2024-01-09: Emotional Drain

• Log: Emotional Drain
• Cast: Hannah Curie, Eleanor Klein
• Where: Celadon City - Centropolis Plaza
• Date: January 09, 2024
• Summary: Hannah has been troubled by some of her recent experiences with her magic, and finally confides in Eleanor exactly what's been going on.

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=====================<* Celadon City - Centropolis Plaza *>=====================

In the distant past, Celadon City was simply "Centropolis," owing to its housing of many central functions of government and state. Eventually, the local council decided the city could use an image change to attract more travellers and events, and thus Celadon City was born under an ambitious and prominent civil plan that saw the rise of many department stores and haute couture boutiques. Today, Celadon City is the crown jewel of shopping and consumer goods, and virtually anything can be found here, if you know where to look. Celadon City also houses the Nede Times, Energy Nede's first and foremost publication.

Centropolis Plaza rests at the centre of Celadon City, and boasts a large fountain designed by a famous artisan. Pidoves and other small Bird Pokemon often rest on its many tiers. Around the plaza is a multitude of delicatessens and open-terrace restaurants, making the spot popular with office workers taking their lunch break, and as a gathering spot.

BGM: Pokemon: Let's Go, Eevee & Pikachu! - Celadon City - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRmmK8mm9FE

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah has been keeping to herself lately. She hasn't quite withdrawn into herself, not entirely, but she's been fairly distracted as of late. Certainly, she lucked into some employment helping out a local professor, and she's been doing her best to learn about the new world they've found themselves on, but she hasn't gotten out exploring much.

But finally, it seems, she couldn't keep whatever was bugging her inside any longer, so she reached out to Eleanor and invited her to lunch. They're at a nice outdoor cafe somewhere in Celadon, the sun (or its artificial simulation) is shining, the skies are clear, and the cafe is cozy and charming.

Hannah's dressed in new Nedian clothing, a long striped shirt, navy blue skirt, and a pink vest. Right now she is poking at a plate of spaghetti and... has barely touched anything. She's been a bit quiet and sullen this entire time, in fact, despite being the one who made the invitation to talk.

Zephyr, meanwhile, is chowing down on some kind of meat-based dish. The waiter didn't even bat an eye when Hannah ordered for him, though he did give Zephyr a curious look. Hannah had tried to explain, when he asked, that Zephyr wasn't a pokemon, but he seemed confused enough by that that Hannah eventually gave up and just claimed he was a regional variant of a Spearow.

This seemed to satisfy the man.

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

Eleanor has been busy, of course. Keeping up on reports, sending reports through the portal and otherwise, negotiations with Energy Nede's government for ARMS to operate here...

Maybe some Drifters are content to go with an unofficial sanction, but ARMS is in need of something a little more binding, as an extranational military. ...Which itself is more than a little strange in Nede.

Regardless, she can certainly make time for Hannah when she asks her to lunch. It's a lovely cafe, and Eleanor has another friend out with her: a little Vulpix who sits in the other chair, daintily polishing off a Poke Puff. Eleanor is wearing a cuter version of her unusual, an orange skirt suit with a little black tie and a clasp in red.

She has a plate of a local salad, but...

"So what's on your mind?" Eleanor asks Hannah. She hasn't gone for dessert yet. She assuredly will.

"I know you had something you wanted to talk about..."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah sighs and puts her fork down, slumping back in her chair somewhat. She was glad to see her friend, and Eleanor negotiating on behalf of ARMS was certainly an excellent reason not to go galavanting around using her magic willy nilly.

Not that she needs more reasons, of course, but it's nice to have an extra excuse.

Getting in touch with people back home had certainly helped her mood, though, at least a little bit. Though it would still be nice for 'home' to be a bit closer to Aquvy right about now... but at least being on the right planet is a start.

And who knows? She might have a home in Ignas she never knew about. But those are thoughts for later.

Finally, after a long amount of internal debate (read: stalling), she sighs again and says, "I've... been havin' problems with my magic." A beat. "More problems. And..." She winces a bit. "... I found a way to... control my magic more reliably."

