2021-08-12: Discussing Normal Things
- Log: Discussing Normal Things
- Cast: Xantia, Lily Keil
- Where: The Karlsefni
- Date: August 12, 2021
- Summary: Xantia rejoins the Black Wolves after sequestering herself for a time, and runs into Lily upon her return. The two proceed to Normal Things, like having had no Limiters to remove, drawing magic out people, and coming back from the dead.
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Following the events at Zanarkand, things have mostly settled down... in so far as the term 'settled down' is ever appropriate for any given Drifter. It's a calmer period compared to 'needing to scramble to avert a big disaster', at any rate, allowing for the Black Wolves to gather again under calmer circumstances.
Xantia has been absent a lot during the recent gatherings, enough to be noticeable. She hasn't even shared what she learned in Shevat with most, saying only that she needed some time to process it when questioned. That was a while ago - at this point, it certainly could lead one to believe that she's been minimizing opportunities to ask her about it on purpose. Even though she showed up at Zanarkand, she was supposed to have traveled there with the Wolves, but was late for the appointed time. Coincidence...?
Given recent behavior, it may have been less than expected that she'd turn up following the Memory Cube message of the Karlsefni being docked at the Thames. Especially since it was just a notification, not a call to gather. Nevertheless, arrive Xantia did, heading straight for the Black Wolves' ship. She lingers on the outside a moment and, not seeing anyone there, heads right on in. Though she doesn't announce herself, she doesn't exactly try to hide her presence either, the tell-tale sounds of her boots echoing through the ship's hallways as she heads for...
...Where is she heading? The answer may well be 'nowhere in particular'. Her overall bearing says 'preoccupied' more than anything, not having the look of someone who has much of a specific purpose in mind. Though of course, she wouldn't be here if she was trying to avoid people. If she's here, she must have decided on the opposite of what she seems to have been doing lately.
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Calmer circumstances, that's about right. Lily has been out and about, as per usual, spending little time in any single place--less than usual, even. She recalls Xantia's lateness--she recalls Xantia's quiet. But she happens to be on the ship herself, and when Xantia heads in, her boots echoing through the hallways, Lily hears her.
So she turns her direction a little to intercept.
"Xantia," the sorceress greets her, coming to a stop in the corridor and nodding her way. Lily is dressed in black and layers, longer sleeves with gloves, as well as sunglasses--she had been on her way out of the ship. Behind the sunglasses her eyes are still black with prismatic iris and pupil, as they have been since the battle at Zanarkand, despite letting go her transformation.
"It's good to see you."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
It's a good thing that Lily stopped some distance away, because Xantia doesn't respond immediately. Still a bit mentally distracted it seems, taking a couple more steps before slowly looking up, eyes widening slightly before she finally stops.
"Oh! Lily! Hi! Yeah, it's... it's been a while, hasn't it?"
She's less spontaneous than usual, that much is immediately apparent. She's taking a moment to think about what she's going to say, rather than speaking from the heart like she usually does. There's some measure of guilt involved, aware of her behavior as of late. That, and a lot of uncertainty. It's a little bit awkward, but at least she's managing to not look away from Lily. At times like this, it may be best to simply focus on what's most immediately on your mind.
"I, uh... I just came back from Shevat. I heard about the Limiters... wasn't surprised, somehow, it felt more like being reminded of something. I figured I'd best head over there to be sure."
Sure of what? She leaves a pause, though it's clear she's not done talking. Her emotions do shift during that pause. There's a distinct sense of annoyance there, before she speaks again.
"I didn't have one," she says matter-of-factly, with a shrug. "Not very surprising. If anything it helps to explain a few things." She shakes her head, smiling vaguely. "Surprised them, though. They started babbling to each other, couldn't make most of it out. But, I did catch one thing..."
She feigns shock without feeling it, probably mimicking the person who said it. "Another one?!" Smiling more genuinely, she continues in a more normal tone for her. "Guess who I immediately thought of?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
There's distractible and then there's distractible, and Xantia is the latter. Which is which? Well, Lily knows. She spots the guilt, she notes the annoyance, and she notes that it has in fact been a while.
