2020-10-16: Amnesiacs Anonymous's New Member

• Log: Amnesiacs Anonymous's New Member
• Cast: Azoth, Xantia
• Where: Macalania
• Date: October 16, 2020
• Summary: Xantia has noticed a stranger with interesting abilities, and decides to find out more about him, only to learn they have more in common than she could have predicted. Azoth proceeds to give her a stone that definitely won't turn out to be a Chekov's Gun months later.

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===============================<* Macalania *>================================

The Macalania region is home to two ancient, crystalline formations of unsurpassed mystery and beauty. The first is the Macalania Woods - a shining maze-like forest overseen by strange, ancient, birdlike Beastmen who speak in bizarre riddles and weave light like silk. The second is Lake Macalania - an eternally frozen lake surrounded by snowy crevasses, which one can just see the frozen Temple beneath. Macalania is a distant, remote region -- and full of its own dangers.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-4DXa-E__M&ab_channel=Ultimatefighter34311

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Azoth walks the woods, observing it in its blue-emerald glory -- verdant, in the most literal sense of the word. It's so unlike anything he's seen on Filgaia, and so unlike Solaris: wild, untamed, and pleasant. He runs his fingers over the bark of a tree, flinching when a piece breaks off.

It wasn't intentional, but now that he has it, he runs his thumb over it in inspection before he pockets it. Then he keeps a closer eye on the ground, until he finds a little stone he assumes won't be missed.

That's Azoth, wandering a magical forest, and picking up tiny, mundane souvenirs within it.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

You ever get that feeling of being watched? It's a pretty common feeling when you actually are being watched. Especially when being watched by Xantia, who isn't particularly subtle about anything.

During the battle at the Via Purifico, the red-haired fist fighter could be observed creating elemental weapon constructs out of pure Ether, afterwards joining her friends to discuss what happened. These friends being predominently members of the mercenaries known as the Black Wolves. Depending on what one's been reading up on, perhaps she was even familiar - Solaris has a POI file on her, noting her absurd physical strength, Ether aptitude, possession of an ARM that suggests ties to Shevat, and her connection to the Wolves, often seen in the company of Fei Fong Wong in particular.

Her interest in Azoth may not have been evident back there, she had other things to worry about. Afterwards, though... well, there was still no actual plan involved, she was just heading to Luca and happened to see Azoth ahead of her, moving pretty slowly, looking around and picking things up occasionally. But now her curiosity has reached the considerably low threshold it takes for her to look into things more closely. And so, just as Azoth lifts that tiny stone...

"What do you need that for?"

The voice comes from... above? Not for much longer, as Xantia leaps down from the tree she was in, landing a short distance in front of Azoth. She smiles, and raises a hand in greeting.

"I don't get it, there's nothing special about any of the stuff you've been picking up. I mean, a rock now? You can't even eat that!" She'd totally get it if this was food-related. Few things don't make sense when it's food-related.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

The voice has Azoth straighten, gripping a fist around the stone as if someone intended to steal it. His eyes are a convenient match for the forest around him. Are they glowing, or are they just reflecting the lights of the forest they're in?

He hadn't noticed himself being followed at all. That's troubling. Perhaps he needs to do some re-evaluations. But now that someone is here, Azoth greets his would-be stalker, er, follower with a cheerful smile, mirroring her hand raise with one of his own. "Oh, hello."

Azoth looks to his rock, opening his fist, and then smiles a little brighter still. He offers it forward. "It has a symmetrical shape and a smooth texture. I thought it was interesting. But if you'd like to have it...?"

He tilts his head with his offer, looking her over. Her visage is one familiar from the battlefield, but also, indeed, from Solaris' files. His calculations sink: someone he should try to keep a conversation with, but, perhaps, for all the wrong reasons.

But none of that doubt shows on his face. Instead, surprise does. "I recognize you! You were also helping the dragon. I hope you weren't injured too badly."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Following people is something Xantia usually does more overtly than this. It's more her style to just barrel straight into things. But if you want to see what someone's doing, sometimes you have to employ a little stealth. Which she doesn't know a ton about, but she has taken notice of one very interesting fact where it comes to that. People often don't think to look up. Who'd travel across the treetops? ...Well, someone who's been here before and knows about the natural walkways up there, but that's neither here nor there.

Azoth's explanation for why he's been collecting these objects is met by what one might call a 'does not compute' expression, Xantia tilting her head slightly. She's certainly never thought of any rock as interesting before. Thus, when it's offered to her, she shakes her head.

"Oh, no, that's fine! If you think it's interesting, you should keep it!" Even if her policy is generally to take whatever is offered to her, in this case she'll make an exception. Wouldn't make sense to take something she can see no use for, when the one offering apparently does.

