. She has picked out a cafe in Klein, knowing that Eleanor had been in the area, and she didn't want to really make Hannah travel far...especially with her talent for disappearing for several years.

Marivel has cleaned up, mostly, but is as she has always looked. Like she hasn't aged a day, really, though now that Hannah has seen her younger self--she can see a difference in those eyes--less tired than they used to be, but still...a time that has weathered her expression that her youthful form just doesn't have.

She's seated indoors. It's evening, so she can sit by the window. She has some tea before her--and Hob and Nob are floating nearby--but she doesn't seem to be paying too much attention to her surroundings.

Instead, Hob and Nob float over to Hannah and immediately mob her, as usual, with chirps and orb snuggles. They are only MORE excied because they haven't seen Hannah in years.

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah, despite her worries consuming her in recent years, (not to mention the guilt over abandoning her former life that is now starting to eat at her ever since learning Eleanor thought she'd died), can't help but smile a little as Hob and Nob come up to her. The smile is genuine, but a bit tained with sadness, and she isn't quite as exuberant as her younger self to see them, but she is, indeed, very happy to see them regardless.

"Hey, Hob. Hey, Nob. Long time no see..." She gives them both a gentle hug, gently holding them close to her. "It's been far too long," she says quietly, more to herself than the two orbs.

Zephyr hops off of her shoulder with a gentle flapping of his wings, alighting delicately on the window sill closest to Marivel. He gives her a soft chirp by way of greeting, then looks over to Hannah. Hannah takes a moment to enjoy Hob and Nob's company, and then carefully steps around them to make her way to the table. She slips her satchel off from under her cloak---there is a wrapped up bundle on top that can only be a rifle, which is another change--then takes the seat opposite Marivel.

She has the countenance of a kid who has done something bad, and knows that they've been caught, but is trying desperately not to address it directly for as long as they can. "Hi, Miss Marivel."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Hob and Nob will allow Hannah to hold them onto them as long as they need to. They were made, essentially, to be Support Animals. Robotic Support Animals that happen to be flying robot eyeballs--but support animals all the same.

Marivel smiles at Zephyr, "Hey Zephyr. Still looking after our Hannah, huh?" She offers Zephyr a bit of bird feed before looking back over to Hannah. Her eyes settle on the rifle--she supposes that any Drifter would be fool enough to not travel with protection. She thinks about that wild magic from before but she should be cautious about approaching that subject. It doesn't seem to be out of control even if it's... different. Different is not neccessarily bad!

But it can be.

"...To think, you were that kind woman from the Memory Maze, that long ago... It had been so long, I didn't quite... recognize the resemblance before. Of course the hair was different, and she was older than how I remembered you but..."

She smiles, "I really owe you one."

Oh no! She's doing worse than chastizing you for bad behavior. She's praising you while you're feeling guilty!!

"It's been so long. And I never got to ask you how your schooling went."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah definitely needs a moment to hold Hob and Nob. She's isolated herself far, far, too long.

Zephyr chirps in reply to Marivel, which can probably safely be taken as a 'Yes'. They've been inseperable ever since Hannah was young, and it seems like no matter who else she may have avoided, she didn't ditch Zephyr. Zephyr chirps extra happily when the bird feed is introduced and eagerly accepts, though is very careful, of course, not to injure Marivel with his beak.

Hannah stiffens a little as Marivel mentions the memory maze, and then her expression seems to turn even more morose. She can't bring herself to look up to Marivel. "So that really was you, n' not just a memory... I didn't know you'd... that you'd... Um, gone through that." Here, she finally looks up to Marivel again. "I meant it, though. What I said. If you ever need my help, I swear you'll have it, no matter what."

She nods a bit at the comment about her hair. "Oh, um, yeah, it just... was easier this way." That might not be the whole reason, but then again, she's hiding an awful lot already.

She blinks and looks down again, blushing as Marivel thanks her. "Was the least I could do," comes the feeble half-protest.

When Sielje is mentioned, her expression craters, and even though she's already looking down, she also looks away. She tenses up, as she carefully admits, "I... I didn't finish..." Though she clearly kept studying, even if she wasn't doing it at Sielje.