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

"Pii," says Vulpix, tilting her head at Hannah as she sighs. Eleanor watches her, too. She sets down her fork as well. Then, she waits. Eleanor watches Hannah, until she finishes stalling, and...

She looks sympathetic. "The energy flows are different here, aren't they?" Eleanor asks. "I've noticed it too. But it's not just that, is it?" A pause.

Eleanor's eyes widen slightly. "You did?" she asks. "Then by all means, tell me! That's very big!"

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah has a tired smile for Vulpix, trying to be reassuring for her but mostly trying to reassure herself. Zephyr looks on Hannah with distress, but... he already knows what's coming.

"It is," she says of the Ley. "Had problems on Marduk, too, but I kinda managed to adapt. The Ley bein' weaker meant more of... whatever it is what's wrong with my magic was leakin' in.... And here... it's just... I dunno. Too neat? But I ain't so sure that's the only issue."

Eleanor wants to know how she can control her magic, and Hannah averts her gaze, looking out to the street. "... You ain't gonna like it."

There is a very long silence, and finally Hannah sighs, still not looking directly at Eleanor. "Remember Innominat's Domain?"

How could anyone forget that experience?

Her gaze is very far away now, and her voice is quiet and troubled. "When everyone else was goin down, I went down too..." She closes her eyes. "But then... then..." Her voice quivers for a moment, and she has to force herself to steady it.

"Somethin' just... clicked." She shivers at the memory. "I... I got up... an' my magic... just... worked. Better'n it ever has."

Zephyr takes off from his perch to fly over to Hannah, who pulls him into her arms. They spend a long moment like that, with Hannah trying to still the unease she feels about dreding up those memories.

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

The Vulpix stares at Hannah for a moment. Then, she looks at Zephyr. "Vuu..." She doesn't seem upset, at least. But Eleanor reaches out to give her a pat as she listens.

"I see," Eleanor answers thoughtfully. "It does make sense that in a differing environment, your Crests' adaptations would function differently. It's sort of like how you have to bake differently at different sea levels. The 'pressure' differs." Pause. "I learned that from Ashley," she explains.

But that silence... No, she isn't likely to like it from that description. "Tell me anyway."

The Domain. Eleanor straightens, quite serious, and listens. But Hannah's voice shifts, and... Ah.

Eleanor reaches a hand across the table, offering hers wordlessly to Hannah first. But she is not wordless for long. "So," Eleanor says, "When your emotions were suppressed, your magic worked better. That does give some credence to the hyphothesis that your emotional state affects your magic," Eleanor says gently.

"But I don't think it says anything terrible about you. It's... hm." She cosniders. "Thinking on it... it's not ust your emotions, either. Innominat's Domain suppressed many things. It was a gigantic, huge pressure. If you think about it, your Crests' difference is that they apply 'pressure' to your magic. If you already have the perfect defense against the dissonance, then it would make sense that your magic would work all the better."

"I can only speculate without testing, of course. But much of this we can test without having to use your magic; I have spells from my Book that can analyze the local Ley."

She then says, "...But we don't have to talk about that. I want to help, but I want to be there for you more than that."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Zephyr chirps to Vulpix. Though it doesn't sound at all like the word 'Zephyr' or 'Red-tailed hawk.'

Weird.

Hannah nods. "Yeah, that makes sense," she says of Eleanor's analogy. "Nede is just... just a lot different from Filgaia or Lunar. At least... at least now I might be able to get more crest graphs to start workin' on new adaptations. Don't have to try'n make the crest graphs from scratch."

She reaches out to take Eleanor's offered hand, her other arm still cuddling Zephyr close. (It's a bit awkward for Zephyr but... Hannah needs it right now. He doesn't mind.) Her emotions being suppressed meant that her magic worked better. "... seems that way."

Eleanor offers a possible hypothesis, one relying on her crest graphs. "... maybe, but..." She shivers again. "It wasn't... it wasn't just that, it was... It was me, Eleanor. When that domain suppressed all my emotions... I felt fine. I could stand up. I could think. I... I wanted to help reseal Innominat, not because... I was scared for my family n' friends, not because... I was mad, it was just... just... the logical thing to do."

