2020-10-30: There's Worse Ways To Be
- Log: There's Worse Ways To Be
- Cast: Fei Fong Wong, Xantia
- Where: Macalania
- Date: October 30, 2020
- Summary: In a lull following the battle to save those imprisoned by the Yevonites, Fei and Xantia catch up and discuss the war in Spira, the mysterious Xenia, and the nature of hobbies.
===============================<* Macalania *>================================
The Macalania region is home to two ancient, crystalline formations of unsurpassed mystery and beauty. The first is the Macalania Woods - a shining maze-like forest overseen by strange, ancient, birdlike Beastmen who speak in bizarre riddles and weave light like silk. The second is Lake Macalania - an eternally frozen lake surrounded by snowy crevasses, which one can just see the frozen Temple beneath. Macalania is a distant, remote region -- and full of its own dangers.
BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-4DXa-E__M&ab_channel=Ultimatefighter34311
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Macalania Woods is more dangerous than it used to be but maybe it's at least safer than civilization. Fei has caught up with THE FAMILY earlier but now is waiting in Macalania Woods to see if he can reconnect with his other friends. He is sitting by a tree and whittling at a small piece of wood with a knife as he's trying to make a little wooden figurine. There's a few failed attempts nearby. Homemade toys aren't exactly something he's accustomed to making.
Despite having caught up with Elly and friends, Fei is presently by himself. He seems pretty chill despite the danger but despite his behavior--he's more alert than he appears.
A small breeze ruffles the trees and keeps Fei just enough on edge that his guard isn't dropped entirely.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Civilization in Spira has kind of lost its appeal to Xantia. A war breaking out was one thing, but there isn't even a side in it that feels okay to support. And the Yevonites hold so much sway that it just feels like she has to be worried even around people who don't seem to have anything to do with this whole mess. It's not great, to put it mildly.
Comparatively, Macalania feels... uncomplicated. Just regular old low-key constant danger. That's not something that concerns Xantia a lot, as long as it's a problem she can just punch away it's hardly a problem at all. She's been sticking to this area a lot, as a result. Foraging for food instead of buying it, sleeping outside rather than indoors, that's really no big deal. The extra peace of mind that she has out here is worth it.
Of course, she has made sure that people can get in contact with her when they need to. Fei wanting to see her makes her just as enthused as it always does. Enthused enough to just drop right out of the trees and land next to Fei, with a cheerful, "Hi!" This seems like a perfectly fine thing to do under any circumstances, in her frame of reference.
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
That's war for you. Usually nobody benefits except for the people least likely to suffer if they lose.
...Well, not counting Wen Kinoc. He may have bit off more than he could chew there.
Fei brightens. "Oh dang! Xantia! Glad you made it out!" He hops up to his feet, dusts himself off, and thinks of BILLY LEE BLACK and his SISTER WHOM HE PROBABLY MISSES A LOT RIGHT NOW because he is STUCK ON THE MOON.
He decides to give Xantia a BIG HUG without so much of an extra word. Despite being 'on guard', he kind of figured Xantia would drop in on him this way. And she didn't tackle him into another zip code--so he's got a lot to be grateful for.
...Though it's kind of weird but... He kind of misses the concussion-causing expressions of joy sometimes.
He looks Xantia over, as if looking for any secret wounds Xan happens to be hiding for some reason before adding. "That was..."
He thinks. "...A trip, wasn't it?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
That's just how things go, isn't it? You drop out of a tree next to a person holding a knife and they hug you. That's a normal sequence of events, when your name is Xantia. Dropping directly on top of them foot-first probably wouldn't be much less normal in her estimation, buuut she hasn't actually done the whole tackling thing so much as of late, it's true. Probably for the best to not assume that she won't do that anymore though, she might be waiting for that moment...
Naturally, big hugs do beg to be returned, and she isn't at her most careful with holding back her strength, so... maybe a bit of soreness rather than a concussion is acceptable?
Afterwards, she steps back and does a bit of a twirl, as if proudly showing off how perfectly fine and injuryless she is. "Of course I'm just fine! I just had to... step out for a bit." She waves a hand as she pushes any further reasoning regarding that aside. "I'm just kind of hanging around here." That might be literal, she does enjoy hanging from things such as trees.
With a sigh and a shrug, she agrees, "It was, but I'd rather take a more fun trip next time. Can't say I much like what happened back there." Obvious to anyone from how angry she was. "But, at least it was something to do. I just feel kind of... lost now. I mean, we're back here, but now what?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei will probably be totally caught off guard the time Xantia actually hits Fei with it. Even if he knows she's there. He makes a faint 'errk...!' noise in reaction to Xantia's UNBRIDLED POWER and then exhales out slowly, cricking his body from side to side to work out the kinks. It mostly works.