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel, conversely, kind of needs this little moment with Zephyr. Hob and Nob are treasures, but as of late her feelings of loneliness and pain have been hitting her as hard as they've ever hit her since the loss of her people.

"Well, it's a bit of both." Marivel says. "For me, it is a memory. But several thousand years ago some very kind people showed me a great deal of kindness when I was at a low point in my life, when I was lost in my worst moment..." She pauses. "Well, I mean... I didn't exactly want you to know? Genocide isn't something a young girl should have to hear about, especially not one from several thousand years ago. It has never been easy for me to speak of my own pain--I had to, of course, to let people know the truth about me, about history... But..."

She leans forward to look into Hannah's eyes. "I don't want you to help me out of guilt. I didn't ... I didn't pay all those visits so you'd feel obligated to me, you know? I just wanted you to live a happy life. That is the only 'obligation' you really have to me. If you manage that, this old lady will be happy I promise you."

This isn't platitudes. It is her true desire.

She can sense something is wrong. She can sense the guilt. Hannah isn't the first kid she looked after, and she has seen many more guilty faces than this in her time.

Marivel decides to stop dancing around it. "Tis because of your magic, then? Were you having trouble with it? I... do not wish to make presumptions, Hannah. Would you mind sharing me your story? I have time to listen."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Zephyr is quite happy to provide Marivel with that moment of connection. He's most often seen around Hannah, of course. There was a phase, early on, where she claimed she could talk with him, but she seemed to have grown out of that phase and mostly only talked to him after a while. Still, he's friendly enough, especially to people who are friendly to Hannah.

"I guess that makes sense..." Genocide is a pretty heavy topic for a kid to absorb, after all.

She hasn't been seeking out eye contact with Marivel, but... she feels obligated enough (despite what she says) to give it to her when she seeks it out. She owes Marivel that much, at least. "I... no, but... I mean... I wanted to, I just..." She does feel guilty, but she still looks up to Marivel all the same, and it's incredibly hard to separate all of those conflicting feelings at the moment. Then she says she wants Hannah to live a happy life... and she breaks her gaze again, giving a barely audible "Okay."

She has not been living a happy life recently.

Then Marivel cuts to the chase, and... Hannah closes her eyes. She nods. "Yeah. There's... there's somehin' wrong with it... some... some kinda corruption or something I can't figure out..." She opens a pouch at her waist and pulls a few of her crest graphs out, sharing them with Marivel. "Tried t' get it so I can filter it out of my spellcastin', but it doesn't get it all, n' it's still there in my magic anyhow."

All of her crest graphs, if Marivel is familiar with the art, seem designed to filter something out, or at least to channel it in a predictable way.

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel smiles at Zephyr and observes her for a long moment. She has this sort of...... easygoing nature going about her right now that was pretty atypical compared to her previous visits. She isn't exactly being careless, but she is keeping relaxed and smooth in how she's engaging Hannah right now.

She wants Hannah to live a happy life. But Hannah is not living a happy life. "...To be clear," She says softly. "I do not mean to suggest that times of sorrow are somehow failing in this, just the pursuit of it is enough. I'm confident you'll reach it so long as you try."

There seems to be soemthing wrong with the magic. A ... corruption. Marivel frowns, thinking back... She really doesn't want Hannah to get involved in that old business.

"Hm...." Marivel thinks this over. She doesn't want to color her perspective on this, because she also doesn't know if that's the truth. "Is it...getting any worse, or is it--stable the way it is?" She asks.

But the sad truth of the matter is, the odds of it being something else would be miraculous, wouldn't it?

"I think we should talk to your sis about it." She says eventually. A second mind on it would do wonders. As of late, Marivel is less confident in her ability to discern through these sensitive matters and she doesn't want to make these choices on her own. It could be nothing. If it's stable, magic that's a little 'off' doesn't REALLY matter too much, does it?

"I just... do not wish to make preconceived judgements. I know some specialists in Crest magic but the origin of this 'corruption' may not be in the Crest Magic. Is it...bothering your thoughts in ways that feel alien to you?"