A deep shudder. "Somethin' in me can get by without emotions, at least a little bit, n' that scares me."

Hannah nods as Eleanor says she can analyze the Ley with her own magic. "... we should probably do that, then..."

She gives Eleanor's hand a squeeze as she says she wants to be there for her. "Thanks... I appreciate that."

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

Super weird!

"Yes," Eleanor says. "There are reasons for that, I think. They have to tightly regulate their environment just to keep it going. Contrast weakened Filgaia or wild Lunar, and well..." She gestures. "I am glad you're on track to adapt, at least."

She squeezes Hannah's fingers. "Oh, Hannah..." She looks concerned, feeling strongly for her friend. "I see..."

"I understand. That would scare me, as well. Our feelings are such a large part of who we are. I'm not sure what that means; I don't know enough about Innominat to know."

But, "We can do that, analyze the local Ley. We'll do it together, if you like; you can help me interpret my readings. It would be useful for your lessons, the experience."

Eleanor smiles gently. "I care about you, Hannah. You're very precious to me. So if there's anything I can do..."

She pauses. "Come to think, I do know someone who might know more. Even odds whether she'd tell me, of course, but if I express how important it is Magilou might..."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

"Filgaia's weak, but it still ain't as tame as Lunar is... it... it makes sense, considerin' all the work they put into managin' the environment, but... their technological level is... staggerin'."

Hannah closes her eyes, dropping her head down to bring it nearer to Zephyr's. "Those five years I spent on my own... I... I closed myself off so much... tried... tried to pretend things were okay, that I didn't need my friends n' family, because I was keepin' 'em safe..."

Emotions are such a large part of who they are. She lifts her head again to look at Eleanor, her eyes wet. Her voice is quiet and hoarse. "I can't go back to that, Eleanor. I... I sort of reached an equilibrium for a while, but... cuttin' myself off from everyone made me miserable. I can't go back, I just..." She lets go of Zephyr for a moment to wipe her eyes.

"S-sorry... just... been so worried lately... I think all that worry is spillin' over into my spellcastin' too, even on top of Nede's Ley."

Hannah nods. "I'd like to help with that. Gettin' back to lessons would be nice, too."

Another squeeze of Eleanor's hand. "You're really important to me, too... I'm glad... I'm glad this time, I'm here with you."

She stiffens though, as Eleanor brings up Magilou, then glances aside. "You can go talk to her. Once was enough for me," she mutters darkly.

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

"It is," Eleanor agrees. "It makes me wonder what will come for Filgaia, in time. Will Klein become such a large city as this, one day?"

She shakes her head, then, and reaches out her other hand to take Hannah's in both. "Hannah," she says softly. "You don't have to. You don't have to go back to that. Not for your magic, not because of Innominat, not for anything. We'll make sure of that."

A pause. "You don't have to apologize for worrying. Even if it does feed in, it's natural to do. There's quite a lot to worry about, after all."

She smiles, faintly. "We can do that."

And, "...I'm glad, too. But... ah?" Eleanor stops. "Ah. So you have met her, then." She doesn't sound surprised.

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

"Maybe... though... it'll probably look a lot different'n this, if it does..."

Hannah nods, a bit numbly, as Eleanor reassures her, letting her hand be taken. "Thanks," she whispers. "Honestly and truly."

There's a lot to worry about. "Th-there kinda is, huh... I'm... I'm glad I'm involved, though... Even if... even if it means havin' to worry about things. Bein' involved and helpin' is still better'n being by my loneseom," she says firmly.

"Yeah, it..." Hannah grunts a little in frustration. "She started by gettin' on my case about my magic, then I tried leavin' and she called me out for withdrawin'--Well, actually she compared me to a testudine--an' then I tried openin' up, and... and..."

Zephyr chirps and leans up to nuzzle at Hannah gently, and Hannah gently embraces him with her free hand again.

She closes her eyes.

"She said some stuff."

