2022-03-13: Looming Memories
- Log: Looming Memories
- Cast: Azoth, Seraph Ragnell
- Where: Zulan Massif
- Date: March 13, 2022
- Summary: Ragnell catches up with a broken and overheated Azoth and provides him with a bit of healing and a bit of friendship while he notes his concerns for his mission. Takes place shortly after Icebreaker.
<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.
The nature of Azoth's purpose means never giving up on his objective. What that once was is fuzzier the more of himself he finds. He cannot see what it was, only that it's broken. Data encrypted without the right key is as good as deleted -- maybe even better than. But those keys might still exist, and as long as he has his missing pieces in range, his overrides demand he find them, grab them, get them back.
It's a crude set of code. An automaton built for one purpose, using that purpose to inform the execution of a different purpose. Built a machine for war and then use war programming for recon...
Is it any surprise this is what they ended up with?
Azoth drags himself out of ice water, a construct of black metal and, for now, blue lights. A chunk of his face is missing, exposing the nothing under it, with only one antenna-horn left standing. That's hardly the extend of the damage against his battered frame. He reaches into his insides with a claw, operating digits deftly with quick twists and jerked movements. Energy pours through, turning black to crimson from the heat of it as he welds what he can back together under the circumstances and reattaches what wires and cords he can. A few of these take inelegant force, and percussive maintenance on his leg gets it moving again.
His tail keeps twitching, rattling against the ground. He's not floating as he moves, dragging himself step by step through the snow, ever closer to Kahedin, Trial of the Ice Shrine.
He does not know its real significance. He only knows that's his destination.
Part of him is there.
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.
Every time Ragnell thinks about what's been done to Azoth, it makes her spiritual blood boil. She's one whose nature it is to be free, to do as she pleases, to make her own judgments and thus her own choices. Seeing that ripped away from a living, thinking being always makes her angry--yes, even if it's a human--but seeing someone who was *explicitly made* to obey even though they're *capable* of living and thinking for themselves is simply beyond appalling to her. Azoth might be the only robot she's close to that she explicitly knows for certain is a robot, but it does lower her opinion in general of those who rely on machinery.
But then, if people hadn't come to rely on machinery, they never would have developed the skills and technology to create someone like Azoth in the first place. It's an annoying quandary. So Ragnell doesn't concern herself with that--just what's happening right before her.
She only assists in his battles sometimes. With his strength, he doesn't really *need* her, but she thinks both of them know it at least makes the experience less agonizing for him. Case in point: Azoth is an *utter* wreck when he pulls himself from the icy water.
It at least makes him easier to spot. Ragnell, who'd been looking around the snowy vistas for sign of him after that fight, spots his grisly form as he emerges and radiates heat enough to melt the snow around him as he engages in self-repair. She turns and jogs his way.
"Hey! Hey, Azoth!" she calls once she's closer. She's not 100% sure he's going to hear, what with him in that state. And it seems like he's heading a certain direction... He'd said he'd sensed a piece of himself nearby. Had he finally tracked it down...?
Well, she'll just make it easier for both of them. Seraphim can teleport short distances, and while Ragnell usually doesn't bother, she does it now, vanishing in a flash of lightning sparks and reappearing on Azoth's shoulder. In an instant, a Seraphic glyph forms around her as she calls up her magic to heal him--something perhaps only possible *because* she's a Lightning Seraph.
"Figured I'd save you a minute," she quips. "Not like anyone can stop you." Not even himself, she doesn't add.
<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.
Azoth's antenna swivels back toward Ragnell, the only sign he's heard her at all as he marches onward toward his goal. Even without her teleportation, it would not be difficult for her to catch up at his pace, raking hot lines through the snow and leaving it slush behind him to freeze into new shapes once the presence of his heat is gone.
But nor does he move with the hostility he so often gives those who make any approach when he's like this. Ragnell has weighted the data well, and adds to it with the healing energy of lightning knitting through his systems, filling his charge and helping weakened signals jump through damaged wiring with more ease.
His posture lifts for it. "Ragnell," he greets, not in his boyish voice, but something deep and resonating. But the glitching and the static clears thanks to her efforts.
