2019-01-06: Good Morning
- Log: Good Morning
- Cast: Riesenlied, Noeline
- Where: Mindscape
- Date: 6th January 2019
- Summary: Noeline meets Riesenlied within the mind, as she's still asleep. Takes place a few days after the Photosphere Sequence.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied is... asleep.
After the Photosphere. After all that had happened in Elru. After watching her father die before her very eyes, after pushing herself beyond her limits...
The Hyadean hadn't woken up for quite a while.
She's rested upon her bed in the Fereshte, changed into simple robes in the style of her tribe now, but she isn't awake. It isn't to say she isn't alert, though.
As she clings to Noeline in the coming days after, seemingly needing a drastic amount of recuperation in body, mind and spirit... they still have a way to speak to each other. As their rings of promise shine very softly, as the Tear thrums softly even within sleep.
And the little Hyadean sits alone, in a very important room as she holds her hand to her chest and awaits Noeline...
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
All too aware that her partner's recovery is going to take a great deal of time, and just as aware that sentence might be a terrible understatement, Noeline has at least done her best to ensure that her partner can be comfortable. That's about all she can manage herself, still fatigued from her own exertions throughout the Photosphere, her body still aching every time she moves and her nerved rattled by a thousand lingering anxieties.
Tonight she's silent as she studies Riesenlied's face in the midst of her sleep, tracing the other woman's cheek with a finger before she draws in a soft breath to herself, gently testing how recovered her sorcery is feeling. It still hurts, but it's a much duller ache - and so she tilts her head, nudging that power towards the piece of the Tear within her ring, letting sleep claim her as she ensures a slip into dreams.
When she next 'opens' her eyes, it is to offer herself a view of that room, and the little Hyadean within it. "... hello," she says with a fond smile, not really sure what to open up with or whether she might be abruptly intruding. Even if that's the case, part of her is still sure that Riesenlied's recuperation needs to continue here, as well. @emit %r%tAnxieties.%r%r%tPerhaps such is the exact word for it; there's no end of what feels like a dull, yet persistent buzzing kind of fear that encompasses her underneath. But she understands that Noeline is just as rattled...%r%r%t... and maybe, just maybe, that's why they're here.%r%r%tThe little Hyadean pauses, before she gets up and hurries towards Noeline's side and limpets onto her, embracing her rather firmly and fondly.%r%r%t"... i'm so glad... i'm so glad..."%r%r%tShe sniffles for a moment longer.%r%r%t"... i was scared. ... at... at a great many things... but also what you said."%r%r%tShe looks up to her, whimpering more softly. Like before, she has no face... but--%r%r%t--now, at least, she can try to fumble about to take a familiar mask and reach for it.
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Anxieties.
Perhaps such is the exact word for it; there's no end of what feels like a dull, yet persistent buzzing kind of fear that encompasses her underneath. But she understands that Noeline is just as rattled...
... and maybe, just maybe, that's why they're here.
The little Hyadean pauses, before she gets up and hurries towards Noeline's side and limpets onto her, embracing her rather firmly and fondly.
"... i'm so glad... i'm so glad..."
She sniffles for a moment longer.
"... i was scared. ... at... at a great many things... but also what you said."
She looks up to her, whimpering more softly. Like before, she has no face... but--
--now, at least, she can try to fumble about to take a familiar mask and reach for it.
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Noeline can't help but chuckle softly at the sight of the faceless girl, and feel a tiny moment of warm pride as the other inhabitant of this space makes the decision to spring up to her feet. She isn't used to having to drop to a kneeling position to hug her partner, but it certainly comes naturally enough as she scoops the other girl into her arms, closing her eyes as she returns the hug.
"... I... am truly sorry. On top of anything else, to scare you like that... it was never what I wanted to do. I would never wish to put distance between us." She hesitates, but this is not a space for bravado. "I am still not sure how well I'll do, but... I will certainly try my best, and keep trying."
Letting out a breath, she leans in to place a quick and light kiss atop the girl's forehead. "You did well. To hold out that long - to keep this space safe."
