2017-10-12: Phantom Lemons

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=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
===============<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps) *>===============
|Type: Entry       |Dungeon Ability: Agility   |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 Welcome, Drifters, to Akbar's Emporium, where you can find anything for less  
 than its common market value! That pitch might have attracted countless       
 people in the past, but that was centuries ago. Now all that's left is        
 ruins, large warehouses and storehouses connected by isolated hallways with   
 for only way in the main building and lobby. There are two hallways inside:   
 left, and right. You pick left.                                               
                                                                               
 There must have been a big great sale on traps last this place saw any life,  
 because the hobby is jam-packed with them. And what do you know, some of      
 them still work. Or more accurately, some of them are still capable of        
 malfunctioning and misfiring in every direction to give you a right proper    
 greeting!                                                                     
=Dungeon Conditions: Bad Luck=================================================
<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

Iskandra decided to let people know on the various grapevines she has access to, which are still somewhat limited but do serve the purpose, that she was going to look into this old massive store complex for anything worth taking. She's waited near the front for people to show up, and once everyone is there she nods, "So I'm Iskandra Grendorre, and I'm not much of a leader, but I say we stick together and I have decided by means of coinflip that we're going left. Does anyone have any issues with that?"

She doesn't wait for an answer, and just goes left. Immediately regretting the decision when she steps on an old trigger plate. Fortunately the spring on that one has worn out, and the bolt that should've struck her merely lands right next to her feet. That said, it becomes immediately obvious there's a lot more traps in that way, and there's no way to be sure any of them are in an actually functional shape. Best be careful.

Iskandra of course rushes right through, ducking to make her small and trying to avoid stepping on anything nasty, but mostly trying to not be there when the triggered trap fires.

DG: Iskandra Grendorre has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps).
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

If Talise were born a few hundred years earlier and on another planet, she might've even come to a place like this. She's the kind of person who likes to root through old crap.

"I'm Tal," the tall half-Beastwoman greets with a grin, raising her sword in a duellist's salute. "And I'm sure you're a fine leader, Iskandra - can I call you Sandy? Either way, don't sell yourself short before we even get started? Besides-" She winks as she starts after the young woman. "You've got a good bunch backing you up!"

The trigger plate hits beneath the other woman's foot. Blinking, Talise jukes to the side to go around that one - only for something to click underfoot. She looks down and steps back from another pressure plate.

"Althena's well-oiled codpiece," she groans, before a flurry of arrows comes sailing her way.

Grimacing, Talise whips out a large iron shield - the one she'd liberated from one of Grahf's tame jobbers some months ago. Well, fine, Lady Chloe liberated it. The arrows slam into the iron face, immediately ruining the enameling Talise had put on it to display a gold dragon rampant on blue. "Damn it, this sucks," she grumbles as she tries to hunker down behind the shield, moving forward down the path in the hopes of keeping herself from getting shot.

DG: Talise Gianfair has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps).
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied is not particularly in the state to go on a Dig, really. She wasn't even supposed to have gone very far from where she's supposed to be convalescing, but... her senses have a way of toying with her at present. The echoes have become very painful and apparent, and though she didn't answer to any call in particular, she is present at the old storehouse, for something calls to her from within.

"... inside... what are you... saying to me?" she mumbles, in a reverie.

A pause, as she sees someone run in -- and gasps just a little to say, "Ah, watch out!" She peers just for a moment as she tries to gather her surroundings, finding that she's suddenly in an unfamiliar location. She watches Talise, and blinks softly as she goes, "Miss Talise?"

"Where is this...? A Ruin?" she frowns.

She's not in disguise this time, what with having had no time to dress and conceal herself -- so the blonde-haired dragon-girl is in her usual tribal Ellurian wear, with the form-fitting gown and detached sleeves to go with her leggings. The leathery, tattered wings protrude behind her capelet, and the massive draconic deformity at her arm and leg is plain to see.

"It doesn't seem like these traps have been maintained in a long time..." she muses to herself as she proceeds carefully, rather than quickly. Her head was still throbbing painfully.

DG: Riesenlied has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps).
GAME> Iskandra Grendorre looked at you.
Talise Gianfair(#646PenACck)
Talise Gianfair is a fairly tall woman at about six foot one or two, with a fit, hardened build that's still feminine but with a
sense of strength and toughness about her. She looks like someone who spends a lot of time outdoors. She also doesn't try to hide
her heritage, from the pair of little dark stripes cutting across the caramel complexion of her cheeks to the shallow elfin points
of her ears. Her hair has been bleached down to a light, stark platinum blonde, cut short and swept back, the style loose, tousled
and masculine. Despite the rough-cut style her features are fairly pretty, her eyes a striking green colour and her cheeks
healthily rounded, her lips full and soft-looking and her nose slightly upturned. She could be called attractive even without
makeup. Smiles seem to come easily to her; when they do, she often shows off hints of longer-than-normal incisors.

Her outfit tends to vary, but most commonly she's wearing a heavy seafarer's coat cut from a coarse, grey-brown fabric, a row of
buttons running down either breast, with a flaring collar and bold cuffs. Beneath is her typical adventuring outfit. The overlayer
is a white tunic with a broad enough neckline to provide a glimpse of the light chainmail hiding beneath it. The tunic drapes
across her ample breasts and traces down to her hips, where a heavy black belt rides. A pair of dark leather pants hug her hips
and powerfully muscled thighs, while her boots - of a sturdy, workmanlike leather - run up to her knees and sport an array of
crisscrossing buckles. It's evident enough that she's quite muscular beneath the outfit judging from what glimpses are available.
She also tends to carry a two-handed longsword sheathed over one shoulder.

https://dreamchasers.space/images/6/6a/Talise_005.jpg
GAME> Talise Gianfair looked at you.
Iskandra Grendorre
https://i.imgur.com/gxGZ8g5.jpg (Temp Desc)
Riesenlied
(Image: https://dreamchasers.space/images/9/9e/RieseAct2.jpg )

Glance upon Riesenlied on the streets and you'll first notice:

- Dark, chitinous horns protruding from either side of her head. 
- Scale-like metallic growths seen at her left cheeks and temple, and her right arm and leg.
- Pale-blonde hair worn long, well below her waist. The hair is remarkably fine given the desert conditions in Filgaia, really.
- Pale skin complexion bordering on sickly.
- Dark-red eyes of a slightly metallic tinge. A bit curious, like something's a little off.
- Tribal cloak with embroidered gold patterns, with detached sleeves.
- Form-fitting dress, Pleated ankle-length skirt and Opaque leggings underneath. It's all very prim and proper, the kind worn by
someone who doesn't really like showing that much skin off.

Riesenlied often carries herself in a very calm and gentle demeanor, and her posture and gait very much reflects that: unhurried,
but with a firmness that suggests resolve instead of the uncertainty that such softness may reflect in someone else.
<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

There is a place spoken of only in the ancient tales. A place where you could get amazing deals on everything from swords to armor to traps to the occasional exotic crepe. A place that has long since been lost to the sands of time, perhaps. But there are some things that are... Eternal...!

"Hmhmhmhm...!" A voice echoes across the entrance to the ruin. A shadow falls long across the party. A scarfed figure, atop a nearby signpost...! "Riesenlied, Talise, I see... That you too have come to this beacon of commerce, this oasis of value in a desert of BAD DEALS...!"

Zed leaps! In his hand, is clutched...

...

That's a flyer.

It looks... Ancient.

It reads: CRAZY AKBAR'S CRAZY DEALS - FINAL CLOSING SALE. EVERYTHING MUST GO. GET YOUR TRAPS HERE, TRAPS OF ALL SHAPES AND COLORS. BUY FIVE TRAPS AND GET YOUR SIXTH TRAP FREE. BY TEN TRAPS AND GET A FREE SCARF!!

Well.

That's... probably why Zed is here.

"Come, friends!" Zed leaps, surging upwards as he uses his bright, orange muffler to swing from rafter to rafter and hopefully avoid all manner of terrible and nefarious traps below. "I SENSE FANTASTIC BARGAINS IN OUR NEAR FUTURE."

DG: Zed has used his Tool Grapple Scarf toward his party's challenge, Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps).
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

The last time Jacqueline had seen Riesenlied, she was bedridden and needed the help of Noeline and Mikaia - the shy, winged orphan - in order to take the medicine she'd brought for her. So Jacqueline was understandably alarmed when she went to check on her only to find her missing, having apparently fled in some direction.

Coincidentally, around the same time she had received an invitation from Iskandra to check out a certain ruin...a ruin that was purportedly in the same direction Riesenlied had left. And so, Jacqueline decided there was nothing for it but to follow her trail. She knows she's not going to be able to just drag Riesenlied back, so they might as well see what this place had in store, right?

...And besides. She couldn't help but be a little curious. There was something interesting about this place, and relevant to her - an old place of business, with some of its trappings still visible...

And, as it happens, some of its traps.

"It's good to see you, everyone...let's take this carefully, alright?" Jacqueline says. Contrary to her words, though, her next action is reaching into her bags, taking a dose of a pale-green potion, and rushing ahead.

She seems to be able to outrun the traps...but can she keep it up?

DG: Jacqueline Barber has used her Tool Invigoration Elixir toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps).
<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

There had been a few rumors about some ancient warehouse or another, out in the wastes.

Considering she had gone off into a trip in the desert just a couple weeks back on a rumor, gotten turned around and lost and quite possibly only saved by the sudden discovery of an oasis, well, this isn't out of character for Josephine Lovelace.

