2021-09-08: A Courier of Bad News

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  • Log: A Courier of Bad News
  • Cast: Loren Voss, Gwen Whitlock
  • Where: Damzen City - Sandblasted Outskirts
  • Date: September 08, 2021
  • Summary: Gwen has some bad news for Loren. He takes it fairly well.

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    He hasn't really had a reason to be by here in a long time.

    This is even excepting the fact that he's been assigned elsewhere and isn't staffing at Assyria Base currently -- no, there had been an incident here a while back involving a rather knife-happy young man with a grudge that had driven him to keep a wide berth for... a while.

    But his leave had ended, and it seemed that he'd been hand-selected for a particular expedition in the desert nearby.

    Before he gets returned to duty elsewhere, that is.

    So Damzen City is the closest place of significance on his way to reconvene at Assyria, and things being as they are, he's doing that trek more or less on foot (horse, caravan, etc) most of the way along.

    But waiting for his next connection (thankfully, no, Loren doesn't have to walk to base on foot; the universe doesn't hate him that much) has left him with a considerable gap of time and not much to do (at least in front of the locals, that is).

    So he's currently standing outside a billboard outside what he thinks is a tavern (he's not willing to confirm) and regarding the notes of the day. Stuff like...

    "FARGORGE: SEE OUR TWO-HEADED GOAT!"
    "WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: BRYNN 'SMILEY' FULTON"
    "SEEKING COURIER: ASAP!"
    "MINE CLAIM DISPUTE! SHOTS FIRED!"
    "HALF-OFF NIGHT AT FINLEY'S HOLE!"
    "SNAKE EXTERMINATOR NEEDED!"

    ...the sort of things that just tell Loren more than he ever wanted to know about life around here.

    He sighs. Still, it isn't as if he has anything better to do right now. Huh, that note's about a walking cactus. Seems fake.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    The universe does not hate Loren. It just seems that way, sometimes.

    Like now.

    Because there's a familiar courier that steps up to the billboard, her presence as light and casual as a dragonfly perching on a lamppost.

    She's here specifically to read the billboard; as good as her person-locating senses can be sometimes, she's not psychic, and her days of feeling that thread of familiarity towards Loren are long over.

    Her intention on still viewing Loren with a degree of empathy and quiet respect, however, refuse to go out, even after that traumatic encounter in St. Heim involving his new control over fire.

    She casually looks over at Loren's sigh, then does a doubletake when she recognizes who it is.

    The courier holds her breath for a moment, filled with excitement and dread over this chance encounter.

    "... Loren?" His name is only said softly, when people are out of earshot. ".... I, er..."

    It's not going to go well, but would it be even worse if she does nothing?
    
    "It's... good to see you. Though, to be honest... er. I have something I need t'tell you. Private-like."

    The universe does not hate Loren. But maybe, it'd be better if it did, if this is what 'pure chance' looks like.

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    The last time he'd crossed paths with her, he'd set her on fire a little bit. But it's probably not the worst altercation they'd had with one another. Or might still have.

    Whatever was left of Rahab in him has been several months obliterated. Which also means that whatever connection they'd had -- how faint, how strange -- is long gone. He doesn't even notice as Gwen approaches him, so intent is he on that weird political cartoon involving a donkey and what looks it's meant to be (it's helpfully labeled) the master of Guild Galad.

    Of course, Gwen doesn't recognize who he is either, at first.

    "Uh?"

    Until she addresses him first, that is.

    He looks her up and down, glances off towards the milling crowd of Damzena and... sighs.

    "...Fine, what is it?" 'Let's just get this over with', is the look on his face. If this is meant to be some sort of weird attempt to get him to switch sides, or, who knows what...

    "In private? Fine. But you'd better get out of here afterwards," he tells her, which is a statement she can read as she pleases. He looks about hismelf, then jabs a thumb towards an alleyway. "There?"

    People around here might assume something but, frankly, this time around... he doesn't care.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "It's important," she adds, as Loren looks her up and down. Her eyes are clear, her gaze direct, her brow slightly furrowed.