Sometimes Azoth wonders how much Ragnell knew of what she was doing when she established herself so firmly as a helpful entity.
"Assistance acknowledged." He looks toward he shrine, and explains what he's sure she already knows: "Signal found. Prioritizing retrieval." Pause. "... Did you encounter User Seraphita, Subject Xantia, or Lydia? Do you know their status?"
It's not that he does not care if he caused severe damage to anyone else, but there is a special type of distress associated with the three of them. And given the strength of each of them, it isn't the physical damage he's most concerned about.
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.
They've known each other a decent while by now, after all. Well--really only a blink considering their respective lifetimes. But more than enough time for the processing speed of a being as advanced as Azoth is. Ragnell's confident that Azoth doesn't see her as an enemy--sees her as quite the opposite--by now. Especially when her first act upon teleporting over to him is to heal him.
Robots might not be the same as humans, but they mirror them fairly well in many important ways. One of them is that, generally speaking, others will respond positively to you if you're actively helpful to them.
"Yo," she replies, her tone as flippant and casual as ever, at his deep-voiced greeting. The spell completes; she rests her hand on his shoulder, where she remains perched. Sure enough, he's figured out where his missing piece is. She nods once. "Yeah, figured as much. Well, here I am. Figure you might need a friend t' help out right about now."
She frowns a bit--not in displeasure but in thought--when he asks after Xantia, Seraphita, and Lydia, though. "I saw Xantia a few days ago--but that's not what you're askin' about, o' course," she replies. "No, I haven't seen 'em since I came lookin' for you. But they're all tough. I wouldn't worry too much about their condition." She pats his chasses and chuckles wryly. "...But *you*, you'll worry lots all the same, huh? That's just who you are."
Seraphita, though. Hm. "Was Seraphita helpin' you fight?" she wonders. The alternative is that she was fighting *against* him, and that's extremely interesting if so. Lydia's a bit more of a grey area; OS might be a Solaris agent, but Lydia's a bit more of a wild card.
<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.
It's all data. It is for humans, too, Azoth figures, though he also figures they would be uncomfortable to think of it that way: that every experience with a person constructs his idea of them. That lists of their words and actions feed together in observed patterns to determine how he identifies them.
There are multiple ways to be defined as a friend. Right now, Ragnell holds a unique position among them. Arguably, everyone's position is a unique one. But there's something about Ragnell's behavior that highlights a number of authorizations his handlers would not want her to have.
But they'd have had to anticipate the nuances of such a thing to code him away from it. Maybe Axton will find out and steal it later. But it's not later yet.
"I cannot accurately predict the stress inflicted by our interactions." But it's there. Lydia tries to show boundless cheer, but he's seen the way the world weighs on her. Xantia, relentless in her optimism, had some of that hope pried from her because of him. Because she made him an offer, and a promise. She doesn't break promises.
Azoth does.
And Seraphita. Ragnell asks after her and Azoth stills. "...No. She ordered me to stop, and --" Azoth twitches, claw over his face. "ERROR invalid request." He shakes his head. He 'should' hate Seraphita, but the data Seraphita has provided in opposition to that is staggering. And in such a short amount of time. But what is 'should'?
"Ragnell. You partner with one who calls themself the Adversary of Mankind. ... Do you hate humans?"
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.
Maybe it'll happen later. But Ragnell's pretty confident she won't get caught so easily. She's a Seraph, inherently invisible to people of low Resonance (which is almost all Solarians) and to normal recording devices, and while she might generally seem erratic and brash, that's at least in part a facade. She's cunning enough to know when she needs to be subtle. "Almost all" isn't *all*, and it would be really annoying to get caught because she got careless. The biggest advantage they have now on Solaris is *her*, and that's only the case as long as they don't find out she's been poking around in their systems.
"Hmmm... Yeah, the heart can be a fragile thing," she concedes, folding her arms. "But they're pretty resilient on that mark too. They've got friends an' allies to support them an' keep their spirits bolstered. Even if things aren't goin' well as far as you're concerned, they're not alone. I don't think you need to worry... *too* much about that, either."