Oh yes, and she's still nursing some injuries (angry if fading bruises at this point). This was a terrific idea!

"Huh," the archaeologist comments, gazing upwards at the interior once she walks on in with the small group. "I guess they weren't kidd--"

wherever Drifters may venture, there are always arrows

"--ing--"

Penelope takes flight from Josie's shoulder in a flurry of white.

Josie ducks as arrows fly by, then takes a hurried leap over the very suspicious plate-like object she nearly stepped on as she half-turns back towards the entrance. That sounded... familiar.

"...Riesenlied? Where did you come from?"

Something explodes, quite near at hand.

"You know what? Let's chat after things stop blowing up~"

With that, she turns and books it, ducking as necessary here and there.

DG: Josephine Lovelace has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps).
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
===============<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps) *>===============
|Type: Entry       |Dungeon Ability: Agility   |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 Welcome, Drifters, to Akbar's Emporium, where you can find anything for less  
 than its common market value! That pitch might have attracted countless       
 people in the past, but that was centuries ago. Now all that's left is        
 ruins, large warehouses and storehouses connected by isolated hallways with   
 for only way in the main building and lobby. There are two hallways inside:   
 left, and right. You pick left.                                               
                                                                               
 There must have been a big great sale on traps last this place saw any life,  
 because the hobby is jam-packed with them. And what do you know, some of      
 them still work. Or more accurately, some of them are still capable of        
 malfunctioning and misfiring in every direction to give you a right proper    
 greeting!                                                                     
=Dungeon Conditions: Bad Luck=================================================
====================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon - Round 1 *>====================
=================< Results - Akbar's Warm Welcome (Not Traps) >=================
Player                               Exhaustion                      Pass/Fail
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Iskandra Grendorre                  0 --(0)--> 0                   Fail
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talise Gianfair                     0 --(0)--> 0                   Pass
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riesenlied                          0 --(0)--> 0                   Pass
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josephine Lovelace                  0 --(0)--> 0                   Pass
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacqueline Barber                   0 --(0)--> 0                   Pass
Invigoration Elixir                 2   Agility Effects: Stalwart             
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zed                                 0 --(0)--> 0                   Pass
Grapple Scarf                       2   Agility Effects: Quicken              
-----------------------------------< Party >------------------------------------
Leader: Iskandra Grendorre          0 --(15)--> 15                 Pass
Conditions: Bad Luck(2)
Effects: Quicken(1)|Stalwart(1)
===============================< Dream Chasers >================================
DG: The party led by Iskandra Grendorre has passed this challenge! The party gained 15 exploration! If anyone needs to use party
management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.
<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

Turns out Iskandra's recklessness has her trip over a wire and hit her head on the floor. The trap that accompanies it then dumps her feet down a pit and she has to struggle to prevent herself from falling in. That makes her the only one to face meaningful issues from the traps, however, with Talise protected behind her shield, Josephine and Jacqueline rushing in with more success, Zed swinging out of reach of the traps...

... and Riesenlied, well who knows how she got past them; she was already there.

DG: Talise Gianfair has drawn a new Challenge.
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
=====<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not A Fire Hazard) *>=====
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Agility   |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 It's one of those rooms, with torches everywhere. None of them lit. A barred  
 door with an ancient mechanism, no doubt tied to the torches. Get to work,    
 Drifters! No, wait... maybe don't... too late.                                
                                                                               
 The first torch is lit. The fire spreads to the wall, revealed to be cheaply  
 constructed with flammable materials. Within moments, the entire room is a    
 blazing inferno. Run for the door, get it open, or return from the way you    
 came and seek another way forward!                                            
=Dungeon Conditions: Bad Luck=================================================
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

"Wait, what - Riesenlied?!" Talise asks sharply, blinking as she looks up over the edge of her shield. She lowers it just a little. The outer corners of her eyes wrinkle a bit with wariness, but the Metal Demon woman seems in no shape to be a threat - and even if she were more focused, she's one of the good Metal Demons anyway. "You okay? Be careful, they're old traps but they still work--"

And then another Metal Demon puts in an appearance.

Talise lovers her eyelids a little. "Never change, Zed," she says drily. "Never change."

A few arrows whistle past Talise as she trips another pressure plate, but Amon Rau's old shield soaks them up with a steely clang. Talise makes it through the arrow line with little further difficulty, brushing herself off with a clear of her throat. "Everyone okay?" she asks as she shoulders the shield again. As she realizes not everyone is, she turns back to offer Iskandra a hand climbing out of the pit. "Hang in there," she urges her with a little grin, as if to assure her it's alright.

Soon enough, though, the group's moving on. In the room beyond, a huge stone door lies far at the end, along with a series of torches along either walls. Wetting her lips with a quick pass of her tongue, Talise reaches into her pack for a match. "I think we need to light these in a certain order," she says as she moves to light the first torch.

The fire flickers to life.

And spreads down the shaft of the torch. Talise blinks.

The actual torch mount catches on fire next. Then it begins to spread through the wall.

"Well, doodles," Talise says with a dip of her lashes.

Then she's scrambling down the hall towards the door as fast as she can, the fire rapidly chasing her. "Hurry!" she shouts as more and more of the room is engulfed in flame.

DG: Talise Gianfair has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not A
Fire Hazard).
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied, at the very least, looks genuinely contrite once her senses start to stop throbbing in pain and she's starting to catch up to what's going on. "M-Miss Talise, Miss Jacqueline, Miss Josephine?" she pauses with a rueful frown at what had happened again. "I was resting in bed..." She stares at Zed. "Deals...?" Nope, she has no idea about what this place entails.

...

She sighs just for a moment, putting her hand to her forehead. "... it happened again."

She shakes her head and says, "I'm--I'm so sorry--" she winces again, her knees buckling just a little, but she winces as she helps Iskandra with a helping hand as well. "Are you okay?" she asks with genuine, soft concern.

She looks towards the next room and-- her eyes widen as she gasps, saying, "That's--" she stares at the wall, then hurries and covers her head. "It's so hot...!"

DG: Riesenlied has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not A Fire
Hazard).
<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

"I appreciate the vote of confidence." Iskandra answers Talise once she gets out of the pit, "But I don't think this is great. I'm still adapting to the whole 'different world', 'I don't have my comfy apothecary store anymore' and 'everyone I love is dead' things. I'll have to, though." One of these things is not like the other.

She's also helped by Riese, and the alchemist smiles faintly, "Mostly. It takes more than this to bang up me, I'm a tough girl. Who are you? I'm Iskandra Gr--" Fire. Fire spreading rapidly, she hurries along, folding her wings tightly around herself to minimize her exposure to the flame.

DG: Iskandra Grendorre has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not
A Fire Hazard).
<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

"Hmn. You say you do not know?" Zed peers down at Riesenlied like she's somehow gone totally pear-shaped. "Well, you are in for a treat! ACCORDING TO--" Zed holds up his flyer for everyone to see! "THIS promotional material I found in the deep, depraved depths of the main computer archives, THIS PLACE IS FULL OF GREAT DEALS."

Beat.

"ALSO Devet sent me here to pick up some merch."

Beat.

"LET'S GO!"

Zed goes! Zed... Begins dodging fire. Fire is pretty bad, you know? Catching fire is painful.

DG: Zed has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward his party's challenge, Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not A Fire Hazard).
<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

With perhaps all of a little bit of a flourish (specifically: Josie lifts her left forearm, Penelope alights upon it), Josie crosses the threshhold into the next room, unscathed.

"You don't look too good, kiddo..." She frowns as if tasting the word and finding it too bitter. "Hm, no, no. You're probably not young enough to be a kiddo, right? Let's see, what's a good nickname..."

Penelope seizes this moment to strut up the length of Josie's arm and wriggle her way into the space between the collar and the archaeologist's neck.

Her gaze meanwhile travels across her exploring companions and settles on Talise. "--Oh, right. Hey, Talise, I still owe you." Digging around in her pocket for a moment or two, she extracts a...

A few gella. "Here, now we're even," she says, handing the coins over. Then pauses, considering what the beastwoman's up to. "Oh, I get it. Need a light?" Josie asks, already producing a lighter.

The torch is lit.

...Really lit.

The sconce is... melting.

Josie stands there, still holding her lighter for all of five seconds.

"I think we should run," she says.

And then does precisely that.

DG: Josephine Lovelace has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not
A Fire Hazard).
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
=====<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not A Fire Hazard) *>=====
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Agility   |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 It's one of those rooms, with torches everywhere. None of them lit. A barred  
 door with an ancient mechanism, no doubt tied to the torches. Get to work,    
 Drifters! No, wait... maybe don't... too late.                                
                                                                               
 The first torch is lit. The fire spreads to the wall, revealed to be cheaply  
 constructed with flammable materials. Within moments, the entire room is a    
 blazing inferno. Run for the door, get it open, or return from the way you    
 came and seek another way forward!                                            
=Dungeon Conditions: Bad Luck=================================================
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

"I'm doing alright!" Jacqueline calls back, once they all manage to regroup.

She glances toward Riesenlied when she seems to realize the situation she was in.

"...You should still be, but it's too late to turn back now. I have more of the medicine I gave you on hand, so if you feel like you need it let me know immediately, alright?" She replies, her tone slightly scolding. "Honestly, Noeline should consider just tying you down next time..."

She glances toward Iskandra then as she replies to Talise, and...Jacqueline's not sure what to say to that, so she moves to assess the puzzle at hand.

The puzzle that soon begins to rapidly catch fire.

"...Oh." Jacqueline says...and bolts.

