2019-01-01: Welcome Home
- Log: Welcome Home
- Cast: Loren Voss, Lan Lilac
- Where: Etrenank (The Voss Family Home)
- Date: January 01, 2019
- Summary: Loren returns home, and reunites with a pair of familiar faces. Lan's long ordeal reaches its end.
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
He's home.
The gate rumbles to a close behind him, and with just a quick glance turned up towards the heavens below, Loren heads up the walk towards his family home.
Father hasn't returned yet; apparently his release came more suddenly than had been anticipated. Mother was still in transit. Leave had apparently been attained for the both of them.
He can guess why.
He's glad, even if he'll never admit it, but it's...
He feels a little guilty about it.
Especially when he'd been planning in never coming back here again.
The door opens, after a fashion. They never did get that 2-second delay issue worked out, did they? Maybe no one else had noticed. Shaking his head, he steps inside.
He steps inside...
And is promptly greeted by the maid.
"Oh, Master Loren! You've returned early!"
Mirza's still in his family's employ, it seems. That's good -- she's a pretty good cook for a Worker Bee. It would have been a shame if she'd died or something. "Yeah, it's me. They didn't have any reason to keep me, so they sent me home," he answers, looking past her for any other signs of life. The house is just about as empty-looking as when he'd left over two years ago.
Leah had said Lan had been staying here for the last month. But it doesn't look like anyone else is around.
"Your father was so worried when we heard you had been injured," the housekeeper continues, entwining her hands with one another. "A combat wound, wasn't it...?"
It's... weird, having Mirza fuss over him like he was still a kid and fell out of the tree or something.
He shakes his head. "I'm fine. Hey... Leah said there was a guest staying here." He glances towards the great staircase leading to the upper level of the atrium. "Is she in the guest room or something?"
Mirza purses her lips as if he's just told her a whopper of a lie. He remembers that look. Great. She's probably going to insist he rest every day he's on leave. But, she does nod.
Hesitantly?
"Yes, but... she's not in the guest room."
He inclines his head, as if to insist she go on.
"She's in Master Engil's room."
The result: Mirza, abandoned somewhere near the front door of the family manor as Loren ascends with all haste to the upper floors and enters a room he hasn't been within in a long, long time.
The room is alive.
Engil had been fond of plants and had converted as much of his room into space for them as he could when he was still...
Mirza must have been caring for them, he realizes. Even with the hydroponics setup and automation, there's no way they could have survived in here otherwise.
"Lan--?!"
He doesn't sound happy.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Strangely enough, knowing Lan and her penchant for Lanning into anything that interests her... Engil's room is exactly the way he remembers it, despite the month Lan has clearly had to dig around, to move things, to carelessly touch his dead brother's belongings or ruin the laundry-! ...But there's just Engil's room, and just Lan wearing Solarian clothes and sitting crosslegged on the throw rug near his older brother's bed.
She's grown paler. Not as much as the average First-Class Solarian, certainly - nowhere near the pallor that his family boasts - but then, she would never be mistaken for First Class, would she?
Even with these borrowed clothes, she's out of place.
He bursts into the room and Lan startles, a high-pitched note escaping her throat as his sudden presence knocks her out of the meditative state she'd finally managed to get back into.
It's hard to take care of herself when everything is going to hell around her, when she can't even leave the yard, when everything has been taken away from her - or she's been taken away from everything. Lan looks up, blinking in the artificial light, and scrambles up from her seat on the rug. "Lo-- LOREN!"
She doesn't seem to notice that he's not as happy to see her as she is him. Lan just catapults herself at him, going from floor to sixty in under two seconds-- when she suddenly diverts her momentum, eyes widening as she stumbles past him, a hand raising to catch herself against the doorframe. "Loren, you're okay, I'm so sorry, I almost forgot about your wound, they wouldn't let me see you, I thought-- I thought--!!"
--she thought he was dead, that Leah wouldn't tell her, that she would be trapped here forever in this artificial hell--
Lan swipes roughly at her eyes, and turns away from him. "...I'm so glad you're okay."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
It really hasn't changed.
Almost nothing in this house has changed.
But this room most of all.
