2021-05-12: Long Before We Ever Met
- Log: Long Before We Ever Met
- Cast: Ruth Pauling, Yulie Ahtreide
- Where: Zoara Badlands
- Date: May 12, 2021
- Summary: Yulie thinks she has found a place to lie low for a bit, after exposing a great power at Halim and risking attracting further attention. It happens to be the same place a certain someone else has chosen to lie low (...or high, rather) at after endangering Halim. What does an adult who let down someone constantly let down by other adults say to their fears and uncertainties?
==============================<* Zoara Badlands *>============================== Most of Zoara's interior is a vast expanse of desolate earth. A handful of areas receive just enough rainfall to allow the growth of foliage, but by and large, this place is almost as inhospitable as the wastes of Ignas. Ghost towns dot these dusty plains--many of them are settlements that dried up and died during the Celesti Civil War. Most of the remaining settlements have forfeited their sovereignty to Guild Galad in exchange for their continued survival. Rail travel is the easiest way to cross the Badlands. Guild Galad's military maintains a tight grip on most of Zoara's rail routes, ensuring that transit is reasonably safe, if extensively-policed. Outside of the rail network, travelers band together in caravans to keep themselves safe. Centuries of war have scarred this land, and attacks from bandits -- or worse -- are an unfortunate fact of life. BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeL32o-P6Yw
<Pose Tracker> Ruth Pauling has posed.
Halim is safe. A probable tragedy (or worse) has been overturned, and the threat of Malevolence exposure contained.
For now. Only 'for now,' because the Hellion in question kept enough fight and will to keep the flames of Moor Gault from burning away the conflict-exacerbated guilt and sorrow that has taken root within someone that - by history's reckoning - has plenty of reason to feel that way.
Several laid bare the realities of Malevolence and what it does and does not do to someone. If Ruth were truly the heartless monster she described, there would have been no discord in thought and deed for it to have fed on - but she did not listen.
It's further down Zoara, about in the outer reaches of what was once Celesti. It's as desolate a place as always, but there's no shortage of ghost towns and other places that can serve as temporary shelters for someone on the run from some exceptionally scary adults who do not think much of hurting people who are barely clinging by. Some of them aren't haunted by the dead. Some of them aren't currently being operated by desperate outlaws. Some of them aren't currently being secured by the Guild Galad military, many of whom are willing to think the worst of just about any Drifter intruding.
Ruth is currently sitting on the roof of a long-abandoned church in one of these ghost towns, head bowed and brooding. She's currently buried all her Malevolence deep within herself, leaving the woman she used to be as her face to the world. As there's no ambient Malevolence in the air, she has yet to let herself emerge in these parts.
It's early in the afternoon, uncomfortably dry, and... well, it's always melancholy in Zoara, isn't it.
('It's Always Melancholy in Zoara' is not a hit theater show in the making.)
<Pose Tracker> Yulie Ahtreide has posed.
Yulie still isn't sure what to think about everything that happened in Halim. It's left her with a lot of emotions that are difficult to process. Sadness, regret... betrayal. She still isn't sure what to think about Ruth. For now, she's just trying to push forward. To think about other things, and to keep moving.
She doesn't know if word got out about what she did in Halim - conjuring one of the Guardian Programs in a populated town could potentially draw attention to her, so it might be good to lie low for a little.
And so it is, by coincidence, she finds herself in a certain ghost town, in front of a certain long-abandoned church. Yulie looks upon it quickly, one hand grasping her holy symbol. She still has a lot of complicated feelings about Granas, too, even if they've largely cleared up. Should she go inside...?
She is, for the time being, unaware of Ruth's presence. But Yulie herself isn't difficult to spot.
<Pose Tracker> Ruth Pauling has posed.
It doesn't seem there's an ambush in wait. While Odessa has shown its rapid deployment capabilities to be something otherworldly and frightening (and how!!), there is no sign that there's any greater danger in the area otherwise than 'being in Zoara.' (...And, as a technicality, 'there's also a Hellion around,' for they are never not dangerous.)
Sanctuary in Filgaia is often illusory... and temporary, at best.
The sharpshooter on the roof turns her head, shade hiding her eyes as she looks down upon the troubled young woman currently deciding about whether or not she's going to go in there - and recognizes who that is.
There's a faint rustling noise in the distance, the sound of a rosary's beads shuffling under sudden movement. Her hand, over her heart.
