2021-03-18: Weird Even For You
- Log: Weird Even For You
- Cast: Loren Voss, Lily Keil
- Where: Emulator Zone
- Date: March 18, 2021
- Summary: Occurs shortly after Woefully Waylaid. Loren has a bad (weird) moment and Lily chases after him. Mutual sniping and sarcasm ensues between old enemies.
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
At first, he really only is aware of the memory. Of the terror, of the absolute need to stave off and destroy the contents of that memory. His mind, such that it is, is more akin to the film on a soap bubble: he is aware of his surroundings, his real surroundings, in a distant, removed way.
There is flame. It pours out of him, disconnected and strange. And in the center of the flaming mandala, there is a shape. He looks at it.
He stares into its eye as it almost almost almost seems to
and the blue before him rips in two.
Loren stumbles backwards, making a sound that is about half sob, half gasp. He has a moment to stare down at his hands, his body's intact, right, isn't it intact, his hands are shaking, where are his glasses, his heart is
and bolts in the opposite direction, as if hell itself were on his heels. He gets maybe a few yards before he collapses, dropping to his knees and burying his head in his hands.
Deep breaths, deep breaths--
He's shaking. He's having a fucking fit in another dimension -- and a part of him is just aware enough to be livid that this is what he's doing -- and this is so not the time.
Calm down. CALM DOWN!
He needs to get a grip on himself and fast. His body, however, and most of his mind, are refusing to obey.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Rrrrrrrrrrrip!
Cosmically terrifying. That's fair. Lily Keil happens to find this place interesting, though. She does not have time to simply look around at it, though--there is Flame, all of a sudden, and it strange flame, and then there is the blue ripping, and then, and then--
Whatever comes of their companions, Lily does not leave Loren Voss to flee off into the vague space between dimensions, but with another curse (sorry Ashley), travels after him. "Handle it!" she says to the others, and bolts after him, looking sharply around for any traps or weirdnesses in the fabric of reality before she skids to a stop beside the collapsed Voss. She stares down at him, and her eye twitches. It isn't just her regular senses to which he's incredibly loud at the moment--she feels panic at the edge of her perceptions, floating vividly as if it might well be audible.
Space twists and folds as they go, but Lily pulls her knife and goes not for Loren, but the space around them, constructing in some strange way a small field of energy that coils up around them. She couldn't say exactly how she did it if asked.
"...This is weird even for you, Voss," she murmurs as she works, looking back behin him and... Waiting.
She's not going to touch him while he flips out; that would make things worse. Similarly, trying to use her magic to short out the panic--worse. So instead... She gives him a minute, and ensures nothing attacks them while she waits.
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
The worst part isn't even that he's had an existentially terrifying experience, on top of one really bad memory (that isn't even his!), the having-a-panic-attack bit, and the whole 'trapped in a weird alternate dimension' part of the deal.
No, the worst part of this is that he doesn't even get to have the dignity of going through this alone. Keil's come after him.
He might sound like he's practically wheezing at this point, trying to physiologically force what he can't quite get a grip on mentally. It should do something or other with the vagus nerve, the relaxation response--
Something like that. He can't really think as such.
"Shut it," he utters, between breaths. Deeper, that's right, he's got to breathe more deeply than this...
It takes about a minute more before he drops backwards, landing heavily on his rear. His hands fall to either side of him, palm-down on the ground. He's still shakey. He feels like an Emperor-damned mess. But he's not actively freaking out anymore and that's honestly a net plus.
Slowly he turns his head to stare up at Lily, defiant.
"...Having fun, Keil?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
If she'd left him alone, she might be rid of him permanently. It's a little late for that, though--and it's not something she was willing to do in all this. So, he's trying to force himself, but he can't think very well. Shut it, he says. That's more like him, anyway. She takes it as a good sign.
When he recovers himself, Lily has finished bounding the space with her unusual magic, putting away her knife and turning to cross her arms and look down at him. That defiant look...
