2018-05-10: A Hopeful Debate

• Log: A Hopeful Debate
• Cast: Xantia, Id
• Where: Plains of the Goddess
• Date: May 10th, 2018
• Summary: Xantia and Id meet again on Lunar, both not quite like their usual selves. For once, no blows are exchanged, only words. Id denounces hope, while at the same time providing it. Xantia may have activated Hard Mode.

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=========================<* Plains of the Goddess *>==========================

The Plains of the Goddess consist of an enormous prairie that occupies the heart of the Meribus continent. It is the breadbasket of the world of Lunar; Althena's blessing lives strong in the soil, and the crops grown here are healthy, hearty, and free of disease. As a result of this bounty, the vast majority of the Plains are uncultivated; farmers have little reason to expand into the untamed wildlands when their larders and storehouses are filled to bursting.

Only a few roads cross the Plains of the Goddess, linking the major cities to each other, with the ruins of Vane at the hub of a wagon wheel. Althena's Guard patrols the highways regularly, making travel (relatively) safe. Anyone heading deeper into the fields does so at their own risk, however.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qi_p5wdBrXw

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

As happy as Xantia was to have an actual bed again when she arrived at the Wolfsbane, it didn't take long for her to fall back into her old habits. Sleeping in weird places rather than her actual bed, sometimes at odd hours. Usually, she sleeps when most others do mainly for the reason that it's boring when no one else is awake. But, every once in a while, even Xantia will seclude herself. Even sneaking off in the dead of night at times. Where does she go?

Fei would know, she's mentioned to him that she has a secret training spot. That's what she calls it, but it's not a very well-kept secret at all. For one thing, it's right out in the open. A grassy hill, underneath a single tree, not far outside of Vane. One can guess how her mind works: no one would expect a secret training spot to be so clearly visible, so it's perfect! At least it makes a little more sense to go there after nightfall so it's a little bit less obvious. Too bad she doesn't always do that. But tonight she did. On a bright, uncloudy night, probably not what most people would pick if they were concerned about being seen. It's difficult to completely figure out Xantia's thought patterns.

But what training does she come here to do? If anybody was actually around to hear, which Xantia is not expecting there would be, it would be easy enough to tell. If perhaps not the easiest to make sense of.

"Hold it right there! You face the mighty Mystery Hero X, champion of justice!"

She's... practicing superhero lines, and poses to go with it. What she lacks in originality, she makes up for in enthusiasm. She turns to face her constant companion in these training sessions. It's the tree. "What do you think? I'm getting better at this, right?" She's talking to the tree. A very bizarre-looking tree at that, branches having grown out at odd elevations, bending back, looping around... it's like some kind of tentacular nightmare tree. Something clearly unnatural happened here. But Xantia won't judge.

Despite the silence the tree leaves her with, the red-haired 'superhero' seems satisfied, putting her hands on her hips and shouting once more at the night sky, coming up with yet another line on the fly. "That's right! It is I, Mystery Hero X! The hope of--"

She pauses, her gaze lingering on the moon, visible in the night sky. The moon, to this place. But as she knows it... "...Filgaia," she finishes her line, in a much softer tone.

She sighs, removing the domino mask from her face, instantly no longer in the mood to continue. She looks down at the mask in her hand, the only thing her superhero 'disguise' consists of, and shakes her head, asking herself a question she finds herself asking herself a lot lately. "What am I doing...?"

<Pose Tracker> Id has posed.

"Dunno Mystery Hero X," The tree tells Xantia. "What is the hope of Filgaia supposed to do?"

Huh that's weird. Trees don't usually talk. In fact, if you think about it, that tree sounds a little bit like Id.

In fact, shortly after saying that, Id steps out from behind the tere. How long has he been there? It's unclear, but he's a martial arts master. Sometimes martial arts masters get to do ridiculous things like hiding in near plain sight. He is wearing a hat that has the words 'DEATH WAITRESS' emblazoned on it.

"What's the matter, kid?" He leans back against the tree. "'Hope' not all it cracked up to be?" Despite being Id, he doesn't seem to be aggressive in this moment.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

What the! Xantia has been 'training' here for some time now, and the tree never spoke a word! Not even when she accidentally punched a hole in it. There's still a gap shaped like Xantia's fist in the trunk.