DG: Jacqueline Barber has contributed a Agility Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not A
Fire Hazard).
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
=====<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not A Fire Hazard) *>=====
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Agility   |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 It's one of those rooms, with torches everywhere. None of them lit. A barred  
 door with an ancient mechanism, no doubt tied to the torches. Get to work,    
 Drifters! No, wait... maybe don't... too late.                                
                                                                               
 The first torch is lit. The fire spreads to the wall, revealed to be cheaply  
 constructed with flammable materials. Within moments, the entire room is a    
 blazing inferno. Run for the door, get it open, or return from the way you    
 came and seek another way forward!                                            
=Dungeon Conditions: Bad Luck=================================================
====================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon - Round 2 *>====================
=======< Results - Akbar's Safe-To-Lit Torch Puzzle (Not A Fire Hazard) >=======
Player                               Exhaustion                      Pass/Fail
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Iskandra Grendorre                  0 --(0)--> 0                   Fail
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talise Gianfair                     0 --(0)--> 0                   Fail
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riesenlied                          0 --(0)--> 0                   Pass
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josephine Lovelace                  0 --(0)--> 0                   Fail
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacqueline Barber                   0 --(0)--> 0                   Fail
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zed                                 0 --(0)--> 0                   Pass
Rush                                0   Agility Effects: BASIC                
-----------------------------------< Party >------------------------------------
Leader: Iskandra Grendorre          15 --(15)--> 30                Pass
Conditions: Bad Luck(2)
Effects: 
===============================< Dream Chasers >================================
DG: The party led by Iskandra Grendorre has passed this challenge! The party gained 15 exploration! If anyone needs to use party
management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

"Fire tends to be hot!" Talise calls back to Riesenlied. She bites her lower lip firmly as she watches the disoriented Metal Demon seemingly struggling with the situation.

With a jingle of mail and a flicker of her coat, Talise whirls around and starts rushing back into the fire. "Riese, hold on!" she shouts as she darts towards the woman - and with a sudden sweep of strong arms, she swings a limb under Riese's knees and another behind her shoulders, whirling her up into a classic princess carry.

She nods once, the fire roaring down the corridor as she begins to carry Riese towards the exit as fast as she can. The winged woman's weight barely seems to encumber her, even without the benefit of her gloves, her Beastwoman strength more than enough to handle the woman.

The flames flare up. Beams in the ceiling begin to crumble away. By the time the rest of the party reaches the doorway, most are liable to get singed, perhaps badly. Four of them reach it - Zed first, then Iskandra, Josie and Jay. With a little bit of force, they're able to get the door open - but the fire has swallowed up the rest of the corridor. Nothing could have survived.

The flames eddy after several tense seconds.

With a heavy footfall and a jangle of chain, a tall figure, wreathed by flames, emerges from the inferno. It's Talise. The train of her coat has been burned away, leaving her arms exposed, badly riddled with burns, her face and limbs smudged with soot. But she's nevertheless wrapped her arms tightly around Riesenlied.

The flames haven't done much more than warm the metal woman a little.

With care, Talise steps into the doorframe, then kneels to lower Riese to the ground. She exhales. A puff of smoke escapes between her lips.

"...Thanks, Jos'," she rasps as she takes the coins. "You're a... a peach."

DG: Riesenlied has drawn a new Challenge.
========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>========================
========<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished) *>=========
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Wits      |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 Have you ever wondered how many locks you'd need on a door for it to be       
 TRULY secure? The answer, Akbar thought, was at least one million. The door   
 before you, as a result, has... not one million per se, but certainly at      
 least a hundred different keyholes.                                           
                                                                               
 There's also a big stack of keys next to the door. They have not been cut     
 yet. Truthfully, there's no guarantee the locks in the door work, either!     
                                                                               
 Maybe if you just find the one right keyhole to pick? Or cut some keys? Try   
 every single uncut key to see which fits where? Oh, this is going to take a   
 while...                                                                      
=Dungeon Conditions: Exhaust==================================================
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied trips and tumbles, gasping as she tries to catch air into her lungs and fails; but before long, she's swept up off her feet and carried by a stronger presence-- as she mumbles, "M-Miss Talise??" She winces as she ducks her head down and a glow starts to surround them -- she's not able to stave off the flames entirely, but the light of the Dragon's Tear prevents the absolute worst as she surrounds the two with a shimmering barrier of light as they charge through the inferno.

Once they're on the other side, she frowns gently to say, "You're wounded..." as she looks to Jacqueline and the others, wondering if they could help heal her. She nods to Jacqueline contritely to say, "Maybe she should... this is really not ideal..."

A pause, as she looks to Iskandra and says, "Oh, sorry, my name is Riesenlied..." before she looks towards the large door and... the keyholes riddled upon it.

"...um--" she looks around to say, "I don't think there's any other way out but this door."

She sighs, and begins to concentrate as she gathers her thoughts into the Dragons' Tear again -- the hexagonal-cut gem starts to shimmer with an errant of colours as she does so, ensconced upon the silvered dragon frame-chain hanging at her neck.

"... ...most of these are-- fake," she surmises. "... the ones at the center... have tumblers behind them."

DG: Riesenlied has used her Tool Dragon's Tear toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished).
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Everyone's a little toasty after that, even Jacqueline. Talise seems to have gotten the worst of it, though...but if she hadn't, Riesenlied might've been left behind.

"T-Talise, are you okay? Hold on, I've got some salves for burns on me..." Jacqueline says, reaching into her bag and rummaging a bit before producing a bottle.

"Here...this should help, just apply it to the affected areas..." She says, handing it over before glancing toward Riesenlied.

"Yes..." She agrees with a slight murmur.

Jacqueline does not actively help figure out how to get through the door, at the moment her primary concern is tending to anyone present who might need some treatment for their burns.

DG: Jacqueline Barber has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not
Unfinished).
<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

"--Room's a damn tinderbox--"

The fire spreads quickly. Josie can feel the way Penelope shrinks back against her neck, talons raking into her flesh. Probably drawing blood.

Not that she can blame the bird, all considering...

By the time she bursts free, clearing out into the room beyond, she's more than a little singed. There's an unfortunate burn mark or two, right around the edge of her longcoat in fact. "I try," she replies to Talise, somewhat absently, her attention more focused on gently investigating and then carefully soothing the bird that's managed to cringe almost all the way down the back of her jacket. "Shh... it's safe now," she murmurs, striding on ahead towards the lock-ridden door.

"...Everyone else okay? Jay, can you--" she asks, glancing back over her shoulder. "Oh, already on it. Thanks."

Penelope has begun to rally.

"...Most of them are fake, huh... So, sounds like we just need a key for the ones in the center." The archaeologist stoops, her hand falling away at last from the pigeon as she moves to investigate the locks there.

Penelope takes flight abruptly.

Penelope dives for the stack of keys.

...Penelope starts kicking the keys around.

That's not actually helping, Penelope.

But wait, is that one she just kicked free one of--?!

DG: Josephine Lovelace has used her Tool Penelope toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished).
<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

Zed, by some miracle (Read: Being Zed), manages to survive the corridor of fire without... too much... pain? He laughs as he emerges, and it looks like the tips of his scarf have caught ever so slightly on fire. But then he emerges into...

A... place with a... locked door?

...

Oh no! It's Zed's worst enemy! BORING, REPETETIVE TASKS!

"Uuuuugh," Zed groans, stumbling past Jacqueline and Talise and Riese and...

Beat.

"Wait." Zed's eyes go wide. "Friends! What happened? You all look so... toasty...! Hmn. I don't know if I know how to deal with burnt human. Moist human, leaking human, sure, but burnt...?" He frowns, rubbing his chin, "...Do you take a knife and... scrape off the charred bits...? No, that's bread. Hmn."

Zed... seems to be deep in thought.

DG: Zed has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward his party's challenge, Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished).
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
=========<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished) *>==========
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Wits      |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 Have you ever wondered how many locks you'd need on a door for it to be       
 TRULY secure? The answer, Akbar thought, was at least one million. The door   
 before you, as a result, has... not one million per se, but certainly at      
 least a hundred different keyholes.                                           
                                                                               
 There's also a big stack of keys next to the door. They have not been cut     
 yet. Truthfully, there's no guarantee the locks in the door work, either!     
                                                                               
 Maybe if you just find the one right keyhole to pick? Or cut some keys? Try   
 every single uncut key to see which fits where? Oh, this is going to take a   
 while...                                                                      
=Dungeon Conditions: Exhaust==================================================
<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

There are many ways to approach a challenge like this one, Iskandra decides to stop talking and focus, getting out bottle after bottle and using the heat behind them to heat one of her mixtures, then turning towards the keyholes and pouring some strange foam into each in order. "This'll set quickly, and be flexible enough to pull out when it has. Then we should be able to see what these holes look like on the inside."

DG: Iskandra Grendorre has used her Tool Alchemy Kit toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished).
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
=========<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished) *>==========
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Wits      |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 Have you ever wondered how many locks you'd need on a door for it to be       
 TRULY secure? The answer, Akbar thought, was at least one million. The door   
 before you, as a result, has... not one million per se, but certainly at      
 least a hundred different keyholes.                                           
                                                                               
 There's also a big stack of keys next to the door. They have not been cut     
 yet. Truthfully, there's no guarantee the locks in the door work, either!     
                                                                               
 Maybe if you just find the one right keyhole to pick? Or cut some keys? Try   
 every single uncut key to see which fits where? Oh, this is going to take a   
 while...                                                                      
=Dungeon Conditions: Exhaust==================================================
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

"I'm alright," Talise huffs, casting Riesenlied a pained smile as she shoulders out of the ruins of her coat. She casts it into the fire and leaves it behind.

