2021-09-03: Some Truths are Best Left Buried
- Log: Some Truths are Best Left Buried
- Cast: Citan Uzuki, Xenia
- Where: The Thames - Market
- Date: September 03, 2021
- Summary: As it turns out, Xenia is in need of some assistance. She approaches Citan in the hopes of making her case to him, but...
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
There are places, here and there, that are more choice for collecting spare parts and the like. In Filgaia -- on the surface at least -- these more or less fall into two kinds of groupings: dig sites and those who flock to them and the debris they turn up, and full-on markets.
The Thames more or less falls into the latter category. Most of their incoming machinery parts are salvage from the seafloor (a few decades or so of this and they've yet to really scratch the surface of at least two prior civilization, to say nothing of more recent wars than that) but some of their number make a brisk business buying scrap from places further afield like Guild Galad and Meria and the like. Machines break down eventually, and not everyone has the the wherewithall to repare or simply use the scrap, and so it ends up here inevitably.
...Perhaps this makes the Thames a bit of a floating junkyard even at the best of times. But waste not, want not is the salvager's way. Besides, there are things sold here that aren't just scrap.
Citan is here not merely out of curiosity, though he has browsed the market simply to see if anything rare has turned up before.
He's here on the off-chance, as he takes a detour on his way to Shevat, to see if anyone might have turned up with parts for an older-model Strauss camera. After all, currently, his camera simply won't take images properly at all.
And while he might have better luck combing the shops of Guild Galad, it's also that much further away from all to which he must currently attend.
"Hmmm..."
He picks up a particular component gingerly, turning it this way and that. It's a slightly more recent flash tube, if he's not mistaken, but there's the chance he could make this work. And it's more likely than the others he's looked at. Still, there's the very real possibility he might have to live with the issue until he can seek out the appropriate part...
"And how much did you say that this component would cost?"
<Pose Tracker> Xenia has posed.
Ever had the feeling that you were being watched? Citan may have had that feeling for some time now. This is a public place of course, an open market with lots of individuals going about their business... and yet. If it feels as if there's someone here who has an interest in the simple country doctor/photographer in particular, that may be for a reason.
Yet if this were indeed the case, whoever is watching has been careful about avoiding detection. Looking about for individuals who suspiciously continued to be present in the same general area as the simple country doctor would have yielded no obvious results. If someone had indeed been watching, it would've had to be either from very far away... or someone very capable in the art of not crossing line of sight with their target.
And then it's simply there all of a sudden. A presence directly beside Citan, appearing seemingly out of nowhere, almost simultaneously with the sensation of a hand being placed upon the good doctor's lower back. And accompanied by a familiar cheerful voice.
"Hi, doc! Fancy meeting you here! Oooh, is that for your camera?"
It certainly sounds like Xantia, right down to the attitude and intonation. But there's several signs that this is not who it is. The black hooded cloak - which Citan may have spotted several different people around the market wearing - is one thing, but one look at her smiling face would be enough by itself. Those blue-tinted shades are unmistakably the ones that Xenia was wearing before. There's also the fact that the friendly hand on his back isn't quite as friendly as it appears, a passive, though palpaply threatening current of Ether present in this individual's glove.
That, and she moves to make it obvious herself, by whispering in Citan's ear.
"We need to talk. Just play along, and get away from the crowds when you can."
Xenia's demeanor remains perfectly pleasant as she raises her voice back to normal volume. "Y'know, if you didn't bring enough money I could help you out there. What are friends for, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
It would hardly be the first time. Not even counting his time in Jugend, or the time preceding -- in fact, the doctor would say, if forced to admit it in no uncertain terms, that the only time he had never really had the suspicion he was being watched in some capacity was during those years in Lahan.
Who watches the watchers? Indeed.
But this is one of the few times when he hasn't been able to quite determine who it was who had been watching him. That was actually somewhat troubling. Even his attempts to, as casually as possible, try to merely confirm his suspicions have led to nothing. Either the person watching him is quite far away, or--
Very close at hand, indeed.
"Xantia? Fancy meeting you here," he remarks, to the outside world as casual as can be. He turns his head a fraction, barely enough to glance back over his shoulder. Citan smiles easily, a man simply meeting unexpectedly with a companion. He's tensed against her hand.