And then she pauses, waiting for the little Hyadean - letting her take her time at her own pace. @emit %r%tThe little Hyadean shivers further, breathing -- breathing, through that gap on her face, as the little spark shimmers within the void within her head. She clutches at that mask for a moment.%r%r%t"... i've been in here... lost in thoughts... all alone... but..."%r%r%tA pause.%r%r%t"no more..."%r%r%tThere's a shimmer as the spark turns slightly red as Noeline's hug, as she's kissed on the forehead. She quietly places the mask onto her face, and a luminescent shine engulfs her for a moment...%r%r%t... and she's more Noeline's size when she emerges the other end, face stained with tears that she's probably been shedding all this time.%r%r%t"don't be sorry... i want to be sorry too, to make you worry like that. to make you feel like you can't do anything... it..."%r%r%tA pause, as she clutches her a little closer.%r%r%t"i know for certain... you're the strength i've needed to continue on all this time. you do so much more than you think..."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
The little Hyadean shivers further, breathing -- breathing, through that gap on her face, as the little spark shimmers within the void within her head. She clutches at that mask for a moment.
"... i've been in here... lost in thoughts... all alone... but..."
A pause.
"no more..."
There's a shimmer as the spark turns slightly red as Noeline's hug, as she's kissed on the forehead. She quietly places the mask onto her face, and a luminescent shine engulfs her for a moment...
... and she's more Noeline's size when she emerges the other end, face stained with tears that she's probably been shedding all this time.
"don't be sorry... i want to be sorry too, to make you worry like that. to make you feel like you can't do anything... it..."
A pause, as she clutches her a little closer.
"i know for certain... you're the strength i've needed to continue on all this time. you do so much more than you think..." [OOC] Noeline says, "waah sorry, triage + tryin to word it"
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Noeline is not immune to surprise, especially not here in this space where she has no wish to rely on her bravado. She stays kneeling as she watches that light build and grow, marking it with a respectful silence - before having to raise her eyebrows and lift her gaze a little higher, and nearly losing her balance at the increased size of the other Hyadean as they clutch onto each other once more.
On an impulse, she decides to let herself pitch backwards anyway, dragging her partner with her into something of a pile - smiling up at her as her hands go to the other woman's cheeks, thumbs softly brushing away the trail of tears as she feels an affectionate, sympathetic lump begin to build in her throat.
"... we have both been through a great deal," she does her best to huff past it, reaching up further to redouble her embrace, her voice a little thick despite her efforts. "I know you would never want to make me feel that way. There was so much we could not control, so much happening. ... I can't say 'I won't be sorry' just like that, but... we both have time, now, to move forwards."
She lets the other Hyadean's conviction wash over her for a moment, letting out a peaceful sigh. "You as well... I've said it before, but I can only be your strength because you're there to draw it out of me," she promises softly, feeling her eyes water. "If not for you... I would not have come this far. And even if we trip up occasionally, I will stay at your side for us to continue on, together."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
"... i... figured... this might be better, in a way," speaks -- Riesenlied, perhaps more whole and together than she has been in a while, at least in mind and spirit. She softly sniffles for a moment, smiling wider as they're dragged onto the ground as she splays out by her side and flushing as Noeline thumbs at her cheek in that most affectionate of ways.
"things happened so... quickly," Riesenlied agrees, pausing in that moment as they lay in the space of her mind. It's not cold anymore. The frigid, broken cross is gone, replaced with a sacrosanct ankh of the Fereshte.
Maybe, just maybe, there's some healing slowly starting.
"we have... our habits to get past, but that's... part of the fun of being together, learning about each other's quirks..." Riesenlied idly recants. Even with that smile in her face, she bites her lip as she admits:
"... i... never got to say anything to him. to father. he came through in the end... he really did, but... then..."
A pause, as she sniffles and sobs a little louder into Noeline's shoulder.
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Noeline gazes fondly at Riesenlied next to her; her smile is affectionate and laced through with a quiet sort of relief, letting out a sigh as she allows herself a moment to burrow back against her partner. Whether she's noticed her surroundings and their shift is honestly a good question what with her attention and her gaze solely focused on her beloved, but the feel of the air around her is enough to pick out what she needs to know.
"... we're still learning about each other, even now. And-- I think that that's alright," she agrees with a lopsided but fond smile. "Even if we fight from time to time, or get upset or confused or worried - we'll still move forwards together. A pouting, upset Riesenlied, or a Riesenlied trying desperately to live up to those she revered, or a Riesenlied full of her usual warmth - they're all still you. I don't think it's getting 'past' our habits, so much as accepting and joining them."
Her eyes search Riesenlied's when she bites her lip - and instinctively she draws closer to the other woman, beginning to cradle her as she steers the blonde's head to her shoulder at the first sniffle. "... you may not have said anything... but you did speak to him," she replies, letting the conviction rise in her voice. "Your words, your actions, your hopes... they reached him. They touched him. If he came through, it was from your encouragement."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
There's a fonder, louder sob still; she shakes for a moment as she touches down and leans closer. She nods for a moment, gasping a bit louder as she whispers, pressing her cheek and whispering softer, "there are... there are so many things still... why did he have to..."
