2022-05-12: Do Shepherds Go Through This?: Difference between revisions

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[[Category:Chapter 2]]
[[Category:Chapter 2]]
[[Category:Chapter 2, Act 4]]
[[Category:Chapter 2, Act 4]]
[[Category:(Plot) Questing the Shrines]]

Latest revision as of 05:06, 4 June 2022

  • Log: Do Shepherds Go Through This?
  • Cast: Lily Keil, Elhaym van Houten, Fei Fong Wong, Citan Uzuki
  • Where: Zulan Village
  • Date: May 12, 2022
  • Summary: Reconvening in the village after braving the trials of the ice shrine, a few members of the Wolves take a moment to talk about what they have experienced and where they might go from here.

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

As usual, Lily Keil made no complaint of the temperature. Nevertheless, she is glad to see the back of the shrine. Back in Zulan, with the fire going, a nice chair... and something to drink. It is the internal warmth that matters more than the external for the moment. And so she takes herself up on some of that. Citan can see her; she is... well, she looks like she's been through a wringer, despite her stoicism.

"...I do too," Lily agrees about ice. "I hadn't expected an emotional challenge. I'd expected more physical, or intellectual. But I guess that's the nature of the elements, too. You can't hold them at bay if you want to use them."

She's not going anywhere for now.

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

Elly didn't complain, but she is glad as shit to be out of that frost-hole.

Not that she'd put it that way.

"It's strange, isn't it? The sun shines here, too, but it's still so cold," says Elly, whose hands are at present occupied with carefully hand-crushing a mix of a green herb she picked up on the road on the way in, and some salt, which she bought in a magical place known as a 'store,' where money can be exchanged for goods. (To explain money, we must first discuss... the blockch--)

"The 'Shepherds' go through this? Do you know much about them, Lily? Dr. Uzuki?"

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Happy memories of murder and violence, Fei thinks. It's probably gotta just be Id trying to get to him, right?

He's been pretty quiet, predictably, but he doesn't seem to be suffering an anxiety attack. He just is feeling the need to feel a bit withdrawn right now. He certainly isn't going to complain about the fire's warmth though in the fire...

He just realizes, in this moment, that maybe the comfort of the flames he has grown accustomed to isn't just all a good thing. Maybe that comfort comes less from the Medium and more from... Him.

But still, a body's gotta be warm. He keeps his hands near the flame, having sat nearby so he can look inside without having to squint.

"I bet they're all going to be like that," He grumbles. "That's two for two now." He counts the fire shrine unfortunately.

<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.

    "It was certainly more, ah... trying, than I anticipated," Citan admits to Lily, shaking his head. It wasn't as if he hadn't been pursued by his own ghosts, any more than the rest of them had. Still, the past is the past...

    And it remains as ever the foundation for the future, whatever else one might think of it.

    "Still, the emotional nature of ice... I suppose it is the nature of ice to 'preserve', and there are a great many things in our pasts that we continue to cling to," he muses, reaching up a hand to fidget with his glasses. "This has given me much to consider."

    "We are unfortunately still within the snowfield! But I think with enough blankets it might be possible to endure this, for a night," he says to Elly, shaking his head with just a touch of a smile. "I suppose we shall have to see what awaits us? In any event, I would rather take my chances here than risk camping outside..."

    "You had said one or two things about that one too, as I recall," he remarks, watching Fei as he sits by the fire. Perhaps he is wondering what might be going on in his head -- he had seen, as they had all seen, a glimpse of what had come out of the shadows of Fei's own past.
    Or, rather, that's precisely what it hadn't been. It had been...

    His gaze lingers on Fei a moment more, his expression perhaps readable as nothing more than that of a pensive mood, before he then he shakes his head. "Of course, we have already witnessed for ourselves light and water."

    Elly speaks of the Shepherds and this being among their trials. "It would seem so, though... until recently, as I gather, there had not been a Shepherd for some time," is what he can tell Elly. "It appears there can only be one at a time. I wonder..."

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

The past is dead, Lily had said. And they are alive.