It still smells so green in here. Almost suffocating in its intensity. He still remembers the last time he came in here--
And Lan rises from the spot she'd claimed near the bed -- it's untouched, everything is untouched, the only thing that's out of place here is her -- and catapults towards him with enough ferocity that he starts backwards, one arm raised as if to ward her off.
It's unnecessary. She stops herself, gripping the frame near the door. The door, helpfully, starts to slide open again, sensing a person nearby.
This is the point where Loren is forced to make a rapid-fire decision.
He grabs for her shoulder and hauls her back into the room proper. The door, after a second's pause, slides shut. He releases his grip, takes a step back from her and nearly stumbles right into a bed of small citrus trees. The scent of the leaves wafts in the air.
He shakes his head at her, at all of what she's just poured out to her, and asks question of her:
"What are you doing in here? This is my brother's--"
Then he stops and squints at her.
Is she... crying?
"What are you... of course I'm fine," he says, bristling like an irritated hedgehog. "They wouldn't let you see me because of the treatment, not that it's anything interesting to see. Contamination can jeopardize it, particularly during the initial scaffolding phase," he explains as if it's all common knowledge.
Except, wait, it wouldn't be, for her.
"...Anyway," he says, sighing out a breath as if under duress, "there's nothing to worry about. The wound's treated. They wouldn't have let me out otherwise."
There follows, probably, an extended moment of highly awkward silence.
"...Here."
Which is then followed by an extremely awkward moment when he more or less offers to her a single oddly-shaped flower.
Leah had said that he should give her flower or something. Hopefully, Lan won't take this the wrong way.
He'd tried to get one that didn't scream 'romantic'. Not that there are a lot of options unless you're like his brother and a hobbyist (and thus First Class) -- any flower up here is specially-grown. Which means 'the usual': roses, lilies, irises, peonies...
There had only been one like this one at the corner kiosk, and looking at it again now as he holds it in his hand, he can sort of see why. It's not a particularly appealing color, for start.
It also sort of looks like it has a little animal face in it. If you squint.
"...You saved my life. So, well... thanks."
Not exactly effusive, but it might have to do.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Yes, it's green here. It's alive. The only place Lan has found, aside from the front yard, that doesn't make her want to curl up in a ball and wish for somebody from the surface to come and get her. Anybody. Even a Metal Demon might be okay...
But even so, it's clearly some kind of shrine to the dead Engil Voss. Why else would it have been untouched, unlived in, yet the offerings of plants still be cared for? They must have loved Engil very much, she'd decided, though there had been something about it...
Leah had said he'd died in disgrace. That Loren was still trying to rise above his brother's shadow.
It doesn't really make sense But then, Lan doesn't really understand Solarians anyway. Even their language is a mystery. When she'd tried calling over the gate for someone to open it (maybe it was stuck???) people had only hurried on their way after staring at her for a little bit. Mirza had had to come and coax her back inside, once Lan had finally given up on escape.
She stumbles to a halt by the door, near to just falling through it, when he reaches for her with a surprising amount of determination. Lan is pulled back into the room, her bare feet sliding on the rug as she corrects her posture. "Uh?"
He's upset with her?
Was this room off-limits after all? But she'd been so careful not to go in the office or his parents' room...
"...It's your brother Engil's shrine," she offers quietly, after he trails off. "Everything in here has been kept, right? Even the plants." She's hardly got a green thumb, but she watched Mirza carefully tend them. "It was the only place..." Lan trails off, because Loren can't possibly understand. This is his home.
Surely he must feel comfortable in Etrenank, the way she would in Little Firelight?
She just stares a bit helplessly at him when he starts to babble about scaffolding. Isn't that what people use to make buildings?? How is that medicinal?! None of the books she'd peeked at had any scaffolds in them! Just organs and stuff!
She opens her mouth to protest, to try to explain herself--
--and closes her mouth, eyes widening in her face.
He brought...
Lan reaches out to take the blossom from him in both hands, her lips threatening to form a wobbly smile. He actually noticed. He said thank you. Fresh tears well up in her eyes as she takes the single, goofy flower from him with a sniffle and a stifled laugh.
"It's so cute," she laughs, and can't stop herself from swiping at her face again. Gosh! She's a mess. "It's, it's a monkey face! Look, Loren!"