None the wizer about any other reason for scrutiny, Xantia cheerfully reacts to being recognized from before. "That's right, I saw you there too! Oh, don't worry about me, I'm fighting all the time, I can take a few injuries, no problem!" She pauses to tap her chin. "And besides, you helped to stop injuries from happening, didn't you? And you had light swords, like me! Well, sort of like me, but it was different. What kind of magic was that?"

It's all innocent curiosity on Xantia's part, but... it appears that she could somehow tell there was something unusual about Azoth's abilities.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Ah! That expression! Azoth knows it well.

"If you're certain," he says, and then he gives the little stone an admiring look before he tucks it away. "Perhaps there is something around here that suits you better..."

Azoth turns to begin surveying the forest floor for such objects, but seeing as she came from above, his gaze trails upward. Leaves, flowers, stones, bark... Xantia's general qualities... He glances back to her now and again, as if taking notes. (He is taking notes.)

But she asks after his abilities in battle, and Azoth's face remains smiles while his internals panic. Funny, that hasn't been a question people have had before.

"Oh, yes, I tried," he says, smiling more faintly. "I, ah, I hope it was a little helpful." That's not answering the question. "It's... something that comes naturally to me." Not a lie. "I'm not sure how to qualify it." Also not a lie...!

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

"...Suits me better?" Xantia doesn't know what to make of that one, either. She knows what she likes, but what exactly does it mean for something to 'suit' you? That's one of those things she's never really managed to figure out. It feels that much more awkward when she realizes that Azoth is actively looking for such an object.

"I don't know if there's anything like that around here..." When she tries to think of something, her mind of course goes right to the old standby. "I do like food! So if there's something edible around here..."

Xantia is oblivious to any distress her question might have caused, but as for the answer... uh-oh, her eyes are narrowing. Does she suspect something? "Is that so...?"

In no time flat, Xantia has invaded Azoth's personal space, standing directly in front of him and bringing her face in close, looking him in the eyes. "Hmmm..."

And then she steps back again, smiling brightly as if she did nothing unusual. "I understand! You don't know why you can do the things you do, you just do them! Just like me! And you don't really know why they're unusual either, also just like me..." Comparing this situation to her own seems to lead to only one natural conclusion.

"Did you also lose your memories, like me?"

She sounds oddly excited about this possibility.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

If only Azoth's idea of what 'suits' people were anything within the realm of normalcy. Food... he cannot be confident that what grows here would not be some manner of hallucinogen, either. Hm.

But before Azoth can locate any one such object, he gets a face full of Xantia, with his arms up slightly in surrender as he leans a half inch back. His eyes go wide as he becomes acutely aware of his own facial features. Will their authenticity hold up at this short distance?!

They do. He looks quite suitably startled. As luck would have it, he also feels suitably startled!

Just as he feels, perhaps, suitably seen in a very sudden, unusual moment. Shock melts into wonder with a slow blink, staring openly at Xantia.

The overrides. Azoth isn't supposed to report what his origins are. But it's the when that matters. This isn't a truth that dates him.

"...Yes." There's confusion in his tone, like he'd never expect this to be a shared feature. (Oh, Azoth.) "Y-yes!" Azoth repeats, with some excitement of his own. It feels sick that it's half a lie -- he knows why his power is unusual, unlike her. But the loneliness at feeling misplaced in a world, unable to remember what it might have been, or why Azoth is how he is... that isn't a lie.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

"That's wonderful!" Xantia is elated at the confirmation. Only to turn distressed for a short moment as she waves her hands wildly, correcting herself, "No, wait, I mean that's awful! Sorry, sorry, I just, I get excited whenever I meet someone who knows what that's like."

Not that she probably needed to explain herself, her reactions tend to give away the way she feels just fine. Leave it to Xantia to clarify the things that don't need to be clarified, and fail to do so for the things that could use a few more details.

She rubs the back of her head in brief embarrassment, getting back to the point that she was trying to make. "What I meant to say is, I've actually met a lot of people who've lost their memories, so if you felt like nobody understands you... You'd be surprised. Like, you could tell me stuff about the way you feel about it and I'll probably nod my head and go 'yup, I know what that's like'. So, you know, you're not alone!"

She's saying the sorts of things she wishes she would've known about sooner, and were a huge relief and comfort to her, figuring that will help Azoth the same way. Though she'd be remiss not to touch on the other side of things too, her smile fading.

"On the other hand... I sure wish this wasn't so common. It's... pretty awful to not know who you really are, or used to be, isn't it?" Abruptly, the smile returns, as she raises a fist to strike one of the heroic poses she learned during Hero Training (it's a long story).