"We are," Lily agrees about the snowfield, though she looks to Citan for another moment, and then... to Fei. "...Memories are just memories, Fei, regardless of how they're presented. We choose what to do with them, in the present and in the future. That's what matters."

"I don't mind camping, but a good inn is nice, and this one is one. I don't mind an actual bed."

Ice...

"Ice, light, and water. Maybe the others will be like that," she admits to Fei. "But it's worth it to me. I need this power to protect..." Pause. "Well, to protect all of you," she admits, as she thinks about it. "And you'd do the same for me."

"There's supposedly two Shepherds now," Lily says. "Though I haven't heard much news of either. This 'spiritual power' they need... Well, it'll do us as much good, I'm sure."

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

Elly begins putting the fish fillets on sticks, which is an operation she mastered easily. It just sort of came to her after a couple of false starts, which fortunately made for good stew. There are four of these fish sides, which should at least be something to put in your stomach.

"I suppose emotional fortitude is important for the Shepherd," Elly says, the 'the' seeming correct at this point. "Or Shepherds..."

"Do you think it's something quantifiable, Lily?" Elly asks her, while sliding a little closer to Fei. And a liiiittle closer.

"... thinking about it now... I'm really embarrassed by what the trial showed me."

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

"I really hope the Fiends get what they want out of all this." Fei says. He knows they want to see Althena but to what end is that really going to serve? He's not sure they're going to get what they really want out of that experience.

His eyes flit towards Lily as she speaks of memories. "Yeah--" He says. "Yeah I know."

He scootches closer to Elly instinctively. At this point it happens automatically. "If it's helping you get power, then it's worth it--hopefully, well..."

He's relieved to have the chance to talk about someone else's spooky memories. "I'm uh--are you okay?" He asks.

"I mean. You know, I know it's been a long time."

He's honestly glad she has a good enough memory of her father to be tempted by such a thing, as awkward as it would be to actually say that.

<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.

    Alive, in spite of the odds.

    "So, there are two of them? How interesting. Had you ever chanced to meet them, then?" It doesn't appear to be common knowledge, by any means -- insofar as he's been able to tease out the particulars of the Althenian beliefs just yet. Asking too many highly specific questions particularly with regards to religion does not... tend to cause those he's interviewing to present overmuch faith in his intentions, perhaps he might say. And while the literature has been illuminating, he knows that what is written is not always what a religion practices.

    And so it goes.

    "I wonder if many others ever attempt these trials, or if it is only those who possess or seek the title of Shepherd." He leans back in his seat, gazing up at the ceiling for a moment. "Hmm... the Dragonmaster, and the Shepherd. They are quite important figures in the faith. ...I hope we are not being 'blasphemous' as such?"

    Of course, they're already planning to blackmail the church, after a fashion, so perhaps 'blasphemy' from treading on sacred rites might be the least of their concern.

    "Indeed! I am not against 'roughing it', as you would, but I would rather avoid doing so in a snowfield." He's a doctor. He could tell them all about the dangers of hypothermia, or even frostbite (Lily, given her specialities, probably already even has a working understanding of these things...).

    Lily reiterates her rationale for treading this path. "...Yes, you had mentioned as much. For the rest of us, it may be illuminating, if we are aiming to truly subvert the church." Potential blasphemy or not.

    "...Oh? Is that so, Elly?"

    Elly may find that the spotlight is now on her. Does this help with her feelings of embarrassment (probably not)?

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Mmm fish.

"Yeah... When you put it that way, it makes sense. Malevolence thrives on emotional instability, and the Shepherd's main purpose is dealing with Malevolence. This could harden us against that, too." A shake of her head to Citan. "I've met one, but it was a long while ago; I don't know what he's up to these days." She pauses. "...Well, if we were being blasphemous, the Seraphim wouldn't be welcoming us into the trials, I think. So it's probably fine."

Pause. "Probably."

"I hope so too," Lily says of the Fiends. "...And I know you know, but you don't have to 'know' it alone." She watches Elly and Fei scoot closer to each other. She doesn't smile, because that would draw attention to it and them, but it's good to see. But--Quantifiable... Lily considers that. "We can quantify anything if we can just figure out a metric," she says. "But I do think in this case it can have a measurable impact on our abilities. I understand Ice better now, even if the Blessing isn't giving me power like it would Hiro or the others."