The woman's magical help was far from lost on her. She watches Riese with quiet eyes and a grateful smile for a moment, then turns to push onward, wincing as her muscles tense and aggravate the burns singing her skin. "Damn," she hisses to herself, before quieting with a click of teeth and steeling herself. The last thing she needs is for people to worry about her. She's supposed to be the strong one, after all.

The room beyond is, blessedly, not on fire.

There is, however, the question of the door of many keyholes. Taking the salve from Jacqueline - "Thanks, Jay" - she begins to apply it to her more serious burns. As she works, Talise watches the others fuss with the door and the incredible number of keys. The salve does its work; the tall woman with the distinctive cheekstripes continues to hang back. Only after a minute or two does she ease her way forward, leaning on the wall to one side of the door and clasping her hands together. Her eyes narrow a bit.

"I think I know what the right key is," she says suddenly. She takes a step forward.

Then she winds up, powers up her magic gauntlets, and puts her entire right fist through the door. She attempts to follow up with the left, clearly intent on wrenching the door out of its frame.

DG: Talise Gianfair has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished).
========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>========================
========<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished) *>=========
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Wits      |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 Have you ever wondered how many locks you'd need on a door for it to be       
 TRULY secure? The answer, Akbar thought, was at least one million. The door   
 before you, as a result, has... not one million per se, but certainly at      
 least a hundred different keyholes.                                           
                                                                               
 There's also a big stack of keys next to the door. They have not been cut     
 yet. Truthfully, there's no guarantee the locks in the door work, either!     
                                                                               
 Maybe if you just find the one right keyhole to pick? Or cut some keys? Try   
 every single uncut key to see which fits where? Oh, this is going to take a   
 while...                                                                      
=Dungeon Conditions: Exhaust==================================================
===================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon - Round 3 *>===================
==========< Results - Akbar's Million Locks Door (Not Unfinished) >===========
Player                               Exhaustion                      Pass/Fail
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Iskandra Grendorre                  0 --(5)--> 5                   Pass
Alchemy Kit                         2   Wits    Effects: Enlighten            
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talise Gianfair                     0 --(6)--> 6                   Pass
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riesenlied                          0 --(6)--> 6                   Pass
Dragon's Tear                       1   Wits    Effects: Cleanse              
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josephine Lovelace                  0 --(5)--> 5                   Pass
Penelope                            3   Wits    Effects: Resilient and Liabili
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacqueline Barber                   0 --(5)--> 5                   Pass
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zed                                 0 --(16)--> 16                 Fail
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
----------------------------------< Party >-----------------------------------
Leader: Iskandra Grendorre          30 --(15)--> 45                Pass
Conditions: Bad Luck(1)|Exhaust(1)
Effects: Cleanse|Enlighten(1)|Resilient(1)
==============================< Dream Chasers >===============================
DG: The party led by Iskandra Grendorre has passed this challenge! The party gained 15 exploration! If anyone needs to use party
management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.
DG: Zed has drawn a new Challenge.
========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>========================
======<* CHALLENGE -  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just Crates) *>=======
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Brute     |Challenge Rating: 1          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 The party enters a warehouse, or what looks a lot like one. A grid-like       
 pattern is painted on the floor, some tiles colored red, some blue. Crates,   
 blue and red, litter the room. The grid pattern on the floor can even be      
 moved around, by lifting the floor tiles off the floor and just dropping      
 them somewhere else. This is the latest block puzzle technology, fully        
 modular floors!!!                                                             
                                                                               
 ... if it worked, that'd be great. Sadly no matter how the party tries to     
 set things up or push crates, the door at the other end of the room won't     
 open on its own. But hey, look, these crates are full of explosives!          
=Dungeon Conditions: Reckless, Treasure=======================================
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Jacqueline gets to work on her specialty -- salves, potions, and everything that soothes your aches! (Buy at CaraKin today. Kono Digger wa goran no sponsor no teikyou de okurishimasu~...)

That Penelope, is she just flying around randomly and kicking keys? Or is she silently judging everyone, like she's figured out the answer long ago and is just too impatient to not give the group a hint?

Iskandra has an alchemical approach! She creates little moulds that, indeed, show what the tumbler positions are like...

... which is further cemented as Talise smashes her fist almost through the door--!!

It's not quite successful, but curiously, it reveals that there's only the one real tumbler that's designed to hold. It matches up with Penelope's chosen key. Success!

"Well done, everyone...!" Riesenlied looks impressed.

...

Meanwhile, Zed contemplates the wisdom and logic of toasted humans. If a toasted human is buttered, do they always side... buttered side down? :thonking:

<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

...

......

No, that's not right. Humans HAVE to land buttered side up. Humans love butter. They love butter and bacon, almost more than they love themselves. They'd have to land buttered side up, or else they'd land on the butter and ruin it! And then... And then they'd never be able to eat it.

"I'VE CRACKED THE CASE--!" Zed yells! And then realizes that... everyone's moved on.

"H-hey, wait, friends! Don't leave me behiiiiiiiind!!!"

A FEW MINUTES LATER

The party finds its way to the BLEEDING EDGE of block puzzles. Red and blue tiles, red and blue crates, movable pressure plates. What kind of mad genius could have devised this? Fortunately, the answer is pretty easy, isn't it? Push red onto red and blue onto blue. Simple!

AEONS PAST

There is a man in a turban. His face is adorned with the most amazing facial hair you have ever seen. "You know what would be an AMAZING idea, Crazy Jabbar?" High Economarch Akbar gently strokes his beard. "Yes... I see it now...!"

"A block puzzle... Where the BLOCKS ARE THE PUZZLE."

RIGHT NOW

"AAAAAAAGH!" Zed, having spent more than five minutes pushing a block on and off a switch, has decided that the best solution to this problem... Is to chuck a box at the door like some kind of angry gorilla.

It explodes on contact.

Zed's eyes swim amidst the afterglow of a catastrophic gunsmoke explosion, he cranes his head to peer at the others. "...I HAVE FOUND THE SOLUTION."

DG: Zed has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward his party's challenge,  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just Crates).
<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

Unfortunately, the door is still in one piece.

But...!

"FRIENDS," Zed yells, "WE NEED MORE EXPLOSIVES."

<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied, by the time Zed's joined up to them, has spent some time pushing blocks to no avail, saying, "I... particularly enjoy block puzzles as a pastime, but I do wonder if there is just not something that is broken here? This switch is not reacting..."

Zed hucks the block at the door, prompting a wince from her.

"... i--it's so unsporting... but..."

She sits down, holding her stomach with a wince as she finds herself having to take a break. "Miss Jacqueline, did you have that potion you mentioned?" The wound is starting to nag at her again.

DG: Riesenlied has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward her party's challenge,  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just Crates).
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

"Who keeps making these doors double-layered," Talise grumbles as she pokes at the back panel of the door.

The puzzle beyond seems right up Talise's alley. As the salve continues to work its magic on her, she hoists a block and moves it to one tile. She hoists a block and moves it to the next one.

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

"This is stupid," Talise says, standing with a blue block balanced in one hand and a red block in the other. She's holding them balanced neatly, seemingly with no effort whatsoever. With a disgusted grimace, she looks over her shoulder, then tosses the blocks against the far wall with a snort. They smash under the sheer force of the impact.

Bombs fall out. Blinking, Talise rests her hands at her hips. "...I think you guys just got a bunch right there," she reveals as she starts towards the door. Remembering that she probably won't be able to just tear it down like she tried with the other one, she cracks her knuckles and winds up -

Before looking over to Riesenlied with a faint smile. "Riese," she says, "it's okay to get creative when the game tries to screw you over. Sometimes you've just got to kick reason to the curb and do the right thing."

With that, Talise plows one supercharged fist into the doorframe, then one into the door. She pounds on it with unreal strength, sufficient to crater the door and create large dents and fractures. "Bombs in there, please," she huffs.

DG: Talise Gianfair has used her Tool Ogre Power Gauntlets toward her party's challenge,  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just
Crates).
<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

"I'm not here for the challenge, I'm here to see if there's anything valuable to sell." Iskandra answers Riesenlied with a faint shrug, then gets out a clay jar, pulls on a string to take out some kind of cloth, and then very gingerly shakes it, before flinging it at the door they need to get through. It's quite the explosive, it doesn't even need to be lit. "I think this puzzle is busted anyway."

DG: Iskandra Grendorre has used her Tool Bomb toward her party's challenge,  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just Crates).
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

With knowledge, intuition, and more than a little bit of punching, they all manage to figure out a way through the locked door. And beyond it...block-pushing? Unfortunately, the puzzle didn't actually seem to work.

Fortunately, between Zed and Talise, they had more than enough brute-force to open up the possibility of alternative solutions to the problem at hand. This isn't really Jacqueline's strong suit so she elects to sit this one out as well, in favor of tending to Riesenlied.

"I do. Hold on a second..." Jacqueline replies, taking a seat next to her and handing over a potion. "Here you go."

She then turns her attention to the situation at hand.

"I sometimes wonder how the various traps and puzzles we run into on expeditions manage to stay functional, even though they've been active for so long...I guess not all of the manage to endure the ages." She comments.

She doesn't consider the possibility that they were just always junk.

DG: Jacqueline Barber has contributed a Brute Basic Action toward her party's challenge,  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just
Crates).
<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

Talise moves to punch a hole in the door, which is about when Josie gets the heck out of the way.