"Well, don't worry! I've vowed to help anybody who's lost their memories in any way I can! We'll find out all about our pasts one day, you'll see!"

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Azoth gives Xantia a gentler smile, waving down her distress as if patting her in comfort, but not actually touching her. "It's all right. Sometimes things are awful and wonderful at once."

Her enthusiasm is both warming and painful. Xantia seems to go in with her whole heart, even with someone she's only met -- even with someone maybe she shouldn't. Well, perhaps him fighting to protect a dragon is a misleading piece of data for her. "I'm also sorry that you've forgotten," he says. "But... thank you for making it less lonely."

See? Wonderful and awful.

Xantia poses, and Azoth's eyes light up brightly, his mouth a little circle of awe. He thinks a moment to mimic it, but it radiates with so much of her energy and demeanor that it doesn't feel like one of those gestures he ought to steal.

But it's Azoth's turn to wilt into a frown. "...It doesn't frighten you? What you might find in the past?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia makes an appreciative 'hm' sound to the way Azoth describes that. Awful and wonderful at the same time. She never thought of that as something that can makes sense, but... she likes that. In retrospect, she could identify quite a few things one could describe in that way.

Having only just met someone has never stopped Xantia from immediately considering them a friend. Fighting for Lombardia doesn't even really factor into it. All it takes is a non-hostile disposition for 'friend' to be the default status for anyone she's talked to for longer than a minute. Hopelessly optimistic and naively trusting, some might say, but to her, this is the only way it makes sense to be.

Moments like this only serve as further validation - being able to be of some comfort to someone who suffers amnesia makes her day, despite the awful part of it being necessary in the first place. She can only smile all the more brightly at the thanks she receives, closing her eyes for a moment, happy to have done a good deed.

Hero Training was an extension of that wish to be a beacon of hope for people. Even if she's since given up on actively working towards becoming worthy of being called 'hero', the sentiments behind it haven't changed. It helps that it's so close to her natural state of being anyway. Which isn't to say that she can't be sober about things, as evidenced when Azoth asks that question. She answers that one with all the seriousness that it warrants.

"It does. I kind of figure that what I'll find out about my old self is probably not going to be all good things. But, in the end, I don't think that whatever I find out could be worse than this constant feeling of being... unsure. About everything."

She lingers on that sober note for a moment, before returning to her preferred optimistic view on matters, her smile returning. "But, this isn't about becoming who you used to be. It's learning about how you used to be. Who you are now matters too. If you learn you used to be different, and you don't agree with how you used to be, you don't have to be that person again. You can just keep being you, as you are now. As long as you know, then you can make that decision, instead of just having to wonder 'what if' all the time."

She places her arms behind her head, the moment of seriousness past. "Took me a long time before I could think of it like that, so you know, I don't blame you if you can't. But think about it, okay?"

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Azoth continues to behold Xantia with astonishment. Every word she speaks is a new piece of data: an angle and perspective he had yet to factor into his calculations. One of his directives is to find it. Doubting it would be irrelevant. Hopeless. Helpless. And no one could have offered a different view without having one parallel to his in the first place.

Now, he's encountered someone who does.

He gives Xantia a weak smile. "Yes, I can't be sure why we have swords of light in any flavor, but it likely wasn't for picking flowers."

A Gear created for large scale combat only has a few practical uses. But the overrides in Azoth's code demand he can't specify quite that far. Every word he tries to piece together gets deleted before it reaches output into his voice synthesizer.

"But you're right, I think. Missing that information isn't useful, either." It's working with incomplete data. Inefficient. (But sometimes, you want to be inefficient when you're the tool of the wrong people.) Xantia speaks of a comforting sentiment: to find the past, and integrate as much or as little of it into themselves as they want.

As a machine, how the data integrates may not be a choice. To realize his old purpose would be to have the code back in his system -- to have those objectives snap back into place, rigid and absolute.

If only he could tell her and get more of her optimism in response. Azoth's smile livens some in spite of his own gloom. For now, he can at least clutch onto the idea Xantia may have a point -- maybe his new data will determine the old obsolete. It isn't impossible. Or maybe Xantia's contagious. "It's... difficult, I admit. But I want to consider it."

Then, a little brighter still: "And if you're going to help me, then I want to do the same for you. In searching, or in listening."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia doesn't fully realize the effect her words are having. She's trying to be of some assistance, of course, but in the end she's really just being earnest, as she always is. It's nice to be able to help someone by just doing what comes natural. She doesn't realize all the extra wrinkles in play here, but it certainly seems safe to assume that if there is a bright spot somewhere, she'll be sure to focus on it. That too is just what comes natural.

