2019-01-02: A Two-For-One Deal
- Log: A Two-For-One Deal
- Cast: Fei Fong Wong, Xantia
- Where: Adlehyde - Adventurer's Guildhall
- Date: January 02, 2019
- Summary: Fei allows Xantia to converse with Id through him. It's just a tiny bit awkward.
===================<* Adlehyde - Adventurer's Guildhall *>==================== The Guildhall at Adlehyde has always been a small thing. Now though it seems to have been given a new life. The inside of the three story building has been entirely refinished to fix the aging that had been seen on the interior. Made primarily of wood with stone for the hearth and cooking areas, the newly restored building seems to shine. There are still rough patches, but those few scars simply add charm to the old building. Along the west wall sits a long bar, the man behind it known to most as Kev. An ex-Drifter, the mountain of a man carries his expansive silver mustache with pride. Functioning as bartender, Drifter assistant, and contact for those that wish to hire the Drifters that call the guild their home. Its open to everyone of course, but Guild Members get a discount. The only rule that is expected to be followed is a simple one. 'You Break It You Buy It.' The east side of the bar holds a half-dozen tables and a few booths stuck into cozy little nooks. A comfortable meeting area of Drifters and clients to discuss new jobs. There also sits the stairs up to the other floors in the back of the room, the upper stories for Guild Members to stay for a reasonable rate in the plain but comfortable rooms there. Next to the front door of the building is a long board full of various job postings that range from hunting, to bodyguard duty, to delivery quests and everything in between. For those that want to know such things, which is most Drifters, the back door is under the stairs. There are holes punched into the walls here and there, during the Battle of Adlehyde. Tarps have been thrown up over them. The biggest problem, however, is that a statue was smashed off the top of a steeple... and landed in the roof. While it has plugged the hole, the stony countenance of Lady Charlotte, sculpted by Adreno Mulhause in 322 PC, now hangs upside down and is stuck in the rafters. Kev and the Drifters often debate how -- and if -- to get her down. BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ0Idh3dz3g
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei Fong Wong has talked to Xantia since the IDentity crisis ended by there has been a new development. It took like a month sure but hey. Xantia had asked about it.
Fei invited Xantia to the Adelhyde Guildhall in order to talk in a quasiprivate setting. He is presently sipping a glass of juice (for children) since he doesn't trust himself with alcohol these days. He is by himself for the moment too, idly doodling on a bar napkin a picture of Riesenlied in what appears to be some sort of cuccomobile.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
A whole month is basically forever from Xantia's perspective of not remembering a ton of those. It should surprise nobody that she would seek to make the most out of her time, thus being absent a lot while she goes around... doing Xantia things. One could ask, but she already talks a lot of her own accord, and odds are that if she didn't think it notable enough to bring it up herself, it would just be asking for every mundane thing she did being described in excruciating detail.
Though that probably wouldn't happen this time. Xantia's actually kept herself fairly quiet since the return to Ignas. She still goes out and everything, but she hasn't been gone for days at a time like commonly happens, always making sure to return to Adlehyde by nightfall. Perhaps a nice change of pace, knowing where she'll be at all time, but such a lengthy break in her routine might also be cause for concern. Of course, a lot did happen in Elru. It's not hard to imagine that it would have some kind of lasting effect on even Xantia. Especially the more personal aspects of it.
Other than that though, she seems pretty much her usual self, and as such, all too eager to accept any invitations from Fei. And also, prone to just sort of... appearing. She's claimed that she doesn't usually try to sneak up on people (though there certainly has been such occasions), but even without trying, it's not uncommon that she manages to make very little sound as she approaches someone from behind. Xantia's head is just suddenly there as she peeks over Fei's shoulder at what he's drawing. And just sort of falling into a conversation, forgetting to even say hi.
"Is she doing alright?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei rarely provides over the top comical reactions anymore to Xantia's sudden arrivals. He is EXPECTING Xantia today and so this time, aside from a small lift of his pencil, a twitch in his hand, he seems to be handling itp retty well. Xantia can also see a small upturn of his lips that wasn't there when she had first entered.
"Xantia." He says. "I'm glad you could come."