    He may know by now that she only looks this way when she believes what she says. Back when he was in Lan and Gwen's care, it was the way Gwen looked when she answered any questions of his that lacked easy answers, or when she was concerned about Solaris finding them too soon.

    It never bodes well when someone like Gwen looks at a person like this.

    The fact that Gwen looks relieved when Loren gives in is probably an even larger warning sign.

    "Yeah, that works. Just bear with me, I ain't sure if-- well, you'll understand, in a sec." And that should be like a loud siren of alarm, when it's combined with another one of those typical sheepish smiles she makes.

    As if Loren had not tried to set her on fire last time.

     People do look as the courier and medic disappear into the alleyway, at least one musing with glee just what sort of liaison they may get up to, out of view. Another will draw on at least of decade of experience and realize that any two people going into an alleyway wearing those sorts of expressions... are likely not going there for a fun time.

    In the alleyway, Gwen turns, her worry now on full display. "Loren, I'm gonna be frank. I saw the Blue-Eyed Stranger, just recently. He's..." Not done with her. But that's not what she's here for. "He got you in his crosshairs, Loren. In a bad way. Not to kill you, but, something else."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    'It's important'.

    Yeah. He's already figured that one out by the look in her eyes. Loren can't help but sigh. Can't he, just for once, get a break? If it's not his job telling him this or that is essential, it's Lan telling him to save the world, or his mother silently giving him the eye, or even Leah just being...

    ...herself.

    "I know," he tells her, slouching his shoulders. One of these days he's just gonna...
    Keep on taking it, honestly, because it's still better than the alternative.

    ...Emperor, he's really hosed this time, that's for sure. That sort of attitude from her just says it all.

    (but at least no one will suspect any hanky-panky??)

    Yep. It's just as bad as he thought. Loren leans -- slumps -- against a dirty wall and gazes up towards a thin slice of blue sky.

    "That guy again, huh," he says, not looking at Gwen.

    And what she says next doesn't prompt... much of anything from him except resignation. He's silent for a few moments, as if digesting this privately.

    "Yeah," he says, straightening up just a bit and looking at her again. "I think I know what he wants, too." Closing his eyes, Loren shakes his head. "I'll die first."

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "Trust me, if it wasn't important, I'd just wave n' be on my way. I appreciate you givin' me a minute." Maybe, Loren's changed some, or maybe, she had gotten so used to the way Loren was when he had forgotten so much that she didn't know what he was like outside of that.

    Too bad she's a messenger of bad news. A courier of bad news.

    "Yeah," Gwen says with a sigh. "It's 'im. Lan's filled you in on all the stuff on her side. I figured he was done with me after--" It wouldn't be wise to reveal too much, especially when it doesn't matter in this instance. "After I lost that spark."

    It would be okay to say that much, she reasons. It was the reason there was that strange resonance between them, after all.
    
    After that, she doesn't say anything of note, letting that blessed silence coat the sharp chill of that news.

    "You do?"

    ( "And when he _______________, he will die." )

    "... Could you tell me?"

    ( When he looks down, in another space, it is the late evening, with just enough sun to peek over the horizon. She reaches out a left hand towards him, her silhouette soft and her manner comforting, despite being cloaked in night. The jet feathers sing to him a lullaby and the only thing that stands from her black silhouette is the white teeth of her smile and the vivid blue of her eyes, like a moon-kissed field of cornflowers. )

    "I might be able to stop him."
    When he looks down, in this space, at the same time, it is still day, it is still the alleyway, and Gwen is there as her usual self, her left hand hesitantly about to reach out towards him, but stopped, as if she thought better of it

    She withdraws it, with a chuckle. "Sorry. Just... let's see if we can find a solution that isn't you dying. I don't know what he wants with you, but I doubt it'd stop if you died. Or even if I died." Or if Lan died.

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    He's changed some, over time. Once he would have tried to have ditched her, or not believed her, or any number of things.
    It also helps that he has his memory, now.

