2017-12-20: Where Memories Began

• Log: Where Memories Began
• Cast: Xantia, Fei Fong Wong, Jolen Crann (NPC), Martha Crann (NPC)
• Where: Baskar Colony
• Date: December 20, 2017
• Summary: Xantia calls on Fei to support her in a visit to the Baskar family who helped her recover after she was found with no memories, dreading their reaction after having left without saying anything. As it turns out, she never had anything to worry about.

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=============================<* Baskar Colony *>==============================

Baskar Colony is the closest thing to a capital for the Baskar Tribe on Ignas. Nestled high in the northwestern mountains, this small village is where many of the Baskar elders dwell. The homes here are simple but imposing structures, often carved into the walls of the mountains themselves. The scant wood here he goes to providing fire and warmth for cold nights. Provisions are limited to what is given by families who live here, as there aren't any dedicated stores; similarly, no inns or hotels provide respite. However, the elders' knowledge will sometimes lure the determined and desperate to this place.

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKKhBT0A1pE

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

If there's any place that might count as a hometown for Xantia, it's the Baskar Colony. It's where her memories begin. Before waking up in that bed, it's nothing but a haze, at best. It doesn't exactly feel like home to her, though. Which might have something to do with the fact that she left pretty much as soon as she felt well enough to.

Still, she owes a lot to the couple who took care of her during that time. Back then, she thought things through even more poorly than she does now, and so she only later realized that she may have caused them serious grief and worry by leaving so abruptly.

That's when guilt started weighing on her. She never knew it could be this crippling. Despite her intentions to visit, properly thank, and apologize to the people who first took her in when she had nothing, knew nothing, and had nowhere to go, she just... couldn't do it. Even when she was in the actual Colony, even right outside the front door a couple of times, she just couldn't get herself to take that final step. Later, it would feel silly, and she wouldn't know what she was afraid of, and yet, once she returned, the same thing would happen all over again.

It was obvious that she couldn't do this, not alone. She felt silly asking Fei for this favor, and realized it must seem entirely unlike her to not be able to just go and do something without thinking, but still... it was clear that she needed somebody to support her. Even if these were 'nice people', according to Xantia's incredibly detailed description of character, she had to admit that she was worried how they would react to her return, having left the Colony all alone after having been specifically told not to do that.

And so, once again, Xantia finds herself standing where it all began, roughly one year later. A free-standing house of solid stone and wood construction, quite unlike the more typical nomadic Baskar dwellings. A home for a family in relatively high standing, settled down on a permanent basis. Carvings of Guardian sigils line the doorframe, befitting of those who strongly adhere to the Baskar faith.

As always, Xantia's mood is easily guessed just by looking at her. She is uncharacteristically anxious, seeming intimidated just by looking at the structure. Support is clearly needed, and she looks for such by turning to Fei. "You really think they're going to forgive me? I haven't even let them know how I was doing all this time... If I left suddenly without saying anything, and showed up a year later like nothing happened, you'd be mad, right?"

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

If Fei thought it was silly to ask someone to help, he wouldn't have offered to visit these people with her in the first place.

"Oh yeah, I'd be really upset." Fei tells Xantia. If she wanted him to sugarcoat it she probably should have phrased that question differently. What's he going to do? Say he wouldn't be upset if she suddenly vanished from his life??

"But I would forgive you," Fei says. "And while I can't speak for them, I have a feeling they'll forgive you too. Just my gut instinct."

He quirks his head, "But however it goes, the longer you wait the harder it'll be. That's just how it is."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia pretty much knew the answer already, but she asked the question anyway. Sometimes it's important to hear exactly how the answer is phrased. And as expected, it does somewhat help to hear. If nothing else, Xantia doesn't commonly consider the long term, so something like 'the longer you wait, the harder it'll be' isn't something she would have thought of.

She makes a non-committal noise in response, seemingly weighing that in her mind for a moment before bring her hands to the sides of her head, messing up her hair a bit further as she tries to psyche herself up. "Ahhh, you're right, you're right, let's just do this! It'll be fine, probably!" It's not that easy to truly convince herself, but it's at least enough to get her to act. She steps closer to the door, raises her hand, and...

This is how far she got before. The last part, actually knocking, is the hardest. She looks back to Fei once again, seeking support in his presence one more time. Then she swallows, turns back, closes her eyes briefly... and finally knocks. And immediately flings the unlocked door entirely open, because when she does do something, she doesn't do it halfway.

"Grandpa, grandma!" Her greeting might be a bit surprising. She never referred to the couple as such when she spoke to Fei about them.