He wonders for a moment whether Xantia would be able to find answers in Aquvy. He doesn't want to drag her over there before she finds the truth, but it is where his own calling is. But he doesn't want to discuss that with Xantia just yet. It could be downer talk even though he suspects Xantia will follow even if there is nothing to find for her in Aquvy. Followed him to the MOON after all.
He sets down the pencil.
"Riesenlied is recovering. She seems to be doing well. Her faith seems bruised, but bruises heal in time. She still misses her father, of course she would. I wasn't ready to talk to her about that."
Fei shakes his head before looking back to Xantia. "She seems to be in a wheelchair. I'm hoping it's temporary." That at least wasn't his doing.
He tilts his head. "But I asked you over because I said I'd let you know once I could hear him again? He's still pretty quiet, but I think I can pass along messages and pass 'em back." He glances to the side. "Everyone said I should try making peace with him so...I figured this might help?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Aquvy. That might be a bit of a talk, indeed. Xantia's mentioned while on Lunar and in Elru both, that she felt like there was nothing to find there regarding her past. And while she's come to question that maybe there might be something about Elru after all, it's certainly true that it seems wholly unlikely for her to have ever visted either of those places before. Aquvy... might be a different story, perhaps? It's at least more within the realm of possibility. But Xantia's pretty convinced that there's something in Ignas that she's yet to discover. If it's not against her will, or for the sake of saving the world, she might not be so eager to leave this time.
But that's a matter that can perhaps wait for a while longer. There's some time yet. Who knows what might be uncovered still over the coming weeks?
For the moment, Xantia is quiet as she listens to Fei. Concern is, as always, easy to read in her expression. Still, she hasn't visited Riesenlied herself, though there's been plenty of opportunity to do so. There's probably a reason for that, but if there is, she doesn't speak of it.
"...I see. So she can't even walk right now..." That's all she says about it for the moment.
Her somewhat melancholy expression turns to shocked surprise once Fei mentions he can hear 'him' again. "...Oh! You can hear Id again, really? I, uh, I wasn't expecting that's what you wanted me to come over for. Ahaha..."
Why does she seem so nervous about this? Chances are, Xantia herself couldn't say for sure. But it may have something to do with what she adds after a moment's pause. "Is it... really alright? I mean, I don't want to hurt you, either of you, and I don't know how you'll feel about what I'll say..." She rubs her chin for a moment. "If I... even know how to say what I want to say."
Xantia's rarely this concerned about her words. Normally she just says whatever comes to mind. But considering the circumstances, it's probably not that hard to see how this feels a bit... awkward, even for her.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei isn't honestly sure if 'hear him' is the best way to put it. It's actually difficult to tell whether it's a 'Fei' voice or an 'Id' voice. While exchanging messages is one easy way to handle it, sometimes Id says things and they feel like his own thoughts. He isn't sure he can really explain this to Xantia, though.
The cuccomobile drives away as Fei pushes the napkin to the side.
He studies Xantia's melancholic expression. It's not that he hasn't seen it on her before, but it still feels like it just doesn't belong on her. She should be happy, he thinks, but he knows in situations like this they are certainly warranted. He thinks about that picture of Siegfried that Riesenlied had hurriedly put away.
"Well," Fei says. "Pain's not always a bad thing. It's there for a reason. To teach a lesson. Don't put your hand on the stove. I suppose it's the same for other kinds of pain."
He looks up. "But I'm not sure I can really answer whether it's ok or not, or how I'll feel about it. I certainly can't speak for him. Er, except in the most literal of cases."
It's awkward for Fei too but only Xantia can know what she wants to say and whether she knows what to say or not.
"But..." Fei says. "Whatever you have to say, you're still family to me. Even if it hurts, that won't change. Okay? And you can take all the time you want."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
At least it's not as if Xantia hasn't seemed down the whole time since returning from Elru. She's seemed pretty much her usual cheerful self most of the time. It's just that she doesn't tend to hide how things make her feel, if that's even a thing she's capable of doing. If she sees something that makes her feel sad, she's going to look to sad. And if she doesn't know how to feel, she gets unsure of herself in general.
"I... see," is all she responds to Fei with, but she still looks pretty conflicted. There's an awkward chuckle as she realizes that feeling must be a lot worse still for Fei. But he still wants to give her the opportunity to do this. And it's not like she didn't ask for it. It feels silly to backpedal on it now.