    But no. Landdwellers are... people. That's the conclusion he's come to, even at the expense of certain aspects of his conceit. He's still grappling with it, still trying to square the things he's learned growing up with the things he's seen and experienced. Sometimes what he'd learned growing up is right. But more than often, it seems to be wrong, or, even more than that, it isn't really right or wrong. It just is.

    He's been used to dividing the world into black and white most of his life. Coming to terms with endless shades of grey is difficult, even if it doesn't mean he has to abandon black and white outright.

    He nods when Gwen explains, only to blink a moment later.

    "...Yeah. She told me some of it," he answers, his gaze a touch distant for a moment. "...But some things, I've figured out, too. He's spoken to me," he says.
    He's even inherited a memory of Lan's.

    "That's... how I know. Or how I think I know," he tells Gwen. "I think he wants me to... take her place. Or become something like her." He sighs weightily and shakes his head. "That's where he's wrong. She's... I mean, I know. But I can't do it," he settles for, unable to fully find a way to say 'there's no way I can exchange my family and my people for Lan'. Not in a way that doesn't feel like it's undermining what she's come to mean to her, while not also being a lie.

    Solaris might not feel like home but it's still where the people he cares about the most live. It's what his brother would have died for--

    And there's no fighting against the weight of that, either.

    Is it a reverie? Some sort of daydream instead? He feels for an instant as if he's suddenly dropped about a foot even if the ground under his feet says different. She looks strange. She looks familiar. He blinks, as if trying to rouse himself, but he's not in this place anymore and she's not herself either. Confusion dances across his face; against the wall he hesitates as she stretches a hand out towards him. Why does he feel like she's his--

    "...What?"

    The world around him resolves into proper focus. It's a late afternoon in Damzen City. There's the chatter of the crowd here and there, the stink of the unwashed, and there before him, just Gwen Whitlock.

    She might be able to stop him, she'd said.

    It takes Loren a moment to really reorient himself.

    "Uh-- hey, what did you think I meant by that?! I was just saying I'd rather die, not that it's some kind of--" he fusses at her, suddenly irate. "I'm not-- that's not even a good way to die! What do you think I am?!"

    He's been trying to get past that way of thinking, anyway.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "T'be fair, I don't think Lan would be happy that someone bought her freedom. If she's thinking on her own two feet. Not that what the Stranger is offerin' is 'the world that is gets to just stay put', so.... eh?" Gwen looks up from gesturing with her hands, alarmed.

    She groans, pressing a hand to her forehead. "Guardians, he's buggin' you too on top of it?! As if y'didn't have *enough* on your plate." Her shoulders slouch. "Maybe, like, there's some info on him, in...?" She points upwards, towards the sky. "I think what's her name might even... er..."

    Leah. She means Leah.

    Gwen laughs uneasily. "Just, like, if anybody's got info on him... I ain't askin' you to tell me, because it's clear I'm compromised, but like..." Those hands, that gestured this way and that, now wrap themselves in front of her. "Sometimes, I don't..." ... know who she really is.

    She quickly waves a hand. "Anyway. It's a thought."

    -----what?

    ("I might be able to save you.")
    ("I must go 'there,' to that place. In the dark, the Stranger will come for that boy, and the boy will suffer as he awakens. He will struggle, and he will writhe. And when he has the moment, he will do _________, and he will think as ___________________. And when he _______________, he will die. Unless I--
    "I might be able to stop the Stranger."
    ... says thee more instances of Gwen, in three another realities.
    
    The meaning is the same in all.

    As is Loren's meaning, in his words, in this reality.

    Gwen looks shocked, then slowly, her expression gives way to relief, and then, a soft fit of laughter. "Man, you *have* grown. Maybe I was wrong t'doubt you. But... I'm glad, y'know?"

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "T'be fair, I don't think Lan would be happy that someone bought her freedom. If she's thinking on her own two feet. Not that what the Stranger is offerin' is 'the world that is gets to just stay put', so.... eh?" Gwen looks up from gesturing with her hands, alarmed.

    She groans, pressing a hand to her forehead. "Guardians, he's buggin' you too on top of it?! As if y'didn't have *enough* on your plate." Her shoulders slouch. "Maybe, like, there's some info on him, in...?" She points upwards, towards the sky. "I think what's her name might even... er..."