Hmm. Is that what it takes to get over panic? Interesting.
"Yeah," she answers casually. "This space is very interesting. I wanted to know what was going on at the middle, but I guess we'll be relying on the others for that." She gestures to the expanse of dark around them.
"...Or do you mean watching you freak out?" she says, knowing that's what he meant in the first place. "No. Your emotions are loud and irritating. I'm glad you're over it."
Pause. "...That didn't look like standard Solarian Ether, though."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
He's had fits in pretty bad places before. This, though, takes the proverbial cake -- one wrong step and he could very well be stuck here forever. ...It's not like he knows how alternate dimensions work in general (the books he read (fiction) had never been consistent on the matter) or how this one works in particular.
Wouldn't that be a way to go, after all this. 'And he got on a train and vanished forever'.
What would his parents think?
"Too bad for you, I guess," he tells, glancing up at the 'sky'. He sits up after a moment or two more, encircling his right wrist with his left hand, his fingertips searching for what Lily would know to be the wrist pulse. He's taking his own pulse, continuing to take deeper breaths.
And grimaces when she bluntly refers to his fit just now. It's not that he would have wanted sympathy, from her of all people. But...
Shaking his head, he says instead, "Well, good. I'm not your entertainment. Did you do this ward yourself?"
And then she asks after that display of Ether and he outright scowls. Damn. And she'd know at this point since he had gone through the trouble of 'educating' her, all in a bid to attempt to drag the Black Wolves into war with Odessa.
Well, the latter part of that might still work, given current circumstances.
"Fine," he sighs, ultimately. "It's not standard. But it's still Solarian." After all he's the one doing it. It's not some... dangerous freak show talent. Like some others he could name.
...Right?
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
That would be something, all right. Lily doesn't apparently want that. So it thinks.
"Yep. Too bad for me."
Lily waits as Loren attends to himself, though she doesn't exactly stop talking. She could give sympathy, but... Well, would he have even wanted it? She remembers what comes of giving sympathy to someone like him beyond what's necessary. For now, though--he asks about the ward.
"Yeah," Lily answers. "It's just a matter of counterbalancing the dimensional harmonic. It should orient us back towards the other disturbance--that is, the train. I don't actually know how to break out of this place otherwise."
"Of course it's Solarian," Lily points out. "You did it. That's a tautology. But it's sure not usual."
"But you've had a lot of 'not usual' going for you, haven't you?"
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
Loren barely likes sympathy from those he does want to spend time with. With someone he actively doesn't like, well... he'd sooner jump off the edge of the world here.
...Nearly, anyway.
Pulse is still elevated... but that's expected. He continues to stay where he is, focusing instead on forcing himself back into some state of physiological calm. That memory...
He decides to leave well enough alone.
"I guess that's good enough," he allows, taking a moment to breath in a different sort of way, almost tasting the...
Damn, he thinks again, and this time not so much towards himself. When'd she get that good?
She's going to be a problem. ...Assuming they're not both trapped in some hell dimension for the rest of their natural lives, that is.
Of course it's Solarian, she remarks, and even though he'd been thinking along those very same lines he still grimaces. "Fine, you win the top student award, Keil. What's your point?"
That it's not usual.
"..." He is at first silent. He looks away from her. "...And?" he says, at last. "What are you getting at?"
He knows what she means. That doesn't mean he's going to make it easy for her, though.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Almost!
Lily, on the other hand, looks completely calm--almost if not entirely unaffected by the strange realm around them. She seems as comfortable as she would be anywhere else, perhaps moreso than in some places. She may not notice that particular advantage, except insofar as she's obviously calmer than he is.
Good enough, he says, and she lets it be at that. She isn't so worried about being trapped here--there's just the matter of what to do, and doing it. That's all.
"Well, good for me," she replies. "It's almost like I know what I'm talking about."
And? What is she getting at?
"You were acting strangely on Spira--altered state. That wouldn't on its own be unusual, but the specific things you seemed not to notice... Then there's the strange use of Fire you have here; I barely recognize it as fire except for the heat. And there's the way your demeanor's been changing."