The house interior is only surprising if one was expecting to see Baskar traditionalism in everything, directly beyond the door is just your average Filgaian living room. A sofa, a coffee table, paintings of landscapes, nothing out of the ordinary. It's just a bit hard to pay attention to, when the most of the ordinary thing - or person, rather, is standing right in its center.

'Grandpa' is a towering, muscular man, close to 7 feet tall and not looking at all old enough to be referred to the way Xantia does. He stands arms crossed and eyes stern, possessing of an intense aura as if he were serving as a guard, barring further entry. Not exactly the first picture most people would have with the description 'nice person'. Especially when you add in his way of speaking, forceful even without being particularly loud: "Hello, Xantia. We've been waiting."

'Grandma', on the other hand, is a woman closer to Xantia's height, and very much looking old enough to be called such. She is seated in a rocking chair on the far side of the living room, barely able to see past her husband's hulking form, pretty much his very antithesis with her warm smile and gentle expression. Notably, she is not natively Baskar, and shows this in appearance as well as her speech: "Oh, Xantia, my dear! Finally decided to open that door now, did you?"

Xantia is taken aback a lot more by what 'grandma' says than 'grandpas attitude. "You knew that I...?" Have been back here many times, but just couldn't manage to get myself to actually visit? She hangs her head a bit, feeling stupid, but 'grandma' cuts that short by opening her arms and prompting, "Well, don't just stand there, come give us a hug!"

As Xantia runs over to comply with that request, 'grandpa' doesn't object to her passing by him. Rather, he turns his gaze to her companion, seemingly looking straight through Fei. "I am Jolen Crann, and this is my wife, Martha. As formality dictates, I must ask you for an introduction, even though your reputation precedes you." Here's someone else who asks questions despite already knowing the answer. Except this seems to be somebody who's going to judge every word you say.

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei Fong Wong hangs back, though he never makes it out of sight. He is actually fairly confident it'd go well. Xantia is hard to dislike, quite frankly. She is imminently likable and he does have an understanding of how small town folk act even if this is a very different kind of small town from what he's used to. His eyebrows briefly shoot up when Xantia uses the terms 'grandpa!' and 'grandma!'. She didn't mention that at all! But it's only brief because not mentioning something like that is a very Xantia thing to do, so it isn't that surprising.

He looks uuuup at Grandpa but he punched a dinosaur in the snout. He isn't afraid of 'big people' or anything, even if for a human that is preeeetty big

But seeing at how well this is going, Fei smiles to himself and rubs his neck, not saying anything. This isn't his moment or anything. He's just glad it's going well. It's nice to know that Xantia has people to go back to even if she never finds what she's looking for. And, hopefully, even if she does.

But suddenly he's being addressed. He stiffens and bows his head. "Ah--nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Crann." He straightens up shortly after and adds, "I'm Fei Fong Wong though...uh... I have a reputation even this far out...?"

He looks nervous because he is almost certain it's not good.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Though as always happy to offer and be given hugs, Xantia is quick to draw back from 'grandma' Martha and launch into an apology. "I'm so sorry for leaving like that, I know now I should've said something, but I was just so confused, I really wanted to find out more about myself, so I just--"

Martha interrupts with a shooshing sound, shaking her head. "Calm yourself, easy now, dear. I understand, there's nothing to worry about. Grandpa's managed to keep track of where you've been and how you were doing, we knew you were doing alright."

"In a sense," Jolen's gruff voice interrupts. "Though you should have listened to our warnings. The badlands aren't safe to travel alone and on foot, it's a wonder you made it all the way to Adelhyde in one piece."

It IS a wonder, when you think about it. That's a long way to travel. Xantia may be strong, but without any knowledge of what to do on such long journeys, one would think it still not an easy feat. And if she could manage that much, what could possibly have happened for her to have ended up collapsed in the desert like that?

Martha gives her husband a Look for his remark, causing him to turn his attention back to Fei. "Pilgrimages take me to the far corners of the ancient sacred grounds, boundaries forgotten by most. During my travels, I make it my business to stay apprised of noteworthy events in Filgaia at large. Thus I know enough, Fei Fong Wong, to conclude that where you go, misfortune is sure to follow."

Xantia is the one to interrupt this time, protesting, "Grandpa!" She is silent by the man holding up a palm in her direction. "I would hear what Fei has to say, and will ask plainly: what are your intentions from here on out?"