    Leah. She means Leah.

    Gwen laughs uneasily. "Just, like, if anybody's got info on him... I ain't askin' you to tell me, because it's clear I'm compromised, but like..." Those hands, that gestured this way and that, now wrap themselves in front of her. "Sometimes, I don't..." ... know who she really is.

    She quickly waves a hand. "Anyway. It's a thought."

    -----what?

    ("I might be able to save you.")
    ("I must go 'there,' to that place. In the dark, the Stranger will come for that boy, and the boy will suffer as he awakens. He will struggle, and he will writhe. And when he has the moment, he will do _________, and he will think as ___________________. And when he _______________, he will die. Unless I--
    "I might be able to stop the Stranger."
    ... says thee more instances of Gwen, in three another realities.
    
    The meaning is the same in all.

    As is Loren's meaning, in his words, in this reality.

    Gwen looks shocked, then slowly, her expression gives way to relief, and then, a soft fit of laughter. "Man, you *have* grown. Maybe I was wrong t'doubt you. But... I'm glad, y'know?"

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    "No, she'd never leave me alone if I did that," Loren grouses, the irritation on him almost visible. "But I'm not going to do that, so she can rest easy."

    Just because someone means a lot to you doesn't mean you're willing or able to move heaven and earth everything things go wrong for them. And just because you won't do that doesn't mean you don't feel a little bad about that, either.

    'Am I not enough', she'd said to him.

    The truth is, in spite of how much he's come to care about her, how much he owes her, how much-- all of the guilt is worth... no, she's not enough. Not worth the end of the world, or at the least, the end of his world.

    "I wouldn't say bugging me as much as haunting me," Loren says with a sniff as he turns his head away. "Anyway, what's all this 'enough on my plate' business, anyway?" He must have something on his mind to speak a disjointed sentence like that, though.

    "You mean, Leah? --The Major," he corrects, shaking his head as he looks Gwen's way again. "How should I know? Some things are classified." Some things will get you killed for asking after.

    But in his case, he might have enough leverage if he asks in the right way...

    He'll file that one away for later. He'll have to be careful. Leah probably won't kill him for this, but it doesn't mean he'll enjoy the experience if he steps wrong even so.

    It feels for a moment like he's in three places at once, having three conversations at once.

    "Are you talking about me? I don't know what he's planning, but that's not... he's wrong about me," Loren insists, shaking his head.

    Save him. Stop him. Destroy him.

    His pulse is racing. It feels like something is going to happen--

    And then just like that he pulls a face when she says he's grown. "Uh, what? What are you talking about?" he asks Gwen, clearly at least somewhat put out.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "You're right, Lan wouldn't." Gwen smiles slightly, at this, relaxing her arms. "N' just to clarify... my meeting with the Stranger was recent. I haven't had a chance to tell Lan anything 'bout it."

    For all Loren's grown, he's still the grumpy young man they all know and... well, it can be lovable, in some ways.

    "Well, I mean..." Gwen shrugs. "Slowly losing all your memory, going through a mental trial by fire to get it back, then having to decide right then and there what you wanted to do right in front of Lan..."

    She excludes herself from this number. A lot of what she felt was something she needed to deal with, not Loren.

    Rolling her shoulders, Gwen adds, "... Those scars are the ones the Stranger likes to jab his fingers into. .... Not that I'm sayin' anything you don't already know. As for lookin' up info on him, just... keep it in mind, right? Maybe an opportunity might spring up. I just floatin' the idea out there; I don't want you to get killed over it."

    Loren reacts to all these different visions in this space, and Gwen stops, genuine bewilderment on her freckled face. "No, I mean, like, he told me he was going to come after you, but there's something I might be able to do to stop him. I just... it's a feeling, not something solid. Sorry, it's kinda hard to put my thoughts in order over it, so..."

    Wait, why does he seem so incredulous over a compliment like this?