Penelope doesn't get to kick around keys for long. Josie's quick to scoop up the wayward bird, who squirms. "Hey now, just because you're feeling bad doesn't mean you get to take it out on..." she starts to scold.

Before the key the bird had very pointedly kicked turns out to be the perfect fit.

"Huh." Even Josie has to regard the situation with a touch of befuddlement. "Guess she's not so bird-brained after all."

And on cue, grins at her own stupid pun before shaking her head and moving on.

"One of those. I've seen things like this in a lot of ruins. I suppose the ancients liked making it interesting!" Josie observes, urging Penelope up onto her shoulder. "So let's see, probably red to red, blue to blue..."

ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER

The switch fails to click in a satisfying way, once again. Taking a step back, the archaeologist frowns and folds her arms over her chest. "Well, mixing up the colors isn't working either. Let's see... Huh. Guess it's broken?"

And then Zed throws a crate. There's an explosion.

"...Guess it's time for some out-of-the-box thinking, huh. Or maybe out-of-the-crate?" Dropping her pack, she extracts her mattock from its depths before approaching one of the crates. "Anyway, Jay, I think--"

She takes up a batter's stance.

"--Some things were just built better! Now, out of my way!"

And swings, hopefully hard enough to send the crate flying.

DG: Josephine Lovelace has used her Tool Well-Used Mattock toward her party's challenge,  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just
Crates).
========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>========================
======<* CHALLENGE -  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just Crates) *>=======
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Brute     |Challenge Rating: 1          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 The party enters a warehouse, or what looks a lot like one. A grid-like       
 pattern is painted on the floor, some tiles colored red, some blue. Crates,   
 blue and red, litter the room. The grid pattern on the floor can even be      
 moved around, by lifting the floor tiles off the floor and just dropping      
 them somewhere else. This is the latest block puzzle technology, fully        
 modular floors!!!                                                             
                                                                               
 ... if it worked, that'd be great. Sadly no matter how the party tries to     
 set things up or push crates, the door at the other end of the room won't     
 open on its own. But hey, look, these crates are full of explosives!          
=Dungeon Conditions: Reckless, Treasure=======================================
===================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon - Round 4 *>===================
========< Results -  Akbar's Modular Block Puzzle (Not Just Crates) >=========
Player                               Exhaustion                      Pass/Fail
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Iskandra Grendorre                  5 --(0)--> 5                   Pass
Bomb                                3   Brute   Effects: Fanfare              
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talise Gianfair                     6 --(0)--> 6                   Pass
Ogre Power Gauntlets                2   Brute   Effects: Strengthen           
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riesenlied                          6 --(0)--> 6                   Fail
Force                               0   Brute   Effects: BASIC                
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josephine Lovelace                  5 --(0)--> 5                   Pass
Well-Used Mattock                   2   Brute   Effects: Strengthen           
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacqueline Barber                   5 --(0)--> 5                   Fail
Force                               0   Brute   Effects: BASIC                
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zed                                 16 --(0)--> 16                 Pass
Force                               0   Brute   Effects: BASIC                
----------------------------------< Party >-----------------------------------
Leader: Iskandra Grendorre          45 --(25)--> 70                Pass
Conditions: Reckless(2)|Treasure(1)
Effects: Strengthen(1)
==============================< Dream Chasers >===============================
DG: The party led by Iskandra Grendorre has passed this challenge! The party gained 25 exploration! If anyone needs to use party
management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.
DG: Josephine Lovelace has drawn a new Challenge.
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
==============<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends) *>==============
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Wits      |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 Who builds a giant maze inside a warehouse? Clearly, Akbar did. Perhaps the   
 maze guards his most valuable wares, or perhaps it was an attraction he       
 charged tourists to try out. Either way, the door shuts behind you. What's    
 more, the walls extend to the ceiling, preventing the use of grappling hooks  
 and wings to cheat.                                                           
                                                                               
 How long will it take the party to realize this maze has no exit, and that    
 they need to come up with their own exit strategy?                            
=Dungeon Conditions: Exhaust, Tire============================================
<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

Riese starts bleeding. Jacqueline goes to help her. They're sitting out, it's fine. That's cool. You can be total noodle-arms, that's totally acceptable.

Everyone else...

GETS THE JOB DONE.

"Ahahahahaha!" Zed laughs, catching Josephine's home run crate WITH HIS FIST. It shatters into so many splinters and so many bombs. He gathers them all up, seizes Iskandra's explosive, and shoves EVERYTHING into the hole Talise carved into the door. "STAND BACK FRIENDS!"

Zed winds up.

His sword ignites!

HE SLAPS THE EXPLOSIVES WITH HIS SWORD.

EVERYTHING. GOES. BOOM.

...And when it's all done, and nothing is left but the smoke and embers, Zed stands with half his body straight up blasted black, and before him, beyond the broken door...!

T-SHIRTS.

They come in many different colors, but each one is emblazoned with an attractive, cartoon red parrot with blue plumes and bright green beak and talons, clutching a bomb. It reads: I BEAT THIS BLOCK PUZZLE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT.

The parrot is winking.

It has a turban. And amazing facial hair.

"..." Zed holds up a shirt, examines it, and nods.

"I'LL TAKE TWELVE."

<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

There are, simply put, explosions. The door never stood a chance.

Shaking out her right hand and wincing, Josie squints at the smoking Zed, then past him to the broken door. The prize beyond which is soon revealed--

"Oh, shirts! That's interesting. Hmm, I wonder how much they're worth..." Maybe if she sells them as the clothing of the ancient folk... or something like that. It's not a lie.

In the meantime, Josie grabs her pack and steps over the wreckage of the door. "Hey, there's another door back here!"

She heads on in.

It will in fact take up until the point past where everyone comes along with her before the door behind them -- perhaps some clever counterweights, perhaps a hidden Symbol, perhaps just more mysteries of the past -- slams shut with a heavy boom. Even at a glance, it's not budging.

The walls here are tight, rising straight up a long distance towards the ceiling. Ahead, the path down the hallway leads on... with exits to the left and -- further along -- the right.

It will take some treking before the true nature of this room of the storehouse rears its sinister head. This isn't just a series of hallways, is it--?!

No. The way the hallways go this way, then another way... these dead ends...

They've walked right into a labyrinth.

Josie tilts her head to one side, having found herself in another dead end. "I'm starting to think that this Akbar was an asshole," she comments with a sigh. At which point she gestures, broadly. "Hey, Penelope! Take us home, okay~?"

Penelope hesitates. And then takes off, wheeling through the maze.

"...Though I never did teach her homing," Josie adds, a moment later, before taking off after the bird.

DG: Josephine Lovelace has used her Tool Penelope toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends).
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

With some concern, Talise draws to a halt, turning away from the explosion and looking back towards Riese. "...You alright, Riese?" she asks with a blink.

Then everything explodes. Talise snaps a hand through the air and grabs ahold of a ridiculous T-shirt. She holds it out and inspects it with narrowed eyes.

"People sure had weird ideas back in however many zillion years ago Filgaia time," she mutters. "Blue Star, you're nuts."

Trotting after Josephine, she reaches over her shoulder and pulls out her shotgun, holding it at about waist level as she begins to move through the labyrinth. She eases around the first corner, anticipating an ambush.

None comes. As Penelope flutters away, Talise follows, but she does pause to look after Josephine, blinking twice. "...That fills me with a lot of confidence," she says with a raise of her eyebrows. "But it beats trying to scale the walls." She jerks her thumb towards the pesky ceiling, then keeps on moving.

TEN MINUTES LATER...

"So I'm starting to think this thing has no exit," Talise says as the group rounds yet another corner.

The tall woman sighs and slouches her shoulders, scowling at one of the walls. Then she winds up and gives it a swift kick.

It begins to topple away from her. Talise blinks.

DG: Talise Gianfair has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends).
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

There is a mild look of interest from Riesenlied as she looks towards the shirts, but her look falls. "I don't want the children to call each other stupid..." Alas.

They enter an enormous maze, one that prevents her from simply looking at it from above. "Allow me to..."

She concentrates further, and a swirl of photons emanates around them, a vision coalescing in their minds...

Yes, Riese turned the automapper on.

DG: Riesenlied has used her Tool Dragon's Tear toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends).
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

"Ow," Talise winces despite it not actually hurting when Riesenlied turns on the photons. She shakes her head a little and blinks rapidly.

"Riese, that's wild as hell when you do that," she opines. "I don't know how you do it, but it's wild."

<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

Shirts are ignored entirely, the hellion does not see the value in them. Iskandra's number one solution to mazes. Mark everywhere you've been with bit of paint and an arrow to mark which way you were moving at the time. It's not perfect, but it generally works. "I agree." She asides to Talise when this leads her to conclude, eventually, that this maze has no exit, so she tries to use the same markings to identify the edges, identify the opposite side where they started, and then applies explosives.

DG: Iskandra Grendorre has used her Tool Alchemy Kit toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends).
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied looks contrite as she says, "I am sorry. I will try to warn everyone better... ah, but-- I will be all right. Jay's potions should be helping sustain me."

<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

Zed has acquired: TWELVE SHIRTS! TODAY IS A GOOD DAY.

Oh.

Wait, this is a maze.

TEN MINUTES LATER

"BORED NOW," Zed says, whipping out his amazing, wall-cleaving sword. "Come on, friends! Let's BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!"

How does a Metal Demon blow a popsicle stand?