Only 'Xantia' will be able to notice this, the only sign that he's very aware that all is not as it seems.
After all, a threatening amount of Ether is there gathering. It is for now only a threat.
"What brings you to the Thames? If I had known you would be here..."
He trails off as she leans in to whisper into his ear; leaning in to listen to her ever word. If he hadn't already had room to guess, then the color of those shades merely clinch his assessment of the situation.
"Ah, I see I do not have a choice," he says mildly in a whisper of his own, that slight smile of his never dropping for even a second.
And he continues more loudly, "Now, do you really think I am that careless, Xantia? I believe I should have sufficient funds. ...Ah, it was 500? Are you certain?" he answers the stallkeeper, before trading the sufficient amount of money for the component.
"Well, thank you kindly," Citan tells them, tucking away the part carefully. He will have to see if he can make it work at a later date. "Now then, where was that stand you had mentioned, Xantia...?" he says, turning her way.
<Pose Tracker> Xenia has posed.
If there's any indication of Xenia's awareness of how Citan is taking the situation, she doesn't let it show. She, too, is 'playing along' with this situation, playing her part as one friend meeting another.
"I'm here for the same reason, I was shopping too!"
Which... may actually be true, given that under her free arm is a package of some kind, wrapped in simple, unlabeled brown paper. But if so, it is, of course, unlikely to have been the only reason.
She only lets out a 'heh' in response to Citan claiming he has no choice. It's not out of being pleased with being in an advantageous position or anything like that. She just doesn't believe that statement for a second, and doesn't care if that's plain to see. Citan is choosing to go along with this, and has probably thought of six different ways he could get out of this by now. That's her assumption, based on what she knows - which is clearly a lot, given that she could guess what Citan would be using a part like this for.
As if to reinforce that, she answers his question, "Oh no, of course not! I'm sure you thought of everything, as usual! Just, you know. I don't want you to get into any trouble or anything. Or feel that you need to haggle. Let's give these poor, innocent people a break, shall we?"
That's another way you can tell that this isn't Xantia. She can do subtext.
The business at this stall concluded, Xenia keeps her hand in place, only nudging Citan gently in the direction she wants to go. "Oh, it's right over here... come on, I'll show you!"
She only waits until getting barely out of earshot of the stallkeeper before she drops her voice to a lower volume again, remarking, "I really do just want to talk. Forgive me if I felt like just asking nicely wouldn't get me anywhere."
Assuming Citan is willing to go along with things this far, Xenia will lead him over to... actually it is a stand, technically. An unmanned one, devoid of merchandise, that has seen better days. Probably marked for replacement, but for now tucked away into a quiet corner - a place where people have no business, and thus perfect as far as Xenia is concerned. She will back away from Citan at this point after tossing the package aside, raising her hands as if to show she has no hostile intentions.
And her first question will be a simple one, if rather vague, requiring an educated guess as to what she's asking about.
"So, can I just ask... what were you thinking??"
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
"Oh, so I see. A pity. We might have head out here together," he says, shaking his head.
This is only a conversation between friends.
"I appreciate your concern," he tells 'Xantia', "but I feel I have the situation under control. And as much as I would not mind the challenge of haggling..."
The money is exchanged, without complaint.
"...I must be on my way sooner rather than later. And there are more errands to run."
So of course he goes to finish them with her rather than on his own. It just makes sense.
"Right over there? Very well." He follows along gamely enough. Citan doesn't even glance back over his shoulder.
There would be no point. He got a good enough look a few moments before when he turned towards 'Xantia' and nothing stood out to him immediately then.
Sometimes the key to being watchful is to not actively stay on watch. The point at which one can passively observe and absorb their surroundings, on the other hand...
"You did not? Hmm... I find that asking nicely gets me most places," he remarks to Xenia as they make their way somewhere further afield from the bustling crowd. "But different people prefer different approaches. Why, I do not think most of our 'merry band' would prefer the gentler touch, but it appears to suit them well enough."
He talks to her, as if he were talking to Xantia. Is he still convinced that someone might be overhearing them?
No one is about here in this corner to where Xenia leads him. He takes a moment to glance about as if to assess its contents and then finishes with a slight, barely perceptible nod.
Her hands are empty.
The problem is, so are his, and it isn't as if he needs a weapon in hand, either.