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah, meanwhile, is pretty much the opposite of easygoing.

Marivel clarifies that the pursuit of happiness is enough, times of strife notwithstanding, and Hannah slumps forward. She folds her arms on the table and rests her head on top of them. "... I.... I don't know what I'm doin' with myself anymore," she confesses. "Everything's a mess."

It takes her a long time to answer that next question. An uncomfortably long time, with the kind of silence that gives the game away. Eventually, though, she does say it, in a hoarse whisper. "I've been trying to manage it, but... it's gettin' worse."

She closes her eyes when Marivel mentions her sis. Her voice sounds even more fragile now. "Ain't seen her in five years... same as you and Eleanor. Ain't seen anybody, save Zephyr." A long pause. "I'm so sorry, Miss Marivel. I got scared, and I ran, and..."

She sniffles a little. "Ain't the crests. It's me. I've... been having problems with my magic. It'd like... flare up, or go a little out of my control, no matter how much I practiced. I practiced more and it seemed to get worse, and there was this accident... I didn't start it, but I tried t' fix it an' made it worse 'cause my magic got all screwy."

Zephyr hops down from the sill, leaning down to nuzzle the top of Hannah's head. She continues, "Realized it was my magic that was wrong. Got scared of hurtin' people so... I left. I thought I'd fix it and go back like nothin' ever happened but..."

But then 5 years happened without another word.

She considers Marivel's question. "... No, don't think so...."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel has been there. She wrings her hands for a moment. Particularly when Hannah says it's getting worse. Was she ... wrong? To kepe quiet about this event? She can't be sure. She really can't. But if it's getting worse, it's a danger to Hannah. And maybe the people around Hannah.

She should have looked at those notes, she thinks, before she burned them. Then she'd know for sure. But she didn't want to know. She didn't want anyone to know. She wanted her to be completely free of all that shit without it ever mattering and now it MIGHT.

"...Hannah..." Marivel says softly. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I had no idea."

Did I fail you?

"I should have... approached you when you went missing. I just... was so busy with my own bullshit, I didn't think-- I thought you simply had something you had to do."

At least she didn't think she was DEAD. Maybe she didn't want to think of it as a possibility. An old familiar anxiety, a panic stirs within where her heart would be if she had one. Thump thump thump. Did she doom this girl with her recklessness, her hope?

Marivel pushes it back. She exales once. Steady girl. She's scared so you have to be brave.

"...That's like you, always worrying for others." Marivel manages a smile. "Well--I think that leaves us with a few courses of action to start with. We shouldn't panic just yet but--working together we may be able to find a solution. I have naught but time now." She brightens, remembering this. She can fix this, there's SO MUCH TIME she has now. "And Eleanor, well, she's quite clever and you're friends with her--so between the two of us... and Venetia, of course, would surely be willing to lend a hand. We can take this one step at a time and be methodical until we learn what we need to."

Letting a panic within her inform her actions would only get them both in trouble, she resolves.

"Let us start with finding your sister, perhaps? I can try sending a message through the Memory Cubes." She pauses. "Ah, you did...tell Eleanor, yes?"

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Perhaps the only thing worse than people being concerned for her, and not being angry with her even though they had every right to be, is to have someone apologize to her. She blinks and sits up, and there's something definitely wet and glistening collecting at the corners of her eyes.

"Wha--No, Miss Marivel, it ain't yer fault! It's all my fault! I was boneheaded and went off thinkin' I could fix everything and not havin' to bother anyone with my problems, and, and... Please don't apologize. None a' this is your fault."

Marivel should have approached... Hannah shakes her head at that. "I... I didn't..." She looks down again. "I just wanted to fix it without troublin' anyone, but when I couldn't, I..." She trails off, unable to say the rest.

She avoided everyone, instead. And the longer it got, the harder it got to think about approaching everyone again.

Marivel mentions working together. There is some deep-seated knee jerk reaction within her that almost raises a protest--the one that sees her perpeptually refusing to ask for help, that hates being a burden on others. She even opens her mouth to start the objection but, thankfully, catches herself just in time and closes it again. Instead, she nods a bit. "I'm... managing it, mostly, but... it's not perfect." Then she mentions Eleanor and Hannah nods.