She wails just a little louder, burrowing into her. "i feel... strange... unusual things... an anger, a hatefulness... and it frightens me, noeline. i don't want to feel this way..."
A bite of her lip, as she looks closer towards her. "i shouldn't... i can't feel this way. it's not the outreach's way..."
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Noeline feels her jaw set, swallowing the lump in her throat as best she can; she shivers a little herself, briefly overwhelmed by a mixture of feelings. It isn't the same sorrow that Riesenlied holds - Noeline has not lost a father - but it is a sorrow for her sake, and a recognition of what Siegfried meant to each of them, and to the Hyadeans as a whole. There's anger in there towards Gebler, and frustration - and Riesenlied admits she feels the same, mirrored between them.
The breath she takes is a shaky one, but something tells her that this is important - that this is one of those times she needs to be strong for her partner's sake. When she interrupts Riesenlied's litany of worries, it's with a slow and deliberate kiss on the cheek against hers, and then she nudges closer, forehead against forehead as she meets the other woman's gaze.
"... it is alright to feel that way," she declares with the same conviction, picking out each word carefully. "None of us can help how we feel. Pushing it down, trying to pretend those feelings are not there - that is exactly what led to the two of us having so much trouble. And I absolutely do not want you to have you tell yourself that you feel nothing at what happened to him."
She pauses, and furrows her brow. "... it isn't the Outreach's way - but even if you lead it, no-one expects you to /be/ the Outreach at all times. First and foremost, you are yourself. If you need to cry, or if you need to rant and rave, or if you cannot bring yourself to help someone - then it is alright to admit that, and rely on the rest of us." Her whisper has turned fierce somewhere along the way; she catches herself, and softens her voice. "... you aren't alone. I promise."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied slumps just a little as she sets herself against Noeline closer; she's less resting at her side and more leaning now, some of that energy gone from her in exchange for a raw and fervent sobbing inbetween her burbling. She feels that kiss, returns it against her; their eyes meet.
"i do... i do feel that way... it feels like i'm betraying myself..." A pause, as she shivers closer. "but... you are right in that it would be worse to deny it, to bottle it up..."
She listens on how that's how the two of them had so much trouble, sniffling a little longer. "you're right... i--"
She hitches just a little as she hears that fierce whisper of Noeline's. Her mouth hangs open... for a moment, then whispers, "... i'm not alone. i'm not alone... and..."
She swallows as she tearfully tries to smile towards her. "... and-- and surrounding myself with my beloved, my family... that's the right way to recover."
<Pose Tracker> Noeline has posed.
Noeline's hands are back at Riesenlied's cheeks, holding her gaze; it's impossible to deny her own anger and hurt at Solaris, the look of it clear in her eyes, but she holds her expression steady. "It would only be betraying yourself if you denied what your father meant to you. To be angry, and to say 'I'm angry' - that is just being true to yourself. It takes strength," she adds with another of those lopsided smiles.
Closing her eyes, she makes sure to meet that smile with one of her own. "... we will be with you," she promises. "As long as you need, as often as you need. We won't judge you for how you feel. Especially not when we feel the same way," she admits after a brief moment. "Especially when we'll be there recovering with you."
Another pause-- and Noeline allows herself the chance to smile gently, leaning in to nudge her forehead against Riesenlied's. "... I'm looking forward to you seeing New Petra. ... it's grown a great deal. There's a pleasant energy to it. We're getting by, day by day by day. And looking forward to you being back with us."
<Pose Tracker> Riesenlied has posed.
Riesenlied trembles just a little further at that-- nodding, nodding again; it's not something she should nurse, to be certain. But to also not acknowledge it is its own danger...
"i felt... incredibly lost. for a moment i felt... as if i understood why someone would truly, genuinely want to hurt someone... and..."
A pause, hesitantly.
"... i'll... take that as a caution," she ends. Because she's smiling there for her, softly leaning forward as she whispers, "... i can't wait... to meet everyone again. in a way, it feels as if... it's going to be the first time /i'm/ going to meet them..."
Riesenlied's cheeks flush further, as she places her head forward for that soft kiss to the lips...
... that begins to melt into a warm kind of light--
--as she realises she's doing just so, hardly awake, and yet... as the first rays of the sun sneak out from the porthole of the Fereshte... as she hears the bustle of the engine and the thrum of activity from down below...
"Good morning..."