She can't stop giggling. After all this, and he comes home grumpy, holding a... a...
The backs of Lan's knees bump into the military-precise corner of Engil's bed and her legs buckle - she falls backward to sit on the edge of the bed, the flower cradled in her hands. "You're... you're welcome, I love it, I'm so glad..."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
'It's your brother Engil's shrine.'
He narrows his eyes, visibly emotionally perched somewhere between disbelief and burgeoning irritation (anger, almost). There would have been a time when the next thing he would have done would have been to lash out.
But his perspective has shifted somewhat, particularly in the last day since his awakening. So rather than face his anger, instead Lan is witness to Loren as he shakes his head, his face still contorted in that particular expression.
"Mirza always was fond of him," he mutters, throwing a dark look at a nearby hosta as if he could force it to wither with his eyes alone. Naturally, it doesn't obey.
His shoulders slouch: he relents.
"...It's not like you knew, anyway." Well, before Mirza must have told her. "I don't like being in here."
Shrine. That's one way of putting it. One place that stands as a monument to a man who died without leaving even a body.
So they'd said.
In other words, this is a tomb.
...What are they going to do when he dies, he wonders, glancing around. Leave his room the way he'd left it?
Though there's not much in there except books. Models. Some old analog games.
It's a sad monument compared to this, too. He's always coming in second, even in memorial...
But he explains after a fashion why she hadn't been in to see him, leaving out the fact that the most she would have been able to see would have been him, comatose, suspended in the tissue and organ repair media. Somehow, he thinks that would go down its own terrible path of explanations that he... doesn't want to travel.
It might take hours.
So instead he presents her with the flower.
It smells nice. A little like fresh sweet citrus.
Whereupon she starts to cry...?
And laugh?
He sort of stands there, a dumb puzzled look on his face as she continues to laugh about the flower and say that it has a...
a...
He raises a blond eyebrow.
"Huh. I guess it does...?"
He's as nonplussed as any, it seems.
She says she loves it.
Which just leaves him to shift his weight awkwardly amidst the sole still-living memorial to a man that Loren wishes everyone else in the world would forget.
"Good, I... guess."
More silence.
"So you've been... here for a while?"
It's almost like she's gone and taken the wind out of his grouchy sails.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
She barely notices the face he makes at those words. But then, Loren has always gotten prickly about things Lan doesn't understand. If she stopped to worry about all of them, she'd never get anything done!
But then... he actually explains himself.
"...I didn't know," she agrees quietly, cupping the flower in her hands and lifting her head to look around the room again. It's so quiet in here... usually. Lan stands after a moment, automatically looking behind her to straighten the blanket where she'd sat on the edge.
She may not have ever met Engil Voss, but his presence weighs heavy in the Voss household even years after his death. Lan's eyes crease, almost tiredly. "...Come on, then," she tells him, and makes as if she's going to brush past him on her way to the door--
--but hesitates before reaching the threshold. "...Welcome home," she tells Loren, as if she's just remembered, and loops her free arm gently around his shoulder to give him a light squeeze. "Let's go downstairs then. Miss Mirza said we could make tea if we wanted it!"
This is not entirely true; Mirza had said that she would make tea if Lan wanted some.
"Since the day after the battle," she nods, waiting for him outside the door. "I wasn't hurt badly and Miss Mirza took care of me afterwards. She's really nice." ...But a little weird, too, and Lan can't quite put her finger on why. "If you sit down somewhere I'll bring you something to drink. We can catch up!"
She hopes it doesn't sound quite as desperate as she feels. --Please don't leave again just yet--
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
For once, he actually explains himself rather than leave her to guess or go to the effort of the investigation. Maybe from someone like him it might be a sort of trust...?
Maybe.
He doesn't protest when she suggests they go elsewhere, apparently more than ready to leave this room and the bitterness it recalls behind. Perhaps he was expecting her to go ahead of him when she slips past--
It would go a ways to explain the way he tenses at her touch, when she slings an arm around him in a semi sort of hug. 'Welcome home'.
In another narrative, this would be the point where he'd finally realize he was home, or perhaps he'd even smile. Neither of these things happens, because Loren is Loren.