"Ah, yeah?" The Limiters... and Shevat. Lily has more to say than she immediately says about that. Instead she listens for a moment--because Xantia isn't quite finished. And there...
Lily is wry at the impression. "You're right," she says. "I didn't have one, either. Shocked them pretty well. Citan actually bailed me out of talking about it more--I was pretty surprised myself at the time. They had... a lot to say about it to me."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia seems pretty pleased with herself for having guessed correctly, though she knows as well as Lily that was extrapolation more than guessing. She probably couldn't fully explain why that makes so much sense to her, although, well. 'It helps to explain a few things' would apply in Lily's case too, wouldn't it?
Xantia can't actually sense emotions, but... she can notice them pretty well. And it's easily noticed that she noticed, given that she shows overt concern over the way Lily responds. She doesn't get further than 'something's unusual', but when Xantia notices these things, one can probably already hear the questions coming.
Not right away, at least. She notes the mention of Citan with some amusement, perhaps having a certain picture of the situation in mind, and then looks a bit sheepish when learning they said a lot about it. "They did, huh? I, uh... I kind of just, walked out at that point. They were so busy talking to each other and waving at their screens, I think they forgot I was even there." She rubs the back of her head. "Maybe I should've been a bit more patient..."
When she looks back to Lily, that's when the obvious questions happen, from her own frame of reference. "So what did they say? Was it really that surprising? I figured, you know... isn't it kind of a relief that there's something, anything to help it make more sense that you could do things most people can't?"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
It sure would apply. But in the moment Lily notices the obvious concern, and makes a decision quickly--she could play it off... but why? Xantia is a friend. So she can hear the questions coming. But not entirely immediately. "Heh. That's fair. We ended up doing much the same, just not immediately."
What did they say? Well...
"It is on one level," Lily says. "But I also don't know why it's the case. And I know even less about where I might've come from than I did before--apparently my marks don't match anywhere they have on file, or any group they have on file. They guessed it might be Solaris... But I know that's not true, or close enough to."
"...The difficult part is that apparently, according to my genetics, I shouldn't be nearly as healthy as I am. Remember how I got sick when I couldn't use my Ether? Well, there seems to be a reason for that. ...The sort of disease that would explain being in a wheelchair. Like her."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Even though Xantia had no idea what kind of response she might get to her questions, she can't help but inwardly go 'I might have known' at that one. Every mystery that's cleared up only leaving one with more questions than before... she's intimately familiar with how that feels. Under the circumstances, she's reminded of one thing in particular...
But all she actually says is, "...I see." For the moment, at least. Even now, she couldn't think of any helpful suggestions on how to deal with those feelings. 'Try not to think about it' is about it. And that's a lot easier said than done.
She certainly seemed wholly empathetic on that part of the equation. How different then her reaction is to the second part. There's nothing but confusion in her eyes there, and not for the reason that she doesn't understand. That much is probably clear once she manages to say something, and it's only a single, hesitant word.
"...Yes?"
She's not surprised by the situation. She's surprised that this came as a surprise. Xantia understood long ago how dependent Lily is on being able to use Ether, and given that she managed to use her own powers to fix the problem that time... chances are that, at the very least subconsciously, she's had an idea of what was keeping Lily on her feet, and in what way.
She catches herself then, and shakes her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I mean, that probably wasn't pleasant to hear. But... the solution is already there, right? We just have to make sure it keeps working. You haven't had any trouble with it lately, have you?" Always ready to jump in and try to help on the slightest sign of problems.
But, perhaps, a trick she often applies can also work in reverse. When Xantia is uncomfortable talking about something, it helps to focus on another. If Lily is feeling uncomfortable... maybe it will help to talk about her own situation.
"...It's no different for me, regarding where I came from. They could only tell me about someone who looked just like me, who spent a few years in Shevat before dying, a long time ago. They're pretty sure we're not related, and that I've never been to Shevat myself. So that doesn't leave much..."