"...What was I thinking?" he echoes, tilting his head to one side. If anything, his expression betrays mild confusion, his brow furrowing as if he were struggling to pinpoint exactly what it is that she was referring to. "Well, I had been considering whether or not this flash tube would be a suitable replacement. You see, this is not quite the same model as the one my camera uses. It is of more recent make. The connections and shape suggest that it may well work, but there is a difference between theory and practice, one might say. Once I return, I will see if my suspicions are correct."
He regards her silently, then, as if to consider whether or not that was the answer she was looking for.
Just, really casually. Out of curiosity.
<Pose Tracker> Xenia has posed.
Xenia only plays this 'game' for as long as she has to, and no longer than that. This isn't something that she actually enjoys. In fact, the longer it goes on - the more that Citan says, specifically - the clearer it becomes that her mood is souring. She manages to maintain a mask of pleasantness while in the public eye, but you can tell she's struggling. The eyetwitches give it away. As such, she only responds to him again when he starts going on about the 'gentler touch', through gritted teeth.
"If I didn't before, I'd definitely prefer a different sort of touch right about now."
That was only a hint of mild annoyance, on her scale. It's far more visible once the two have reached the stall, and Citan answers her question... well, like that. The patience can be seen draining from her expression, and she takes a moment to simply stare at him afterwards.
"Do you ever get tired of playing the fool? I know who you are. You know who I am. Let's not pretend any longer than we have to. I literally do not have time for this."
With a sigh, Xenia rubs her temples. This is off to a terrible start. As such, she suggests, "Alright. Let's start over." With that, she flips back the hood of her cloak to clearly present herself as who she is, repeating, "Alright? No more pretending, starting now. I hope you'll treat my next question more seriously. It's important. For everybody."
Crossing her arms, she continues, "This is about Xantia, of course. You should have figured out that she would likely be able to learn something in Shevat. And yet, you let her go there, even though I tried to make it clear that this was a bad idea. Was I too subtle? Or did you just not believe me?" She holds up a hand. "--Don't answer that, that wasn't the question yet. And it doesn't matter anyway, too late for that now."
She recrosses her arms briefly, looking down as she seems to need a moment to figure out her phrasing. When she has, she takes a more casual pose, one hand on her hip.
"Do you have any idea what she learned up there?" She doesn't leave a pause to answer -- that wasn't the question yet either. She knows the answer to this one. "No, you don't. She never told you."
This is true. When questioned, Xantia would only say that she needed a little time to process everything, and she'd talk about it later. And then never did. Not to Citan, at least.
Xenia, evidently aware of this, suggests, "You should ask her. And make sure she tells you everything. If she trusts you enough to do that, maybe it's not too late for you to something about this. Because you really, really need to do something about this."
Still no question. She starts to pace alongside the stall. "You deal with a lot of problem cases, don't you, 'doctor'." She makes certain to slip a hint of sarcasm, strong enough to hear the airquotes when using that word.
"I wonder if you might not be underestimating just how big of a problem case Xantia is. Given how things are progressing, I figured I'd better clear that up for you, just so we're on the same page."
And then, finally, there's a question: "So tell me, 'doctor'. Just so I can gauge how much you've already figured out. In your professional opinion... what do you believe will happen when Xantia remembers who she used to be?"
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
"I do not think it is quite a foolish thing, myself," Citan debates with her nonetheless, but he can tell that he has pushed her far enough. "Nevertheless... as you wish, Xenia. You are Xantia's younger sister in truth, then? I have wondered, I admit, since we had last encountered one another... are you and she the only siblings?" He smiles easily enough before adding, "Consider it a mild curiosity on my part."
He does not make a single remark about that comment on her part -- that she says she knows who he is.
So... this was about Shevat.
"I see... you wish her to remain ignorant. And you fear, too, that she will learn something that will be dangerous to her." He folds his arms over his chest, bowing his head slightly as if to consider what it is that she has just said. "I had that impression previously as well, but I could not assume it was the case. ...I have wanted to ask you about this, Xenia. Now, tell me, while we are being honest to one another. Do you fear Xantia?"
Just as she stated, perhaps, he does not answer the question directly.
"No, she has not," he tells her. "In fact, she has only said that she has had much to consider. So you think that I should press her on this, then? Hmm... It may not be unwise."