"Me too," He admits. "Well not literally hanging out here. Metaphorically. I wanted to try and catch up with everybody. Get a feel for where folks are headed because uh--There doesn't seem to be a city to stay in and while I'm alright with camping outdoors, I'm not sure everyone's as used to uh--not having enough money for an inn as me and as such might not be used to this kind of roughing it."
He used to fund his stays by doing ARTIST COMMISSIONS of everybody's FURRY OCS.
Thinking about that makes him think of Josie and his expression sours. Now what indeed? Try to find a way back to Filgaia? Could be nice but there's a lot of problems up here too.
"No matter who wins the people here lose." Fei reflects. "Maybe we should make our way to Zanarkand or at least the Calm Lands. Do some investigation as to what our next step should be by learning more about the territory."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia just looks confused at the very notion of people not being used to camping outdoors. That was probably predictable, given that the Drifter lifestyle is pretty much all she knows. "I don't know what money has to do with that. Just depends on what makes the most sense to do, right? I actually still have a bunch of gil from when we were last time, but I wouldn't know where to find a safe inn in all this mess. But it's okay. Sleeping in trees isn't so bad."
She scratches her head as Fei offers some suggestions on what to do next. "I agree it would be nice if we could stop the war somehow, but I don't know what those places have to do with it. I don't even know what those places are." That's not atypical for Xantia. If she doesn't pick anything up from hearsay, she's generally fine with just going places and only learning about what they are after actually going there.
A bit uncomfortably, she adds, "But... you probably know that I'd rather get back to Filgaia right away, if that were possible." It was like that all the previous times Xantia was on Lunar, after all. But there's other factors at play beyond the way being away from Filgaia makes her feel.
"I'm very worried about what's happening back home. That... thing that we ran from. It's still there." Juno felt threatening enough that it only makes that nagging feeling worse. Xantia wraps her arms about herself. "...Was it wrong to run?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"Well, if there's no Sin--then the Guard don't have a reason to keep fighting right? War aside, their job here is to defeat Sin first." Fei considers this possibility for a bit before shaking his head. "Regardless, even if it doesn't stop the war--at least it's something we can do something about, maybe? Besides...it's not as if we can just keep Sin from flying around eating people or anything either."
He frowns, thinking about Lombardia. "...Least Lombardia's safe now." He still feels bad about her getting into such a situation for lending them a hand moments before they teleported back to Filgaia.
"I don't know." He admits. "But... I don't think we could've won the fight. So long as we survive," He smiles. "Then maybe we can actually get something done for the good of the world."
He looks to Xantia and adds, "The most important thing to do is to survive and live. The more we live--the more we can do. Suicidal heroics... they don't often have the kind of lasting impact that we hope for."
He is quiet a moment before smiling. "But other than that, and this, I hope you're doing okay?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia openly stares at Fei for his suggestion in how they could help in stopping the war. Then she nods. "I agree, I'd much rather get rid of that thing instead of fighting either side. That doesn't seem like it'd change anything, but if Sin goes away for good, everyone would be happy, right?" She chuckles. "I'm surprised you'd suggest that, though. Everyone seemed to have kind of given up on that idea. What changed?" As she says it, she hits upon one possibility herself. "...Was it those recordings, of Yuna and her friends?"
She seems embarrassed when Fei offers his take on fleeing, averting her eyes for a moment. "I guess... that is why I didn't try to stay and fight, in the end. I don't often feel like I can't win, but..." It's only now that she really thinks about why she felt like that, turning back to Fei with sudden understanding. "...It was in total control of that place. Something about that made me think 'you can't win if you fight it here'."
It's easier to feel better about it now that she understands that much, and she's able to smile again. "Yeah. Don't worry, I'll always choose to live. Aside from everything you said, I don't want to make you sad. So you can't do anything to make me sad either, okay? It's a promise!" She just kind of decided it is on her own. Not like she would accept any arguments, anyway.
She then places her arms behind her head. She seems to need to think about whether she's doing okay for the answer to be a simple 'yes'. But all she says about that is, "I'm worried about a few things, but there's not much I can do about them right now. So I guess I'm pretty okay. I'd be better if I had something to work on. Now that I'm done with Light training, I don't really know what to do when I have spare time."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"Well, it won't show up and start exploding cities or whatever." Fei shakes his head. "That's something right?" He has a small smile on his lips. "But--well, I guess I stopped giving up on it because... I don't exactly want to fight a war either, I guess."
