Main Page/gacha meme
You may have heard of gacha games. Maybe your bank account has. Maybe your tears have. We won't tell you to play them, because we are not human monsters.
But we can pretend.
The Rules
In the categories below, fill out the following information for your character. Characters can be drawn at rarities ranging from three to five stars (with some Bystanders and random NPCs getting one or two stars). A ★★★ draw is a common; a ★★★★ is a super rare; a ★★★★★ draw is a super-rare one.
Feel free to make up wacky alternate rare five-star draws, such as ★★★★★ Wielder of the Dark Shovel Beachzamber, Siegfried. Or add a blurb (but that might be the +finger profile)!
★★★ <character title>, <character name> ★★★★ <character title>, <character name> ★★★★★ <character title>, <character name>
Drifters
Gwen Whitlock
★★★ Super Courier, Gwen Whitlock
★★★★ Full Metal Courier, Gwen Whitlock
★★★★★ Cybernetic Terrorist, Hwen Hwitlock
Leon Albus
★★★ Serious Captain, Leon Albus
★★★★ Infamous Mercenary, Leon Albus
★★★★★ The Black Wolf, Leon Albus
★★★★★ Princess of Hyland, Leon Albus
★★★★★ Beach Heartthrob, Leon 'Boy Band' Albus
Fei Fong Wong
★★★ Martial Artist, Fei Fong Wong
★★★★ The Contact, Fei Fong Wong
★★★★★ The Wolf Who Bares His Fangs At God, Fei Fong Wong
★★★★★ Kim's, Fei
★★★★★ Shirtless, Fei
Id
★★★ Some Asshole, Id
★★★★ Destroyer, Id
★★★★★ The Demon of Elru, Id
★★★★★ Death Waitress Fan, Id
Lydia Seren
★★★ Star Shaman, Lydia Seren
★★★★ The Freefall Star, Lydia Seren
★★★★★ LOCKED
★★★★★ Asteroid-Headed, Lydia Seren
Riesenlied
★★★ Tainted Outcast, Riesenlied
★★★★ Metal Demon Commander, Riesenlied
★★★★★ The Heart of Wayside, Riesenlied
Maya Schrodinger
★★ Moe Bookworm, Maya Schrodinger
★★★ The Gunslinging Heroine, Maya Schrodinger
★★★★ The Copyright-Infringing Sorceress, Maya Schrodinger
★★★★★ ULTRA-SSR SEASONAL ONLY Unlimited Mimic Works Maya
Noeline
★★★ Metal Demon Spy, Noeline
★★★★ Mysterious Crimson Noble, Noeline Carver
★★★★★ Wayside Second, Noeline Carver
★★★★★ Crimson Noble Ascendent, Noeline Blackflame Carver
Shalune Amira
★★ Intuitive Mechanic, Shalune Amira
★★★★ Friend To All Children, Big Shal
★★★★★ Starfall Saloon Waitress, Shalune Amira
Alisha Diphda
★★★ Princess Knight, Alisha Diphda
★★★★ Loyal Squire, Alisha Diphda
★★★★★ Earth Shaking Armatization, Alisha Diphda
★★★★★ Aquatic Archery Armatization, Alisha Diphda
★★★★★ Stolen Winds Armatization, Alisha Diphda
★★★★★ Fiery Oaths Armatization, Alisha Diphda
Zed
★★ Chuuni Emperor Zettou
★★★★ Manic Swordsman, Zed
★★★★ HALLOWEEN 2017 ONLY Cosplay Aidoru, Zed
★★★★ HALLOWEEN 2018 ONLY Dark Questing Hero, Zed
★★★★ HALLOWEEN 2019 ONLY Zedder Robo Dragon
★★★★ HALLOWEEN 2019 ONLY Zedder Robo Liger
★★★★ HALLOWEEN 2019 ONLY Zedder Robo PoZeddon
★★★★★ Shin Zedder Robo
★★★★★ Sword Savior, Dark Hero Zed
Rosaline Calice
★★★ Timid Nun, Rosaline Calice
★★★★ Etone-in-Training, Rosaline Calice
★★★★★ Miracle Gunner, Rosaline Calice
★★★★★ The Beast Unleashed, Rosaline Calice
★★★★★ Bloody Bride, Rosaline Calice (Special event alternate)
Carina Wynne
★★★ Wake Up! A Hero, Metal Digger Locus
★★★★ Living in the Armor Zone, Metal Digger Locus
★★★★★ Show Me Your Cosmic Mind, Metal Digger Locus
★★★★★ Round Zero - Blade Brave, Crimson Knight Locus
Ethius Hesiod
★★★ Technology Hunter, Ethius Hesiod
★★★★ (SPOILERS), Ethius Hesiod
★★★★★ (REDACTED), Ethius Hesiod
★★★★★ ULTRA-SSR WORLD CUP 2020 ONLY (CENSORED), Ethius Hesiod
Seraph Lanval
★★ Freeloader Drunkard, Seraph Lanval
★★ Loitering Layabout, Seraph Lanval
★★ Unworldly Buffoon, Seraph Lanval
★★ Annoying Hanger-On, Seraph Lanval
★★★★ Lord of the Land, Seraph Lanval
★★★★★ (still all spoiler-locked), Seraph Lanval
Sephilia Lampbright
★★★ Doll User, Sephilia Lampbright
★★★★ Explorer's Daughter, Sephilia Lampbright