But at the same time, neither does he shake her off, or make some snarky comment, or tell her not to touch him. His only reponse as she pulls away is to say, a touch absently, "...Guess so."
It feels like entering a stranger's house. It doesn't feel like he's come home at all.
"She took care of you? Sounds like Mirza. ...You probably remind her of her kid." It's funny how something like that can make a difference. Then again, Mirza acted like everyone under thirty was her kid.
He follows Lan downstairs, through the atrium to the sitting room to the east (using the Etrenank ordinal system, that is). There's no way Mirza would let Lan make the tea, and for once, he doesn't bother to pedantically correct the Baskar operative.
Mirza is particular about some things.
So he takes a seat -- they finally replaced the chairs, huh -- and leans back, gazing up at the sterile ceiling.
And remembers something.
"Oh, Mirza -- they recommended a bland diet for the next few weeks. Decaffeinated's ideal."
Then looks back at Lan. "You got hurt pretty bad, didn't you." For him, it's practically only yesterday. Or a couple of days ago, anyway. One of the marks against an induced coma -- his sense of time is a mess.
He scowls. "Listen. Don't do that again. That... getting in the way of the attack business. Understand? You weren't even in armor."
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Perhaps he'll feel a sense of returning equilibrium when she lets him go after only the span of two breaths. Maybe it'll be nice, to leave the shrine behind.
"Ah-- she didn't talk to me about a child. I didn't know she's a mom! ...But I guess it makes sense," she decides, descending the stairs. "She's really kind."
But, she did notice that he didn't shove her away. It's... comforting, even though it's very unusual. Maybe he's more tired than she thought.
Lan carries the adorable lily downstairs, still smiling a bit foolishly. It's not that she's in love with him - she doesn't even have a crush!! - but now and then Loren shows her a bit of kindness, and it makes Lan feel...
...Well, feel what? A kind of gratitude, a sense of relief?
After all, it's not like she's lonely, with Loren and Leah and now Mirza. The people from Gebler who occasionally come to talk to her, though it's been weeks since they had new questions for her.
She places the flower in its little pot on the table where it will be safe, and leans back in her chair. It's nice to be approaching 'normal' again--
And then, of all people, Loren is the one who does something unusual. Lan blinks at him.
What did she do? For Lan, it's been a long month of nothing but unfamiliar ceilings and unoccupied time. "...Did I?" she asks, eyes wrinkling at the corners. "...I don't remember."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
That, honestly, just about sums up what he knows about Mirza. She has -- or had? -- a kid, and she's a Third Class citizen.
She's been their housekeeper since he was about twelve (so eight years, with four of them mostly at Jugend and the last two with him planetside) and that's still all he can really say he knows.
It's none of his business. Worker Bees have their roles, and the Gazel have their own.
"Something like that," is his summation of Mirza's life story as they descend the staircase down to the lower level of the atrium.
"I understand, Master Loren," says the aforementioned housekeeper, before she disappears towards the kitchen.
Back in the sitting room, its windows overlooking the garden (terminating, ultimately, into the wall surrounding the next First Class estate) Loren has the opportunity to reflect on events--
Which have occurred for him a touch more recently than for Lan.
He furrows his brow. "You don't remember? You got in the way of the..."
How much of this is a hill he'd like to die upon, anyway?
He closes his eyes as if pained, breathes out a sigh, then waves a dismissive hand. "...You know what, never mind."
Does he really want to dredge up that business about being 'friends'?
...What a mess. Is that what she thinks...
He's a First Class...
"...But if there were nothing on the surface of worth, we wouldn't invest such effort in it."
He hasn't forgotten what Leah said, even if it's a sentiment he's still struggling with.
If even at least some of them have worth, then what's...
He can't finish the thought. It's too much.
Instead he slouches forward, propping his elbow on the table and cupping his jaw in his hand. Fleetingly his little finger brushes his lips, and he remembers something else Lan had done.
He's not dumb enough to think that was a kiss, but it still pisses him off a little anyway.
He straightens.
"...And another thing. Using your own mouth to suction blood is unhygienic."
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
It's weird. Lan knows that Mirza refers to Loren as 'Master', because that's how the older woman had always referred to him. But to hear her say that to his face, and to see Loren respond as if it's normal...