A lot had happened in rapid succession while in Shevat, after all, and what with what had followed in Spira... there hasn't been the opportunity to follow up since. But perhaps...
"You may phrase it in that way, if you wish," is his response; he slightly shakes his head. "Regardless... the way in which you are speaking about Xantia... I have wondered this as well. If she is as large a threat as you say she is, then why have you not neutralized her? ...I do not think that 'sororial love' is holding you back. Indeed, your actions suggest rather the opposite. It feels as if you are her minder, but you are taking quite the light-handed touch."
He pauses, resting a hand against his chin.
"Or perhaps, that is the point? As matters stand, she remains under your control. No-- the control of the one who controls you. The both of you are similarly chained."
He means their collars.
"Though I do not think that regaining her memory will free her. Tell me... How many people has Xantia killed?"
There is not so much as a twitch of the corner of his mouth, no sign at all that the doctor is playing games anymore.
<Pose Tracker> Xenia has posed.
With Citan asking a question of his own after responding the way he did to Xenia's, her reaction is perhaps as expected. "I don't know what you mean. Clearly I'm the Queen of Adlehyde and Xantia is the Holy Mother of Nisan."
She immediately grimaces in disgust. "I don't know how you do that with a straight face, this isn't funny even as a joke. You know what, fine, I'll show you how it's done and give you a real answer: yes, Xantia is my only sister, I have no other siblings. See? Wasn't hard at all. Maybe it's not very interesting, but it's true, and that's what matters."
Steeped in annoyance though it may have been, there are no obvious signs of that having been a lie, at least. But this wasn't what Xenia wanted to talk about, so she quickly moves on. She remains confident while speaking, but when Citan answers her a counter-question, she looks uncomfortable, and seems to need a moment to inwardly debate what answer she wants to give here. In the end, she briefly closes her eyes and sighs deeply, before opening them again.
"...Okay. Fine. If it'll make it easier for you to trust me, I'll tell you my motivation, because I don't think you'll find it difficult to believe. What I do... I'm doing for purely selfish reasons. I don't care if you people mess things up for yourselves. But it'll cause problems for me if things keep going the way they have been. So I have to take steps to alter the course of things."
After a short pause, she adds a more direct answer. "...Yes. Yes I do fear Xantia. You would too, if you knew the whole story."
Which indeed begs the question: why not remove Xantia from the picture entirely. Xenia remains quiet on that. With the raise of her eyebrows as Citan speaks, it is clear that she's impressed with how much he's been able to piece together already. So much so that she needs a moment to gather her thoughts on this. How many has Xantia killed, though...? That one just gets a casual shrug.
"More than I care to keep count of. And more than she should be aware of. Remembering all of that alone would be..."
She trails off. That question and its answer are not what she's interested in. She mentally backtracks to everything else that Citan said, and goes from there.
"...If you've figured out that much, then you must realize that I'm limited in how I can act. I hope you understand that I'm taking a big risk contacting you like this. This may be the last chance I'll ever get. But... this is promising. Maybe there's something you can do. Somebody must do something. Like I said... if nothing changes, this will not end well for anybody. You want my guess on how things will go?"
Though she seemed taken aback for a bit there, Xenia seems more confident in her bearing as she sketches the hypothetical scenario. This isn't something she needs to think as much about.
"If Xantia regains her memories... she will eliminate everything and everyone that does not belong on this planet."
She pauses to let that sink in, before starting to elaborate. "If I had to guess... Riesenlied will be first. Easy target as long as you catch her off-guard, but likely to become a major threat once aware of the situation, makes sense to take her out before anything else."
She holds up a hand as if to stave off any form of protest. "'But Xenia, Riesenlied is an ally of Filgaia, wishing for nothing more than to preserve the planet and its people.' Is that what you were thinking? Then you still don't get it. Riesenlied is a Hyadean. Hyadeans are not native to Filgaia. Xantia will seek to eliminate all outside influences. There will be no grey areas."
Finding momentum, Xenia becomes more animated as she continues. "Don't believe me? Here's a fun fact: when memories first started coming back to her in earnest, one of the first things she did was slaughter defenseless Hyadean would-be survivors of the Photosphere battle. Ask her if you want, she won't deny it. Lily Keil can confirm, too."