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

"Likely. Celadon isn't a port!" Eleanor smiles. But her smile is smaller, when Hannah thanks her. "I mean it," she insists.

"I'm glad you're involved, too. It gives me one less thing to worry about, anyway. ...And you can help. That's important."

But Magilou? "A testudine," Eleanor replies flatly. Then, she looks at Hannah with some concern that turns into a sort of hapless wryness.

"If it makes you feel better," Eleanor says, "When she first 'said some stuff' to me, I slapped her across the face."

A sigh. "Not my finest moment. Magilou is a great expert in many subjects, but one of those subjects is getting under people's skin."

"Do you want to talk about what she said?"

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

"I mean, that but like... I dunno. Klein's growth'll probably be... more organic, you know?"

Hannah nods. "A testudine." She says it like it makes perfect sense.

Hannah blinks as Eleanor admits to slapping Magilou. She opens her mouth to start to say something, then stops, closes it again, and just blinks.

"Wow."

Not her proudest moment. "Honestly, Eleanor, can't say I blame ya. Kinda wishin' I had the mental fortitude to slug her myself."

Hannah actually punching someone might be just about as rare as Eleanor slapping someone. But Susanna didn't teach her how to throw a punch for nothing, after all.

She's good at getting under peoples' skins. "You're tellin' me," she mutters.

Does she want to talk about it?

There is a looooong silence as she thinks about it.

She glances aside. "... not really, but..." She looks to Eleanor again. "Maybe if I tell you you'll be mad enough to slap Magilou for me. That might make me feel better."

She doesn't sound like she's joking, either.

A weary sigh. "Well... it all started when we were fightin' Xenobia an' Omega, up on Lunar. She saw me castin' magic and... an' well, she called me an evil sorceress in the makin'."

"Been tryin' to avoid her ever since, but... she found 'bout a week ago. I was... well, tryin' to practice controllin' my magic. She started..." She struggles for a description, then gives up and says, "Can I just say she started bein' Magilou?"

"Anyway, she kept pesterin' me for details, an' eventually I... I mentioned the lab we've been lookin' for."

Hannah's face falls. There's clearly more to say, but it's taking her a moment to work up to it.

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

"Hmmm. That's true too," Eleanor reflecfts. "After all, the central ward is already spilling out of the castle..." She likes talking about Klein, as a rule. But Magilou is another matter entirely.

Hannah is surprised, "...It said more about me than it ultimately said about her," Eleanor says. "That's the thing with Magilou. She's good at showing you things about yourself, whether you like it or not."

She pauses. Hannah thinks, and...

"Ah." She nods. An evil sorceress, was it? Eleanor winces at that. But she can see why Magilou might say it. And then, of course, they spoke there...

"Yes," Eleanor says. "I'm sure she did. ...Take your time."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah likes Klein, too. She wishes she'd started visiting it sooner.

But it takes her a moment to gather her thoughts about Magilou. Hannah closes her eyes as she plays the conversation back in her mind. "I told her there was somethin' in my magic, some... corruption or impurity, and she said... she said it was the Earthpulse infectin' me, instead, keepin' me occupied..."

"Started talkin' about... about bein' magically engineered..."

Hannah's eyes squeeze tight. "Tried... tried explain' I was a regular sorceress, there was just somethin' extra causin' problems, and... a-and..."

Her eyes are already watering again as she looks up to Eleanor, but she's trying to get through this. To open up, to not stay withdrawn. Her voice is a trembling, fragile thing but she perseveres. "She said I'd never been a regular sorceress. Th-that.. that... p-people don't..." Her hand squeezes both of Eleanor's tightly.

"So quiet and faint now. "Th-that they don't hollow normal children out, t-to make them dolls..."

"A-and she wanted to know..." Another tight squeeze, and then Zephyr suddenly takes off out of Hannah's lap as Hannah gets up to throw herself at Eleanor for a hug.

"... wh-whether I was... a s-success or failure..."

She's not quite sobbing, but the tears are flowing regardless.