By running up along the wall Talise just kicked down, leaping from the top edge, and VIGOROUSLY SMASHING HIS SWORD INTO THE NEXT ONE OVER. "Talise!" Zed yells, "LEAPFROG."

Yes.

This, evidently, is the most efficient way to get out of this thing.

DG: Zed has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward his party's challenge, Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends).
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Somehow, someway, explosions always found a way to be relevant. Jacqueline has a feeling she would get a lot more business if she stocked some, but...there's just not any real elegance to an explosive! Or, at least, that's what she thinks.

Still, it works, she can't deny that, and beyond the door is...T-Shirts, and a maze.

Jacqueline...has no real interest in the former, but the latter...

Well, they spend some time on it, but...

"...You know, I think you're right." Jacqueline agrees with a nod and a frown toward Talise. She could blame age before...but honestly, right now she can pretty much say this was probably do to shoddy design. And with Riese's photonic map-making skills...

"...Yes, I...I think the only solution here is to make our own exit." She admits, reluctantly - with Iskandra already making arrangements toward that end - then glances toward Riese.

"I sure hope so. Hopefully we won't have to carry you all the way back to Wayside..."

DG: Jacqueline Barber has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends).
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
==============<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends) *>==============
|Type: Exploration |Dungeon Ability: Wits      |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 Who builds a giant maze inside a warehouse? Clearly, Akbar did. Perhaps the   
 maze guards his most valuable wares, or perhaps it was an attraction he       
 charged tourists to try out. Either way, the door shuts behind you. What's    
 more, the walls extend to the ceiling, preventing the use of grappling hooks  
 and wings to cheat.                                                           
                                                                               
 How long will it take the party to realize this maze has no exit, and that    
 they need to come up with their own exit strategy?                            
=Dungeon Conditions: Exhaust, Tire============================================
====================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon - Round 5 *>====================
================< Results - Akbar's Great Maze (Not Dead Ends) >================
Player                               Exhaustion                      Pass/Fail
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Iskandra Grendorre                  5 --(4)--> 9                   Pass
Alchemy Kit                         2   Wits    Effects: Enlighten            
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talise Gianfair                     6 --(4)--> 10                  Pass
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riesenlied                          6 --(5)--> 11                  Pass
Dragon's Tear                       1   Wits    Effects: Cleanse              
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josephine Lovelace                  5 --(5)--> 10                  Pass
Penelope                            3   Wits    Effects: Resilient and Liabili
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacqueline Barber                   5 --(6)--> 11                  Pass
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zed                                 16 --(17)--> 33                Fail
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
-----------------------------------< Party >------------------------------------
Leader: Iskandra Grendorre          70 --(15)--> 85                Pass
Conditions: Exhaust(1)|Reckless(1)|Tire(2)
Effects: Cleanse|Enlighten(1)|Resilient(1)
===============================< Dream Chasers >================================
DG: The party led by Iskandra Grendorre has passed this challenge! The party gained 15 exploration! If anyone needs to use party
management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.
<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

"Oh, wow. Is that a map?"

Having a sense of where they've been already is arguably a good idea when traveling through a labyrinth. And since no one's been drawing a map -- Iskandra's helpful marks on the wall to indicate where they've been aside -- probably essential at this point.

Pigeons, as some researchers have found, are quite good at navigation. Josie has to book it to keep up with the bird who wheels lazily overhead. ...Who probably also has had her keen sense of direction (even without homing training) improved drastically by the map -- or whatever such a picture would look like to parse appropriately to a bird that effectively navigates by the magnetic field of the planet -- that manifests in her mind.

Of course, the direct option is always on the table.

As Talise finds, the walls are not... sturdy.

Like, at all. We're talking 'drywall' here.

Penelope wheels back towards one of the walls Iskandra marked. "Penelope, don't go that way, we went that-- oh, the wall's down."

SHORTCUT: ACHIEVED

Iskandra will find a likely-looking place to plant her bombs just beyond.

ULTRA SHORTCUT: ACHIEVED

Zed, meanwhile...

Zed manages to find the one wall that doesn't give.

...Maybe knocking the walls down was the expectation all along?

"You know," Josie comments to Jay, "This is probably the shoddiest ruin I've ever been in."

DG: Jacqueline Barber has drawn a new Challenge.
========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>========================
======<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A Mannequin) *>=======
|Type: Climax      |Dungeon Ability: Wits      |Challenge Rating: 3          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 You have finally reached the office of Akbar the Great. To schedule an        
 appointment, please consult the receptionist and discuss which payment plan   
 and appointment duration best suits your needs. If you select the correct     
 payment plan and the stars are aligned just right, you may win a WONDERFUL    
 PRIZE!!!                                                                      
                                                                               
 Conditions may apply.                                                         
                                                                               
 Sadly, it seems that the receptionist is just a mannequin dressed like a      
 receptionist. She's holding onto some kind of barely functional datapad with  
 an empty scheduler on display. Maybe if you mess with it you can figure it    
 out? Or you could take the datapad. Who doesn't want a free tablet these      
 days? It doesn't do much beyond schedule appointments though.                 
=Dungeon Conditions: Stupify==================================================
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

"...Yes, I...I'm afraid I have to agree..." Jacqueline murmurs in response to Josie. They've ended up smashing their way into a...some kind of office-room? The carpet is still kind of plush, somehow, and perhaps maybe a little too much so, but there's some kind of hideous pattern going on that's nauseating to look at for too long, and the walls are similarly designed.

Even Jacqueline thinks they're too much, which should really say something.

She walks up to the front desk, where a mannequin that has seen better days can be seen sitting behind it. She has something in her hand, so Jacqueline reaches over to take it...

She also adjusts her wig so that it's sitting properly on top of her head rather than hanging off of the side.

"Huh...this is an interesting little device...Shalune might be interested in taking a look..." Jacqueline murmurs to herself. She presses a few buttons on the datapad, but...

Well, turns out the interface was pretty horrible. You have to press the buttons just right and for just the right amount of time or they don't work at all, and they make an awful noise when you do press them right, too...

"Anyone else want to take a shot?" Jacqueline offers.

DG: Jacqueline Barber has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A
Mannequin).
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

"...Yes, I...I'm afraid I have to agree..." Jacqueline murmurs in response to Josie. They've ended up smashing their way into a...some kind of office-room? The carpet is still kind of plush, somehow, and perhaps maybe a little too much so, but there's some kind of hideous pattern going on that's nauseating to look at for too long, and the walls are similarly designed.

Even Jacqueline thinks they're too much, which should really say something.

She walks up to the front desk, where a mannequin that has seen better days can be seen sitting behind it. She has something in her hand, so Jacqueline reaches over to take it...

She also adjusts the mannequin's wig so that it's sitting properly on top of her head rather than hanging off of the side.

"Huh...this is an interesting little device...Shalune might be interested in taking a look..." Jacqueline murmurs to herself. She presses a few buttons on the datapad, but...

Well, turns out the interface was pretty horrible. You have to press the buttons just right and for just the right amount of time or they don't work at all, and they make an awful noise when you do press them right, too...

"Anyone else want to take a shot?" Jacqueline offers.

<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

What? A WALL THAT CANNOT BREAK!?

IMPOSSIBLE.

Zed just gets tired of smashing it, is all. In his infinite mercy, he decides to leave it alone and follow the others once they find their way forward, into...

An... OFFICE.

"Huh," Zed says, squinting at the patterns on the wall. "This is interesting. Who could have worked..." Patterns. Pretty, repeating, mind-numbing patterns... "...Here?"

Zed is staring at the wall.

He's searching for some deep, inner meaning hidden in the wallpaper.

He's... probably not going to be of much help.

DG: Zed has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward his party's challenge, Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A Mannequin).
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

"Honestly, it's like they have no building code on the Blue Star at all," Talise huffs as she sets her hands at her hips, scowling. "Or they just hired a really lousy contractor to do the structural work. Who knows. Filgaia, you're weird."

Tailing Jacqueline into the room beyond, Talise frowns at the sight of the mannequin. She crosses her arms over her chest and makes a face.

"This is the worst ruin ever," she grouses before leaning forward, giving the mannequin a little prod with one fingertip. Then she squints at the interface. "Bizarre," she mutters as she rests a hand on the desktop. "I don't know... I've gotten used to Filgaian tech a bit, but this one's a bit out of my league."

DG: Talise Gianfair has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A
Mannequin).
<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

Iskandra takes one look at the datapad and comes to the conclusion that at some point, in the future when there's no pressure to it, she should figure out some things about tech. In the meantime, she takes a seat and goes to think about the overall issues they've faced so far and tries to figure out what may be next, keeping her hands busy by mixing together some kind of potion. "This thing really is rather more unusual than I expected it to be." She flings the potion towards Riese, "Drink this." It's a healing potion of some kind.

DG: Iskandra Grendorre has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A
Mannequin).
<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

And when that's all said and done, Penelope sails around in a half-circle to finally alight on Josie's shoulder once more.

Beyond the maze is, it seems, the main office. Of a sort. Josie looks at the floor. Josie looks at the walls.

"...You know, I think some things might be better left lost," she finally determines, averting her gaze. Following after Jay, she peers at the tablet once it's pulled free from the mannequin's hands.

She also after a moment's consideration and without looking over at the inanimate figure, gives the mannequin receptionist a slight poke.

The tablet's passed to Talise.

"Here, let me give it a shot..." She wiggles her fingers, suggesting Talise hand it around.

Horrible noises ensue once she has it in her hands.

Horrible, terrible noises.