She's still not done. Next she points a finger directly at Citan. "You'll probably be high on the list yourself, Hyuga Ricdeau, formerly of the Elements. Between you and Elhaym, I wonder who she'd target first? Maybe you should hope it's you. After all, when he loses her, I'm certain that Fei will..."
She stops herself there, slowly lowering her hand. "...well. Hypotheticals aside, I hope I've made myself clear this time. How about we try our best to avoid this whole mess altogether, hmm?"
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
His expression doesn't so much as twitch. He bears the same even, friendly smile as he usually does as she remarks that she's the Queen of Adlehyde and Xantia is the Holy Mother. The only thing he does in fact is to tilt his head slightly to one side as if to quietly ask, 'is that so'?
Of course he knows that isn't the case. Nevertheless.
"I see. So I should not expect any more siblings to arrive," he answers without so much as missing a beat. "That is simply something I wished to confirm. Where there is one sibling there may be more. But it seems there are only the two of you. That is... both a very good and a very bad thing."
Good, because they won't need to worry about another sister. Bad, because it means that they only needed two.
"Then I will listen," he says, when she says she will explain herself.
"That is quite alright. Good things can be done for selfish reasons," he remarks, studying her still as she begins to explain.
She fears her sister.
"So it was as I had thought. I have never had a sister, but the way in which siblings can act..." He shakes his head, abandoning that line utterly. "No. Please continue. Tell me what it is that you fear about her."
He's since stopped smiling, his entire expression -- demeanor -- receptive, sober. He's listening, at the very least. A lot of information can be gleaned just by listening.
"You think it would cause a sort of psychological collapse, followed by reversion to..."
And Citan nods when she confirms what he's gleaned. "They may be watching you even now. Tell me, do they wish her to remember who she was? Or are they content with her as she is now? Was the loss of her memories planned or an anomaly?" The questions do come quickly -- he likely understands well that they're operating on limited time, and that he'll not have another chance.
'If Xantia regains her memories...'
"Is that the goal of the one who controls you? It is a rather blunt way of going about it, I must say... flagging entire groups as the enemy and moving ahead from that premise... It almost seems something Solaris might attempt. But I do not think you are their instrument." He pauses.
"But I have known to be wrong before."
The matter of Stein comes to mind. If Jessie hadn't told him that 'Bishop Stone' was probably from the home country, he might not have realized it until too late. Indeed, it had only been at the last moment that he had realized who 'Stone' had been back then.
"Lily... I see. I shall speak to her, then. But I do not think you are lying."
He doesn't flinch or even bat an eye when she suggests that Xantia might see him as a threat and go for him first. But when she mentions that Xantia might go after Elly instead and the fallout that would proceed from there, his stance shifts ever so slightly. More tension gathers at his shoulders, he straightens just that much.
"And you are convinced that it would play out in precisely this manner. ...How strange. Tell me, who is it that pulls your strings? Or are you unable to say?"
He's not done, even when she suggests they work to avoid such an outcome altogether.
"Of course. But I have one more question for you. ...How well do you know your sister?" he asks of Xenia.
"I ask this for a simple reason. Do you believe that your sister could be dissuaded from her quest to seek out who she had been?"
<Pose Tracker> Xenia has posed.
Xenia narrows her eyes a little when Citan says there not being more sisters is both very good and very bad. She's trying to gauge what he might be thinking this time. While not having to explain every little thing has helped things along, there are moments such as this where she is left with questions of her own. Though there's clearly a lot that she knows about Citan, she doesn't have him completely figured out. If she does have questions, though, she doesn't ask them. She simply allows the conversation to flow, saying what she wishes and hearing Citan's comments in turn.
That is, until he starts asking more questions. Given that he prefaced them with the supposition that she may be watched even now, it stands to reason that she starts to look a little uncomfortable. She doesn't answer these questions very elaborately - the blanket statement she starts her response with will have to serve as the reason why.
"...There are some things I can't speak of. But I will say this. What happened was an accident. They want her back, the way she used to be."
Nothing regarding the identity of whoever 'they' might be, or what exactly their goals are. That seems to be the limit. She loses some tension afterwards, placing a hand on her hip and assuming a more casual stance afterwards. "Well, I am Xantia's twin sister, after all. I have a pretty good idea of how she thinks. ...how the old her would think. All I have to do is think about what I would do, if our positions were reversed. That's how I can be so sure about what will happen."