    "I mean, like..." She gestures her palms upward, trying to vaguely convey the abstract idea of personal growth. "... I don't think I would've been able to even talk to you and get you to listen, much less give me the time of day." Not that Gwen can't imagine a million legitimate reasons why he would avoid talking to her in the first place.

    "Just... just take it as a compliment."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    "I figured," he sighs, running his hands down the sides of his face. "I haven't seen her in a month." Which probably should make him worry, but is he really about to start with that now, after having had plenty to worry about previously? No, not really.

    Which might be another reason why he just gives her a look when she comments that it must have been a lot to go through.

    "No kidding," he tells her, leaning back against the wall again. "But it's behind me now." Grown some or not, he doesn't like thinking about it too much. Not any more than picking at it some, anyway -- he's got enough to deal with as it stands, and that whole experience had forced him to look long and hard enough at some of his own ugliness already.

    He still has to think about what he's going to do with that knowledge. It's not like he can take back what he did.

    But for right now, he shakes his head. "...I know."

    Azazel already had. It doesn't make him all that confident about any future meetings, frankly. But he knows he can't just do what he wants. "Anyway, I'll think about it. There are things just as bad as that guy, you know." Which is his way of saying, 'he can't just poke around mindlessly'. Even a First Class citizen has to mind the unwritten rules of Solaris.

    "Yeah?"

    She says there's something she could do to stop him. "Like what? Isn't he maybe listening in right now?" It's about the best reason he can think of why that asshole knows so much about him. Maybe about all of them. "Please tell me you're not just... oh, no, you are."

    His shoulders slouch. He looks almost comically put out.

    "You don't even have a plan, do you," he says to her, exasperated.

    But that doesn't stop him from looking absolutely incredulous when she compliments him. "I... guess," he allows, shaking his head. "Look, I just... had a lot to think about. That's all," Loren settles for, shrugging widely.

    He still does, if he's being honest.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "I'll check in on her." Gwen finds a dusty crate and pulls herself onto it. "If there's something off and I need your help, I'll try to reach you discreet-like." How? Well, she is a courier, disregarding all the caveats laid out earlier.

    There are things just as bad as the Stranger, yes. It was what led her into the Stranger's company in the first place.

    "Yeah." Gwen nods. "I'll trust your judgment here." She'll have to. It's not as if she and Lan could go make a giant rescue if Loren was in trouble, after all.

    The way Loren looks so exasperated is almost adorable if she didn't know what he was very capable of doing in a combat situation. "What, and you have a plan?" She raises her hands outward. "This was a chance meeting! I hadn't gotten beyond 'warn Loren'." Now it's Gwen's turn to flop forward, like a dejected ragdoll. "... Just, there was something I could do. I just can't remember *what*, but it's clear that if I remember it, I can stop it from happening."

    She'll protect Loren. And, by proxy, Lan.

    And... success! Loren accepted the compliment. Clearly there's hope for him after all! Gwen fights the urge to curl her lips in a satisfied smirk.

    "... Also, I met Ashansi. Did Lan ever tell you 'bout him?"

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    "Okay," he says, and he looks dubious when he says it, but... what is he supposed to do here? Tell her no, don't help out?

    He's probably just going to have to hang on and hope, in this case.

    For his part, if he messes up he could end up dead, too! There's really no helping anything if Leah gets wise on him and decides to do something about the situation. ...But even he doesn't think it's going to quite come to that. He's just also not sure what could happen.

    "Of course I don't have a plan!" he blurts out at her. "What makes you think I have a plan?! I'm trying not to get me or her killed, that's my plan!" And frankly, he's not even sure he's managing that too well, given that he... doesn't know... what he's doing.

    Or anything really about Azazel.

    Or how he's going to stop what he's trying to do (the destruction of Solaris? more than that?) in any meaningful way.

    Loren has about a few seconds to grapple with 'accepted a compliment' before Gwen lands her next attack on him--

    There is a long, long moment where Loren stares at Gwen. "What?"

    Isn't he some sort of hallucination or trick? Or, for that matter, technically a dead one??