DG: Josephine Lovelace has contributed a Wits Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A
Mannequin).
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

"... I suppose it is too much to think of every Ruin as having good integrity, but ... I--I do agree, there is something... just something about this Ruin that--" Riesenlied pauses with a gentle whispers, "... strangely disappoints me..."

She places her hand to her cheek as she looks towards the datapad and the room for a moment, before-- pausing--

"Mm--"

She holds her forehead for a moment longer as she leans against one wall, breathing shallowly. "I can hear them here... more clearly..."

--y'gotta let me see him, I'm a snake oil salesman! We--

--free deals! Gotta have money to make money, right? Heh heh--

--MATCHSTICKS! The best matchsticks you ever saw, right here in my palm--

"... ooogh ..."

Riesenlied nearly tumbles onto her knees at the powerfully concentrated glut of greed and gluttony echoing through her head, but-- she shakes her head. "... try-- try Saturday. That was always Mister Akbar's favourite day to meet, he was always in a good mood then."

Even the Dragon's Tear is struggling with this, the gem fizzling a little as '$$' signs appear on it. Then it sizzles out for a moment...

DG: Riesenlied has used her Tool Dragon's Tear toward her party's challenge, Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A Mannequin).
========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>========================
======<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A Mannequin) *>=======
|Type: Climax      |Dungeon Ability: Wits      |Challenge Rating: 3          | 
--------------------------< Challenge Information: >--------------------------
 You have finally reached the office of Akbar the Great. To schedule an        
 appointment, please consult the receptionist and discuss which payment plan   
 and appointment duration best suits your needs. If you select the correct     
 payment plan and the stars are aligned just right, you may win a WONDERFUL    
 PRIZE!!!                                                                      
                                                                               
 Conditions may apply.                                                         
                                                                               
 Sadly, it seems that the receptionist is just a mannequin dressed like a      
 receptionist. She's holding onto some kind of barely functional datapad with  
 an empty scheduler on display. Maybe if you mess with it you can figure it    
 out? Or you could take the datapad. Who doesn't want a free tablet these      
 days? It doesn't do much beyond schedule appointments though.                 
=Dungeon Conditions: Stupify==================================================
===================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon - Round 6 *>===================
========< Results - Akbar's Appointment Secretary (Not A Mannequin) >=========
Player                               Exhaustion                      Pass/Fail
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Iskandra Grendorre                  9 --(0)--> 9                   Pass
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talise Gianfair                     10 --(0)--> 10                 Fail
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riesenlied                          11 --(0)--> 11                 Pass
Dragon's Tear                       1   Wits    Effects: Cleanse              
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josephine Lovelace                  10 --(0)--> 10                 Fail
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacqueline Barber                   11 --(0)--> 11                 Fail
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zed                                 33 --(0)--> 33                 Fail
Investigate                         0   Wits    Effects: BASIC                
----------------------------------< Party >-----------------------------------
Leader: Iskandra Grendorre          85 --(5)--> 90                 Fail
Conditions: Stupify(2)
Effects: Cleanse
==============================< Dream Chasers >===============================
DG: The party led by Iskandra Grendorre has failed this challenge! The party gained 5 exploration! If anyone needs to use party
management commands, do so now. Otherwise, the next round's GM may begin the next round with +dungeon/draw.
DG: Iskandra Grendorre has drawn a new Challenge.
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
============<* CHALLENGE - Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost) *>============
|Type: Final       |Dungeon Ability: Combat    |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 You have somehow managed to secure an appointment with the great Akbar. Or    
 his ghost, at the very least. A tall, rowdy man who wears a red jumpsuit,     
 with hair in a red mohawk and a thin frame.                                   
                                                                               
 "Suckers!" he shouts.                                                         
                                                                               
 He brandishes all manners of exotic, expensive-looking weaponry, which by     
 all accounts shouldn't be usable in combat and belongs on a collector's       
 wall, if you can even call that art. On the other hand he's a ghost so he     
 gets to cheat a fair bit.                                                     
=Dungeon Conditions: Wound====================================================
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

"Not all of Filgaia is like this, really! This is just, well..." Jacqueline starts, but...honestly, there's really no words for this place. This place was like a black hole of awfulness.

Take the datapad, for example. By all rights, it shouldn't even be functioning. Talise applies everything she's learned about Filgaian technology, but this thing is made so cheaply it seems to defy all of it. And then Josie gets her hands on it...

One way or another it comes open, but for all intents in purposes it appears to be an empty box with some gears inside that are linked the wrong way. How did it even function!?

Riesenlied offers the suggestion of Saturday, and though it should technically work, the device fizzles, sparks, and explodes in a puff of smoke and plastic shards.

They might need Iskandra's potion just to calm their nerves after all that...

<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

Akbar the great's ghost decides to grace his visitors with his presence despite scheduling failures. It turns out, his schedule has a lot of openings these days, but that doesn't make him any more pleasant. "Suckers! You've come for my great sales, but alas you won't live to tell any tales." Iskandra socks him the face, and he's thrown backwards and lands on the ground, where he huffs and looks around. "I may be wrong, I cannot fight six people." Suddenly he swells with power and an entire array of exotic, expensive looking weaponry comes forth and he charges in. "HA! Did you really believe me?"

"Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like customes, and salespeople, and customers who look like salespeople. For Akbar the Great... IT IS SALES TIME" Immediately, he flings more of his weapons, and by this point it becomes obvious each and every single one of them has a massive price tag, and a clear disclaimer 'you bleed on it, you bought it'

DG: Iskandra Grendorre has contributed a Combat Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost).
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

There's a soft yelp from Riesenlied as she accepts Iskandra's potion, peering at it and nodding gently. "Thank you, Miss Iskandra," as she uncorks it gently and sniffs from it, sipping gently. She might be mixing her potion doses up a little bit, at this point, but she's technically a patient walking at this point in time. She needs the assistance.

But then, they enter the Great Akbar's office...

And he makes his outlandish proclamations! "A-are you the one who drew me here?" Riesenlied sounds genuinely surprised, but conversation is cut rather short when the ghostly merchant starts flinging weapons around. There's a yelp of equal surprise as she gets pinned to the wall by her capelet, a jewelled rapier and a dagger sticking her in place.

"C-come forth, my Pinions!"

An emanation of energy softly shimmers from her form, and a little, painful noise erupts from the small of her back -- and several featherlight blades of radiance dance about the room, aloft on a translucent bed of photons. They move about in a defensive formation, parrying and blocking weapons seeking to target her companions.

DG: Riesenlied has used her Tool Dragon's Claw toward her party's challenge, Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost).
<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

Talise starts as the ghost appears. Then she starts again as Iskandra makes a move.

"Did you just punch a ghost in the face?" she asks with a rapid blink.

Weapons hurtle towards the group. Talise has little more time to snark. She hurtles over a weapon--

ACME Deluxe Ultra Shurikenchuks

"How does that even work!" Talise yells as she leaps over the absurd weapon and hits the ground, rolling away. Her shotgun comes to bear as she trains it on the ghost, laying down a halo of covering fire as she begins to inch closer. Another weapon opens fire -

ACME Infrared Super Seeker Flambergerang

"How does that even work!" Talise shouts as she blasts out her last round, trying to sneak her shot through the hail of Riesenlied's pinions. Once she's exhausted the clip, she draws her sword and swats away a hurtling blast from something -

ACME Boxem Boxem Boxing Glove Kunai

"How does that even work," Talise shrieks before lunging at Akbar's ghost and swinging Rastaban with a hiss of steel. She sweeps forward, clenching her teeth, then raises her voice to a loud roar as she attempts to plough through the phantasm and his array of ludicrous armaments with a single rising slash.

DG: Talise Gianfair has used her Tool Trench Sweeper Shotgun toward her party's challenge, Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost).
<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Jacqueline frowns. Here he was. The person responsible for this...this...entire debacle. Something in Jacqueline awakens, and she points at him.

"You! You disgrace the name of merchants everywhere! Your merchandise is awful and your prices are ridiculous! In the name of honorable merchants everywhere...it falls to me to punish you! But first...here's a free sample!" With this Jacqueline rummages through her bags, drawing out a bottle of foul-smelling black liquid. She hurls it at the ghost of the salesman...

...And it flies right through him.

He was a ghost, after all.

It does however, continue onward and splashes onto some of his equipment, thereby tarnishing them and ultimately reducing their value.

She could not hurt him physically, but she could hit him where it hurt most...

His pocketbook.

DG: Jacqueline Barber has used her Tool Reliable Repellant toward her party's challenge, Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost).
<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

Zed is transfixed by the meandering patterns on the wall.

The pretty, beautiful, spiralling pa--

Wait.

What was that?

What was THAT?

Zed's head whips left, it whips right. He... lifts his nose into the air. That smell. That can only be...

"A fight!?" Spheres full of multicolored smoke explode throughout the room. It smells... LIKE JUSTICE. "AND NOBODY CALLED ME!? HOW RUDE!!"

"But the rudest person here--" A burning, shining blade streaks through the clouds. Doom Bringer, alight with the POWER OF THE SOUL strikes at an oblique angle, driving hard at the ghost's incorporeal form. "IS YOUUUUU."

"I HAVEN'T SEEN A SINGLE SCARF HERE AT ALL," Zed declares, "AND ALL YOUR TRAPS ARE KIND OF CRAP. I WANT A REFUND!"

(Zed hasn't even bought anything yet)

(He doesn't seem to care)

DG: Zed has used his Tool Smoke Bombs toward his party's challenge, Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost).
<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

Oh, if Josie has her way with the datapad, it's most definitely coming open.