She takes a seat, on the opposite side of Fei than the one he pushed the napkin to earlier. "Alright... I'll try. Let me think."
She takes all of two seconds to do so before shrugging a bit, deciding, "Let's just start with something simple, then. Ask him... How do you feel?"
She chuckles again almost immediately, running a hand through her hair. "'Something simple', I say, like that's always a simple question to answer." She doesn't even know how she would answer that question right now. Still, she's not about to change the question. It's a question she does very much want the answer to. All she adds is, "And... make sure he knows I'm here, that I'm the one who wants to know." That might make a difference. She does feel like Id is always completely honest, but... it still matters to her that he gives the answer that he'd give to her.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
She's still Xantia, Fei reflects, but she seems to be...maybe growing up a little? Maybe he shouldn't read too much into her behavior a month after a life or death battle of planetary survival just yet.
Fei says, "Well..." He takes in a deep breath and exhales. "Here we go..."
He closes his eyes.
Hey. Xantia wants to know. How are you?
How do you think I feel, Junior?
Come on dude.
Okay tell her I'm super special awesome. Go away.
Fei opens his eyes and looks back to Xantia. "He's being a brat. Give me a second."
Fei closes his eyes again, exhaling out a long sigh. He places his hands on the edge of the table as if he expects the position to steady him.
Come on man, she's nervous enough as it is. I know you don't like being in the cell, but I didn't ask to be that cell either, okay?
...Tell her I feel .... tired. Always tired.
Fei opens his eyes. "He's tired. He seems to be tired a lot." Fei pauses. "I mean that's what he's saying. He's always tired. Tired of being tired I guess."
It's not always a simple question, Fei admits to himself quietly but in this case, maybe it isn't exactly super complicated either.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Is she growing up? It's not exactly a judgment that Xantia could make about herself. She may not even fully understand what it means to 'grow up'. And like all things that have to do with her mental development, you know bringing it up would just make her wonder whether she was more 'grown up' before she lost her memory. Always measuring herself against a standard that she doesn't even know.
Xantia studies Fei with interest when he... well, she has no idea what he's doing exactly. She's pretty sure that she's not going to learn anything about how it works by looking at it from the outside. But she can't keep herself from staring anyway.
It's something she's consciously aware of and feels awkward about, as is easy to tell when she briefly looks away as Fei opens his eyes again. Being told that Id is 'being a brat' however breaks that tension, causing her to start laughing before she nips that in the bud and recomposes. "Sure, take your time!" She's not at all surprised. It's actually already nice to hear that he's not being entirely cooperative. She's not sure what she was expecting, but in hindsight this feels like what she should have expected.
The next time Fei opens his eyes, Xantia no longer feels weird about staring, and there's only anticipation left. She smiles slightly, closing her own eyes when she hears the answer. "Tired... that makes sense. He's been through a lot. Not just lately." She couldn't even begin to imagine how much. But hearing that sort of thing just makes her want to make someone's day a little brighter, if she can. Possibly making people that much tired, with how much she talks, but that's just how she is. The words just happen, as they do now.
"I never really understood what you meant to say when you talked about choice. Now I see that the choices you make aren't what's most important, it's just... the ability, the freedom to choose. Which... you feel like you don't have, do you? Not really, not completely. But, if it matters... I want to thank you for the choices you made when talking to me. You didn't have to tell me anything. But you did, I've learned a lot thanks to you. So, if there's anything I can to do help, if there's anything you want to talk about, please let me know. I... want to be there for you."
Xantia opens her eyes, and looks briefly surprised to see Fei sitting there. She kind of lost herself in speaking her thoughts aloud, and needs a short moment to bring herself back to the here and now. At which point she apologises, "Sorry, I... that was a bit of a lot all at once. Could you, uh... well, you don't have to say all of that, just... so he knows what I mean, you know?"
This is sooo awkward.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei's frankly tired too, but that's not why he's here today. And honestly his tired is probably very different from Id's tired. It's such an encompassing word if you think about it.
Fei relaxes considerably when Xantia starts laughing. Laughing is a good sign, at least when it comes from Xantia. When Xantia wants to creep she seems to get silent. That's when he'd worry. Laughter is good. It IS true though that maybe not being cooperative is maybe a good sign for Id to still be the Id that Xantia knows. He's such a grouch but this kind of grouchiness Xantia is well accustomed to.