She tilts her head slightly, wondering aloud, "Maybe we just... came back."
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
Lily is usually at relative peace with the uncertainty--she's looking for answers, but there's a lot of 'now' to live in the meantime. But sometimes it's harder than other times. This is one of those.
Confusion--ah, yes. Of course. Lily remembers--of course Xantia would remember.
"...No, it makes sense," Lily admits. "The why not so much, but that there really is an underlying problem. It wasn't very pleasant though." A pause. Hmm. "...No. Quite the opposite, actually." She reaches up and lowers her sunglasses, revealing her strange eyes. "I have more magic than I know what to do with, since Zanarkand. It's almost a problem."
But no explosions have resulted, yet. Despite what Magilou says.
Xantia's thought is a good one--that does work for Lily as a rule. "...Mm. So they can't explain it, but there's a similarity..." She considers.
"...You've thought it too, then. I don't know how it would happen, but... it would explain a lot, wouldn't it?"
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Xantia doesn't seem to need any additional details on what's going on with Lily's body, given that she's not shy to ask any questions she has and that isn't one of them. She's more focused on the solution than the problem, in any event. Which she also encourages in others.
"Well, I think you're okay as long as you don't feel like anything's, you know... 'off'?" Still a little uncertain about using words in a non-literal sense. She knows that can mean other things than something not being connected or switched off... though, those might apply in this situation, also.
Something is indeed what could be called 'off' however, though not in any way that Xantia would have guessed. She openly stares at those bizarrely off-color eyes, stepping forward so she can look from closer up.
"Okay, that's not normal," she states needlessly, before waving a hand in front of Lily's eyes. "Can you see through that?" She didn't get the impression Lily was blind, but who knows. She wouldn't actually be that surprised if it turned out that Lily doesn't need to see to perceive everything around her just fine.
Struggling to find some way to help, she blurts out, "If there's too much magic, I could draw some out." Only to step back and hold up her hands as if to ward off possible objections. "I know, I know, bad idea, you need that. I'd rather not do it unless it's really, really necessary. But, y'know... it's something I can do. If it really does become a problem, and you don't see any other way. I'd just... have to be real careful."
She's also surprised to hear that Lily has considered the 'coming back' possibility regarding herself too. It came about moreso out of eliminating what's impossible, and not being left with much that could still be true. Lily may be at that point also, then. She can only nod slowly.
"It would. ...In a way, it would make more sense if out of the three people now who have my face, two of them are the same person." She sighs, and rubs her temples. "This is getting ridiculous. Even I think so, and I'm the one saying these things while thinking they could very well be true."
Shaking her head, she looks back to Lily. "Well, I'm not out of leads yet. Xenia knows. She must know. I'll just have to get her to tell me."
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
If all goes well it's something of a moot point, right?
"All on," she says, possibly being confusing because she's doing wordplay with the literal meaning of the word. But it might actually apply, too. The showing of her eyes, though--
"I can," Lily answers. "My markings are active, too--hence the gloves. I was planning to go out onto the Thames and I didn't want any awkward questions." It would make sense if Lily could get around without seeing, but not today! ...Yet.
"I had someone else do some of that too," Lily answers Xantia. "Between that and venting some in quiet places I've been able to get it down past dangerous levels... but I appreciate it--if I build up more than I can handle I might need to take you up on that. It's funny--I feel more in control of it, there's just... a lot to control, if that makes sense."
Lily has thought about it; how else would she be younger than her 'past self'? She doesn't know many other options.
"It would," Lily agrees. "...Yeah. It's a lot. But you're right--you're not out of leads yet. If I can help with Xenia, let me know. On the bright side... All this extra magic might help me help you with her, if it comes down to it. We need to get stronger, with everything that's going on."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
Makes sense to Xantia, to not worry too much about things before they become an immediate problem. She'll improvise, as usual. If you never make plans, you'll never question whether things could've gone better if you had one!