"I haven't seen her in five years, so... I'm not sure where shes at... but... should tell her too, now that I've told you n' Eleanor."

"Yeah," confirms Hannah, about telling Eleanor. "I... she deserved to know. After what I put her through. She, um... She wants me to join ARMS. She says that I'd be helpful to 'em, like I was in the fight, and that... they've got a lot of mages, who might be able to help. I asked for some time to think about it."

She lets that idea sit for a moment. "Not sure if I will or not. I... kind of feel like I owe Eleanor, sort of? But I'm also not keen on becoming a lab experiment."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Hannah, I'm not going to-- pressure you to do anything you don't feel is right for you." Marivel says. "But---I have tried working alone, fixing my troubles on my own--allowing the burden of my work define me and ... even taking some pride in this torment I was inflicting upon myself."

She shakes her head. "It is not worth it, Hannah. But I won't insist on anything any stronger than that because--it is your life, you get to decide how you live it and what you are comfortable with."

Eleanor said she wanted Hannah to join ARMS. In a way, the idea shouldn't horrify Marivel. Maybe the other kids she brought in didn't bother her so much because she knew they'd be joining in. She didn't know with Hannah and that memory of Hannah as a fresh young kid excited and nervous about going to school is as fresh in her mind as if it happened weeks ago.

But Eleanor usually knows what to do too. She takes a moment to reflect on it and says, "Take your time," in agreement. "A stitch in time saves nine--but you know, we'll help you even if you do not join. That's the kind of people these people are. And I'm definitely," Her eyes narrow. "--not going to let ARMS experiment on you. Not that I think they'd try, of course, I mean..."

She frowns. "I'm in charge of their support division so I'd be really nettled if they did that kind of thing behind my back. Any sort of investigation should be down with your approval and no more. It is your body and--not like some kind of intergalactic threat, after all."

She isn't going to presume it is anyway. "I doubt Eleanor is the type of person who would want you to do something uncomfortable for you simply to appease her." She smiles. "Have a little faith in us, mm?" Or maybe, she thinks, it is about faith in yourself--but she isn't going to just throw that out there just yet.

"You know, Rochelle and the others--I'm sure they'd be happy to see you. If you haven't been back in a while..."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

"I don't want to you to tell me what to do..." Well, okay, maybe some part of her wishes there was a solution to her problems she could just be told but... Anyway. "... but I do... um, look up to you. An' you give good advice, so..." She falls silent as Marivel explains that she's tried going at it solo before, with little success. She blinks a little, clearly astonished.

She's learning a lot about her mentor, lately.

There is the briefest of smiles as Marivel mentions she wouldn't let them experiment on her. But Marivel explains further that they're not like that, and Hannah looks glumly down at the table. "No, I know, I know, I just..." She figits a bit as she tries to find the words, and Zephyr gives her an encouraging chirp.

"It's... hard... for me... askin' for help..." That much might be plainly obvious to most others who have dealt with her, but it's tremendously difficult for her to admit it. To say the words out loud.

But she looks up as Marivel mentions she runs the support division. "Wait... really? So, if I joined, um..." She glances away a little. "... we'd be working together, possibly?"

Is she suddenly getting shy at the thought of being able to work with one of her idols? Definitely not.

Hannah sighs. "No, she's not..." she agrees. "She's always been helpful, even when I was fool enough to try n' turn it down..." She nods a little, "I'll try." To have a little faith.

But that last question makes her look about the guilties she has yet. "I... I couldn't... not without finishing school, and when I couldn't fix..." She trails off, but it's easy to imagine how she got stuck with that thought as she did all the others. "... But... most of the money I've been earnin'... I sent it back there, to them. Don't really need much, livin' on the road."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel says, "Yes, I helped form ARMS. I mean," She waggles her hand around. "Technically, I formed ARMS because ARMS visited me before I knew them so by the process of time travel I helped form ARMS so that ARMS would visit me in the past in the future."

"But, you know, yeah, pretty much. It was awful, actually! I'm glad I'm past all that nonsense and I no longer have to think if me making a friend means I am fucking up the timeline or if I have to do some awful thing to ensure what happens needs to happen. I can just be me again."