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

Eleanor listens, frowning, as Hannah speaks. She knows enough about Magilou to know that there's wisdom in her hurtful statements, usually. So she listens. And she balances care for Hannah's feelings with care for solving Hannah's problem. ...Her actions balance towards the former, as she squeezes Hannah's hand more tightly than before, too.

And then Hannah throws herself at Eleanor, and Eleanor holds her close. "Shhh," she says. "It's all right. You're not there. You're not with her."

How to thread the needle? How to show...

"You're not a doll, or a hollow child."

Vulpix pads over to Zephyr, and looks to the both of them, worried. But Eleanor focuses on Hannah.

"...She puts helpful things in barbed statements. She makes you face who and what you are, what you feel, by presenting it in the worst possible light."

"...I don't know if you were 'engineered'," Eleanor says softly. "I won't lie; being found in a lab, it's possible that something like that is true. But I think if we consider her words, we might find a way to help you."

"But I'm here. We'll go at whatever pace works for you. And we'll do it together."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah knows Eleanor doesn't show affection openly like this often, that she's worried bout station...

Right now she doesn't really care about that.

(And she knows Eleanor likes hugs plenty anyway.)

She does calm down after a moment of Eleanor soothing her. She's not there. She's not confronting Magilou. Hannah slowly nods, and slowly calms down, but... doesn't let go of Eleanor. Not just yet.

Another slow nod at not being a doll or a hollow child. "... Thanks," she whispers.

Zephyr looks to Vulpix and gives her a worried chirp. He does what he can, but... his wingspan's not big enough for a hug, sometimes. But Eleanor can feel his worry and concern, at least, so that helps too.

"... I know," she admits, oh so quietly, to the possibility of being engineered. "Keep... tryin' to tell myself I wasn't. Or I might not be, or..." She closes her eyes. "Try to console myself by sayin' we just don't know, but..."

She opens her eyes again, staring out into the street. "... I know it's possible. I just... not knowin' is... is agonizin'."

Then she looks up to Eleanor. "... how's listenin' to Magilou gonna help?"

But Eleanor is here, and Hannah nods to that. "Thanks, Eleanor. I'm..." She reaches up to wipe a fresh tear from her cheek. "I'm really glad I have you, an' Suzie, an' everyone else to help me now."

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

She doesn't, but on Energy Nede that seems to be less a factor. Not that she knows the culture all that well so far, but... Well, that's beside the point.

Vulpix does what she can, and that's mostly reaching out to place a paw on Zephyr's talon for a moment. "Piii..."

But Eleanor hears Hannah.

"I understand," Eleanor says. "Not knowing, with something like this... It's hard. It burns, doesn't it?"

She shakes her head. "But..."

First, "You're welcome. I'm glad we can help. And we will. Susanna is one of those who were in Ignas, my reports tell me. So you can reach her, if you go through the rift."

"...But as for Magilou," she says, carefully, "She has a way of showing you when you haven't thought something through, too. What if it is that your Crest magic is what's 'interfering' with your powers? What if it turns out that the only thing holding your power back... is that you learned to hold it back? That if not for the path you've walked, you might have come to difficulty another way?"

"...If we do consider that your difficulty is the baseline, and Crest Sorcery is something that tames it..."

"We might be in a better position to help you. At least, I want to run some tests based on that possibility."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Zephyr looks down, surprised as Vulpix reaches a paw out to his talon. He looks at Vulpix curiously, then stretches out a wing to brush it against her side, with another soft chirp.

he appreciates it, it seems.

It burns... Hannah nods silently.

Susanna is in Ignas. "I know... she's been lookin' for the lab... figures she'd show up when the other Drifters got there, though." She sits up a little, drying her eyes some more. "I should do that... do... do you need me here? Or are you fine with me goin' an' trackin' her down?"

"You're doin' negotiatin' for ARMS, so... feels like I should stick around, you know? In case somethin' happens." She pauses. "... think your telepathy reaches through the portal? Or our empathite...?"

She's silent for a long while as she considers that possibility that Magilou suggested. That her crest sorcery is just interfering with whatever it is she really is. She looks at her hands, as if pondering what else may lay within them.