"That is a lot." Fei admits. "I'll try and break it up--"
Guardians... I can just hear her through you okay? You don't have to repeat everything she thinks!
"He says I don't have to-- Hold on. He's not done."
Tell her... There is a pause as Id himself is briefly at a loss. Between his pride and not wanting to tread lost ground, there almost isn't much he could say. It's the pride that takes up the most of that problem. Tell her that I'm impressed she's learned how to use another type of ether. Tell her we're tired of... losing family.
Fei is quiet when he opens his eyes again for a moment before he adds, "Um... well apparently I just need to 'deliver' for him not receive." Fei laughs awkwardly. "But ... he's pretty impressed by your fire punch! Ahaha..." Fei sweats faintly. "And um...he said he was tired of losing family. That we are. I uh."
His cheeks redden and he looks at the floor sheepishly. It's funny he just called her family himself, but 'hearing' Id say it too. GOOOSH.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Having seen Fei needing to take a moment to pass things on to Id before, this sudden change is a bit perplexing, and takes Xantia completely off guard. "Wha... he could hear all of that?!" It's not like there was anything there that he wasn't supposed to hear, of course. And she was pretty much talking as if addressing Id directly anyway. But it still has that kind of effect, just because the circumstances changed all of a sudden. Prompting her to blurt out, "You should've said so earlier!" She doesn't specify, but that one was probably meant for Id.
Letting out a breath, she shakes her head, and then does a decent impression of Fei's awkward laugh when she hears Id was impressed. Which actually makes her very happy to hear, but somehow now it feels weird again to let on just how happy she is. Instead, she just says, "Took me long enough, but I always knew I could do it!"
That's probably literally true. It's far more likely that this is something she used to be able to do than that this is an entirely new manifestation of Ether that she suddenly mastered. Just ask Lily: even she used to burn herself with her own fire - Xantia managed to make the fire she created not harm herself right away.
Xantia quiets down after the part about family, however. Even though it wasn't specified as such, she can't help but attribute this to herself. It doesn't really embarrass her, but it is a more serious topic, and she'll treat it with the seriousness it deserves.
"I'm not very good at protecting others, but... you don't have to worry about me. I'm not going anywhere. I know I've said that before, but, after everything that's happened... you can believe it, right? That I never give up? That I won't abandon anybody I care about? That I can handle being around you?"
She is of course looking at Fei when she says that, but this particular statement is meant for the both of them.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Id doesn't answer Xantia's demand that he be more forthcoming with stuff like that. That's how you can tell he's still an antagonist, he just doesn't say things that would help people solve things all that often. Much like with Fei, he tends to reveal the truth when it's too late or through an Idian lense that makes it difficult to wholeheartedly embrace what he's saying.
"It can be tough. Like, not in the emotional sense just in the...technique I guess of figuring out who is who sometimes." Fei asides to Xantia. It's weird, though, you'd think they would be polar opposites and in many ways they are, but it seems there are some things they concur on.
Such as Xantia being family. Why does he feel nice, knowing Id feels the same way? Shouldn't he hate it? Part of him rankles at the idea but the other part...
He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "Um..." Id is saying something to him but it's still taking him a moment to translate this time because he seems to be getting into a more complex response than he has been so far. Eventually Fei nods to himself and he adds, "I'll just quote him directly this time." Fei says.
"It's not just about being abandoned. This world kills those who are close to me. It doesn't matter how strong or stubborn they are. Siegfried lasted so long but even he couldn't avoid it forever. It is inevitable. There is only one way to take the future we want."
Fei pauses for a moment. "...I'm not sure...it's a good idea to share what he said after that."
He pauses for a moment.
"He's agreeing with me there. I guess that was just for me."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia tilts her head at Fei's attempted explanation of keeping his selves apart, not responding to it otherwise. She doesn't get it, of course. There's no way she could understand what it's like, not having experienced anything like that. It all looks much more clear-cut from where she's sitting. Even after learning the truth about Fei and Id, she's made it clear that she still sees them as being completely separate people. It's the only way things make any sense to her.