★★★★★ Legendary Explorer, Sephilia Lampbright
★★★★★ Halloween Special Chauncey's Puppet, Sephilia Lampbright
Kourin
★★★ Former Guard, Kourin
★★★★ Icehand, Kourin
★★★★★ Althena's Guard, Kourin
Jacqueline Barber
★★ Mild-Mannered Merchant, Jacqueline Barber
★★★ Proprietor of Potions, Jacqueline Barber
★★★★ Crest Sorceress, Jacqueline Barber
★★★★★ Caravan Leader, Jacqueline Barber
★★★★★ More Gella No Problems, Jacqueline Barber
Layna Manydays
★★★ Buccaneer Brawler, Layna Manydays
★★★★ Captain of the Ruby Empress, Layna Manydays
★★★★★ Pirate Queen, Layna Manydays
★★★★★ Infamous Pirate Captain of Legend Aifread(?), Layna Manydays
★★★★★ Massive Pirate Gear, VALS-4 Corsair
Talise Gianfair
★★★ Brave Bladesinger, Talise Gianfair
★★★★ Forsaken Songstress, Talise Gianfair
★★★★★ Unmagical Lyrical Girl, Talise Gianfair
★★★★★ The Hero Filgaia Needs, Lady Chloe Alexandre
★★★★★ Mechanical Dragonmaster, Alexander
Catenna
★★★ Celesdue's Priestess, Catenna
★★★★ Lunar Shaman, Catenna
★★★★★ Perpetually Lighted Crescent, Catenna
★★★★★ The Moon Owlet's Guardian, Catenna
★★★★★ Magical Moon-Moon Nekomimi, Kittynya
Xantia
★★★ Wandering Weirdo, Xantia
★★★★ Memory Seeker, Xantia
★★★★ Defender Of The Universe (In Training), Mystery Hero X (Event alternate)
★★★★★ (absent, running gag is that the devs forgot to add it due to amnesia)
★★★★★ The Only One Who Actually Eats Christmas Fruitcakes, Xantia (Seasonal)
Antagonists
Siegfried
★★★ Quarter Knight, Siegfried
★★★★ Azure Knight, Siegfried
★★★★★ Wielder of Glumzambor, Siegfried
★★★★★ Wielder of the Dark Shovel Beachzamber, Siegfried (Alternate)
Yarobeleedt
★★★★ Soap-Stuffed Halitosis-Free Palette Swap, Rabendarbeleedt
★★★ Advance Scout, Yarobeleedt
★★1/2 Owlbear War 'Horse', Yarobeleedt
★★ Slug-Serpent-Thing, Yarobeleedt
★ Cowering Blanket Holder, Yarobeleedt
(no stars) Mr. Garbles, Yarobeleedt
-★★★★★★★★★ Otome Game Dream Date, Yarobeleedt
Rosaline Calice
★★★ Powerful Nekomancer, Rosaline Calice
★★★★ Mourning Nekomata, Rosaline Calice
★★★★★ Conspicuously absent from the current banner's drop table
Ambrosius
★★★ History Nerd, Ambrosius
★★★★ Avid Anthropologist, Ambrosius
★★★★★ Imposing Alien Soldier, Ambrosius
★★★★★ Dance Water Dance, Ambrosius
★★★★★ Veruni Golem, Nimue
Neriah Parringer
★★★ Unexplained Girl, Neriah Parringer
★★★★ Mysterious Darkness, Neriah Parringer
★★★★★ Valmar's Child, NUMBER EIGHT
★★★★★ Darkness Unbound, Neriah Parringer
★★★★★ Faceless Abjurer, Sister Domitia
Malfi
★★★ Pokémon Ripoff, Malfi
★★★ End-of-Game Promo: Shaaaameless Zaura Shipper, Malfi
★★★ Still a Newbie, Malfi
★★★ Up Too Late Again, Malfi
★★★★★ Invincible Warrior, Malfi
Bystanders
Armengard
★ Calendar Girl, Armengard
★★★★★ Daily Alpha and Omega, Armengard
Carina Wynne
★ Slacking-Off Armorer, Carina Wynne
★★ Everybody's Big Sis, Carina Wynne
★★★★★ The Actual Santa Claus, Carina Wynne (Seasonal alternate)
★★★★★ Easter Prankbunny, Carina Wynne (Seasonal alternate)
NPCs
Gulliver
★★★ Good Horse Gulliver
★★★★ Great Horse Gulliver
★★★★★ Unicorn Stand-in Gulliver
Tobit Calice
★★★ Actual Cannibal, Tobit Calice
Skeleton
★ Headless, Skeleton
★★★★★ Never Give Up, Skeleton
Justin Alexander Adlehyde
★★ Long-Injured King, Justin Alexander Adlehyde
★★★★ Member of the Council of Seven, Justin Alexander Adlehyde
Lord Chauncey of Foxington
★★★★★ Lord of Foxington, Chauncey
Benedict Greygust
★ Swift Courier, Benedict Greygust
★★★★★ Fox and Friends Panelist, Benedict Greygust
Dahlia
★★★ Stern-faced Quartermaster, Dahlia
Penelope
★★★ Fanciest Pigeon, Penelope
★★★ Dubious Pigeon, Penelope
★★★★★ Shadowlord, Penelope
Collab Event Characters
Yuri Lowell
★★★★★ Too Popular Not To Be In This Too, Yuri Lowell (Limited time event)
KOS-MOS
★★★★★ Because Of Course She's Here Too, KOS-MOS