Although, it is, isn't it? He's First Class. Maybe this is how it's always been, for him. And Mirza has seemed nothing but fond of Loren, despite how formally she refers to him.
Lan can only think of her own aunts and uncles and cousins, the village raising every child and every child raised by the village. Maybe it's the same thing here, just in a different guise. After all, it's not like Loren is the first young man to ever take his older relatives' concern for granted.
Lan realizes she hasn't been paying attention. He's still stuck on something that hadn't seemed like such a big deal at the time, she's sure. It couldn't have, if she's already forgotten it. "..." But he's upset.
"...Loren, it was a month ago," Lan tells him, leaning forward in her seat to rest her forearms on the table. "I've been here this whole time. I don't--" Her fingers curl inward. "You just--"
Lan takes a deep breath and starts over, smoothing her fingers through her hair. "It was a month ago. I don't always remember what I did yesterday!" Especially if she's been drinking. "But if I did something wrong, I'm sorry. I'm--" She trails off, because Loren continues.
To her credit(?), she turns a bit red. "I didn't have..." Lan sighs. "...Are you really going to complain about how I saved your life?"
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
'Taking her for granted' is a good summary of how he's treated the housekeeper, who has been nothing but gentle and kind to Lan during her unfortunately uncomfortable stay in the Voss family home. And yet, Mirza doesn't complain, doesn't admonish the way a relative might.
She just smiles and goes about her business.
Loren would protest he's not treating her unkindly if pressed. And yet...
Though soon he has other matters on his mind.
She had gotten in the way of that attack. It had struck her instead of him.
And had insisted she was his friend in the process.
The first part of it all is largely still weighing on him because of the second.
And the fact that, from his perspective, it's been only two days or so.
"Not for me," he grumbles, still half-slouched across the tabletop. "I don't even remember the last month because I spent it in a medical coma." The irritation only continues to radiate off him when she says she often doesn't remember what she did yesterday. "Look, forget it. It's not important," he mutters.
Though from the dark, something worms out from the corners of his mind. Did she always have trouble remembering yesterday, or only since the last few months...?
He doesn't like that thought much either; he slams it back into the mental darkness.
Particularly when a certain memory rears up to take its place.
Are you really going to complain about how I saved your life?
Lan's not the only one turning a little red at the memory of it. His skin tone does little to hide it, either.
"Just-- just..." he trails out, as if mentally struggling for a rejoinder. "Just don't do it again, okay?! That's a great way to transmit disease!"
He looks away from her then, as what is surely a most awkward silence descends.
...The good news is this, though:
At least this means that Loren hasn't stopped being any more Loren for his month in hospital.
Into this silence Mirza appears, bearing the tea.
"I hope that ginger is fine. It's supposed to be good for the stomach."
She smiles beatifically, as if completely ignorant of the shouting.
Or the context underlining that shouting.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
That's right, a medical coma. She remembers that Leah had explained it somewhat; the other woman had been less badly injured than Loren and Tabitha, thanks to all the artificial parts in her body, and has at least been to see Lan a few times - even if the visits were necessarily short.
"I brushed my teeth like ten times!" she complains. "It's not like you have consumption or anything, right?" she asks, lifting an eyebrow at him. He would have told her if he had a wasting disease or something. Wouldn't he??
It doesn't really occur to her that she's more likely to harboring pathogens. For one, Lan doesn't even know pathogens are. And she lives a healthy lifestyle most of the time! Everybody knows exercise and clean living are good for you. If anybody's sick around here it's Loren, who attracts negative energy like it's going out of style.
At least Mirza saves the day, bringing tea and a smile. It's really nice of her to pretend that nothing's wrong, Lan decides, smiling weakly as she takes her cup with both hands. "Thank you."
Maybe she should try to be as calm as Loren's housekeeper. After all, she seems perfectly happy.
Lan drops a cube of sugar into her cup, watching it crumble at the bottom. "...I'm glad you're back. Miss Mirza is too, you know. So just relax a little and get better, okay?" she tells Loren at last.
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
At that accusation, Loren blanches. "What? Why would I have a wasting disease?" he protests, nearly rising from his seat in muted outrage. "I've had all my shots but I can't say if the same is true for you," he settles for slinging back, leaning back into his seat.