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

"Xantia's pretty tough," Fei says, understated. From his experience, Xantia is able to handle most of the troubles she finds herself in or facing. "She nearly won the tournament in Lacour." Though he supposes he might not need to tell him about that if he has been paying attention to world events like that. For a guy who is followed by misfortune, he is pretty polite to elders and--of course--to grandparents of friends.

He doesn't even protest when he says that misfortune follows him. He knows misfortune follows him. That's pretty much what he tells everybody who ends up following him anyway, but it's hard to just admit that when facing down someone who is both seven feet tall and important to Xantia and, most importantly, able to get Xantia to stop talking. If he can do that, he must be one tough guy.

"My intentions?" He asks. "I just want to help Xantia find her past because that's what she wants to do. She's my friend, so I want to help her." That's not really a very dramatic pronouncement but it's the most accurate way he could put it! "I can't say that it isn't dangerous to be around me, though." He isn't going to lie about that either.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

It's extremely hard to read the ostensibly old man's expression, but Jolen is quick to interject his opinions on Fei's statements. "She should never have been in that tournament." As for his response on Fei's intentions, he begins, "A noble sentiment, but if you know that much, then Xantia--"

Martha finally decides that enough is enough, interrupting, "--can make up her own mind. She's not a child, Jolen. Let's respect her decisions, shall we?"

A cross between a sigh and an annoyed growl escapes Jolen, though he appears to relent, closing his eyes. "Very well. We will speak no more of this." With that, the man seems to have had enough of standing around and turns to sit down in a chair made to his massive size, never opening his eyes. Meditating? Taking a nap? Who can say.

That leaves the sofa free for sitting down, if Fei feels so inclined after Martha encourages her visitors, "Why don't you both have a seat. Don't mean to sound unappreciative, but I reckon this isn't just a social visit, now is it?"

Xantia, however, jumps to her feet and suggests, "I'll go make some tea!" She doesn't let Martha's "Oh, you don't have to--" stop her, she's already gone off and left the room presumably for the kitchen.

Martha chuckles, and shakes her head. "There she goes. Would've handled that myself, but I'm afraid walking's out of the question for me. But never mind that. Y'all must have questions." With a wink, she adds, "If there's any that you don't want Xantia to hear, well, now's your chance."

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei Fong Wong finds himself admiring Jolen. He agrees with him entirely. Tournaments are awful and he still isn't sure why he participated. It clearly didn't keep Lunata out of trouble, all it did was create problems, but there's no purpose in him repeating these elements. They're all aspects that everyone here knows about by now. He'll sit himself down when he's given the option, glancing periodically to Jolen who feels familiar to him, though he's not sure why.

Fei doesn't really have questions he would prefer for Xantia to not hear the answer to. He's here FOR Xantia so he says, after some reflection, "I'm here for her. I figured she was worrying herself over nothing, but I know it's tough to get past that." He smiles faintly. "The last thing I want is for her to be hurt. It's possible our pasts are linked, but I don't know that for sure. I was hoping that maybe you knew something of her past. She really wants to know and I think she can handle it even if it's not a happy one. She's far braver and stronger than me."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Martha chuckles at Fei's earnestness, stating, "Didn't even have to think about that one, huh? So serious. Well, that tells me all I needed to know." Was that a test? Did Fei pass? Who can say. In that respect, Jolen is actually easier to read. Though the man doesn't directly involve himself with this part of the conversation, glancing at him at just the right time would reveal the corners of his mouth slightly elevating.

With a slight sigh, the old woman leans back in her chair, rocking it slowly back and forth. "Now I wish I had much to tell you about that, I really do, but I couldn't tell you much of anything from before my husband brought her home from one of his pilgrimages. Like old times. Jolen just can't stop bringing home unconscious women."

This makes Jolen finally open his eyes briefly, only to say, "You're making me look bad, Martha. It was just only ever you and Xantia, no one else." Martha chuckles again, "So serious. I think you two'd get along, Fei." So she noticed that, too.

That's when Xantia comes back in, having put the kettle on for the tea, leaping moreso than sitting onto the couch next to Fei. "I'm back! What'd I miss?" Martha answers her question, "Not much, dear. Fei was just saying how brave and strong you are." She clearly enjoys embarrassing people. Not that Xantia's going to read much into it. "Aw, thank you, Fei!"

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei just seriously doesn't have any dark secrets he needs but really, if it's about Xantia--there's no reason that he's aware of to keep it from her. She has proven quite capable of doing whatever she wants whether she knows what's going on or not! And he's pretty sure it wouldn't be anything BAD. And if it was bad, she'd probably feel bad about it and stop doing it. Or try! He believes in Xantia.