She sighs. "But I've had enough of me as of late, just--"

She gives good advice and she smiles, "Tis easier to give than receive. That goes for help, for advice, for many things--wouldn't you say?"

We'd be working together possibly?

"We'd be working together regardless, Hannah." Marivel smiles. "I don't want to travel alone anymore and you're an important part of my life. It is true that if you join ARMS, we would likely spend more time together than if you did not--but that doesn't neccessarily equate to a stronger comradery. But what ARMS will give you is ready access to a support team that will work for you, and comrades that will fight for you--and with you. And people you could fight for too. The difference is not really a matter of whether or not you are working with me, or Eleanor, or anyone--it's a matter of being part of a larger team seeking to fight for goals a single band of Drifters would struggle to accomplish on their own."

"But..." She pauses. "We have a unique relationship, not shared by many in the organization. There's Kamui, of course--I could see why it might be uncomfortable... Just give it an appropriate amount of thought and care before making a decision. Consider all the angles and I will respect your choice."

Marivel is completely unsurprised of Hannah's estimation of Eleanor. Eleanor is a total sweetie, really.

"Even if you aren't comfortable staying long, they'll miss you--If you aren't careful you'll miss them."

There are many ways to take that that Marivel won't clarify but smells of personal experience. Marivel often acts like a know-it-all but sometimes that's just because she has just fallen into all the potholes and learned some lessons. Not even all of them.

"I know I want to visit again. They must be so tall now, and maybe some got adopted. It's been known to happen, even in the wilderness."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah blinks a little bit as Marivel explains that she helped form ARMS, but only so that ARMS could one day visit her in the past (in the future)... There's a moment as she puzzles that out.

"Oh," she says after a moment. "Like an ontological paradox of some kind?"

She frowns a little after she says that. Wait, does that mean she's part of the causal loop now, too, after visiting Marivel in her personal past? But she didn't recognize her, so that should be okay, right? ...

Oh dear. That must have been a lot of pressure indeed, if Marivel was dealing with far more things than just a simple meeting over such a long timescale. Probably best not to dwell on that thought too much.

But it's easier to give advice than receive it... Hannah does actually blush a little at that thought. "... Yeaah, it is..."

But Marivel says they'd be working together regardless. "I promised Eleanor I wouldn't run off without telin' her again. And I promise I won't do that to you neither. I owe you that much, at least..." And before Marivel can say she doesn't owe her anything, she very firmly says, "An' I do owe it to ya. Eleanor thought I was dead, and I can't imagine what you might've thought, but... I don't want that to happen again."

"People I could fight for, huh...? And accomplishin' big goals..." muses Hannah quietly. There is a long silence as Hannah reflects on that. She looks out the window, her gaze different. There's another difficult confession welling up within her that she eventually starts to break out. "When we were fightin' that jerk before... I... I saw how everyone was fightin', tradin' barbs and tryin' t' talk him down, but I just..."

She falls silent again, closing her eyes as she tries to finish the rest of the thought. This is Marivel. If she can't tell her--or Suzie, who isn't here right now--who can she tell?

"... didn't feel anything. I mean, sure, I didn't want Filgaia to be destroyed, and I ain't saying I didn't care if I survived or not, but everyone was just so... invested in the fight and for me it was just survival. Coulda been some highway robber and it woulda felt just the same. If it wasn't for you n' Eleanor, and that brave little Rito girl..."

She pauses, not sure how she wants to finish that thought. It's hard enough putting that much together.

But the orphanage... "I kept tellin' myself I couldn't go back 'cause it wasn't safe for me to be around 'em, but... I think I was jus' scared of what they'd think of me." She lays her head on her arms, still gazing out the window. "Feels like I've made a mess of things."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Pretty much," Marivel agrees. "Like a paradox." One squarely in her past now. Speaking of it is like speaking of an object you see in a rearview mirror. In time it'll get farther and farther away until it's a distant memory. She can only hope she'll be so fortunate. Her shoulders used to ache so much.