"Then, there's this particular panic while you use it. ...And you know, that blue reminded me of something, too..."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
It's just more proof, as far as Loren's concerned, that something is very, very off about Lily Keil. As if the evidence on the table so far weren't enough, that is. Time was, he would have been unhappy about even being stuck anywhere at all, let alone a place like this, with her. But as she's grown in power...
Well. He has too.
He stands after a moment more, slowly, as if to prepare himself in the event he needs to take a seat again. Still. The sooner he's on his feet again, the better. He doesn't think she's going to use this moment to eradicate him from existence, but a little paranoia never hurt. And this is a situation that calls for AT LEAST a little paranoia.
Brushing himself off (and regretting the lack of a weapon, other than the thing that rests heavy in his bag that is) he regards her warily for a moment, as she remarks on his situation -- of late and just now.
"...And? What're you getting at? I could say something similar about you, Keil. Normal people don't blow people's heads off," he grouses.
'that blue reminded me of something'
And he feels for the first time a particularly raw burn of panic. Anat. Right, everyone had attacked them in the depths -- back then. If they knew what Anat was, would they...
He shifts his posture, growing that much more 'defensive' by the second. He looks like he would bite if provoked, nearly. But more like a guard dog and less like a wild animal protecting himself.
"..What? What did it 'remind you of', Keil?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily doesn't comment on Loren standing; indeed she isn't planning to erase him just now, because she could easily have left him to his own devices if she wanted that. ...Maybe she should have. A bit late now. But she isn't going to blame a little paranoia. Instead, though...
Lily looks back at Loren. "Normal people, huh?" she inquires. "Yeah, you're just an average Joe yourself there. Your everyday sky city man who can conjure rocks with his mind." She feels that panic--it's strange. It's very strange, that it would come up just at the mere reminder of whatever this was. She doesn't understand why, for that matter. But she has more or less committed...
And she won't know if she doesn't ask.
"...The first Primarch," Lily answers. "I'll have that particular shade of blue stuck in my head for a long, long time. It was an uncomfortable experience for a lot of people."
A shrug. "Not that I know what that would have to do with you. You aren't the one who stabbed people for it."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
Loren just gives her a look. "Normal where I come from," he shoots back -- well, it's normal enough, in Solaris. Though those who start showing the gift on their own usually get scouted, and those who join up usually end up with more ability that they would otherwise.
How far would he have gotten, learning it on his own? That's not a question he can answer, though...
"Sure was," he says, clipped, defensive on the matter of the Primarch. "I remember. You ran me though."
Is that the reason he's on guard, now?
"But get to the point. What do you mean by all this?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
"Ha. That's true. But maybe I'm normal where I come from," she answers. "We just don't know where that actually is." She seems amused, if anything. Certainly not fazed by the Look, though to be fair, Loren's Looks are pretty potent, she's just... Like that.
How far would he have gotten? Who knows? But Lily's gotten a long way. She's different though, isn't she?
"I remember," Lily says about running him through. "I might've done it anyway knowing what I know now, of course." She pauses, at that. Maybe that is the reason he's on guard... But maybe not.
"What I mean is I've noticed there's been something strange going on. And now you're using unusual Ether yourself. ...I'm not suggesting you confide in me or anything like that."
"I'm just pointing out that if I've noticed, I'm definitely not the only one. Consider it a courtesy. ...Sure, I'm curious what's going on with you, too. But your people don't take to difference very well, now do they?"
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
"If I knew where you came from, I'd make sure it got bombed," he tells her frankly, as he glances away and crosses his arms across his chest. "For the good of the world, of course."
He reminds her of what she did to him the one time -- and she counters that she'd probably have done it anyway, at this point that is. "Hmph," he grunts, scowling. "Well, it didn't take."
He remains on the defensive, forcing her to come at him directly as he bids her, unwilling to give up any further hints about what is eating at him precisely.