    Slowly, slowly he buries his face in his hands. Why. Why this.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

</poem>

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    "Okay," he says, and he looks dubious when he says it, but... what is he supposed to do here? Tell her no, don't help out?

    He's probably just going to have to hang on and hope, in this case.

    For his part, if he messes up he could end up dead, too! There's really no helping anything if Leah gets wise on him and decides to do something about the situation. ...But even he doesn't think it's going to quite come to that. He's just also not sure what could happen.

    "Of course I don't have a plan!" he blurts out at her. "What makes you think I have a plan?! I'm trying not to get me or her killed, that's my plan!" And frankly, he's not even sure he's managing that too well, given that he... doesn't know... what he's doing.

    Or anything really about Azazel.

    Or how he's going to stop what he's trying to do (the destruction of Solaris? more than that?) in any meaningful way.

    Loren has about a few seconds to grapple with 'accepted a compliment' before Gwen lands her next attack on him--

    There is a long, long moment where Loren stares at Gwen. "What?"

    Isn't he some sort of hallucination or trick? Or, for that matter, technically a dead one??

    Slowly, slowly he buries his face in his hands. Why. Why this.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    Loren blurts out that he has no plan, and Gwen, despite wanting to give him a smug smirk and a 'I thought so', can't feel much pride in the act. She knows that feeling, to a degree.

    So she says, simply, softly, "... Then you're in the same boat as I am."

    The courier looks Loren straight in the eyes, her own grey-blue irises as sober as a grey sky with no sight of rain. "But that's why I'm coming to you. We both want to keep Lan safe. We're both compromised as hell. But we also both know we're tryin' our best. Just... whatever you do, keep true to yourself. Don't... well, I mean... like, if you're being faced with a situation where you're being forced to be a certain way or think a certain way by the Stranger, be real damn careful. He doesn't want your life, he wants some part of you that makes you to die. At least... that's my thinkin'." She's tapping the side of her head as she says this, stepping back a step.

    Gwen sould have quit while she was ahead, because Loren is now clearly in despair over the merest mention of a certain crass young man.

    "Whoah, whoah, whoah there!" Gwen places her hands up. "It was in the Stranger's... world.... place. I confronted the Stranger 'bout him, for obvious reasons. Regardless of whatever the guy's origin is, it's tied with the Stranger, n' I don't think he's just some made-up character the Stranger's done. I mean, think 'bout it. Ashansi's hat is a crime against nature, for one, and for someone t'fail *that bad*, they have to be certain kind of genuine. His actions, the way he talks, how he acts--"

    She shuts up, at long last, realizing the theory she was about to lay out was one she *definitely* did not want to admit in front of someone like Loren.

    How can she say that Ashansi was clearly some sort of male amalgam of traits from her and Lan, after she just said the man was a walking fashion disaster?

    She claps her hands together. ".... I'm clearly a better judge of fashion than he is, so I ain't sure where he got that from." She clears her throat. "Anyway, the dude doesn't know who Lan is, for some weird reason. Even when I cried right in front of him. He said he was on the trail of some bounty, n' that he'd be keepin' an eye on me, because I clearly was going to get in the way of it."

    The bounty couldn't have been on Lan, right? Or Loren?

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    So they're in the same boat. ...He doesn't have anything to say to that and instead gazes at her for a long moment.

    "...Fine," he says, at length. "As long as we can save her, then that's fine by me." He's come a long way from the man he used to be, already. "'True to myself', huh? Heh." He smiles at that, if bitterly. Sometimes he's not entirely certain what that is, all considering.

    But...

    "So that's what he's getting at. He's trying to find that part that... makes us want to give up," he says, hesitating a moment as if picking his words. 'Give up' is not quite the right word for it. But Gwen doesn't stop there.

    "Wait-- so are you telling me... the Stranger, er, Azazel-- the Stranger," Loren settles on, shaking his head. "That he's actually some part of him? I always thought he was some sort of," he pauses to gesture vaguely, "some kind of hallucination, I guess."

    There's a long, weighty pause.

    Something by Loren's eye twitches. "His... hat?"

    Does he want to know the answer here?