Lily knows frostbite and such fairly well! Not that she has to worry about it much herself, but her soldiers traditionally have not had her powers. At all. "True. Knowledge alone is worthwhile. Then she considers. "Do you want to talk about it?" she offers Elly. "...I'm willing to share about mine, if it would make you more comfortable. But I'm willing to just listen, too."

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

Elly leans forwards to build a lattice with the skewered fish and some other pieces of wood near the bonfire. The radiant heat makes the herbs seem to fill the air with their scent - Elly adjusts them slightly, perhaps so they won't have to wait for a full leisurely roasting. After all, they have to go to bed at some point.

Elly smiles at Fei.

There are the topics of the Shepherd to contend with. To consider about. ("I suppose it's not our faith, and the Seraphs don't seem to mind," Elly remarks at Citan's concern.)

She then takes a deep breath and lets it out.

"Well," Elly says, as the focus seems to rest on her. Her head tilts downwards.

"..."

"When we have moments like this, it seems as if other people... see something that hurt them, something that connected to their lives. Before they became Drifters, sometimes long long ago. I know it's not the first time we've run into, um, we said 'psychogenic effects' in Gebler, before I left - I wonder sometimes, because Miss Hawwa found these training exercises that helped people visualize Malevolence, and..."

Elly shifts herself.

"... Everyone saw something they longed for," Elly says. "Or that hurt them. And there, standing plain and proud, out there for everybody to see - though I suppose none of you except Dr. Uzuki would have recognized it - it -"

Elly brings up her hands. "It... That thing in the block of ice... that temptation, that *I hesitated over*..."

She buries her face in her hands.

".... it was..."

        "... my in-suite shower..."
        "The one I had in my room, when I still lived with my father...!!"

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei is inclined to let Elly speak about it. He feels like he talks about his own problems enough as it is. Other people could use a kind ear from time to time as it is.

A strange flicker. "Miss Hawwa...?"

The strange feeling passes almost immediately. Fei forgets about it immediately after. It's pushed down and away and out of sight and mind.

Fei ... was thinking of the hellion pretending to be her dad rather than the shower but--

His face turns bright red.

"Ah...I...uh."

He's at a loss. "You know I think I'll get some grub for everyone. Anybody want anything?"

<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.

    "Indeed, you are right. Even 'ancient history' can be weaponized in such circumstances. Is it not said that one who does not know themselves -- or their enemy, to quote the saying completely -- is destined to be defeated in every battle? It is important to know one's own weaknesses. Hm, even I..."

    He doesn't finish the sentence, instead looking Lily's way. "I see. So you met at least one of them. I shall have to do more investigating, it seems. ...And yes," he says, smiling, if sheepishly. "I would hope that would not be the case!"

    He nods, when Lily expounds further. "Yes, and what's more... this," he produces the ice gem they obtained from the shrine's caretaker, "is most certainly of interest, even without any other blessings we might obtain. Even the information into our own character and bonds is of use."

    "Yes, that is indeed true," he remarks, creasing his forehead as Elly speaks of 'Miss Hawwa'. "...Is that so? I wonder what they have come to think of Malevolence and the like, these days. But please, go on."

    Elly does.

    Through some miracle, Citan somehow -- somehow -- maintains a straight face as Elly explains precisely what it was that she had found so embarrassing about one particular encounter deep within the shrine. It was--

    "Ah, I had thought it seemed familiar," he remarks, rather mildly.
    ...He's maintained a straight face, but one look in his eyes will reveal the terrible truth: he is restraining himself from laughing.

    "Why-- yes, that would be a good idea," he tells Fei, readjusting his glasses as if to thereby regain his (internal) composure.

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Elly mentions moments like this, and how she's seen them before. Lily recalls she saw things like she describes. She wonders about these 'exercises' but only idly. Instead, Elly continues, and... She...