However, surprisingly, Xantia shows more sense than usual by not in fact assuming it was the tree who said that. Instead, she whirls about, hiding her mask in an inner pocket of her cloak while in motion, and immediately drops into a fighting stance, demanding, "Who's there?!" She does so before even questioning whether she knows that voice. A sensible reaction.

Of course right after that, she shows the exact opposite of a sensible reaction when she realizes who it is, her fighting stance immediately relaxing. It's like she doesn't even expect Id would be here for a fight. Or maybe she figures that if that were the case, she'd probably be on the ground by now? Nah, that's probably giving her way too much credit.

She's surprised, of course, but sounds pleasantly surprised when she identifies, "Id!" And then sees that hat, which draws her attention immediately. "Ah, you have the hat! I was too late getting one, by the time the finals were over--"

Wait a second. This is not at all the proper reaction to have at a time like this, as she realizes just before going off on a tangent about how awesome the Death Waitress is. "Wait, I mean... what are you doing here?! Did you follow me this far?" It would probably have made more sense to say 'us' instead of 'me', but... that isn't what she said.

Although it sounded like she might have been about to use this opportunity to practice her heroic lines... she looks to Id of all people to provide her with hope. "...Do you know how to get back?"

<Pose Tracker> Id has posed.

"Just some asshole," Id answers Xantia's question as to 'who's there'. He doesn't even use 'Id' this time. He closes his eyes for a moment, strangely still considering his frequent brutality and rabidness, but perhaps those scenarios are something he primes himself for rather than going all on all the time.

Id takes the hat off and looks at it. "You want it?"

He seems comfortable lying against the tree and is disinclined to move. He raises an eyebrow at the questions being flung at him, but says, "Never answered my questions. Bit unfair of you." He smirks a little. "I have some ideas on how t'get back. Rather, I know who you should ask." He crosses his arms. "Lucia. She's from here but she knew how to get here, but she's been moving between our worlds for some time now by the sounds of it. There's gotta be a way back that she knows about. I'm not sure I want to go back. Still making up my mind."

He leans forward. "Your turn. What's the matter? Sick of Lunar already or what?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia is not fased one way or another by the way Id identifies himself. But the offer of the hat takes her by surprise. "Wh... really?" She considers this a moment, before shaking her head. "No, that's alright... I'd probably end up not actually wearing it, anyway." She smiles, adding, "Besides, it looks good on you."

She's acting strangely. Being so friendly with Id is one thing, but not taking absolutely everything that's offered to her without a second thought? That isn't like Xantia at all.

She looks a little embarassed when confronted on how she didn't answer Id's questions. That really isn't very fair, she should have done that. But at least that is very much like Xantia, asking endless questions while not really paying any attention to conversation etiquette. She doesn't seek to rectify it right away, hearing out Id's answer first.

It's confusing to her, because of earlier misunderstandings. "Lucia? The Lord of Calamity? I don't think that big cat monster is going to answer my questions..." But that is far less confusing to her than Id's feelings about the matter. "Huh? Why wouldn't you want to go back?"

She raises a hand to cover her mouth. Whoops, she's already started asking questions again. Id's right, it's her turn to answer. And it's not like she minds being honest about this one, anyway. Even if it's easy to tell just thinking about it makes her sad.

"I shouldn't be here... I can't be here. I need to be on Filgaia, not just to find out who I am, but..." She shakes her head. "I don't know, it's just a feeling I have, that there's something important I need to do there. This place..." Xantia looks around the large expanse of beautiful grassy plains surrounding the hill, admitting, "It's pretty, but... I don't belong here. That's what it feels like."

<Pose Tracker> Id has posed.

It does seem like Id would have actually given Xantia the hat but after a small laugh he puts it back on his head. "Well if you're not gonna wear it. If you change your mind, let me know."

He doesn't answer Xantia immediately but the answer Xantia gives him leads back there anyway. Id opens his eyes, though they remain slanted, not wholly open. Two paths but they lead to the same commentary track.