Meaning that it's right to worry at least some, in Ragnell's view. She frowns over at him when he explains that Seraphita had actually tried to *stop* him, and that gets an 'invalid request.' Hmmm. "So she was fightin' alongside the Filgaians? Interesting," she remarks. "She always did seem like a better person than most o' th' folks she works with."
Which didn't stop her from taking a warning bite out of Ragnell once, which was pretty fucking scary at the time. But Ragnell opts not to let Azoth in on that moment.
"So why didn't you obey her order? She's a Solarian agent; aren't you supposed to do what she tells you to?" she asks. Given that 'invalid request,' she suspects he won't be able to tell her, but it's worth it to try. She pauses, though, when Azoth brings up the Adversary of Mankind.
"Yes," she states, calm and clear. "There are some who're all right, an' they're not beyond the ability to improve, but for the most part, I do hate humans. They're fuckin' awful. Most of them are in dire need of a boot to the ass, an' who better than me to provide that?" She smirks, red eyes glinting. "Why d'you ask? I don't think you've had the *best* run-ins with them, from what I've heard..."
<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.
They wouldn't have to know Ragnell personally is Azoth's worry. But Axton so often lacks the skill to anticipate these unintended results. And Ragnell is a particularly unpredictable problem. Azoth likes that about her.
"I continue to calculate possible actions to mitigate the damage," he says. "Observations of their opinions on you provides additional important data." They'll forgive anything, these Drifters. Almost anything. Does it hurt more or less when it's a situation with nothing to forgive? Less, if they have to kill him. Even less if they'll succeed.
But he does worry. Constant calculations and little predictions, all over actions he cannot avoid. It's futile. Even he recognizes not all futile behaviors are without value. There's logic in already having such data processed and on file.
"User Seraphita organized a reunion with User Ovelia," Azoth says, because there's no reason for that information to be hidden from Ragnell, and because that statement is perhaps enough on its own to explain how Azoth may feel about the explosive force of pinkness.
"She submitted an impossible order: to make Ovelia happy." All Azoth can do is bring her more pain the way things are.
He goes quiet as Ragnell answers his question. There are good ones. He's seen that, too. And he's seen some start on an awkward foot and get better. Improve. Learn and grow and be less awful.
But indeed, why does Azoth ask?
"I think I do," he replies. If only it were a slip back into informal speech and not a painfully literal uncertainty. Azoth always knows what he feels and the data behind it except in one instance: missing data.
Azoth looks toward Kahedin. "...I think I'm going to remember."
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.
Ragnell likes to keep others on their toes. That includes her friends, and it *especially* includes her enemies.
"Oh yeah? Yeah, I s'pose it would be useful," she remarks, leaning forward to put her chin in one hand and her elbow on her knee. "I told you before that the Drifter crowd is mostly full o' softies. I can think o' maybe *two* folks who'd hold me to meaningful task 'bout the shit I've done. They'd still fight to stop me, but off the battlefield, it's all good." She chuckles. "Well, not like I hold their fightin' me against *them* either. Guess that makes it easier for all of us."
A reunion with Ovelia... Ragnell nods, expression neutral as she gazes out at the snowy expanses. All this cold must be really nice for his internals, but it must be troubling when it melts. If there were a way to apply the cold but not the water... But she puts that thought aside as Azoth continues.
"Oh," she utters. "Yeah, that'd be a tough 'un the way you are now, huh. It's a direct contradiction o' what other orders you got goin' on. Guess Sera didn't think that one through." She kind of doubts Seraphita thinks *most* things through, but she doesn't dislike that about her. "I'm glad you got to see Ovelia again, though. You weren't even sure she was still alive, huh?" She smiles down at him. "How'd that all go?"
To remember. Ragnell falls silent for a moment at that, her own gaze following his towards the Shrine now coming into sight. "..." She sits up straight, both hands now down on his shoulder. "Remember, huh," she murmurs. "That how important this next piece is to ya? And you think... you're gonna remember some things you don't like about humans. Is that it?"
After all, why else confirm her own feelings towards them unless he thinks his own opinion might soon change?
<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.
There are more jokes he could make if his socialization algorithms hadn't been shut off in this mess. He's working with what he can, how he can. Xantia told him they were important. Critically important. He meant it when he said he didn't understand. But he'd have preferred it if there had been time for her to explain.
