2017-05-11: Tales from the Gutter III
- Cutscene: Tales from the Gutter III
- Cast: Dva, Jedan, Riesenlied
- Where: Photosphere Gutter
- Date: 11 May 2017
- Summary: We look upon the tale of how Dva first came to the Gutter, sick of her lack of responsibility...
"Is today's operation an underwater one?" "... no, today's operation entails patrolling the Arctican wastelands and ensuring that no Elesian detachments slip under our watch." "What about tomorrow's?" "Monthly training drill with the Beasts, starting from morning and continuing until afternoon." "And the day after?" "Dva, look--" "No, YOU look at me!"
The blue-schemed, slender Metal Demon stares at her supervisor straight in the eye. The little fins on her sides flip up and down, as if acting like huffy, angry dog ears.
"I don't know who had the gall and the bright idea to build me but it's been approximately--" She tilts her head, "Three hundred and twenty three years and I keep asking every day and I haven't heard a single bit of us ever being involved with any body of water bigger than that growing little pool down in the Gutter we affectionately call the Pond!" "It isn't my fault that--" "I wanna be useful! I want to use these hydro-jets! I've got state of the art Screw Modules! My Water-resistance terrain ranking reports last month all returned 'S'! ... who even makes a scale like that, anyway?" "Dva, you'll get your turn--" "I want it nooow! I'm tired of waiting! I want to skim underneath the waters of Arctica and shoot torpedos and be useful!"
Her supervisor lets out a very long-suffering sounding sigh, like this weren't new to him at all.
"I'm sorry, Dva, but there just simply aren't any water stages in our current efforts and campaigns." "I'm gonna kick a fuss about this upstairs!!" "Wait!"
~Later~
"Aaaaaaaaand that's why I'm here," Dva stares up towards the heavyset and put-upon looking demon currently holding the clipboard containing her portfolio.
Jedan grunts quietly and scratches his head, saying, "They kicked you out for that? You must've been a real nuisance."
"Well, there's also the bit where they said I'd be best off being spare resources but I said 'poo poo to that!' and ran away and took a dive straight into the Pond! Ha! Showed them that my hydro-jets came in handy for once!"
"... did they come in useful?"
A pause.
"Well... no. I hit the bottom really quickly since it was like a meter deep. Pond isn't an exaggeration."
There's a low-sounding groan from the bigger, veteran demon as he shakes his head, setting the clipboard aside where it lands ontop of a thick, messy pile of other kinds of papers. The office of the Ebony Wings, even within the Roost, is not exactly... what one would call state of the art -- neither Riesenlied nor the Wings get a lot of funding from upstairs, and there's a little hiss and a crackle from the P.A. system sitting in the corner of the room, which potentially means that in cases of breach and invasion, they could be none the wiser. Or, you know, fires, but most metal demons don't exactly care too much about fire.
Some even love it.
"I'll... speak to our leader," Jedan eventually decides, cautiously. "Though I think you're kind of half-cocked and entirely crazy for going all the way down here when, you know, you're not exactly Tainted."
Dva pushes her hand up her opposing arm like she's rolling up an invisible sleeve. "I'll inject Taint into my metals if that's what it takes to fit around here! What, is it like some kinda invite-only hipster club where you gotta prove you got the sicks?!"
"That's not it--"
"Just lemme speak to her already!"
The door opens again, and a familiar winged woman steps through holding a clipboard of her own. "Dva, was it?"
"Ooh! If it isn't Riesey-poo!"
Riesenlied stares down towards her with a nonplussed expression. "I'm not sure I like that nickname."
"Well too bad! That's your nickname, much like how I call this grampa Jeb!"
Jedan lets out another put-upon groan and is about to retort, when Riese holds her hand up. "I understand where you're coming from, and if they did officially brand you a recall, then it wouldn't necessarily be safe for you upstairs, either. But I don't want you to think that it will be easy to survive down here."
Dva's grin seems maniacal at that point, ear to ear in length. "What, a girl like me can take care of herself! Punch a couple o' Beasts, pounce a bunch of guys with two heads who go 'gnarr'?"
"It's not about violence," Riese corrects. "Down here in the Gutter, we respect each other. We don't receive very many funds from upstairs, and the elders frequently gloss us over in their budget reports. The Tainted make do with each other. We are family here, all of us. Do you understand that?"
"Family? You make it sound like a human cult," Dva sulks.
"You'd be surprised how many ideas down here came from the outside," Riese speaks in turn, patiently. "Now, we'll try you out for the following week. But the Wings do not ride alone, and I would not have you do so either."
"Eh? Who's gonna be my partner, then?" Dva asks.
Riese points up.
A baby-blue dragon with frosted scales has decided to sneak up behind Dva, eyes puppy-like as it looms tall over her with its tongue out. "BWEHHH--"