"This may be Zoara," comes the sullen voice of someone whose guilt-laden fervor at Halim sounds completely unlike the melancholy, tired voice that speaks now, "but some places are still sacred."
<Pose Tracker> Yulie Ahtreide has posed.
Yulie freezes in place as she hears a voice from above. She takes a few steps back and looks up... where she spots Ruth, perched atop the church. Yulie hesitates for a second. She... hadn't expected to face her again so soon, and she finds herself conflicted on how should she react.
Should she scold her for her actions at Halim? Be relieved that she's alright, and no longer in that other form? Or any number of other potential reactions? She hadn't expected to see her again so soon...
But, after a moment she nods quickly, looking up toward but not quite at Ruth.
"...Y-yes. That's... one thing that still remains the same..." Yulie murmurs, before looking back down at the church. She reaches out toward the building, resting a hand carefully on the doorframe. What was this one like, once upon a time...?
<Pose Tracker> Ruth Pauling has posed.
Neither are looking one another in the eyes. What transpired between them is difficult - this is something that goes above and beyond a mere disagreement on a subject of passion. On that roof is yet another adult who broke Yulie's trust and hurt her. She hurt people, and was about to hurt even more people in the process even given her desires and goals.
She doesn't screech or swoop down or anything particularly monster-like beyond the baseline existence she is concealing. The door creaks and squeaks open to show a church that is abandoned, but long ransacked of anything of material worth not nailed down. (The pews are still of nice quality, but it may just be an unspoken code of honor among the worst of graverobbers: if you take a pew, you stink.)
Stained glass windows, though their vibrant colors have since faded, remain intact beyond a single one to the back and left that - going by where the shards are located - was smashed from the inside rather than out. There is nothing existentially terrifying within, at the very least. Nothing grisly happened in here, it's just melancholy and in disarray.
"You're frightened, aren't you." An abrupt statement in timing, as Yulie contemplates the building - but the tone hasn't risen in aggression or anger, as Ruth gradually turns her head to look upon Yulie proper. If she looks up... it's those same gray eyes.
The exact same gray eyes seen in that Malevolent Phantom of herself as she was in 490 PC. When Siddim happened.
<Pose Tracker> Yulie Ahtreide has posed.
Melancholy and in disarray... it's perfect, in a way. That's how Yulie feels right now. A part of her wants to go in and do her best to clean it up, in hopes that doing so makes her feel a little better, too.
...But, she doesn't - at least, not yet, not while Ruth is there still. She flinches slightly, as Ruth points out that she's frightened. She looks up, then, seeing those grey eyes... The same eyes she saw on the phantom. The same eyes she saw filled with tears.
...Yulie has to look away from her, at that thought. It's hard for her to be upset with someone when thinking about them crying, and a part of her wants to be upset at Ruth right now. Is that too self-indulgent...? Yulie isn't sure.
"...Yes. I... I am..." Yulie admits, with a quiet nod. "I... I still remember what happened. What I saw... what you said..."
<Pose Tracker> Ruth Pauling has posed.
Eyes meet for a moment - and there's enough shade to hide the rest of her facial features, leaving just enough of the eyes to make out the color. Within a second of Yulie breaking sight, she does as well, though her head turn is a lot slower. She's virtually motionless aside from that, right hand still over her heart. If she tried hard enough, she probably would pass for a decorative grotesque on the roof.
It does seem a fitting place for her, doesn't it, knowing her true self these days.
What sorts of lies has Yulie been told over the years? 'Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you,' or that sort of rot?
"You've seen what's left of Celesti," she starts, but there's still no greater intensity in her voice. "You've sought out those who suffer beyond death. You've been made to grow up... sooner than you should have." She breaks her stillness to move her right hand over her left shoulder. "All the death... the ruin. The pain. I..."
She finds herself buoyed, somewhat, by the fear - and by the thoughts that can be heard over other thoughts in her own voice.
"I hurt you long before we ever met."
<Pose Tracker> Yulie Ahtreide has posed.
Yulie pauses, hearing what Ruth has to say. About what's left of Celesti, and what she's been through... and how Ruth has hurt her. She goes quiet for a moment, at that.
...It's true. Ruth had no small part in the Celesti Civil War. Everything connected to that war... though she was too young to be witness to the true horrors of it, everything in her life has been defined by it. Without it, she wouldn't be an orphan. Her brother would still be here, instead of being off somewhere. She wouldn't be burdened with this terrible power. There wouldn't be so many lost, suffering souls...