"We have already established your charm." And with no humor in his tone, this is stated as objective fact.
Ragnell has met with Ovelia too, Azoth is almost sure, though he understands why there isn't much they can discuss. Another thing he likes about Ragnell: she knows what she has to withhold.
"Verifying her status was critical to me," he says. "But it emphasized the absence of our --" And Azoth stops, because he does not have a convenient word for this. Family is what they had called each other once, but most humans consider family to have roles. Which roles any of them filled was undefined. "... Brother is the closest approximation, but remains inaccurate to my definition of the term." He shakes his head. "User Ovelia's position is more stable. That is most important."
But she's still a prisoner.
And so is Azoth.
"The encryption on my memories is reacting and attempting remote downloads. A key is nearby." Azoth gives a few slow beeps, an idle signal he's calculating something significant enough to slow even his processing power down -- in this case, because there is no answer to find. "Incomplete data was installed during the battle."
Azoth looks over one of his claws. Water runs down his form where ice melts. "...My objectives are fragmented. An objective is required for operation. Available data provided the goal of protecting entities that meet specified requirements by repelling entities that threaten harm to them -- overrides provide different goals. They take priority."
They always will, even with this. Even if he could get the full shape of his objectives back, probably. If he can. But that's something of a side explanation.
"Understanding the requirements necessitates overwriting sections of my current data. Contradictions are forming. Humans fulfilling those requirements is... a contradiction."
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.
Despite the fact that the comment about her charm is stated completely deadpan, Ragnell throws her head back and roars with laughter. "Shit! Hell yeah we have!" she declares, grinning broadly. She sure doesn't confirm or deny that she's met Ovelia already; for now, she simply leans forward and nods at Azoth's explanation of how things went. "Sorry to hear 'bout your brother-figure still bein' missin', but I'm glad you were able to see her, at least." Her gaze and voice soften a bit. "It's good to know someone you love, who you haven't seen in forever, is still alive."
But she is indeed still a prisoner, as is Azoth. But, if Ragnell has anything to do with it, not for long.
"Hmmm... So you don't need the physical key to access it?" she notes, eyebrows rising. That's interesting too. "Do you still need the actual key for the complete installation, or will it be enough to just get close?"
His objectives are fragmented. Yeah, that *would* mess him up. It's not like Ragnell didn't know already, either. And humans create contradictions, just because of all the overwriting he has to do... "Yeah, humans *are* full o' contradictions. That's how Malevolence forms, you know," she comments, looking up at the nearby mountains. "I don't think a robot like you has to worry about Malevolence, 'specially if you were made in Filgaia, but... it sure isn't fun t' deal with. But I guess that's beside the point."
She leans over, elbows meeting her knees, her face close to his. "What you're basically sayin' is that you're worried, if I'm anti-human, an' you're required to protect humans who fulfill specific requirements, that we're gonna have t' fight over it, yeah? I guess that's somethin' I can't jus' tell you not to worry about, either."
She smirks. "But I will anyway. 'Cuz, just 'cuz I don't like humans, doesn't mean I'm gonna go outta my way to murder every one. An' even if I did--" She shrugs. "I wouldn't hold it against you for goin' out o' your way to stop me. It's not like we haven't fought before, an' I think you know I'm not so easy to kill."
<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.
Without the ability to give Ragnell his own smiles in response -- whether playfully showing mild exasperation or grinning right along with it, or both -- what Azoth does instead is perk his antenna. But then it returns quickly to neutral position.
"He is confirmed dead," Azoth corrects, still without any emotion to his tone. "We were both there when it happened."
He does not elaborate. He could. He would, if Ragnell asked him to. But it is not something to speak of unprompted so casually. Not because of the overrides. Not because of any restriction.
But Ragnell is right. Ovelia is alive, and it meant so much to Azoth to be able to confirm it. Something else aches in him where the holes in his data sit. Forever. Who hasn't he seen in forever? Sometimes it feels like people he's known go back that far.
"Required proximity unknown. Installation attempts begin once the signal is in range. This is not an override function. It is an automatic system attempting data repair and restoration." Pause. There is a low toned beep from him. "...Who did this to me?"