But she doesn't want to dwell on it with poor Hannah except to catch her up. "That's fair, especially since she thought you were dead." She frowns, wondering why Eleanor would think that. It could just be an assumption, but could it have been...A vision? The future is changeable but it won't change if you don't change it... But it also could just be she left without saying anything, possibly with a mess her magic left behind... but she doesn't really want to press Hannah on stuff like this in this meeting. What she really wants to do...

What she really wants to do...

Is just talk to this friend, catch up, and...that's about it really.

"Well, I just thought...you had things you had to do. Drifter stuff, you know?" Marivel says. "I never really... I always thought you might go on some grand adventure of your own, you know? And if you left school a bit early for it, well, that just meant you were in a hurry to get going. It was never about the degree, you know? IT was about meeting people. And you met Eleanor. And you met others, there, I'm sure? You're the sort of person who doesn't need a certificate to be intelligent--you ARE intelligent. And if there's knowledge out there you'll need--you'll find it whether it's back at Sielje or buried in a tomb somewhere."

She isn't the sort of person to insist on a diploma.

She thinks of Boomerang and Luceid. She doesn't know where they went but she hopes Luceid is okay.

"Aw, well... Don't feel so bad about that, Hannah." Marivel smiles. "I mean, I knew Luceid. Boomerang had fought these people many times before. They had more personal investment in the fight, that's all. I'm sure you'll pick up a few rivals of your own in time."

But maybe there's more to it than that. That it could've been just some highway robber. She is reminded of Medli, wonderful Medli... whom she really should speak to one day.

"Oh Hannah..." Marivel's heart breaks. She doesn't quite start crying but her eyes do feel a bit misty.

"You still love them so much..."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

If how Hannah treated Marivel was any indication... she left Sielje with hardly an explanation and then just proceeded not to talk to anyone for 5 years. Under those circumstances... it's only natural to think someone might have died, if they don't get in touch for so long.

Marivel thought she was on some grand adventure. Hannah shakes her head a little. "I wasn't. I was just... trying to figure out what was happenin' to my magic. Seen a lot of interestin' things, but I ain't really enjoyin' much of it." She sighs a little. "Yeah, I met a buncha folks... And I know I don't need the diploma but... I wanted it. I wanted to show I could do it all proper like, just... to know I could."

"Did take all my books an' such with me when I left, though, so's I could keep studying on my own, at least..."

The others had more personal investment, and she'll get a rivel someday... "No, I know, but... I just..." She closes her eyes. "It feels like I don't care about anythin' these days aside from fixin' my magic and takin' care of Zephyr. An' even at that it feels more like he's takin' care of me, sometimes. They all care about somethin', somethin' important and I'm just..." She snorts a bit contemptuously at herself for the word choice. "... drifting through everything. Even that little girl fought so hard..."

"I do," admits Hannah, her voice cracking a little.

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

Marivel just doesn't think like that. Five years is like 5 months in her head especially when for a vast majority of those five years she was busy helping run ARMS. She wouldn't be able to function as a Crimson Noble if each day truly felt like a day. The 'weight of time' was more about the metaphor than the literal passage of it--though that wasn't entirely seperate of it, for certain--but five years is certainly within her nature to just...flit on by.

And she's not particularly proud of this, honestly. It just is what it is. The precious time slips away so quickly and she is left with regrets and sorrow for those she always thought would stick around--even when she knew they wouldn't.

Befriend them early, Hannah had essentially taught her, then you can take joy in seeing them form their own truths and shapes and the passage of the clock's hand will have some joy to it.

"A lot of grand adventures start that way, to be fair!" Marivel says. "...But if you're not enjoying it, well, that's no good. Maybe we can get there in time."

She wanted that diploma.

"...Yeah," Marivel admits. "I know. You know, I can... check with them. See if they can't take you back--when you're READY to come back, I mean. I'm not rusing you or anything--but maybe some day you can return and finish your studies. Something to look forward to, perhaps? Just to give you someting like that?"

Ah, Marivel realizes, it's not just that the magic is 'corrupt'. It's that it's a sign for her that it's something she 'can't' do--or at least it evokes that fear.