    But Gwen goes on and when she unviels a particular something about Ashansi--

    "He... doesn't remember Lan? But--" Slowly Loren starts to frown, then outright scowls. "She-- she gave herself up to save him! How can he just--?!"

    Gwen's not the only one who appears to be upset, hearing this news.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "... And, as long as we keep ourselves alive," Gwen adds, with a smirk.

    It may not be the right words, but Gwen seems to get what Loren is meaning, as she nods. "Yeah. More or less. That's how he got me, as shameful as it is to admit it. Maybe you haven't quite flipped the right mental switch for him yet, n' that's what he wants."

    The name causes Gwen to briefly blink just before she clues in. "... Oh right, Azazel is what Solaris calls him, huh..." She scratches the side of her head. "Thing is, I don't think Ashansi's a genuine part of him. It's just too different from the rest of the Stranger. But in the ways he's diffferent are the same ways he's similar to Lan n' me." She clears her throat. "... If taken to an, uh, extreme degree. But I don't wanna just say 'he's some figment of the Stranger's imagination', because it just.... feels wrong, somehow. If you've met him, I bet you'd get the same feeling."

    No man could have an outfit that terrible unless some part of them was original to them.

    Loren's anger is a pleasant surprise to Gwen, showing just how much Loren does know about what role Ashansi played in Lan's decisions.

    "I told him as such. He told me that if he knew someone like that, he'd definitely remember her." Foilding her arms, Gwen states, "The version of Ashansi I saw, whether he was a copy, the original, or some other variant, genuinely did not know who Lan was, or wasn't allowed to remember. And believe me, he was disturbed enough 'bout me crying on him that if he could, he *would* have told me just to get me to shut up."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    Loren sighs, as if put upon. "Fine, and that too," he agrees, shaking his head.

    "Maybe," Loren allows her, but the look on his face says it all -- if what he's been through so far hasn't been enough, then he'd hate to see what happens when Azazel decides to actually try and break him.

    "...Yeah," Loren says, with some hesitation. "That's not his real name, either. It's... a codename. We use them for... well, you know." Loren finishes, slouching his shoulders. He's already said way too much.

    "No, I haven't met him. But you don't think he's just... some other part of the Stranger? Like he might have been someone else before whatever happened happened? I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't think it would be all that strange if they were the same person..."

    After all, he's aware of his own ugliness. It wouldn't be strange if, maybe, Azazel was just someone who had given into it.

    Gwen explains, but Loren looks about exactly as moved as a rock face.

    "I don't know. It's his fault that this happened. I'm not letting him get off this easily, no matter what he says..." Loren says, folding his arms across his chest and scowling.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    "Hey, it took him a few years to find the right situation for me," Gwen says, trying to not sound too defensive. "But, I think... he has something specific in mind for you." But how is this supposed to be warning Loren at all, if she can't pinpoint the exact things?

    If only if she could remember what he said specifically...

    Loren reveals something crucial and utterly important about Solaris that Gwen must now pay attention to, however, as it deals with questions of extreme importance.

    "A codename? Like a nickname, or..." Wait. He said 'we use them'.

    ......
    Does she have a codename?
    i-is it something really cool
    she might forgive a small portion of Solaris's crimes if they gave her a cool codename
    nonono, don't ask, that would be too desperate

    She coughs, squelching her curiosity with a slouching of her own shoulders, almost mirroring Loren's posture.

    ".... I dunno.... I mean, y'gotta admit, the Stranger has a decent sense of what colors work on him. I could buy Ashansi being a fragment of that, like 'innocence', or 'hope'. A fragment might be rolled around enough in the rocky hills of his mind to become a person in their own right, maybe."

    Loren isn't moved. Gwen can do nothing but shrug. "Just tellin' you my take. I ain't sure if I should tell Lan or not, though." She frowns. "I think I will, in case she meets him and he seems equally as clueless. Better to break her heart a little outside of the Stranger's home turf, y'know?"

    Ashansi smelled like the river at night.

    Could a fragment have a smell like that?

