2020-04-17: The Same Concerns
- Log: The Same Concerns
- Cast: Loren Voss, Anaitis Sura
- Where: The Cape of Breath
- Date: April 17, 2020
- Summary: Loren spends some more time with Anaitis, trying to get to know them better. Awkward conversation is had.
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
"So, uh..."
They've been sitting here together for a little while now.
But Loren has never been good at knowing what to say when he focuses on what he should be saying. He gazes down at his hands, as if he can divine some sort of answer there.
He's not sure if this counts as a date or not. It's been a long time since their respective schedules have even remotely aligned -- he's been out in the field for a spell, and after that, on duty. And even before all that, renewed orders had meant that Anat had been the busy one.
There aren't a lot of places in Filgaia that can be called 'nice'. This stretch of Meria is among them.
It still is just a shadow of what he had found on Lunar -- it still has all the signs of the incipient decay of the planet, if you know where to look. But at least it's a sight better than the desert, he thought, and it's not as busy as a town or city.
And, there isn't a bad view of the sea from here...
"What's been... going on lately?" he hazards, figuring perhaps that talking about nothing is at least the safest option.
If also admittedly the coward's option.
<Pose Tracker> Anaitis Sura has posed.
It certainly has been a busy time, but being in Solaris often meant that one was terribly busy.
It's nice to find time to do things today, placing their hands behind their back. Anat is looking rather nice today, in differently coloured clothes -- always flowing, with robes and sleeves and shawls all adorned and tied with mirrors at their ends. Never wearing anything terribly tight.
"It seems there is unrest with some of our operations," Anaitis chuckles gently. "I have been fixing a lot of machinery, it would seem. I have also been doing some field work of my own, though not terribly interesting..."
Anaitis tilts their head, smiling to Loren. "I have missed you."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
It's not the first time this has been the case, and it's hardly going to be the last, not with the way things are heating up. He'd overheard a snippet of something in the training room on base (which had been one of the reasons he had skipped going in there, not that he would have stayed with Medry about).
Yeah. It's definitely heating up...
And they'll want results from him. Normally, they'd have assigned someone actually attached to intelligence work, but...
It's because he has 'history', he figures. And also because he's uniquely 'expendable' in the way that few of his rank really are. Not that they'd get him killed exactly, no, more that...
But Loren forgets about all that when Anaitis simply says they've missed him and, well, he just feels like his heart missed a beat. His face feels warm. But he's not displeased, precisely.
Loren swallows, then lifts his head. "Yeah, I've... missed you too."
Silence follows after. So much for talking about nothing, now it's nothing talking.
Though. On one hand, it's kind of nice to just sit like this.
On the other and increasingly more internally panicked hand, he's starting to think he really should be saying something about now, oh Emperor, he should say something before it gets weird aaaaa
"Uh, so, do you... like the sea?"
If he could expire, just, here and now, that would be just great, he decides, staring into the middle distance.
<Pose Tracker> Anaitis Sura has posed.
Anaitis purses their lips and lets out a little noise of, 'mm'.
"I have always had an affinity for water, I feel," Anaitis answers plainly. "Lakes. Rivers. Brooks... but, especially, the Ocean. That was the one thing that the sky does not have, do you not think?"
Anat tilts their head, with a quiet smile. "The ocean... is so unique, in its many ways, hiding so much, yet providing plenty to those who look for it."
A long, soft sigh.
"I think about it a lot."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
He turns to glance over at Anaitis, then blinks. Somehow, he'd expected to be called a weirdo or something and not just...
"Oh... yeah, you're attuned to water. Right. Like Major Sadalbari. I guess that makes sense."
Should he feel something when he looks at a mountain, then? He leans forward on the log bench upon which they both sit and impulsively scoops up a handful of loose dry sandy dirt, as if he's expecting to feel something from it.
In the end, it's just dirt, though. He lets it sift between his fingers, lifting his gaze to the sea on the horizon.
"Just decorative pools. Fountains. You know, one time my..."
He pauses for a good ten seconds, hunting for the rest of that memory before wrapping his metaphorical hand around its metaphorical throat. "...my brother. One time he pushed me in one of the pools in Arabot Plaza. It was to make a point, I guess, but it was kind of..."
He trails out, then glances back over at Anaitis.
"You do, huh?"
He pauses.
"I can't say I really have. I guess, uh... if I think about something like that a lot, it's got to be the night sky."
<Pose Tracker> Anaitis Sura has posed.
"Your brother..." Anaitis pauses for a moment, the blue hue in their eyes shimmering very gently. A pause, as they lower their head and looks quietly sad for some reason.