The final question seems to bring some tension back, Xenia letting her hands drop to her side, balling her fists, head slightly lowered. "...After all the encouragement you people have been giving her, I can only hope it's not too late to talk her out of it. Somehow. I wouldn't be here talking to you if I knew a way. All I know for sure is... Xantia will never listen to me." She raises her head, to look Citan in the eyes. "Nor will she listen to you if you so much as mention you spoke to me. Try to dissuade her then, and she'll think you're on 'my side', you won't get anywhere if you lose her trust like that. I guess I was just... hoping that you would be able to influence things more subtly. That you would understand that some truths are best left buried, to prevent dire consequences. You know a thing or two about that sort of thing, don't you?"
She shakes her head then, and walks back over to the stall, picking up the package that she casually tossed onto it earlier and tucking it under her arm. She keeps her back to Citan as she speaks, "...I'm out of time. And I've told you more than I should have already. But, you should know, doc... I've previously made an error in judgment. Because of that, Xantia may already be aware that I've been trying to get others to alter her path." She glances over her shoulder. "Make no mistake. If she ever realizes you've met with me, and that you hid it from her, that's it. She'll never trust you again. If that happens, there may be no avoiding what's to come."
She turns fully to Citan, returned to a business-like demeanor. "I can't force you to follow my advice. This is a gamble. I only have room for one, and you're it. I hope I judged you correctly. Either way, we won't speak again, not like this. So if you have any questions remaining... make your last one a good one. And one that I can answer."
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
"...I see. No, this makes more sense than my other supposition. Then they will also try to cause her to regain her memory," he says, shaking his head. "In fact, I would be surprised if they have not tried to attempt such already. Are you certain that we are the only ones encouraging Xantia, Xenia...?"
She doesn't answer what her masters are, or what their goals might be. In a sense, he had expected as much. Shifting his stance, he appears to mull over matters quietly for a moment more.
"...But it is strange. The ones who control you and her have unusual definitions about who the native inhabitants of Filgaia might be. After all, my own ancestors were born on the planet's surface." Citan shakes his head. "Well, I am certain they have their own rationale."
She says to him that she would know, that she's her sister's twin, after all.
"Then you know that she would seek herself even if we were to attempt to dissuade her. It may be in her nature to do so. I have a friend who had once lost all of his memory, only to suddenly regain it when he was reminded of someone important to him." He pauses then and frowns slightly. "Or... perhaps she was even 'imprinted' in the event of an occurance such as this? Considering all that I have learned about her and you, it would not be an impossibility. Indeed, even Solaris has been known to do such things..."
He is not unfamiliar with mind control and the subtle effects -- and devastating outcomes -- it can burn into the psyche.
"...What I am saying is that it may already be too late. What do you intend to do then? She has not yet remembered herself, but the path towards such an outcome may be irrevocable."
He speaks these words with gravity.
Some fates cannot be outrun.
"Are you prepared to do what must be done, in that event?"
Especially if Xantia already will not listen to her anymore.
"If you are not, then I have one suggestion for you. Perhaps it is time for you to tell her," he says, a proposition that may sound rich coming from a man like him. Indeed, Xantia says even now that he seems the type that prefers to keep hidden things hidden.
But...
"Actually... I believe you have misjudged me," Citan tells her, smiling apologetically, the first note of levity to return to his expression in several long minutes. "It is true that there are things best left buried... but not forever. I believe in education, you might say, if at the proper time. In the end we can only learn from our mistakes. To pretend that they never happened in the first time is to invite them to happen a second time."
He believes that. But he is still unable to conduct a proper judgement. More time is needed, even if he suspects that it is slipping between his fingers as the years progress. Otherwise, he will be forced to an unkind move...
"...So you have spoken to the others. Which of them?" he asks, when she reveals that she's said too much, and that Xantia may already be aware that her sister is making overtures to her compatriots. "I would know so that we are able to coordinate." And so he knows where to cover her tracks, if necessary.
"But I understand what you are saying. Some actions are unforgivable. If I were to trade places with her..." Citan shakes his head. "It would be understandable. This is a situation where prudence is required. But, I must again say," he continues, watching her as she moves, "you may wish to reconsider. Xantia is... strongwilled. And more than that, the ones who manage you may wish her restored to herself. Or it may even be that she may recall her memory spontaneously."