"... If my difficulty is the baseline... if my Crest Sorcery is interferein'... then... What would happen without my Crest Sorcery?" She sounds... shaken, by the possibility.

She doesn't want power. Not for its own sake. And yet, whtever her difficulties, it seems to give it to her in spades.

She looks up to Eleanor. "How... how am I holdin' somethin' back I don't even understand?"

She slowly nods as Eleanor says she wants to run tests. "... okay. The more we figure out... the better off I aim in figurin' out how to tame it."

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

Eleanor nods as Hannah talks about what she should do, but, "Oh, I'll be fine. Xiu is here." Her wife can help if anything comes up! "...I don't know that either would," Eleanor admits. "I can't say for sure. I've never tested it. But I do know that they don't use Empathite here..."

But...

"We interact with things we don't understand all the time. Gravity holds us down, but most people don't know about it. You've been feeling it out--like touching the walls in a dark room, to make your way around without sight. I can only speculate what would happen without your Crest Sorcery, and don't intend to. Nothing has changed yet."

"...But I think if I can run these tests, if I can learn more, then we may have options. And if we can find that lab that Susanna is looking for..."

She smiles. "See? There's hope. You don't have to do this alone, either."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

Hannah nods. Eleanor's got Xiumei for support, that's true. "Well, I sent Zephyr scoutin' the rift, and as long as we're both close, at least, our empathic bond seems to work. Could always ask if he'd be willin' to carry messages..." She glances to Zephyr, who chirps.

Hannah nods. "Guess that's an option. And yeah, they use cell phones here, but those ain't gonna work on Filgaia or Lunar, so cross-world communication's still an issue. Been thinkin' 'bout pickin' one up, but..." She laughs, a little helplessly. "... honestly just how advanced the tech here is scares me a bit, so I ain't done it yet."

She's been working! She could probably afford one... she's used to making do with very little, after all.

She shivers. "I ain't ever been able to cast magic without my crests... not so sure I wanna try, but... let's run the tests." As for the lab... "... maybe I should take some time an' track Suzie down. It'll be good to see her again, even if gettin' back to Damzen'll be difficult, for the moment. I could send some messages back home via Memory Cube."

She looks up to Eleanor and gives her a shakey smile. "Thanks, Eleanor. I know I said it before, but... I'm glad I got you in my life again." She goes for one more quick but tight hug. "Maybe I'll take a week or so an' go check in on Filgaia. You gonna be okay without me for that long?"

<Pose Tracker> Eleanor Klein has posed.

"Hmmm. Interesting. I wonder, then." She is... somewhat reluctant to attempt to cast her mind through the rift, though, for some reason. The question of telepathy will remain unasked and unanswered for now.

"That's fair. I might! Once I get some things in order. Some of us haven't been working as much..." A laugh, faintly.

But, "I think you should do that. Especially because getting back to Damzen will be difficult at the moment."

Eleanor smiles back, and hugs Hannah, too. "I'm glad, too," she answers. "And that sounds good. I'll be fine! I have plenty to keep me busy."

"...For now," Eleanor says, "How about dessert? I saw the most wonderful cake in the display box..."

<Pose Tracker> Hannah Curie has posed.

"I mean, it stands to reason, if there's a time-space bridge between the two, that the distance through it is still 'the walk between the two sides', but... it does feel a bit odd, since we're simultaneously two distances away from each other like that."

"Handy for scoutin' for soldiers, though."

Hannah laughs a little, mostly at herself. "Eh heh... well... guess I kiiiinda just fell into old habits, you know?"

She picks up a napkin to dab at her face and wipe it dry. "Alright, then. I gotta take care of a few things here, but I'll let you know 'fore I go out. An' I can carry any messages you need delivered, too."

"Thanks for hearin' me out. I feel a bit better gettin' all that off my chest."

She perks up at the mention of dessert. "Sure!" She chats excitedly as she moves to hastily eat at least some of her meal. "Were you lookin' at the chocolate or the strawberry, 'cause they both looked good..."