He cracks a small smile. "And..." He lowers his head. "...Yeah, I guess now that you mention it. What was the point of rescuing her if she's just going to off herself? It's not right. I mean, we can't stop her but--if we can stop Sin somehow? Maybe she won't feel the need to...die for some...fake religion."
He crosses his arms. "I mean, I guess---I just don't feel it's right. And most of the people in Spira already hate us if they know of us--" He beams wide. "So it's not like it's gonna cause problems if they hate us more! Only so much a society can hate a bunch of heathens, right?"
Xantia seems embarrassed though. "Oh nah--Xan. You gotta know--no matter how strong we are--or think we are--there's always gonna be someone stronger. If power solved everything, the other me wouldn't be so pissed all the time." He frowns. "Not that I don't understand the feeling."
You can't win if you fight it here.
Fei frowns thoughtfully. Something about that...A little spark of an idea. Less than an idea really. But something to keep in mind. Sometimes you have to fight someone in the right place.
"I'll do my best, sis." Fei promises. "I know... I'm not always the most reliable. But I'll try. It's the least I can do. Elly told me not to run from her anymore, even if it meant--hurting her. And I don't... I don't want to do that, but if it hurts her more if I do that... Ahh, I don't know."
He shakes his head and adds, "Done with it already? You learn this stuff quick, Xan! You could try another element?"
Fei has no idea why that could be seen as a kind of crazy suggestion with regards to Ether.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia goes 'ooo' when Fei calls the Yevonite religion fake. "You really don't like them." It's not an accusation of any sort, she's actually kind of impressed. Not just because she agrees, but she's used to Fei being more nuanced in his choice of words. It stands out when he's being this direct, in a good way as far as she's concerned.
It goes without saying that she's on board, she didn't need any convincing to begin with. But she'll say it anyway. "Well, you won't be doing it alone, I'll help in any way I can." She shrugs a bit, admitting, "I don't really get the 'heathen' thing, anyway. So what if people don't believe the same things? People can believe whatever they want, it's the people who are using what people believe to control them who are the problem."
Xantia looks pensive a moment, regarding the 'always someone stronger' point. She certainly gets the frustration of being unable to solve problems by punching them. "Even Id thought it was a bad idea to fight Sin," she muses, before smiling. "Seems like a good opportunity to demonstrate how things that everyone says are impossible aren't actually impossible after all." She's been saying that all along. There's always a way, we just haven't found it yet.
Xantia doesn't seem as pleased with Fei's failure to answer the promise she decided on with decisiveness, putting her hands on her hips. "If you don't know, figure it out! It's not hard, all you have to do is support the people you care about. You don't need to think about it, just do what you know they'd want you to do. That's the only thing that makes sense, right?" She's good at oversimplifying things.
She makes a helpless gesture concerning the choice of a new element. "I already did all the ones that felt... easy isn't the right word. Obvious? Aside from Ice maybe, but I don't like to be cold, and the claw I have can already do that for me anyway. Wind seems pointless, I don't need to use Ether to blow people away. Not sure what else I could do..." She shakes her head. "I don't think I'm really interested in that right now, anyway."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"It's just... rubs me the wrong way." Fei's somewhere between agnostic and atheistic IN SPITE of the world having clear and obvious gods you can point to. He doesn't MIND the Guardians, of course, but they aren't exactly friends. He just...owes them for what they've done for Lily.
"Well I'm not saying we have to punch it out or something like that." Fei shrugs his shoulders. "But there's still a lot we don't know about Sin. We just sort of took the Church's word for it." Fei wags a finger idly. "The Church that just, like, threw us in jail for wanting to stop a forced wedding and has been super hypocritical?"
He shakes his head. "Yeah I mean... It's just hard to promise stuff like that decisively when I'm not entirely in control of... me." He smiles. "But uh--yeah, if I can help it..."
Oh no he's such a downer sometimes...!
"Yeah... And we still have to find that woman right? I'm honestly not sure where to go from here though."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It's all a lot simpler for Xantia. A 'god' is just a another type of being, just terminology. Not anything particularly special, there's lots of beings with all sorts of amazing powers. So she talks to Guardians the same way she would anyone else. No need for any more or less respect just based on nature. It's how they act, and how people act in their name, that's what's important.