Fortunately Mirza and her apparently near-ever-present calm are here to settle the matter before this gets even remotely close to silly extremes.
It's telling that he almost immediately assumes some front of maturity once she steps into the room. He might take her for granted, but, it seems, he doesn't want to be caught acting like a child in front of her, either...
He doesn't thank her, though. He just accepts the cup with a nod, cradling it a moment in his hands as if he could claim some of its heat.
"You're quite welcome, Miss Lan," Mirza responds with a smile. "Is there anything else you needed?"
To which Loren shakes his head. "Not now, anyway. ...I guess father might be home for dinner?"
"Yes, he should, though he said he would be delayed," Mirza replies.
Loren just nods.
"Alright. Guess I'll see you again then..."
Lan's glad he's back.
Even Mirza had said she was worried, hadn't she. ...It's weird for people to genuinely feel that way. Or just openly express that, at least.
He doesn't say anything until the housekeeper departs again, his gaze into the amber depths of his teacup. He finally and at length sets it back down.
"...Yeah. I'm not going anywhere for a few weeks. After that... I guess it's back to medical duty in Bledavik, until we get orders."
Until he has orders, technically speaking. But... Lan's still here. She'd survived Elru, too. Which means... she'll be sticking around for a while, won't she.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
Huh? It's not like she really meant her accusation. But then, Loren is a medic. He'd probably take such a thing harder than most. Still, Lan makes a face at him. "For your information, I did get vaccinations while I was in the hospital." There were a lot - at least to Lan, whose only previous experience with immunizations was 'your cousin has cucco pox, so you're spending the night over there'. "So nobody has a wasting disease--"
If it weren't for Mirza, this household would probably fall to ruin.
She waves as the housekeeper takes her leave, still holding her teacup. "...I'm gonna meet your parents?" She hasn't been letting herself stay completely ignorant, especially with little to do for the past month but talk to people and read--
She blinks and takes a quick sip of tea before putting the cup down. "Oh, um... don't be mad at me," she begins, which is never a good sign. "But I went in your room and I read your books. --Or, well, I mostly looked at the diagrams, but I think I still learned something. I can't read Solarian very well yet." She holds her palms up like she expects him to fuss again. "I didn't touch anything else and I tried not to make a mess!"
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
That takes the winds out of his proverbial sails. "You did, huh," he remarks, flatly at that. "Fine. But that doesn't mean it's okay to--"
If it weren't for Mirza this would have gone down disasterous, calamitous route for certain.
Awkward discussion thus averted, the conversation turns towards... the matter of company at dinner.
"My father, for now," he corrects, lifting a hand to adjust his glasses... which he does not, of course, have on him.
They're really just equipment for his job.
"Mother's received leave but travel takes time." She'd likely have to ensure handover for her duties while she's away, too.
Which means she won't be staying for long. The tradeoff for prestige it seems is every other part of your life. And even prestige can be tarnished, by someone else's actions at that.
He's gazing off into the distance when a few choice words waft past his ears.
'don't be mad at me'
He slowly turns his head to stare at her, a most long-suffering expression on his face. "What did you do," he states rather than asks.
She tells him.
His response is to close his eyes and sink back into his chair. "Why," he asks, and someone might be mistaken for thinking he was speaking to the ceiling at present time, "did you go through my things? Is that what they do where you come from?"
He's definitely fussing. There's no preventing that unfortunate event.
"Ugh," he remarks to the room at large.
There's a pause. He sits upright again and looks straight at her.
"...What do you mean, 'looked that diagrams'? Which books were you looking at?"
The... astronomy and astrophysics? The medical? Or... the other things.
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
It's not like she did anything that bad! But still, he's upset. At least he's not yelling. If his blood pressure gets too high, won't his stitches pop or something?! That seems like something she heard once.
"I only looked at the ones on the shelf," she clarifies when he asks. "Most of it I couldn't figure out, but if it's on a shelf with the spine out it's okay to read, right?" And maybe once she spent time looking at the assembled model kits on display, but...
But unlike Engil's room, it hadn't felt like a place of relaxation, or even remembrance. It was just... unchanged. And Loren would eventually come back to it.
