2021-12-18: We're Not In It Alone

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==========================<* The Thames - Market *>===========================

The Thames' market is nestled around the operations tower of the once-aircraft carrier. It is a veritable nest of essentials and luxuries, ranging from the open-air stalls tantalising one's taste buds and nostrils with the scent of fried foods and other quick bites, to the nitty and gritty of the all-you-can-find bargain bin of spent Gear parts. The only limiting factor of this market is one's patience in searching for diamonds in the rough... and willingness to haggle and strike friendships with the locals. The energy around the deck is positively infectious, always with at least a low-key level of laughter and camaraderie.

BGM: Xenogears - Thames, The Man of the Sea

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Poor Silvestris took a real beating during the battle at Macalania, but luckily Xantia managed to pull back before being rendered immobile. She was quiet during and after the retreat, giving only 'I'm fine' types of responses, which tends to be an obvious sign that she's not entirely fine. That's just speaking physically - Sylvestris did all the heavy lifting this time, so she herself was pretty fine. Not too happy about needing to fall back obviously, but following the usual pattern of needing to put her thoughts in order first to figure out how she feels about the whole thing.

Since bringing the Gear over to the Thames's repair bays, she's mostly been fretting over Silvestris. Seeing the damage with her own eyes, and not knowing much about repair work, she stuck around a bit to ask the engineers questions until satisfied with the repeated guarantees that everything would be just fine. Still, as she moves towards the exit of the facility to join the friend that accompanied her here, her expression and emotions betray her sadness at the state of her machine. She doesn't seem to care any less about it than she would a living person.

That doesn't last, however. As she approaches Lily, her expression changes, darkens, as her emotions turn toward anger. Not directed at Lily herself of course, just general anger borne out of frustration with recent events. It's not uncommon for Xantia to get particularly angry when Solaris is up to something, especially when she isn't in a position to do anything about it. Case in point...

"Lily, what was that? Three Elements in the same place? That's not normal, what is going on over there?"

Of course, Xantia is going fully by what her memories are saying is normal for Solaris and presuming 100% accuracy, who knows to what degree they actually are accurate. Still, going by what she 'knows', it's plain to see how big of a deal she believes this is. Not the scale that she was expecting, going into this. 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Lily Keil did a lot of her own heavy lifting, and she'll have to do some recovering to go with it--in terms of wounds, she's already healed, but as usual after she uses that form, there's some lingering magic that she can't quite shake... so she's wearing sunglasses here. She has more experience with working on Gears by now, so she can help with the reassurance. And then, there's...

Yep. There's Xantia. And she's angry--not at her, but even so.

"Something important," Lily imagines. "Could they be studying the Fayth? Or the effects of the magic there on the weather? I can't imagine much else there... Though that's its own problem."

Lily is not inclined to argue whether it's a big deal; that's a lot of firepower in one place. Though, "It could just be that that's their primary base on Spira, of course. Still..." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Important, that's for sure, Xantia nods vigorously in agreement. "Solaris's big assault on Shevat was led by two Elements, that's generally considered enough to deal with most anything. And they have three here to defend something? It has to be big."

She's putting a lot of emphasis on her words. But then, she's feeling pretty emphatic about this. Solaris doing something big will invariably mean that Xantia is going to feel very strongly about stopping it. Whatever 'it' is, in this instance. Any of Lily's suggestions feels valid, but if she's honest, it doesn't even much matter to her what's being done, all that matters is that they don't get to do it. That last remark though...

"I don't know why they'd put so much focus on Spira to begin with, why do they even need such a big base over there? Do they want to control two planets now? No, I don't think that's right..."

As always, Xantia is vexed by uncertainty, especially the kind that nothing can be done about. She knows better than to suggest going back now, while everything's on high alert. And she doesn't blame Lily for what happened. She instead picks a more appropriate target to put the blame on.

"And that Loren guy! What does he have against you anyway? And does he ever stop cheating?!"

She must mean the Drive. If that doesn't count as cheating, what would? 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

"Right."

There's a lot of emphasis there, but sure--it's important! But there's still a lot they don't know, admittedly. Like... Xantia's question. "No idea," Lily admits. "I don't think it's that, either--we'd have seen them do... more, by now. They seem content to hole up there for the most part, trips to Zanarkand aside."

Loren, though. That's a topic, all right. Lily shakes her head. "We've had issues with one another for a long time. He thinks I'm unstable and dangerous, and he's at least half-right. I just think he's an asshole... and dangerous."

Drive sure counts. 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia opens her mouth and seems about to continue ranting, when instead she lets out a deep sigh, and shakes her head.

"You always stay so calm about everything." There's no judgment there. Just an observation of the obvious. "I don't know how you manage it. You can keep calm even when you're angry." And an observation of the less obvious.