But that's just seen in the way she is, she doesn't see much cause to talk about that. Talking about punching Sin is much more interesting. "I guess we don't have to, it just seems like the easiest way." For a certain definition of 'easy'. "I never believed it when they said it couldn't be done to begin with. I still don't." She looks down. "...But, you're right. We don't know enough for it to be a good idea to just attack it." Operation Mi'ihen proved that much. And the times she actually did try to just go up and punch it. That's just her way of dealing with problems.
Speaking of which, she is quick to put a hand on Fei's shoulder when he shows the slightest sign of being a downer. "Hey. You don't have to worry about when you're not in control. Someone'll always be there to bring you back. If not me, then Elly. If not Elly, then any of the other Wolves. You mean too much to too many people for that not to happen." After that moment of complete seriousness, she smiles again. "Just don't get lazy about it. If you don't try hard enough, I'm gonna yell at you."
Removing her hand, she then places it on her chin for a short moment. "That woman... you mean Xenia?" Obviously she'd been thinking about that. A good deal of the time, if previous experience is any indication. "I wish I could do something about that. But she probably didn't go here, to Spira. Oh, right! I didn't show you this, did I?"
Xantia opens the leather pouch hanging from her waist, feeling around the shaftless hammer head she keeps in there to retrieve a torn-out page from a notebook, then handing it to Fei. The note reads:
'We can't meet yet. Don't look for me, I'll find you. And please, don't be so careless.'
It's not signed, but the cursive handwriting, while not identical, bears a resemblance to Xantia's. "It was just there, I don't know how it got in there. But I have a pretty good idea."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei manages another awkward smile at Xantia's reassurance. "Yeah, I won't get lazy. ...But I'll be counting on you. Yell as much as you need to!"
He is well aware of how much he needs his support network. He tells himself this as much as the rest of the universe tells him which is, as it turns out, fairly frequently.
"Yeah, Xenia." Fei says. "Haven't heard a peep in a while so--"
Did she come to Spira? Fei shrugs haplessly. It's a woman he knows pretty much nothing about. For all he knows, she could be here. He has no idea of what she's up to. But he does startle upon seeing the note. He takes his time to read it over, then reads it over again as if to just make sure.
Aand he frowns. "...That's...certainly a message." Fei admits, looking to Xantia. "So she snuck up and slipped it in there? I suppose if she doesn't want us to look for her, I shouldn't worry about it."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia needs the support quite a bit herself. But that's pretty self-evident. She's not exactly shy about asking for help in figuring things out whenever she gets in any way stuck. She's pretty ready to help people in general, but it's that much more natural to do so when you know they'd do the same for you.
Including the yelling. That's something she'd want people to do for her as well when it's justified.
After Fei is done reading the letter, Xantia is quick to put her hand on it again, silently demanding it back. She may not say anything, or actively snatch it away before Fei is ready to release it, but the urgency is clear. This note, being the only thing she has of this Xenia, is of great value to her. Once it is released, it immediately disappears back into the pouch it was retrieved from.
"It's not exactly 'snuck up', if things happened the way I figure," Xantia starts, crossing her arms. "I... got careless, in the big battle on Kattelox. I couldn't really explain it in detail when we were running away, but I got caught in some big fire attack. And... the last thing I saw was this cloaked person surrounded by a blue glow, running at me through the flames. When I woke up, people were running into the ruins, so I ran in there too."
The conclusion is probably already obvious, but Xantia adds it with a level of drama that makes it evident that she thinks it might not be. "What I think... is that that message was planted on me while I was unconscious. And that the person who did that was the one who saved me. And that that person... was Xenia." Putting everything together, given how much Xantia had been looking for Xenia on Kattelox, it's the only thing that makes sense, or so she thinks.
With a shrug, she adds, "I don't know what this means, exactly. But if I didn't want to be found, not being on the same planet as the one looking for you seems like a pretty good idea. So I'm assuming that there's not even any point in trying to look for her here."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
Fei returns the note. He isn't going to MY PRECIOUS a note of personal importance to Xantia. It just took him a moment because it wasn't something he was actively thinking about. But he does smile, noting the faint protective glint in Xantia's eyes--the need for this item that would be, for most, just be a piece of paper and little else.
But she does say, "Oh...wow! That was real recent." Fei thinks it over. "Though if she was there---she might've come to Spira after all."
He crosses his arms in thought, frowning as he tries to work this out in his head. Eventually he shakes his head--it's all just guesswork, for the most part, unless he knows more.
But he is glad Xenia isn't secretly some alternate personality of Xantia that does supervillainy or something.
"I wonder why she doesn't want you to find her just yet." Fei sighs. "But I think listening to her request is a good idea. Nothing good'll come from forcing the matter."