...She'd still like it better if she could see them both at the same time, though. And part of her would like to know exactly how this all works. She's just not going to ask about such complicated things. For now she's still figuring out how to best deal with the way things are.
Xantia keeps her thoughts to herself, waiting for Fei to relay Id's response. The direct quote... makes it feel more like she's talking to Id, even though it's still Fei who's saying it. Makes sense, either Fei actually hears Id say these things, or he would know the way Id would say the words, or so she figures. She leans back in her chair, hearing the spoken words, crossing her arms. She pauses in her response long enough for Fei to note there was more, but he probably shouldn't say what it was. She accepts that with a nod, only responding to the words she did hear.
"Well I guess it's true that I can't avoid it forever. It's kind of impossible for me to live anywhere near as long as Siegfried." Old age is a thing, she's pretty matter-of-fact about that. But that's not really the point.
Leaning forward, she continues, "Being killed, though... If that happened to me so easily, I would've been long dead already." Make no mistake, she's aware of having done a number of dumb things that should have gotten her killed. It's just that since it didn't happen, the lesson she's learned is that for her, it isn't necessary to be any more careful. Somehow, things will end up just fine.
...For her. She leans back again. "...But I know what you mean, in a way. The people around me... they get hurt all the time. Sometimes seriously. Maybe one day... worse than hurt. It worries me, a lot." She pauses, then her worried look turns into a smile. "But, I don't have to worry about that with you. And you don't have to worry about that with me. So, for as long as possible... I want us to be together."
She's long since stopped specifying whether she's talking to only one, or both of them.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
To be fair, it is the same body just two personalities. Id certainly doesn't sound like Fei when they are talking seperately but when Fei is trying to imitate Id, well, it's almost like he's saying it himself. Actually, if Id wasn't taking the different form for himself most of the time, then he WOULD look and sound just like that wouldn't he? Well, his facial expressions might be different. Fei kinda looked a little awkward there.
He is about to protest when Xantia says she can't be killed easily. That wasn't really the point after all, but Xantia seems to have more to say. And when she gets there, she does seem to get there. Fei's eyes widen faintly as it seems for the first time, someone is actually not just saying they're strong enough, they're also saying they understand what it's like about people around them. It feels like he actually communicated something that has been tough, very tough for him to get out there.
This lets him admit something that he hasn't really admitted before.
"I..." Fei laughs faintly. "...Sounding like Elly there. But I still worry about Elly. And I'm still going to worry about you. I don't think that's something I can just...turn off."
He smiles. "And if Id's anything like me, he's the same way. I guess that's not really uh great considering sometimes...but I think right now, especially, it's going to be tough to think like that. Maybe it won't be something I will ever have much an easier time dealing with." At least until they follow through on that last comment Fei hadn't shared.
"But...For what it's worth, thank you for saying that, Xantia. It means a lot to me."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Just be glad that Xantia isn't some kind of mad scientist or right now she'd be going 'maybe we can fix this' and start looking for ways to transfer personalities to their own seperate bodies.
As it is, she simply accepts things she doesn't figure there's any way to change until proven otherwise. It's lead to things working out well enough in the end so far. For her, anyway. This worry about others... they say it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, and Lily did lose one of those, even it if it did end up getting better. She blamed herself since it was her who got so close to Sin in the first place, leading to others getting that close to it also. Ever since then, she started noticing it more and more, and it's been getting more and more of a painful realization as a result.
Xantia thus feels that it's only natural to feel that way, and doesn't really realize this was a particularly tough topic for Fei at all. She just smiles when Fei laughs, wondering aloud, "I sound like Elly? Maybe I really am her sister after all."
...Was that a joke? Does Xantia make jokes now? There's probably some kind of story behind that remark, but if there is she doesn't explain it.
Instead, she just nods, agreeing, "Sure, sure, that's fine. I can't promise I won't worry about you either. Besides, I already made other promises to you, I can't make any promises that might break those." Those were more about making sure neither Fei nor Id do any Bad Things, but still, it's not like that doesn't count as a legitimate worry.
Her smile becomes all the more radiant when thanked, even though she doesn't really see what was special about what she said. She just said what was on her mind, like she always does. "Of course! I'm always happy to talk to you, Fei, you and Id!"