"That wasn't Lucia." Id explains first, because there's only so far that joke can go. "Lucia's a blue haired girl whom Hiro and Jean follow around."

He exhales as he glances to the side and says, "Filgaia is a prison. Here, it's far easier for me to walk and be free. It's got its own annoyances, but they're at least annoyances I haven't had to deal with for all of my life." How long is that? Id does not say.

"But," He admits. "I feel the same way. Very pretty, but I ain't so sure I belong here." He smirks a little. "Heh. Talkin' like this makes it sound like I'm gonna walk back into my cell. Or maybe Lunar's just a gilded cage."

"Or maybe," Id murmurs. "There's something important for me to do." He looks to Xantia. "Don't suppose you know what's important for you to do there."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia meant it, because she never says anything she doesn't mean. She does think the hat looks good on Id. That, and she has more of her weird perception of things to share. "Hats are weird, aren't they? If you wear one, you can't look at it. That's a bit pointless." But having a friendly chat with someone who you keep trying to stop destroying things you don't want them to destroy, nothing weird about that.

The revelation of the truth regarding the name Lucia hits Xantia like a brick, causing her to physically recoil. "Wh-what?! You mean... there's TWO Lords of Calamity?" And just when she thought she had this whole mess figured out, too. This is exactly why she generally doesn't even try to figure out the big picture, there always seems to be more that comes out of left field anyway.

A prison, Id calls Filgaia. Xantia's knee-jerk impulse is to object, but she doesn't actually end up doing so. Instead, she mulls it over while Id speaks, finally concluding, "I guess... if it feels like you're supposed to be there, that it feels unnatural to be anywhere else... that's a little bit like a prison." Deep thoughts like that are also not very Xantia.

She doesn't get stuck on that however, cheering up instantly when learning Id feels the same way she does. "Really, you also think there's something you need to do on Filgaia? Then... maybe whatever I was supposed to do has something to do with you!" As always, far too eager to jump to conclusions. But she seems especially eager about somehow tieing her fate to Id's. After all, she felt like this might be the case for a while now.

Figuring out what that might be, though, that's the tough part. Crossing her arms, she looks pensive as she thinks out loud. "First I felt sure that I had to fight you, but... now I'm not so sure. I mean, I don't want to fight you right now. But I still feel... something, whenever I see you. Maybe I wasn't supposed to stop you from doing something, but help you do something...?" She doesn't seem to see this as a dangerous line of thought at all.

<Pose Tracker> Id has posed.

"'Lord of Calamity' sounds like it's just a fancy title given to people that aren't cared for by the masses. That kitty seems like he embraced the title." Id glances to Xantia. "...Demon of Elru is the same way. As is 'Metal Demons'. Words have power, and the madmen in charge have always used them to maximum effect."

Id admits about the hat. "I just thought it was metal and I liked it. It's nice to have things that are your own." Yet he tried to give the hat to Xantia with mild prompting.

Hey if it was easy to see the big picture all at once, it wouldn't be claled the 'Big' picture, right?

Id doesn't look directly at Xantia when she has her own comments to share on it being a prison. I know what they--" He closes his eyes, and exhales. "You have a way of gettin' me to talk." His fingers curl inwards.

"Whomever created you, or raised you, or whatever your parents are. Whomever they are. You don't owe 'em anything. I guess for you, having something you 'gotta' do is kind of a refreshing distraction from what you don't have. I don't blame you for having something like that. But you don't have to look to others for what that's supposed to be, 'specially not your parents or parent or whatever form they might take."

He finally turns back to look at Xantia square on. "Find your own purpose. You don't want to be hanging around me anyway. I'm dangerous and dangerous thins happen to me. I know you can take it, and you can take it until the day suddenly you can't. But by then it's too late."

And then he laughs, "Or maybe, maybe you lucked out and your creator decided you should make your own choice. Destruction, Rejuvenation--two sides of the same coin."