Xantia is predictably confused by the 'all on' response, but places a hand on her chin as she looks at Lily's covered hands. Seems like it started to make sense before she felt the need to ask about it. She nods. "I guess that would be something that stands out to people, huh? I'm still surprised sometimes by how people react to things like that." Bad habit of assuming that her Normal is the same as other people's Normal. But even she would have to admit that eyes like that would turn her head.
Her eyes briefly widen upon hearing that Lily's already had some magic draining done. Venting, too... "And it's still like that? I guess something really did get stuck 'on'?" She wasn't really meaning to make that a question, just a little unsure about if she's putting it in a way that makes sense. Wordplay is confusing, always have to worry about whether other people will know that what you're saying actually means what you meant it to mean.
She's a lot more certain about simple, normal things, like draining magic out of people. "If that happens, if you need a lot drained really quick... well, I'm confident I can do that, I'm just worried about doing too much. So... only if you ask, or if it looks like it'll be really bad if I don't."
She can't suppress the beginning of a chuckle on matters of control. "Makes complete sense. It sure feels like I need to control a lot more than I used to, and that it's easier." Her face falls, and she briefly looks away. "...Most of the time. My reactions to Solaris are getting worse. Whenever they're involved... well, you saw. I'm glad you were there to hold me back." She must be referring to that incident with her Gear while fighting Seraphita.
As for Xenia... just the mere mention of her name puts Xantia on edge. Not quite as extreme as her reactions to Solaris (which usually take more than just talking about them), but her dislike is palpable. She has zero interest in trying to get along with her self-proclaimed sister.
"Oh, don't worry. If I find out where she is, I'll let you know. I'll let everyone know. I'm not taking any chances with her."
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
"Standing out too much is dangerous--it makes you much easier to track, for one."
"Seems like it." Normal things! "...Good," Lily says. "I think you're right--it's better to avoid it if we can help it. Besides, you never know what'll happen with that much power flying around." She seems to agree to the idea if it's necessary, though. But control?
"Yeah." But her face falls, and... Ah, there. "I understand," she says. "Sometimes it's hard to keep control. Especially with something like that. Your reactions aren't unwarranted." Solaris is dangerous, and the enemy. Nevertheless...
"Good, though. It's too much of a risk to deal with her alone, either way."
<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.
"I have no idea how to not stand out," Xantia readily admits. Mixed feelings behind the accompanying grin. She's comfortable with who she is in that respect, not so much with the situations that gets her into at times, particularly the ones that can't be solved with fists. At least she listens when told to take precautionary measures, she's just not often going to think of doing that herself.
But where it comes to using her powers, there's plenty of confidence there. "Don't worry. If things get that out of control, I'll find a way to contain it." Even if she'd rather not have to... "...As long as I can focus it all on me, I can handle it." She genuinely believes that, but who knows whether that claim has a solid basis. She doesn't seem to about to explain.
At the very least, she was more comfortable when talking about that subject than where it comes to Solaris. "...not unwarranted, maybe. But when I do what, I want that to be my decision. I really have to fight what my memories are trying to make me do sometimes... at least, I think that's what's happening. If I'm saying or doing things that seem 'not me', I really need someone to tell me to realize it. So... believe me when I say I'm really thankful for good friends like you, looking out for me."
After that heartfelt moment, Xantia doesn't feel like continuing to talk about Xenia. Instead, she suggests, "So, hey, how about I join you out there? I don't know what you were planning to do, but that's fine, whatever's fine. I've been by myself too much lately, it'll be nice. Anything's fun with good company!"
<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.
"Heh. Fair enough. For me it's old habits, I guess." Back when she was a lot less loud about who she is, when she was a soldier in Kislev and the time immediately thereafter...
"All right," Lily says to Xantia's assurance. She seems to take the other woman at her word--and if anyone could do it, it might be her. But she still doesn't want to test it, either. She doesn't look for explanations. Instead...
"Yeah, I understand. I'm glad to do it. We have to look out for each other--that's how we can keep going."
But Xantia has a suggestion and, "Sure. I was going to collect a few parts for something I was working on, but it's no particular rush. Come on." She puts back on her sunglasses, and starts for the exit.