"I like him," Fei says. "But I understand if he doesn't like me. I don't like me sometimes either." He manages a small smile at that--he's kind of understating it.

"It's true." Fei frowns. "It's nothing I wouldn't say to your face!" Somehow, though, he's still embarrassed?

Yeah he's that kind of guy. "You rescued Martha too?" He asks, curious. It sounds like a heartwarming story.

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

There's no reaction from Jolen on Fei's remarks about liking him. He even manages to keep the eyebrow raising to a mental one. But when asked about how he rescued Martha... "I only wish I could have."

Martha lets out the tired sigh of someone who's been over the same thing many, many times before. "Let me answer that one properly. Yes, Jolen rescued me from being eaten by monsters after bandits left me for dead. He still blames himself for me losing the use of legs because of it, and feels guilty every time he leaves me in the care of the villagers whenever he goes on another pilgrimage." Jolen sputters, but Martha won't have any complaints: "We'll be here all day if we have to wait for you to tell the story. Now are you going to tell these kids what they're here for, or do I have to tell that story, too?"

Jolen brings a hand to his forehead, briefly rubbing it before let out a tired sigh of his own. "There isn't much to tell. I found Xantia collapsed in the Aveh desert as I was returning from a pilgrimage. Only by the guidance of the Guardians did I manage to spot her, far removed as she was from any route commonly traveled. I administered first aid and kept her hydrated as best I could, and had her rest upon my return. She recovered uncommonly quickly... and you already know the rest," he finishes with a nod to Xantia.

Martha doesn't look very satisfied with that summary, but Xantia seems happy about it. "I do! You let me stay here for as long as I wanted and gave me all the food I wanted! That made me very happy..." She looks down. "But, I still had to go. I needed to know about my past... I still want to. So..." She directs her eyes back to Jolen. "Please show me exactly where you found me. I need to go back there. Maybe I'll remember something if I do. Please."

Jolen doesn't look happy about this - not that he's looked particularly happy about anything - but perhaps surprisingly, nods without any objections. "I will give you one of my old maps, and mark the general area. I cannot be more precise than that, the rest will be up to you."

The observant eye may notice that Xantia's smile and happy response of "Thank you, grandpa!" seem to be causing Jolen some measure of pain, more than anything else. Without further response, the giant man rises from his seat in order to leave the room, presumably to do as he said. Martha silently watches him go. It's not particularly hard to tell something is going unspoken here.

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

That's fixable, a tiny voice in Fei's mind says, it's child's play for a nano-surgeon. There isn't even genetic damage.

Fei doesn't hear this tiny voice but Kim Kashim is complaining about it all the same, just so you know.

Fei listens to the stories. Both of them. To the first he says, "You're living a good life," to her. Losing your legs is nothing compared to what she has--that's how Fei sees it--but he understands expressing that would be pretty poorly taken. "I hope your family life here remains peaceful and joyful."

To the other story, well, this is about what he expected. Of course Xantia recovered uncommonly quickly. She is an anomaly incredibly healthy individual.

"Thank you," Fei says. "It's our only lead, really." Well aside from the mysterious martial arts Xantia seems to know. And other weird aspects about her that are difficult to reconcile.

"How long did Xantia live here?" He asks. She's calling them 'grandpa and grandma' which would normally suggest a long time, but this is Xantia. She might've done this after an hour.

He watches Jolen go before looking to Martha. He tries to analyze the situation before saying to Xantia, "I think, Xantia, even after he marks the maps--maybe you should stay here for a little while."

WHAT!!

"--We don't know how long it'll take, and you left suddenly before--you know?"

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Martha's expression is gentle, but showing complicated and possibly conflicted emotions in her eyes. "That's kind of you to say, Fei." She leaves it at that. Or she would have, if it weren't for the matter that comes up a little later.

Firstly, she responds to Fei's question. "How long... I doubt longer than a month, if that. It felt longer than it actually was." That's the Xantia Effect for you. Knowing her, the entire reason for the grandpa and grandma thing is that it was suggested to call them that, and she went along with it instantly.

This notion is reinforced all the more as soon as Fei suggests Xantia stays a while longer. Before Xantia herself can complain - which can be reasonably assumed she was going to - it's Martha who responds first. "I don't think that's a very good idea. I would appreciate the company, but Jolen..."

