2023-03-14: The Fate of the Fayth
- Log: 2023-03-14: The Fate of the Fayth
- Cast: Yuna, Pearl
- Where: Inside Sin
- Date: March 13, 2023
- Summary: Yuna comes to Pearl to answer a question and make a heavy request, Summoner to Summoner.
<Pose Tracker> Yuna has posed.
The base camp inside Sin is no less gloomy than the rest of the environs; there is a chilly fog; there are flickering Yevonite runes; there are stone surfaces. The presence of friends can only lighten the mood so much -- there is a continuous sense of being watched, or at least of being an intruder, in the same way a gallstone might feel if it were sentient.
Someone has conjured a fire.
Yuna is walking the perimeter, seeking out--
--"Pearl," she says, upon finding her quarry.
Yuna looks tired, which is to say she doesn't look tired at all; she looks unreasonably fine for a person who just battled their way into Sin and then settled accounts with their nemesis. There are two possible explanations for this disjunction: either she is so driven, so totally focused on her ultimate goal, that she can't even feel fatigue, and won't until it's all over; or she is faking it, because that's what summoners do, and even a heretic like her falls back on old habits in times of stress.
Or both.
Pearl knew her much earlier in her journey; she was always a very determined and forthright person, but the last of the uncertainty, the hesitation, was sieved out of her long ago. What's left behind has only memories of feeling that way. So she doesn't twist her fingers awkwardly, or stammer. Even her silence is short, though it does exist.
"We should talk," she says. She does not shiver, but if Pearl looks closely, she might see goosebumps; Yuna is cold. "Would you please join me by the fire?"
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
The sound of her name being called breaks the former assassin from her watch. She was used to operating on little rest, watching for enemies... or targets. It was easy work for one such as her.
"Lady Yuna." She replies, with a nod. Titles were a hard thing for her to drop. She observes the Summoner of Besaid, and hears her request. Pearl's response is a simple nod.
"Very well," she says and turns back toward the camp. Others can take the watch from here. She has her suspicions on the topic but... She will let Yuna broach it, in case she is wrong.
<Pose Tracker> Yuna has posed.
"Thank you."
Yuna doesn't waste her breath imploring Pearl to drop the title. She gave up on that about ten thousand people ago. She is Lady Yuna to so many, even though she's only ever felt like Yuna, just Yuna. If she knew that even after all this time Pearl associated her with the Isle of Besaid, though, that would bring a soft smile to her face.
But she isn't smiling now. There is a serenity to her, but still waters run extremely goddamn deep with Yuna, and anything could be going on under the surface. She does seem to relax, slightly, once they're seated at the fire. She loses time gazing into the crackling, undulating flames; it seems more like a reverie of memory than of thought. A moment later, she catches herself, shakes her head, and looks over at the other summoner.
"On the Fahrenheit, you asked what would happen... at the end. I could tell you that I don't know, and it would be the truth, but it wouldn't be the whole truth. But... it is hard." Her voice cuts off a little too sharply; she is swallowing an emotion. Once her voice is controlled again, she asks, with a solemn consideration of the other girl and her preferences, "Would you like only my certainty? Or would you like my speculation?"
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
The flame does little for Pearl, the red thread in the sleeve of her robes providing the heat she needs. But she can see the way her body shifts, relaxing.
Pearl is silent for a few moments to the question. She considers it, mulling it over in her mind, before she comes to her answer. "If you would share them, I would hear all your thoughts. It would not do to go into this battle ill prepared."
Having said that, however, Pearl's stance softens, even if her face does not. The other woman has said it will be difficult. It seems obvious at will. "Please do so at your own pace. Do not force the words for my sake."
<Pose Tracker> Yuna has posed.
It isn't the heat of the fire that Yuna needed.
She waits, patiently. As a creature of many thoughtful silences herself, she appreciates when others take the time to think before they speak.
"Thank you for thinking of my feelings," she murmurs in response. "But it isn't necessary. This is too important..."
She trails off and listens to the crackling of the firewood. There wasn't any to gather, of course. But they've been packing their own kits for a long time now. She and her Guardians can camp anywhere, and have. Jungles to tundra to wastelands and everything in between.
"As you know, the fayth are very old," she begins, at last. "I mean, there's a range -- the fayth at Baaj has only been dead for ten years. The oldest, which predate the Great War, are over a thousand years. The fayth at Bikanel is somewhere in between. Most of them are. They became fayth after Sin, and because of Sin. Their watch has stood hundreds of years, not thousands. But still... a very long time."
Then, incongruously, she recalls the battle that only ended a few hours ago.
"Do you remember what the seraph Boudicca said to Seymour, at the end? 'You can't hide in your statue forever...'"
She looks over at Pearl again, looks her dead in the eye.
"The fayth are not hiding. But they are trapped in statues, all the same."