"...I don't know how this is supposed to work," she utters with a blink, upon glimpsing the guts of the device. It's gears. It's full of gears. And they're... it really shouldn't even be possible for two gears connected to spin that way.

Before she can stare down this logic-breaking monstrosity any further, it suddently explodes in her hands, sending little shards everywhere. Or perhaps correction: it explodes, she tosses it in the air, and then it sends little cheap plastic shrapnel everywhere.

Something in the air feels quite strange. As if there were a sudden chill...

And shortly thereafter -- the thing that haunts this place making his appearance and probably explaining a little bit about the metaphysics of the warehouse -- Iskandra punches a ghost.

It's at this point that Josie takes a step backwards. Perhaps sensing the sea change, Penelope once again makes a dive for the back of the archaeologist's collar.

Electrical charge surges down Josie's left arm.

"You know, you're not the first ghost I've run into in a ruin," she comments, a few short gestures serving to focus and further empower the Symbological spell she works. "People have a real rough time with dying sometimes, I guess. Didn't anyone ever tell you to do into the light?"

Her hand crackles with magical power.

"Well, this will just have to do! Eat this!"

And she hurls, as if it were a javelin, an arc of lightning at whatever remains of Akbar the Great's presence in this world.

DG: Josephine Lovelace has contributed a Combat Basic Action toward her party's challenge, Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost).
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
============<* CHALLENGE - Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost) *>============
|Type: Final       |Dungeon Ability: Combat    |Challenge Rating: 2          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 You have somehow managed to secure an appointment with the great Akbar. Or    
 his ghost, at the very least. A tall, rowdy man who wears a red jumpsuit,     
 with hair in a red mohawk and a thin frame.                                   
                                                                               
 "Suckers!" he shouts.                                                         
                                                                               
 He brandishes all manners of exotic, expensive-looking weaponry, which by     
 all accounts shouldn't be usable in combat and belongs on a collector's       
 wall, if you can even call that art. On the other hand he's a ghost so he     
 gets to cheat a fair bit.                                                     
=Dungeon Conditions: Wound====================================================
====================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon - Round 7 *>====================
==============< Results - Akbar The Great (Not A Vengeful Ghost) >==============
Player                               Exhaustion                      Pass/Fail
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Iskandra Grendorre                  9 --(4)--> 13                  Fail
Fight                               0   Combat  Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talise Gianfair                     10 --(4)--> 14                 Pass
Trench Sweeper Shotgun              1   Combat  Effects: Embolden and Fanfare 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riesenlied                          11 --(3)--> 14                 Pass
Dragon's Claw                       1   Combat  Effects: Cleanse              
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josephine Lovelace                  10 --(6)--> 16                 Fail
Fight                               0   Combat  Effects: BASIC                
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacqueline Barber                   11 --(5)--> 16                 Pass
Reliable Repellant                  2   Combat  Effects: Embolden             
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zed                                 33 --(3)--> 36                 Pass
Smoke Bombs                         1   Combat  Effects: Embolden and Fanfare 
-----------------------------------< Party >------------------------------------
Leader: Iskandra Grendorre          90 --(30)--> 120               Pass
Conditions: Wound(2)
Effects: Cleanse|Embolden(1)
===============================< Dream Chasers >================================
DG: You have overcome the dungeon's trials! This run is a success!
DG: The party led by Iskandra Grendorre has successfully explored Akbar's Discount Dungeon!
=========================<* Akbar's Discount Dungeon *>=========================
=====<* CHALLENGE - Akbar's Guide to Success and Fame (Not Blank Books) *>======
|Type: Discovery   |Dungeon Ability: Conclusion|Challenge Rating: 1          | 
---------------------------< Challenge Information: >---------------------------
 You have triumphed over Akbar and found his secret stash of unsold products.  
                                                                               
 This stash contains several copies of Akbar's bestseller book. It begins      
 with extremely interesting quotes and passages cited from other books and     
 prestigious figures of Filgaian history, but after about ten pages of this,   
 the rest of the book is blank, in a sort of self help book fill it yourself   
 kind of way.                                                                  
                                                                               
 Maybe the key to success and fame is to figure it out on your own.            
=Dungeon Conditions: Treasure=================================================
<Pose Tracker> Iskandra Grendorre has posed.

Thanks to Riesenlied protecting everyone, the great Akbar's weapons fail to find much purchase, while Jay destroys some of the merchandise, without bleeding upon it, causing a great and pained outcry; thus creating an opportunity for Talise to get in her rising slash and destroying even more of those weapons that are being aggressively sold. The doom bringer finishes the job, and the ghost vanishes right when Josephine's lightning strikes. Whether he's gone for good or just vanished to fight another time, none can say.

Then there's several copies of Akbar's bestseller book left behind, interesting stories and quotes for ten page, and then blank pages for the reader to fill in himself. An inspirational product that was no doubt also cheap to produce. Iskandra sighs when she looks at them, but takes a few just in case. "Well that was something."

<Pose Tracker> Josephine Lovelace has posed.

The evil has been vanquished.

(FOR NOW?!)

Shaking out her left hand, Josie strides towards the stack of books, their prize for having pushed this far into the depths of the emporium's ruins. She picks one up.

Flips through it.

Flips forward a few pages more.

...Flips to the end.

And frowns.

"Maybe someone would be interested in vintage paper."

It's the most optimistic statement she can manage right now, her shoulders slouching under the weight of disappointment nonetheless.

<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

"Did we just stab a ghost," Talise asks with a blink as Akbar's phantasm vanishes.

The heap of books is an interesting reward indeed. Talise prowls forward to pick one up. Flipping through the first few pages, she flops down in a convenient chair, crossing one leg over the other as she skims the text.

Then she hits page 10. "...There's nothing here," she murmurs, leafing through the next few pages.

Nothing waits for her. Tapping a finger against her lips, Talise lowers her eyelids a shade.

Then she reaches into the pouch hanging from her belt. She comes up with a stub of a pencil, the one she normally uses for her note-taking when she's doing something archaeological. She flips to the 11th page and begins to scribble down text.

LIST OF SYNONYMS FOR THE WORD BUTT

tuckus hinders rear

rump bottom booty

bwotham boo-tah haunches

K.K. bum backside

boat take

<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied lets out a relieved sigh as the ghost dissipates, and the painful echoes that had been hounding her started to subside. "... and to think I was hearing the wrath and voices of a merchant ghost long gone by..." she mumbles quietly. A pause. She can hear ghosts...? Is that--

Mmm. It's something to consider.

She's about to slide down the wall, before she realises--

--after trying to pull them out by the hilt--

--"Can-- can someone free me, please? These weapons are stuck..."

Riesenlied: A bit of a tuckus.

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Well, the situation is dealt with and Jacqueline feels...a little better. She's defended her title and occupation, after all, from those who were less trustworthy. And in the end, they found a stash of books! Everyone who's been around Jacqueline for long enough knows she loves books.

Jacqueline walks over to the stack, picks one up, and flips through the pages.

She's quiet for a moment.

And then, she hurls the book against one of the walls.

"Akbar...!" Jacqueline hisses, feeling like the salesman in red had still gotten the last laugh somehow.

<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

Noeline isn't here to comment on Riese's tuckus. For better or for worse.

"Hmn," Zed frowns, staring at the flier. "...I... think we should sue this man for false advertising!"

Well. First thing's first. "Riese!" Zed shuffles over, "...You appear to be stuck."

"Here, while I help you, why don't you tell me WHY YOU ARE HEARING GHOSTS. Did you learn how to resonate!?"

<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

"Yeah, I know," Talise sighs as she looks up to Jacqueline. "He's a real cucco's tuckus."

Speaking of which, she turns her gaze towards Riesenlied.

"You got her, Zed?" she calls.

<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

"Yap!" Zed says back. "Also please do not mention Cucco butts, I am still mildly traumatized after that time!"

"With the poop!"

<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied is freed from her fate to be propped on the wall! Only Noeline should rightfully get to do that. She's about to speak when--

Jacqueline throws the book and hisses her revenge.

Jay is scary....

"Oh... um--" Riesenlied hesitates, before saying, "Yes, actually, I had become Resonant a while back... perhaps too much?" It's the only real way she can put it.

A pause, as she claps her hands together. "Oh, but cuccos are nice! I had a really fond time when all of those cuccos came to town..."

She's basically sparkling with happiness.

<Pose Tracker> Zed has posed.

Zed pauses.

"Riese you were literally assimilating them into a strange cucco-hive organism."

Beat.

"Riese I do not think this is healthy for either a demon or a human."

<Pose Tracker> Jacqueline Barber has posed.

Riesenlied mentions the times when cuccos invaded Adlehyde. Jacqueline frowns slightly, and sends Talise a meaningful glance.

Doubtlessly they both remembered that particular...

...incident...


<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.

Riesenlied, on the other hand, pointedly does not, given that she was in the midst of the almost-literal storm. "Eeeh? But we were having a really fun party in our nest..." The sparkles just seem to be growing outwards with each recollection of the dread memory...

<Pose Tracker> Talise Gianfair has posed.

Talise rises from her seat, adjusting the hem of her tunic. "Yes, I was there, Riese," she says.

"And I told you not to hug the cuccos," she says, clasping her hands together. "Acting all cool and shit. But you surprised me." She shakes her head.

"Someone once said that a mere cucco could not have resolve. That they could not possess a proud soul. But a Cuccoon is a cucco's soul's manifestation. The cuccos' souls moved to you on their own. They couldn't choose not to...!"