She does have to make one small correction in Azoth's observation, however. "Oh, the light sword is different, a Seraph helped me with that one. Not sure if I could always do that. But the light element, sure, and the lightning, and the fire, and the others that I can't really remember how to do right now, but I know I can do them. I have to work on it, or something special needs to happen, but I know when it's remembering, not learning."

She explains it all pretty matter-of-factly. Even vaguely explained, it doesn't take any calculations to know that level of Ether aptitude is decidedly not normal, nor is the way in which she uses it. But it's her normal. Not that what she said changes anything about the point that Azoth was trying to make - it still doesn't seem very likely that this kind of ability wasn't meant for combat.

Xantia eagerly nods her head when she's agreed with. "That's right! I probably already knew a bunch of other things that I had to learn all over again, it would sure be nice to just... know, for a change! So, yeah! When things are difficult, all you have to do is remember that you can't fail at anything, as long as you never give up!" Words to live by - she's been living by them for as long as she can remember.

Naturally, she's not about to turn down an offer for help either. "That'd be great! Then, there's something you could do right now! Let me know if you hear anything about someone named Xenia, okay? I'm pretty sure she knows things about me, so I've been looking for her."

She looks doubtful right after saying this, for two reasons. The first is the warning letter she received, saying not to look for Xenia. But that's only a fleeting thought - she simply can't pass up on any chance to learn more. Besides, it wouldn't be her looking if it's Azoth, right? No, by far more pressing is the second thing she realizes after speaking Xenia's name, which prompts her to slap herself on the forehead.

"Silly me, I never even told you my name! I'm Xantia! ...Just Xantia, that's all I remember. Do you remember your name?"

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

That is a remarkable level of Ether aptitude, Azoth realizes grimly. It may be in Xantia's file that she is good with it, but hearing her speak of it so casually and what it means to her adds a sinking calculation to his circuits. She is exactly someone Solaris would be interested in having a closer understanding of... and possibly, in the future, easy access to.

If only he could make some excuse and run, so she would not have to know him. It's one of those awful and wonderful things, but this time, the awful outweighs the wonderful. Xantia doesn't deserve a 'friend' like Azoth.

Meanwhile, the overridden segment of his code is practically vibrating with delight at the convenience of it all. That this signals 'happiness' in his systems at all is like nails against a motherboard.

"Xenia," Azoth repeats carefully, just to be sure of its accuracy as he gives a nod. Back to his cheer: "I'll remember it, I promise." At least he can do that. Unless it's relevant to Solaris. Please don't be relevant to Solaris.

He'd be delighted to know he's acting as a loophole on Xantia's behalf, though.

Names! Xantia slaps herself on the forehead while Azoth awkwardly scratches his cheek. He's been fumbling this introduction business with everyone he's met himself. The first people he met in his current set of memories ripped the name right out. Giving it voluntarily is still strange. "It's Azoth. That's all I remember myself."

Not that Gears tend to have surnames.

Then, abruptly: "Oh! There!" He drops down to the ground, finding a new rock and turning it over in his grip, looking from it to Xantia and back again in careful inspection.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia can be surprisingly observant for someone who focuses mostly on whatever is right in front of her, but there's no way she's noticed any sign of internal turmoil. Even after this brief a time talking to her, it's probably already easy to tell that she would seek to address any sort of distress she notices right away.

She only smiles and nods, pleased that Azoth agrees to help her out with Xenia. Then her face falls, suddenly. "...oh, um. Actually, now that I think about it... what I just asked you may be pointless. She probably stayed behind, so she wouldn't even be on this planet."

There's another pause, after which she looks positively distressed, fidgeting with her hands as she tries to work out whether Azoth is a Spiran native, who wouldn't even know about other planets. "L-look, um... if what I just said didn't make sense to you, could you maybe just pretend I didn't say anything? It's hard to explain. I can only say that, um, if it does make sense to you, it would all make sense." Makes sense, right?

Obviously, Xantia has a bit of a problem with keeping secrets. She seems to be the type who would say anything that comes to mind out loud without thinking first. Good thing she's talking to a friend, not somebody who might take advantage of that one day.

It's a flaw at least as old as her failure at introductions. The first thing that comes to mind is rarely 'I have to say my name', that's really all there is to it. And once she starts talking... well, we've seen that in action.

"Azoth," she repeats the name. "Neat! I don't know anyone else with that name, or anyone else called Xantia for that matter, so it's not like we really need any more names than that! Then, nice to meet you, Azoth!" Bit late for that sentiment, but she means it all the same.