"...Ahahahahaha," Lily reacts, laughing before she realizes what she's doing. Her tension, her hurt, they melt a little in pure laughter that gets harder when Fei turns bright red. "Ahahah," she answers Fei's call for grub. "Yes," she manages eventually, "The gem is probably important. It's all useful."

"...But sure, Fei. I'll take whatever you find."

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

Fei is uncomfortable. Dr. Uzuki is trying not to laugh. Lily is laughing. Elly hugs her knees a little. "Well," Elly says, "the fish should be safe to eat in a little while... it's going to be dry, though, since I had to do it this way." Namely, on sticks, propped up near the fire for pan roasting.

Elly has used flash fire in the past. PRO TIP: This works great on fatty cuts of meat like beef and hobgob, not great on fish.
"..."

"I know it's ridiculous and I'll admit I brought it up for that reason," Elly continues, hugging her knees more tightly, "but I suppose I worry about what it says about me... deep down."

"... But yes, the gem," Elly says. "Do you think it's going to be some kind of key or proof?"

<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.

    He clears his throat after a moment, perhaps at last besting his reaction to the tale that Elly had just confessed to them regarding and once more fidgets with his glasses. "...In truth," he says at last, straightening there by the fire, "I believe that all it says about you is that you miss old 'creature comforts'. I do not think such a longing is uncommon. Why, I miss my old bathtub!" He glances at her, sidelong, and nearly smiles. "...And to tell you the truth, the thing that I saw that I missed the most there was little more than my old medical manual. I could obtain a new one if I chose. But it is less about the information within it than what it signified."

    Once, there had been days when the most he had to concern himself with had been the health of the villagers of Lahan. Even back then, he'd recognized that period for what it was.

    "...Ah, yes, the gem. I suspect it may possess some power within it -- nothing rare or unique, of course, but that is not to say it is worthless. Rather... perhaps it was once the way of things in this world for those walking the path of the Shepherd to claim such things. I wonder if other shrines might possess similar tokens."

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei Fong Wong glances to Elly, "Well--I'll see about drinks then, and maybe some small snacks to supplement the fish." You can't live off of fish after all! Right? Right??

He steps away for a bit to handle this, getting water and such, though he's still in earshot.

He's calming down about the shower it kinda took him by surprise. "A good shower's a nice comfort. Maybe we could try to set one up on the ship? Talk to Hammer about it maybe..."

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Lily calms herself eventually. The fish will be great. But she's also tried flash fire on them. It... resulted in something technically edible.

"It doesn't," Lily agrees with Citan. "Or rather... You had a very comfortbale life where you came from, didn't you? Even the little things are more difficult now. It makes sense that you'd miss those comforts. And what we saw was 'comforts'--Remember, I saw a childhood doll I burned a long time ago. I'm not even sure why it was that one; that's hardly the only one I destroyed, or had."

"A child's toy..." She shakes her head.

"I think I'd rather have the en suite shower."

"I guess we'll have to find out," she says of other tokens. "But we should definitely hang onto it. I can study it, for one." Then she nods to Fei as he comes back. "True. That's not a bad idea." Then she reaches out to take one of the drinks! She did not ask for water.

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

Other fish sometimes do...

But they aren't fish.

Maybe Franz.

"Mm," Elly says. "Well... I don't want to put him through all of the effort... and I don't, I mean, I can tell you about it if you'd like, but I'd rather not dwell..."

"Did you have the massage tub?" Elly asks Citan then, before blinking. "Yes," she says, unfolding herself a little, shifting to set back down as she did instead of hugging her knees in embarrassment. She also reaches up to collect her own usual beverage (mid-grade beer, because that's one thing the surface has that Solaris didn't).

After considering Lily's own thoughts for a moment, she says, "But if these are tokens, like on a pilgrimage, who would the Shepherd need to show them to?"

<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.

    "An improvement on the facilities aboard the ship might not be such a terrible idea, as a matter of fact," Citan remarks. "It was built for functionality over all else, but considering we do end up living aboard it from time to time..." He spreads out his hands, as if to say it's worth consideration, at any rate. "And knowing Hammer, he might well be interested."

    Insofar as he's noticed he has an apparent drive to prove himself at every turn, that is.