"...It's true." Yulie admits. She can't deny what she says. "But I... I don't want to keep holding a grudge over it..."
Yulie shakes her head.
"I just... I just want it all to stop. That cycle of violence, hatred, and suffering..." She admits.
<Pose Tracker> Ruth Pauling has posed.
An earnest, heartfelt wish. To have all the violence, the hatred, and suffering to stop. It seems like it should be a wish shared by anyone and everyone who lives in the Zoara region - or anywhere war-torn about Filgaia, of which there are far too few places that aren't.
"Even if you don't wish to hold a grudge," Ruth speaks, lowering her head, "I have to atone. The only ways I have to do so... they're all the ways I've caused all of that to begin with." Yulie may remember that vision - of an Etone saying that this was the way the 'likes of her' could 'best serve the Light.' As if she could know no other way to bring peace around her.
This same 'atonement' brought her to the conclusion that potentially putting Halim in mortal danger, talking herself through the risks, and deciding that she cared too much (instead of not at all?) to not attempt it. She cared so much she hurt everyone trying to reach out to her. She wouldn't have it - so much so, she violently rebuked Yue trying to pass off what she did as being the designs of people who 'made her this way.'
The hand drops from her shoulder, and goes limp as she leans back against the wall behind her. The angle's somewhat precarious. If she leans too far in the direction she is, she could fall right off.
"I don't know how it'll look should it 'stop.'" She exhales, as if not quite able to get air out of her lungs that has settled there, like she's holding a breath for something else. "I'm not sure if anyone does, any longer."
<Pose Tracker> Yulie Ahtreide has posed.
Yulie frowns a little, at that - as Ruth asserts the only ways she has to atone. She shakes her head, then.
"Is that... what people have lead you to believe...?" Yulie asks. She remembers that vision, of course. She's not sure if she should admit that she's seen it directly. "Do you really believe that...?"
She frowns a little.
"There are... a lot of things you can still do - things that don't involve violence. Even if you don't realise it yourself yet..." She says.
She pauses, then. ...How will it look? Yulie hesitates a little.
"Is that... is that so bad...? Not knowing what the future will be like..." Yulie asks. "We won't know what it'll look like until we try..."
<Pose Tracker> Ruth Pauling has posed.
"...Someone believed there was something good in someone like that." Ruth's voice is a lot lower as she says it, as Yulie asks as to whether or not she believes it - there's a trembling in her voice, all the same, like she might be about to have to let out some tears. She can't see Yulie's frown. In that moment, she might only be able to parse her feelings, such as they are, which is...
Not good. A tense moment passes, but there's no release of the Malevolence within.
There is, however, a growing smile. "I might not know... but I do care." A calm that is a bit more eerie with every passing moment. Her left hand rises up to her face with a little hiss of pain from the movement, against her head. "Even if the suffering doesn't end... I'll be there for it."
That smile may not reassure! It is dangerously close to the same smile she wore when she retrieved her stuck ARM from the ground and opened fire in Halim, but... Hellions are always creatures of contradiction, and she's no different.
It does relax, after a time. Kind of. There's still a smile there, but she's not looking at Yulie. She's looking up.
"This is a place of rest for weary souls, is it not? You're safe in there." This, coming from someone who hurt Yulie. "...Take as long as you need. I'm fine just offering my shoulder to the heavens." There was a church in Siddim that the Domain got a little weird about, when it came to anyone going inside the church.
That feeling does not appear exclusive to Siddim - Ruth indeed will not follow Yulie in there, should she choose to go in for shelter. (Whether it's a place of rest or not when there's a Hellion vibing on the roof is a different debate altogether.)
<Pose Tracker> Yulie Ahtreide has posed.
Yulie goes a little quiet at that low statement. ...Is it intended for her? Or is Ruth reminiscing about someone...? She wonders who she means...
But, still, Ruth says she cares about the future, and smiles. It isn't... entirely reassuring, it's true, but...
"It's... good that you care." Yulie says with a hesitant nod."It's... important that people do."
But, Ruth says that this is a place of rest, and that she'll be safe, and Yulie nods. It'd be reasonable if she didn't trust her, after everything that happens... but in this, at least, she feels like she can.
"...Thank you, Miss Ruth." She offers with a quiet nod, taking a step into the church.