A longer pause, as the engineer chuckles and reaches out for Loren's hand gently.
"The night sky is beautiful as well. I wonder, perhaps, what would have happened if I were birthed under another star entirely. Perhaps..."
There is a longer pause still, as they shake their hand.
"Never you mind. Ah. I had acquired something interesting..."
They rummage through a pack and holds out something colourful in a bottle.
"They called this a... fruit shake?" Anaitis beams. "It is fruit blended with water. How fascinating!"
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
"What about your family..." Loren begins to hazard, except this is when Anaitis takes his hand, and suddenly he has other things on his mind than such mundane matters as that.
He hesitates like that for a long moment, before shifting his own hand just enough so that he can wrap his fingers around Anaitis' own.
He doesn't really want to let go. But he also knows that, ultimately, he's not going to be the one who gets to pick.
Instead, he turns to regard Anaitis, and is in that moment stunned by the engineer's response.
"...You, too? I--"
As much as he'd been terrified, that once, atop Lan's roof by the realization of what space meant, how vast that gulf could be, how impossible his wish was, a part of him still--
And just as suddenly, Anaitis turns to rummage through a pack, before bringing out something in a bottle.
"A fruit shake. ...Huh, they really didn't let you wander much, did they? Er-- I mean," Loren stammers, backpedalling as hard as he can, "they're pretty good. ...Sorry. I really should watch what I say..."
He never used to mind his words (outside in front of his betters) that much. But after that one time he just about got Anat in the heart by saying something rude carelessly, he's been more cautious. Or trying to, at least.
<Pose Tracker> Anaitis Sura has posed.
"Family..." Anaitis pauses, before shaking their head. "There was never much of one, I am afraid. The mere shell of one such family who was very much deep in the throes of Solaris' bureaucracy."
There is a bob of their head, then back towards Loren. "It looks perfect on paper... but far from it in practice."
There is a chuckle, as Anaitis hands one of the shakes over. "I suppose they did not let me wander much, no. In a way, 'tis the time for me to experience such a things. And what better time, than with you?"
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
"...Oh," Loren replies, immediately regretting even bringing it up. Naturally, things like that aren't covered in the medical records (and Anaitis' are quite sparse at that). It's just like with Tabitha -- when faced with a family situation much worse than his own, he just sort of turns tail and (metaphorically) runs.
He rubs at the back of his neck with his free hand. "Sorry to hear that..."
He is, again, not sure what to say.
It sounds like it was a mess, though. First, Anat's own family. Then, as a valuable Ether user and engineer, he would have been sheltered more.
"--Yeah. You can make up for lost..."
Anaitis says something like that. Loren sort of sputters a moment, then glances away, red-faced.
"Y-yeah," he's forced to settle for instead. "Something... like that."
<Pose Tracker> Anaitis Sura has posed.
"No, it is..." A pause. "I suppose it is one of those things that is not brought up much, and yet..."
Anaitis does seem fine to drop the subject, smiling ever so quietly instead as they squeeze their hand tighter to Loren's, then takes a sip of the fruit shake.
"... I am afraid of letting you down, somehow. Yet, I have enjoyed what little time we could spend together."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
And yet, it's the sort of thing that finds its own way to come up, regardless of what involved parties might wish.
Loren knows all about that.
Things drift towards a sort of quiet between the two, and for once, he feels a bit more at ease with the silence.
Maybe it's because it lets him gather his thoughts.
Or maybe it's just the physical contact.
"...Really?" he says at last, breaking his own silence when Anaitis makes that remark. "Because, I guess I..." He pauses, stealing a glance at them. "...I feel the same way. Like I'm going to let you down." Or be a utter disappointment, frankly.
<Pose Tracker> Anaitis Sura has posed.
"Aah... look at the both of us," Anaitis remarks after a bit. "Both possessing the same concerns." They breathe out gently, before pulling up just a bit as they hold their hand out and...
*flash*
It's the darn boat paddle again!
"Want to get closer to that starry sky? I enjoyed it, the last time..."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
"Y-yeah. I wonder if..."
On some level he's well aware that this is his first real relationship, that most people just don't get that lucky to meet 'the one' (so to speak) on the first go around. That this can't (won't) last, just because of social class alone.
But he can know whatever, all he likes. Beneath a sarcastic and bitter exterior really does beat a more romantic heart.
...The cliches are right.
"...Oh, it's that boat paddle again."
He's still not really sure how that works. But--
"I'm not going to fall off, right?"
He didn't the last time. But blooming romance or whatever aside, he's still paranoid.