    ".... Just take him seriously, if he's locked onto you for some reason. He makes my strength look like a limp noodle. He's also dumber than a box of rocks when it comes to booksmarts, but he's got a knack for the spiritual type of smarts."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    Somehow, Loren manages to look even less happy about that.

    "Seems like it," he says at last, shoulders slouching. "Wish you had a better idea of what, though. I don't want to die serving his ends."

    So there are ends he'd be happier dying to serve? Or...

    He fixes Gwen with a long look, as if daring her to press further on the subject of codenames. ...There's no way he can tell someone like her about something as secret as that. No way.

    "I guess I'd have to meet him. But I dunno. Sometimes, people can really surprise you." After all, just look at him. Or look at Lan, for that matter.

    But it also doesn't mean he's going to 'budge' on that particular subject. He owes 'Ashansi' a whole lot of pain, on both his and Lan's part.

    "Who knows," he sighs, shaking his head. "Maybe she'd be happy, knowing he's not gone. But I can't say she'd be happy knowing he forgot her," he adds, frowning. "...No, you're probably right. If she saw him again and didn't realize... it'd be pretty bad." To put it mildly.

    And Gwen passes along a warning.

    "Great..." Loren laments, sighing heavily. "Just what I need, someone too dumb to even remember how to die..." Shaking his head, he appears to consider all this for a long moment before, finally, turning to look over at Gwen.

    "So, is that all of it? Or is there anything else?" His contact hasn't shown up yet, but it's probably better that Gwen not be in the picture (overtly anyway) when they do. The last thing he needs are any lingering questions.

<Pose Tracker> Gwen Whitlock has posed.

    If only she could remember fully.

    "......" Gwen closes her eyes. "Dumb idea, but, maybe..." She extends one hand...

    If it 'worked' for Lan, then maybe...

    .... no.

    "Don't worry about it," she finally says, shaking her head. "You already have one set of traumatic memories in your head. Even if this worked, you're best without another set."

    Some people can definitely surprise you, though.

    Loren is a good example.

    "I hope she'll be okay with the news either way. I think I'll be able to handle it, though. I suppose it's only fair that delivering bad news be given to the person with the job title of 'courier', heh." Ashansi will be alive. That might be the best anyone could hope for.

    Loren takes the news of Ashansi's prowess in the typical Loren fashion, and Gwen chuckles. "Probably one of the things Ashansi got from me. But maybe he'll give us the clues we need."
    
    It's not until they're about to head their separate ways that Gwen turns, a spark of some unknown current inspiring her.

    "..... He said this: 'In the dark, I will come for that boy, and he will suffer as he awakens. He will cry, and he will beg, and he will rage. And I will not stop. He will struggle, and he will writhe. And I will not stop. And when he has the moment, he will do as I will, and he will think as I have once thought. And when he opens his hands, he will die.'"

    'Unless'...

    ".... That is... what he said." Gwen tips her hat to him. "Take care, Loren."

<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.

    He just watches as she stretches out her hand towards him, his gaze flitting between her and her hand.

    The expression he's wearing when she opens her eyes again is something of the 'what the hell are you doing' variety.

    Followed by a, "...Thanks?" when she says he doesn't need any more trauma in his life.

    Still, she says she'll do the business of telling Lan about what transpired. "Better you than me," he tells her. And this time, it's not just because he doesn't want to do the dirty business of telling her these things (he doesn't, and that's a fact) but because it's probably just...
    ...not a good idea for him to engage with her too much. The more they meet, the more dangerous it is for her. It's better that she stay away, before she loses everything again or even gets killed for what she managed.

    "I guess," is what he says to her, already glancing towards the alleyway entrance, as if searching for whoever might be there even if he knows it's not possible just yet. He starts to pull away, not even saying goodbye to her (some things don't change very much at all) when she says to him...

    It had been in fragments before.

    The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

    Awakens? What moment? ...Open his hands? It sounds like nonsense to him, but still. Still, he can't seem to just shake it off, either.

    "..." Loren pauses for a moment then and glances back of his shoulder.

    "Yeah. I'll try."

    And without a word or even a wave, he leaves the alleyway behind.