    "The... massage tub?" He seems a little taken aback, of all things. "No, well... I was speaking of my bathtub in Lahan. Though..."
    Perhaps that's not terribly unappealing as a proposal after a day of such exertions in the cold, though.

    He, also, isn't adverse to a beer, all considering the day they've left behind them.

    "Yes, if you would like, Lily, I shall give it over to you. You may be able to learn more from it than I can." After all, her talents in that particular direction -- as well as her drive -- stretch far deeper than his can reach. Or might ever reach, from what he's seen.

    "That is a good question," he says, to Elly's musing. "Perhaps... the Goddess herself. Though, it is said that until recently, the Goddess had withdrawn utterly from the world. Might another have taken the role of guiding new Shepherds? If it were not the former Shepherd, and if even the role of Dragonmaster was vacant until recently, however, I do not know who that might be. Perhaps our Seraphim friends might know more of it."

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei says, "Oh that's fine." He didn't bring alcoholic beverages but if someone asked for something like OJ he'd happily supply some. That's what he's having anyway, nice delicious OJ. Also he brought a plate of sausages.

"To be honest, maybe it's just me, but I don't think I know any particularly, uh, devout Seraphim." He gives a small nod to Citan. "Maybe it's because she's been missing for so long that they just sort of started doing things their own way. Or maybe there's some kind of Boss Seraphim?"

If there's an answer to this, Fei is as clueless as anyone else.

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Who would the Shepherd need to show them to? That's a good question. But there are a few of those, and Lily thinks of each in turn. "Can't say I'd mind," she says of improving the facilities. She hasn't owned a bathtub in--well, a rather long time. She accepts the OJ though. It's fine. OJ is good.

"Hmmm." Lily shakes her head. "According to the histories, the Goddess has been gone for longer than the Shepherd has existed as a role. It only came about relatively recently in Lunarian history." Pause. "I read a lot about it in Vane."

"Maybe they would know. ...And that's... true," she admits to Fei. "The most devout, spiritual Seraphim I know is Seraph Lanval, and he's on the outs with the Goddess's people for sure."

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

A frothy mug of water it is!

"Oh," Elly says, about the question of the tub.

More embarrassment. "It's -- I mean, I don't know if it would even be possible to reproduce all of the features, but it was nice to be sprayed from a few different angles as well as the different temperatures... I don't know if it's the same in the men's washroom," Elly tells Fei, "but in the women's washroom it's just a stall with a tap and a -- what do you call it -- watering can, no, the head at the top. It's very nice, but it's very simple too!"

The fish sizzles faintly. "... Maybe there is a supervisor," Elly says. "But if someone was to be that close to the goddess, how could they stay secret? There's the four champions the Guard has, and -- oh; maybe this is a 'boss Seraph'," Elly says. "A Seraph would find it very easy to conceal themselves, wouldn't they!"

"Perhaps the Shepherd used to be something else?" Elly proposes. "At this point, though, I'm just guessing..."

<Pose Tracker> Elhaym van Houten has posed.

Elly also picks up one of the sausages, despite the risk of finger-grease. That's rustic cooking for you!

<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.

    Or maybe he'll just have to content himself with water!

    "Oh, I see..." He rubs at his chin thoughtfully. "So it is far more recent as a role than the Goddess' retreat. I had thought that it had seemed strange that no one had mentioned..." He trails off.

    Citan nods all the same though not more than a moment later. "Perhaps a visit to Vane would be helpful. It is not, ah... easy to learn the particulars of the faith by questions alone. Not without drawing attention to me, that is. What is more, many of the books appear to be in omission of various details. For instance, what was it that had led to Althena's retreat...? Was it merely the attack by the Vile Tribe as the histories suggest? I wonder if the books in Vane might provide greater insight."

    It wouldn't be the first time that history had been rewritten, by his reckoning.

    "Perhaps," he remarks, to Elly's question. "I must admit, I know very little of their society and history. With the length of time some of their number have existed, however..." He's settled back in his seat, pensive.

    "...Yet, would they be willing to speak to 'humans'?"