Xantia sure wouldn't be the same way after having to deal with somebody she's had issues with for a long time. People she doesn't like are gonna hear about how much she doesn't like them. Still, being calmer now, she manages to focus on something else regarding Loren, crossing her arms as she considers.

"...And yet, he showed concern for someone other than a Solarian. He could get in real trouble for that. He should know that, but he didn't seem to care. Strange." There's something that runs contrary to what she 'knows' about Solaris. And that's not all that's strange. Having calmed down a bit, and thinking things over more, there's another thing she has to wonder about.

"That Drive stuff you mentioned... back there, for a moment it felt as if I knew what it's like. I mean... really know what it is, what it does, in detail. I haven't been able to remember it the same way since. I wonder what that means." 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

"...I'm trained to," Lily answers simply, though maybe that's not all of it. "I worked a long time at staying calm in stressful situations. And I have to; if I lose control, my magic goes out of control."

So that's that. But Loren--that's true. Xantia points out something he did, and Lily nods thoughtfully. "Yeah... It's strange. Surprising, even. But I guess if it would be anyone, it would be her--she worked with Solaris for a while, though not willingly."

Drive... "I wonder. Would anyone other than Solaris use it?" Lily questions. "...I'm somewhat familiar, but only because I took some of it to escape from the palace in Bledavik. I stole it from him, in fact, when I broke out." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia only lets out an even 'hmm', at being told one can train to be that way. Knowing that's something that can be trained, and something that makes sense to have trained, doesn't really help her imagine how it's possible. Even if she equates it to something she had to learn to do out of necessity, such as holding back on her strength to not break everything she picked up, it doesn't feel like it's quite the same.

Regarding the one Loren showed concern for, that provokes more of a reaction, Xantia learning something new in the process. "Really, Lan did? And she got away from them?" She looks baffled for a moment, but then smiles. "That's good. That means there's hope for the others." She doesn't specify, but she's thinking about Lydia and Azoth in particular. She has no idea how to help them, so any confirmation that there is a way is very welcome.

Lily's remarks on drive cause a grimace from Xantia at first. She was there that day, and while she was told to focus on Cecilia's rescue at the time, she did at least glance Lily's way in passing. That clearly left an impression. "...I remember that time. You, uh... you didn't look very good." Lily probably didn't have access to a mirror at the time, but if even Xantia elects to not go into more detail than that, one can imagine how bad it must've been.

This also causes her to veer off from her train of thought and focus more on Lily. She probably doesn't even need to say anything, given that she's started to overtly stare at the sunglasses. But she does eventually ask. "...Are you sure it's alright to keep doing that?" 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

Lily doesn't really specify how in any case; maybe it would work for Xantia, but... maybe not. Lily is used to it by now.

"That's right," Lily answers to both questions about Lan. The matter of hope for the others? Lily nods at that. "In theory, anyway. I don't yet know how to free everyone who's under their thumb, but... it's something we have to think about in any case."

But the grimace--Lily grins faintly, shaking her head. It's a gallows kind of grin, though. "I felt terrible," Lily says. "I'd been sick for days, locked up--I had to break my arm to get out of the restraints. The Drive just made me... calm. Too calm. And powerful enough to break out. I wouldn't take it again if I could help it--the things I did on Drive, I can do on my own, now. ...Mostly."

But Xantia's trail of thought indeed seems obvious to Lily as she stares. "The alternative is to let Solaris have their way," Lily answers. "And I'm used to it by now; it's not really a risk of venting the excess magic around people anymore." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia nods eagerly in regards to freeing everyone Solaris controls against their will. "I think... it would be difficult to force it, but as long as they can fight back somehow, there's got to be something we can do. Other than the usual. I'd rather not punch someone who doesn't deserve it unless I'm sure it'll help." Or it's just for fun. But that's neither here nor there.

Xantia grimaces harder when Lily does go into further detail. "I can't even imagine. To be stuck like that, for so long..." Well, of course someone unable to stay put for any length of time can't imagine that, and doesn't even want to imagine how terrible it must be to be forced into that position. Let alone bring up the whole Ether suppression element in it. Xantia would prefer not to think too much about her worst nightmare.

But, worst nightmare or not... at least there's the possibility of imagining it. Where it comes to what's going on with Lily now, there's a lot of unknowns. Which may be more frightening still. She doesn't look very pleased by the answer to that, frowning a bit.

"...That's not fair, making it be about Solaris. If you put it like that, it's hard for me to object." She's not sure if that was intentional, but it feels like it. She shakes her head. "Is that really true, though? You have plenty of power without resorting to... that, every time."

Lily claims to be used to it, Xantia won't argue that point. But she does hook into the issue of risk. "What about the risk to you? Can you be sure there is none?" Xantia looks briefly apologetic, waving a hand. "I don't mean to tell you what to do or anything. It's just... I'd like to say that you know what you're doing. And I do think so, most of the time. But, that thing you did back there, with the pentagram. Can you explain to me what that was?"