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Yuna's words elicit a small narrowing of Pearl's eyes. If it is so important, it deserves her entire focus. So she listens. Pearl had never undegone the trials, or a pilgrimage. She had only ever encountered one of the Fayth, not the many Yuna had-
Pearl raises a hand to touch the emblem on the front o her robes, as she considers the implications. If one cannot hide in a statue forever, and the Fayth are trapped-
"You intend to free them from their prisons, am I correct?" Her cold grey eyes meet Yuna's green and blue. A thought comes to mind, cold and saddening. And yet... "But once they are free, is there a place for them to go?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuna has posed.
"On," Yuna says simply, sympathetically, and sadly.
She pauses, in case the other summoner needs a second to grapple with this confirmation. Or a minute. Or a day. In a way, Pearl's lack of immersion in the fayth, both the study and the practice, might make it easier for her. It took Yuna weeks to come to grips with the magnitude of what she's been asked to do. And she hasn't really, she cannot. Perhaps not ever. Even just the single word is as liquid with grief as her eyes, though she does not cry.
One can only imagine what it's been like inside her soul, since the day she was asked to do this. One can only imagine what it's like right now, during this very conversation. Pearl is gazing at Yuna but there are fourteen people gazing back. And they look very old; and they look very tired; and, though of course, it is filtered through Yuna's caring spirit, they look very concerned. Two of them, at least.
Gently, Yuna waits.
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Pearl had only ever communed with one fayth. They were the companion of her soul- a part of her that she had always lacked and never knew. A part of her that let her strive to freedom.
That part of her is also part of Yuna, the woman standing across from her. Fourteen people stare back through those eyes, and one of them can see themselves reflected. The weight of the old sailor's long imprisonment bears on her.
"On." Pearl repeats, quietly, saying the word with the weight of a planet. That is what it will mean. Spira will forever change in more ways than one. Pillars of the world will break. Old ways- new ways to her- will die out. She will walk forward without her soul companion to carry her forward.
But she too has sought freedom at any cost. Victory at any cost. She found hers. And now she will help another find it. After all, the Lord of All Waters slew the monster that imprisoned her. It is only right she do the same for them.
The freedom of an ending is still freedom.
"I shall walk this path with you, if you will have me." Her voice wavers- a rarity for the woman with few emotions she can show. There is moisture in her own eyes, something she does not know when she last experienced. Even if she hasn't remembered how to shed tears yet, she will see this farewell to it's conclusion.
"This is a rest long overdue."'
<Pose Tracker> Yuna has posed.
Yuna watches Pearl like she's looking in the mirror. She is not relieved by the other girl's acceptance. Her heart is breaking all over again, watching her.
Though it was long ago, now, she knows very well indeed what it is like to only have one aeon.
She knows the intimacy; the irreplaceable closeness; of having one true companion of the soul.
"Yes," she agrees. Long overdue.
"The fayth have each asked me to summon their aeons, to be possessed by Yu Yevon and then destroyed, which will, when there are no aeons left, expose Yu Yevon, to also be destroyed. And then for me to Send them, as without the aeon they will be free to pass on, and they do not wish to become fiends."
For the first time, she hesitates in truth. She struggles to collect herself enough that the silence drags out.
"But... your role on this road is even harder. I do not envy you, and I am truly sorry to ask it of you. But it is the one thing I cannot do. Not because I will not, but because it is impossible. Everything I have... everything I am... will be in the summoning, and then in the Sending."
The tears are in her voice, if not on her face.
She folds her hands in her lap and bows deeply, in request.
"Pearl... Bikanel's aeon. And all the others. The fayth feel it even more than we do, when they get hurt. And they will not be themselves, which is even more painful, after their many long lifetimes resisting Yu Yevon and Sin; they will be enslaved, and the seed of the next Sin, and the next, and the next. If being a fayth is a fate worse than death, then being violated in this way, even temporarily..."
She shakes her head, unable to go on down that track.
"Please... please. I know that you originally came to study summoning as a spy, as a servant of death. Yet... that also means that... in a way, you are uniquely qualified because of your past, to... bestow upon the fayth an act of true compassion... Please, will you help them pass swiftly?"
<Pose Tracker> Pearl has posed.
Pearl is silent longer, closing her eyes. Listening to the plan. The plan they had all this time. "...I wonder how many they have asked? Or if you were the first."
Leviathan had never told her of this- did they think her not capable- or was it simply not her place? She was not a part of Spira. The first Summoner ever not from Yevon.
And if they succeed, also the last and only.
"...I could bear the weight of Leviathan for you, if you wish it." The statement is a hard one but... "I may be only a novice summoner compared to you, but if it would ease the burden of this role I would do it."