"I've been here for a month with nothing else to do. I only went into your room for books, because it's your room." She's pretty easy-going about a lot of things, but even Lan doesn't go digging in other people's stuff! She... actually kind of feels insulted. After all the trouble she'd gone through to not leave a single thing out of place in the shrine, too...! As glad as she is to know he's all right... he really didn't think, after all. "Because I didn't know what I was doing when you were going to die, and I thought that if I could get anything out of staying here all this time, in a weird city in the sky and not even let out of the yard, it might as well be that!"
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
The difference in the two rooms is stark by atmosphere alone. One was, as Lan had noted, a place where its owner was expected to return, someday.
The other stood as a living memorial to a dead man.
She only looked at the ones on the shelf. If there's relief there, it's only partial. His expression of one who has been unduly, unfairly put upon barely wavers.
And then Lan lets him have it, in a manner of speaking.
His expression tilts headlong towards the baffled. "What are you talking about? There's more than enough to do, there's--"
Not for someone who doesn't belong here, there isn't.
Not for her.
Puzzlement eventually, eventually gives way to realization. What she was looking for. Why she was looking for it.
Loren stares at Lan for a good ten seconds. Maybe more.
Then grimaces, propping his arm on the table once more, and leaning forward to rest his forehead into the crook of his right hand.
"...Fine. Fine, I get it."
...Does he, though?
"If you want to learn about it so badly... I'll teach you. It won't be much. This takes years to learn. But it's better than nothing."
He pauses.
"And it's not like I'll have anything else to do here, anyway."
What, he's not even going to go out or visit people, or anything while he's home?
Apparently not.
"...I might want to teach you how to read, too."
<Pose Tracker> Lan Lilac has posed.
He has the nerve to look confused still. Then again, Loren is probably the closest thing Lan has to a best friend - she ought to know just how emotionally ignorant he is. Lan watches him finally understand what she's been trying to tell him since he first arrived home. He finally seems to get it.
Lan just stares back, deep pink spots standing out on her cheeks. Even if he doesn't agree, Lan still isn't wrong!!
But she's actually a little surprised when he capitulates. She'd thought he would grump, or change the subject. Instead he actually...
Her lips part like she wants to say something, but just blinks at him for a long moment. "You-- really?"
The knot in her stomach eases just a bit, and she manages a small, relieved smile. "At least read the labels to me. I think I know which one is the gallbladder but it looks just like the spleen..." Oh thank goodness, there will be something to do around here soon. Something that might make her feel less helpless the next time there's an emergency. "I do want to learn. And I want to learn to read Solarian, too." Just so he's clear that she can actually read her own language! A much younger Lan worked very hard to learn how!
"...Thanks, Loren," Lan says after a few moments' comfortable silence. She smiles at him from across the table, a bit more like the carefree girl she usually is. "I promise I'll work hard. Just worry about relaxing and getting better the rest of the time, okay? After all, you said they'd send us back to active duty when you get better."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
Lan's assessment is just about on the nose. Oh, sure -- to be fair, at this point in his life, the medic's spent far, far too much time disconnected from his peers for a full assortment of reasons. And certainly, one could easily blame the particulars of his culture on some of this.
Still, one could also fairly say that a young man his age should, as they say, 'possess a clue' about other people.
Perhaps his response is a sign of things proceeding in the correct direction.
Perhaps.
"If you're going to learn anatomy or medicine or whatever," he starts to say, as if to defend his own position on the matter rationally, "you might as well do it properly, and not from the diagrams of a book in a language you don't understand." He lifts his head, allowing his arm to drop against the tabletop.
"...Especially if you're going to learn the difference between the gallbladder and the spleen. Ideally before you attempt major surgery," he deadpans. Behold, his sense of humor.
While he'll have to be careful on the linguistics front it... would be ideal if she could at least read basic signs. To say nothing of the labeling in a medical textbook.
She thanks him. He shifts, as if uncomfortable with the sentiment, and picks up his cup of tea. "It's fine," he says, before taking a sip. "...I know. Trust me. I've had enough excitement for the time being," he says, closing his eyes as he thinks back to that day. Just a day or so ago, to his viewpoint.
He shouldn't be alive.
"...and I need to be able to return to duty."