"Learning never ends, books or no books." She smiles. "But I'm glad you're still a reader."

It feels that she doesn't care about anything aside from fixing her magic and taking care of Zephyr. Marivel knows it isn't the same but she thinks back to when all she could think about was making sure the Day of Promise would happen as it was meant to happen, and how she hurt people in the process of that chase.

Is it...

...Is it Hannah, or is it the corruption?

"Well Zephyr does seem real capable, don't you?" Marivel manages, weakly.

Even that little girl fought so hard

Marivel has nothing she can say to that. Frankly, Medli is super precious and adorable but the real thing she has to admire about her is her sense of duty. She has seen children like that before, but few have lived it so extremely as Medli.

Marivel scootches around the chair over to Hannah so she can hug the young woman.

"I remember you telling me that you worried they'd think you were abandoning them. But you didn't. Even when you weren't there, you were sending them a way to live. I'm sure they're worried. Take the time you need, but don't take too long. Time's hand ever moves onward, Hannah. But you're a smart girl. You'll go when it's the right time to."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah, sadly, is stuck with a mortal perception of time. And for her and Eleanor... 5 years is roughly a quarter of their lives lived so far.

Marivel offers to check, and Hannah is silent for a long while as she considers that. Finally, in a tired voice, she asks, "... do you really think they might let me?" Another pause. "That'd be nice, yeah. I really did learn lots of neat stuff there..."

"He is," agrees Hannah, though her voice just sounds so tired. "More'n most people realize." Zephyr warbles sadly and leans down to affectionately rub his cheek against her head.

Hannah's always been good at taking care of the younger kids in her orphanage... and Medli evokes that instinct something fierce in her.

She leans in against Marivel. "I guess I did manage that much," she concedes. But time's hand moves ever onwards... "I know. I... I didn't mean for it all to happen like this, for it to be five years... I... I want to go back, but... I'm not ready."

She sighs, closing her eyes. "I'm so tired, Miss Marivel. Been tryin' to solve this thing for five years now and ain't got nowhere, always on the move... I missed talkin' to you. I missed talkin' to Suzie and Eleanor and everyone else. I'm sorry I was hidin' from everyone. The longer it took the more awkward it felt to get back in touch..."

<Pose Tracker> Marivel Armitage has posed.

"Ah, well, I don't know the future anymore so there's only one way for me to find out. I certainly don't lose anything by asking about it. Certainly some potential explanations are more compelling than others but we have a number of positive factors, I believe, yes. I wouldn't want to strongarm them, of course, you want this to be about your accomplishments after all--there might be concessions, but you wouldn't be the first person who had to suddenly leave their schooling for one reason or another. They aren't unreasoned people. Schools want people to graduate, after all."

Even if five years, even to Marivel's understanding, is a few levels more extreme than those who usually need like a year off or so.

Hannah's been a tough cool drifter, Marivel realizes, but some part of her is scarcely apart from that nervous child. It's a bittersweet feeling. She needs to find Susana to talk to her about it. Even more than Eleanor, some people need to be talked to first. Eleanor might be that close second, though.

"You know what they say, the best time to start is five years ago, the second best time to start is now." Marivel says softly. "Some people go their whole lives running. Don't be so hard on yourself, alright? We'll take it one step at a time?"

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

"... Thanks you," Hannah says softly. "I'd greatly appreciate it. Though, I don't know if my scholarship money would be available anymore, and I didn't save much from--" She tenses up a bit and then stops talking. "... but... we should check first. And then make plans from there."

It's a small thing, cutting off that train of self-defeatist thinking, but... it's progress, in its own way.

"... Maybe... some of the research n' experimentation I did for my crest graphs might be of interest?" she asks, with the barest hint of hopefulness.

It might take a while to get a message to Susanna, on account of her being on the move so much... but she makes it a point to stay in contact, at least.

Hannah nods a little in agreement. "Yeah, they do say that, don't they?" She reaches up to rub at something in her eye with the back of her hand. She wasn't crying, really, but her eyes definitely haven't been dry, either. "I think I'm ready to stop running," she admits. She sits up a bit and looks to you. "One step at a time."