And then Yuna bows to her, and Pearl's eyes soften. "...Yuna." She responds, her voice with it's distressing stability. "I don't know how much you know of me, but I have spent most of my life with my life in thrall to another. I was controlled by violence, until my eyes could not see any other options. When I saw a spark of hope, it would be snuffed out in front of me." She takes a pause. "But when I was Ena, I was exposed to light from unexpected places. But even then the darkness clouded all, the pain kept from following that light."
She takes a long moment to breathe. "I came not to study summoning, simply to kill Seymour. But when I was made to commune with the fayth I was scared away. Scared by something not the source of my pain. In Leviathan, I saw a spark of hope that was worth the risk of death- or worse- that awaited. Had we not killed my master, I know what awaited me. A fate worse than death. But it was worth the risk for freedom from the claws he had in my heart and soul."
She looks determinedly at Yuna. "The Fayth see that spark in you. I think they feel what I once did. As horrible as it may be, their freedom and a world free of Sin is worth the risk. The fayth know they will suffer- but they have chosen this suffering for it is better than the alternative."
Pearl pauses again, wondering now if she has rambled off course. "If that is how you wish me to provide my aid, I shall. You may think I do this lightly but... I know their desperation, and would do all I can to have it bear fruit." She looks down now at her hands. "Even if the cost is terrible, it is the path they- and you- have chosen."
<Pose Tracker> Yuna has posed.
"I am sure we are the first," Yuna answers first, because it's the easiest. Which is really saying something, because deep within her she is profoundly distressed on this point, like a bird breaking her wings on a cage. "The first time any of this could have gotten to this point; the first time the chance could even exist. Because of Jecht. And Tidus."
She does not elaborate further; it is not what is important just now. She listens, first to the offer and then to the story, straightening up to attend with the full weight of her attention. It is a heavy burden -- Yuna is a great listener, silent but enthralled, nodding and shaking her head and flinching in all the right places, as though to hear Pearl's words is to experience her life, at least in some small way.
It is obvious that Yuna finds Pearl's journey deeply moving.
But as for the offer, she shakes her head with grave dignity. "It is not a matter of experience. If I could spare you the act of destroying Leviathan, I would. But... I cannot. I know in my heart that this is my duty. And I also know that the fayth at Bikanel, they will be glad -- they are glad -- it is you, striking them down... and I could not deny them that, either. It is with the, the opposite of lightness that I asked and you accepted. I am both honored by and grateful for your willingness to grant the aeons mercy. Thank you, truly."
She bows again.
"But there is one thing I may be able to bring you solace about. And that is... the place from which their request came."
The campfire burning behind her -- listen to her story, this may be her last chance -- Yuna shades in the picture considerably. Sometimes she speaks quickly and sometimes slowly, but always with great intensity.
"Fayth aren't fiends," she continues. "I would never deny them the agency of their choice to sacrifice themselves BY BECOMING FAYTH, to inhabit those statues in the first place, by forcing them out. Though I also think that 'free will' has a different meaning in context. When death is inevitable, choosing to use your death, to manage its timing and details carefully, in order to save others... is that really consent? The path of the high summoner is not voluntary ritual suicide. It is two more murders at the hands of Yu Yevon."
She is, perhaps, more qualified than anyone else alive to speak on this matter. The others are all dead, because they are fayth, or because they were killed by their beloved who became fayth.
"I had to be sure... that that was what the fayth all wanted. It's easy for the fayth at Bevelle to propose such a plan -- he is the oldest, and so for him to see the final rest as freedom is understandable. But, I told myself, what of the others? What if they aren't ready?"
She shakes her head.
"I took a second pilgrimage. I visited each and every one of them, to meditate and to consult. I wanted to make sure... that I hadn't misunderstood. And they are united in their desire to... they call it waking up from their long dream. Their... nightmare. They have been in service, in battle, even just in simple existence, for so long. So much longer than they wanted to endure. Than anyone could endure."
She doesn't quite smile, but her expression is a little bit crooked. Not with self-deprecation but with self-knowledge. It passes quickly, though, and back to a deeper sadness.
"I told myself I was journeying for them. But of course it was really for me... of course, deep down, I had hoped that one of them, that all of them, would tell me otherwise. That they wanted to stay. That they weren't ready. But... they are. They truly are. So... do not think it a cruel sacrifice, a terrible cost to pay, in order to end Sin forever. It truly is mercy. The fayth, they are the ones who have paid, all this time, for the survival of Spira, in the currency of their very souls. And they feel... they have paid long enough. I cannot disagree."
She takes a breath.
"But... they are my best friends. My family. As they," in the singular, "Are yours. I am truly glad that the fayth at Bikanel gave you the hope you needed to break free. And I am... truly sorry for what they have asked me to do. It is easy to say we should be glad for them, in what's to come. But it is... hard to... live that truth, every day, when what I feel, as a person, is the opposite. So, after... if you ever need someone to talk to... to remember..."
She looks at Pearl with earnest, forthright clarity.
"I will always be here. And I will never forget what you have done for them."