Plus it's not like they have good leads right now. "But I can't help but wonder why." He admits.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia shrugs helplessly. "I guess she could be here. I still don't really know anything about what she's doing. But... if she could come in and rescue me like that, she must have have been watching me." She makes a face. "Wouldn't that be great, if I spent all this time looking for her, and she was just... watching me the whole time?"
But even that much is just speculation. And she has to admit, with a nod to Fei, "There's probably a reason for all this. I don't like not knowing what it is either, but yeah, if that's what she wants..."
She throws up her hands. "So, you see the problem. Everything's just kinda stuck for me, again. And I don't think trying to make another vacation out of this is going to work any better than it did last time. What am I gonna do now?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"I doubt she could be watching all the time. We first heard about her in Kattelox, though, didn't we? So she probably came on by while we were creating problems over there and stayed just out of sight."
Fei smiles. "Hey it's okay to be frustrated. But she's gotta have some reason for acting that way. Even if we don't know why."
Xantia says he sees the problem. He does. What should Xantia do now?
"Well, for better or worse, we've got a lot of people after us too. That gives us something to worry about besides our own dreams. We have to survive and not let them get the drop on us. I doubt they're gonna be throwing folks in jail if they catch 'em a second time."
Unless they really do just forgive them for...undergoing their trial and succeeding even though they weren't supposed to and nobody else was either.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia mms. "I guess you could be right. I just wish I knew anything for sure. Well, except being frustrated. I know you're right about that." Being forced to wait and see instead of actively making things happen is the worst.
She makes a fist. "If they're gonna come after us, that'd give me something to do, alright." She pauses, then smiles at Fei. "Don't worry, I won't rush into anything. Well, unless you want me to. But I sure wish there was anything I could do right now. It's boring to just... survive." She turns her head aside, thoughts wandering to how things were before the war. "I don't know how the people here have been able to settle for just surviving for so long. I guess they distract themselves with praying, or Blitzball, or whatever."
She turns back to Fei, looking more embarrassed than anything else. "I... don't have any hobbies, Fei. Not really. Not like you, when you're working on your art. There's a lot I could do, but I don't know what'll make it feel... satisfying. Instead of just something I'm doing to waste time." She scratches her head. "That's kind of boring, isn't it? Am I boring?"
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"You're anything but boring." Fei says pretty easily. "I suppose I might not be the best judge of that but you've always seemed pretty interesting to me."
He smiles and adds though, "The world isn't so exciting though to always have an adventure ready for you." He thinks it over and adds, "So I think--you should still try to find something to do that you enjoy that is a hobby but... I know you already have at least one."
He holds up an index finger. "You like to cook! And I mean--you are an excellent chef. I don't know how you see it but--cooking is a completely legitimate hobby!"
He smiles. "But that's the nice thing about hobbies. You can have as many as you want."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
"Well that's good," Xantia says with clear relief. "For a moment there I really thought that maybe I thought things around me were boring but it was actually me all along." Perhaps not the sort of thing one would think Xantia worried about, and one she certainly wouldn't have, once upon a time. It's an unfortunate side-effect of a journey of self-discovery, finding out about all the things that could possibly be a concern.
She's already started to try and put some kind of adventure in her mind when Fei mentions that, but the next thing he touches upon takes her totally off guard. "Huh? Cooking? That's a hobby? I thought it was just, you know, making food taste better." But now that she thinks about it, she's not sure why that didn't parse as a possible hobby to begin with.
Is it really hers, though? She shrugs slightly. "I don't know... I like to cook for you. But that's just because I like to see you happy." She chuckles. "Maybe that's my real hobby, making you happy. And my other hobbies are making everyone else I care about happy. Doesn't really matter to me what I'm doing, as long as it helps somebody."
<Pose Tracker> Fei Fong Wong has posed.
"Well," Fei admits on Xantia's hobby of making people happy. "If that's your hobby... You're rather talented at it." She does reach out to take Xantia's hand and give it a small squeeze. Fei could never see Xantia as boring... but much of what Fei feels is boring may be atypical. He finds war boring. Violence boring. Adventure, sometimes, boring. But good company is not boring to Fei Fong Wong and Xantia is nothing if not excellent company.
"I kind of admire your outlook." Fei admits. "But don't be afraid to experiment. Most of us, we've only got one life. It's only right to make the most of it--and sometimes making the most of it means trying different things. But if you just want to be someone who 'helps people she likes be happy'--hey, there's a lot of worse ways to be. You won't see me complaining."