He knows that is not a question Ragnell can answer, but the query is one constantly in his calculations. Why has he been ravaged in this way? Who broke him apart into these lesser pieces?
"They are contradictive in their behavior," Azoth agrees. "I refer to their status as an entity to protect. They do not fulfill the requirements. Yet they exist within those parameters. This should not be possible. ...It is not an override. My motivation to protect them remains the same despite this recognition."
He goes quiet. Ice melts around him.
"For now."
Protecting humans. Enemies of mankind. People within his variables where he does not want them. If Ragnell fought against humanity as he was now, he would fight to protect them. But is that what 'should' be? Is it what will be?
"I do not want betray you," he repeats, as he'd said to Liath once, and with a conviction of wanting he does not always permit himself to use. "You execute your own behaviors and set rules to make this an unlikely scenario." Azoth cannot betray a Ragnell who sets rules of engagement as such.
"...I do not understand humanity as an enemy at this present moment. I do not want to be alone when I do."
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.
Ragnell's smile fades when Azoth confirms his brother-figure is dead. Even if they both witnessed it, there are scenarios in which this might not be... but when it comes to a friend, Ragnell's not so insensitive to pry into it or suggest that Azoth is mistaken. "...That so. My mistake, then," she replies, pulling down the brim of her hat. She considers leaving it at that--she's not exactly eager to go into painful, raw feelings--but instead, she adds, "If you ever feel like talkin' about it... I'll listen."
*Now* she leaves it at that.
Required proximity unknown... Well, that tracks too. There's a lot about himself Azoth doesn't know. She of course can't answer that question, but she understands what a rhetorical question is in the first place. She pats his shoulder chassis twice to convey her sympathy. At least he has company in his fretting.
"*Ah*, I see what you're sayin'," she replies. She wasn't wrong, but... she was looking at it from the wrong angle. She smiles. Something he wants to do even though he doesn't have to... Though it's sure try someone might divest him of *that*, too. Technically, they already have.
"I'm not worried about that," she replies. "Even if we did fight against each other, I wouldn't hold it against you. An' if protecting humanity is something you *want* to do, not because anyone is makin' you do it but because it's what *you* want... then I respect that. There's worse reasons to fight someone than because they're standin' up for what they believe in. As long as you don't go handin' me over to Solaris or blabbin' what we talk about to whoever, an' I really don't think you're gonna do that."
But... so that's what it is. Ragnell turns her gaze up towards the skies. "...You won't be," she states. It carries a certainty that's not unlike a promise, even if she doesn't name it as such.
She hooks her feet underneath her, then leaps off his shoulder to land in the snow ahead of him. "So let's get you to that piece o' yours an' get this over with already, huh?" she says, looking up at him with a faint half-smile. "If it's gonna happen anyway, we may as well get it done sooner rather 'n later." She shrugs and starts walking forward. "We'll figure out the rest after."
<Pose Tracker> Azoth has posed.
Does he feel like talking about it? No. Yes. There's data supporting both. There is nothing she can say. There is nothing anyone can say. She deserves to know. Everyone deserves to know. Yet no one should be burdened knowing. Something raw and heavy, that no one should have to respond to. He's only told Lydia, because he did not know how else to make Lydia understand.
She didn't -- not in the way he meant for her to. It hurts as much as it makes him grateful.
He's silent a long time, letting the idea war back and forth.
"Another time," he finally says without any emotion to indicate a promise. It is not data she critically needs now. It's not another burden she needs to help him carry, when today she's already helped mend him back together and keep him going to his objective a little long, for better or for worse.
He's not sure yet which, only that he must continue.
"Our conversations are held in confidence," Azoth says. He has never explicitly informed her of that before, but there's much he discusses with Ragnell he does not share with others. "... Subject Liath excepted."
That might be a joke. It also well may not be a joke.
But Azoth looks ahead to the shrine, and he nods to Ragnell before continuing relentlessly onward.
<Pose Tracker> Seraph Ragnell has posed.
The face Ragnell makes when Azoth says their conversations are in confidence, save from Liath, might well be beyond valuing. Then she heaves a sigh and spreads her arms in a broad shrug.
"Well... Liath's fine," she says. Looks like he's got the green light to continue.
On that, and on this.