And while she was still in the middle of saying it, Azoth suddenly dropped to the ground. One can almost see the question mark bubble over Xantia's head. "Umm... did you drop something?" She can't tell one rock from another very well. A geologist, she is not.

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

Yes. It is fortunate Xantia is in completely wholesome, well meaning company with no ulterior motives what-so-ever. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Azoth offers a reassuring smile, waving his hand as if it would smooth out Xantia's sudden distress. Though, for the moment, he isn't looking at her. He's busy deeply inspecting this new rock. "It makes sense," he assures her. "I'm from Filgaia, myself. If this Xenia of yours is more likely to be there, that might improve my odds of stumbling on something."

... Upon re-evaluation, for as much as Azoth cannot share about Solaris data, might there be some information that doesn't trigger his overrides...? This is worth testing. Assuming they have anything useful.

Standing back up, Azoth gives Xantia his biggest, brightest smile yet, offering her a different rock. "Here! This one suits you much better."

REALLY, because it's KIND OF JUST A ROCK.

It's not even the right color! Xantia's made of many reds, and this is a deep blue. Xantia may not be able to appreciate how the subtlety of the divots and curves match up to the unique ratio measurements of her facial features, though within a certain margin of error. It can be so difficult to find the perfect stone, but this is close...!

But the texture is, at least, pleasantly smooth, with splotched brightness as if the sunspots from the canopy had imprinted over the surface. So there's... that?

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia lets out a sigh of relief that may seem overexaggerated, but she really is that relieved that she didn't slip up somewhere. Talking is easy, conversation can be hard sometimes. Especially when you tend towards saying whatever makes sense to you as if it would make sense to anyone. She lucked out in that regard, this time.

"That's good to know! I'm from Filgaia too, I know that much... it would make sense for Xenia to be, too, but I can't be completely sure." It's not like she has any evidence that she herself is from Filgaia either, she just feels entirely sure that she must be.

Aaaand then she's handed another rock. She doesn't at all understand what this fascination with rocks is all about. She takes it mostly because Azoth clearly really wants her to have it, but she can't hide her failure to see why this apparently 'suits' her as she looks it over. What is she supposed to do with this?

It does sort of match one thing in color... her eyes. They're more sky blue than deep blue, but at least there is a blue in the sea of red. But Xantia doesn't even arrive at that comparison. Her thoughts instead drift to Xenia. The woman of which all she's managed to see was a flash of rapidly moving blue light. Though it may not have been the connection she was intended to make, the memory of being saved in her time of need still brings a smile back to her features, as she runs her fingers across the stone's smooth surface.

Besides... there's something strangely nice about being told something suits you. Perhaps it's not really a problem if she doesn't fully understand what's going on.

"...Thank you. I have no idea why it suits me, but... if you say so, then I'll keep it with me."

<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.

"Another thing we're alike in," Azoth says. "I'm sure we'll get back, eventually." But Xantia probably doesn't need to be told that, what with her never giving up philosophy. Still...!

Azoth watches Xantia take in the rock a moment, tentative and uncertain. Perhaps he chose poorly? But as she comes to smile with her acceptance of it, his own face becomes a proud beam of delight. He did a good job! Positive feedback goes ding. It's these little things Solaris hasn't managed to take from him yet.

"There are mathematical similarities." Yes, that's surely a helpful explanation, and not bizarre at all. "And this is a unique forest. We may make new memories, but sometimes it's nice to have something more tangible to solidify them."

Something more than recorded data and code that can be corrupted, or encrypted, or deleted.

...Or forgotten. What robs an organic of their memories? This Xenia... For all Azoth is programmed to do, he really does hope he can help Xantia find something.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

"Of course we will!" is Xantia's immediate reaction. Optimism to spare indeed. Though even Xantia had trouble thinking positively the first time she found herself displaced to Lunar. After going back and forth as many times as she has, she's pretty confident about finding a way back. "...Hopefully soon," she adds, as she still would very much prefer to be on Filgaia.

Xantia blinks blankly and nods at the 'mathematical similarities' explanation. Not quite as completely baffled a reaction as one might expect, but she sure wouldn't know how to look at a stone to see math in it. The other point made though, that one is easier to understand, and quickly brings back her smile. "I guess it's true that we don't have anything like this on Filgaia. And that if I look at this stone, I'll think about meeting you here today. That's pretty clever."

Xantia is ironically very confident in her memory these days and doesn't feel that she really needs objects to remind her of things. But now, she's starting to realize that there may be value to an object which has no other purpose than to remind of a specific event. She may have finally figured out why people like to have souvenirs.