"For me," Id says. "I guess I'm on Filgaia to live out my sentence.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Words have power. Now there's a thing Xantia's never put any thought into, but that is true, isn't it? Call somebody something different than their own name, and it affects how people see them. "I see... so that's why superheroes need a superhero name." She's thought about it a bit more than that, but putting things into her own localized frame of reference helps her understand things better. On that note... "Death Waitress too... that's a nice one though, right?" For a certain definition of 'nice'. They seem to be on the same page about that one.

Xantia tilts her head inquisitively when Id mentions she has a way of getting him to talk. She was never trying to be manipulative in any way, she doesn't even understand the concept of manipulation very well. Which may be exactly what makes her disarming. She's 100 percent genuine, about everything, all the time. No hidden motives or secret agendas, what you see is what you get.

She also absorbs everything people tell her as valuable information, because well, even she herself realizes that she doesn't know what she's doing most of the time. Which is why she doesn't interrupt as Id comments on her situation, and how it's better to find her own purpose. He has her figured out pretty well - feeling like she has a purpose is extremely important to her. But there's one thing that stands in the way of all that, which she'll freely admit to, if not while looking Id in the eyes.

"...Maybe that's what I'll end up deciding to do. But... I just don't feel like I can make a good choice until I know what it is I was supposed to do. It feels like whatever it is was really important to me once. I have to know why." She turns back to look at Id, a vague hint of a smile finding its way back to her features. "If it wasn't my choice, I'm fine with finding my own purpose. But if it was, if I already had a purpose I believed in... I can't just let it go."

She doesn't look quite as amused as Id apparently is, about the possibility of her being supposed to make her own choice. "You mean about my powers. That... Ether thing. I wish I understood that better too. If it goes well, I can really help people. But, if it doesn't, things could turn out... well, like that." She gestures toward the tree. Something unnatural happened to make it sprout those tentacle branches, alright. Something that Xantia is responsible for.

Part of her really wants to ask more questions about Id referring to his purpose on Filgaia as a sentence. She starts to, wondering aloud, "Sentence?" But then immediately holds up her hand, deciding, "No, don't tell me. I probably wouldn't understand it anyway. And I really don't think it's going to matter to me."

Uncharacteristically serious, she now does manage to look Id square in the eye, earnestly asserting, "I know how dangerous you are. I know you're probably going to do more things that make me want to stop you. I don't care that you will. I don't care to know why. And I don't care if you think I'm stupid for saying this, I'm going to say it anyway: I don't think you're the monster everyone says you are."

<Pose Tracker> Id has posed.

"Well I suppose it depends on how you feel about Lunata," Id admits. He doesn't share his own opinion on Lunata. He also doesn't share much about superheroes. Maybe he doesn't know about that topic.

He does admit, "That's fair." to Xantia. "If I could tell you what you were 'supposed' to do, I would, but 'Filgaia's Hope'...I wouldn't know what that is. Hope." He shakes his head. "I hate the word. 'Hope is the worst of all evils, for it prolongs the torment of man.'" He seems to be quoting someone there rather than speaking just for himself, but he turns back to Xantia, gesturing forward. "But how you feel about it is up to you." He pulls away from the tree, standing at his full height. "Sometimes that comes with a price." He always feels like warning Xantia it seems, of danger, constantly, and Xantia seems to finally be spouting back at him about it.

He looks back to the tree, as if paying attention to it for the first time now that Xantia has called attention to it. "Ether tends to be elemental in nature. Most ether users only know one element but I would honestly be surprised if you were that limited. I imagine electricity is one of yours. Talk to that Lily woman. She knows about ether. Or ... the other girl." He doesn't mention Elly by name.

He smiles briefly. "Wasn't going to say anyway."

Xantia then says he's not a monster. He knew she was going to say something like that. They always do when he isn't trying to kill like he was made to. But he ain't gonna be any puppet. Not even the old man's.

"You're right. I'm even worse. I'm human." That's not what Xantia meant! But he says it anyway.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia's blank expression gives away that she doesn't see how enjoying the whole Death Waitress thing depends on how you feel about Lunata. It's like she only ever understands half of what anybody is talking about at any given time. Or maybe she only worries about half what most people would worry about. Either or seems fair.