The old woman pauses a moment, straining her ears to make certain her husband isn't there to hear. She drops her volume slightly, just in case. "Our children didn't see eye to eye with Jolen's wishes for them to follow the Baskar teachings. Our eldest left the village to become a Drifter on his own accord, while our youngest became infatuated with a visiting Drifter and left with him. Neither spoke of their intentions in advance, and neither contacted us since. When history repeated with Xantia, Jolen... well, he didn't take it very well."

This doesn't help Xantia's guilty conscience, prompting her to softly mutter, "Oh no... I'm so sorry. Then, I really should stay, shouldn't I...?"

Martha shakes her head, smiling in reassurance, "That's not how Jolen's mind works, dear. It's hard to explain, but it's not your fault, alright? It's best if you follow your own path, let's keep it at that." She turns to Fei, "You understand, don't you?"

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei Fong Wong hides a smile with his hand. He guessed it was about that long. She makes decisions like that easily. The way she lives, it's a strange one, but it's not like he doesn't approve even if he doesn't entirely understand. He hopes he approves for reasons more than the way it makes him feel.

"I understand," Fei says. "But..." He trails off for a moment. He doesn't want to pin Xantia into the village or anything--she does have something she needs to do, after all. Would a few days hurt?

"--But let's at least say goodbye properly this time." He says. "...And I still suggest that if we leave the area, you try and visit again. I mean--it's up to you, and it's your family--but if something were to happen... I think it'd be good to not leave anything unsaid."

He shifts uncomfortably. Martha's a sly one. "If...that's alright."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Martha inclines her head, acknowledging, "In the end, that's up to Xantia, of course. We would never turn her away. But, as for Jolen... I believe short visits are better. Otherwise this time, he might never let you go." Her smile gives away that she didn't really mean that, but the sentiment is no less genuine for it.

"I'll... try," is the best Xantia can promise, not really sure how she can do right without hurting anybody. She realizes the situation is complicated, but she doesn't fully understand it. It feels like she could make mistakes without realizing it. Not unlike her original mistake in the way she left.

Seeing this, Martha offers additional encouragement. "Don't worry. Ol' grandpa can be a little mule-headed sometimes, but he's not slow on the uptake. I think he understands your feelings just fine, just from what you're wearing."

Xantia blinks blankly, not immediately understanding as she looks herself over. Until she finally grabs hold of her cloak. "Oh, right, of course! I'm still wearing the cloak you gave me! I'd still be wearing the rest too, but it got kinda... ruined. But the cloak's still fine!" For a certain definition of 'fine', anyway. The point is, she had ample opportunity and cause to replace it, but she didn't. Even if she doesn't consciously think about the reasons for it, it's clear that the garment has value to her. And that hasn't gone unnoticed.

A whistling sound interrupts, causing Xantia to jump up from the sofa. "Oh, the tea! I'll be right back!" And off she goes back to the kitchen again, leaving Fei along with Martha.

"Thank you, Fei," she says out of the blue, before explaining herself. "I can see that I don't even need to ask you to take good care of Xantia. Whatever the rumors might say about you, I believe you're a good man. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise."

<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.

Fei hides another smile. Xantia is a sweet girl. Yeah but doesn't everybody say that about you before proving you're not? Oh shut up red guy.

He watches Xantia race off for the tea. He had no idea Xantia was so close to these people. If he did, maybe he would have pushed harder for her to return home. Xantia wouldn't have liked that, but something like this...

...He envies it.

He used to have it.

He lowers his head as he thinks about Lahan. It feels like it's been ages, doesn't it? He closes his eyes. She's lucky but if she doesn't find who she is, who knows what could be drawn here? If she's anything like him, at least...

...But he says, "I'm not," to Martha. "A good man I mean. It'd take a special kind of evil to wish ill upon her."

He hopes, worriedly, that the special kind of evil he's talking about isn't inside of him.

"...But thank you. It was nice...seeing this kind of community again. Very nice."

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Martha furrows her brow, not having expected such a reply from Fei. "I'd say to not be so hard on yourself, but considering how similar to Jolen you are, I'm sure that'd fall on deaf ears." She barks an unamused laugh, then shakes her head. "I can only hope that one day, you'll be able to conquer your personal demons." Fitting phrasing, indeed...

EPILOGUE

Once alone and out of earshot of both Fei and Xantia, Martha has a question to ask her husband. "Shouldn't you have told her about the state you found her in?"

Jolen slowly shakes his head. "She will gain nothing from being told about that without any context to make sense of it. It would be better if she remembered on her own. But... it may be best if she did not remember at all."

TO BE CONTINUED...