Xantia knows Ether when she senses it. Whatever that was, it wasn't the same. 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

"That sounds right," Lily says. "It would be hard just to force it, but... if we can find a way," she says, "Then it'll go far. And we will find one. We just need time."

Xantia's sympathy is appreciated; for all that Lily is calm, it was... a very negative experience. "Thanks," she says. "It was... pretty bad. That's about all I can say, I guess."

There are many unknowns. But this, not fair? "Hmmm. I guess that's true," she says. "But it's not just because of Solaris. I guess I'd hesitate to stay away from my power. I'd rather understand it, and to understand it, I have to use it, and practice. ...And when it comes to fighting Gears I do need more firepower than I have even in the lesser transformation. Though I have a lead on some new machinery..."

A pause. The risk to her? Hmm. "I can't be certain," she admits. "But I don't think there is." She stops, and smiles. "No, it's fine; I appreciate it. That..." That particular question.

"Yeah, that I can actually answer--I'm not entirely sure how I did it, but I know what I did. I drew on the... nanomachines. In that form, I can... use them, sort of--turn them into arrays that can produce more power. It was a technological weapon, instead of a magical one. It seemed... useful, since he knows how to better defend against magic." 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

Xantia wears a neutral expression for some time, remaining awfully quiet in regards to Lily's answers. She's making it hard to tell how she feels about them. Which is... notable, not just because Xantia usually makes that completely obvious. Lily, more than most, should be able to tell even without any outward signs. Yet for a moment, there's absolutely nothing there to read. Eerily similar to what trying to peer into Xenia's mind is like...

The moment soon passes, Xantia's typically positive emotions returning like a sudden blast of warm air as she smiles sheepishly. "I can't exactly argue that. Like I'd be any different. Both using everything I have in a fight, and wanting to understand the things I can do. I still worry though, I can't help it. I don't completely understand what you're doing, but I do understand what can happen if you overdo it. And having to try using something I don't understand to fix something you don't understand, well, that's... it's not great."

Of course it was all fully motivated out of genuine concern. It's always easier to be concerned for a friend than for herself, doing similar things. Thankfully, Lily isn't offended. It's good to be on the same wavelength.

Xantia listens attentively to the explanation of this form of Lily's power, nodding along a bit. She doesn't appear terribly surprised. "...I see. As much sense as that makes, I sure hope it won't cause too much of a strain. Nanomachines can do a lot, but they usually have specific purposes. Forcing them to do something they weren't meant to do..."

Xantia stops herself, turning on a dime from sounding unlike her usual self back to normal with a chuckle. "Well, like I said, I don't mean to tell you what to do. Just... please be careful. Okay? If anything doesn't feel right, you don't have to force yourself, especially not when I'm around. I'll do whatever I can to help, that's a promise." 

<Pose Tracker> Lily Keil has posed.

It is unusual; maybe it's Xantia's concern motivating her to be cagier. Maybe it's something different. It's very odd...

But Lily doesn't press on it for the moment. Instead she says, "True. That's not great. I appreciate the concern, I do."

Lily doesn't exactly get mad at someone being worried over her, as a rule; it's a sign of something good that someone cares, and, well... she can't say it's all familiar territory. Still.

"It didn't feel like a huge strain--quite the opposite, it still feels easy. I'm not sure it isn't something they were 'meant' to do."

"I'll be careful, though. Or at least, I'll keep an eye on what I'm doing, whether it feels 'easy' or not. ...Thanks," she says. "I... well. I don't want you overdoing it, either, to be clear. But I'll try to remember I'm not in it alone, all right?" 

<Pose Tracker> Xantia has posed.

"Had a feeling you'd say that!" Xantia responds a little more loudly and cheerfully than appropriate, when Lily clarifies how using that power feels. "That was more of a 'just in case' thing, it didn't sound like something you could easily force if it wasn't meant to work like that. It feels so right, doesn't it, discovering a power like that?" She knows a thing or two about that sort of thing.

She's back to typical all-smiles Xantia by this point, beaming at the positive response to her concern. "That's all I'm asking! What's necessary is necessary, it's just not always easy to judge what's necessary, you know?" She knows a thing or two about that, too. "So yeah, I'm just hoping you'll remember what I said if there's ever a time you really need the reminder. Just one of the many things that makes memories so important!" Always finding ways to bring it back around to that, isn't she.

And, of course... "Who, me? Overdo it? What makes you think you need to be worried about that?" She can't say that with a straight face. "That was a joke," she clarifies the obvious, very proud that she's starting to understand how jokes work. It may not help to make the following promise sound terribly sincere, but she does mean it: "I'll be careful too!"

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