He exhales a breath. "There is the chance that she cannot be compelled to forget, and that explaining to her will also fail to change what you say is coming. In that event... there will only be one thing that can be done. Do you understand me, Xenia?"
He is still far too accustomed to coming to such grim conclusions. Even the years haven't swept from him his propensity to see the most direct end to a problem. He even suspects he would not be unable to see it through if necessary. But...
<Pose Tracker> Xenia has posed.
Xenia smiles wryly at Citan's initial conclusions. "Of course they're attemping to help her memory along. What do you think I'm here for?" Her smile quickly fades. "I did say I'm running out of time, did I not?"
She doesn't elaborate further on those giving her instructions, or what those exact instructions are. Her answers are getting shorter. She's more and more in a hurry for things to move along. She clearly feels that she's done all she can here, and this will have to be enough.
But Citan continues speaking. And the more he says, the plainer the dismay on Xenia's face. This is not where she thought things were headed. She was looking for active assistance on the only correct path that she had determined, and now it's becoming clear that she's not going get that.
And he says that he may already be too late... the dismay turns to anger.
"What will I do then? Are you seriously asking me that right now? After all this, you still believe that anything I will do from this point on is going to be a choice? The entire reason I'm here is that this is all I can do! I can't alter my path any more than Xantia can alter hers, unless somebody does something about it!"
She may have misjudged Citan, indeed. She lowers her head as she speaks. She doesn't interrupt again. She only listens, quietly. It's difficult to tell how she feels about everything she's being told, about Citan's suggestions on where things may need to be taken. She hears his questions on who else she has spoken to, and his final question on whether she understands what he's telling her.
Initially, there is only silence. Then, after a moment... Xenia starts to chuckle.
"Oh... I think I understand. I understand that... you're not going to help, are you...?"
She raises her head and laughs out loud for a second or two, after which she cuts it off abruptly, and speaks far too pleasantly in a raised voice, "Well, that's it then! I really thought you were getting it, but in the end, all of you are useless to me! Great! Fine! My life may be ruined, but at least I'll have a front row seat when you get what you deserve for being a bunch of hopeless idiots! I won't even have to feel sorry that I can't play nice with you all anymore! At this point I wouldn't bother even if I could, you're all just too stupid to live!!"
Not about to listen to anything else that Citan has to say, Xenia disappears in a blue flash. Within moments, a streak of blue light can be seen traveling across the water, departing the Thames at high speed.
<Pose Tracker> Citan Uzuki has posed.
"That is... also a choice," he tells her. He's not smiling this time.
In a sense, she and he are not terribly dissimilar. There are many aspects of their very existence as it currently stands that are absolutely outside their control. It's just that in his case, it is the essential nature at the psychic core of a particular young man and in her case, whoever holds the other end of her chain.
They're both forced to act in response to either stimuli.
Or, rather, he has not had his hand forced yet. But it is only a matter of time.
Jessie would call him a pessimist. He would call himself a realist. But even he's not without hope.
Xenia, though, has had enough.
Consternation takes over as the expression on his face; he furrows his brow. "Now... I did not say that, Xenia..."
But it's past that point already. She's had enough of this and enough of him.
He outstretches one hand as if to stall her. "Xenia, wait--"
It's a little too late for any further argument from him. Once again, he has either made an argument only for it to fall on deaf ears, or possibly overstepped. She's away and gone in an instant after that, leaving the doctor behind.
"..."
He glances away from the spot in which the young woman had stood, fidgeting with his glasses a moment. "...That did not go well," he remarks aloud, before gazing up towards the sky again.
Well. This has now officially become his problem to solve. To let things proceed to their natural end would be unacceptable. But he has little faith that Xenia's plan will work. And yet, his suggestion to Xenia is also impossible as he sees it. If he were to set himself to such a terrible thing...
He shakes his head. No. It cannot be done. So much would be destroyed. Xantia must live and she must never regain her memories.
"...The first thing to do is start with the essentials," he remarks aloud after a moment's thought. "It is the only way in which to proceed."
He needs more information, and to gain that, he has to talk to Xantia and ascertain what she's learned. Only then can he begin to evaluate and weigh the situation further.
His role has truly become a most complex thing.