"So it's fine if you're strange, but it's not fine if it's me... right." He is, of course, unhelpful even in this. And then she says something that makes him outright bristle.
"And? Do you think I don't already get treated like-- tch." He looks away from her, sharply. "It's not your problem. I'm-- dealing with it," and absently he pats himself down as if searching for...
"...Damn, I left them back there. --Fine," he says to her. "So I ended up with some... weirdo talent like you. Once I learn to control it it'll be fine."
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily laughs at that frank statement, though it's almost a surprised laugh to go with it, certainly not traditional mirth. "I bet you would," she answers. "For the good of the world, of course. Can you imagine?"
"So it didn't," she admits of the stabbing, which is true enough. Would it have been for the best if it had, all that time ago? Or is it too late to make those kinds of judgements anyway? Probably. But the matter of strangeness...
"Yep," Lily answers. "I'm a nationless mercenary witch who does what she feels like. You're a good little soldier of Solaris." A beat, "If you're treated poorly, why bother staying? 'Loyalty'? They'll just use you and throw you away regardless."
Lily doesn't even sound bitter about it! Weirdly. Despite her having some experience in that area.
"But true, it's not my problem." Lily waves a hand vaguely, and looks into the distance as if she can see something. "It was an interesting trick," she says. "Maybe I should try it sometime."
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
He scowls, apparently unamused at her mirth, tossing her a glance that might more or less speak 'you would laugh about your home getting bombing wouldn't you'. It's not as fun when the other party doesn't even seem bothered by your threat, he thinks to himself distantly.
"Quit putting words into my mouth, Keil," he says, sourly. "You don't understand anything, and anyway, I don't care what they think about me. I'm going to do my job." It doesn't matter if some of the others sometimes treat him badly. It doesn't matter that his brother died and he's been left holding the bill. It doesn't matter that sometimes--
He's still been promoted the once, to Captain, even. He's still... managed something with himself, in spite of himself. He's still serving his country. And he can't let the others down.
No matter what they treat him like.
"Anyway, ask van Houten how well that defecting's doing for her, sometime," he finishes, looking away. ...Ugh, and she'd even seen that part of him, too.
He grimaces, again, when she says she should try that trick sometime. "Sure. Knock yourself out. Maybe you'll only set a few dozen on people on fire with it, even." Considering the fact that he's sort of stuck in here with her, perhaps he shouldn't be so shirty with her...
But that, in itself, is also sort of 'how Loren works'.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
It's certainly more fun this way for Lily.
"Oh, is that so?" Lily asks Loren about what he cares about. "Well, isn't that just great for you? I hope it works out for you." She might even mean it. Even if she sounds pretty dismissive about it, so she probably doesn't. But it's true that he's been promoted...
"Before or after she enjoys another seafood dinner with another fugitive?" the sorceress quips back to Loren. "Because it seems to be working out pretty well for her at the moment."
"Hmmmm," she says about setting people on fire. "Well, as long as they're not people I like it's fine, isn't it? Since I'm a savage and all."
It's hard to get someone too down when she's been pointing out the strangeness in the other guy already--she knows she has the advantage, here, and she's willing enough to keep it. ...Though they will be back to the train sooner or later...
<Pose Tracker> Loren Voss has posed.
"Hmph," he says, in response to her well wishes (???), folding his arms again over his chest. This is not an avenue upon which Loren wants speculate for very long.
And that may be just as well, since when he brings up Elly, Lily tells him just what she's been doing lately.
The look on Loren's face may be one that Lily will treasure forever. He utters something in his native tongue that is probably a bad word. No -- certainly a bad word! Then he sort of sets his jaw and looks away, evidently keen on pretending very hard that this exchange never happened.
"You're a wretched woman," he says, finally, in response to her remark about setting people on fire.
At least they're nearly back to the train. Even if they're in some sort of hell dimension, he can get away from her and try to get his bearings. Maybe even try to find a way out of here.