She doesn't interject until Id starts ragging on hope, which prompts her to lift a finger in protest. "Oh, are we doing sayings? I know a loooot of sayings about hope, and I like how they sound a lot more than yours! How's this: 'Hope is being able to see the light in every darkness!' Or how about 'As night cannot defeat the sunrise, no problem is capable of defeating hope!' Or 'Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers!' ...I don't really get that one, but honey is tasty, so it must be a good thing."

The moral of this story: don't try to use sayings against someone who's read a whole lot of phrasebooks, and selectively memorized all the ones she liked. Nobody wins in that kind of fight.

The fact that it may come with a price, that she'll readily admit to, adding with a nod, "I know. But even if it does, that kind of thing makes you stronger too, right? 'Without hope, there is no struggle; without struggle, there can be no personal betterment.' How many of these DOES she know, anyway? Perhaps she went out of her way to learn as many things as she could about hope, ever since she had that vision referring to her as Filgaia's hope. That sounds like her.

On matters of Ether, however, she doesn't consider herself nearly as knowledgable. As evidenced by the fact that she looks shocked to learn, "Is that Lily's power, too?" She certainly doesn't know Ether when she sees it. Though the way she uses it is a little different from the typical, that doesn't help in that regard. Chances are she hasn't figured out who 'the other girl' is, but she may still, in time. Right now she's a bit distracted, looking at her hands as she flexes her fingers, probably wondering if it's true that she could do more elements, and if so how she could get that to work.

And then when Id claims to be something worse than a monster, Xantia... nods, readily agreeing, "Exactly! So there's no reason not to treat you like a human." Maybe she just... somehow missed the part where Id called humans worse than monsters? Who even knows, with Xantia. She'll even say something like this to Id: "Nobody should be all alone, without any friends. So, let's be friends!"

For a girl who's all about hope, she just might be hopeless.

<Pose Tracker> Id has posed.

Id considers Xantia's sayings. "...Sometimes I wonder if you have a sarcastic side to you." He also is wondering if Xantia is pretending to not know about it or if it's another secret personality trait that hasn't expressed itself as obviously as Id and his other selves.

Id needs to maintain his eternal cynicism. He is an eternal flame, baby. Xantia is too hopeful, too optimistic. Even when she's depressed it's not that bad, except when the weird stuff happens but that's rare and really you can't blame Xantia for getting weird now and then when she's otherwise so optimistic.

"Yes. Don't tell her I mentioned. It's not really my business to get involved."

Id looks away as Xantia still, STILL reaches out to him. Despite everything he said, and despite--well not everything, Id didn't share everything, he could never share everything--but despite some of what he has done.

"We'll...see." Id says. "That's all I can promise. You can hope for a positive answer later, if you want."

He then gives Xantia one last headpat before starting to walk away. "...If I find a way back, I'll letcha know though. Since you have to go back and all."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

A sarcastic side? Xantia? Perish the thought. Though she manages to take even THAT comment in a hopeful way. "Really? Am I learning sarcasm? Great!" Even that could very much pass for sarcasm, if she wasn't so genuinely enthusiastic about this prospect. And if she didn't follow it up with "...I'm not sure what I said that was sarcastic, but great!"

Teaching her cynicism though, that seems like a completely lost cause. She's way too eager to see the good in everything, and everyone. That's just the only thing that makes sense to her. As such, she'll gladly take advice from Id. And if he tells her not to mention him to others, she's not going to do that. Because she's already decided she wants to be friends, which means he's getting treated like one.

She's not getting a hard 'no', which is really all she needs. Her hope is perfectly capable of doing the rest. "Okay, that's fine! We'll see what happens, then!" What happens is she gets a headpat, and the offer of help with the one thing she needs help with more than anything else right now. Needless to say, this makes her rather ecstatic, clasping her hands together.

"I knew you'd understand, thank you so much! If you ever decide you do need my help with something, you just have to ask!" Still going on about that, too. Like she doesn't even realize she could be asked to help with something terrible. She must, if what she said earlier is true. And yet...

And yet all she can think about in this moment can be read in her elated expression. 'I knew it, we're totally friends,' is probably what she's thinking.